The Viral Podcast Ep. 90

get ready ready we're going viral get ready ready we're going viral hello everyone and welcome back  to another installment of the   viral podcast I'm your host Chelcie  Lynn and I'm your host Paige Ginn and this is a very exciting episode and if you're  listening you're thinking Hmm I wonder why that   is if you're could it be if you're watching  you know why we are finally in the new studio guys the freaking work like we are still not  done it we were doing [ __ ] to the last second   of filming oh big time we we have been working  on this new studio we were just talking for over   a month about almost two months um on a regular  basis all of us in here putting in Blood Sweat   and Tears we we really really really wanted it  to be all the way done by the time we filmed   and it's it's 90 done if you're watching and  you're like oh something's off the lighting's   off the lighting is off we ordered new lighting  we need to wait on it so you know over the next   couple episodes it will get better and we will be  official we know we need to do better so don't you   don't have to tell us we're trying to do better  yeah and um also if you're watching and you see   some like oohs coming out of my head and I look  like a little Uzi vert um she's got stuff coming   out of her forehead there was a little calcium  deposit in my head I was trying to squeeze it   you mean is it no it's no Z it's like um dude  it's gonna be almost rubbery to the texture   I didn't know about that I've never heard of  that I'll let you know hey babe come uh pop   this calcium deposit I got it from my bag I  get them in my eye look huh that's weird um   also bear with us we we wanted to start recording  hours ago but we've been having technical   difficulty so everything should be up and running  now but you know you never know so that's why   I started picking up my forehead yeah technical  difficulties you found that Clump found that Clump   and also we have some big wait did we already say  who we met who do we meet oh my gosh Tim and Chad   Tim and Chad oh did we talk about that I  can't remember no it's [ __ ] bad we haven't   okay yeah we've done y'all we have a lot to talk  about before even before we get into calls we have   a lot A lot's been going on I was thinking  last night have we talked about meeting our   two friends that we just met are good good  friends and then I was like oh yeah we had   to have and then I guess I'm glad we'll tell them  yeah well you know I hosted tailgate and Tall Boys   in Clinton Iowa and Bloomington Illinois I had the  time of my life everybody here came up and uh we   met Tim McGraw Paige had no clue who he was I know  yeah dude a little back story on Tim when we first   pulled up to tailgates and tall boys the word  around Camp was like uh don't talk to Tim don't   even look at Tim and I'm thinking [ __ ] dude I've  probably already talked to him not even knowing   ask the [ __ ] where the bathroom is or something  but um we got to meet him and we met Chad Kroger   obviously lead singer of Nickelback look at  this Photograph oh what a good guy can I just   say Tim McGraw was so nice Chad Kroger was so  nice Chad knew who I was I walked up and he   goes hey I just saw you on Tick Tock like that  day what are the freaking odds dude very weird   um we we've got Vlogs of that sorry um the vlog's  up have you did you Vlog that I did but I need   some more uh footage because I filmed vertical  you and gotcha well we've logged it Maggie's got a   vlog up on her YouTube channel I've got a vlog up  on my YouTube channel speaking of Vlogs uh we have   a big announcement to make but real quick speaking  of Vlogs um several episodes ago we talked about   Brett waxing his butthole and me getting the wax  and all that we did that and he waxed his balls   and it was incredible and that Vlog is up on my  patreon um it was great now our big announcement   not really a good announcement for the viewers I'm  honestly trying to think about it Dave I forgot   well um we're gonna take a little we're gonna  take a couple weeks off from the podcast after   this episode yes um so we're gonna we're gonna  take a break we're gonna relax we're gonna take   some time off going a little vacation um so  the next two Tuesdays you guys will not have   a podcast but we will be up and running right  after that I probably won't even be relaxed and   I'll be getting caught up try to relax there  ain't no way try to relax Honeys and uh yeah   um sorry about that I know I'm gonna upset some  people but sometimes we need a break though just   not posting for two weeks is going to just help  us out like you know a mental break and I need a   refresher yeah I need a refresher they'll pick me  up big time it's really hard for me to be creative   and write good stuff and even be on for this  podcast when you're so drained yes that I'm   excited to almost just take a chill pill and and  come back refreshed and you know so but we'll miss   you and we'll have a lot to talk about when we  get back yes we will and thanks for sticking with   us too yes and thank you for helping us take  over the world oh yeah make sure when we're   gone that you keep that in mind um me and Beth  just got back we went to Cincinnati a few days   ago and went to the Taylor Swift concert that's  why I'm wearing my Taylor Swift merch right now   um show is amazing hot sweaty oh God   it was so hot so we had VIP seats we splurged on  the on the VIP seats and like we got there at 2PM   um and it was hot we were in line a lady passed  out right beside us I mean it was it was hot   um VIP should have little fans that come out  from under your seat and air your [ __ ] for   as much as I paid I wanted my [ __ ]  rubbed by by Taylor by Taylor Swift   you know what I'm saying yeah God that'd be  awesome be a little reach around if that was   an option oh God that'd be great Hey Taylor dude  that needs to be on my next VIP seating list Flint   rub by Tammy herself hey uh if you are sitting in  seat number 14 dead dead see look at Maggie she's   gone and y'all we are we're gonna try to pull  we're gonna try to pull through on this pod we   were up till oh Beth was working on this pod room  she was hanging up lights at what midnight last   night like so we're we've been getting this pod  room ready but yeah a little fuzzy for sure but   Maggie did something did she tell you I didn't  tell her what hello and welcome to the MooMoo   commercials who wants better sex me me me you do  who wants better nuts me me me the best way to get   started is to go to adamandeve.com adamandeve.com  is offering 50 off just about any one item plus   free shipping which includes Rush processing so  if you're in the need for a fast quick nut guess   what they got you and it doesn't even have to  just be a nut if you want to stretch your [ __ ]   if you would like to get your clintonum Adam and  Eve has so many different items to satisfy your   needs don't wait it's just a click away bring more  pleasure and satisfaction into your bedroom just   go to adamandeve.com and select any one item it  could be an adventurous new toy or anything you   desire you know you want a nut or do you want to  nut harder and there's more than that Adam and Eve   want to make your life easy they offer discreet  shipping as your privacy is a priority plus one   hundred percent free shipping with Rush processing  on your entire order you just can't beat it just   enter code offer viral at checkout that's viral  v-i-r-a-l at adamandeve.com this is exclusive   offer specific to this podcast so be sure to  use this code viral to get your discount 100   free shipping and get it fast with Rush shipping  code viral oh yeah I did my first uh coffee enema   last night we talked about this on the Pod I know  I'm like dude you didn't even run in here [ __ ]   and screaming that you did it okay how was it  it was good as soon as you because I ordered the   bucket and yeah there's all the whole setup  from like Amazon so as soon as you let that   clamp go and the coffee starts to roll in you  immediately like feel like you have to [ __ ]   so it says to like hold it in for at least 15  minutes yes yeah it was the longest hardest 15   minutes of my life were you laying in your bathtub  uh just on a little towel like in the floor did   you just have to like keep your cheeks clamped  there was no mess but while you're holding it in speak it just it just went in I mean hold  on is it just me does her mic sound muffled   um I can't hear myself no no I'm talking about  her mic speaker but Maggie herself okay that's   better okay you were talking on the side of  it okay um so you were in the bathroom floor   though uh just my bedroom floor bedroom floor  and I laid a towel down when you got up to push   out the enema it didn't it didn't squirt out no  it wasn't like it wasn't messy at all you don't   have to lay in the bathtub not like I thought so  you went to the shower and just what just pushed   it out no I just sit on the pot oh my God and it  all just just the water just kind of all came out   how much coffee or like a full gallon or it was  like three the the ingredients was like three cups your ass was gaping with coffee yeah Gaffey  here hey Honey's gapy here hey Honeys how much   to drink it there oh my God how do you feel no  difference yet or whatever um no it felt good I   I felt like I had a bursa of energy afterwards  I slept good like I could tell so y'all know   we've talked about wanting to do coffee enemas  on the Pod before well last week Maggie had   horrible pains in her stomach she hadn't [ __ ]  in like a while a long time she was having major   issues she went to get a colonic the other day and  the lady was like I'll tell you right now you need   to do coffee enemas it'll change your life and she  came back and told me and go we've been wanting to   do them she she actually gave me a coffee enema  that day so that was my first one and then I   did another one at home she told me what all to  order and stuff so my brother-in-law really was   trying to have us do them and I'm like oh gosh  I just didn't know where the tubes have been look a little grimy and you also eat ass well what  does that have to do with the tube going in mine   come on now well if you can put it on somebody  else's butthole on your mouth you can put someone   else's butthole juices on your own butthole damn  though yeah bacteria no hole I'm not saying you   should I'm just saying I'm more keen to it now  for sure yeah and um I called did it just burst   out of your ass like oh yeah like a [ __ ] like  the squirts like you turned on one of those fire   hoes to a house you know what I mean um but so I  forgot to mention after you get it all in you're   supposed to lay on your left side oh only on your  left side only on your left side don't lay flat   so I rolled over and I was just like sweating  [ __ ] just laying there for what reasons the   left I wonder like what it is it gets it it's like  your liver's over there so I don't know it gets it   nice and up there I think some tubes are up  there over there can you imagine Maggie was   a doctor and someone's like so why should I  lay on my left it gets it nice and up there something like that it gets gets it nice enough  in there or something um damn it is probably hard   to explain she said that the [ __ ] doctor can  look at the tube and uh she does not recommend   uh Costco cheap tablets like the pills she sees  those things flying through just [ __ ] tablets   tablets of what [ __ ] she had a lady come in  before me because I asked her I was like do   you see anything weird like we were just talking  and uh she said yeah actually I see like vitamin   capsules that don't open or dissolve yeah from  like Costco oh no come out of the [ __ ] like   come out of the colon hell no that's a waste of  money exactly full tablets wow how does she know   that from Costco did she asked the people I think  so wow just the cheap vitamins she goes you really   have to spend money on vitamins if you want good  vitamins wow dude because I was thinking about   that because you know I wanted to microdose my  mushrooms so I was looking online and I'm like   what are they [ __ ] made out of it was like this  vegetable glass what was that you're right Beth   oh all right well we don't know what that  was what the hell that was my phone go ahead   um so where was I oh vegetable glycerin and stuff  and I'm like that can't be healthy for you yeah so   now that she says they've been backed up and now  coming out like hundreds at a time you know you   say it can't be healthy for you we also ate 80  worth of Taco Bell last night and ramen noodles   growing up all her lives so you know your pick  you choose yeah we're still here yeah um listen   we wanted to desperately have all new and we're  still going to do some of the old ones but we   wanted to have all new segments for the first time  we did our first episode in the studio we don't   have the jingles ready no I'm actually working on  them but me and Chelsea have been doing moo moo   commercials and a bunch of things the last couple  days so I'll get those to you hopefully we'll have   them in the next a couple episodes of the new  Jingles but we're gonna do a new segment today   um first let me announce Rock [ __ ]  of the week okay we pick one person   um randomly who interacts with our social medias  comments shares Etc rockfucker of the week is Lucy   Walker [Music] Maggie's gonna reach out and um  get your T-shirt size and your address and we'll   send you a piece of viral podcast merge all right  also now before we get into our new segment let's   go ahead and do a you got a DM or something  or oh yeah what's the deal for the day honey   what's the deal for the day honey  what's the name of the day honey   um so I've got one and I thought I when I tell  you I screamed oh [ __ ] I screamed here we go   and I almost don't want to give you I almost  don't want to say I'm just going to read it are y'all ready I'm nervous a man named  Jordan looks like he's maybe in his 30s said   I'm sorry that girl is so weird and creepy  and downright can you hear me can you hear my   mic yeah yeah that's Maggie adjusting her Mike  oh my mic like went out hey Honey's technical   difficult okay yours I'm sorry that girl is so  weird and creepy and downright nasty any girl   that plays with period blood for a hobby ain't  right in the head they talking about me yes   sorry sorry I screamed that's funny yes they're  talking about you dude I had people coming up   to me at your show saying I play with my plot  still oh I know I mean what do you how do you   get them out of the shower when they plop out  and they're there I mean I'm just telling you   leave them there to cross I don't [ __ ] know  what the hell to do crusty clots Paige come on   I'll get a little scraper a little cloth scraper  I'm just telling you what he said I thought it   was funny get a shuffle I'll get a shovel just  start [ __ ] plopping them in a bucket that's   funny that he sent that to you I know I know he's  probably got to be in here all right and my phone   for sure saying something rude okay what's it here  for the day honey I will tell you okay let's see   just sing a little song dude hey honey  should have had this pulled up here it   should have been a cowboy all right all right  what was it again for the day honey okay   let's give you some motivation nope don't  do that you guys had a lot going on have   it on repeat this is people no no no  that's what drives me crazy [Laughter]   what's it in for the day honey  where's my album will you help me huh I made these new albums and now I can't dude okay  here we go and it's so dumb this guy Jake said   let me slide through it paigey wagy  slide through it that was kind of cute   pagey Wagey yeah there was that one and then um  interesting lit okay so that was pretty much it   okay well all right let's go ahead and do one of  our new segments we usually right now we would   play a really cool jingle but we don't have it so  we're gonna tell you what it is Paige take it away you need help well you um you start it I  know you can tell them what it is though   oh I thought you were gonna announce it okay  well we are going to do a new segment called   finish the lyrics Let's sing that again finish  the lyrics all right it starts out with Chelsea   saying something and then yeah oh yeah we'll do  the jingle later let's just finish the lyrics Yeah   so basically what we're gonna do is we pick three  songs a piece to finish and and I'm gonna sing   it and you have to finish the lyrics vice versa  we didn't know if just one of us should ask the   other person um you know five questions and then  we go back and forth like each podcast or just   ask each other three three questions like you know  yeah we got it are you ready so tell let us know   you ready Paige I'm going  first here we go I'm scared   should we tell the name of the songs  no no no no okay ready what the hell   if I was your boyfriend I'd never let you go keep  you on my arm girl you never be alone I Can Be A   Champion anything you want if I was girlfriend I  never let you go I mean boyfriend I mean Boyfriend   If I Was Your Boyfriend dude hold on I haven't  listened to that in like 10 years okay well I   picked a Justin Bieber song because you're  obsessed with him I was gonna pick boyfriend   for you that's [ __ ] weird I wouldn't know  a Justin Bieber song I know but I thought   you would actually know listen you got it wrong  because it's and I can be a gentleman anything   you want I know I actually said champion on  accident you did okay you ready for the next one   oh my gosh let me get this up here let me get  it up let me get it going here we go you ready [Music] for where ver you are I believe  that the heart does go on Hit It One more you open the door [Music] yes that's it that's it   that's it that's it okay good job one  out of one you ready for the last one why the [ __ ] did I get Justin  Bieber wrong [ __ ] ready ready picture this we were both butt naked banging  on the bathroom floor how could I forget that I   had given her an extra key all those times she  was standing there she never took her eyes off me you got all the lyrics right that you just  said too damn yeah you're right that was   great that was great thanks for doing  those ones you're welcome and you did   better than I thought you would just  saying okay are we ready I'm ready um I don't wanna now I just wanna watch TV huh what the [ __ ] song are you singing  who is that do you want me to do it again   no because I don't know it Billy eilish  what what song is that TV how I've never   [ __ ] heard I told you to pick popular songs  I think three of the most popular songs in the   world for you this sounds like a bazillion  views TV I've never I've never heard of it   either oh sorry dude it's because you're  really good at least pick Old MacDonald I've never heard that song in my life  okay well I hope this one is okay   okay don't switch the blade on the guy and shade  don't know you gotta give me more than that I gave   you like three I gave her three okay okay I'll  give you one more okay okay let me start over   don't switch the blade on the guy and shade don't  know don't Masquerade with the guy in Shades oh no   I know the song I don't know the lyrics believe  it believe it I don't know oh [ __ ] okay   this is a big ass [ __ ] flop okay okay  you got this one you got this one ready   I wanna stand with you on a mountain  I wanna base with you in the sea   blue blue blue blue [Music] forever [Music]  oh my gosh okay I guess I gotta pick more um um Nickelback just Nickelback and create  and that's it I knew songs you didn't   think that I would know man you got me with  the Billy eilish one that one pissed me off   that one is so popular I don't never heard  it right now no never heard it in my life I   just wanna I couldn't tell you one song she's  saying I couldn't even tell you who sung it   at all okay next time I'll come  out at you with something like um oh [Music] these boys from Elvis give me all those  like word for word though because you know what   you [ __ ] know you're right but I looked up do  populars like hits like a queen song I'm not a   huge Queen fan but I know you know like Bohemian  Rhapsody was the biggest song in the world you   know something like that I was just typing  in like the most like famous um I like that's   why Billy eilish I was like oh okay I thought  you would get all bad guy I would probably get   better I'd probably get bad guy that's the only  one that's okay what a great first little first   Rendezvous here you guys we have many many many  new segments coming with with cool segment Jingles   um give us some time to get yeah to get  situated situated in this and also if   you guys are listening could you please DM me  and help me out with these lyrics for Chelsea   that's you might know her a little her genre yeah  that's pretty good and um if you if you're still   listening to us thank you for helping us take over  the world we appreciate your love and support Big   World to take over we've got a big world to  take over and we're gonna need y'all's help I love it okay uh uh we ready to get into  the questions yeah all right Maggie roll that   beautiful Bean footage want to smell better naked  let's face it our underarms aren't the only place   we have body odor that is why I am so thankful for  today's sponsor Lumi whole body deodorant for pits   privates and Beyond created by an OB GYN who saw  too many women being over treated with antibiotics   they didn't need for external day-to-day odor  it's clinically proven to block odor all day and   controls odor for 72 hours there has never never  been a deodorant like Lumi they give new customers   a limited time discount of five dollars off lumi's  starter pack with code viral at lumide.com as you   all know I play tennis and it gets a little sweaty  down there so I like to rub the deodorant stick on   the outer slit layers Lumi was also made with the  most sensitive body parts in mind and as you all   know I am very sensitive down on there so I rarely  use soap so with this deodorant stick I can just   apply it on my outer lips and I am good to go and  smelling fresh as ever I absolutely love the Lumi   starter pack which lets you build a custom bundle  of their best selling products and customize your   scents it comes with a full-size Stick deodorant a  cream deodorant tube and two free products of your   choice like acified body wash or wipes you can  use Lumi products on your pits under boobs thigh   folds belly buttons butt cracks fupas vulvas feet  slits anything you desire so what are you waiting   for get started on your Lumi starter pack today  with over a hundred and fifty thousand five star   reviews we are so confident you'll love Lumi  as a special offer for listeners new customers   get five dollars off a Lumi starter pack with  code viral at Lumi deodorant.com that equates   to over forty percent off your starter pack when  you visit Lumi deodorant.com and use code viral   hey honey Graham here have a dilemma about a first  date I just recently went on I liked this cry very   much we had a lot of chemistry was so excited  he was very cute we're going to dinner he gets   two beers and we eat yada yada we're chatting  it up then he orders a glass of ice cold milk   so men has another beer after that I thought  it was like funny and goofy but for some reason   it's like aching me out I think it's gonna be  okay I think I'm gonna go on another date but   um just need your advice also I would love to  know what the weirdest thing you guys have ever   gotten the ick over uh I feel like such a [ __ ]  that I got the ick for that but I don't know some   I don't know man I'm talking about a grown ass man  drinking a glass of milk and his mustache I don't   know now I'm scared I'm about to get Knocked Up by  the damn milk man okay honey you better not listen   to this and if he does wish me luck should I start  this video or not let me know bye honey oh my gosh   hey Honey's vitamin D here yeah and you'll be okay  I mean that's on him if he wants to drink milk and   beer that's [ __ ] that's weird but some people  do Jameson and milk my sister yeah here dude me   and Greg were at a steakhouse once a really fancy  Steakhouse we had a dinner of steak and lobsters   and [ __ ] and then we ordered a chocolate cake  and Greg was like oh you know be good with this   a glass of milk and I go damn that would be  good but we weren't gonna you know I was like   we can't ask for they don't have milk and we're  just like they of course have milk in the bag so   we asked the layers like we get two glasses of  milk and whatever's like yeah he goes I've never   been asked that in my life but yeah I'll get you  two glasses of milk so now every time we go out   to eat at a nice steakhouse and we get dessert we  ask for milk yeah you did it the other night where   uh in Chicago oh yeah I did about the other  night I got a milk with my with my yeah   um I think it's weird that he's mixing  milk and beer but if you were y'all eating   dessert maybe he wanted a milk maybe he just  likes milk yeah he needs some milk you know   um I think if you give them another try because  I think man what if this guy ends up being the   love of your life he's so good to you he's so  funny and this is something you can look back   on 20 years from now be like God I remember  when I almost break up broke up with him over   a glass of milk maybe he just likes to drink  milk before he goes to bed and so he's just   milky Nene just getting ready you know I  don't I don't think I've ever gotten the   ache over little things like that that's Maggie  yeah she'll get mad if you [ __ ] have an IV   ghost that was like if she if you have the wrong  color shoes on and I'm like man what what happened   that guy was going so great yeah I thought you  really liked him she's like he was wearing orange   shoes he had flip-flops it's not that bad it used  to be it used to be it used to be are you still   seeing that guy yeah really yeah the guy that  said for mediocre sex yeah damn but he's still   laying it I'm supposed to go see him tonight but  we'll see depends on how tired I am when's the   last time you saw him um it's been a while hmm any  reasons just been busy been out of town you yeah   yeah so does he ever hit you up randomly all  the time really so he wants it he wants that   mediocre sex yeah that's strange he hits you up a  lot then and y'all should see this guy nerdy not   my type you're at his League way so you can just  lay there yeah yeah but you know yeah wow I do   a little bit of work if you're if you're just not  tuning in you don't know what we're talking about   um this guy Maggie thinks the sex is great it's  the best and she said man this was so good he   goes yeah for mediocre sex well he said he said  yeah for Basics basic Basics basic and I was   like it pissed me off and I did want to leave and  never come back but you got a good thing going I   got a good thing going yeah and he knows it's  not gonna be anything more so he knows better   um why does he keep hitting you up though do you  think or like did you say hey what's so basic are you texting me uh last night he was like  I'm so desperate to see you oh I was like   okay it must not be that bad right so right wow  interesting Paige what have you like not seen a   guy because of an egg well look what anything  that's been like icky yeah um I guess just um yeah this my ex-boyfriend uh  he had some more Ricky and he I guess the ick was he I looked up at Brody Jenner  and he said what you want to [ __ ] him and then   I said never talked to him again he was out of  there in a [ __ ] flash that was an ick that's a   big that's a that needs to be ache for everyone  right that's a yeah that's icky sticky icky um   y'all we have been um we have this new thing that  uh when one of us farts like let's say all fart I   go oh or Maggie farts I go ooh malt licking that  icky or even if you see baggy pants on somebody I always say malt leaky icky and if you're  leaking you say malt leaky I got that malt   leaky today I got that malt leaky we started  saying that in Chicago and almost passed out   because we were laughing so hard and we  will give some credit to Ed Bassmaster   we know that's coming so if you if you're a  fan of Ed Bassmaster and he watches YouTube   he does this saying oh God was it mumbles  or he asked people he goes hey do you know   where malt liquor is and like he'll give them  a paper to read malt licky so they say leaky   but we started saying Mount leaky and adiki when  we fart and it doesn't mean anything that's what's   funny about it and some people hate it oh yeah  some of our friends they stop [ __ ] saying that   I'm not and we're like he must have Motley he must  have a bad case bad case he's got a bad castle oh my God Tom damn this studio looks nice  y'all it's so roomy in here it's so nice   everything looks great we have room I  just can't believe we're in here I'm   filming right now it's weird like it all  happens so [ __ ] yeah I thought I'd have   a little more time to think nope nope  here no time to think new studio still   sitting no time to think and I am actually  heading to Dallas in two days to start   um shooting my calendar this next year's uh  Tammy calendar so it's it's uh gonna be coming so   well I haven't done it yet like been fun think  the process though just thinking of it and yeah   I'm kind of freaking out because I'm like oh is it  going to come together like I plan on it you know   so I'm kind of freaking out but all in all I'm  I've got some good ideas and you know I'm I'm just   filming it and shooting it in Dallas and then I'm  waiting like three weeks and then I've finished   the rest of it in LA so we'll see we'll see I've  got some good ideas dang dude you go on tour for   this calendar oh I make it a big yes it's a big  deal it's a big deal I've been planning it for   probably the last three months booking Studios  and flights and figuring you know what I'm   props I'm gonna need it's a big it's a long  yeah long process so get your fingers ready   to swipe get your fingers ready to swipe up and  purchase and get your fingers ready to masturbate   to it you know I showed my grandpa do you want to  see oh yeah I saw that Tick Tock um he just big   he just said big big because your tits are like  they you know they're big but in the calendar and   just naked they are like how the [ __ ] are you  not crippled well I'm large I have a large you   know body I have a large body I have large bones  so my my Built My you know the way I'm built can   take them is born to be you know if these tits are  on your frame you'd be falling over every walked   fake Falls you know so um which uh which did uh  picture did you show your grandpa um [ __ ] dude   I can't even remember I think uh sitting on the  car okay with the uh like the really cute one I   don't know how much you want me to say well it's  old okay it's not it's not yeah you're good yeah   just sitting on the car interesting you look  really pretty thanks honeys some of those shots   are ridiculous and then some actually even though  it's trailer trash Tammy look really pretty skin   glows yeah it's really [ __ ] cool thank you  are we done it what was this question Mickey give him another shot it's just a glass of milk  yeah it's not gonna do anything to you and uh   Jerry every night before bed he used to drink a  glass of milk like could not go to bed without it   and he'd rub his pillow and he'd rub it through  his pillow so much that it like would have holes   huh that's a weird one I haven't heard of that  yeah I'm not sure if you wanted me to say that   but well I'm sure he wouldn't mind he's a  cool dude he kind of still does that icky   though Mount lickey I think he still rubs like  that wow you just wake up and your clits missing stop where'd you go I rubbed it off I'm just  rubbing it in my sleep wow all right we're   ready for the next next call Mount leaky  daddy here we go hi honey soup order here   um I have discovered y'all's podcast maybe two  or three months ago anyways I went back to the   beginning and started listening from the first  episode and I think I'm on episode 10 where   Chelsea talks about her squirting experience so  happy for you Charles squirting is the absolute   best orgasm I'm a professional squirter  and I'm gonna tell you a secret there's a   movie called one billion orgasms and it  is basically a movie about a technique   that can make you squirt and I have tried it on  people that have never squirted before and it is   the most intense [ __ ] that they've ever heard  experience it is amazing I [ __ ] love squirting   I will do it every chance I get I can make  myself do it my partner can make me do it I make   other people do it when we bring people into the  bedroom with us it's [ __ ] incredible and I know   that page doesn't watch that many movies but  this is definitely one you should watch I think   you would learn a lot love y'all so much I love  y'all's podcasts y'all are so funny I get through   my day just having the best time I love you so  much bye oh yeah I love you doll I've never seen   or heard somebody love squirting more ever in my  life she loves to squirt I mean you can tell her   life revolves around squirting she [ __ ] eat  sleeps praise squirt she and that's wonderful   because I've squirted and it was good  would you want that every day that cleanup   uh there wasn't much of a cleanup that well I  don't think Molly you know I did I did a little   bit of malt leaking well she's the [ __ ]  neighbors over maliking the freaking she's   got everybody in the neighborhood she's inviting  co-workers over to montlicky she'll be like hey I   can make you squirt come over come over after  work going through driving and I would do it   I know hey have you ever squirted dude if I had a  friend that goes listen I love squirting and I can   make you squirt even if it wasn't a sexual thing  I'd be like I'm gonna come over to squirt show me   how to squirt show me how to squirt come hither  I know it's like what what is it so what's the   secret she said watch the movie we need to watch  is it a porn it's about nerves I think I don't   think it's a we need to always look it up we will  add this to our list of uh movies that Paige needs   to watch what was the movie called write it down  it was a thousand orgasms a bit like more than   that like a billion right we'll listen to it back  one billion orgasms one billion malt leakies one   billion malt like uses one billion trillion more  lickies either I think half the people listening   have already turned this podcast off by  how many times we've been said malt leaky   and the other half want us to say it a  hundred more times all the people that   left have malt leaking yes and all the people  here don't yes yes they still have a mount leaky   yeah but it's not in the icky y'all why is that so  [ __ ] funny because it's dumb every time it said   because I died it's stupid and it means nothing  why don't you can start adding the combos it's   a good time oh it's wonderful we've we have been  saying it non-stop dude I'm shaking in here it's   pretty cold oh I went up the thermostat was on 69  I nudged it up a couple wow you did mm-hmm maybe so sorry about that all right we're ready for that  next call baby here we go hey honey Millie here kind of stories and stuff here and there um but  all right it's four o'clock in the morning I'm   on the way to work and I'm currently in  my field um just to give you all a little   hindsight of where I'm coming from me and my  ex for a few years split up two months ago   I miss it's been pretty hard uh truthfully I  did it wrong um but I I love her very very much in fact um not being around with her anymore   she has two beautiful kids that  I got to grow really close to   and it sucks waking up every day and I'm not with  them and I don't get to see them anymore and uh   I don't know I just uh I don't really know  why I'm calling I I know I [ __ ] up and   um you know that's the reason  we're not together anymore   but it's like what do I do all  day I think about her and her kids   and uh you know I still have her location and  you know I go straight home because I'm so   disappointed in myself after work I don't go out  and do anything I don't see my friends I don't so   good do anything because I can't really distract  myself from thinking about her and it's like I'll   see your location and she's out places she's  at the bar and it's a nurburg some random house I just miss her a lot and  I know she's listening so   I just want you to know that I love you very much and I love you guys this podcast because you know   the whole time that we've been split  up I just listened to the outside and   it makes me feel better and I was  doing all day long so I just drive you guys and I've been I  miss her so much but you know anyways that's about all I got  for you if you have any advice   help me out a little bit thank you oh  yeah sounds like you got that morning that's what I was gonna say dude I thought  that earlier and I didn't do it and you   [ __ ] did it and you're [ __ ] up  and you're and you're going to hell and listen listen to me listen it had to listen I thought I can either take this  call seriously because he was being serious but he   then as soon as he said I'm a fan and I listen to  you guys always I go if I say he's got that malt   licking that icky he will [ __ ] appreciate the  laugh from that he's got to he's got to because I   mean I had to get that out I was about to burst if  I didn't say he's got the ball licking no I'm glad   you said it earlier when he called he did a little  pause and now um he said because she said I got or   something and I said that malt licky and I didn't  and you [ __ ] just kidding you had to I had to   um he said oh yeah too so what he did so he  had to sounds like jealous he sounds like he   probably cheated or or did something that  she didn't viewed as a crossing the line   um oh man I I can hear the you can hear  the regret and the disappointment and the   pain in his in his voice and his heart and  his soul you can hear it unfortunately she   it does not matter to her you cross something  and it sounds like she no you know she knows   what she deserves and what she's putting up  with and you can't be mad at her for that   no I mean you can try maybe I don't know if you've  tried to go back or how hard you've tried but like   if you show her that you're serious if you know  she still has feelings for you you really have to   [ __ ] prove it that you're you're not gonna mess  up again you're not gonna disrespect her because   it takes a lot when people hurt you to just get  over it because you don't want to get hurt and   go through that again so at least you're not some  idiot punk guy who who like uh you know like yeah   you can like we can sense the regret in your heart  yeah you can totally see you understand your wrong   doings right right and you know it sucks man you  built a life with this woman and her kids like   it sucks and you know whether she is gone for good  here's the thing you got to learn from this [ __ ]   and whatever happened whatever you know you gotta  do better next time and I know you're thinking I   don't I don't want there to be a next time I want  her like it sounds like she's moved on she's not   putting up with whatever happened yeah and you  can't you gotta respect her for that as much as as   painful as that it is for you and as much as you  don't want that you have to respect her for that   and it's hard too when you you know she has kids  you can't just keep bringing in and out a guy   that your kids also have created a relationship  with because it can take a toll on them just so   I'm sorry man I hope it's not healthy to watch her  location don't do that oh oh yeah that should be   clicked off right that makes it worse for you I  wonder if she knows you're still if you're still   on there probably not yeah yeah turn that off  that will get you your mindset a little better   when you're constantly checking and oh she's at  some random dude's house then that's all you're   thinking about all night yeah don't watch it  no yeah for sure he should just shut it off to   where he can't see where she's at anymore yeah so  just do a little click agree I agree it's so hard   like you know relationships change uh [ __ ] up  regret and peace the whole bit that's the thing   people I mean whatever what any I'm not talking  about him and his specific thing but people just   do stupid [ __ ] people [ __ ] up we're all  humans we're just we're just dumb don't be   so hard don't be so so hard on yourself I mean I  know that you you regret it or whatever but yes   that's what I'm trying to say pretty much so get  rid of that malt icky where that maoriki and uh   I hope the days get easier for you honey thank you  for calling in thank you for being vulnerable with   us a couple more wipes you'll be on your feet you  know and this is uh this pod is you know yeah we   laugh we have fun we also love taking serious  calls and if you just want to get something off   your chest you know like like you said you I don't  know I'm just in my Fields right now I just wanted   to call in we appreciate that you know because I  guarantee you there's gonna be a lot of a lot of   men and women that you know do have malt Lakey  do you have malt leakies are going through what   you're going through have been there like it's  all relatable dude it's all relatable it is so   you can seriously just learn so much from it and  your next relationship or whatever just know how   you felt and just don't [ __ ] up again and you'll  be on your way exactly thank you for calling in it   sucks that you have to get up for work so early I  feel so that too I feel so bad and guys have been   calling about heartbreak yeah for it's not just  you no yeah y'all keep calling in you know even   if we don't get to your call or we don't get  to listen to it or whatever you if you've got   to call an event or something call us all right  we love you thank you for calling in love you   do you guys like looking cool at parties but don't  like drinking like us well get everybody fooled   and drink liquid death that looks like a beer but  it's water Gotti when I first saw a liquid death   I literally thought it was a tall boy and then  somebody said it was water and I was like what the   heck I literally was like water from a can this is  the weirdest weirdest thing I've ever heard of man   I popped the top and I have been liquid death in  myself for a while now probably years and they're   not just a water brand they also have iced tea  and flavored sparkling water why are they called   liquid death well let me tell you okay because  they're tall boys will brutally murder your thirst   all right are you thirsty guess what they gonna  quench that [ __ ] okay and guys recyclable cans   okay they're bringing death to plastic bottles  plastic bottles aren't even recyclable okay   they just go to landfills I've tried the teas  and the flavored sparkling stuff but honestly   I just like the basic the basic water one it's so  refreshing and crisp some people are really weird   about like not drinking certain like water brands  because it has a weird taste this stuff is crispy   and you can even drink them while you're pregnant  you can pretty much drink them anywhere so you can   literally Pop a Top while driving down the road  okay and once you fall in love with liquid death   like we did dude they got merch you can rock their  merch like they're supporting this podcast so you   know they're cool dudes you can find liquid deaths  healthy beverages on Amazon or at a retailer near   you and the viral podcast listeners get 20  off their first liquid death apparel purchase   available exclusively at liquiddeath.com viral  exclusions May apply that's liquiddeath.com viral   hey Honeys me here so at first being called a  rock sucker for me I was like yeah I'm not a   rock [ __ ] yeah is there something better ma'am  but now I know that I don't [ __ ] rocks but I   am a rock sucker love you all so so much keep  doing what you're doing you guys are the best   um love your honeys oh yeah I'm glad she found that out because yes I  would say like 98 of the audience doesn't [ __ ]   rocks of the rock [ __ ] being a rock [ __ ]  is uh is a way of life and not only in in the   sense that you need to [ __ ] rocks it's  it's a Vibe and it's an energy and it's   and it's how you view your life and how you're  going to take over the world and it's how you're   going to take over the world and help us take  over the world hold on what I'm sitting in this   middle chair what you got a fart yeah oh put  your mind down there okay ready yeah put your   mic on your ass it's gonna be Maggie sitting in  a middle chair good job Maggie just be careful   it's it won't race oh [ __ ] get it as close  as you can that'll work here we go here we go dude it's [ __ ] funny dude you got that malt leakyness keep that metal chair over there oh that's funny I don't I don't smell nothing because I'm wafting  it oh it does stink I'm sorry like what uh corn   chips or something like that like uh nachos  Fritos tortillas Nachos Bell Grande or Fritos   Fritos wow those aren't bad I got that Molly  you got that malt licky in that icky you got   that Frito dip damn okay well I can't all right  um we're happier Rock [ __ ] honestly we're happy   you're a rock [ __ ] dude it's just so cool just  the group and the this whole thing and how it's   came together three podcast Studios and people  have stuck with it from the [ __ ] beginning   yeah we appreciate you guys all the TDS the  technical difficulties all the team meetings   team meetings the fighting the you name it  dude we've done it y'all really stuck with us   we appreciate you guys I think Maggie's new  chair hasn't come in that's why she's sitting   in a metal chair I think you need to sit in  the middle chair every [ __ ] show I know wow I can't believe how loud that was oh it's a  metal chair it's the metal chair and the multi   kinetiki yeah and those shorts yeah they're like  plastic yeah they're plastic shorts couldn't have   been a more perfect combination for what we needed  yeah I know I had to cut y'all off and stop what   you were saying do it every time anytime I don't  care if I'm in the middle of I don't care I don't   care we need a malt licky button you need a malt  licky mic yeah so we can all just go fart in the   one malt leaky the mic and then we're not like  um all eating each other's asses but then when   you hit that button everybody knows it's coming  well your mom's house did a fart cam fart Mike   ooh they did so they don't do it anymore but  they did they used to do that got your bit   got your segment stole your segments well  everybody farts we've always we've always filmed   our farts to put them on the Internet oh yeah yeah  come on I've been farting since 2016. no earlier   then farting on cameras okay on camera clarify  that well if you were born in 93. no Nani I was close um yeah so you got anything else you  want to say no okay we're ready for the next call   hey honey so I'm just thinking I was reading this  thing the other day that Cleopatra invented the   first vibrator by using some angry beads she put  in something like I think it was a gourd I'm not   100 sure but then I got thinking whenever you  hear about like old-timey inventions it's always   somebody famous like a queen or dictator I'm  wondering did those people really invent that well   did Cleopatra see some other chick doing it and  she was like you know what that [ __ ] just got a   good idea I better go ahead and take credit for it  when I can anyways just wanted your thoughts yeah   that's true is Cleopatra she goes I'm Cleopatra  and I'm a whole lot of woman or what's that huh who says that you're talking that's about  Queen Latifah no God maybe that's from   uh what's that what's that movie oh Austin Powers  from Austin Powers we're talking about Cleopatra   the real one I know I was just saying is that I'm  Cleopatra in my whole is that a saying Yeah Austin   Powers okay yeah um sorry there you threw me off  with that one you really threw me off that one   um Cleopatra is a real like what Egyptian  Egyptian princess um you're right first off   before we get into who created what let's talk  about this she created a vibrator with angry bees   first off I'm not gonna lie very clever and it's  probably such a Good Vibration to be sending   through your [ __ ] body the fact that she was  like hmm I need someone I need something that's   going to move around on my [ __ ] obviously  electricity hadn't been invented yet the fact   that she was like we got any animals that buzz  around and a solo cup and a solo cup or something so just chop the bees in there and just let  it lay because you know they weren't getting   satisfied back in the day no no no no the  the [ __ ] and ball Stitch alone is enough   to make you not want to have sex well what  about touching it I mean you could just rub   it yeah that's true well she got some  angry bees to do it for which is wild   she just got bored I mean we can just go to you  know Adam and Eve or go get a you know they had   really had to work for their nut we should  do that one day we should have a freaking   um dildo competition or vibrator who can count  come up with the best vibration you can't you we   have to use household items household dude my mic  sounds muffled they all sound muffle to me that's   why it's hard to talk they all sound muffled  that's why I yeah but before we started running   we all recorded and did like a a quick little like  five minute you know just to see how it sounded   and she played it back there and it sounds great  so it just may be our earphone I don't know but to   me it sounds muffled that's why Maggie was talking  I was like it's hard to talk because I can't even   hear myself yeah no yeah okay we'll figure it  out it's just confusing me when I'm talking I'm   so sorry about that guys sorry about that I do  love you so like right now I'm like where am I   okay well you're in the podcast Studio oh yeah  okay first off yes we need to do some sort of   um household item vibrator competition we  have not forgotten about top tier the top   tier Tang competition we haven't we will do  this everything is in the back of our heads   we're telling you we should do it in August  when it's extra hot outside Jesus Christ this   is the moisture [ __ ] a stitch we're gonna be  able to wring out our panties panties I don't   even wear panties I have none on right now  it's rare for me I haven't wore underwear in   years so how are you gonna do you're gonna wear  them though I'll have to or you could just hand   over your shorts we need underwear because we  need we needed something a little closer to the   yeah yeah but listen we're still doing this we  have not forgotten about it we did the waxing   thing that's over with we still need to do the lie  detector test we will get all this done I'm we're   taking a couple weeks off I'll be in La for three  weeks I moved and Greg out here so once we do all   that and get settled we have not forgot about top  tier tank just know that okay so we'll do that so   um to answer her question I honestly think  like those people like [ __ ] she probably   had so many like servants and people working  for her she was probably the first to use it   but do I see her going out and handling bees and  putting them in a little you know she probably had   somebody do that for her so she probably takes  credit for that she probably had a bee farm and   then there was some on her counter and she just  got a little hook of the edge of the counter and you know like vibrations and frequencies they  say like 528 Hertz is a frequency that should   um just make you happier uh lessen your anxiety  there's a bunch of stuff about frequencies oh   I never heard none of this yeah so I bet  and and B frequencies to be like healing   huh that's interesting so I bet  that's healing for your [ __ ] yeah   yeah I'd like to knock one out right now it's been  a while a b nut because everybody's been over here   yeah and I just haven't been masturbating a lot  like I usually do yeah you've been off yeah I have   you're freaking vibrations just your [ __ ] sucker  used to be looking crazy used and next to the bed   stand now I'd rarely see him you don't ever see  it I couldn't tell you where it is right now   it was in your suitcase when we went to Chicago  okay I don't even think I've unpacked I caught   the dogs no did you get it from him yeah you what  Kevin was over there licking on it ew the crust   Jesus Christ I didn't know this why do I feel  like a piece of [ __ ] even though it was out   of my control it was just laying in the floor  in your suitcase it's not like he was licking   you you still but y'all listen I don't want the  dogs licking my [ __ ] rubber gotta keep it put   up put it higher where it was my backpack or  my it was in the suitcase open on the floor   well get a suitcase down well I'll do better all  right love you honey thank you for calling in hey honey um just wanted to call in and give you a  merry [ __ ] pill oh so uh Mary [ __ ] kill   Sonic Whataburger and Five Guys  oh recently let's do a part about   how Chelsea doesn't like in and out  and honestly Sam in and out is not   worth the hype yep so anyway Honeys uh yeah  let me know which one you uh would marry   [ __ ] and kill I feel like I want to be pretty  difficult I can't even make a decision right now   all right love you Honeys oh yeah oh yeah that's  an easy one for me you go first because I I think   I feel like it's an easy one for me too yeah but  I want to explain my you go ahead yeah so for me   I will [ __ ] Whataburger because I don't need  it all the [ __ ] time it's a good here and there   in pages of vegetarian so she's eating fries at  all these places keep in mind yeah but Sonic I'm   gonna marry because those pretzel twists dipped in  marinara I had one this morning dipped in marinara   no I use the cheese that's all I get when I go is  the pretzel twist so good don't sleep on it and uh   what else I'm gonna kill Five Guys gotta [ __ ]  Five Guys hmm okay all right well um and I got   a story about the Five Guys dude but I should I  don't know if I should tell it you should tell it   but hold on let's answer that you should  tell it but let's do this keep in mind   for Whataburger I'm going just based off  Burgers I'm not doing breakfast Whataburger   breakfast is my favorite they're burgers  and okay here we go I am [ __ ] Five Guys for what oh oh that's what my brain does when I'm  eating a Five Guys burger well it does it for you   oh God the meat the bun the cheese it's probably  the best burger in the world like the quality oh   my God and Five Guys you go and get a meal burger  fries drink it's [ __ ] 25 and it's worth every   penny the burger is so good I'm [ __ ] Five Guys  I'm gonna marry Sonic because they got all the all   that drink selection we love our Sonic drinks the  ice we love the pretzel twists we love the coneys   and the get the cherry limeade add sweet cream um  add extra ice and I'm going to kill Whataburger   I'm gonna do it that was my exact  thought really they're done but   okay yeah so that's what we're doing that's  what we're doing yeah that's it fight Mary   kill so what about your story about what about  who just saying so the Five Guys um one of the   oh gosh I'm not one of the dudes who's like over  it uh-huh what'd he do he's like hey uh I wanna   take you guys to my Steakhouse I I don't eat  meat but I was like whatever he decides yeah but   he wanted me and Brett to go there on Valentine's  Day and so we go there and he's the dude was like   I want you to come here if you just post about  it whatever I'm gonna take care of you hold on   hold on hold on it's in Park City did you know  did he message you on Instagram did you know him   was this random yeah message me he just messaged  you on Instagram yeah sorry he goes I'll pay for   everything and then we get there he's telling us  about the most expensive [ __ ] stuff on the menu   and that's what he told Brett to get and whatever  and then at the end the dude brings up a check   for to pay and I'm like [ __ ] you guys I'm  not posting about [ __ ] like you don't and   it's not even about that I don't even care about  paying but it's just the whole principle of it you   don't invite somebody to your restaurant and say  hey let's make a deal I'm gonna do this for you   you know hold on did he go with you to the dinner  or no no he was just there and like came up hey   and like met me met Brett and like told us the  most expensive [ __ ] how much was the bill gosh   I don't even the the steak alone was like I think  around [ __ ] dude 200 bucks yeah maybe like one   of those big Tomahawk states can I say first off  that's my dream I've never ever ever had anybody   say hey come eat at my restaurant for free free  if you post about it I would [ __ ] die I would   oh I'd be like I'll be there in five minutes yeah  for dinner like and that was the steakhouse and   then I go in there and Jake Paul's sitting there  and his girlfriend um whatever at the time Erica   that's when I did like the fake fall and [ __ ]  so at least I got a video out of it but I'm like   every time I hear the word Five Guys I know that  he owns like all of the [ __ ] five guys and that   whatever so I'm just it's just a click I would  have been I'll probably sets I'm ma'am I may not   have said something I was just like whatever but  it was just weird to me that that would happen   interesting he wanted you just to come in and  buy stuff and po will come in post about it so   I'm sitting there posting all this [ __ ] because  back then I would just post like yeah where I was   in the moment yeah so I've already had probably  20 stories up by the time that check came got   me he got he got your ass good but the fact he  came over and said yeah I would get this this   wow did you delete your posts no I was just like  you know what [ __ ] it like whatever it's just   weird funny wow and how why would you do that  to somebody yeah he got your ass Gotti because   what if he was in the back going well what if I  was somebody who couldn't pay yeah you know like   a 400 bill or whatever the hell they expected uh  yeah yeah and obviously I would still tip yeah and   take care of the server now if it was just more  of a job than uh I get what you're saying for   sure if somebody invited me in for a free meal  to post or whatever I would absolutely do it   now sometimes I will go to restaurants on just on  my go and there there's been several times where   either the manager or the owner will come by and  they know who I am and they're great and then at   the end they'll be like oh it's on me and I will  not let that I'll say no absolutely not like I   won't let that happen I'm like I came in here  this was not pretty like I came in here to eat I'm   not I I especially if that's if it's a little Mom  and Pop Shop I'm like I'm not paying like I'm not   paying it's like no please it's on I'm like no you  don't understand I'm not walking out here without   paying you that's a really big deal to me so but  if some [ __ ] rich guy owns a steakhouse is that   coming for a free steak [ __ ] I'm sticking the  T-bone up my [ __ ] and all those five guys I mean for a [ __ ] Burger drinking fries   yeah oh wow that's interesting yeah very so hmm  okay there's that interesting story wow love yeah   um also there's a lot of and I'm not gonna say  too much here there's a lot of um take talks going   around about John Mayer because you know Taylor  Swift's coming out with her speak now Taylor's   version so it's kind of did an uproar of John  Mayer and every time I see that [ __ ] no what   did we we haven't ever said I know I'm not gonna  say it oh I told you I'm not saying it okay calm down dude my heart just dropped my ass   I just said I'm not gonna say it  okay every time I see him though I just wish we could go I just wish we could shout  it dude just scaring me we got dirt on this [ __ ]   oh yeah we need a shovel for that yeah   yeah lip tree so anyway that's so anyway uh did  I scare you there I'm sorry dude she was like   no no and nothing don't think anything bad no we  should probably even cut this whole part out no   no even like don't think nothing like happened  it's nothing you know we just you know [Music]   got a little tea we do got a little tea and it's  not like oh we heard something no no this is   directly from the horse's mouth so all right next  question you guys our next partner has a product   I use literally every day and I started taking  ag1 because I was sick and tired of bringing a   giant five gallon liter Ziploc bags you know full  of vitamins and multivitamins and probiotics on   the road honestly it was a hassle to to bring  with me everywhere I went I feel like ag1 is   a One-Stop shop baby it's so easy to travel with  I've been taking ag1 for a couple months now and   I've noticed a drastic change in my energy level  and I just feel great throughout the day and my   poops are solid again okay you know I've talked  about this before I've got some gut issues it's   probably you know the shrimps the shrimps with  one scoop change your poop listen you're absorbing   75 high quality vitamins minerals Whole Food  sourced ingredients probiotics okay and adaptogens   this special blend of ingredients supports your  gut health your nervous system your immune system   your energy recovery focus and aging it's really  good and it's easy to get down I struggle getting   a lot of things down but ag-1 is not one of them  you see something green you're automatically no   no this stuff tastes like vanilla and I better  know what you're thinking whoa this probably costs   a fortune y'all it costs you less than three  dollars a day and you're investing in feeling   good that's cheaper than getting mocha latte every  morning those are like eight bucks right now it's   time to reclaim your health and arm your immune  system with convenient daily nutrition it's just   one scoop in a cup of water every day that's  it no need for a million different pills and   supplements to look at for your health to make it  easy athletic greens is going to give you a free   one-year supply of immune supporting vitamin D and  five free travel packs with your first purchase   all you have to do is visit athleticgreens.com  viral again that is athletic greens.com viral   to take ownership over your health and pick  up the ultimate daily nutritional insurance   hey guys I love your show I've been  been binge watching it ever since   um I've discovered it I was listening  to episode 79 and it just reminded me of   a couple years ago I never knew the term almost  [ __ ] myself until it happened to me I was   driving to work and I literally I thought it was  gonna happen and I was gonna have to turn around   and go home and change and I've I finally made it  to the gas station I get all the way in I make it   to the girls bathroom and I pull the pants down  like I didn't have time to put toilet paper down   and all of a sudden I hear a man's voice going  man man we're cleaning in here you need to leave   and I begged I like I was homeless in tears  I was begging him and he just would not stop   so I pulled my pants back up and I walked out  and I'm looking around and I'm pissed because   there's no sign up there's like the cleaning rack  thing but there's no sign up so I open the men's   bathroom there's three men in there one is a very  older gentleman and I will never forget the look   on his face because all I could all I could  mutter was he won't let me go to the bathroom   and they just kind of look at each other and they  start stepping out and there was another gentleman   I could tell he didn't speak English but he was  like looking at another cells and he like nodded   his head and went out I was finally able to use  the bathroom and I was just I was so scared the   whole time that another man was going to come in  there or something and looking back on it I'm like   you know if I was if I didn't have any didn't eat  I would have went out in the hallway and I would   have just popped the squat and made him clean  it off the floor or I kept telling myself why   didn't you just go ahead and use the bathroom he  didn't have a sign up what would you do honestly   what would you have done it's easy to say oh yeah  I would have just I just took [ __ ] right then   and there but I don't know like it just I've never  knew that term like I always thought it was just   an expression but I don't know what was going on  that morning and it's so embarrassing but at the   same time I was so mad I just honestly  what would you have done in that moment dude oh [ __ ] uh if I was in that situation I   probably would have opened up the saw if I was in  this predicament gonna nearly [ __ ] I'd say sir   I'm going to [ __ ] my pants right now  and he wouldn't say anything he would   have turned around and left no if your pants  were down if my pants were down and I was in   the stall whether I was standing or setting  doesn't matter and he said man we're cleaning   sorry about you my pants are down sir I'm [ __ ]  I'm squirting I'm squirting [ __ ] right now   like I would not I and I'm sure she was trying  to be nice and respectful I don't care dude your   pants are down and you're in the stall yeah  say wait wait till you have to clean this   you know what I mean the smoke leaky's gonna be a  clean up no looking at icky no the fact that you   were in the stall and he made you leave like they  always or they should stand at the door and wait   till everyone's out and then put up a you know  right at the sign yeah for real if there's no sign   no cone no no sorry I'm [ __ ] it's open yeah you  can't walk in there and say that man that's weird   to be knowing somebody's in there in the stall you  don't do that no because what's gonna happen if   you [ __ ] it's gonna be waiting for you like you  know oh you're getting it you're getting fine no   you can't do nothing I'm gonna be waiting outside  the bathroom oh I wouldn't even be able to [ __ ]   if he was oh I can [ __ ] in front of anybody  I guess when that did happen to me though I   did [ __ ] my pants in my car yeah you did [ __ ]  your face so yeah yeah I didn't make it but yeah   if your pants were down sorry I'm [ __ ]  that's so cute though the other guys in the   men's restroom she ran into the perfect set yeah  they were like damn she needed [ __ ] she needed   to [ __ ] quick let's get out of here they read  the room mag you already know what you're gonna   say if your pants are done you're [ __ ] you're  [ __ ] you're [ __ ] now and Maggie can rarely   [ __ ] she's [ __ ] [ __ ] yeah no if you now  if you're walking in and he's in there like man   we're cleaning okay then I'll you know I'll  be like okay yeah in the stall pants down no   actually pisses me off that he had the nerve to  say something to you go wait until she's done   yeah you were a couple seconds too late and you're  right there's nothing he can do no what's he gonna   do imagine uh so I I was gonna [ __ ] my pants  and he said he goes and get security Security's   like ma'am no I wonder how she was begging I was  begging him can you imagine someone's begging you   to [ __ ] and you're saying nope nope get out  not today that guy was on a power trip yeah that guy was on a power trip on something damn for  sure well he probably wasn't even working there   stop what if he wasn't stop we should just do that  as a prank go into stalls and see who's willing to   get off the [ __ ] and leave ma'am ma'am damn dude  have you seen those tick tocks where people can   like just walk into a movie theater with a ladder  like you can just go anywhere with a ladder they   have like on like a like a paint like they're  like a maintenance maintenance guy and they'll   just walk into it like they'll just literally  go into a big movie theater like with a ladder   and people don't walking in and out and they're  like let's go watch a movie and then just yeah   how to watch a movie for free they're gonna  [ __ ] it up to where it's like going through   the airport now to get into a damn movie theater  isn't that funny that's wild yeah I have seen that   it's all about that outfit it really  is all about what you're wearing   very interesting thank you for calling  in Honeys don't feel bad that you didn't   [ __ ] right then and there you were trying  to be nice and respectful and I'll give you   credit for that you were too respectful yeah I  would I would have said I'm gonna sit on these   walls with every word you talk another squirt  squirt and I have [ __ ] on walls before yeah   oh I know your [ __ ] sums up it just sprays up  sprays back dude a certain way I can spray a wall   every time you come over I have to [ __ ] clean  the toilets because it's like sticky it's like   Play-Doh oh what your bathroom toilet it's like  Play-Doh stop my [ __ ] or the toilet your [ __ ]   but the but How are you seeing it I didn't  know nothing about that you're looking at that   I always thought it was Greg but since he hasn't  been here oh like the [ __ ] marks let's move on   let's move on please okay this is the last  question last question of the first episode   in the new podcast studio right yeah oh my  gosh hold on Beth how you doing back there   doing good doing good how y'all muted this whole  time um you guys can't see or can they see they   cannot they cannot um Biffy we kind of had to put  Biffy kind of behind the wall she's got her own   little really nice desk set up where she's got  the monitors and so she's back there she's oh   I'm vibing she's chilling she's vibing listening  to us talk about Play-Doh [ __ ] and uh farting   and farting and uh I'd like to just formally  announce that I am trying my hardest to figure   out this audio you guys I there's a lot of knobs  and we'll get it figured out and I'm new we'll   get it figured out and we'll listen to it when  it's when you download it and stuff and we'll   listen to it it may sound fine it may just be our  earphone who knows we'll figure it out and like we   said at the literally the very first podcast  I think we did Paige we said listen we don't   know what we're doing still don't um still don't  we are learning as we go we have no idea how to   well to be fair when we moved into this new studio  we got all new equipment yes so we literally don't   know it yet yeah so it'll take some time the  lighting will will get better over the next   few episodes everything will just please bear  with us and thank you all for sticking around   with us yeah we're just growing yeah so all right  we're ready for that last call hit it here we go   hey guys Harley here just wanted to say that  to whoever needs to hear it you got this   just know you're damned if you do Dan if you  don't so be you stay weird be kind make someone   smile today y'all got this no-brainer go do it  love y'all bye love you honey that is cute I   think some people probably do need that you know a  little positive affirmation you can't go wrong and   I mean she is right you're damned if you do  you're damned if you don't so just be yourself   and that's all you can do I mean you can't go  around trying to make this person happy because   this person is not going to be happy with what  you're doing and if you try to make that person   happy this person's gonna have a problem with it  no matter what you do I mean could be the minorest   of things could be the biggest of things does not  matter someone somewhere is gonna have a problem   with it damned if you do damned if you don't  you might as well do what makes you happy I'm   still learning every day like people pleasing is  actually not a good thing no because you're never   gonna because you will never be happy you have to  say no sometimes and it will [ __ ] sucks saying   no because you're gonna feel guilty or think  you're hurting somebody but you need to do it   for you and actually kind of be a little selfish  and yeah because yeah it's true you got it though   I agree and I love thank you for calling in  with that little positive affirmation and   um before we sign off and all that um Maggie  was supposed to go get her [ __ ] waxed for   our waxing vlog and she called me the morning of  and said my period so next time we go you going just try it maybe I'm scared well  of course I'm scared every time I go   I'm terrified I'm terrified every time I [ __ ] do  it I really was on my period but I was terrified   from what the it's it does not it's more of a  mental if Brett can do his balls you can do your   lips all I did his balls Maggie and his bacon lip  ass and he goes and he literally goes that's not   that bad so I I think it'd be funny if you went  and tried it and if she does a couple strips and   you're like I can't anymore then that's fine  but think about how strong mentally you're   going to feel if you set through the whole  thing and you're like yeah I [ __ ] did that   could be some ask me closer to time I can't  confirm right now because I'm freaking out   okay oh don't be you know what I'm never  doing again scrubbed at King's spa yeah   yeah dude I'm still recovering my legs my nipples  my arms my I have so many moles they're about all   [ __ ] gone ripped off my nipple was bleeding  and my picture Chad Kroger I have blood marks I   was actually wearing this shirt there was a blood  mark from the chick ripping off my [ __ ] mole you   sure it was bad Chelsea had soaps all over my body  and it felt like it went Boogie boarding seriously   with no shirt hold on can I just say I feel guilty  because when we were in Chicago we had an off day   and I wanted to go to King Spa if you don't know  what this is it's like kind of like like an Asian   spa where they have like a salt room a cold room  a sauna and you go and you spin you can spend   like the whole day and if you want extras you can  get like a body scrub a massage and I love going   and get like going and getting like Korean body  scrubs they're the best I've been trying to talk   Paige into doing it for how long a year two years  a couple years and she's always like no like for   whatever reason she didn't want I don't want to  [ __ ] up my body because I have such sensitive   skin yeah and so it's I've been telling her it's  relaxing your skin will feel ugh it's just amazing   so we went and got scrubs and afterwards Paige was  like in pain she was like she scrubbed me so hard   she scrubbed me so like it felt like she went  over my nipples 12 times with the cheese grater   and see they don't touch my nipples I've never  had my nipples scrubbed she probably just you know   since I don't really have much boob there probably  thought it was just part of my ribs or yeah   little pink she thought your nipple was a mole  yeah because I have a mole on my side she was   probably confused so now I feel bad because  it's like damn I've tried talking you into do   it for two years you finally do it you had a  horrible experience but when we were there I   was like should I do it you're like you don't  have to and I'm like oh I I just should but   because we were there but maybe King Spa wasn't  they were so rough dude just know it's usually   not like that oh it's amazing yes I've had it at  other places it's the best thing I've ever done   relaxing you feel so good after usually you  feel like smooth and just relaxed it's the   best there's no there's no Korean scrubs here in  Nashville and I oh I'm like yeah it hurt kills me   that there's no scrubs here in Nashville so  that's how good it is and so now I feel bad   don't feel bad dude that was my choice but the  other thing too I want to shout out is those   um scrubbers they're using yeah are the those are  just cutting in everybody's skin like that and   then open wounds one to the other well they're  supposed they're supposed to switch those out   but you know sometimes they forget I think they  forget sometimes oh my gosh I don't know I don't   know what they're doing you know I just lay on the  table and Chelsea got a really good massage yeah   I had a great time oh my gosh so if you've ever  had a spa rob a happy ending um anything let us   know and thank you for coming back and if you're  tuning in and like the new studio let us know   and don't forget to check out monthly merch  drops we still do those sometimes if you guys   like a design so much and it sells out quick  we will rehab that design for the next month to   give you a chance or even months down the road  so be able to look at it we had a merch drop   um last month it sold out super quick people were  kind of upset they didn't get they didn't get to   uh get their their merch we had a little wait  list and we've just now so now this month is   the shirt that people sold out last week yeah so  um by the time this comes out it may not may be   sold out I don't know go to valorpodcast.com get  your T-shirt check out the Instagram the viral   podcast anybody have to say anything that was the  last call right I think I've said what I needed to   say I'm sad to leave yeah well we'll be back in a  couple weeks oh yeah he's right we're gonna take   a couple weeks off you guys and um have a good  break from us if anything happens call us at yes   four four two seven seven three three  three one and always remember you're   doing great you're looking good and [ __ ]  what everybody else thinks get ready ready [Music]   oh [Music]

Channel: The Viral Podcast

Views: 71,681

Keywords: Comedy, Chelcie Lynn, Paige Ginn, Flowers, Standup, Phone Calls, Theo Von, Music, Viral, Podcast, Puppys, Summertime, Taylor Swift, viralpodcast, Improv, Fails, Trending, Episode, Studio, farm, Beats, Love, Friendship, Relationships, Advice, Funny, Laugh, ComedyPodcast, Laugh podcast

Id: sclk-iDQ2KE

Length: 93min 13sec (5593 seconds)

Published: Wed Jul 19 2023