The Truth About Long Term Relationships | Romesh Ranganathan

foreign [Applause] I do I do try and spend quality time with my wife right um and I think based on what I've said before I went off there I probably need to my wife and I we we watch we watch TV together that's what happens isn't it when you start off in a relationship your quality time means you're going out and you're doing all sorts of stuff but I'm at the point where you just sort of exist in the same room I mean like you like you know Paul I was a marriage guy that's going great you know last night went a bit of quality time we both sort of sat in the same room and looked in the same direction for about four hours it is wonderful man I mean we didn't really talk to each other but it was just magical to sort of be in the same space you know and really sort of just enjoy each other's air you know we're sort of sitting there both looking straight ahead never communicating it was just you know so nice neither of us left the room at I mean I went up to go to the toilet I I needed a piss I pretended I needed a just to have a longer break to be honest and the toilet thinking what could have been I mean I could have ended up with someone I really loved and to be a sort of compromised on my dreams because I don't want to die alone and then you sort of think okay well let's get back to the living room and carry on the merry dance towards Oblivion so thanks very much for asking um anyway we'll watch TV my wife likes X Factor she loves X Factor and I'm anti if I'm being honest with you first of all I don't think we should be chasing dreams I don't think I should be encouraged this idea of chasing dreams it's not what life's about life's about compromising and waiting to die that's what life's about X Factor it's all about chasing your dreams and it pisses me off right and they try and make it Noble to to become a singer it's not Noble I understand if you want to do it fine if you want to be famous fine but don't pretend it's Noble they attach Back stories to it try and make it look like it's more than it is you'll have some guy going oh you know the thing is I I just you know I really want to make it through because my brother's got cancer and he said like one of his dying wishes would be for me to make it through to the live rounds and you know and I think wow that is incredibly Noble because I'd sort of naturally assume that one of his his last wishes might be to get better you know it is willing to sacrifice that so that you can make it through to Louis six chairs I mean it's pretty impressive everything my wife likes is gogglebox so any fans of goggleboxing sweet you should be executed I I I cannot believe this program exists man it's the dumbest I've ever seen in my life as I'm watching it I'm feeling my intellect dissolve like a Baraka just cannot believe this program is it's the first time also the advert for open up the curtain see if I could see the four horsemen the apocalypse do I mean are you we're watching people watch TV are you me are you on my face we're watching people watch television and it's a thing wow no wonder I just want to get us man on that alone yeah do it mate we watch gogglebox take us out it's the fact that imagine if you're making a program that was difficult to make a TV show that was difficult to make and then it's been beaten by gogglebox in the writings how you would feel imagine if pour your heart and soul into some drama you spent years working on the script you know you work on it you polish it you put it out there and then you go right let's see how it's getting on you know you say how's the drama doing in the writings well it's doing all right why what's it being beaten by well it's been beaten by some people that are sitting watching the drama well I punch myself in the face repeatedly mates that's basically what this process has been the biggest thing I've got about it is that it changes my wife's expectations of how we should watch television right because of the way gogglebox are they're like having a laugh and then suddenly my wife thinks that's how we should be I know how we watch TV just in your pants like Jabba the heart just did often the screen goes dark you catch your own reflection you're like you now that's how you watch TV right we're watching gogglebox and they're like Banta Banta Banta Banta my wife are turned to him why is it not like this why is it not like this when we watch TV I'll tell you why it's not like this because we switched on the TV so we don't have to talk to each other I mean that is behind a television I think that's what was invented to be honest I've got my phone here your third in line in terms of my level of attention [Applause] it's not my wife's fault that she stirred in line so she's not as interesting as a phone and I'm not saying that as a slur on her neither are you none of you is interesting I neither am I some have you been looking at your phones while I've been on I don't blame you they're very addictive the rest of you just been going can't wait to check my messages because phones are incredible they're amazing right they're the most important things to us who's an iPhone user in here [Applause] phone user in here all Android phone uses Pricks like I hate them man I hate them they think they're part of some sort of alternative lifestyle these guys they're so smart they think they're part of some sort of underground movement these Pricks they're saying you've got an iPhone no I think I'll make up my own mind about what phone am I thank you very much I'm not a sheep you know Off the Grid you have an unplugs from The Matrix because you bought a Samsung all right it's a massive company it's not a little family-owned business two brothers salmon song [Music] [Applause] this is a massive company you're not better than me my wife gets annoyed because she sees it as a personal insult that I prefer looking at the phone sometimes looking at her so we'll go out we've actually got proper quality time arranged I mean like Andy's got the kids [Music] we're sad table having a meal two tables down there's a couple they're both looking at their phones my wife starts getting super judgmental just looking across like oh my God look at these two look at these two look at these two come out just looking at their phones what is the point what is the point of coming out if you're just going to look at your phones they know they looked at each other not looked at the menus I don't know isn't that a shame isn't that a shame isn't that a show I just honestly honestly 10 minutes I've been watching these for and they're just looking at their phones what a waste of time what's the point coming out have you seen this Ramesh Jonathan [Applause] have you seen these two looking at their phones but they're just looking at their phones the whole time isn't it a shame no it isn't they're having a much better time than us right they're streaming on in their entertainment you're shouting my name like a nut job I think the thing that I find the most annoying about Android phone users is the fact they love they love talking about the battery life on the iPhone it's like a hobby for these guys I imagine you're looking for a plug point what's up you day and a half still on 37 percent she calls you thank you [Music] let me tell you something the ship battered off on the iPhone is the best thing about it right because I've got no willpower when that runs out then I'll interact with my kids I'll be sat down the part with my kids and I'll be like oh let's run out I suppose I better see where they're going with those old men [Applause] thank you

Channel: Romesh Ranganathan

Views: 95,137

Keywords: Comedy, Romesh Ranganathan, Comedian, Romesh, Ranganathan, Irrational, Live At The Apollo, Stand up Comedy

Id: ZlvUF9iMB6Y

Length: 9min 37sec (577 seconds)

Published: Thu Sep 21 2023