The Joke That Almost Ended Romesh Ranganathan's Career

I have to carry on teaching the lesson going racking my brains guys it's like maybe one of their parents come to a gig and see me do it like how has this happened yeah I'd like go through this and trying not to have like a full-on panic attack I'm not freaking out like these kids this kid knows that I've said on stage [Music] [Applause] I think that's a lovely answer though I just gave that I think that's what where you were you quite a likable teacher then I imagine you were uh I don't know I guess like I did get I did I was alright with behavior management I did get kids that I hated me I mean I had like I had kids scream in my face and [ __ ] like that but they're not screaming in your face they're screaming in a teacher's face I mean like they they don't want to do fractions last lesson on a Friday yeah I understand that yeah but we got it were you a good kid yourself at school my my the truth is like like I am I was all right I was too thick two issues I had was one I was incredibly lazy like every one of my school reports says Ramesh has no desire to meet this potential at all I don't know why he doesn't like knuckle like every single one of my reports said that and then the other thing is like when I was in like year 10 uh my dad went to prison and like we got a house repossessed and then when that happened I just stopped giving a [ __ ] and then I became I became a nightmare like I was bunking off I was smoking weed and all sorts right so but that wasn't like you know I was I was then I was like I don't give a crap about this anymore yeah I did I did enjoy school but not for any of the lessons or anything I enjoyed it for like seeing my friends and stuff like that but I was a bit of a nightmare in lessons so is that is that probably why you have so much compassion for the naughty kids because you because you realized that you didn't give a [ __ ] when yeah maybe I don't know I mean listen I'm making it out like I was an Angelic teacher I wasn't I mean there were times yeah I [ __ ] up quite a few times uh maybe I don't know I mean I think like I do think like yeah I just think if you put if you could see it from the kids point of view it just becomes an easier job you know yeah fair play were you practicing stand-up whilst teaching yeah mate it was oh you were doing the two coincidence no no I didn't so when I started doing so when I started teaching I started doing stand-up because I'd always wanted to do stand-up and then I just thought it'd be something I do in the evenings like a little hobby thing I mean all teachers have got like they're in a band or something or they've got some drill crew and so like I just thought I would like I'd do a bit of stand up in the evenings and so I started doing it and then basically somebody said look as I was doing it I was like teaching and then going off to do a gig and I only like Open Mic gigs like in the back of a pub or whatever to 20 people yeah and then somebody said to me oh you like you should think about doing this for a living like you could do it and so then I started like trying to push my way into like the way it works is without getting too boring about details but you go and try out for comedy clubs but you go and try out for free so they'll go let's have a look at you come and do 10 minutes and then if you do well in that 10 minutes they'll go right we'll pay for you to come for the weekend and do 20 like 20 minute sets Friday Saturday whatever so that's how it worked so I started doing that but mate it was like doing teaching and doing stand-up they're just like I was like knackered you know I'd like finish school get in the car drive to Nottingham do a gig die come back go to bed get up and I was just like knackered I remember the worst thing was when I was at this school that had come out of special measures I did this joke right as a [ __ ] joke it's one of my first ever jokes right but so I'll tell you the bit is that one of the first ever bits ever right right and it was like I said I I was I caught a lonely guy number one night I'd gone out and I was just fed up with not having sex so I went to a 24-hour petrol station and I went to buy a copy of Asian babes right so that I could have a wank okay I said the problem is is that whenever you go to a 24-hour petrol station it's always Sri Lankan work in there and I so I went to buy copy of Asian babes and there's my uncle Raj right and so um I couldn't buy a copy of Asian babes I had to buy cheese and onion pasta and do something with that right that's that's the that's a joke right so so that that was a joke right so essentially I'm using a passage of wanking slaves it's the punchline right so I did so I I went and did like some uh competition in Brixton and it was like really badly run competition right and without checking with any of the acts they put the sets up on YouTube right so I didn't know this obviously as you know putting stuff up on YouTube has to be done the express permission of the people yeah the thing right yeah yeah I don't know you guys operate but that like so so the net like like few I didn't know it gone up on YouTube and obviously kids search for you online all right so I'm handing out textbooks for my year 10. at the special measure school right they're like they're like a really nice class but like that I'm always on the edge of just having them under control right so like I'm hanging out a textbook I hand the textbook to one of the kids at the beginning of the lesson and he goes to me you like pasties foreign [Laughter] I have to carry on teaching the lesson going to go it's like maybe one of their parents come to a gig and see me do it like how has this happened yeah I'd like go for this and trying not to have like a full-on panic attack I'm not freaking out like these kids this kid knows that I've said on stage I've ejaculated into a past right so so then I run off to the thing anyway it turns out as on YouTube everybody it's like everybody had seen it and so like the for the next few days everywhere I walked a kid was going are you like cheese and onion passes I had to go and talk to the Head teacher oh and not explain the situation because I didn't know if that you know because it puts you in a compromise and permission position it's like a member of staff for the school it might be a bad look it's the sort of thing the local newspaper might run with I mean a scandal a secondary math teacher found joking about wanking into a pastry good so I had to go and she goes I said like listen I've got to have a chat with you I I do stand up comedy uh in the evening so the other teachers didn't know you did this at that a couple of them did but the head teacher didn't yeah yeah yeah I said like I've got to have a chat because I did this route I did this bit of stand up and it's gone up on lunch guys and what what's the what's the joke oh no so I go it's basically I go to it [Music] I go to a service station and I uh they don't have a they don't have a magazine for me to masturbate over so I buy cheese and then in pasty and do something with that horrible how did that work watch he's learning there's gotta be better pasties out there for that like better better what's better how was that your takeaway from there no but I think listen I think he's good listen let's get into it nobody's ever asked me that before what's a better pasty for [ __ ] Jack uh I think sort of some kind of minced meat that noise anyway now it's time for a break for our sponsors fuel we do not a cure would be all right what to masturbate into a hill no probably the noise yeah yeah that sort of thick shape quite similar you're not talking about the dry powder aren't you yeah you're talking about a premium liquid yeah yeah well how long after this situation did you carry on teaching for uh uh well I left that school at the end of that Academic Year I thought there's any Fair uh for everyone but maybe another two years okay yeah yeah so it didn't end me you you do loads of shows don't you on TV yeah you do was that Branson

Channel: Happy Hour Podcast

Views: 190,478

Keywords: happy hour, happy hour podcast, jaackmaate's happy hour, romesh, romesh ranganathan, a league of their own romesh, romesh and rob, romesh teacher, romesh happy hour

Id: m4slHxEDFZM

Length: 8min 1sec (481 seconds)

Published: Tue Apr 11 2023