the office conference room meetings held by anyone but michael scott - Comedy Bites

okay team building on this side of the room Stanley Phyllis Jim Ted Elroy and this side of the room Pam Meredith Phyllis Creed he never called a meeting we could get D'Angelo flowers no you can't get flowers for someone who's in a coma they Wilt before he wakes up yeah true all in favor of the baskets full of chocolates teddy bears and balloons wait wait all in favor of the napsack filled with canned goods chainsaw gasoline an emergency radio in case he wakes up post-apocalypse nope baskets have it David Wallace called this meeting sure did I was as surprised as you but apparently he is very passionate about public art so we kiss occasionally not occasionally all the time yeah and it's not just the kissing it's the flirtatious Whispering the flirtatious tickling whispering and tickling have their place in business that thing where you softly exhale on her neck I okay yeah that's pretty hot I will give you that look you are all Hypocrites you all do it Michael confession I have done PDA in the office thank you I have had intercourse in the office all right as has Angela as has Ryan as has Kelly as has Meredith as has Phyllis as has Daryl as has Creed as has Michael and as has Holly as has Kevin with who she goes to another school okay fine no more PDA good okay you win but here's what we are going to do we are going to designate one of our closets as a hookup Zone anything goes just leave it Michel that's absurd what if two couples want to go at the same time okay then we have two no no we're going to have three closets one for each base no homers yes and what is the hookup Zone policy on masturbation Pro yes what problem [Music] Sol wooo and Partners it's me gun safety Dwight and now on the Roo in this I can't do this um look obviously a gun went off under my watch and I'm launching a full investigation we all saw you do it really you did what hand was I holding the gun in what did Andy's tie look like maybe blue little red anchors I have no way of knowing if that's true I am supposed to collect eyewitness accounts who saw Dwight do this okay really would you consider this a terrorist incident I felt terrorized come on oh there's a whole another terrorism book for that I just really really think that we should handle this internally why why is it on us to protect you because you guys are my best friends and I mean that managing you for this last week has been the greatest honor of my life and if you ruin this I will burn this office to the ground and I mean that figuratively not literally because you guys are so so important to me I love you guys but don't cross me but you're the best one of the hardest parts about making resolutions is keeping them in fact most resolutions are abandoned by February or sooner yeah it's not a joke but that's okay because it's not about being perfect it's about trying in fact why don't we go around and confess some of the ways that we've already fudged on our resolutions well I said that I would eat more vegetables and I haven't yet but it's okay I still have time since last year I ate none okay well my confession is that today I had a sip of coffee but that's fine is it yes because with all of your support by this time next year maybe I'll be down to one glass of iced tea a week next year come I mean what is the point what is the point of that I made a resolution to floss and I did it 12:01 January 1st bam blood everywhere well not all of us are Michael freaking Scott what is wrong with you people can't you stick to anything Erin I want you to go to the kitchen and get me some vegetables Creed you say you want to do a cartwheel nothing's stopping you come on old man do a cartwheel well I can't I don't know how you're just going to somersault around for the rest of your life and you know what's going to be on your Tombstone loser my tombstone's already made thank you just do a cartwheel this is all I could find eat it you don't have to do that Kevin oh no I'm glad this is happening thank you Michael why are you eating stem first this is a new food for me how else should I eat it the other way can I get some cheese whz or hollay no no no cheese whz no holiday no chocolate sauce just eat it come on here comes the airplane there you go open open into the hanger there you go yep eat it put it in your mouth and just eat it God I hate it I don't care whether you hate it you said you do it eat it eat it you're killing him Michael all right all right all right sh okay I ate some fluffy part can I be BL let me see if you swallowed it open your mouth under your tongue oh God you guys are pathetic can I get some candy or something no you can't have any candy get him water okay Michael just settle down um God I have terrible news someone defaced my mural painted all over it I thought that's what you were doing yeah but this different oh they use worse paint than your paint I don't think so but they put paint where I didn't want paint so I thought you wanted paint on the whole thing different colored paint I wanted different colored paint in the spots where they put their paint so it just is okay listen up let's start from the ground up where does paper come from trees and where do trees grow for soil right we have in front of you here seven different types of Pennsylvania top soil now what would you say is the most important element in the production of above ground leafy growth probably phosphorus right wrong it's nitrogen absorb this information good now let us discuss precipitation Stanley when rainfall occurs does it usually fall in a liquid solid or gaseous State liquid very good you have earned one shuit Buck I don't want it then you have been deducted 50 sh bucks make it a 100 don't you want to earn fruit bucks no in fact I'll give you a billion Stanley Nichols if you never talk to me again what's the ratio of Stanley Nichols to shot bucks the same as the ratio of unicorns to leprechauns okay that's it class is canceled everybody out no wait what are you doing I'm punishing them no no no class is not can to do come on let's listen to Dwight's presentation what what are you winging for sh your this meeting is not about any one person in particular it is a human problem well it's not just a human problem flounders frequently experience impotence especially when converting from male to female and then back again to male really NL does the person affected by this want us to help her in any way in particular oh oh it's it's it's not me no no I I've never had any problem in that Arena and I have been with several older men how old how old Jinx buy me some coke Dwight told me about it earlier Dwight what promise Dwight couldn't get it up for Nelly no no no no no it's not me I'm going to prove it right here and now what are you doing stop that so guys I've been really bothered by the way certain people are getting treated around here and I just think as an office we're better than that okay now I'm going to show you a picture of genitalia oh oh Andy was it cuz he's black nope it's cuz it's genitalia perfectly normal genitalia tuna now I'm going to show you another picture of perfectly normal genitalia oh my God am I block anybody can everybody see perfectly normal big deal yeah sure it's got some herpes on it but you know what it's just as normal as anyone else's oh first off we're supposed to be pushing card stock this week so let's push card stock this week uh also what is this taper qu for what for recording Michael is on vacation and he has asked me to record all meetings and to type up the transcripts okay uh Karen any news from that law firm yeah the deal closed yesterday it's a six-month commitment oh my God Dwight what are you doing what you're not allowed to take off your pants in the middle of the office I'm not why you know what just back off okay that's making me uncomfortable this is sexual harassment by the way oh my God he's got a knife I do not have a knife no let the record show that Dwight k is now completely nude and is holding a plastic knife to Stanley's neck let the record show that Jim Halper is a liar white fruit is now wearing a baby's Bonnet I am not oh Jim Cary just walked in Dwight get his autograph from my car did not just walk in okay why what is that on your stomach is that a muppet baby's tattoo oh my God Kar you're right that is animal from the Muppet baby you can't see my stomach I am now chopping off phyllis's head with a chainsaw ringing n

Channel: Comedy Bites

Views: 108,727

Keywords: the office, the office conference room, the office conference room meetings, best of the conference room meetings the ofice, michael scott, steve carell, PDA the office, the office PDA meetings, the office ultimatum, the office ultimatum meeting, best of michael scott, best of holly and michael, holly and michael PDA, gun safety dwight, dwight shoots a gun episode, dwight vs jim, dwight vs jim the office, michael feeds kevin broccoli, kevin broccoli the office, angry andy

Id: Y7x38L1Gv6E

Length: 10min 19sec (619 seconds)

Published: Tue Jun 04 2024