- We just celebrated
our seventh wedding anniversary, so we thought we would see
how well we know each other and play the
"Not So Newlywed Game." [upbeat music] All right, but first let's meet
our competition. Please welcome the hilarious Melissa McCarthy
and Ben Falcone. [upbeat music] [cheers and applause] - This is happening. - So... - What if we don't get
any correct? - We might not.
- Yeah. - She's already nervous
about it. She said, "I don't know
how we're--" 'cause we filled all this out
separately backstage. How long have you two
been together? - It'll be ten years this year.
- Yeah. - Married or together?
both: Married ten. - Together, what? Like 17?
- Yeah. - Oh, so you all have
a little bit of time on us. So you should really
know each other? - Highly confident.
- All right. I can't wait. So, we'll see.
tWitch, come on out here. tWitch is gonna host
this thing for us. [upbeat music] [laughter] - Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God. - Look at the gold--
- Oh, my God. - Yeah.
- Oh, my God. - Wow.
- Yeah. - I'm kind of all for it.
- Yeah. - I'm all for it.
- It's a good look. - I don't know if you
should change back. That's a good look.
- It's a good look. - That's good.
- It's good. Okay. Well, earlier we asked you
a series of questions to see how well
you know each other. - You're so serious.
- So now we're gonna see how well you know
each other. - Uh-huh.
- Okay, so for every-- you get a point for every time
your answers match. Y'all ready to play?
- We are. Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Excellent, excellent,
excellent. Okay.
- Okay. Melissa...
- Okay. - If Ben could describe you
in one word, what would it be? - I said chatty.
- Okay. - I said lovely and amazing,
but it was cute. all: Aww.
[buzzer buzzing] - And then that gets a...
[imitates buzzer] [laughter]
All right, all right. - Okay, okay.
- We'll get it back. We'll get it back.
- No problem. - Ben, what word would Melissa
use to describe you? - What did I say? Good enough.
[laughter] - Kind.
- I said kind. [buzzer buzzing]
all: Aww. - And still...
[imitates buzzer] [laughter] I love "kind" gets a...
[imitates buzzer] No, get out. - They just pull you out.
Yeah, just... - I think I'll put a harness.
- They wheel him back. - Okay, okay,
you still in the game. You still in the game.
Okay, Portia... - Yeah.
- Name a celebrity other than you
that Ellen has a crush on. - Easy. - Oh, I knew
you were gonna say that. Well, but I was just joking
about this the other day. - Uh-oh, uh-oh.
- Oh. Aww, man.
[buzzer buzzing] - I was gonna say be careful.
- Things change. - You know a lot of celebrities.
- They change. Ellen, what celebrity
does Portia have a crush on? - Oh, this is very easy.
- It's so easy. You better-- Yes!
- Yes. - Yes. Is that--did I--
- Yes, they match. - Jonathan Rhys Meyers.
Yeah. - Yes!
[bell dings] - Yes. We'll go.
- We're doing good. - Okay.
- Okay. - He kinds looks like
a girl, too. - Okay.
[laughter] - Well, and I sa--and I have
agreed--anyway, go on. - All right, then. Ready?
- Okay. - Ben,
what other celebrity does Melissa think
you have a crush on? - Uh, it's creepy
and it's no longer true, but I think she's gonna say
Jennifer Aniston. - Oh. I did and then
I switched it. Ah! So I'm what--who?
What-- Oh, I said creepy.
- Oh, that's what you-- I was, like, that--
- Creepy and it's no longer-- - Tom Hanks?
Okay. - Who doesn't love Tom Hanks?
That's true. - I do have a crush on him.
That's actually really true. - Oh, yeah.
- Creepy. - I think your true crush
is Tom Hanks. - Yeah, actually I do have
a crush on Tom Hanks. - Okay, Ellen...
- Yes? - What candy would Portia choose
to describe your love life? Starburst,
Good 'N Plenty, Hot Tamales, Mounds,
or Oh Henry? [laughter] - They would all apply,
but-- - Well, yeah.
- But I'm gonna say Hot Tamale. - Damn it.
- Uh-oh, what'd you say? - Oh Henry, Oh Henry.
[buzzer buzzing] - I don't even know
what that means. - I didn't either, but I just
thought it was the funniest one, and you always go for
the joke. - Not when I'm competitive,
I don't. - I see.
- All right. - Okay, Melissa,
fill in the blank. Before I was married,
I used to blank, but now, I blank. - I said,
"Only really hit on gay men, now I married
the right one." [laughter]
It's true. Really true.
What did you say? - I said, "She used to go
to dinner late at night, now she goes to dinner
at 4:00 p.m." [buzzer buzzing]
- Also true, also true. - Also true.
- That could apply to me. - Yeah.
- I like to eat early. - Okay, Ellen...
- Yeah? - Where did you share
your first kiss? - Well, this is very easy.
- Mm. In the back of a limo.
[bell dings] - Aww.
- Very nice. Very nice. - That's nice.
- Have we gotten any right? - I don't think
we've gotten any right. - Okay.
- That's okay. - No, you've got zero.
- Well, you've got zero, but y'all, you look lovely.
- 17 years, guys. - Yes.
That is the end of the game. You look lovely, no points,
but you're a beautiful couple. Beautiful couple.
- Is that the end of the game? Aww, that's sad. All right.
- Yes, that's it. - Yep.
- Well played, well played. - We did it. Wonderful.
- That's it.
