The Spokane Completely Improvised [Full Set] | T.J. Miller

[Applause] okay more delays yeah I know you came out I know you're down here oh my gosh thank you for taking a break to the lake let's come hang out so we all the way to the court today good where is that he's out [Music] what do you do there huh I could have an AR-15 I take down 30 or 40 Deer at a time some might just washed tile hit him in the back there I looked him in the eyes and go Idaho [ __ ] what do you think about that 6 45 [Music] man Spokane Spokane your homeless are a different type of outdoorsy Congress saw a guy in a Patagonian to pick here he's passed some other homeless guys like are we still on foreign most of them have a soundtrack do you notice that can somebody explain that why every third homeless guy has the speaker and he's just jamming out as he doesn't own property he's stuck in enjoying the [ __ ] weather you know what I mean dressed in three coats in summer I don't [ __ ] it yeah listen R Kelly who gives a [ __ ] you know what I mean who cares who cares I'm homeless I'll listen to what I want to listen to I can separate the artist from the [ __ ] music okay we're almost in Spokane goddammit Quarter Lane homeless person in Kodaline and he was playing the harp he's asking for Franks does anyone have any special pranks it's so silly silly thing I really want to go though I'm serious somebody asked me you've been to Coeur d'Alene I said no not yet oh my God they're astonished it was upsetting they were upset oh thanks dude get out of the bus here uh Waits uh [Applause] [ __ ] out of here [ __ ] spoken at you and serve me she saw the land she was like oh my God you haven't I said no because she's like the Lake's amazing it's beautiful and people have been talking it up you know it's running because some guys it's actually a really big city we have like 50 000 people I didn't say anything I just went for sure it's fun it's beautiful I looked at pictures I'm excited I'm gonna go if I was staying extra yeah I'd go tomorrow right who hears from Quarterland [Applause] potatoes they're always carrying a bed of potatoes in their trucks and killed it in so funny today we went to the car heart you guys got quite a Carhartt this is Carhartt [ __ ] you guys do Carhartt [ __ ] in Spokane you can't you do it everybody here hunts everyone right you guys are you're [ __ ] this is [ __ ] Outdoors your creative by Nature your your nature adjacent you're always in nature it is amazing here you feel bad when you're inside when it stays like this yeah it's just want to be outside in every moment that you're not outside you're like God what the [ __ ] is going on get trapped in this situation I'm a slave a slave to get the dollar I swear to go out there we discovered today what I think it's really funny which is that um and then I'll finish my observation about the homeless just let me rip my way back to it uh it was really funny because for the first time we found out that you guys sort of have this bubbling everyone's cool here I love everyone from Spokane is one of my favorite cities that I tour to I get along with every single spoke night and I'll come across are you one yeah I get along with you I like it you're not a real knee slapper when it comes to laughing and you have your hands like this during a college show [Applause] s thank you now you're laughing because I'm talking about you and all there were his interests lie I love you if I found out today that there's sort of a bubbling receiving underbelly running through everyone that's kind of how do I how do I describe it we saw this guy today and he was his wife recognized me into the corner we started talking to him he's like Spokane is pretty cool right man and I was like yeah it's awesome he's like it's kind of a jam you know what I mean it's kind of a Hidden Gem people realize it's like a big city small town feel you know what I mean but we got like half a million people you know it's just like but it's great you got the outdoors it's like how'd you how'd you find out about this coffee place somebody tell you go here and now it's like no no we just kind of sound like oh this is the best coffee it's the best coffee in the pack Northwest I think you're gonna love it dude bring some home take some home to your girl I'm telling you man you love this stuff it's gonna be great and I was like cool man thanks he's like yeah we've got a great music scene great comedy scene you know you're really gonna love the audiences here man and I was like thank you so much like a lot of people think about Washington State can you tell me by this time I wanted to leave you see that I was done talking about Spokane he seemed like I was kind of like well tell me more I never said that I didn't say that I didn't apply that I at no point did I just look at him and go foreign [Applause] [Music] are you [ __ ] vaccinated bro tell me right now I got three AR-15s bro one of those my grandma she handed it down to me [ __ ] it's just right there bubbling and right then and there I was like all right cool man I'll see you later I don't want to be involved to this energy and all he's like yo yo yo can I get a picture I was like yeah if you can take it from over there dude there oh man it's so funny I just love that it's like underneath you guys are all like okay he's like I'm close enough to Idaho to taste the freedom like he was implying like Idaho is truly free they have all the potatoes they hold all the chips literally they hold all the chips I can't believe I just thought I can't believe that that's amazing that's a moment where I'm like because you just picked that up Idaho has the best freedom because they hold all the chips none of us can snack without them and they [ __ ] know it bro I'm saying bro I don't know why I don't like it I hate people that say bro I hate it and it's so funny Jesus God it was just great though man it's even that guy I like I'd go shooting with that guy for sure you know he's got some illegal [ __ ] you know or even it's just like all right you want to shoot one where I scrape the serial number off I [Music] shop well today oh [ __ ] that's so funny Spokane you're also just as a town you're functioning alcoholic you guys know that you're an alcoholics not drugs Philadelphia will be like we're huge drinkers man we get [ __ ] up like Wisconsin we'll be like dude we drink beer all the time we're just [ __ ] kicking back beers non-stop huge drinking State man you guys are like we have a problem and we choose not to address that is that clear because that is an option okay I have to stand in front of a group and be like hey I'm so and so I listen to my terrible stories you can also just break [ __ ] black out and [ __ ] keep on going you ever thought about that you ever owned the possibility of that you can hold down a job and every month has a couple people be like dude you got to slow down and then you don't okay you can Spokane or you can smoke and not but either way your Spokane dude that's our [ __ ] attitude so can't do it's true every business the name of it reminds you that they have alcohol it's like Burgers and Brews we also have Brews Tony's Pizza and wine there's wine in here okay you have an establishment called soups and Spirits do you understand that to understand how that looks insane to anyone who doesn't live here do you guys understand that you don't seem to you're totally okay with it no one passes by there and it's like I think that's a problem situation you know what you're [ __ ] here for so come on in Daddy can have three martinis and yes and then he has to go home and get up early tomorrow for work but you can sleep it off come on in mushroom cream soup try our chowder 1.50 beers get in here get in here and get [ __ ] up now I can't believe you guys think that's okay and Spirits I mean you might saw a place to call like appetizers and alcohol I mean realize seriously finger food and [ __ ] Moscow Mules by the gallon this girl up front I said my past couple I was really going she goes make sure you know I'm in favor of that you hear that all present okay well I'm president heard good these Champions give you a [ __ ] bill card John and Phil with Moscow mule called 18 bucks and call it a [ __ ] day I love it here really too it's amazing be incredible to live here and just have like eight beers at 11 A.M I have no one blank an eye no one the bartender is never like I think you've had enough and thank you bartender is here like you just got ahead of me this is my Spokane outfit [Applause] you should not wear this it's only for Spokane I could be on my way in Spokane I can be on my way for like a light hike or to a wedding but this is my Grim swear and all my groomsmen have exactly the same outfit but a different color plaid shirts and they're wearing different Carhartt boots there you are climbing Calvin Klein in here come on buddy bring that [ __ ] in here you're doing real Calvin Klein [ __ ] foreign [Music] it's just a look here you know there's like a couple of looks but that's it it's like this guy and then like kind of younger kind of dress like me without the vest and just like quite a few piercings but have you seen these kids just have like two nose piercings and I'm like calm down my nervous I don't care about karaoke don't have a strong opinion about it oh yeah some people hate it some people uh sorry this guy about the pandemic and I was like the worst was the lockdowns you know because I don't know if you guys know but there are lockdowns across the country there's a little sniffle going around it was killing elderly people or as you guys put it thinning of the herd from Washington State in Eastern Washington State they all have their time you know that's that's the spokenite way oh my God I'm sorry about that lockdown I was like those were the worst the guy goes oh I know he couldn't do anything I mean you couldn't do karaoke that's the first thing he said no like eating out with friends or seeing your family just couldn't do anything I couldn't even do karaoke like I like karaoke I guess but no point never once during the pandemic did I even stop for a moment to be like oh damn this virus all I want to do is be in the brewery every third Wednesday and then that's still not Billy Joel don't stop the music I think it's with somebody over here said is that true so if I just as I did that nobody heard of that guy over there was like Don't Stop the Music just stop believing okay I won I promise I won't stop believing try and make me you won't be able to because neither of us know what I'm going to continue believing in okay and so then my uh my friends and by then I mean my wife's friends wanted to go to karaoke I like doing that one because there were guys in the audience they're like don't don't do that I like Brad we would be friends even if our wives were friends I think it's fascination with frisbee golf is cool so he went okay cool we'll talk after the show meet me in the alley a lot of people in Spokane hang out in alleys downtown notice that you guys also smoke cigarettes that just isn't happening right now I don't know if you guys know this but you gotta say no one's smoking cigarettes here you guys are just popping away foreign smoke-free area another reason says coming soon we haven't figured it out yet trust us trust us it's coming so there's going to be a place where the [ __ ] [ __ ] can't smoke okay I've also the perfect billboard in Spokane I'll get back to the karaoke thing okay just listen to me for a second there's there's a billboard that is perfectly spoken hyped it really is because what towards it it's like right a couple blocks away and it's like no lie right is that a brewery here yeah and I feel like I've heard it's pretty good beer I haven't had it but it's like no I it's got a bandit on the billboard with the kerchief over is this bank robbery he's robbing a train soon you know give me all your gold right and then it goes there's a bounty on [Music] it oh boy if I see a bear with it I'll be like I Know Who You Are foreign [Applause] [Music] there's a billboard that says Can't Stop uh using alcohol alone call this number and then beneath it it goes if we're doing experimental treatment if you're willing to do it a lot of you can do it for free so that's what you're saying you're like can you absolutely not stop using alcohol alone you need help from other people well it's not a rehab place or like anything like that it's only come we'll help you stop drinking it's like wait we got this idea we're gonna give you a pill and it'll sort of make you only have seven Pabst Blue ribbons you physically won't be able to have an eighth pass Blue Ribbon it's killing about 65 of people that's it there's the two sides of Spokane two sides the same spell coin yeah I didn't like that one either it was clever but it wasn't funny I'm sorry I'm sorry if I'm making this all up sometimes I'm going to say something where everyone's like come on man absolutely not it's the best one can I get a couple shots are we at that point do you think he lost track of time because I'm having so much fun with you guys for such an excellent audience well did you make Friday first show look like [ __ ] garbage that audience was trash can you tell him I said so if you meet somebody in court again we're going to do this weekend so I drove in a ctj but I can go oh yeah what's up first up right I heard you were [ __ ] trash TJ told me to tell you so um hi how are you we've really done this week we never talked about this but introduce yourself to everybody I'm Hannah you know for Hannah everybody [Applause] it's a palindrome I love that and then what do you more importantly what do you think of this audience they're [ __ ] awesome you guys are [ __ ] awesome [Applause] this is like it's just like [Applause] this is the type of audience that'll tip a little bit extra because everybody in here tips that are five bucks five dollars that's no skin off your back but if everybody tipped another five dollars more than would that make your week everybody come on [Applause] uh Hannah can you bring me a hot sauce and peanut butter the joke's on here and you'll see why okay so I went to um so I went to karaoke and it's totally different now I hadn't done it so yeah we're back uh it's okay it happens I mean HD so it's okay thank you oh wow look at this what is this thank you Hannah is this my own proprietary hot sauce that I sell after the show yes Who's laughing now no I'm serious I love Hot Sauce hey you say are you kidding me I'm telling you don't stop believing it okay can you believe it buddy I've got it I have hot sauce I have peanut butter okay so three levels of heat I have Chipotle which is Smoky okay then I have extreme gangster heat that's for the Calvin Klein [ __ ] you know exactly what you're doing tonight [ __ ] it with this hot sauce and uh for the pepper heads out there this one's called [ __ ] intense ghost pepper type [ __ ] it's got my face on the front of me like [ __ ] [ __ ] yeah I love peanut butter so much that I have my own line of peanut butter it's the best peanut butter that you'll ever have in your entire life I'm telling you you know why because I have three different flavors okay dark chocolate coconut that's for the ladies yeah chili chocolate which is real dried cherries milk chocolate and honey roasted peanuts and then my favorite toffee crispy with toffee milk chocolate and Rice Krispies one guy over there goes shut the [ __ ] up man is he serious is he [ __ ] serious so if you want to buy those out for the show nobody needs a t-shirt nobody needs another t-shirt there's so many women in this audience who want the man they're with to get rid of t-shirts true every girl just like why don't you just get rid of this one this one's free that's why I'm keeping it okay sass in the room tonight [Applause] yeah you're a wonderful wonderful audience I did have to check my watch because I'm having so much fun I have to decide was that it's a fake watch sure just keep believing okay yeah you've been such a wonderful problem oh sure I like you I'm serious sometimes there's real like efforting issues you know with other people you're really evening out his uh yeah he's counterbalancing the lack of enthusiasm and young children hospitals of nature but it's just pretty funny right do you guys want to stay for the second show we just kick the two of them out and take two random people something audience is waiting until the rest of them sorry you're not going to be able to compare get out of here go back to children and to get passionate about seven layer dip that's true okay you're into it even he answered me he goes [Applause] is he a mild man or an individual mild manners get it buddy I love a mild-battered man [Applause] I love a guy who walks into that party or something and the way he greets people is just like Bill Sarah may I use your restroom thank you you better not have any Xanax in there [Applause] if you do I'm stealing that [ __ ] you don't even need Xanax you're blind you take a pass somebody like you win some Xannies and you're like I'm fine [Applause] you must be a trick at the subway I would love to go to a Subway with that guy I would love to go to a Subway with you uh wheat tuna tomatoes Jesus olives [Music] thank you green peppers [Applause] no onions thank you well and vinegar salt thank you pepper carbon may I use your restroom and there better not be any Xanax in there because if there is I'm stealing that [ __ ] [Applause] that's great oh come to the end of the show you guys have been so absolutely fantastic yeah usually I don't say that I think you've been great What's Your Name by the way what is that out of our TJ [Music] thank you [Applause] I really appreciate you Adam secure pretty mild man or God because you see we have a lot in common so he goes honestly no honestly not at all [Applause] why do you think I'm liking a Subway green peppers of it I mean we're doing a great beat again [Applause] yeah that's free oil and vinegar in my eyes get it everywhere did you cross a lot to see Castle on her yeah because he does you do yeah yeah yeah yes okay that would be really weird it'd be weird to see tell you the truth you're coming on stage [Applause] he's a gentle giant I don't tell James here this time [Applause] so we can all I just want to bring it through it down goodness tell everybody you know say like uh very very promising Spokane yeah yes so no offense any of you guys okay but I just want to know how you would say man just say the sentence man [ __ ] who are Delane [Music] good job [Applause]

Channel: T.J. Miller

Views: 50,382

Keywords: t.j. miller, comedy, tj, miller, tj miller, t j miller, standup, stand-up, film, movies, television, silicon valley, HBO, deadpool, cloverfield, office christmas party, how to train your dragon, the emoji movie, gravity falls, she's out of my league, underwater, chelsea lately, erlich bachman, erlik bachman, erlich, bachman, funny, laughter, joke, actor, standup comic, spokane, The Spokane Special, Spokane TJ Miller, Full Comedy Special, Comedy Special, Full Special, improvised, improv

Id: ScWcpOZgaYU

Length: 34min 36sec (2076 seconds)

Published: Tue Oct 03 2023