The Problem With Short-Term Relationships

let's talk about the most Troublesome possible thing so that would be women so it's very frequently the case for me that if I say anything about how young women might conduct themselves so that their lives would turn out uh less than dreadfully let's say that's when I get the most costic and like vicious YouTube comments Is that real no AB absolutely absolutely it's the opposite for me well let's let's delve into that well you're a female talking to females and so that has something because the co comments that come my way are often variant of something like what's this old white guy doing telling us what to do with our bodies it's like well I meant more in that when I talk about I talk about both genders obviously but when I talk about men and what I think they could do yeah that's when I get the most fital I see okay okay so there's probably just a cross- seex thing going here I'm sure okay so you're 23 you're married 22 22 sorry to oh I don't know why I thought you were 23 now I'm I'm making you older than you are 22 you're married yes you have a well-developed career yes okay and I presume you're relatively pleased about both those things very pleased um do you have plans for a family yes how soon I would love it as soon as possible how are you going to manage it um it's been a lot of what we've been working through right now my mom is going to move to be near us yeah which I'm could not be more grateful for um and my husband truly turned his life upside down turned his career upside down to make sure that he could be flexible for our family so that he could balance when I am traveling or when he's traveling for work then I can be at home but he is running his own business now which I think he had always wanted to do and then when we started dating and got really serious I think he realized like this is something I want to do for our family I think it pushed him in that direction okay and so why did you decide to get married so young um I guess it's not you know by historical standards it's not necessary that current standard how old is your husband he is 30 okay okay okay so all right all right so you married someone who so the the optimal Gap between men and women for age cross-culturally is something approximating four years right so women prefer men who are older this is something to keep in mind when you're looking at I think when you're looking at the political opinions of men and women young men and women I don't think the right groups to compare are men and women of the same age I think the right groups to compare are women who are four years younger than men and see where they're headed right because well for the reasons I just laid out the peers of young men aren't women their same age or older their peers are four years younger I completely and so my suspicions and you're talking to because you're on YouTube you're talking to a lot of young men but I think first of all where the men go the women will follow I think that's how things work fundamentally and I completely agree with that Gap and then I think ours made sense you know being a little bigger because I you know owned a home I'm you know already had graduated college I was at sucess stable career and so in terms of our stages of life we were completely compatible and on the same page as well as our values and where we were emotionally and the things that we wanted in the timeline that we want um but I chose to get married because I believe that it is the best foundation that I could have given my life I think as well why not why not single free sex in the city girl no I'm dead serious why not that I mean you the opportunity right yeah it sounds just awful it sounds lonely because I crave companionship um why not one person after another then what's the meaning in that it doesn't that's not diversity have no desire for it I wanted to get married do you think that there are women who have a desire for that I'm sure Noel are you I'm not so sure like I'm not so sure I think that they tell themselves that they do but I don't think that intrinsically we're not wired for that I mean if you go back to I was talking about this on my Show recently if we think of anthropologically biologically men are designed to be able to sew the seeds to be able to go around they can have as many children with as many women as possible women you know it takes nine months to grow a baby we have one egg every month and it's like we are we protect that um but I think just from that very Primal point of view we are intrinsically designed to seek out one protector that I should I should offer a correction to that characterization of men I think that's more radically true of immature men than it is radically true of immature women and I think the reason for that is the reason you just outlined which is because women pay a way higher price for sex that even if they're immature they're not going to be Ed as far in the direction of short-term mating strategy let's say um I don't think that's intrinsic to the male nature I really don't I think it's a I think it's intrinsic to the immature male nature and here's part of the reason I think that so I studied antisocial criminal behavior for a long time like 15 years a long time especially in terms of its development across the lifespan and so one of the correlates of delinquent antisocial and then criminal behavior for men is multiple early short-term sexual partners right so it's Associated specifically with a Criminal bent interesting well there's more to it too so imagine that there are some men who are tilted more towards long-term relationships and stable responsibility let's say that goes along with that and there are some men who are tilted more towards love them and leave them short-term you know excitement oat sewing um uh Hedonism okay well we know the personality characteristics so the personality characteristics of the men who preferentially prefer one night stands they're dark tetrad types they're narcissistic it's all about them even though they don't haven't done anything to deserve it they're Psychopathic so that makes them predatory parasites they're MCU valan they use their language and their actions to manipulate for short-term benefit and they tilt towards sadism and so I think all things considered as I said immature men and immature women they tilt tilt towards hedonic immediate gratification it's a Hallmark of immaturity but and so there will be more short-term maters among men because women are punished brutally for their sexual misbehavior but thinking that that's an intrinsic part of masculinity that's a mistake it's not it's an intrinsic part of immature masculinity it's a much better way to put it right it's definitely a better well and this is something young women need to know because when they're allowing themselves let's say to be exploited sexually they're facilitating the dark tetr right they're facilitating the Psychopaths the narcissists the maans worse they're facilitating the sadists and so why not have a short-term relationship with a man who's interested in short-term relationships the answer is well is that the sort of person that you want to be associated with yeah [Music]

Channel: Jordan B Peterson Clips

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Keywords: psychology, philosophy, Jordan B. Peterson, Jordan Peterson, JB Peterson, jordanbpeterson, jordanpeterson, personality, understandmyself, selfauthoring, neuropsychology, jordan peterson clips, jp peterson clips, jp clips, jordan peterson podcast clips, jordan peterson live, jordan peterson livestream, jordan peterson shorts, jordan peterson tiktoks, jordan peterson motivational clips

Id: 6pshTvEqVns

Length: 8min 30sec (510 seconds)

Published: Tue May 21 2024