The Perfect Guy | Romantic Comedy | Full Movie

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I was always obsessed with the stars. There's Canis Major, Orion's loyal dog. Over there is Leo. He's named after an ancient lion whose hide was impervious to spears. They used to say the beasts in the sky would come visit Earth to intervene in our lives. I know. I don't believe it either. ♪ Sunny ♪ ♪ Yesterday my life was filled with rain ♪ ♪ Sunny ♪ ♪ You smiled at me and really eased the pain ♪ ♪ The dark days are gone ♪ ♪ The bright days are near ♪ ♪ And my sunny one shines so sincere ♪ ♪ Sunny, one so true ♪ ♪ I love you ♪ Ooh! Nobody volunteers on Mondays, Emma. It's my therapy. Right, Ajax? Hey. Hey. Hi, handsome. Oh, I love you too, Summit. - I love you too. - [whines] I love you so much. Why don't you just adopt them? Luke's crazy allergic. Well, you need a new boyfriend. ♪ Now I feel 10 feet tall ♪ ♪ Sunny ♪ ♪ One so true ♪ ♪ I love you ♪ I'm finally ready to show you. I'm calling it NightSky. It's genius. It's gonna make millions. ♪♪ [somber guitar] Trust no one. I guess that's the lesson. Oh, no, not you. You, I trust. Look, I know that this might seem kind of sudden, but if you're willing to move to San Francisco with me, I'm ready to make a commitment. Okay, you're adopted. [laughs] We just have to find a place that takes pets. ♪ We're on the phone at 2 a.m. ♪ ♪ Can't keep my mind on school ♪ ♪ I simply don't know where it goes ♪ ♪ 'Cause all I see is you ♪ ♪ Always on replay ♪ No! ♪ Falling for you ♪ ♪ La la la la ♪ Hey there. Whoa. Look at that. ♪ You know I do La la la la ♪ ♪ I'm falling Buy me a parachute ♪ ♪♪ [fiddling] It's called a yo-yo. Can you see it go up and down? Look. Isn't that great? Down and up. You want to see it go all the way around my head? Wait, hold on. Whoa. You see that? Yeah? Okay. Don't let it hit you. - Whoo-hoo! - Ow! Ahh. [laughs] I'm so sorry. Oh, no, no, it's totally my fault. It's okay. I was dazzled by your awesome yo-yo moves. You're very good. I've never injured anyone before. Here. I guess the rental market's a bit of a nightmare, huh? Yeah, especially if you have pets. I fix things. I mean, I'm helping to bring this building up to code, and I'm pretty sure one of the lofts is available. It's a little rough, but-- Ooh! [chuckles] Look. Diego. He's looking good tonight. My father was a fisherman from the Azores. My mother, a tango dancer from Argentina. I was born at sea, a child of two countries and a citizen of none. [meows] Aww. Come here. Aww, Ajax! No, don't be jealous. I love you. And I love the little white spot behind your ear, your little heart. Besides, there aren't any real Diegos. It's okay. Hold on. Okay, let's go to the desk. Here we go. Hey, I didn't have time to drop them off. I ran late at the Veterans' Home. You volunteer a lot, Orphan Annie. Hey, psst. Better hide Fido and Pussy, Monty's on the warpath. She's wants the beta version of our astrology app. No one sees it until it's perfect. [phone chimes] [chuckles] Oh, look. Guy from the Veteran's Home asked me to dinner. What should I say? The old wheelchair guy? Emma, no, no. Just say no. No, no, it's the orderly, the hot one. Strange. This actually makes sense. What, someone actually liking me? No. It's your Jupiter transit. Do you even use our app? I just write the code. You handle the magical stuff. I don't believe in that anymore. Go ahead, scoff at great minds: Ben Franklin, Plato, Robert Downey, Jr. Do you know about tonight's moon? Yeah, it's a supermoon. It's 17,000 miles closer, which means the migration patterns go... Okay, Steven Hawking. The point is it magnifies what's already in your chart. So for you, that's a quadruple alignment transit. Okay, whatever. Astrology's Greek, Emma. We're talking Gods and fate, upheaval. Okay, theoretically, like what kind of upheaval are you talking about? I'm talking about be careful what you wish for 'cause, astrologically, shit's about to get very real for you. At moonrise, I'd lay low. So what, don't go out? Screw that, go on the date, just get home by 9:35. You're not wearing that, though. You look like Amish Mafia or something. I have an idea. Holy... Oh, my-- Hansel and Gretel in the house. Girl, you are gonna owe me. Here. You get naked in front of them? They never judge me. They're always happy to see me. - Them, I trust. - Careful. You'll end up one of those old ladies surrounded by cats. Cat. I have one cat. That's how it starts. ♪♪ I'm just gonna drop you guys off at home. - Uhh! - Ride much? Oh! [grunts] [Summit barks] EMMA: No! Hey, man, curb your beast! - Are you okay? - [meows] Summit, come back! Summit! Summit! Oh, I'm so sorry. ♪ You are a splendid butterfly ♪ ♪ It is your wings that make you beautiful ♪ ♪ And I could make you fly away ♪ ♪ But I could never make you stay ♪ ♪ You said you were in love with me ♪ ♪ Both of us know that that's impossible ♪ I'm nowhere near ready, am I? [sobs] [sobbing continues] Oh, Ajax, you're so flirtatious. - [Summit whines] - Hey. No, I didn't forget about you. I didn't forget about you. Come here, Summit. Come here. Oh, oh, oh! I wish there were guys out there like you two. Sorry I'm here on a weeknight, Emma. I'm just upgrading the locks. I got the roof done, and now all I have left is the front door. It's okay, Carl. - You okay? - Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks. Have a good night. Yeah, yeah. - See you tomorrow. - Bye. [clatters] Sorry. [wolf howling] [Summit barking] What? Not again! [barking] I got no candy for you, dog! Get away from me! [man barking] Oh, my God! Oh, my God! [screams] ♪ Hey, now, huh-huh ♪ ♪ Hey, hey, yeah, now ♪ ♪ Ow, now ♪ ♪ Hey, hey, yeah, now ♪ ♪ Party on ♪ ♪ Fire ♪ ♪ Uh, uh ♪ ♪ Fire ♪ ♪ It's all, all about ♪ ♪ Fire ♪ ♪ Woo, woo, woo, woo ♪ ♪ Fire ♪ ♪ Oh ♪ Hey, can I have your coat? ♪ And talk really sets me off ♪ ♪ To a fuller love, child ♪ ♪ Yes, it does ♪ ♪ The way you squeeze, tease ♪ Here. You got a little drool right there. ♪ 'Cause I'm smoking, baby, baby ♪ ♪ The way you swerve and curve ♪ ♪ Really works my nerves ♪ ♪ And I'm so excited, child ♪ Hey, what's-- what's this? My name. It's my name and my phone number. Yeah, and you got your address on here too. It's pretty cute. Can you help me find it? Well, you can stay at my house, if you want. That's so nice, but I don't think my owner would like that. Right. He's got you on a short leash, huh? No, it's long. It's one of those retractable ones with nylon cord. Okay. I like it. It keeps me from running in traffic. [sniffing] [distant meow] I have to go. Okay. Hey, Carl, have you seen Ajax and Summit? Oh, crap. Carl, if anything happens to them... Aw, damn it! [sniffing] Ajax! Oh. You might want to take it down a notch if you want to blend in. You know it's me? Yeah. I turned human, not stupid. Let's just say you stand out. Yeah, well, you stand out too, you know. I can smell you 10 blocks away. You might not want to eat out of the trash for starters. Just saying. - What are you doing? - I gotta go poo-poo. No, no, no, not here. Jesus. Watch what people do and then do that. Do you see Emma go to the bathroom in the streets? No. Well, that right there might be a clue. Do you want to go back to the shelter? Oh, no, that was terrifying. [sniffs] Oh, I'm so hungry. Well, we're gonna need some of that. SUMMIT: What is that? AJAX: That is what Emma calls "money." Cash. - Cash? - Yeah. Wait, where are you going? I'm gonna work on my plan. You should work on yours. - What plan? - We're human now. She's only gonna take one of us. I, for one, am not going back on the streets. - But it's us. - It doesn't matter. You can't tell her that. They don't believe that stuff. - But it's Emma! - Not even her. Do you remember on TV when they took Diego away to the asylum? Yeah. That's like an animal shelter for humans. Oh, no. Oh, yeah. And I plan being the one that she takes back. I'm getting back on that velvet couch, human or not. Aw, I miss that velvet couch. It's so soft. But why can't she have two people? Because they don't do it like that. It's either a man and a woman. Or sometimes it's two men or two women, but no threes. But she doesn't know what you look like, so would she take you back in? I'm gonna woo her, like on TV. Remember, we know her secrets. Okay, if she can only take one of us, why are you giving me tips then? Because frankly, you need all the help you can get. - You got no people skills. - I have people skills! - People love me. - Whatever, man. Hey, Ajax. He's pee-peeing. Right out in the middle of everywhere. [sniffing] You had asparagus. [sniffing] Ajax! Summit! Come here, boy! Come here, pup! Oh, Nina warned me. She said "upheaval." Emma, I'm really sorry. I just don't know what I would do if anything happened to them. Is there any place they might go? Any place you usually take them? The park. I'm cold, I'm cold, I'm cold, I'm cold, I'm cold. I'm cold, I'm cold, I'm cold, I'm cold, I'm cold, I'm cold. I'm cold, I'm cold, I'm cold, I'm cold, I'm cold, I'm cold. [knocking] - Hi. - Hi. I just thought-- That's a great idea. [grunts] You here for the audition? ♪♪ [tender guitar] [no audible dialogue] - [thud] - My ankle! [groaning] You need help. You want me to go run and get you help? Or how about some barking? [barking] Oh, no, you're in pain! Where are people when you need them? I know where I can take you. ♪♪ [electronic] MAN: Okay, next in line. [cameras clicking] ♪♪ [snarls] Oh, my God. I can see your face. [screech] [growls] Cha-ching. ♪♪ [mandolins] Hey. I'm Kyle. We need you to train us, please. What, you mean like to sit and heel? That's all I know how to do. I don't know the advanced stuff. Listen, man, we will roll over if you want. That's the hardest one. It's all timing. We can only pay you 50 bucks each per session. To show good faith, we'll pay the first session in advance. Cash. People skills. So what time and which track? - Sunup at the park. - Which park? The one with the pink fountain and those really nice trees. North side, Golden Gate Park. It's got the wading pool? Yeah, that's it. That's the one. They also have Frisbees. Frisbees, right. What's your name? Summ-- Sam? Yes. Sam. Twenty years in the business, and I've never seen anything like this. Every photo is cover quality. I never did get your name. It's... Diego. Diego what? Just Diego. [chuckles] That's perfect. Tell me, Diego, where are you from? My father... was a fisherman from the Azores. My mother, a tango dancer from Argentina. I was born at sea, a child of two countries, a citizen of none. Fascinating. Diego, we'd be very interested in repping you. - You want to be my owner? - No, no, no. We know you may have had bad experiences in the past, but we're nothing like that. We want to work with you. - Will I get some money? - Oh, yes, in time. Plenty. We'll even set you up with an apartment. - I'm gonna need some now. - Excuse me? I'm gonna need some money now and some more clothes. Oh, okay. I think we can manage that. [coughs] [spits] Oh. You okay there? I'm not a salad person myself. Uh, excuse me. Yeah. Great. That's right. [gasping] Oh, that's good. What is that? Red Bull. My mom says I can't have any. Too much caffeine and sugar. ♪ A million magic crystals ♪ ♪ ♪ Painted pure and white ♪ ♪ A multimillion dollars ♪ ♪ Almost overnight ♪ ♪ Twice as sweet as sugar ♪ ♪ Twice as bitter as salt ♪ ♪ And if you get hooked, baby ♪ ♪ It's nobody else's fault, so don't do it ♪ ♪ Cane ♪ ♪ Sugar ♪ ♪ Cane ♪ ♪ Sugar ♪ ♪ Cane ♪ ♪ Athletes reject it ♪ ♪ Governors correct it ♪ ♪ Gangsters, thugs, and smugglers ♪ ♪ Are thoroughly respected ♪ ♪ The money gets divided ♪ ♪ The women get excited ♪ ♪ Now I'm broke and it's no joke ♪ ♪ It's hard as hell to fight it ♪ ♪ Don't buy it Freak ♪ ♪ Rock ♪ ♪ Freak ♪ ♪ Rock ♪ ♪ Freak ♪ ♪ Rock ♪ ♪ Freak ♪ ♪ Rock ♪ ♪ Blow ♪ ♪ Get higher, baby ♪ ♪ Get higher, girl ♪ ♪ Get higher, baby ♪ ♪ Come on ♪ [sniffing] Don't you love this tree? I love this tree. I come here all the time. This tree and that big oak tree over there. Pigeons! Pigeons, guys, pigeons! Pigeons! Come on! Bye, guys. I'll sniff you later. Oh! Last one. I've been mad at you long enough. You've been great, but I can take it from here. - You're off the hook. - I don't think so. If anyone deserves to have their pets back, it's you. - It's not your responsibility. - Actually, it is. In this case, I literally am the one who's responsible. Where I come from, we take that pretty seriously. Where is that? Where I'm from or where do I live? I don't know. Both, either. This is you? Home sweet home. - It's cool. - Yeah. Come inside. I'll make some more posters. Don't worry. There's plenty of room. Okay. ♪ Just another girl whose heart you've stolen ♪ ♪ You're telling too much, but the volley is rolling ♪ Hey, baby, you looking for a party? No, no, I don't like parties. They're loud. They make me bark. I hear that. I'm just looking for someplace warm to spend the night. Oh, I feel you, baby. You got any money? Yeah, yeah, these guys gave me money, but it's only cash. Come here. Come on. There you go. - Come on! - [laughing] EMMA: Wow! You built this? How do you have power? Solar panels. So you live here all the time? Well, I do a job like this in the city for a month, and then I spend a month doing what I want to do. How do you afford to do that? It's easy. No rent, no mortgage. It might seem small, but when it's parked along the Mendocino Coast with a window open, it feels like a mansion. So, uh, this is where the magic happens, huh? Maybe. I know it's not a normal way to live. Well, I've spent my whole life trying to be normal and failing miserably. [printer beeps] Oh, jam. Come on. EMMA: I have to get going. You want me to bring the rest of these by Wednesday? I have to work. Oh. What time do you get off? - 6:00. - 6:30? Yeah. Sounds great. Bye. I don't even know you! We haven't even sniffed butts yet! Keep it down, cowboy! I can get into that, if it's what you're into. You might be nice, but I can't smell you through that perfume, and it makes me scared, so I'm gonna keep talking louder and louder until you leave me alone! NINA: Was there at least electricity? Amazingly enough, he does have solar panels on that thing. Not what I meant. This guy sounds like a bit of a hippie. And I thought maybe he was a transformation, but it sounds like there's no oomph. No, he's not a hippie, and, I don't know, maybe there was oomph. You need big, obvious oomph in the beginning 'cause there's always less in the end. There's already an end? You hear Monty's introducing our product at App Expo next month. Keynote speaker is Luke Andrews of NightSky fame. Pressure getting to you? Oh, I guess your app won't be ready in time. Maybe you ladies should just give up and start collecting Social Security. Oh. Sorry. [laughter] Bitch! Don't listen to those tools. No, it's not that. I knew him. - Luke Andrews? - Yeah. Maybe he'll help launch our app. I think-- I think I'm gonna-- Ohh. Talk about oomph. Diego, mi amor. ♪♪ ♪ I believe in miracles ♪ ♪ Where you from ♪ ♪ You sexy thing ♪ ♪ Sexy thing, you ♪ ♪ I believe in miracles ♪ ♪ Since you came along ♪ ♪ You sexy thing ♪ [knocking] ♪ Where did you come from, baby? ♪ How could you know ♪ ♪ I needed-- ♪ Uh... Who are you? I'm Emma. Are you the one who lost this beautiful cat? Yeah. You saw Ajax? I'm pretty sure it was him. I mean, those eyes are hard to miss. Where? When? I could show you now, if you have time. Nothing is more important to me than finding my pets, so yes. - Amen to that. - Okay. Um, let's do it. Focus. You want this ball. You need this ball! Go get it! Go get it! What is that? Is that running? That's not running. Pathetic. [grunts] Yes! Oh, two legs? What a terrible idea. Bad, bad boy! Bad boy, bad boy! Bad dog. Bad, bad dog! [dog growls] So are you an animal person? Definitely a cat person. Not so much dogs though. Cats are just so much more... refined. Yeah, I guess with a cat, you sort of have to earn their love. But once you earn a cat's love, you've got it forever. Are you okay? I think I could some water. Okay. Buying stuff. I guess I can make this happen. Dude, where the hell are you? Monty's asking for you. It's DEFCON 4 over here. You would not believe the hotness of the guy I'm with right now. He's like a fourth grade teacher mixed with like an alien. Wait. An alien? I don't know where he came from. He just shows up at my door. That is weird. His hair is perfect, and he's got like a... He's just... He's so hot, and his-- - His name is Diego. - Diego? Wait. Oh, my God. Hold on a second. Okay, does he have the most incredible eyes you've ever seen? Green like almost golden? Yeah, yeah, like golden like a thousand blazing suns. It's like the key to my heart. How did you know? That's him! Dude, he's like this overnight sensation. He's the newest male supermodel. So I give you this, and you give me that. Huh. People skills. [screeches] You know what, I'll call you back. Wait, wait, wait, hey! Thank you for calling. Hi. Thank you. What? Nothing. Now, you've all been good boys, so I'm gonna give you each a treat. Is this like a nutritional bar? Just remember, at all times, I am the alpha dog! [barks] Now, to answer your question, these are the world's best treats. They strengthens your bones, they add sheen to your coat, and they clean your teeth, and that is all you need to know! All right, all right. Tomorrow at dawn. Don't be late. So, Diego, what is it that you do? Diego. I don't really know what it's called. It's just... stuff, you know. But they do have this big aquarium at the office. Pretty cool. Oh, so you like fish? Especially sushi. Maybe we could go to dinner sometime. - Tonight? - Oh, yeah, that'd be great. Where? Anyway, this is where I saw him. He was kinda rolling around on the grass, scratching his back. He was adorable. Yeah, he does do that. Are you sure it was him? After he took off... I found this. Oh, my God. No, that was him. [purring] He thinks he's so smart. All right, game on. EMMA: Damn kids. I have to go now. Will I see you tonight? Your place, 6:30. It's a date. ♪ You look so handsome in that sweater vest ♪ ♪ But a bathing suit would suit you best ♪ - ♪ When you're on vacation ♪ - ♪ Ooh ♪ ♪ Socko, heck no I don't think so ♪ ♪ I just wanna be with you tomorrow ♪ ♪ And the next day and the next day after ♪ ♪ Oh, hey, I just wanna say ♪ ♪ You're looking very fine today and every day ♪ ♪ Made a wish and hoped it would come true ♪ Okay, so that's a double-shot macchiato. Would you like anything else? Ooh! How about a snack? You know what? I would like a snack. I shall have one of those chocolate-coconut cookies. I'm on it. What about you? You're a soy chai latte sort of person, right? - Exactly! - Yeah. How did you know? I don't know. Just a hunch. You just, you know-- I don't know. Something about you. You have a great smile. Okay, I'll go get that. This guy is amazing. Monty's letting me hire him for the gofer position. Does something about him seem familiar, like his haircut or smell? - Smell? - Yeah. I don't know. All I know is that he's worth about ten of those lame-ass temps they sent over last month. He just seems so positive. I know, right? - Usually, you hate that. - I know. But in him, it just seems so... - Natural. - Exactly, yup. Oh, dude, by the way, he came in with one of these flyer thingies. Yeah, you put the work number on there. Did he have any info? Maybe. Honestly I wasn't paying attention because I was thinking to myself, I don't know, Emma is like an idiot savant. You've accidentally created the best man bait ever. He was wrestling with other dogs in the park. - Was he hurt? - Oh, no, no. He was having a great time, and then he ran with the other dogs into the trees. I really miss him. Oh, he misses you too. He's a dog. How could he not? [chuckles] I was reading this article. It said that dogs can sense human emotion better than any other animals, even better than some people, and it said that we exaggerate one side of our face when we feel something. I think it's the right side of the face... It's the left side. Are you sure? Yeah, I'm sure. Trust me. Somehow I already do. Oh, green light. Oh. Oh, my-- I don't know why. I'm so sorry. I don't know why I was being so familiar because I don't normally do that. I just can't help but think like we've met before. I know what you mean. It's so nice to meet you. Oh. [chuckles] [sniffing] Hey, not now. You didn't have to walk me all the way home. Oh, no, I like walking. Oh, hey, Carl. Um, this is... Sam. Hi, Sam. Sam saw Summit at the park. And this is Carl. He's a contractor. He's the one who-- Who left the door open. Oh, I know Carl. I was going to say the one who helped me with the flyers. Oh, shoot. Flyers, 6:30. We were gonna do flyers. Oh, hi, Diego. AJAX: Well, hello. Carl, I'm so sorry. I forgot about the flyers, and I made dinner plans. Oh. I've been dreaming of fish all day. I know that was you with the water! - Hmm? Hmm? - CARL: Right. Well, I'll get back to work. I'm a little behind schedule anyway. You don't have to work tonight. No, no, it's all right. I'll be out of your hair before you get back from your dinner. Thanks, Carl. We appreciate it. Carl, I'm really sorry. - Carl-- - I'll see you at work tomorrow! [growls] Wow. He's fast. So you been working with that guy? Yeah. You guys know each other? Yeah. Screwing around the park and stuff. Wow. The park's really becoming a trendy spot. ♪ Once in a while ♪ Dude, look that's him. This place is supposed to be pretty good. - It got a 4.5 on Yelp. - Oh. Do you want to try some of this macadamia-stuffed chrysanthemum? ♪ ...in so long ♪ ♪ You find yourself ♪ ♪ Asking questions like ♪ ♪ Who am I to be loved by someone ♪ ♪ So beautiful Yeah, girl ♪ You wanna go closer to the fire? We can just move. Why would I want to get closer to the fire? ♪ Maybe it's time ♪ Can I get you anything else? Oh, my God. Are you who I think you are? Who do you think I am? Him. I guess so. - Wow! - Mmm! Just... ripped. Body so tight. I-I have to ask. Can I get your autograph on the menu? Thank you. [gasps] Ooh. [snarls] Mm-hmm. He's selling that cologne, girl. ♪ Who am I to be loved by someone so beautiful ♪ ♪ Yeah, but you make me feel so beautiful ♪ You're kind of amazing. - Why is that? - I don't know. It's like you're seeing everything for the first time. Huh. You're not self-conscious. You don't really seem to worry about what people think of you. Why would I care about that? Well, I'm terrified of what people think of me. Don't be. See, I've met several people now, and you're different. Kind. Generous. - You don't really know me. - I kinda do. How's that? Everything you are, you wear out in the open. How do they say? On your sleeve. Only an idiot would miss it. You okay? Yeah, yeah. [breeze approaching] Oh, that was my grandmother's scarf. I'll get it. Thanks. I don't think I can get down. [siren blares] Come on, buddy, come down. He got up there in like two seconds. Yeah, sure he did. Come on. I don't know. Come on, fella. Don't make us force you down. It's late. Go home with your girl so we can all get some sleep. - Will I get a treat if I do? - Yes! So, uh, this is my place. Oh, my God, this feels so good. It does? Well, yeah, it's velvet. Oh, yeah, I guess I never really pay attention to that kind of stuff. I mean, how could you not? Feel it. Okay. Oh, yeah. No, that does feel... It feels amazing. That feels good too. Do you want to watch TV? Okay. Maybe there's a romantic movie on, if you like that kind of thing. Oh, so that's how it's done. Can I try? Oh, yeah, sure. You don't have a remote? MAN ON TV: He's a Supreme Court justice, you know. [TV channels changing] It's like magic. [birds tweeting on TV] Or we could go to the roof. It's really beautiful, isn't it? Yes, it is. [squeaks] - I gotta go. - What? Yeah. I got a shoot tomorrow. [squeaking continues] - Don't move. - What are you doing? - I got my confidence back on the heights. I only have a thing with trees. - Will I see you again? - Yeah, come tomorrow. Olympic pool, noon. Just use my name. - Okay. - Okay. You really want to make this thing a war? You ever hear about cats having nine lives? Oh, you and I both know that is bull crap. You started this whole thing! Oh, you really think you fooled me with that thing? Uh-huh. Yeah, I do. [laughing] Get the mousey! [laughing] You want to keep it down? It's 1:00 in the morning! Oh, shut up, Carl. - This is all your fault. - How do you figure that? - Don't you worry about that. - You talking for him now? Yes, he is, Carl. Go back to your troll house, Carl. You both are a couple of idiots! You have no idea how lucky you are to have a chance with a girl like Emma, if you stop acting like a couple of assholes! - At least my name isn't Carl! - Yeah, Carl. Out of the bike lane, assholes! Hey, that's him. That's him! Let's keep this between us. [barking] - You! - What? What are you talking about, man? I don't know you! Pull over! Forget it, psycho! Pull over! Get away from me, man! [distant barking] What's the matter? Feeling trapped? Like you're in a cage? Doesn't feel good, does it? You make a habit out of bumping into women on bicycles? Scaring cats and dogs? What are you talking about? You gonna keep on denying? 'Cause that would be a bad idea. Admit it. You bump into them and just ride away. What if I did? What can I do about it now? Apologize! All right, I'm sorry. Yeah, I don't buy it. I think until you're properly trained, you're just gonna keep on mistreating people. And animals! Yeah, and animals. What are you guys, like some militant arm of PETA? Oh, we're much worse than that. What do you want? [growling] Give him your bike... as penance. This is from Denmark. You know how many bitcoins I spent on this? - Now! - Okay! Get outta here! - Okay. - Go! Go, go, go, go, go! And be nice to animals! We'll be watching! It's all about balance. Why are you helping me? Well, while you're annoyingly dog-like, I don't want to see you get yourself killed. Look, if I help you with this, we both go for Emma in our own way now, okay? No more sabotage. Deal. I'm telling you, I don't think I have enough strength to get this thing going. Dude, you have enough strength to pull 10 bikes. You could win the friggin' Iditarod. [grunts] It might help if you take it off the kickstand. Oh, is that what that is? ♪ I look around ♪ ♪ Everything is changed ♪ ♪ Something is gone ♪ ♪ And something's rearranged ♪ ♪ If I ever called you ♪ ♪ Would you think it's strange ♪ ♪ But then again ♪ ♪ You just say when ♪ Okay, so whenever things started to happen-- Happen, yes? Are you serious? [sighs] I'm just another fan. You were saying? Okay, well, I wanted to say, I get the impression that he's not that interested. You are not getting away with that. Details now! No. Every time things started to get going, you know, he was kissing my neck and-- What? Did you shower? Let me smell. - Oh, my God. - No, I showered. Anyway... And, you know, he was pawing around like-- But I-- And then he climbs off the fire escape, and he's like, "I gotta go. I have a shoot tomorrow." That's what I thought. You know what? Superstar problems. Probably never has time for a normal life. He did invite me to the shoot today. What? That's a green light. We're going. No, no, we can't. There's not enough time. It's at the Olympic Pool, and we wouldn't have time to get there and back during lunch. Somebody need a ride? If you guys look in that bag, you'll find a treat. Treat? Coconut Bliss? It's my favorite. You guys want some music? Yes, please. ♪ Here we go ♪ ♪♪ Oh, I love this song! ♪ The moment that you think you've got it all ♪ You make me feel so old. Sam, you are amazing! Thank you, and you smell nice. Sam, I have plans to clone you. Okay. - You're in really good shape. - Oh, thanks. Yeah. You know, I do some running each morning. - Every morning? - Just a few miles before work. Okay, Diego, you're an Olympic swimmer. Where do you want me? In my pants. In my bed. In the middle of the bridge. We have high speed cameras, so when you dive in, we'll catch you in mid-flight. I'll get up on there, but I'm not going in the water. Come on, babe. That's the whole concept. I'm a climber, not a swimmer. Uh-oh. Diva effect's kicking in. Okay, okay, you're breaking skin. Now stand there like you're about to dive in the water. I'm not getting in. I'll go in! I'll go in. What is Sam doing? Who is this person? Yeah, let him go in, man. Sam is not a star. You're the star, okay? I got an idea. How about you simply stand there on the bridge with the ball above your head like Atlas. No, no, no, no. Don't throw the ball. I'm outta here. - Diego, babe! - No. Out there, I'm just not really much of a person. I mean a water person. That's Lapis. It's supposed to help me with my Kryptonite. What's your Kryptonite? Ex-boyfriend. He took something from me that he can't give back, so... It was a past life in Minnesota. Minnesota. It's cold there, huh? Yeah, very. You've never been? Yeah. It was a sad time though. It was a sad time for me too. Well, maybe we're due for some happy ones. ♪ Take a look around you and who do you see ♪ ♪ There's a lot of people here ♪ Oh, shoot. We gotta go. We're late. ♪ Is there anybody that you want to be ♪ ♪ Offer them a beer ♪ ♪ Because you might just find a girlfriend ♪ ♪ Or you might just find a man ♪ ♪ Never underestimate the power of a late-night decision ♪ [drill whirrs] ♪ Just use protection ♪ [screeching] He's so cool. Oh! I did it! Oh, yeah. Someone's in heat. Oh, you're looking good, you little tart. Oh, there you are. Hey. Don't come near me. I'll come to you. Okay. Oh, yeah. That's good. So should we sleep together now? Okay. ♪ Hello, my love I heard a kiss from you ♪ ♪ Red magic satin playing near too ♪ With guys, you can never tell who's a good person or a bad person. Oh, that's easy! Yeah? Like them. They're nice people. And him? Ehh. Oh, they're really nice. - Hi! - Hey. Oh, wait. She's bad. She's really bad. Yeah, I see you. I see you. ♪ Pretty music, I hear ♪ ♪ So happy and loud ♪ ♪ Blue flowers echo from a cherry cloud ♪ ♪ Feel sunshine sparkle pink and blue ♪ ♪ Playgrounds will laugh if you... ♪ - You slept with both of them? - Yeah. Oh, you little slut! Wait, at the same time? No, no, it was different times. And it was just sleeping. Just sleeping? You mean you had full grown, straight, beautiful men in your bed, and all you did was sleep? Yeah. Why? Because it was amazing. And I just felt so loved, and there was no morning-after awkwardness, you know? - Yeah, we'll see about that. - Are you judging me? If you work with someone and then sleep with them, you know what you get? Awkwardness? Bingo. Next time, I'll see them naked. You didn't even see them naked? No. Sorry. [sneezes] - Um, Sam? - Yeah. You want to go make some copies? Yes! What size, what color, what kind? - Uh, 8 1/2 by 11. - Done! Okay. [beeping] Oh, I know. Bad boy, bad boy. I mean, I can't get this bad boy to work. Um, yeah, you know, that thing's a real nightmare. Monty thinks it's time that you meet her and her staff, so why don't we go do that? Okay. Your smile's so shiny. You look as strong as a tree. Oh, you're so skinny. I bet you can slide right through fences, huh? Hi. Monty. Will you have lunch with me? I've never seen the Ice Queen have lunch with anyone. I just hope he survives it. I have to ask you, how did you know that I was sick? - Is it the wig? - Oh, no, not at all. Your coat has an amaz-- Your hair has an amazing sheen. No. I could sense your loneliness. - And the medicine. - Hmm. Well, let me tell you something. Chemo is no fun. And I'm under a lot of pressure here. To be honest, things are not going so well at the company, and a lot is riding on the upcoming Expo with the app. Oh, we're so excited for the Expo! The whole pack's gonna be there. The whole group's gonna be there. Okay. See, the thing is, with my health, um, I'm having a lot of trouble keeping up appearances. Well, then don't. Why? Just be. There's plenty of time to chase pigeons and splash in the puddles. Really? It is so much fun. You can never catch 'em! What is this? Sign of the apocalypse? EMMA: It's Sam. He's amazing. It's like he's psychic or something. I decided I want us to present at the conference. But SkySign has to be better than anything else out there, especially, NightSky. Yes! But let's just consider asking Luke Andrews to help. No. Why not? Uh-uh. Okay, look. First of all, I'm an orphan. [laughs] You serious? - Yeah. - Now I feel like an asshole. No, it's okay. It's all right. I was only calling you Orphan Annie because of all your crazy, sad little boho dresses. You know? Okay, um, I accept your insult-slash-apology. I'm only telling you this because... trust was always an issue for me and... I had a serious boyfriend when I lived in Minnesota. NINA: Son of a bitch! Luke freaking Andrews?! So NightSky was all yours. So what, no lawsuit? No. He had all the evidence, and I couldn't see years in a courtroom. I just kind of died inside a little, you know? Then Summit and Ajax, they brought me back to life. And then... [crunching] [growling] Sam, are you okay? That was my stomach growling. That Luke guy really sounds like he needs someone to discipline him properly. Oh. Would you like some coffee? Ow. I made you this. It's not very fancy, but it's Lapis. Remember? Helps you with your Kryptonite? Yeah, I love it, but I just-- I don't really wear things around my neck anymore. There's this convention next week, and my ex is gonna be there. Ooh, Mr. Kryptonite. I was wondering. Would you wanna go with me 'cause... I don't know if I can face him alone. ♪ Love longstanding hurts so bad ♪ ♪ Sitting here thinking about the good thing that we had ♪ ♪ Reminiscing doesn't make it any better ♪ ♪ I wish that we were back together ♪ Something about this is so familiar ♪ Thought that maybe I would land back on my feet ♪ ♪ I'm crawling now ♪ [purring] - Did you say something? - [coughs] No. Just a frog in my throat. ♪ 'Cause all that's left is the ghost in me ♪ ♪ Now that you're gone, gone away ♪ ♪ And I'm finding now ♪ ♪ It's really kinda hard to know what love's about ♪ ♪ Until you lost it and it's gone somehow ♪ ♪ Yes, it's gone ♪ Do you mind if we call it an early night? No prob. Yeah. [toy squeaking] Oh, what was I thinking? I'll just use the front door. [knocking] Hey. Have you ever thought that you might be losing your mind? Thanks, Carl. No problem. Oh, um, do you have any alcohol? You don't you like tea? No, I do. It was for you, actually. But you don't-- We'll do this sober. Okay, all right. So bear with me. So I have a theory. ♪ Socko, heck no I don't think so ♪ ♪ I just wanna be with you tomorrow ♪ ♪ And the next day and the next day after ♪ ♪ Oh, hey, I just wanna say ♪ ♪ You're looking very fine today and every day ♪ ♪ Socko, heck no I don't think so ♪ ♪ I just wanna be with you tomorrow ♪ ♪ Made a wish and hoped it would come true ♪ And I think-- I think I found my cat! I think I'm gonna need that alcohol. Yeah. Thanks. What are the cherries for, hangover cure? Relieves stress. Do you think I'm crazy? A sane person would say, "You know what? You miss your pets." Yeah. And then these guys come into your life. It's reasonable that there's a certain amount of projection, of transference. - Transference? - Yeah. - I minored in psych. - Oh. I wasn't very good. Turns out everyone I talked to winded up sadder. Good to know. You gotta pinch it hard between your thumb and forefinger. - Like this? - Yeah, just turn your hand. Okay, okay. Hold it between-- There you go. - Yeah? - And then you just pinch. Whoa! Yeah! That does feel good. [laughing] I am feeling better, so thanks. All right, the other night, I was on the porch, and I heard the two of them arguing, and I thought, you know, sounds like these guys have known each other a long time. - Like they grew up together. - Yeah, like-- - Right? - Yeah. - So you think it's possible. - I don't know. Yes! I knew it. - You think it's possible? - It's possible. [Emma laughs] If Ajax has a secret, he's very crafty, so I can see him not telling me. But Summit... I can get him to crack. - Oh, hey! Yeah! - Hey, that was really good! So, Sam, you never really told me where you were from. Oh, around here. Except when I was young. Oh, where were you then? I don't remember. I was so young. But I remember it was snowy. Right. What about your parents? What were their names? I don't know my parents. Is there something you want to tell me? What is it? Your dress is very nice, and your hair smells of fresh-cut flowers. Oh. It's okay. You can tell me. - Tell you what? - [toy squeaks] You want this, don't you? No. Sit. Up. [laughs] I was messing with you. You say sit, I comply. It's funny. It's a joke. [gasps] Do you wanna go for a W-A-L-K? You wanna go for a walk? Summit! [whines] It's okay, boy. It's okay. [whining] You can tell me everything. [purring] You know, this, this is how I found you. I remember. It seems like we might be the only ones who have had this wish granted. Might just wanna give it a try. But how does this work? I mean, how long am I gonna live? Human years? Cat years? What if I said it didn't matter to me? Okay. But I can't have kids. I'm neutered, remember? That's on you. Sorry about that. You go. Oh, thank you. What a guy. "We here at the StarSign App." Okay, and... What are you doing? The conference is tomorrow. Luke is giving the first speech, and I'm kind of freaking out. These cherry pits aren't working. You never get nervous. How is that? Well, as a predator, I don't question whether I belong here. Is it considered a predator if you eat out of a can? Let's just say that there are several mice that you will never hear from again. Look, Emma, you belong here. You're part of the ecosystem. You lend it balance. So claim your space. That's a cat thing. I never really felt like I belonged anywhere. That's an orphan thing. Well... you just gotta feel comfortable in your own fur. ♪ Well, it's funny how things ♪ ♪ To be listening ♪ ♪ To dispassionate men ♪ ♪ Talk about sin ♪ ♪ Funny how things ♪ ♪ Seems like I've been missing out ♪ ♪ With all my clean living ♪ ♪ And it's funny how things ♪ ♪ It's funny how things ♪ EMMA: Own my own fur. Comfortable in my own fur. - That looks good. - [growls] Oh, you're so cute. Okay, I don't think I can handle this. Where's Diego? I don't know. He said he was coming. Oh, he's coming. [sniffing] He's about two minutes out, and he had tuna for lunch. It's the first time I'm seeing Luke since... ♪ Oh ♪ ♪ Watch where you're going, baby ♪ ♪ Oh ♪ ♪ Watch where you're going, baby ♪ Where you going? - Pack-hunting tactics. - What? ♪ Oh ♪ ♪ Watch where you're going, baby ♪ ♪ Are you gonna gonna stand here where you stand ♪ ♪ Like a willow tree swaying Hug the land ♪ Emma Banana Fofana. Mm! How many moons has it been? [kiss] So neat to see you, kid. Emma and I used to be old college buds. I wouldn't call it buds. I used to help her out with some of her little programming attempts. Teach a girl to fish, right? ♪♪ ♪ Where did you come from, baby ♪ ♪ How could you know ♪ Oh, Diego. What's he doing at something as boring as this? ♪ How did you know I needed you so badly ♪ ♪ How did you know I'd give my heart gladly ♪ ♪ Yesterday ♪ How's the most beautiful woman in world doing? Diego, um, I want you to meet Luke. I know what you did. I don't mean to be uncool, but I am such a huge fan of your "Animal Magnetism" campaign. I even got some for Luke here. It didn't really work. Not everyone can unleash their inner predator. Y-You don't happen to have pets, do you? No. [coughs] Got a speech to give. If you'll excuse me-- Ajax. Ajax! No, Diego! Sorry. Habit. Modeling industry, you know. Yes, of course. [sneezes] [applause] Thank you. Thank you. Thank you all so much. You know, part of the reason we had such huge, huge success with NightSky was our ability-- I heard you stole it from someone else. [laughs] Teachable moment here. Thank you, heckler. When you achieve success-- and by you, I mean me, Luke Andrews-- you will find-- and again, by you, I mean me-- that people will occasionally try to adopt your success as though it was their own, but it is not. It's mine. It is Luke An-- Hmm. Excuse me. [coughs] Thank you-- [squeals] [wheezing] [laughter] Okay, I'm sorry about that. I'm just having a bit of an allergy-- [yelps] Excuse me, excuse me. Excuse me. [giggling] No. Can't swallow, can't swallow, can't-- Okay, okay. Okay. Is it hot in here? They're jealous of me, you know. They're all just jealous of me. Especially him! Dang! Bitch got slapped back. Whoo! Hey, if you ever feel inspired, call me. - I won't. - Oh. Listen, guys, I'll be honest with you. That was a complete disaster. However, it's an opportunity because you pull it together, Friday's launch is gonna be the most awesome thing that they have ever seen at this conference. So you know the expression "no pressure"? I want you to do the opposite of that. And you, sir, I must say, I am growing more and more grateful for your presence every day. My goodness! Oh! What a good boy! Okay. I know I said huge transformation, but holy shit. Pets? I know. It's transformation in spades. Makes sense. Beautiful, straight men who listen to you and don't watch football. Too good to be real. Our app works though. I know, right? Okay, I confess. I'm developing a crush on Sam. It's hard not to. There's no mind games. It's only actual games. Well, mostly fetch. Hey, look. There's nothing in this chart that's gonna tell me exactly what's gonna happen, but... But what? Well, astrology's cyclical, and tomorrow's a full moon again. So? So there's a chance that any transformation that happened this past month can change again. Well, I mean, that doesn't mean that they have to change back. - I just don't know. - It's only been a month. When is my next Jupiter transit? Twelve years. ♪♪ [somber piano] EMMA: We worked hard on this app to combine the reality of the stars and the magic of astrology. Tonight, I find myself holding on more tightly to the magic. I just found it again. And I am so, so grateful for every minute of it. I'm not ready to let it go. Thank you all for sharing tonight with us and the SkySign app. [applause] Yay! You did it! Yes! ♪♪ [ballad] ♪ Close to me ♪ ♪ Why'd you have to get so close to me ♪ ♪ 'Cause all that's left is the ghost of me ♪ ♪ Now you're gone, gone away ♪ ♪ And I'm finding now ♪ Hi. AJAX: You're different. How? You're comfortable. Well, I talked to Nina, and she thinks... I know, I know, I know. Sorry. It's animal instinct. I kinda feel these things before they happen. It's the ecosystem balancing itself out. You trust me, right? Yeah, completely. Except around goldfish. Well, maybe it's time you try that again with people. I don't think I can. 'Cause there's this guy who lives in a tiny troll house. Oh! You'd be okay with that? I don't know until it happens, but I was thinking about going stray for a while anyway, sowing some wild oats, metaphorically speaking. Is Summit thinking of going too? Are you kidding me? That mutt lives and dies for your presence. You know who else does? AJAX: He adores you. And you deserve that. Nothing less. I know. He's a human. But love doesn't have a species. ♪ I'm finding out ♪ ♪ It's really kinda hard to know what love's about ♪ ♪ Until you lost it and it's gone somehow ♪ - Cheers! - To us! Yes! It burns so good. It hurts all the way down. - Yeah! - It feels so good. [coughing] - Another one. - This might be my last chance. What do you mean? Keep 'em coming. [howling] I know this song. Yeah? ♪♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, dude! What the hell are you doing? Oh, uh, look, it's a nervous reaction. I've been doing it since I was a pup. She could be anything or anyone. I-I can hump you. Whoa, whoa, whoa! It's go time, asshole! Why does everybody keep calling me that? Hey, I love your mane. That is beautiful. Hey. Hey, my bite... is just as drunk as my bark. Woof! Let's go, doggy. Hey, somebody gave him too much to drink. He can't handle it. This is none of your goddamn business. [woman gasps] [snarling] WOMAN: Come on, let's go. All right, let's get you some air. [vomiting] I don't like tequila. I'm thinking about an early retirement. You know, maybe travel around the world. Yeah. Traveling around the world sounds great. Mm-hmm. I think it's time for the young blood to command. Are you girls game? Hell, yes! Yes. Can I take some time to think about it? Uh, sure. I mean, don't take too much time. I'd actually like to begin the transition on Monday, if you're up for it. SUMMIT: I just started getting used to hands. AJAX: It's been a wild time, huh? You know what I'm not gonna miss though? No. All the worrying and the thinking. Yeah. That part sucks. You know what also I miss a lot? - Huh? - Licking myself. Oh, yeah, I hear ya. ♪ You are a splendid butterfly ♪ ♪ It is your wings that make you beautiful ♪ ♪ And I could make you fly away ♪ ♪ But I could never make you stay ♪ ♪ You said you were in love with me ♪ ♪ Both of us know that that's impossible ♪ ♪ And I could make you rue the day ♪ ♪ But I could never make you stay ♪ ♪ Not for all the tea in China ♪ ♪ Not if I could sing like a bird ♪ ♪ Not for all North Carolina ♪ ♪ Not for all my little words ♪ ♪ Not if I could write for you ♪ ♪ The sweetest song you ever heard ♪ ♪ It doesn't matter what I do ♪ ♪ Not for all my little words ♪ [chimes] - Hey, Carl? - Yeah? Can you just make sure he's okay back there? I'm just gonna try one last time. - Sure. - Thanks. Come on, buddy. Come on. Here we go. Attaboy. Ajax! It's been so long. Are you out there? If you are, it's your last chance to come with us. I really wish you would. [seagulls cawing] [barking] [laughs] [barking continues] - Summit is in heaven. - Yeah. It's really beautiful here. You all right? Yeah, yeah. I'm just gonna go get some iced tea. You want something? Uh, sure. [scratching] Carl? Carl, come help! - You all right? - I heard scratching. [gasps] Oh, Ajax! Hi! Hi, buddy. ♪ Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ ♪ We're all looking for someone ♪ ♪ That perfect girl ♪ ♪ Who can take your hand and help us see the world ♪ ♪ But I'm a little unusual ♪ ♪ Because you see ♪ ♪ I seek a different type of thing for my romantic fantasy ♪ ♪ And I must say I'm looking your way ♪ ♪ And you seem to like me, baby ♪ ♪ And you give me all the signs ♪ ♪ There's just one activity on my mind ♪ EMMA: Did we leave the TV on? DIEGO: My father was a fisherman from the Azores. My mother, a tango dancer from Argentina. I was born at sea, a child of two countries and a citizen of none. ♪ Do you wanna do something with me tonight ♪ EMMA: You guys! ♪ I'll put on my finest sweatpants ♪ ♪ And I'll order you pad thai ♪ ♪ We'd be living our dreams ♪ ♪ As our love grows ♪ ♪ What an intimate occasion ♪ ♪ You and me and HBO to moonlight ♪ ♪ So wrong, yet so right ♪ ♪ So say you want it, darling ♪ ♪ 'Cause you know I want it too ♪ ♪ And there's just one thing that I wanna do ♪ ♪ Do you wanna do nothing with me ♪ ♪ Do you wanna do nothing with me ♪ ♪ Do you wanna do nothing with me ♪ ♪ Do you wanna do nothing with me ♪ ♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪ ♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪ ♪ Let's talk it through ♪ ♪ In case you're confused ♪ ♪ 'Cause I know it gets crazy ♪ ♪ These things I like to do ♪ ♪ But they're only worth it when I'm with you ♪ ♪ Yeah, it's true So do you ♪ ♪ Wanna do nothing with me ♪ ♪ Oh, do you wanna do nothing with me? ♪ ♪ Do you wanna do nothing with me ♪ ♪ Do you wanna do nothing with me ♪ ♪ Whoa, oh, oh, oh ♪ ♪♪ ♪ Nothin' with me ♪ ♪ Nothin' with me ♪ ♪ Rainbows and waterfalls run through my mind ♪ ♪ In the garden, I see ♪ ♪ West purple shower bells and tea ♪ ♪ Orange birds and river cousins dressed in green ♪ ♪ Pretty music, I hear ♪ ♪ So happy and loud ♪ ♪ Blue flowers echo from a cherry cloud ♪ ♪ Feel sunshine sparkle pink and blue ♪ ♪ Playgrounds will laugh ♪ ♪ If you try to ask ♪ ♪ Or is it cool, is it cool ♪ ♪ If you arrive and don't see me ♪ ♪ I'm gonna be with my baby ♪ ♪ I am free ♪ ♪ Flying in her arms ♪ ♪ Over the sea ♪ ♪ Stained window, yellow candy screen ♪ ♪ See speakers of kites ♪ ♪ Red velvet roses diggin' freedom flight ♪ ♪ A present from you ♪ ♪ Strawberry letter 22 ♪ ♪ The music plays ♪ ♪ I sit in for a few ♪ ♪ La la la la la la la la ♪ ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪ ♪ La la la la la la la la ♪ ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪ ♪ La la la la la la la la ♪ ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪ ♪ La la la la la la la la ♪ ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪ ♪♪
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Channel: Boxoffice USA | Full Movies in English
Views: 556,700
Rating: undefined out of 5
Keywords: full movies, full movie, full movie english, new movies, 2021
Id: AAaQ3aS-6Ow
Channel Id: undefined
Length: 93min 49sec (5629 seconds)
Published: Tue Feb 01 2022
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