- It is time for some more
unhinged Reddit stories. I'm Shayne, and today we
have a really awesome guest. We have Spencer. No, I'm just kidding. He's normal. He's been here before. But we do have Zach
from The Try Guys here. Pretty cool. Pretty cool. Zach, thanks for being here. - It's pretty cool. (everyone laughs) - Do you read Reddit much? - Oh, nope. Try not to. - [Shayne] You avoid it? - Stay away. - Okay, smart. - [Zach] Yeah. - I can only respect that. - [Zach] Yeah. - Are you excited for this then? - This is good. - You can see what you're missing out on. - Yeah. You know, I had my time in
Reddit, and it was a time. And now I stay away and, but look, you go down into the depths and you bring the gems out. - It's great. He just reads to us the whole time. - I love a good story time. We're cozy. We're ready. They did take my tea
away, but that's fine. They don't trust me. They think I'm gonna spill. - They took it, they
threw it in the trash. Tossed the cup in the trash. - And spit at me. - Yeah, no, that's how we work here. Before we begin, I noticed something. Am I perfectly... - [Crew] Wow. - Where'd you go? (crew applauds) - Wow, and even the lighter
matches your skin tone. (crew laughs) (Spencer vocalizes) Jesus Christ. It's Ethan Hunt. - Is this my color? - Yeah, yeah. - Is my liver okay? (laughs) - You're a "Simpsons" character, bro. - Dude. Here we go. First story. "Am I the asshole for telling my friend "to stop flaunting her money
and calling her a gold digger?" (Spencer gasps) Okay. - Maybe. - "I, a 39-year-old woman,
have been BFFs with Jill, 40, "since we were in high school. "Between the two of us, she's
always been a bombshell. "Blonde, tall, slim, big boobs, et cetera. "She never dated anyone in high school, "which was weird to me "because almost everyone
in our school did, "including myself. "When we were in college "and she was still turning
guys down, I asked her why, "and she said she wants someone
who is financially stable. "I laughed it off at the time. "I should also mention she grew up poor, "as in her mother was going
to the food bank poor. "After we graduated, she got
a job at a gym teaching yoga. "I continued my education to be a teacher. "She eventually met someone
at the gym and he's rich. "Like, I can't even comprehend "the kind of money this guy has. "Fast forward to now, they're
married with two kids, "and I believe she signed
a prenup when they married. "We were out to dinner on
the Saturday that just passed "with two other friends from college, "and she wanted to go to
a very expensive place. "Her treat. "She does this a lot. "Flaunts her money, clothes,
trips, et cetera, et cetera. "I always try to smile and ignore it, "but it has been slowly bothering me. "The dinner was going fine until
one of our friends, Amanda, "asked Jill what she had
planned for her birthday. "Jill said she and her
husband are going to Greece "for three weeks. "Amanda and Sharon both
made comments about how nice "and lovely that is, and
I kind of scoffed at it." (Spencer laughs) (Spencer scoffs) (Shayne scoffs) (everyone laughs) "When Jill asked me what was
wrong, I admittedly lost it. "I told her I'm tired of
hearing her flaunting her money "at everyone all the time. "And everyone knows she only
married her husband for money. "It got really quiet
for a couple of seconds, "and to my surprise,
Jill very calmly asked "if that's what everyone really thought. "I said, yes. "Jill then asked if it was at all possible "that she initially
dated him for his money, "but fell in love with him along the way. "Both our other friends said, 'of course,' "at the same time, I said, no. "I told her she fell in love "with what he can provide for her. "She then asked me if I love
what my boyfriend provides "for me, which was different "because I never started
dating him for those things. "She countered that
with, 'Of course you did. "'If you were just attracted to him, "'but he wasn't loving, providing, caring, "'you wouldn't still be in
a relationship with him. "'And if you were, it would be an unhappy "'and unhealthy one.' "I argued it's still not the same thing. "She then stood up and said
she has other places to be "and not to worry about the bill. "She left and the three of us
finished our meal in silence. "When the server came around, "he handed me the bill for my meal only." (Zach laughs) - This chick's awesome. This is the best chick alive. Oh my god. - "She paid for herself and the other two, "but left me to pay for an almost $50 meal "that I really couldn't afford. "I texted her and called her an asshole. "She replied saying not
to message her again "until I apologize for
my earlier comments. "I admit I might've been too hard, "but I don't think I'm wrong. "So am I the asshole?" - You might be. - She took us to this
really fancy restaurant, it's called PF Chang's. (everyone laughs) And it's just insane! - I'm not trying to be, you know, I'm not trying to be
money insensitive here, but an entree and two drinks
that's at least 70 bucks. - What's your guys', is she the asshole? - She's absolutely an asshole. - [Shayne] Yeah, yeah, she is. - Yeah, there's clearly another issue. There's something,
something else is brewing. Flaunting your money by like
taking your friends out. Dude, if I had a rich friend
who was constantly treating me to shit, I don't know. I understand how some
people don't like that, but for me, I'm like, "(beep) yeah. "Like, spoil me, bro." - You can pay for my
dinner any time you want. What are you doing tonight and
tomorrow and the next night? Shayne, buy me meals. - But yeah, like people do
have different relationships with money, so it's just like, this did not need to be an
outburst in front of friends, like at the dinner table. That feels like, I mean, that feels super inappropriate to me. - If at any point you find yourself initiating a dinner
outburst, you're the asshole. - [Spencer] Yeah. - Yeah, they've been
friends since high school, so she's seen this friend
through all sorts of things and like she's in a different phase, and she's not like kind of happy that her friend found her dream. Like, found her dream life. You know, it's like, yeah, she's not like
flaunting it in a shitty way. - They should have offlined about it. - She should've just been honest. I mean, it's one of those things where you have to be
vulnerable, like, "Damn, dude. "You know, I feel envious. "Like, I feel-" - [Spencer] Yeah, she needs to- - "Like, I feel bad about my own life "because you've got such
a good thing going." - OP needs to look in the mirror. - She wants her friend to feel bad though, and that's what makes her the asshole. - And to be clear here, Jill married, in her late 30s, early
40s, has two children? - [Shayne] Yeah. - Married with two children. And this girl said, "You only
married him for the money." This is someone who is so
deeply settled into her life, and you are holding onto
high school resentments. No, no, no, no. I don't want to diminish the pain that perhaps she caused
you in your childhood, but I want to tell you, it is time to heal and maybe look at yourself and realize that someone else's
life does not hold bearing on your own. - But it sounds like there
wasn't even high school trauma. Like, it was just like,
"Why aren't you dating?" She's like, "I don't know. "Like, I want a rich guy." It's like, okay. - There's a lot of weird shit. For one of like, "She didn't date anyone, "even though everyone else was dating." It's like, okay? - My friend was a virgin dork. (everyone laughs) - It was strange she was
a virgin 'cause I wasn't. - Yeah. (laughs) - It's just strange. Like, it just feels like she can't grasp other people's lives a little bit. - Just to be clear, the move of paying for
everyone but your friend, most baller shit of all time.
- So funny, so funny. - [Shayne] So baller. - The coolest thing anyone's ever done. - I think OP is the crazy
friend in the group. But she wants this friend
to be the crazy friend. - [Shayne] She thought she ate. - 'Cause the way she talks
about Jill responding, Jill was like, "Is that true?" - [Shayne] Is that true? Yeah. - Like, "Okay, I'm sorry. "Like, I didn't mean for this." It sounds like a sitcom
level of like hysterics. This sounds like a "Seinfeld" character. I just wanna point out,
like, there's some weird shit in her writing. Like, her pointing out
that they got a prenup. I'm like, okay.
- Yeah. You probably should, you probably should. - Why did you throw that in there though? Like, you hate this person, and you're trying to convince
us to hate this person, and it's not working. What's funny, she mentioned the prenup, which also kind of goes
against her hypothesis. - [Spencer] Yeah. - 'Cause it's like, oh,
they'd signed a prenup so she wouldn't get money if they, like, it just doesn't,
none of this adds up, but- - Should we go to Greece? - Yeah, I think we should
do three weeks in Greece. - I think we should do
three weeks in Greece. Let's go meet up with Jill. - Also, OP knows you
don't have to be friends with people you don't like, right? That's not required. Yes, legacy friends is a real thing. Not when you're into your 30s. You drop that shit. Cut it out. - But I think if she were to
stop being friends with her, how does she justify it in her head? She's trying to justify it, and she can't. And so she's trying to find a way. - Okay, give us some comments. I want to know this juicy shit. - "You're the asshole. "So when Jill treats you
and your other friends "for a lovely dinner, her treat, "she's a gold digger flaunting her money. "But when she leaves you "with your portion of the bill
to pay, you can't afford it, "and she's an asshole
for not paying your bill. "You can't have it both ways. "Pick a lane and stick to it." That's very true. "You're the asshole, "eagerly taking her
money for a free lunch, "but jealous when she
spends it with her husband. "I love how Jill left you with the bill." Crying, laughing emoji. "You're the asshole. "Jill could not have handled
that situation more perfectly. "She's not only more beautiful than you "and wealthier than you." (Spencer laughs) "She has more class in her pinky finger "than you possess in your entire body. "And jealousy is consuming you. "That must be a terrible way to live." Yeah, I didn't think of that element. She probably like, this
friend, she mentions like, oh, she was always so
beautiful and like perfect. But she was like, but I have
some sort of standing over you. - I think she's jealous of the husband. I think she's in love with Jill. - Whoa. - (beep) it. Print it.
- Whoa. - "Jennifer's Body" situation. - Yeah, yeah, exactly. - It's contentious 'cause
everyone feels different. And you mentioned like
finance is important. But some people finances are
a consideration in marriage. Like, that matters to some people. And at the end of the day,
if two people are married for whatever reason they're married is like straight up their business. - [Spencer] Yeah. - She's trying to like
say they're not in love. I don't know. It just doesn't feel like it's- - It's like that's not your choice. That's not your like... - All right. Like, even if she was like, "Yeah." It's like, all right. - It's like okay then okay. - Okay, so let us proceed. - Yeah. (everyone laughs) - You know, I don't know. - If OP is watching, a lot of people are calling
you an asshole right now. I wanna say just focus on yourself. You don't need, someone else's life does not
hold bearing on your life. Eyes on your own paper. Who gives a shit what
your friend is doing? You're too old for this shit. - [Shayne] That's so true. - Book your own Greece trip. - Yeah, dude, go to Greece. - I'll go with you. - Even though you're not as hot as Jill. - Yeah. (crew laughs) - That's true. - Next story. "Am I the asshole "for asking my girlfriend
to use different body wash?" - Huh. - [Shayne] Okay. - Okay. - Let's hear him out. (Shayne laughs) - All right, buddy. This post was on August 12th,
2023, so this is recent. - Okay. This person still stinks. (everyone laughs) - "The main thrust of this
post is I am allergic to nuts "and my girlfriend's body
wash contains almond oil. "It isn't life threatening "for me to come in contact with
it, but it does cause hives. "I asked my girlfriend Jess to
change the body wash she uses "as I am getting hives from
residue of her body wash "in the shower. "Jess was initially fine with it "after a small back and forth, "but has since spoken to friends "and believes that I am
being too controlling "as do her friends. "My friends are mostly neutral "with a couple saying
that I need to nut up "and let her use whatever she wants." Okay. "A little bit of added context "is that we recently decided
we wanted to move in together "and decided to do a trial run "as Jess still lives with her parents "and I rent my own place. "So it's easy enough for
her to move in with me "for a few months "to see if living together
full-time works for us. "It's never been a problem before now "as I've never had a
reaction from touching Jess "after she uses it. "But I'm having a
reaction from the residue "that is left in the shower, "usually on the removable shower head, "which I need to use to get
clean because I'm a big dude "and just leaving it up there
doesn't reach everywhere. "Jess has always been
aware of my allergies. "She doesn't eat nuts "if she knows we are going
to do anything together. "And the few times when she has, "she thoroughly brushes her
teeth before seeing me." So that's the post. - I was right. I was right. - Yeah, I feel like
that's pretty cut and dry. - Change your (beep) body wash. What are you talking about? As someone with sensitive skin over here, I get all sorts of itchy, it is not fun. - Like, "Hey, I'm allergic to that." It's like, "You're being
really controlling right now." - Stop. You're being really (beep) up. - It's like, no. You know, it's the thing where people kind of weaponize
these like therapy terms. I mean, it's not to to that extent, but it's like this is not controlling. This is like, you know, a relationship. You know, you have to make concessions. Like, you're not always
gonna align on things. And sometimes, especially if
you're gonna live together, it's like, "Hey, I'm allergic to this." It's like, okay- - Are people (beep) insane? - Yeah. - What are you talking about? Why are we having this conversation? Change your goddamn body wash! It's making me itchy, okay? I have hives on my body. There are 8,000 body washes in the world. I'm sorry that you can't
smell like (beep) nuts, - Almond oil smells pretty good. - Change your goddamn body wash! I have hives on my body! Okay, if I have the wrong
detergent in my bedsheets or in my shirt, my armpits
get red and they crack, and it hurts and it's
itchy and it's not fun. If I drink the wrong thing,
I shit for days, okay? Allergies are serious,
and they're not fun. I'm not doing this 'cause
I'm trying to control you. I'm doing this because my body hates me. Evolution should have weeded me out. (Shayne laughs) I'm a weak person. You need to help me out. I'm a wounded little baby bird. (beep) protect me. Oh my god. Go to hell. (crew laughs) - So I think we know how Zach feels.
- Am I the asshole? (everyone laughs) - No. - Yeah. - [Shayne] No. - And the consensus is... - So my theory, 'cause he talks about like when he first brought it up to her, there was a bit of a back and forth. And then she went, so it sounds like she was
hesitant from the get-go. I don't think she told her
friends the full story. I don't know if she told
them that he's allergic. - She's like, "So he's-" - He's asking me to change my body wash. - He tells me I (beep) stink. - Yeah, that's my theory, but
I could be completely wrong. So there's a comment here. "Not the asshole. "It's crazy to me that
she's even questioning that, "let alone thinking you're controlling. "It's a health issue." OP responded, "I think that because
it's not life threatening, "they see it as unnecessary
for her to have to change it. "They think that me getting
her to do so is controlling "because it's not needed." - Okay, sure. - I fully disagree. That's just- - Unless there's something
where that's being left out of the story, it's cut and dry. - He was voted not the asshole, so... - Dump her. - Yeah. - Update. So six days later on August
20th, this was posted. "I know that I only responded
to like one comment, "but the amount that I received
was honestly overwhelming. "So thank you to everyone who responded. "I did read all of them. "I thought I'd post this update "to tell you guys what happened "and explain a little bit of
why I made the initial post. "For those who are wondering about ages, "I'm 21 and Jess is 25. "My friends hover around my age "and hers hover around her age. "I wish I could come back and say "that I had seen my own value "and got myself outta the relationship. "But the truth is that Jess
broke up with me two days "after the post. "I was still thinking "and she asked to meet
up to discuss things. "I went in hoping for the best, "but was met by her telling
me that it wasn't working "and she didn't see a future for us "where we were both happy. "That hurt a lot. "I've spent the past few
days sort of realizing "how stupid my original post here was. "Of course I'm not an asshole "for not wanting to come into contact "with something I'm allergic to. "I think a lot of you probably wondered "why I even had to ask. "The truth is that I felt
like I was going crazy. "I genuinely liked and
respected her friends. "I thought they were really smart. "So to be told that this was
the opinion of my girlfriend "as well as theirs made
me take it very seriously. "When I went to my friends "and received no support or validation, "I started to convince
myself that I was wrong. "I also actually learned from the comments "that continued exposure
could worsen my reactions, "so that's handy to know now." Wow. - Am I the asshole? Every time I go to kiss my girlfriend, she rubs peanut butter on her lips first. (everyone laughs) And I just, I don't know if
I wanna come into contact with that. I love that she called him
for coffee and is like, "A world where I don't smell like nuts "is a world that I don't wanna live in." - Yeah. My theory on that is it
sounds like she was checked out of the relationship before
this issue even came up. And like, she just, I don't know. 'Cause it's so, I think
if she cared about him, you'd think like, yeah, but it sounds like she didn't
care about him at this point. Like, she's done. - The age gap, it's not problematic. It's just a little funny to me. 21-year-old dude dating
a 25-year-old chick. It's a little funny. (Shayne laughs) It's not like deeply funny. It's just like, it's like, okay, why are you dating a little dude? (everyone laughs) I don't know. - What's funny is when I was 21, if a 25-year-old woman dated
me, I would've thought that. - Right. I'd be like, "Why?" - Why are you dating me? There was one comment on this. "This dude dodged a bullet. "I can't imagine not wanting
to fix something easy "to prevent someone else "from having negative health effects. "The fact that she went "as far as to call him
controlling is crazy. "I feel for the next dude
she treats terribly." - There's gotta be more
that we're not hearing. - Yeah. - Because again, this is one side. Like, what else is this
guy doing that pushed her to feel like he was controlling her or what else is going on in her life? I don't know. - But like, even if my partner was like, "I don't like the way
that body wash smells," I'd be like, "Well, like I'll change it." Like, I don't know. Unless I have a condition where I have to use that body wash. And maybe I'm just a pushover. - If she tells me that
she doesn't like my shoes, I'm throwing them away. Whatever the (beep) you say I'm doing it. I'm just happy to have you. - Yeah, I'm just happy to be here. No. I mean like- - It's an honor to be nominated. - If it's like an easy pivot, like... - Yeah. Another element is they
recently moved in together. Yeah, they're doing like a
trial run of moving in together. - Which is smart. - And I do think for relationships, it can like make or break super fast. She might have just been not fed up that he's doing anything
wrong, but she's fed up because they have very
different living situations. It sounded to me like she
had a lot of animosity towards him. - Can I just say across
the board, point blank, don't move in with your
partner when you're 21. You're too young. Don't do it. - But I will say like
moving in with someone is a- - Oh, it's huge. - It's a huge thing. And I have often said the things that I think make or break a relationship are like what your bathroom
counter looks like. - Yeah. - Like, how you organize your drawers. That shit will rip a relationship
apart faster than things that you think are huge. - That's why I think a trial run, I think that's really smart. - Yeah. And look, this is what it was for. And they both realized- - And you failed. - And they failed the trial run. And he's super young. He should not, like I think don't
tolerate that type of stuff when you're 21. Be like, "Hey, you know,
I'm gonna try it out "with some someone else." Next story. "Am I the asshole "for telling my girlfriend
her '90s nostalgia was cringey "and to move past it?" All right, (beep) you, dude. (everyone laughs) (beep) you, bro.
- The '90s were, a lot happened in the '90s. What's the nostalgia for? - Yeah. She loves George H W so much. Okay. "My girlfriend is obsessed with the '90s. "We were both born in the
beginning of that decade. "This wasn't a problem
until we moved in together "at the beginning of this year." - There it is. - There it is again. "She has one of those
built-in VCR player TVs "and a (beep) ton of videotapes." Badass. - Sick. - "She has console games too. "The newest being the N64. "She loves the hell outta that damn N64 "and constantly wants me to play with her. "I can't stand it. "The graphics are so bad. "She doesn't like newer games "because the graphics are
scary, whatever that means." (everyone laughs) "Those days-" (Zach yells) - Sorry, I thought it was real. (Shayne yells) (beep) What is this? - Thought that train was
coming outta the screen. (everyone laughs) - What is this? It's a Game Cube. I can't do this. - The mansion that
Luigi's in, it's so scary! - "Those damn videotapes
take up so much space. "It's ridiculous. "She only has about 10 tapes
she watches constantly. "I thought it would be nice
to get her these on DVD. "She never even opened them. "Things came to a head today. "When my girlfriend likes a song, "she will listen to that
one song on replay for days. "This was the situation. "I came home from work to
hear 'You Were Meant For Me' "by Jewel for the (beep)
millionth time this week." - Dude, growing up with my mom be like... (everyone laughs) - "I got enough of that song in the '90s. "We should have left it there." Bro. "I think there's only so
many times someone can hear "that (beep) song before it
becomes psychological torture. "All of the frustration I've felt "for these things was unleashed upon her. "She didn't even have anything to say. "She just sat there looking sad. "I did feel a bit bad, "but I think these things
needed to be said." He's speaking to the wrong crowd too, 'cause I think on Reddit- (Spencer yells) They'd be like, "This is the
best woman on the planet!" - My VHS. - My girlfriend only wants
to play N64 all the time. It's like, badass. - My girlfriend wants to
name our daughter Link. (Shayne laughs) - I think you, I don't
know, hate your girlfriend is what I'm hearing, 'cause like, I don't think that any of
these things are good or bad. It's clearly who she is. - It's really funny she's scared
of modern graphics though. - That's pretty funny. - Yeah. - [Shayne] That's really funny. - I mean, look, you found a girlfriend who's got her little fun TV and her VHS and you don't like it. Like, that's on you. - I would say, let's just break down the
different elements here, 'cause there's a lot of am
I the assholes within this. If your partner were playing
one song on loop forever and ever and ever, I
think that you can say, "Hey, I've heard this
song many, many times. "Maybe little AirPods," well, I guess she probably
has a Walkman, so (laughs) - At no point does he say that they've had conversations
about this before. Like, he just blew up on her. Some comments here. "You're the asshole. "Of course she doesn't
have anything to say. "Her partner jumped on
her for liking something. "What do you really love? "Now imagine your girlfriend
telling you it's stupid "and that you should stop. "Not nice. "Don't be a jerk." "You're the asshole. "I hate 'Seinfeld' specifically "because the damn show
is on repeat in my house. "I want to drown Kramer in a bucket, "but seeing my boyfriend
laugh and smile is-" - Kramer would never fit in a bucket. He's way too tall.
- First of all... - "But seeing my boyfriend laugh and smile "is 100% worth grinding my teeth to nubs "every time I hear Elaine's
stupid fricking voice." Okay, you lost me there. (Zach laughs) "He has no idea I hate it. "I'd never ever take away a single thing "that brought him joy." Someone commented,
"Don't hate on the N64." - I think this guy just sucks
at "Super Smash Brothers" and is frustrated. - He's like, "Can we
please play 'Ultimate'?" And she's like, "No, that's scary." (Spencer laughs) "Link looks way too real." We're biased because I feel like we have
a lot of '90s nostalgia. - I get it though. The N64 does kind of suck. - We should cut that. (everyone laughs) - It's like the controller's terrible. Like, most of the games like
run at like 20 frames a second. Like, I'll pop on "Mario 64" occasionally. Like, that game and "Super
Smash" have aged really well. The majority of the- - A sniper dot. - The majority of the N64
library like is not great. - [Shayne] You wanna lock- - I'm saying that with my whole chest. - You wanna lock that in on this video? - I'm locking that in. - [Kiana] Final answer? - Kiana, like, look, we're
not editing that out? - [Kiana] You're the Director of Games. - I'm fine with that. I think it's one of the worst controllers. It's like, you know, it's
not my favorite console. I have a lot of nostalgia for it, but objectively, if you don't
have nostalgia for the N64, it's not good. - I am not going to say anything. - I tried downloading
"GoldenEye" on Switch. - "GoldenEye" is awful. (everyone laughs) - Holy crap. - Great music. Like, iconic like sound effects. But like the actual gameplay infuriating. - Maybe you just suck. - Valid, valid. This is my take. This is 100% my take. - You're allowed to have that, man. - [Spencer] I'm allowed to have that. - Comments, do your thing. But relative to other
consoles at the time? - No, I just mean like, it was like kind of like
the early onset of 3D, like it was really hard to do like, so that's why like the best ones, like "Mario 64" has aged super well. - Did you write this post? - Yeah, yeah. I hate my girlfriend. (Shayne laughs) Yeah, that's all I have
to say about the N64. - Okay, man, all right. - That's all I have to say. You just finished a 10 minute monologue. - The boyfriend is not raising
these legitimate issues. (Zach laughs) - Tune into every Smosh
Games livestream on Thursdays from here on out where the chat
will be talking about this. (everyone laughs) - Yeah. - No. I think the ultimate thing
that we're taking away here is don't hate on something
people like, you know? Or don't tell them not to like it. - Also, understand that what people like is part of who they are. - Yeah. That's a good- - Right. - That's important. - This is what you signed, I mean, yeah, if you don't like this, like again, you just don't
like your girlfriend. - I wanna say, here at this office, we are a very opinionated
bunch and we love video games, we love movies and TV, and everyone here has
very different tastes. And the way we converse
is very respectful. We have this type of conversation where someone will be like,
"Oh dude, I love that movie." And they'll be like, "Dude,
I think that movie's trash." But we're not saying like,
you're stupid for liking it. We're just offering
different points of view. But we're acknowledging,
hey, that's my point of view. Doesn't mean you're wrong, and I'm right. Just that's my point of view. And that's fun. But when it goes to this, it's bad, bad. - Also what? You think I'm gonna not watch
my VHS of "Dunston Checks In" for the 80th time this week? - [Spencer] Oh, hell yeah. - VHS tapes are sick as hell. That aspect of this I think is so cool. - You have any VHSs
that you watched so much that you burned a hole in the tape? - I did that when I was a kid
with "Beauty and the Beast." - [Zach] Yeah. - There were definitely
movies that I watched a lot. I remember the tapes would get messed up, and you have to stick the
pencil in and rewind it. Or like, you'd have to
fix the crinkly tape. - I had a combo VHS/DVD player in college. And when I was driving up to college, I went over a bump and so
the DVD got stuck in there. - What was it? - "Josie and the Pussycats." - Nice. - Next story. Okay. "Am I the asshole for
buying a murder house "and not having a problem living in it? "Throwaway because I don't
want this on my main." All right. - Throwaway is a, this is not- - Throwaway account. They made a brand new
account just for this post. - [Zach] Cool, cool. - "I'm a 40-year-old man. "My fiancee Sarah is 37
and her daughter Kim is 16. "Kim's dad died when she was six. "Cara and I met when Kim was 10. "I didn't meet Kim until we
were together over a year "and knew things were serious. "My relationship with Kim isn't parental, "but we get along without
fuss most of the time. "I feel more like an uncle
figure than a parental figure." - You're the asshole. (everyone laughs) It's your (beep) stepdaughter, bro. It's your fucking step, no. I don't really see her as a daughter. She's just kind of like
a dude I live with. (everyone laughs) The (beep) are you talking about? - A dude who happens to
be a 16-year-old girl. - [Zach] Oh my god. - "Cara's mother was just
in a major car accident, "and she couldn't leave Kim "due to her online school schedule. "Kim had friends over without permission "the last time she was
left alone for a few days." (beep) "So Cara asked if she could stay with me "for the next few weeks. "She doesn't have a firm return date yet. "And I agreed. "I bought a house a few years ago "and finished the renovations
and remodel last fall. "I got it cheap because
a murder occurred here "over a decade ago."
- Oh. - "And no one touched
it until I fixed it up. "It's not like there was
blood or anything anywhere. "And the way I see it, "someone probably died in
most houses and buildings "that exist."
- Preach. - "It sucks, but death is everywhere. "Kim has been staying
with me since Saturday, "and she even seemed excited
when I gave her the grand tour. "I showed her the basement hangout "and said she could have a
friend or two over if she wanted "so they could have some fun. "After all I know she's
worried about her grandma. "I even showed Kim the room
I put together for her, "which made her cry 'cause
she must have thought she'd "just be in a guest room." - Yeah, 'cause she wants a dad. (everyone laughs) - "I wanted her to feel at home "because this would be her home "when she and her mother move in. "Things were going great "until I found Kim crying
in the kitchen this morning. "She went for a walk when she woke up, "and upon chatting with a
neighbor down the street, "learned about the murder that happened." - What? - Hey, you moved into that house, eh? (crew laughs) - I thought that, I thought for sure- - That's literally what she talked to. - I thought that's like a
(beep) "Scooby-Doo" setup. But I thought for sure it was
gonna be the dad setting up. I thought the dad was gonna be like, "Me trying to bond with my
16-year-old stepdaughter." - Well, 'cause he didn't tell her- - No, I'm glad. - He didn't tell her. Literally she walked down the
street and there's just like, "So looking to enter that house, eh?" All right. - See you're in the McGillicuddy house. (everyone laughs) - [Shayne] Literally, this is- - Nasty business. - "The neighbor was very descriptive "and told her far more
details than I knew." - Jesus. - "And Kim asked why I didn't tell her. "I was honest and told her "that I knew a major crime happened, "but it was over a decade ago by now. "It's not that I don't care, "but the price of this house
was too good to pass up. "There's no way I could have
afforded a house this nice "and this big under normal circumstances. "Kim demanded that I sell the house "because she doesn't wanna
live here when she and-" - Not listening to a 16-year-old girl telling me to sell my damn house. - "Kim demanded I sell the house "because she doesn't wanna live here "when she and Cara move in with me. "I told her that's not happening. "Cara is too preoccupied with her mom "to deal with this right now. "But Kim is at my throat. "Kim thinks I'm cruel for
not caring enough about her "to sell my house. "When I told her that I care about her "and even made sure she has her own room, "she snapped and said
that I just don't get it. "Am I an asshole for not
having an issue living here?" - I wanna know about the murder. - Yeah. So Kim, the daughter, talks
to probably this, in my head, creepy ass neighbor who
goes into full detail, more details than he knew. And now she's just thinking
about that in this house. Of course she probably is like,
"Dude, I cannot live here." But he's also, look,
as an adult, he's like, "Dude, I bought a house. "Like, I'm not gonna sell a house. "Like, I can't afford a different house." Now I'm saying this without context. I think there's some context
in the comments here. - Even before the context, can I say, I think he's asking the wrong question. It's not, "Am I the asshole "for being okay living in this house?" It's, "Am I the asshole "for not treating my future
stepdaughter like a daughter?" Like, he's treating her just
like some (beep) roommate. - How long have they been together? - You need to care about
what this person thinks and you need to work to
make her comfortable. It's not like, yeah, great that
you have no problems living in this house. Your family has a problem
living in this house, and you need to be a
father figure and step in. - Well, I think he said, "Cara is too preoccupied with her mom "to deal with this right now,
but Kim is at my throat." So the mom hasn't necessarily said that she doesn't want
them to live there yet. - [Zach] Right. - So I think if he and
Cara both agree like, "Hey, no, we're gonna live
here," as the parents, then that's- - Then there's a pathway to do that. - And she's 16 so two
years, yeah, that's scary. Look, if I was in her shoes, I'd be, me at 16, I'd have been terrified. I'd been like, "I'm gonna
get killed by a ghost." - But if this happens in
my life, I'm not like, "Hey Reddit, am I the asshole?" It's like, no, I'm
working with figuring out how to make her comfortable
and working through that. Not like, "Hey, my 16-year-old
stepdaughter's a real dick, "right?" (everyone laughs) - Let's see if the comments
clear some stuff up. Here's a comment from OP. "I was planning on sitting them down "and discussing the house's
history soon anyways "due to their lease
ending after the summer. "But I hadn't thought that
my neighbors would gossip "about what happened before
I could talk to them first, "especially Kim because
she's still a kid." Someone else said, "No one's the asshole. "As a rule, I don't like to
call teenagers the asshole here, "especially ones going
through major life changes "like Kim is, which is why
I said no one's the asshole "versus not the asshole. "Teens behave irrationally
to adults all the time, "and they have big emotions. "It's not surprising to me
that a teen is more creeped out "by living in a murder
house, as you called it, "than an adult who
understands the cost of homes "and the fact that death
happens everywhere. "Teen horror movies
literally use murder houses "as plot devices, "especially given she was
told this by a stranger "and given too many details "instead of having a trusted adult "explain the house's history to her "and why it's not dangerous
to live there now. "Though, if there's any
assholes in the story, "it's the neighbor." I agree. The neighbor is an asshole. The neighbor's weird. He sees some 16-year-old
he has never seen before in his life, and he is just like, "You wanna hear a scary story?" (Spencer laughs) - It's such a horror movie setup. - You want me to ruin your life? Response from OP to that comment, "This response really
helped me see a new angle "that I hadn't considered. "I think that considering the details, "it was domestic abuse,
a man killed his wife, "and the fact that her mother and I are "about to get married,
okay, the gears are turning. "I need to have a serious heart
to heart with her tonight. "Hopefully dinner from her
favorite place will help. "Thank you for your perspective." That is true. This is the beginning. - He's flaunting his money. - Yeah. - He's taking her to, yeah. - Nothing like a little PF
Chang's to tie things over. - "No one's the asshole but your neighbor. "What were they thinking? "I don't think Kim has a right
to demand you sell your home, "but I'm gonna give her
leeway for being uncomfortable "and anxious due to her grandmother's "situation."
- And 16. - [Shayne] And 16. "And your neighbor being-"
- And a child. - "Inappropriately
detailed about the murder." I mean, look, I just think this is a
(beep) creepy ass neighbor. - [Spencer] Yeah. - I would be more scared of the neighbor than the murder house. - No, and I think especially
the nature of the crime. Like, I think it's
gonna be super important that he talk to her and also,
yeah, I mean we're not even, I don't even think we have
time today to go into the, like him being like, "Oh, like I see myself
as more of an uncle. "Like, blah, blah blah." Like that's- - Yeah, that's a definitely added layer. - That's a whole different can of worms where it's like, you know, I mean maybe that's a discussion
he had with his partner. Like, "Hey, I don't want
you to be a father figure. "Like, she doesn't need that." Like maybe there's another man that is a, or another person that's a father figure. - Can I tell you, I feel like I would
accidentally be that neighbor. I'd be like walking-
- Really? You think you would do that? - And be like, "Oh, you moved in. "Really (beep) up stuff happened there. "Oh, it's crazy." - I think that's, but a kid, like a kid though adds the
layer of like, if I see a, for one, honestly, and I don't
know who this neighbor is. The neighbor could have
been another teenager for- - This actually does remind me, 'cause on my block there's a family that moved into a murder house and they have a 16-year-old daughter, and I just had a very
similar conversation. - Wow, okay. - Wait a second... - Wait a minute. - How recent is this post? - But also like, look, if
the neighbor's a grown man, I think it's weird that a 16-year-old girl was walking down the street
and he was just like, "Hey! "Hey!" Why are you talking to her? - He's like, "So you know the lore?" (Shayne laughs) - He was just trying to
kick off a side quest. - Yeah.
- Yeah. This episode is brought
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Help, H-E-L-P, .com/pitreddit for 10% off your first month. All right, back to the show. All right, next story. "Am I the asshole for letting
my friends call me Daddy?" - I think we can move on. - Let's see. - I think we're good. This is- - For letting them? That means they want to. - "Throwaway. "Yes, I think this is a weird story too." All right, this is gonna be crazy. "For the past year or so, "I, a 25-year-old woman,
have had the nickname Daddy "in our friend group. "It just started as a joke
when we were all together, "and I jokingly told a friend "to stop being glued to
your phone all the time. "Ugh, millennials. "We all laughed, and he said, 'Sure, Mom.' "And I said, 'I'm not your mother, "'but you may call me Daddy.' "So it was really just a joke that stuck. "When we went bowling, someone
entered my name as Daddy, "and stuff like that
has happened since then. "Now onto the problem. "A couple months ago when
we were all meeting up "at a friend's place,
they all screamed 'Daddy' "when I arrived. "And apparently the
host's girlfriend thought "that was weird. "She told me she was
really freaked out with it. "I explained it was just a joke. "She said she kind of found it disgusting "and told her boyfriend not
to call me that anymore. "We stopped the conversation there. "The only thing that happened that night "is when another friend called me Daddy, "she made gagging noises, "but no one said anything else about it." (Zach gags) "Small things have happened since then. "Like, I know she talked
about me behind my back, "how I sexualize all my friends,
have weird kinks and stuff. "I'm literally asexual, LOL. "But she doesn't know that. "Now at this point, I'm frustrated "and ask my friends not to call
me Daddy when she's around, "hoping she and I can become
better friends that way. "Her boyfriend is still a great friend, "and I don't wanna make things difficult "for something as stupid as a nickname. "Not all of my friends agreed with me, "but I haven't really been called Daddy "in her presence since then. "But the big problem happened yesterday. "We were all Skyping, not including her, "but including her boyfriend, "and playing Pictionary online together. "In the game, you insert
a name per player. "The host put Daddy as my name. "We were playing for about 20 minutes "when the girlfriend walked
into the webcam's view "for the first time. "We didn't know that she was in the room. "She had heard Daddy a
few times at that point. "She then said, "'You know, it's really
wrong to be called daddy "'when you're not a father "'and not being addressed
by a young child.' "Now I was-"
- She's gatekeeping! - "Now I was very shocked "at the sudden change of atmosphere, "so I said, and I think
I'm the asshole here, "'Well, is it wrong for your boyfriend "'to call you sweetheart
when you're so salty?' "And then his line disconnected." - She cooked. She cooked. - Oh shit. - Damn. - [Spencer] Damn. - You know, you can't be an
asshole when you drop bars. - Yeah. (Shayne laughs) - "None of us have been able
to reach him or her since then. "And I'm afraid we lost a friend "because I didn't stop my
friends from calling me Daddy. "It didn't even matter to me that much. "I wouldn't have missed the nickname. "I'm also gonna apologize
for the salty comment "because that was out of line anyway. "And also, I don't know
if we missed something, "if someone could tell me
why daddy is so offensive? "It's possible it's a
very wrong thing to say "and I didn't realize." No, this lady's crazy. - The girlfriend.
- The girlfriend. - Yeah. - Yeah, no, the, the
girlfriend is being so weird. - I think she probably
came at it the wrong way when she was like, "Hey, like, it's like
gross when they call you." Like, maybe like, "I am
uncomfortable with it." And if you frame it like that, then everyone might be a
little more sympathetic. But like calling it like objectively gross or objectively like blah blah blah, it's like, okay, like I don't, that's... - It just sounds controlling as hell. Like, to come into a friend group and be trying to change a dynamic. And also she's like, when someone said it, like
she made gagging noises. I'm like, are you in high school? Like, what the hell? - You guys don't understand. When I was a kid, my dog got hit by a car, and the license plate said Daddy. - See, we didn't think of that. - [Shayne] We didn't think of that. - That's reframing it. - Didn't think of that. As far as nicknames go
too, it's pretty mild. I feel like a lot of people
have some weird ass nicknames. - What about Daddio? - Daddio. That's cool. - I might draw the line at Daddio. - You know, some people have
like problem with moist, right? So I'm trying to think
like if the nickname was, "Hey, Moisty," and she was like (gags) You know, like maybe
she just has some weird- - But that's fine if she's like, "Hey, I don't want to-" - There's a better way to go about it. - But no, they're having a Skype call where they're just them
and she comes into it. I just think this is super- - What if she's trying to
mix things up in the bedroom? She's starting to call
her boyfriend Daddy, and then enter this person
whose nickname is Daddy. And she's like, "I can't." - She's ruining it for 'em. - She's ruining the Daddy dynamic. - I'm curious, you know,
'cause she said like, "Small things have happened since then. "Like, I know she talked
about me behind my back, "how I sexualize all my friends, "have weird kinks and stuff." - That part, that's weird. - "I'm literally asexual,
but she doesn't know that." I think she's- - [Spencer] Yeah, that's
like you're making- - This woman's a bad person. - You're making shit up. - This girlfriend is a bad person. - I think for the sake of the friendship, it sounds like the original poster is going about this very maturely. - I think let's call them Daddy. - Sure. Daddy's being very mature about this. - Daddy's being very mature, Kitten. (Zach laughs) - Am I Kitten? - I don't know. - Kitten would be where maybe I'd be like, all right, this is a little strange. - [Zach] Whatever. - But you guys do your thing. (Spencer laughs) - I think Daddy should
reach out and be like, "Look, I don't control the nickname. "I know that it makes you uncomfortable. "I've asked them to stop
saying it in front of you." - Daddy did all they could in their power. - Daddy don't no likey. And I'm sorry for saying
what I said to you. But know that you are not the asshole. This person is crazy. And this happens in friendships. Your friends start dating
people who are weird. And I think for the
sake of the friendship, it is good to try and mend it 'cause you don't wanna lose a friend, and you also don't want to
be the person that's like, "Hey, your girlfriend sucks." Don't get in between 'em. Let him figure that out on his own. - Comments here. "Not the asshole, Daddy." (everyone laughs) - Yes! - Oh Daddy, my Daddy. (everyone laughs) - "Not the asshole. "She was probably jealous "and afraid of losing her boyfriend. "Based on the little you put in here, "she sounds controlling
and when/if they break up, "she will blame. "Don't be sorry, I laughed. "That was a good comeback." OP responded, "That did cross
my mind that she was jealous. "There are other girls
in our friend group. "One is gay and the other
is in a relationship. "So maybe that's why she
has a problem with only me? "But I'm not even the closest with him." I mean, it's perceived, you
know, it's not about what's- - You see a single Daddy, you
might get a little protective. - "Not the asshole. "accusing you of being overly
sexual with friends is rich "coming from someone who
takes an innocent nickname "and insists that it is sexual and wrong. "Someone's got issues. "Unrelated, I found
your comeback hilarious. "Thanks for the laugh." Someone said, "Overall not the asshole. "But the comment on Skype
was an asshole comment, "and I'm glad you're apologizing for it. "I think she's justified
in being a little iffy "about the nickname, "but she's trying to say that it's wrong "whenever she should be saying
that she's insecure about it. "She needs to take the blame "for the change she wants to happen." - I think, yeah, taking
ownership for your own feelings is important.
- Yes. Yeah, she's trying to come and
be like, "You all are wrong." 'Cause it's such a recent change. I feel like in the past few years, it's become like mainstream. But like Daddy, like now
it does have so many layers of connotations to it. But like, I don't know. I'm of the opinion like
nicknames could be whatever if it's amongst a group of friends and they're just joking around. I don't care. - I'm so sorry. I'm gonna ask your friends
to stop calling me Daddy. From now on, I'm Big (beep) Joe. (everyone laughs) - Yeah. What if she's just like,
"Okay, you can call me Mommy." (everyone laughs) All right, next story. - Tell us the next story, Daddy. - All right. - Daddy, read to me. - Sing me a song, Daddy. - Hush.
- Sorry. - Hush, Kitten. - "Am I the asshole for
telling my colleague "that she basically called
her newborn daughter Luigi?" (Zach laughs) - Nothing wrong with that. - First of all, Luigi's dope as (beep) That's my go-to on "Super Smash Brothers," and I'll kick your ass. - Questionable. (everyone laughs) - Okay. Circle back. - "I'm using a throwaway "because my main contains
mentions of the company I work for "and some personal pictures." - It's Try Guys. (everyone laughs) - It's Keith. "I'm an Italian woman who
works for an Italian company "that has a close working relationship "with a few American companies. "More specifically, I
am the Italian liaison "of a kind of big department
in one of these companies. "So basically-"
- Such a funny role. - "So basically everything "that my American colleagues
decide comes through me, "and I relay it to my Italian colleagues." (everyone laughs) So many jokes in my head right now.
- I know. Tell me what's happening at HQ. - Can you tell 'em we
wanna buy more stock, and be like, "Great. "They want to buy more stock."
- They wanna buy more stock. (everyone laughs) - Thank you for to buying my stock. (everyone laughs) He works at Nintendo. He's like Charles Martinet. - Oh, we got a letter. Oh, sorry, we gotta get the
olive oil off of it first. (everyone laughs) Okay. "In the years I've worked
there, I've made good friends "with some of these American colleagues. "and in the past summer, one of them S, "who's in her early 30s, invited
me to her house in the US. "I had been to the US
many times before that, "but always for work, never for leisure. "So I was really happy. "It's the 4th of July, and S
has organized a nice party. "I met other people who
work for the same company. "One of them was M, a
woman in her late 20s." - S and M.
- Mario? - S and M. "A woman in her late 20s with
her newborn baby girl, Gigi. "At some point in the evening, "M tells me that her
husband is Italian too "and that they wanted to
choose an Italian name "for their baby to honor his ancestry. "So they went with Gigi. "I knew this name was
used for girls in the US, "but I didn't know people
thought it was an Italian name. "So I tell her that while Gigi
exists in Italy as a name, "it is not a girl name. "And in Italy there's a law
that says you can't name a child "with something that is traditionally used "for the opposite gender." - That's a (beep) law? - [Shayne] That's fascinating. - Italy's crazy. - "Also that neutral names do
not exist in the language." - Is Italy nuts? - Yeah. - You got shit? - "She's like, 'What do you mean?' "I tell her that Gigi in
Italy is a nickname for Luigi. "If she comes to Italy and
introduces her child as Gigi, "Italians will think she has
a little boy named Luigi. "At this point, poor M starts wailing." - Luigi Hadid. - [Shayne] Luigi Hadid. - This is huge. - "At this point, poor M starts wailing, "sobbing that I'm just being
mean, I'm making fun of her, "that I'm jealous of her. "And saying that her daughter is not named "after a stupid video game character." - Oh, oh. - [Shayne] Not stupid. - Not stupid. He has a whole mansion. - He is a man. - "I tell her that Luigi, and
Mario too for that matter, "are completely normal Italian
names that have existed "for centuries or even thousands of years "before the creation of video games. "This does not calm her down at all." (Spencer laughs) "M is having a nervous breakdown, "and someone calls her
husband who is at work "to come pick her up." - He's like, "What happened?" (everyone laughs) - What's going on? Mamma mia. Wa wa wa wa! - Wa wa wa wa wa. - I'm sorry, the "Mario" franchise set
back Italians 300 years. (everyone laughs) - She's like, "Oh, you know
that name means Luigi in Italy." And she pulls out a green shell. She's like, "What did you just say?" Okay. - So she runs out of the room, she throws a banana behind her. - "They leave shortly after, "and I realize I've
inadvertently ruined the party "for everyone. "Am I the asshole for telling
this girl her baby's name "is not what she thinks it is? "Edit, yes, M's husband
is not really Italian, "just has some ancestry. "As far as I know-"
- There we (beep) go. - "Doesn't speak any Italian
nor has been to the country. "But M told me they wanted
to visit with the baby "in the near future. "That's why I told her that
if she introduces her newborn "to Italians as Gigi, they will
initially think it's a boy. "The husband doesn't even
have an Italian sounding name. "He's named something
WASPy like John Smith Jr." That's so funny. - Dude, here's what they do. When you bring a boy to
Italy, they know it's a boy, they start putting Parmesan cheese on it. They'll just start
cheesing your baby with no- - Some black pepper. - This is a fair warning. - Yeah. - Not the asshole. She literally stated a fact at this woman. It is such an American thing for her to have been like
my husband's Italian too. It's like, no, your husband's American. And has not been to Italy,
is named John Smith Jr. - And also Gigi, like I don't know, like you can name your
kid whatever you want. And if they don't like it
in Italy, like, I'm sorry. - She's also not saying your
baby's not gonna be welcome in Italy. She's saying, oh, people
are gonna think she's a boy at first. - 'Cause it's a boy's name in Italy, and that's like sorry
you didn't Google it. - The original poster's not an asshole. She's just Italian. Sounds like there's some language barrier. - NTA, just Italian. - [Shayne] Yeah. - It was just a lack of tact perhaps of, I guess in the future if
you notice someone starting to get upset, maybe just back off. - Look, she is Italian
so there are cultural, what she's saying is probably she's like, yeah, this is fine. And she's getting a, this is also not even
an American response. That's just kind of a
very intense response. - It's not like you threw
a blue shell at her. - Thank god she found out
here and not going to Italy. - Think of how funny that
would've been though. - It would've been so funny. "While the current laws prohibit parents "from choosing a masculine
name for a baby girl "and vice versa, more and more
parents are going to court "to fight for the name
they prefer for their child "and winning." - (beep) yeah. - Good. (beep) - Sucks that you have
to (beep) go to court. - Yeah. Okay, some comments here. "Not the asshole. "You gave her information
about names in Italy. "Her reaction was very unexpected. "Sometimes normal names in one country "mean something quite
different in other countries. "Or they're used for the opposite sex. "It is not a big deal, "and it is also not something
that you have to hide "in order to prevent hurting her feelings "because getting hurt by
it is an abnormal response. "My real name, not
uncommon in my own country, "means something very
dark in another language. "No big deal." - Share. - [Shayne] What is it?
- My name Bukake means something totally different. (everyone laughs) - "I gotta go with you're
the asshole, a soft one. "What was the point? "The baby is named. "Was she named in ignorance? "Oh, absolutely. "But they're not going to rename her. "What you told her
amounted to you (beep) up "naming your child, which
wouldn't make anyone happy. "And really neither you nor
she had anything to gain "from you educating her. "The proper response is to say how cute "and then gossip about it
with your friends back home." Someone said, "You aren't the asshole, "but you might need to
learn to read the room." And someone said, "Italian
here, born and raised in Italy. "Gigi is a perfectly acceptable
nickname for Luigina, "which is a female version of Luigi. "You are wrong and rude,
and you're the asshole." - Luigina? - Luigina. - Beautiful name. - Why haven't we seen that, Nintendo? - Nintendo, hire this man. - Luigina. - It was right there. - So edit. "So the general consensus seems to be "that I should have read
the room, and I agree. "I don't generally hang
out with moms and children, "so I was a little out of my depth, "and I just thought that
would've been funny trivia. "Also, M had been
telling the group earlier "that she was upset
that her maternity leave "had ended so soon and hated
not being with little Gigi "all the time." - You're like, well, in Italy. - "I should have connected the dots." Another edit. "Please stop bashing on M. "Yes, her reaction was over the
top, but she's a nice person "and a young mom protective of her child. "I didn't mean for this
to become an attack "on her character." Next story might be a bit of a tone shift. - Am I the asshole for stabbing my boss? - Yeah, it's like, huh? All right, this comes
from Relationship Advice. So this isn't about who's the asshole. This is just- - Okay. - [Shayne] General story. - Breaking the format. - "I, a 34-year-old woman, was stabbed, "and now my soon-to-be
ex-husband, 34-year-old male, "wants to cancel the divorce." What's going on, man? - I was stabbed, and he wants- - You just called out that this was gonna be a stabbing story. I also wanna point that out. - I talk about stabbing a lot. - Okay. "I, a 34-year-old woman, was stabbed, "and now my soon-to-be
ex-husband, 34-year-old man, "wants to cancel the divorce." - I think I need a little more info. - [Shayne] Okay, here we go. - It's like a pity. I'm like, oh, you've been stabbed. I need to, I can't. Okay, I get it. - All right. "My soon-to-be ex-husband
and I had been married "for 12 years. "We got married at 22. "About four months ago
he asked me for a divorce "after confessing to me
that he was having an affair "and that he was in love with that person. "At first I took it badly,
but I have always said "that if there is a third
person in a relationship, "someone is left out. "I also didn't wanna
waste my energy begging "for something I know won't come back." - Good for you. - "His mother got sick, "and I had to take care of her at night "since the lady is quite
picky with other people. "She always treated me badly,
but I still took care of her. "This delayed the divorce a bit. "I guess they were using me
as a nurse or babysitter, LOL. "A month and a half ago I was assaulted "when I was going to work. "I don't have a car. "My husband always drove me, "but he stopped after filing for divorce. "I didn't have much with me, "just my cell phone and about $10. "So I was stabbed for not
carrying much in your pockets. "Latin American moment," is
what she put in parenthesis. - No, I think that was kind
of Shayne talking about it. - No. - Wow Latin American moment. - It's what it says here. "My emergency contact was my
husband and the whole thing. "He now doesn't want a divorce "since he says that this
altercation opened his eyes "and that he really can't
imagine a life without me. "It was going to be an uncontested divorce "since this type of divorce
is totally free in my country "and I'm stingy enough to not
wanna pay a lawyer's fees, "but now he doesn't want a divorce. "I'm living with my mother, "and my soon-to-be
ex-husband comes every day "to screw up my existence. "What do I do to get rid of it? "I already made it clear to him "that I don't want anything from him, "besides, I already hired
a lawyer to advise me, "but he says it's taking too long "because he doesn't want a divorce." Interesting. So she got robbed and stabbed
and now he's suddenly like, "Oh my god, you almost died. "I actually wanna be with you." - Stab him back. - The husband or the robber? - Both.
- Anyone - Okay, there's some comments here. OP said, "Latin moment. "That is Latin American moment. "Things that happen in
Spanish speaking countries "or third world countries, LOL. "When they assault you, "they're supposed to take
what you are carrying "and simply leave whether
it is a lot or a little. "In Latin America, sometimes people "who don't have much to
steal are stabbed or attacked "for the simple fact of not having much. "I don't know if that happens "in other first world countries, LOL. "It implies that you are being stabbed "for taking up the attacker's
time with your poverty." Crying laughing emojis. Damn. This happened yesterday. She's like, "Oh, am I right?" - #Relatable. - Holy crap. - Hey, we all cope in our own ways. - She's a tank. - Also like that's so rude. You robbed me and I wasn't
good enough for you? And now you're gonna
put a hole in my body? - Yeah, it's extra (beep) up. Someone else said, "He doesn't have a life
insurance policy out on you, "does he? "Who stabbed you? "And is it being thoroughly investigated? "I've seen lots of cases
where the divorcing partner "who is having an affair may
go after the soon-to-be ex "as a way to claim insurance money. "But I could be obviously completely wrong "about his intentions. "Please just use your best judgment "and don't go back to him
if there was an affair." - Holy shit. - "If he is a beneficiary
to any money from you, "change it immediately
before you go forward "with the divorce. "Change it to a relative you trust. "Just sounds very sketchy to me." She responds, "No, he doesn't have a
policy or anything like that. "I really don't think it was him. "Believe it or not,
this sometimes happens." - [Spencer] Yeah. - I don't know that I have any advice. I just wish her the best and get the (beep)
outta that relationship. Just tell him like, "Hey,
you're never getting-" - She should have an affair. - No, she shouldn't because then potentially he has like a claim. - Okay, ignore my advice. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. - I think that you just
need to look him in the eyes and say, "I will never (beep) you." - Ooh, yeah. - And then he is gonna be like, "I'm out." - Someone says, "Your ex
knows you don't drive, "you got stabbed because
he no longer cares "about you enough to
make sure you're safe. "Head for the hills. "Stop looking after his mom
and making his life easier "when he doesn't do the same for you. "You shouldn't have to almost die "for him to realize he cares. "Run, run, run." OP responded, "I haven't
been able to take care "of his mother since the altercation, "but I don't really
mind taking care of her. "My mother always says do good things "and you will get good things." Okay, maybe I'm an
asshole for saying this. She did good things and she got stabbed. (everyone laughs) I don't know if karma's working
in this sphere right now. Maybe... - Okay, OP- - It could have been worse maybe. She could have gotten stabbed twice. - It's true. Thank god she was taking care of his mom. - Just saying, you never know. - I also just, regardless of that, I'm just like, dude,
stop taking care of like, part of the divorce is also
removing his whole life out of your life. I know things are very
different per country and per culture, but that's
my personal take on that. - Okay, OP, make his life hell. Start eating real stinky foods. Your breath is gonna wreak. Get yourself some nut flavored shampoo. - Almond oil smells good! - It's gonna make him itchy. And then he is gonna be like, "I can't stand being around you." You be like, "You're trying to control me "and I love my body wash." - Good. Smart. - And then flaunt your money. - And then pay for his meals. (laughs) He's gonna hate that. - Last comment here. "Tell him that his affair
opened your eyes to the fact "that he's a dishonorable
man who you don't trust, "don't love, and don't respect, "and that you can't
imagine a life with him. "If he keeps showing up, call the police "and have him trespass from the property "and if possible get a restraining order "because he's harassing you. "Also tell everyone you both know, "your family, his family, all friends, "that he cheated and left
for his affair partner "and now is harassing you
and adding to your burdens." Yeah. I mean, look, that to me, I'm
like, that's sound advice. Something that I notice on
Reddit, and just in general, I mean this makes sense as humans, someone will be writing
a story and they're like, "Hey, I live in X country." And you'll see a comment that I'm like, that's American advice
for if you're in America. - [Spencer] Yeah. - I don't know, maybe it does apply. I'm just saying I sometimes am like, yeah, you're bringing up a lot
of things that may not apply. It's why like in legal advice subreddits, you have to say what state you're in because things are
different state by state. So the advice you're giving
may just not be applicable. But I do think the majority
of that is pretty universal. Just being like, "I don't
wanna be with you ever again." - Every time he walks into
a room just flick his (beep) - Yeah. - It's not enough to get
the cops called on you, but it really is demeaning. And over time he's gonna- - And he's gonna sound really embarrassed if he tries to report it. - Yeah, and he's gonna hate it. Right, he can't even complain. Like, "What is she doing?" She's like flicking my (beep) What do you mean flicking? It's like, no, just like she flicks it. - It's pretty, pretty good. - Stand up. (Spencer laughs) - No. No. It's time for our last story, and it's a short one, but it's a good one. - Daddy, no, I want more stories. - Daddy. - Oh, the comments are gonna be awful.
- Daddy, chill. - All right, the comments on this video are gonna be a mix of "Daddy" and "What did you say about the N64?" (everyone laughs) All right, this comes
from True Off My Chest. So these are just a confession. - Love this subreddit. - Just a confession. "Husband said, 'Hold up, men
are talking' during a dinner." (crew laughs) (Zach laughs and groans) - Let's hear him out. Let's hear him out. - My friend Spencer was
loudly talking about the N64. (everyone laughs) - Okay. "We went out Wednesday night for dinner "with all of our friends. "It was our friends' engagement dinner. "It was a group of us. "I interrupted my husband
while he was telling a story, "and he said, 'Hold up,
honey, men are talking.' "Everyone else started
laughing, both men and women. "I awkwardly laughed since
everyone else was laughing. "I was embarrassed the whole
night and barely said anything. "Husband asked me what
was wrong when we got home "because I was being short with him. "I told him what was wrong,
and he claims he was joking, "but he apologized for
hurting my feelings. "I'm trying to get over it
since it happened the other day, "but I'm still holding a grudge." - Okay. - Look, maybe we don't need context. I'm just saying it's so short that there isn't the context
of the whole conversation. - Maybe it was hilarious. Have we considered that? - Maybe it was really funny. The only way is if it's
said sarcastically of like, it's a shitty thing. It's not a... There's no way. I can't. Look, I'm not gonna stand up for this guy. - No, no, look. Toss me the shovel. I mean, sometimes you make
a joke and it doesn't land. And I think the husband made a joke and it didn't land with the wife, and so it's on him to apologize. - He did apologize. "He apologized for hurting my feelings." - Also, if he made that joke, but then continued to
tell his story and didn't, then it's not a joke. - Yeah, no, that's very true. 'Cause like I might not
have made this exact joke, but I had made similar jokes where, you know, you act
problematic as a bit, and it's unfortunate sometimes. Sometimes it happens. You know, but then you immediately
like remedy your actions. - Yeah, what I think I'm
trying to say is you say that and you're making fun
of dudes who say that. That's the, like you're
playing the villain. Like, it's a joke where you're
saying a villainous thing to make fun. - And then immediately be like, "Oh honey, what were you saying? "Honey, get in here."
- [Shayne] That's the problem. - Honey, like talk over me. - Exactly. It's gotta be said tongue in cheek. And if it's not delivered as
such, it comes across horribly. The problem also though is, you know, when we take like the
context of our videos, like we are here to be funny. So that is the purpose
of what we're doing. When you're at a dinner,
an engagement dinner- - It was an engagement dinner? - It was their friends'. "It was our friends' engagement dinner." So I don't know. It depends on the context. Also, at the very least, you
know, he singled her out. And like, it's a joke, but you're singling out
one person at a dinner. - To the original poster,
you've let your husband. Husband? - [Shayne] Yeah. - To the original poster,
you've let your husband know that you do not like this kind of joke. Let's hope that he knows now
to not make that kind of joke in front of you. And I think do your best to- - Especially at their expense. - Right, that's what I mean. Yeah, yeah. Don't hold onto it though. It's not gonna do you any good. - Yeah, make the decision of like- - [Zach] If you can, try and move on. - If it's a pattern, if
this is pattern behavior, yeah, it's a major problem. If it's a one-off joke and it's like, okay, I know he was joking, but- - He (beep) up. And make him suffer for it and try to not hold resentment.
- Flick his (beep) - Yeah, time to flick that guy's (beep) Comments. "Throw it back at him and ask,
'Where are the men then?'" - That's not as much of a... - Yeah. Then it's tense. Then it's like, oh shit. - The girls are fighting. - A certified Redditor comment. I've never seen one of these before. "By everyone's reactions, "his response was meant clearly in jest "and actually was a more graceful way "of addressing being
interrupted by using humor. "The thing is, you were interrupting him "in the middle of a story,
which is rude as hell." Oh, that's why it's a certified- - Certified Redditor moment. - Okay. - The Redditor said, "Actually
the men were talking." (everyone laughs) "And he was right." - But have you considered
that men should talk first? - Sorry, this is a woman
trying to give her opinion? - I'm sorry, hold on, my
fedora was covering my eyes. - Let me read that again,
my fedora was in my face. - But someone else said, "I can't help but to
picture him standing there "with a monocle and pointy
mustache while saying that." - Okay, no, then it would be hilarious. - And then OP said, "This
made me laugh, LOL." - [Spencer] Yeah. - Someone said, "I think
you need to have him promise "to not make jokes like that in the future "because of how badly that
hurt and embarrassed you. "That's what I would do with my husband." OP said, "Yeah, I'll have him
promise not to do it again. "We joke in private a lot, "but this kind of stuff is
just embarrassing in public, "not gonna lie." - Especially when it's a big group, and you're like legitimately, like, I don't know, like me personally, I might be uncomfortable
in like a big group. Like, maybe she doesn't
even know them that well and the husband makes this like, you know, (beep) throws a Hail
Mary with this crazy joke and, you know, it's just like,
okay, like, we're not like, you know, I'm already like
othered in this situation. - Right. I think if you're gonna
make jokes of that caliber that are like at someone's
expense, you have to be on the same level as everyone in the, like everyone in the same room
has to be on the same page. And if you're unsure of that, don't say those types of jokes, you know? 'Cause if someone gets hurt at a joke, then it wasn't a good joke. Like, then someone got hurt from it. And, you know, people were laughing, but also people are gonna
laugh if they're uncomfortable. (Zach laughs) So we don't actually know. - Help. - We don't actually know
what the reaction truly was, what people really thought of it. But yeah, I think that could be fixed. - And what is this episode
if not men talking? - Damn. - What's weird too is that she
interrupted a tirade he had about how Jews control
the media, so it's... (Shayne laughs) - It was crazy she did that. - That's the context we needed. Well, what a way to end it. (everyone laughs) Zach, thank you so much for being here. - Daddy's talking. (Shayne laughs) - Daddy's talking about
his murder house, okay? - Whoa. - Thanks for being here, man. - Thank you for having me. - Of course. And, Spencer, it's always great. - Thank you. I have a lot of fun. It's great to just listen. - Yeah, man. For sure. (laughs) Yeah, so, Zach, where can people find you? - Google. (Shayne laughs) - Got it. Google Zach. All right. Once again, thanks for being here. This was great. And thank you guys for watching. Comment down below what
other kind of subreddits and themes you wanna see. - Am I gonna come off
like an asshole for that? - No, that was funny. - Okay, cool. - No, that's hilarious. I'm addressing that I
think that's hilarious. - Am I the asshole for denying
my opportunity to plug myself on "Smosh Reddit Stories"? - I think people know. - If they don't, they don't care. - We'll see you later. (everyone laughs) Bye.
