The Most Unpredictable Reddit Stories | Reading Reddit Stories

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- We are back with more absolutely bonkers Reddit stories. But today, we are specifically doing Reddit stories that have updates to them. This comes from a recommendation from a comment by Daniel Franco. He said, "I think y'all should do a video "where y'all do nothing but post from best of Reddit updates "and have the people on the couch try to guess what happens "before reading the update." Daniel Franco, great suggestion. That's what we're gonna do today. So I'm going to read the first parts of these Reddit stories. And then, Chanse and Angela, thank you for being here, you will try to guess what you think is gonna happen next. Do you think you're gonna be pretty good at this? - No. - No, I think together we could. - Maybe. - Alone, no. (everyone laughs) - But as a team, you've got this. - Also, Daniel Franco? - [Shayne] Yeah, Daniel Franco. - Your check's in the mail, Daniel. Just kidding. - Yeah, been a subscriber for eight years. All right. - Wow. - Awesome. - Way to go. That means he subscribed around the time I joined. So maybe it was me. - Maybe. - Story number one, "Boyfriend won't stop telling me I have BO." This comes from relationship advice. - Okay. - "I have been with my boyfriend for over a year, "and everything has been great except for one thing. "Every single day, at least once, "he will tell me that I stink and smell of BO. "When we met, I showered every day, "applied regular deodorant in the morning, "brushed my teeth three times a day. "Now I am so paranoid about smelling bad "that I shower at least twice a day. "I apply new industrial-strength deodorant every few hours. "I have a reminder on my phone, perfume, "and I brush my teeth anytime I eat or drink something "that isn't water. "I feel like I'm going crazy. "I didn't think I smelled bad in the beginning "and I don't think I smell bad now, "but I obviously smell bad to him, right? "I'm that weirdo "that keeps sneakily smelling their own armpits. "I've been to the doctor "and he has said there is nothing medically wrong. "It has honestly gotten to the point "where I literally shove my armpit in friends "and family's faces asking if I smell bad. "They all say I don't smell like BO at all. "One friend even said I smelled too clean like a Lush store. "I am getting so paranoid. "He won't cuddle or anything when he says I smell. "I really don't know what more I can do." All right, that's the first post. - Okay. - She just went on to Reddit asking for advice. - Okay. - Her boyfriend every day tells her that she stinks. - Okay, obvi, I'm thinking it's him. - It's definitely him. - Yeah, but, but- - It's his balls or something. He don't wash 'em. - [Angela] But this is Reddit stories. - Oh, you think he stinks and he's smelling himself? - I think it's his- - And you think it's his balls? (crew laughs) - Well, boys don't be washing their balls often enough. - You think that his... What he thinks is his girlfriend's BO is his balls? - Yeah. - Through his jeans, through everything. - Or just like his own BO. I've done that before, I'm like, "Oh, you smell bad," and it's actually me. - Wow, okay. - But I think that's the obvious answer. And this is Reddit stories, and you guys find the craziest (beep) So I'm like what's even crazier than that? Like, what if his nose is (beep) or something? - Well, my mom used to cook salmon all the time. She used to put cumin on salmon. And for so long cumin smelled like BO to me. - Interesting. - For so long, just that one spice. And every time I was like, "This house smells disgusting!" - [Shayne] Okay. - [Chanse] It would reek for days. But this is every day. - Okay, so you think there's something wrong with his nose? - I just think it's something crazier than just his BO. - Yeah, okay. Okay, so I know what happens here 'cause I have read this, but I can tell you what I thought when I initially read it. - [Angela] You thought it was his? - I'm not gonna tell you if it's wrong or not. I thought it was his, I was like, okay, maybe it's something with his nose and maybe it's something like he needs to go to the doctor and get checked because maybe there's something like, like, you know, like, I don't know. You know how there's weird symptoms for certain things? Like, it's like, "Oh yeah, my girlfriend smells like BO." And it's like, "Oh, you have cancer." Like, I don't know. - Yeah, something like that. - That was my initial thought of just like, what is this? So I'm not gonna tell you if I was wrong or not. So here we go. - Maybe this is like psychological. - Ooh, I like that, I like thar. - Maybe he gets off on a woman cleaning herself. - Or just insulting her in general. Just like putting her down. - Yeah, it's more than his smell. - Like, "You smell disgusting," yeah. - And he might get off on that. - Oh, okay. - I mean, I don't think that's right. - [Shayne] Right, but you're just, okay. - It could be a possibility. - Okay, update. "So, unexpected edit. "I waited for him to make a comment this morning "so I could talk to him. "It was less than an hour after waking up that he said, "'God, you stink.' "I had already showered and put on deodorant. "I snapped and asked what exactly was he smelling? "Because, at this point, "I'm one of the cleanest people on the planet. "And if I still smell bad to him, "then we should just break up. "He got all panicked and upset. "I eventually got out of him "that this is what his father always said to his mother. "Apparently, his father told him "that it was a surefire technique "to have a woman never leave you "because she will feel too low to cheat, "will love only you, and will always be clean. "Needless to say, his father is wrong. "He's packing his things and moving out of my house today." So you got it with the psychological sort of, yeah. You kind of nailed it. A very specific technique. (crew laughs) Some comments here, "Hey, son, you know the woman who gave you life "and brought you into this world "and probably loves you more than you can ever comprehend?" - [Chanse] Right. - Yeah, get there. - "Here's how I dehumanize her so she sticks around. "You should try it with your girlfriends." Someone else said, "OP's ex is beyond pathetic and so is his dad. "Insulting someone to staying with you is such asshole move. "His father must have a very low opinion of himself "if he believed he needed to do that "to get a woman to stay with him." Yeah, that's crazy. And that's also like- - And we also have to realize this is coming from her mouth, from his mouth. So the father could've just said it as a joke. - I guess, I mean- - Like, "She'll never leave you." And he's like... - Yeah. I mean, well no, 'cause it's like, "This is what his father always said to his mother." So I think he grew up hearing his father say this to his mom. - Oh (beep) That's just what he's saying. That's what he's saying. - [Shayne] Yeah. - She asked, "Why do you say that?" And he goes- - That's what he's saying. - "It's for you to stay." - Apparently his father told him that was a surefire technique to have a woman never leave you. I think it's as scummy as it sounds. - It's scummy. - It's like blatantly bad. - It's scummy, but it's also stupid. - So dumb, makes no sense. - Like, drown her in cash or something else. - [Chanse] Right, right. - But it's also like so easily disproven that like it's a dumb thing that that's the one thing he stuck to. - I know, it's just weird, 'cause it's so... Also just a man waking up and going, "God, you stink," is so fucked. - Yeah, he's a piece of (beep) but he's also really dumb. - Yeah, I think there's so many other ways. If you wanted to manipulate your partner to stay, there's so many other ways. - There's so many better ways. (Angela laughs) - Look, have you ever met a bad person, but they're like stupid in the way that they're bad? - [Chanse] Yeah! - And you have the thought of like, "You could be a better bad person." - You could be a better bad person. - You can be better at being the worst. - You need to think about how you're bad. You're not doing it well. - I have notes. - Like, when people lie in the dumbest ways, and I'm like mad that they lied to me in such a dumb way, and I'm like, "Lie better." - That's what this is. Like, if you're gonna be an asshole, do it right. (Shayne laughs) - Okay, okay. Yeah, all right, so we're off to a good start or bad start. - Bad start. Don't. (Shayne laughs) Don't. And I know I don't smell that bad. I smell like Le Labo, so back up, (beep) (everyone laughs) - Okay. Here's the second story. This is also relationship advice. "My best guy friend just told me he's in love with me "two days before my wedding." - Woo hoo! - Okay. - "I've been with my fiance for three years, "engaged for a little over a year. "My best friend and I have known each other "since freshman year of college. "We are all in our early 30s. "This morning I woke up to a long ass text "from my guy best friend that he had sent around 6:00 AM." (Chanse squeals) - Sorry, that's crazy. - "Basically it was him pouring his heart out. "He said he's been in love with me for years, "but always hoped I'd end up breaking up with my fiance "and finally noticing him. "He asked me to call off the wedding and run away with him. "It said, 'I needed to tell you before it was too late.' "I just feel gross and sad. "I have no feelings for him beyond platonic love. "I've drafted a response and deleted it over and over. "I haven't even told my fiance. "I don't want him to have to worry about me "so soon to our wedding. "I know I need to, "but I don't know what to do or how to phrase it. "What's worse is that he's become my fiance's friend too. "I'm also pretty pissed "that my friend chose such an unfortunate time "to cause me such distress. "There were so many times "over the years he could have just bucked up "and told me how he felt. "But waiting until right before I'm married, "like I would just cancel my wedding and leave my fiance "because of a goddamn text? "I want to tell him to not come to the wedding. "I can't trust that he wouldn't try to pull something. "I don't even know if I want to talk to him again. "But the thought of losing my best friend is heartbreaking. "Hell, the thought of not having him "at my wedding is really painful. "He's put me in an uncomfortable, impossible situation. "I wish it wasn't on me to deal with these feelings for him. "I wish he had either stopped being friends with me "when he realized us ending up together would never happen "or had told me a while ago. "I don't want to kick him while he is down, "but I need to make it clear that I have no feelings, "the wedding is still on, and I don't want him to attend. "We have been friends for over a decade. "I've been crying over this all day. "I feel almost disgusted knowing "that this whole time he had ulterior motives. "How do I even go about dealing with this? "I'm supposed to get married in under 48 hours. "Edit, I'll be showing the text to my fiance "after he gets home from his brother's. "I won't send anything until he's here with me." - That's good. I like that, I like that. - [Shayne] She's very smart. - Yes, she is. - I wanna say like this is the most- - [Chanse] Well-rounded. - Mature response to this you can have. - Yeah. - But also I'll say, being on Reddit two days before your wedding, kinda sad. (Shayne laughs) - [Chanse] Oh, that's also true. That's also true. - Okay. I hope they end up together. - What? - I'm not gonna lie, I kind of hope they do too. - Her and the friend? - I famously will always fall in love with my best friend. Famously, straight or gay. Bad. And I'm always like, "It could happen. "I wanna believe that it could happen." - I like it in the sense of if this was a movie. - Yeah, and that's what this is to me. - Right. (laughs) - In real life, I feel like that would never look or be as good as a movie. - Not the wedding. It's the wedding part that's (beep) up. - [Shayne] Yeah. - There's been so much thought and planning and tickets bought and money. - Also I'll say it's not the wedding part that's (beep) up too, it's the text part. - Text! - Yeah, not a call, not in person. - Well, it's 6:00 AM, so maybe he was, I mean, I don't... - A letter, a letter would do it. - 6:00 AM is a crazy time, 'cause that means, like, I could say like, oh, he was maybe very drunk. But like 6:00 AM is a weird time. - Too late to be drunk and crafting it, she would've said that the text message made no sense. Should've been like, "It looks like typos, grammatical errors." - That's really, he's going through it. - Yeah. - He's really going through it. If you're in that head space at 6:00 AM, oh my god. - At least the guy in "Love Actually" wrote it on posters. - Right. - All right, let's cut that out. - Actually in love. Actually in love. (Angela laughs) - Okay. - Okay, are we ready for this update? - Wait, did we guess? - Oh my god. - I mean, you're guessing, I mean, I like the prediction of you're hoping they end up together. - Yeah, I think because of this format- - Or you're thinking they're gonna end up together. - My brain's going crazier 'cause I know that these people are always just, these stories are always wild. - And I'll give a crazier guess. I'll give a crazier guess. - Okay. - That he's protecting her from something. The fiance's done something and he knows and he doesn't wanna tell her. - Interesting. - So instead it's easier to do this. - So a 6:00 AM Hail Mary text. - A 6:00 AM Hail Mary text. Like, he's been, like, he knows the best man, the groom has been sleeping with someone or... - Okay. - Or, okay... - Last one. - Or we're gonna get the update that the fiance came home and then they got into a huge fight and they didn't get married and she's not with him. (Chanse screams) I don't know. - [Shayne] Okay. - Somehow I'm trying to win. - Right, right, right, right, right. (crew laughs) - "My husband, I love being able to say that now." This is later. (Chanse gasps) - Oh my god, but we don't know who she's married to. (crew laughs) - What happened? Which one? - "My husband, I love being able to say that now, "and I got back from our honeymoon yesterday. "I turned on my phone and opened the Reddit app "and it was still signed into this account, "so I had an oh yeah moment and figured I'd post an update. "So a lot of people here really helped validate "the icky mess of feelings I was having. "Thank you for that. "Posting here really helped put my thoughts into words. "So that night my fiance got home from his brother's. "I let him sit down and when I showed him the text, "he read it and I watched his eyes get bigger "and expression angrier. "Of course, I started apologizing like an idiot. "And he told me I didn't owe him an apology for anything. "We talked and he told me he figured the guy had a crush "but kept it respectful. "And really he had. "We were close, "but beyond a side hug during greetings and goodbyes, "there was no physicality. "I even let him read out past messages "just to see that there was no emotional affair "or me leading him on." - Showing receipts. - "I never even vented about my fiance "when we would have arguments "because I knew better than to do that. "I'd talk to my mom, LOL. "So my fiance asked me what I wanted to do, "and I said that while it did sadden me, "I didn't want him at our wedding, "I was afraid that he would try some nonsense. "We typed up a very brief message. "It said, 'Friend, I'm sorry that you mistook my friendship "'for something more. "'The wedding is going to happen, "'and it'd be best if you didn't attend. "'To be clear, I let fiance read this message "'and he stands by my decision to uninvite you.'" "We wanted to make it clear "that it was me who wanted him not to come, "not just my fiance. "Knowing him, he'd probably claim "that the fiance forced me to uninvite him. "He read the message and left it on read for a while. "I honestly started getting pretty anxious over it, "and my fiance asked if I wanted to block him. "Part of me wanted to and part of me wanted to hear him out. "And when he finally responded, "the text was so long that I had to click on it to read it. "It was horrible. "He called me a liar for leading him on for over a decade, "that he hoped my fiance left me, "and that we were infertile." - Nope. - "It was just horrible thing after horrible thing, "and I started crying. "Fiance took my phone into the other room while I sobbed. "I think he called him, but I'm not sure. "What I do know is after about an hour, "he came back in, handed me my phone back "and told me that my friend was now blocked on everything, "would not be attending, "and the best man and my maid of honor knew of the situation "and would handle it for me. "It was like a weight lifted off my shoulders honestly. "After reading that message, I really wasn't so sad "that my friend wouldn't be attending anymore. "And our wedding (beep) rocked. "We had the time of our lives surrounded by people "who loved us and we loved them. "It still feels like a dream, to be honest. "And if the friend tried to show up, "I never heard anything of it. "I guess that's the update. "It's not nearly as dramatic "and crazy as what people hope for, I feel like, "but I'm happy." Yeah, so that one was a little more predictable, I guess. But, you know, it's hard to know with these stories. Some comments on here. "Dude saw 'Love Actually' and thought he might be the one "to make the wedding scene work for him "where it failed on screen." (laughs) "So disturbing that someone you considered a friend "for over a decade could turn on you that quickly "because you don't wanna sleep with them. "He was hiding the real him for a decade." - That's what I was thinking. I was like, homie, has confused love with obsession easily, because that is not how you treat people you love. You don't do that. - Yeah, I mean, I... That guy has to think if he was pretending, and that's what it was, he was pretending to be someone's friend for that long, it's like, what are any of his friendships? Like, does he have any actual friendships? Or is it all just transactional that he's hoping for? - She said they were friends for 10 plus years? - 10 plus years. - See, I have another friend right now that had like a falling out with her friend, and I have this weird thing that I think like if you're like five plus years, 10 plus years of friendship, it shouldn't be able to be blown up in a second. - No. - Like, everything should be talked out, at least like tried. You know what I mean? Like, that was just one and done. He wished you infertile and that was it? - Yeah, no. - Insane. Yeah, absolutely insane. - It also probably made it easier for her. - Oh my god. - Oh yeah. - Probably hurt so bad but also... Yeah, I guess you could say the silver lining is like, "Okay, now I get to just completely remove him "from my life." - (beep) that. - 'Cause there's no, I mean, him doing that 48 hours before the wedding, there's no coming back from that anyways. Like, I guess it could have been really complicated if he was like, "I'm so sorry. "I didn't mean to, that was wrong of me." Or if he drunk texted that. - Yeah, then that would've been different. - It would've been really hard. Like, if he's like, "(beep) I didn't wanna send you that. "I didn't wanna say it." - "My friend took my phone." (Shayne laughs) - "Oh my god, that was Jeff!" - "Wait, I thought this was somebody else." - "Oh, sorry, I thought that was my other friend "of 10 years." - [Chanse] "Oh, sorry." - "Oh my god, my cousin typed something stupid on my phone. "He also made my Facebook status 'I love poop.'" Remember when you used to do that? - Yeah. - Yeah. - One more comment. "As someone who has had feelings for a friend "and never moved to a romantic level, "this dude (beep) sucks. "They've known each other for years "and he decides to shoot his shot right before a wedding, "and then his reaction when she told him "she didn't think of him that way, gross. "Beyond gross, if you actually love someone, "truly love them. "Then you want them to be happy no matter what. "You want to be in their life and have them as your friend "and talk to them and laugh with them and cheer them on "in all the good moments in their life "and be there to support them during the down times. "You don't throw away that kind of friendship with someone "just because they won't (beep) you. "If you genuinely love them, that is. "this dude is just a selfish ass "who gives off clear incel vibes "and OOP is completely right to yeet him the (beep) "out of her life." - [Angela] "Eat It or Yeet It." - Yeah, it's sad that it's obvious that it was like he viewed her as an object for like 10 years. Like, 'cause if he really did care for her as a person- - [Chanse] You let it go. - He would've also had clearer vision to go, "Oh, she's really happy in this situation." - I mean he made it easy. - He clearly couldn't think that way. - I think he made it easy on her. Him being a clear asshole at the end is just like clear block. Instead of like your best friend being heartbroken. That would've got messy. - And he doesn't even feel bad about it. I mean, maybe someday, maybe years from now he'll suddenly wake up. - Hopefully. - All right, next story. "Am I the asshole for being late "when I was previously someone who was chronically late?" - What? - "Am I the asshole for being late "when I was previously someone who was chronically late." So this is someone who was, they were late, but they used to be late all the time, but now they're not. But they were late. - Okay. - Okay. "Hi, everybody, I would like some judgment on this "because I've been getting some serious backlash "from my friends, but personally don't really see the issue. "Last week I was invited to brunch "with some of my closer friends. "We meet up quite regularly, "so this wasn't anything special or uncommon. "Now I'm gonna be honest, "I used to be someone who is chronically late to everything, "like 20 to 30 minutes. "I just couldn't seem to manage my life enough "to be on time. "However, I've seriously taken the time to change. "Life planners, reminders, "and overall more awareness of time and stuff "have helped me a lot. "In the past two years, I've never been late to anything "if there wasn't a genuine reason. "Train getting delayed or something like that. "Now all my precautions have failed me last week "and I found myself running late, not terribly so big, "maybe 10 minutes behind schedule. "I let the others know via text that I'll be late, "and then they can start ordering drinks already "and don't have to wait on me. "I thought everything was dealt with and hurried up "and got to the place maybe 15 minutes late in total. "I was already ready to apologize and sit down at the table, "but as soon as I sat down, "everyone got up and left me there. "They told me that if they weren't worth my time, "I wasn't worth theirs either, "and they left the restaurant together. "I later saw on Insta "that they went out to eat together somewhere else. "Now I would've understood that if it was in my late era, "but I thought that it was clear that I've changed "and wasn't late just because I could. "My friends are late sometimes too, "so I don't see the reason on them being always on time." Judgment, not the asshole for that one. But what are your thoughts on... - Why did they do that? - That's insane. So I haven't read this one. So my initial reaction, 'cause a thought that I often have reading these Reddit stories is that I'm like, okay, you're not giving us the whole story. - Yeah, 100%. - [Shayne] You're twisting this. - 100%. - So a part of me is thinking she wasn't 15 minutes late. Like, I think maybe she's like changing this up or there's some detail that her being 15 minutes late like (beep) them over a lot more. - Did she give a reason why she was late? - She just said, "Now all my precautions have failed me last week "and I found myself running late." She didn't say specifically why. She just said like, she's doing life planners, reminders, and all these things, but all these things failed her this past week. - Also, she could be, on your note, she could be like running late and her late era wasn't that long ago. Also this little Taylor Swift and her Eras tour. - [Chanse] Late era. - She said in the past two years, two question mark years. So like she's like saying roughly two years- - [Chanse] A long time. - She has never been late to anything. - Also her self-proclaimed late era, I just find that funny. - And hearing that and saying 20 to 30 minutes late. In LA like everyone is so- - [Shayne] Yeah, I don't know where this is at. - 20, 30 minutes is like the norm. - I don't know where this is. - [Angela] Yeah. - People that are late all the time, I feel like they know that they're late. They just don't care. They're just like, "I'll show up when I show up." Like, they're not worried about being on time. - Yeah, I've never been too bothered by it. There is a, definitely, I would say 20 to 30 minutes is like, once it gets past that is when I start getting like a little frustrated. And it depends on what it is, right? If it's brunch with a group of people, I'm not too bothered if one person shows up 30 minutes after. But I used to have, and it was a whole group of friends who were like this, that we would be going to see a movie and they would be picking the movie. They'd be like, "Dude, we're seeing this movie at 7:00." And I'd be like, "Sick," and I'd go to the movie theater. And it started to become like clockwork that I'd know they would be an hour late to the point where we wouldn't make that movie. And then we would see whatever movie was like later. - [Angela] Just there. - [Shayne] And it started to become to the point where my other friend and I, when we got invited to a movie, we would go, "All right, so we'll leave, we won't go to see that movie." - [Angela] Yeah, you're gonna see a different movie. - [Shayne] They're saying eight o'clock, so we'll go to the theater at 9:00. And it started to work out like that. - Yeah. - And I was just like, it started to become like, stop, you're not late, just stop being optimistic about how soon you could go to a thing. - Yes, yes. - [Shayne] Start saying something later. - Just like, yeah. - I'll tell, my dad always used to be so, so late, so my mom used to tell him an hour before. - Yeah. - And then he'd show up on time. So I do the same thing with my friends now too. - So I'm picturing that she shows up, she walks in late, and they all get up and leave like in front of her? - See, I think that's insane. - Maybe it's dinner for a, maybe it's a special thing. - [Shayne] Yeah, there's something- - So they get up and leave? - Maybe it's a thing like they were like, there was like a commencement, not commencement, but like some kind of thing that was supposed to happen at this time. - To get up and go to another restaurant is so much effort. - [Chanse] Yeah. - I think I'm too lazy to do that. - Did they tip the server? I hope they tipped the server. - Yeah, I wonder what the, this seems weird. Okay, I want to, let's... But we think, okay, I think the only prediction is do we think it's her fault or do we think her friends are (beep) - Okay, I'm gonna say I think it's her fault. - Okay. - Yeah, I think she's, I don't know if this girl though would come in and update us and be like, "I actually own up to what I did," on Reddit. - That's a good point, that's a good point. - You're right, she's an era girl. (Angela laughs) - So you're going friends? - Yeah, I think she's gonna update us and say that she's not friends with them anymore and all this drama happened. - Okay. - What are you going, Shane? - God, I don't know. I think it's gonna be something, I think it's gonna be neither. (Chanse gasps) I think it's gonna be something weird. - It's gonna be something like your dad grew up with the BO. - She's not the asshole, they're not the asshole. There's some sort of weird (beep) thing that happened. - Ooh! - Let's (beep) go! - Okay. "Hello everyone, a few days ago I posted about a situation "where I was late to brunch with friends. "Someone sent me a message asking for an update, "so I thought I would just post it publicly. "Now first of all, "thank you so much for everyone's feedback. "I was ultimately called not the asshole, "but I'm truly happy for every judgment, "the you are the assholes as well. "Reading through all of the comments "was basically impossible, "however, there were some prominent ones. "Due to so many recommendations, "I now have an appointment for an ADHD diagnosis, "which I am really happy about. "I also used many comments as tips "on how to get ahead of my schedule even more "just in case I'll never run late again. "Thanks so much for that. "However, long story short, "here is how the situation turned out in the end. "Brunch with my friends usually starts at 11:00 AM. "I arrived at 11:15 AM so I was 15 minutes late. "However, one of my friends had an appointment at 1:00 PM, "which led to the brunch being pulled forward an hour, "now starting at 10:00 AM. "Now here it gets a little confusing. "Usually these things are simply posted on the group chat "in advance. "Everyone reads it and all is good. "Now the 10:00 AM brunch was planned "at the brunch the week beforehand, "which I didn't attend due to an appointment. "Now I was meeting up with one of them a day later "and they were supposed to tell me about it. "However, hanging out, they simply forgot about it. "No problem, happens to everyone, you know? "So I was arriving at the 10:00 AM brunch at 11:15 "and called that a little behind schedule, "which made them angry as it seemed really ignorant. "That explains the huge reaction to be honest. "Now we all had a talk after a few days, "and it took about five minutes of confused discussion "until they realized that they didn't tell me. "They started apologizing profusely immediately. "To sum it up, we're all good now. "It was a misunderstanding and that happens. "Next brunch is fully on them, LOL. "Thanks for everyone's judgment. "Hope this update helps understanding the situation "and isn't too confusing. "It was very confusing to write to be honest." Okay, so I was right. Neither of them were the asshole and it was a weird confusion. - Yep. - I will still say, even if she's an hour and 15 minutes late, them getting up and going to another restaurant I still think is a little crazy. - 'Cause there's no way they didn't eat for that full hour. - Right. - So here's some comments. "How does it make sense that they had to push up the brunch "to 10:00 AM because of an appointment at 1:00 PM "but then went and ate at an entirely new restaurant "at 11:15 AM?" - Yep. - "Doesn't that just defeat the purpose of meeting early?" Someone says, "I think OOP just saw a photo posted of their friends "with their brunch and assumed it had happened "after they left since OOP didn't know brunch "had been moved forward and their friends would've had time "to eat before they arrived." "It says they ate somewhere else, "so they either didn't wait at all for OP "and ate somewhere else immediately "just to go back to their normal brunch spot to meet OP, "which doesn't make sense. "If the pictures posted weren't "at the same restaurant they always go to, "it's a pretty safe assumption that they ate after." "The way I read read it is OP thought they left "to eat somewhere else when OP arrived 15 minutes late. "But in reality, "OP arrived an hour and 15 minutes late to brunch, "so everyone was just leaving because brunch was over." Yeah, it seems, I guess it's confusing, but she made it sound like they left and they went and ate somewhere else. They immediately got up when she sat down. - And did only one person have an appointment? 'Cause maybe the one person- - Yeah, Jesus, this one person should have just left early. - Right, yes, that's what I was gonna say. - So maybe the one person who had the appointment went to the appointment, but the others got up left and then they went and ate somewhere else. I still think even if they got up and just left immediately and then all went out to eat somewhere later that day and didn't invite, I just think it's all like big reaction to like, you were late. Like, I don't know. - Yeah. - I guess everyone's different, but I don't see it as like a type of disrespect where I'm like, "You (beep) ruined my day." I'm like, you showed up late to brunch. Like, at the very least, that's one of those where I'm like, I don't need to like punish you as a friend. The punishment is like, "Hey, I'm sorry, brunch is over." Like, I'm sorry. - Yeah, that's the punishment. - Like, if someone shows up late and I'm like, "I gotta go," like I don't feel bad at that point. But I'm not like, "Now we're gonna all, "we're gonna go get dinner later tonight "and we're not gonna invite you "'cause you were late to this." - This is like when parents give like a kid a punishment for the lesson learning of it all, and you're like, this actually is not gonna help the kid learn. - [Chanse] No. - Like, just being like, "When she sees that we actually went "to a different restaurant, she'll never be late again." No. - Like, it's weird. Yeah. Someone said, "I get that this was a miscommunication, "but it is horrible that they didn't even hear OP out "and all got up like a bunch of children. "I wouldn't be friends with people like that." Someone else said, "Frankly, I didn't get the reason behind (beep) "And yes, their reaction was very sitcom level "of miscommunication. "Definitely sounds like one of those problems "that could have been resolved "with the barest amount of communication "rather than storming off "without giving the other person a chance to explain. "And considering the time for the brunch was changed, "I don't know how it didn't occur to any of them "that maybe OP forgot or wasn't told. "No one thought 20 minutes in "when they hadn't heard from him? "Hey, someone remembered to tell OP, right? "Maybe he needs a reminder." Yeah, it's just, it's all very impulsive. - Yeah, childish. - Yeah, this is on the mother (beep) that didn't tell her about their time and then got up and went to a different restaurant. - Yes! - Yeah, it was on several people for realizing like, "You weren't there last week when we planned this. "There's no written documentation of it." - And (beep) gets lost in group chats even if there was. Like, there's so many people in it probably. - I'm very curious how many people are involved in this group too. - Yeah. - Like, if it's like four or five people, I'm like, that's a huge reaction to one person being late. - Oh, that's so mean. - It's so mean. Moving on. - Ready. - "Am I the asshole "for refusing to honor my boyfriend's family's tradition?" - Ooh. What is the tradition? What is the tradition? - "My boyfriend, Eric, 29 male, fake name." - I love when we get the ages. - "And I, 27 female, have been dating for three years. "For context, I have met his family and they're friendly. "We don't meet them very often "because they live in my boyfriend's home country. "I don't wanna reveal country names either "for privacy reasons, "but my boyfriend and I are of different nationalities "and we both work in my country. "The conflict happened during our last visit last weekend. "We have been looking up houses to move in together "and engagement rings. "While we were having dinner, "we mentioned this to his family "as it's a big step in our relationship for us. "We are not engaged yet. "His parents and brothers expressed their happiness for us. "Then out of nowhere, his youngest sister-in-law asked, "'So is she going to take the test?' "I asked, 'What test?' "In summary, boyfriend's family has this tradition "where the future mother-in-law "tests future daughters-in-law "to see if they're good enough for her sons. "Apparently his mother and aunts "went through this same test. "The test include how to clean and keep a home, "how well they can cook, their manners, et cetera. "Basically life skills most people learn from childhood. "I found it ridiculous "because one, if I'm good enough for my boyfriend, "he should be the one deciding it. "And two, I don't fit in their targeted category. "In his mom's words, 'You can't be a good stay-at-home wife "'and stay-at-home mom if you can't be a good homemaker.' "And she wants to make sure of that. "To be clear, his mom and all three of his brothers wives "are stay-at-home moms. "And although I respect their choice, "I'm not quitting my career "and did not under any circumstances make my boyfriend "think I could compromise on that. "I hate house chores "and I would rather buy homemaking gadgets "and hire staff no matter the cost "than have to do chores myself. "I told my boyfriend's mom all this "and it caused an argument that eventually ruined dinner "and in extension, our visit. "Boyfriend doesn't care whether I'm a working wife "or a stay-at-home mom, "but he thinks I should have just done the test "because it's just a test "and it's not like they would reject me if I failed it. "He thinks it's a fun tradition "that everyone was looking forward to "and I should have gone along with it anyways. "My boyfriend thinks I'm the asshole "and suggested I make this post. "If I really am the asshole, "I'm sure you guys will let me know. "So am I? "Edit, adding this as it's been coming up. "I know disclosing the country may "or may not bring up some unwanted arguments "that will violate the rules here, "but just for context, it's a family tradition, "not a national culture." That is an important thing. - [Chanse] That is an important thing. - Great edit. - So yeah, for context, she is saying, and I'm supposing the boyfriend saying like, this is a very individual family tradition. - Right. - This is nothing... - [Chanse] Cultural. - Like, cultural to where he is from or anything. Yeah, so she gave a little more info on this. "One of those things that one family member does "and is passed down from generations, "like baking a huge cake on the anniversary "of someone important in the family. "Not everyone in that country does it, "but it's a family tradition. "I don't know if my example makes sense, "but this is how I understood it. "I'm not sure if the results mean anything. "All I know is that if it's a cooking test, for example, "I'd have to cook a nice meal for the family "and receive their approval based on how delicious it is. "And trust me, "they'll be convinced I'm trying to take revenge on them "if they ate my food. "So there's that. "But now that you mentioned it, "his mom cooks like a five star chef "and so do his sister-in-laws, "the two whose food I've tasted. "Maybe they passed the test, I don't know. "I'll have to ask my boyfriend." Wow. So I have not read this, so I have no idea where this is going. - So I, I, I love the idea of a test. I'm like, that's so fun. - [Shayne] Yeah. - "Get in our family, "you gotta pass this mother (beep) test." But on the outside of that, I'm like, she don't gotta do (beep) right? - [Shayne] Right. - Definitely not quit her career. The test, it's kind of fun. It sounds kind of fun. - Yeah. - It sounds like this community thing. It's not cultural. It's like this fun thing that we've done. - [Shayne] Right. - But I guess it does uphold gender norms. - Yeah, it's weird because it's definitely forcing like, "Oh, you're gonna be a stay-at-home mom." - Yes. - When she's not that. Like, I think the idea of like of a test is kind of cute if it's something kind of like a little more outta the ordinary or silly and if they acknowledge like, "This is a silly, stupid tradition we have." - Yes, that's different. - Or a little bit more of like an initiation into the family. Like, "Hey, when you're initiated into the family, "you have to bake a cake for all of us." - It's not a pass or fail. It's not like if you fail- - Exactly. It's like, it's funny. It's like man or woman, you gotta do this. Like, doesn't matter. But this is very much like, are you a good enough, like, it feels like it's saying like, "Are you a good enough traditional wife?" - That is what it feels like it's saying and that's why it's icky. - Yeah, and that's why she's allowed to have a problem with it. - Yes. - But I don't know. I also feel like- - She should have strategized too. She should have strategized with the husband outside of the family instead of starting a fight. I just, I will avoid a fight at all cost. So I'm like, how are we gonna do this together? What would be the best way to go about this to your family? 'Cause I'm not- - Yeah, like let's groupthink this. - Let's groupthink this. - I understand too, like it's a family tradition or cultural traditions and stuff and it's like, and I feel like the emphasis a lot of times in these is like, "Oh, well this is their culture, "so she can respect this," but I'm like, she has a culture too. - Yes, 100%. - Like, the family can also acknowledge like, "Oh, our son is dating a woman from this culture. "Oh, and she probably doesn't adhere to our cultural norms." - Yeah. - "So either like, let's just clean slate it "and say, oh, we don't have to like do that to each other "or like respect her as much as she can respect us "and like find the middle ground." - I think we get into scary territory when we repeat things in the name of culture despite why we're repeating them. - [Chanse] Right. - It does sound like, it sounds like a sweet moment to like have to like cook a meal for your future family. But I also understand what that makes her feel like and especially when there's like a chefs in the family or whatever, like that does sound scary, but it's also, yeah, I don't know. - As soon as she brought it up that it's a problem, it should have been like, "Oh, we don't have to do this." - [Shayne] Right. - [Chanse] But it sounds like they want to, they really have to do that. - And I get that he's the type, it sounds like he's the type to just be like, "Ah, whatever, who cares?" But I think he could probably wake up for a second and go, "Oh, she's feeling really uncomfortable by this." But I know that's tough to be put between your family. Like, a lot of people have a really hard time saying no to their families. - Yeah. - Yeah. - But he's gotta learn to do that here, like- - So what's the twist? - Or they just gotta update their test. - Yeah. - You know what I mean? Just like, it's just not gonna stand the test of time. - I think they should make the test sillier. - Yeah, make it silly. - And make everyone take it. - [Shayne] Yeah, yeah. - Make everyone do it. - Right? - Yeah, where's his (beep) test? - Right, exactly! - That's a good question. So any predictions? - The twist, the twist... There's no way it was a bit, there's no way it's a bit. - Oh, it's a prank? - [Chanse] It's a prank. - [Shayne] That could be funny. - And they go, "We wish you had a sense of humor." - There's a lot of prank families. I can't imagine marrying into a prank family. - Oh (beep) that. - That (beep) happens to people. There's been a trend on TikTok where people bring their significant others when they meet their families, and they're sitting down for dinner, they stand up and say the Pledge of Allegiance before dinner as a prank. - [Chanse] I love it. - Oh my god, that would, I, that would be tough. - I would do it too. (everyone laughs) - You would do it? - And you know what? I'd know every word, hopefully. (everyone laughs) - Oh god. - Under God. Oh my gosh. - All right, so wait, any predictions? It doesn't have to be like what the whole story is, just anything that you think is gonna be involved in this story. - I mean, maybe she had a change of heart and she cooked. - I hope not. - You think she's gonna do it? - Or they reassessed and they apologize. - Aw. - Okay. I like what you said, where's his test? - [Chanse] Yeah. - I wonder if there's like a test for him. - Like, he should go out and have to hunt the food. - Yeah, he should go, he needs to go kill a moose. - And then she'll have to make the moose. - Yeah. Okay, that's teamwork. - I want the same test. - [Shayne] Okay. - She gotta do it, he gotta do it. - Okay, I like that. All right, here we go. "Several things have happened since my post, "and I received requests for an update, so here it is. "This will be my only update. "I got a lot of insight from the votes and comments "in my original post "and I would like to thank you all for that. "I showed my boyfriend the responses and judgment "on the original post. "Most of you felt I was not the asshole. "And like you would guess, he was upset by this judgment. "He tried to make his own post, "but was the assholed so badly he deleted it "in less than an hour." - Yes! (Angela laughs) Yes! - It falls in line with the rule of Reddit. Whenever boyfriends post on there, they're the asshole. They're always like, "I want my girlfriend to cook for everyone. "Am I the asshole?" - Right. - Anyway, "I talked to my family "and told them about the test. "Yesterday they called us home for dinner "and told him they would let me take his family's test "if he let my dad and male cousins put him "through a similar test. "He blew up about how it was ridiculous." Sorry, "He blew up about how ridiculous it is "because it's a family tradition for his family. "But for mine it's something we came up with at random." That's how traditions start. - Wow, wow. - And you could take that to the (beep) bank. (Shayne laughs) - Look, they're starting a family tradition. "He ended up saying it's okay if I don't do the test, "but my parents and I were being childish. "He let slip mid argument that his younger sister-in-law "didn't want to do the test either, "'but look at her, the perfect wife.'" (Chanse gasps) There it is. - He let it slip! - Yep. "He said a lot of things, but long story short, "he is still supportive of whatever I want to do "with my life after marriage, "but his family will never think the same way. "However, I was starting to see a pattern, "so I asked to take a break. "It was great while it lasted. "It's not a fun or cute update, but there you go. "Time for me to binge watch heartbreaking movies "with a giant tub of ice cream. "Once again, thank you for the comments and judgment." One more comment they left. "It still sucks being me for now, "but between work and getting home fast "so I can read some chapters "or play at least one of my games before I nod off, "I barely have time to think about my ex. "The tiniest chance "that I could give it another chance vanished "when he started spamming my phone with misogynistic crap "like I'll be single forever if I don't bow my head. "Good riddance, LOL." (crew laughs) - Wow, wow. - Good riddance! (everyone laughs) - Yeah, he needed to go. I love that they gave him a test. I love that. She said, "Look, look at yourself." That's a mirror. "Look at yourself. "Look at what you're doing." And he didn't like what he saw. - God, I love that he let it slip that his sister-in-law also didn't like it. - I know. But then said, "Look at her, perfect wife." - I'm so sad that she had to do it. - I know, but she dodged a bullet. - I know she also just like slipped under there. She was like, "Also there's a couple behaviors "that are being repeated that I don't like." And I'm like, what is that? - That's always what ends up happening with these am I the asshole posts. Like, when she's posting about like he does this one thing. - And she's like, "Also he cheated on me, so I broke up with him." - Yeah. - "Also yeah, he says I stink every day." It's like, okay, there's more. There's some comments. "Honestly, you gotta thank the family. "If they weren't such weirdos, "OOP wouldn't have noticed she was way too close "to marrying a future 'But you're so good "'at being a housewife. "'If you love me, you'd drop your job and dreams, "'so I can have cooked meals and washed socks for free.'" "If he's gotta test you to know if you're the one, "he's not the one. "It's not a cute tradition. "It only tells the family "that women are willing to let you push past boundaries "without putting up a fight. "Family traditions are like watching a certain movie "on Christmas Eve "or grandpa hiding money in some of the Easter eggs. "A test to see how willing you are "to do whatever they say is not the play." That's so true. - Yeah. - Family traditions are like, they're supposed to be silly, I feel like. - Yes, agreed. - I mean, there's some though that are like rooted in like religion and culture that I do understand. I think it's always what it goes back to, right? And it's like, it seems like what this goes back to is control over the woman. - Yeah. - And that don't taste that good. - That's not cute. - But I don't like traditions if it's like, "You have to do this thing "and we're telling you you have to do this thing." Traditions should be like, "We do this fun thing. "Oh, you don't have to do it. "We do this fun thing." - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah. - Like, it's for us. But that's weird. Good for her getting out of there. - [Chanse] Yes. - What a piece of (beep) All right. (crew laughs) Okay, so this- - See, I love that face! It's a good one! - So this one I read a long time ago, and this one is nuts. - Okay, okay. - This is some crazy (beep) - [Chanse] Okay. - All right. - We deserve this one because that girl didn't end up going with her best friend or whatever. - That's true. - Okay. Buckle up, for you guys and for people listening. This one is intense. Okay. "A cake eater discovers "that his wife has also been eating cake." You're gonna find out what that means in a second. So- (Angela laughs) "There's a subreddit called r/cakeeater "and it is a sub for cake eaters, "not chocolate cake or cheesecake "or any regular sort of cake, "but people who want to have their cake and eat it too, "who are in a happy marriage and not planning on leaving, "but still have an affair just because." - Copy. - Yeah. So here's the first post. "Calm before the storm. "Tried posting a few days ago, but could not find post. "Must be lost in cyberspace. "Don't even know if this is the right forum at the moment. "In gist, affair partner got served divorce papers "out of nowhere two days ago at work. "Her husband knows of us, me. "It's only a matter of time before my wife finds out. "Don't know if I have days or hours "before the world as I know it is gone. "Took some time off work to spend time with my wife "and two daughters. "My body is in turmoil, but strangely, my mind is clear. "It reminds me of the days leading up "to my dad passing away. "Time has slowed down, "and I'm aware of all the things surrounding me. "It's a nice feeling. "My day-to-day was filled with observation of details "and appreciation. "My wife's smell in the clothes she wore, "my daughters' laughter, the color of the kitchen tiles, "the dog, the yard. "Feel blessed to have a healthy and beautiful family. "What will my daughters think of me? "I look at my wife that I love with all my heart "and I see a woman who stood by me no matter what. "We had our fair share of ups and downs like most couples, "but I never imagined a life without her. "How do I justify a six year affair? "Is that even forgivable? "I don't know what the future holds. "All I know is that the storm is coming "and I am here basking in the sun "until the clouds come rolling in. "I plan to confess over the weekend. "Even if I know the outcome, I pray she does not leave me. "This was so (beep) not worth it. "Any suggestions on how to confess? "How do you start? "What do I tell my daughters? "I have already made an appointment with a therapist. "What else can I do? "Wish me luck. "Edit, thank you all for your comments and suggestions. "Some of them were hard to read. "I don't have time to address all comments "but will reply a few to clear some things. "Yesterday I reached out to my brother for advice. "He left his wife some years ago "and married his affair partner. "He seemed happy with her. "The grass is not greener for him after all, "and he is planning on leaving her "but is stuck at the moment. "His advice is not to tell my wife "and to minimize it if confronted. "He also said I should let down affair partner gently, "so she does not go nuclear on my wife and family. "I am hoping for the best, but preparing for the worst." "In the comments, "people doubt that OP really loved his wife. "He did cheat on her for six years and all. "He responds." "I'm not confused, I never was. "I don't have a problem separating love from sex. "My heart is loyal to my woman and she is for me. "So many responses "about how I don't value my affair partner. "Since I'm on a pour my heart out roll here, "let me tell you about my affair partner. "She is a gorgeous and smart woman "who is funny and open to different experiences. "She is younger than myself and my wife, "fit, seductive, sexy as (beep) "but she is not my wife and does not even compare. "Six years on and off is a long time to invest. "As I see it, she is an adult woman "who made decisions to cheat with a married man "on her husband for whatever reasons. "Do I care for her? "Yes. "Six years is a long time. "Do I love her? "No. "Did I say to her I loved her? "Yes, of course I did, "but I lied, just as I lied to my wife. "Did I use her? "Yes, I did. "Did she use me? "Of course she (beep) did. "We both knew we were playing with fire. "The reason I strayed has nothing to do with my wife. "We have a good sex life in general, "but I do have some kinks that she is not into at all. "My affair partner was into the same kinks. "That's how we met "and that is why the affair was ongoing for six years. "What led me to starting the affair "was my wife being in an accident "that took a toll on her body. "Sex was off the table for over a year. "I gave into temptation, "and when I discovered the affair partner shared my kink, "I was hooked. "So all you people saying "that my wife was withholding sex and intimacy, no. "My wife and I are very intimate. "Having sex with my wife is making love. "Sex with affair partner is just sex. "My wife meets 90% of all my needs. "My affair partner meets 10%." "So he gets advice on whether or not to tell his wife. "Most commenters tell him to come clean, "but a few don't, including his brother in real life." So this guy's a real piece of (beep) On like am I the asshole posts you have people like, like they maybe know they're doing something wrong but kind of in their head they twist it. This guy is blatantly saying like, "I've had an affair for six years. "I don't think it's wrong." - Well, this is like years of acceptance with this. - Six years, and he's like, "Okay, like, you know, I guess I have to tell my wife. "It sucks that I have to tell my wife." It's like, dude, what the (beep) - I mean, if you do something wrong over and over and over again, it's not wrong anymore. You're just doing it, right? - [Shayne] I guess that like he- - [Angela] Doesn't feel wrong is what I should say. - This has become normal life for him. - Yeah, like someone who's constantly late, they don't feel like they're late when they're always late. You know what I mean? - He's so desensitized. - [Angela] Yeah. - I think there's a psych, okay, don't quote me on this, but I'm pretty sure that there is a psychological study to doing bad acts makes you like desensitized to doing bad acts. Like, and it will make you feel less bad about doing, like it's kind of a retroactive thing of like doing a bad thing can make you worse. Unless you really actively like analyze that. - Here's the other thing, I'm reading a book on polyamory, and he wants a polyamorous relationship, and he, I'm not defending him, but we do not have a lot of research or tools to equip us to even have that conversation. - [Shayne] Sure. - And even sometimes starting the conversation of, "Can we have an open relationship?" rips everything apart, like even the start of it, 'cause we're not equipped yet to be at a place. - I totally understand that. - The lying is what gets it. - The real issue is the lying. - [Chanse] Yes, 100%. - Like that's the real issue 'cause yeah, there are people who are in polyamorous relationships and that is totally fine because there's honesty there. - [Chanse] Yeah. - If two people meet and they go, "Hey, we both wanna sleep with other people," totally great. If they're both like, "Yeah, great," like awesome. - Yeah, he's like explaining the reasons why he's with her sexually and that's not why we need the reason. We need the reason on why you're not talking to your wife. - Right. - He could be- - [Chanse] Yes, say that again. - We don't need the reason why you're sexually attracted to your affair or your partner, we need the reason why you're not telling your wife. - Yeah, 'cause she now for six years has been living in a lie and like not knowing. Like, that's what sucks. Important thing to remember, the affair partner is also married. So yeah, to be clear, where this all started is the affair partner got served divorce papers. So she's getting divorced. And so this guy knows that this is about to like blow up into his life and everything. - What did he say? The storm is the coming. - [Shayne] The calm before the storm. - So we don't know the twist yet. We don't know the twist yet? - We don't know the twist. So we just know that she's getting served divorce papers, and he's like, "I need to come clean to my wife before this all tumbles-" - And his brother's like, "Don't tell her." - He's like, "Don't tell her or minimize it." Which I'm like. - No, no! - (beep) you. - Digging you in a deeper hole. You have to come full frontal clean, not full frontal. - You need to go full frontal. - You gotta go full frontal. - You know what I think that this is that I really hate, I think this is what it is about the lying, is it's the most disrespectful thing you can do. And like there's a quote that, I'll just say it, my mom said this forever ago, is that, she was like, "Respect is more powerful than love." And I think that's true 'cause I know like people talk about love like, oh yeah, like love can go all over places. But like respect is such a choice, and he's choosing to disrespect his wife every day. I mean, like still, and he's still going, "Okay, maybe I'll minimize it if she brings it up." He knows it's a big deal. - Right. - Yeah. - And he's like, "But I'll minimize her feelings. "I'll disrespect how she feels." - Not even to mention the reason why they stopped being sexually active seems like an accident or like seems like a health thing. - Yeah. - That's really (beep) sad. - Yeah. - Also, like, I don't know, he talks about like, this all started, yeah, this all started with an accident to her that took a toll on her body. And it's like, he acts like it was a tough thing for him. - [Angela] Yeah. - I'm like, she also couldn't have sex for over a year. Like, bro. - He really doesn't wanna lose his affair. Like he- - [Shayne] No, well, 'cause he's a cake eater. He's posting on cake eater. - Yeah. - He posted this on, I think this was posted on r/adultery, but it was reposted on cake eater perhaps. The responses were posted on cake eaters. Okay, well let's find out what happens. Do we want any predictions? I know what happens. I can't. - Oh my god, oh my god. Okay, you wanna, one guess? - You first. - Okay. I'm hoping, I'm hoping that... I'm not even hoping that. I think... I'm like, they talked it out. They worked it out. - You think they're gonna work it out? - [Chanse] Him and the wife, yeah. - Okay. - The wife was like, "I'm showing mercy." - [Shayne] Okay. - "I'm believing in us, and I know you." And he's like, "Oh my god, I've never seen this grace from anyone." - He's like, "I'm with her "because we both have the same kink "and it's something so gross to the wife." - [Chanse] Oh, I love that. - She's like, "You know what, "take your cake and eat it too." - "We fart on balloons." - [Angela] Yeah. (Shayne laughs) - She's like, "But you should have asked. "You should have asked 'cause I would've said yes." - She goes, "I'm pissed, but I won't do rabbit stuff," or whatever. (everyone laughs) - "We dress up as bunnies. "We get in Easter bunny costumes." Okay. All right. - Yeah, yeah. - Here we go. "His next post is in the aforementioned cake eater sub, "and it quickly becomes obvious that he did not come clean." First update. "Never saw this coming. "Throwaway posted once before, check it for background. "This is the sub I should be on. "I was prepared for all scenarios, but not this one. "The doom day did not come in the shape I was expecting. "Affair partner ended up convincing her soon to be ex "not to spill the beans to my wife "in exchange for a smooth divorce. "I thought I was in the clear. "Yesterday affair partner sent me a blurry photo of my wife "in the car with another man. "She claimed they walked hand in hand to his car "from a store in a nearby town to ours. "She got a shot of the plates too. "After some digging, I now know she is having an affair. "Don't know how long for sure, but at least six months. "He is a single dad our age "and is telling her to leave the marriage. "She is telling him she loves him. "Afraid to confront her, feel numb at the moment. "Took a day off of work. "Any advice? "I love her and want to stay married. "Edit, any advice on how to proceed? "Should I just let it run its course and monitor? "Should I confront and hope for the best? "Should I confess to my affair "and hope we all can come clean "and make way for a new marriage? "I am so (beep) utterly confused. "I have rehearsed the things I would say and do "if she wants to find out about my affairs. "I was not prepared for this (beep)" "He manages to get ahold of his wife's phone "while she's in the sauna "and confirms the affair over WhatsApp." "Logically, yes, we are both getting our itches scratched. "What's the big deal? "I am not ruled by logic at this moment. "Maybe later, "but now my emotions are overpowering every logic. "Never in my life have I experienced this type of emotional "and physical distress. "I can't even think straight. "Never thought I was gonna ball my eyes out "and throw up on the carpet." - Oh (beep) off. (crew laughs) - "I am desperate to talk this out to know why this happened "and how invested she really is in this piece of (beep) "If she is doing this out of revenge, maybe I have a chance "'cause if so she does feel something for me at least. "I can't imagine her being emotionless, "throwing away our over 20 years. "I know this woman like I know myself. "Deep down she's hurt, but also so very stubborn and proud. "I just wanna know if she knew about my affair, "why the hell did she not confront me? "I would've chosen her over affair partner in a nanosecond. "And what the hell is she hoping to find with this douche? "He is no better than me sleeping with-" - [Chanse] Shut up. - Get him, bro! - Oh my god. - Get him, carpet barfer, get him! - Carpet barfer. - "He is no better than me sleeping with a married woman. "Ah (beep) "I am trying to respect her wish to have some space, "but I am desperate, desperate, desperate "just to talk to her. "Yeah, I don't know how I feel "about being on the other side. "Never had fantasies about my wife (beep) other men. "We had a good sex life minus my kinks she was not aware of, "hence the affair partner. "I am thinking what do I have to lose? "There can be only two outcomes. "She loves him and she leaves. "She loves me and she stays. "I am hoping this is just a fling and nothing serious." God! - [Chanse] Wait, she asked for space, did I miss that? - [Shayne] No, no. I think he's just, he's playing out scenarios. - Oh, okay, okay. - [Kiana] Do you guys wanna predict the next update? - Oh my god, there's another update? - This one keeps updating. - Okay, I will tell you exactly how I would do it. I would go to her and I'll be like, "There are three things we need to talk about." - One! - Nope, three. It's a three step plan. - Oh. - You have to do a three step plan. In my head, you have to do a three step plan. Number one, it's the hardest. It's the hardest part to get away. It's an umbrella. What do we think of having an open marriage? It's kind of hiding that he knows that she's an open marriage and it's burying the hatchet that he's having an open marriage. What do we think about that conversation? That's the first thing we have to talk about, right? And the second thing is, "Okay, great, I have something to admit to you. "I've been having an affair." That's the second thing, right? He's gotta admit it. He's gotta admit it. If they wanna move forward, he's gotta admit it. - Yes. - And then the third thing before, if she doesn't come clean, he's gotta be like, "And I know you're having an affair." - [Shayne] Okay. - Right? - And let me just say, I think the sickest, weirdest (beep) of this all is how did his affair boo find a picture of her in a car? - She snapped a photo of her walking with another man. - What do they live in like a (beep) five person town? - No, you can see somebody at the same grocery store and be like, "(beep) who is she with right now?" - Can I point out something though? Like, the issue is, I see where you're going with that plan. It still doesn't make up for the fact that it's like, "But also I lied to you for six years." And it's like, okay, so if you can lie about this, I can't trust you in any sort of sphere. It's like, can I trust you with money? Can I trust you with like my safety? Can I trust you? Like, that's the issue with lying is it sets up the precedent of like (beep) like I now don't know what to think. - He's got no choice. He's got no choice. - And there's something small that he said that I think is (beep) up. - That he barfed on the carpet, yeah. - No, yeah. "Never had fantasies about my wife (beep) other men." He's only thinking about this as like, "She can do this if it turns me on." It's like, but wait, if you want an open marriage, that's not about like that. - 100%. - I know, you're so right. - 100%. - No, it's like, "Oh, me sleeping with another woman "is for my own satisfaction. "I know it would hurt her, but whatever. "It's for my own satisfaction. "Oh, she can't sleep with other men "because that's not for my satisfaction." - Yeah, right. - When you read that too, I went, what a weird detail to mention. - Why'd you write that? - Why does this always go back to your (beep) kinks, my guy? - Right. - Okay, any predictions? Anything. - Okay, she's not in love with him. Or! Or she knew. Or she knows. - Well, he was kinda saying that. He was like, "This is revenge." So you think it's for revenge? - I think she knew a couple years ago and has since fallen in love, not out of revenge but just because he's absent. And she's gonna leave his ass. - Let's see. - Okay, second update. "My marriage seems to be over. "Confronted my wife this past weekend." - Confronted? - "Sat her down without warning "and told her I knew she was having an affair and with whom. "Asked her if she loved him and what her plan was. "She was caught off guard, "went to the bathroom for 10 minutes. "When she came out, she looked me straight in the eyes "and said, 'I know about your affair too.'" - Yes (beep) Sorry. - And then she breaks into song! - "I know about your affair too. "I have known for some time now. "I love him, and I want a divorce." - Yeah! - "Next days were a blur. "I tried to talk to her, but she shut me down. "She has moved into the spare bedroom "and is making appointments with law firms, "has told our two girls, "I have signed up for emergency therapy, "am on meds for dealing with anxiety and lack of sleep. "This is surreal. "Heard her talk to him last night and cut the internet cord. "Kind of crazy 'cause I need (beep) internet for work "and she just switched to her phone." (everyone laughs) "Oh man, so many emotions are running through me." I love that he writes that out. He writes out, "Oh man." Oh man! "I made love to her past week "and today she is a total stranger. "How does this happen? "How can she not feel any (beep) emotion? "Over 20 years gone. "All the love, friendship, partnership, intimacy, jokes, "memories, plans for our future gone just like that. "No looking back. "Feel so blindsided, "and the only person I can talk to is my brother "who lives across the country. "Sorry to vent here to you fine people on here. "Just need to get this out." He gets his ass handed to him in the comments more or less. - Good! - But I wanted to call out this comment. "Made love to her last week. "How does she not feel any emotion? "This is simple. "She has learned how to separate love and sex. "She has sex with you but love's her affair partner. "You taught her well." 'Cause yeah, that's something he said earlier. There's some comments here. "Anyone else notice that one point he used "to justify his affair "was that his wife wasn't into his kinks, "then he goes on later "to say she wasn't even aware of his kinks? "This guy, man." - Yeah, yeah. - She doesn't even know he likes rabbit stuff. - Yeah, she's not even aware. "Also that she was in an accident that (beep) up her body "and meant she couldn't have sex for a while. "Congrats to him on making her feel extra (beep)" - Right. - "It would be funny if it wasn't so (beep) up. "I truly, deeply, and utterly cannot understand "how someone is capable of functioning "with this level of cognitive dissonance "between his actions and his wife's actions. "I don't get it. "I really don't get it. "How does someone cheat for that long "and manage to be so angry about their spouse's affair? "How do they not see? "People are scary." Yeah. - I think this weirdly goes back to what you said about his view of the world, and his view of the world being that like his wife is having an affair and it doesn't even turn me on, is like a (beep) psychopath. - Narcissist. - Like, he is a narcissist. - All right, so we're not getting to all the stories, but we'll do this again sometime. - Please! - 'Cause there's another, so I hadn't read that story. I had read a different story that was very similar of a guy cheating on his wife and then he finds out his wife's cheating on him, and it also goes crazy in different ways. But same situation where he was cheating and he was like, "Yeah, there's nothing wrong with this." And then she cheats and he's like devastated. Okay. - Stupid. - [Kiana] Last story. - Last story. This one also blew my mind. This is a 26-year-old woman. "My husband, who's 29, is obsessed with my boss, "female who's 38, and it's all my fault." This comes from true off my chest. "I started this job about one and a half years ago. "I can't say what it is because I want us to stay anonymous "and our country is very small, "so my boss would probably be recognized. "The moment I started, I felt like I was in the right place. "My boss, the owner of the company, is very cool and kind. "She's self-made and she loves her job. "She does a lot of the dirty work herself "that bosses who have 30 to 35 employees wouldn't have to do "but she just loves it. "On top of that, we have a six hour workday, "our salaries are 20% higher than the market, "and we have seven paid vacation weeks a year. "Her reasons? "She appreciates us and she's getting richer anyway. "I was so proud of working with a woman like her, "so I wouldn't shut up talking about her to my husband, "especially in the beginning. "My husband was as fascinated by her as I am "until he met her at a company party last Christmas. "She must have been beautiful when she was young. "She could have been a model. "I think his fascination became a crush or an obsession "or maybe worse, love. "Now he follows her on social media. "Her accounts are private, "but he stalks her with my account. "He also follows the company Instagram "and likes every picture she's in. "He asks about her all the time. "She's a very private person, "but when her divorce from her ex-husband was finalized "in the beginning of this year, "we all found out because he started showing up to work. "He owned half of her company now "and he started to try to make changes "in our work hours and salaries. "We found out that her husband had cheated on her "with a younger girl "who he also tried to employ in our company. "She still works with us. "She, probably lawyers involved, "eventually convinced her husband "to sell her back his share. "We're still in this process now. "My husband has followed all this "and he was so sad for her and so angry. "'How could anyone do this when they had a woman like her? "'If it was him, he would cherish her, love her,' "blah, blah, blah. "Who leaves a woman for a girl? "I got very angry and told him "that all men prefer younger women if they could choose. "He laughed at me and told me, 'Only losers do that.' "The last drop was last Friday. "We were out for a movie night "and we saw my boss with a young man. "He looked to be in his mid-20s. "My husband lost it. "He didn't know that she dated younger men. "He wanted us to go say hello, "but I refused and yelled at him to control himself "because he looked pathetic. "When we got back home, "he was frenetically going through her social media "until he found the guy and he sighed in relief. "The guy was her nephew and we didn't see the whole company, "but they were out with other family members. "My husband was so happy, "like a weight lifted off his chest. "I lost it on him. "I started crying and yelling "and told him he was in love with her, "and he was shocked when I pushed "and kicked him out of the bedroom. "I locked the door. "He stood outside trying to calm me down, "telling me he loved me and I'm his girl and always will be. "Then he said something that ruined me even further. "'It's not like someone like her would look my way.'" (Angela gasps) "I haven't slept..." - Ding dong the witch is dead. (crew laughs) - "I haven't slept since then. "Why is he feeling like this? "Is it love, infatuation? "She's too old for my husband, so what is it "and why would he think he couldn't have her? "He's very handsome and still young. "She should feel lucky that a young handsome man likes her "and does he mean I'm less than her to accept him "or is it purely her money and status? "He refuses to admit anything. "And what can I do now? "I love this job, I love the benefits. "Thanks to this job, our life has improved "and we can afford more than just the necessities. "I'm starting to hate my boss though, "and I hate myself for idolizing her in front of my husband. "Edit, sorry, this is getting longer, "but I have spoken to my mother, sister, granny, "and some friends about this "and about what happened last Friday "and they all think I'm making a big deal out of nothing." So strange. So he's obsessed with her boss. - [Chanse] Yeah. - Fully obsessed. - Yeah, like stalker obsessed. - Like, yeah, and like looking at her phone to look at her social media. Any predictions? - Predictions of what? - What do you think is gonna happen next? Like, I mean... I know it's a weird, it's hard to predict on this one. - Yeah, because it's like where does it go? - Do you think their relationship will survive? - No. - [Shayne] No? - No. - No. - They rarely do. - Yeah. - I don't think any of 'em have at this point. - I think... - I think he's gonna shoot his shot. - I was just gonna say the exact same words. Think he's gonna shoot his shot. - She's about to get married and he sends her a text at 6:00 AM. They overlap. - Ooh! - I think he's gonna shoot his shot, she's gonna say no, and he's gonna go back to his current wife. - Okay. Update. "I just found out that my husband, separated, "is dating my boss. "I don't know what to do." (crew laughs) "Hi, I'm in so much pain and I don't know what to do. "I don't wanna do something stupid while hurting. "I got a lot of good advice last time I was here, "so I don't know, "maybe you can help me out with this this time too. "My old post is linked in my bio. "I hope you read it before this one "because I don't want to tell the whole story again. "I went against my family and friends "and asked my husband for separation. "I felt like my heart couldn't take it anymore. "My intuition told me that my husband wasn't all mine. "This was shortly after the event at the movies. "My husband was in total confusion. "He said that I was making a mistake, "making a mountain out of a mole hill, "but he moved in with his brother, however. "We decided to start couples counseling too. "It went well the first three weeks or so, "but my husband became more and more reluctant "to participate and sometimes he just canceled on me "at the last second. "He stopped showing up this month "and he also stopped calling and texting me. "I was even more heartbroken, but it still just solidified "that my intuition was right "and that I was doing the right thing, "seeing that he is not interested in working on us anymore. "I chose not to quit my job. "I still loved it with all the heartbreak "and I really needed the benefits. "Like, I'm the only one I know "who is having a three weeks paid vacation "around Christmas and New Year. "I never see my boss anyway "and she doesn't even know of my existence. "My husband eventually stopped being active on Instagram, "and I thought it was normal. "We were going through adversities until yesterday "when his brother shared my husband's stories of the night. "My husband was in a restaurant holding a woman's hand. "I could only see her hand. "So my husband has just blocked me and my family and friends "from seeing his updates. "I commented 'What the (beep)' "And this morning my husband called me "for the first time in months totally scared "and started begging, 'Please don't ruin this for me. "'Please don't ruin this for me.' "I told him, 'What do you mean?' "He said, 'Don't tell her about us.' "I never made the connection at first. "It never even crossed my mind even. "That woman in the picture was my boss." - No! - "I started crying and screaming at him. "'How could you do this to me? "'How could you tell me that it was all in my head "'when it's obviously all over your Instagram?' "He said it just happened. "I dumped him and he was single "and just happened to find her on Bumble." - No! - "He begged me not to ruin this for him. "She knows he's in the process of divorce, "but she doesn't know that he already knew who she was "or that she was the boss of his soon to be ex. "They have been seeing each other for six weeks, "about two weeks after I asked him to move." (Chanse gasps) "And it's getting serious. "He begged for a good five minutes, "telling me how he hasn't been this happy in all his life." (Chanse gasps) "And that I shouldn't ruin his happiness "since again, I was the one who ended our marriage. "I have been crying since this morning. "I don't know what to do. "I wanna ruin him and his happiness, "but I don't know if I have any right to do that, "and I'm so worried about losing my job. "Please help. "Edit for new information. "Okay, my husband has been calling me nonstop, "and I have now answered him. "He is panicking about me telling her everything, "so he begged me to give him the chance to tell her himself. "His words were, 'I never stalked her or creeped on her. "'I just fell for her and was scared "'that she would think I was creepy "'since you thought the same. "'Give me a chance to tell her the truth at my own pace "'so at least she doesn't think I'm a liar or a freak "'like you seem to think.' "He still swears they matched on Bumble. "I didn't know what that is until now but it is like Tinder. "I'm just so devastated right now. "He has no regard for me and my feelings. "Everything he is thinking of is not to scare her away. "When I told him this, "he said that I was the one who left him. "People fall out of love and that's okay and no one's fault "and that I was in the right for ending the relationship, "but I was the one who ended it all the same. "'Don't hurt us "'and I promise to give you everything you want. "'She is happy with me, so don't hurt us.'" So thoughts. - So he went up to his old wife and was like, "Don't ruin this for me." - He called her. 'Cause she commented on his Instagram, so he called her the next morning being like, "Don't tell her that we're getting a divorce." - Could you imagine commenting on your ex's photo with somebody else going, what the (beep) (Shayne laughs) - Dude. - That is badass. - Because it's only been weeks that they've been broken up for. - The audacity of him to ask her not to ruin it for him. - [Shayne] I know. - No, that's crazy. - Of course she's, and she should not feel bad at all for ruining his happiness. No, (beep) that. She needs to save this woman. - I know. - She needs to save the boss from this crazy town mother (beep) - Are you guys visualizing who this boss looks like? - Yes. - 'Cause I'm visualizing Jessica Rabbit in like a blazer. - [Chanse] Absolutely. (Shayne laughs) I was picturing kind of Jennifer Aniston. - Oh, I love. - Yeah. - Okay, any predictions? - Okay, it's gotta be that this boss finds out and is like, "You're a (beep) creep. "Goodbye." - I'm scared that she... - I'm scared that you're married. - Is he attractive? She's 29. He's 29? - He's 29, she's 38. - What do you predict? You know. - I know. - [Chanse] You know. - I know. - Yeah, I think... I think the boss is gonna find out. Sounds like she's such a badass woman. She'll put the pieces together. - I'm scared that he's gonna get to her first, and he's gonna be like, "She's actually insane. "Like, she's like on meds." - Oh, like the girl. - Like, gaslight her. - Oh, if I know the history of men, that might happen. - Yeah, I know, that's why I'm scared. - Okay. "Hi, please see my previous post "because this is just the update. "I talked to my boss yesterday, Monday after lunch. "I told her everything, "basically how I was so happy I found this job, "how I looked up to her and was proud to be working "for someone like her and that this rubbed off on my husband "who grew more obsessed with her each day. "I apologized for using obsessed "because I didn't know how things were between them, "but that it was how I perceived his feelings. "I told her about the day at the movie "and how it basically made me realize "that our issues were greater than I thought. "I told her that I know and accept that my marriage is over "and that my husband didn't love me anymore "and that the reason I'm telling her now isn't to judge "or blame her, but to let her know the whole story "because it's just fair that she knows "that he has been following her life for over a year now. "'Because from what I understood from my husband, "'you are under the impression that you just matched up "'with him on a dating app,' I said. "She was silent the whole time I was talking, "just listening to me until I mentioned the dating app, "and that's when she interrupted me." - It's a lie. - "That's not how we met." (Chanse screams) (crew laughs) - "'He has been a patron at my gym for the past six months, "'maybe a year,' she said. "I know her gym. "It's the one across our workplace. "She works out there every morning before coming to work. "I didn't know he had joined it "because I knew him to be a member at the gym near our home. "He has been, without telling me, working out "just across the street from me every morning "without telling me. "She looked like how I felt, shocked. "I apologize and told her "that he has kept the dating her a secret from me "and that he begged me not to talk to her, "telling me that he hasn't been this happy and so on. "She didn't say much, just thanked me for telling her. "Today she asked if she could talk to me. "She apologized for everything that happened to me "and asked if I needed any help. "I said no." - Oh my god, I love this woman. - "She thanked me again. "When I got home, my husband was there. "He had called me at least 50 times, "but my phone was on silent. "He was crying, "calling me bitter and vindictive and pathetic. "He said I ruined his relationship and future. "She is scared of him now and it is all my fault. "He wants me to tell her that he is not dangerous "nor is he a pervert. "He wants me to tell her that I was the one "who wanted a divorce and that people fall out of love "and it is nobody's fault and neither is it creepy. "He hasn't done anything wrong. "He stayed faithful to me and would've stayed that way "if I didn't kick him out. "He asked me if I ever felt unsafe with him "to make rumors about him being a stalker and a creep. "I should tell the truth. "I asked him to leave and that I'm starting the divorce "and from now on he could only contact me "once I got a lawyer through them. "I have been crying since he left. "We haven't even seen each other for weeks "and he had no feelings whatsoever for me. "He looked demented and full of sorrow "like a broken little boy. "How could he change this fast? "Before we separated, "he held me and begged me to believe him "and his love for me. "Was it all a lie my whole entire relationship? "Goodnight and thank you for the support. "This is a throwaway and I'll be be deleting it soon. "I just thought I would update before doing that." (Shayne and crew laugh) Dude. Like, that one out of all of them, that's the like, that's the update where I was like, oh my god, like- - He was literally stalking. - That's quite the update. - This was like, this is literally, I've never watched "You" on Netflix, but I'm like, this is some "You" territory. - It is. - Whoa! - To find out like your husband is like actively like stalking your boss. - [Chanse] Yeah. - Insane. - Also I love that throughout this whole thing, she's like slightly prioritized keeping her paid vacation job. You know what I mean? She's like, "I also really don't wanna lose this job." - 20%, 20% more salary. - "Also like this freaking job is so good." God, the freaking like, "We didn't meet on a dating app." - I saw that coming from a mile away. - "He's been coming to my gym for six months." When they actively are members at a different gym. So he signed up for that gym. - Two memberships! (crew laughs) - Like, that means he like, that means he knew- - He knew it was wrong. - No, that means he found out what gym she goes to. - And bought another one! - And started going there. - Also, I just, I love the boss so much. - The boss is incredible. - "How can I help you?" She said, "Do you need anything?" - And gosh, she must have seen like a shift in her face when she said Bumble. Being like, "What?" - Yeah. (Angela screams) - It's the timeframe too of it. It's not like, "Oh, we met at the gym three weeks ago." It's, "No, he started coming to my gym six months ago." Or maybe a year. Like, so literally for a good part of their relationship when he was like, "No, you're being crazy. "Like whatever." He was actively- - Ah, I love those moments when you're spilling the tea and then the other person has tea that makes it- - That you didn't know the tea was coming. - It makes it tea-er. - Yes! (crew laughs) That's so true. - This is two really like badass women like coming together to beat the (beep) - The math starts mathing. - out of sad little man. - It's also sad that she felt so sad after he left again. I'm like, just- - I hate that she says "it's all my fault" in several different updates in this. - [Angela] I know. - I was like, it's not your fault. - Girly, it is not you. - And then all of a sudden she said goodnight and I was like, whoa. - Goodnight? - Goodnight. Like, just, I feel like she should be like the woman in the first story where it's like you had a get outta jail free card. - Yeah. - You got to see him at his worst and you don't have to like deal with him anymore. - Yeah, you're right. - Well, at least in all of these, all the men took Ls and- - [Chanse] Yes. - Had to walk off into the sunset by themselves. - Do you think he worked out twice a day because of that? (Shayne laughs) - Maybe. - Well, I don't think we correctly guessed anything. - No. - But that's how these go. - Thank you so much for these. - Yeah, thank you for joining me. - Learned a lot. - Yeah. In the comments, let us know other subreddits that we should cover or any ideas for this show and themes and stuff like that. Let us know. And thanks for watching, and we'll see you later. Bye!
Info
Channel: Smosh Pit
Views: 3,762,977
Rating: undefined out of 5
Keywords: smosh, smosh pit, smosh games, funny, comedy, smoosh
Id: HaG0abY14tA
Channel Id: undefined
Length: 76min 59sec (4619 seconds)
Published: Sat May 13 2023
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