The Internet Told Me To Read These Books & I Am Not Okay

hi everyone it's regan and welcome to the start of another weekend reading vlog it is saturday um around noon and i'm about to start this vlog um i'm actually really excited uh for this video because i am really looking forward to my tbr though it might be a bit foolhardy we'll see how i make do and if i survive this tbr but the reason why i'm so excited is i'm reading two books i have been wanting to read for a long time and i've been on my shelf or been on my like mental tbr for a long time but they're also both very very popular and you guys have all said i believe for both of them at least that they're both very very emotional so i thought you know let's just read them both in one weekend and just see if i can make it to the end you know like it'll be kind of a fun adventure to see if i'm able to survive these two books back to back but without further ado let's go ahead and chat about the two books i hope to read this weekend so here they both are i want to read the song of achilles matilda's right there and never let me go by kazu ishiguro i'm going to start with the song of achilles this book i want to say is maybe just under 400 pages and never let me go it's actually pretty short at about 270 pages so my hope is that i might be able to finish these both over the course of about three days starting today i don't have any grand plans for the weekend outside of just kind of hanging out uh and reading and probably crying um and then maybe playing some video games with my friends online but other than that it's really gonna be enjoying the spring weather hanging out with matilda and reading these books in part as to why i said i wasn't sure if i was going to be able to survive this vlog is because as i kind of mentioned both these books are lauded as pretty emotional they're also both very very popular and i do feel like i'm seeing them everywhere on the internet the song of achilles i believe is the romanticized tale of achilles and his love story with patroclus i've read the iliad um in school it's been a really long time but i'm excited to encounter this particular story as i am pretty familiar with these greek individuals between college and also let's be honest percy jackson so i'm excited to read this book in a more kind of again romanticized um way i've just heard such wonderful things about madeline miller's writing and she herself studied greek classics in school so i just feel like this is going to be both rich and its knowledge of the historical tales as well as just being like a wonderful story um and then i've heard that this book is really sad as well i've never read it nor have i seen the movie but this will be my first kazoo ish guru book which i'm really looking forward to don't lie i know very little about this and i kind of did that on purpose going in i think it just follows a group of students that were close in school and are maybe connecting again later in life i'm really looking forward to encountering this and my hope is to actually read this and other books by this author throughout the year but a lot of people said this was a good one to start with so i'm really looking forward to both these books i feel like they could both potentially be like new lifelong favorites hard hitters you know we're here we're here to experience the reading yeah i just wanted to say hello chat about these two books which i hope to read over the course of the three days i'm vlogging but yeah welcome to the vlog clay went for a run and i'm on my second cup of saturday coffee about to watch kdramas you know we each hover each have our own lifestyles you know what i mean it's time for a bagel and we started a new shoe that's um in english which it's been a minute since i've watched a show without subtitles which is called ted lasso it's really funny it's about like an american football coach teaching soccer like like american football coach football soccer in the uk and it's really funny so far so we're gonna watch that clay is in the kitchen prepping to bake something new something special i'll uh have it i'll have him show it off a bit later um but now i am gonna sit down and start the song achilles i'm really looking forward to i've heard just such excellent things about this so i'm really hoping it becomes like a new all-time favorite of mine but yeah i'm gonna sit down and get some reading in now so i'll check in when i have some pages read hi everyone so my reading sprint is over and i'm happy to report i read a super quick 70 pages of the song of achilles i mean here's the thing this book is super popular so many people have read and loved this book so i know going into this video there's probably nothing new or special i could say at this point but i can definitely see why at least so far this book is so beloved first and foremost before we even dive into like the plot and characters i really really love the writing and also kind of structurally how each scene kind of bleeds into another scene which bleeds into another scene the first 70 pages really kind of takes place over a pretty decent amount of time years past and you really kind of seamlessly feel like you're watching this sort of movie kind of slowly unfurl in front of you as you kind of get rooted in the life of patroclus and achilles going into the song of achilles i didn't realize that it was primarily from the perspective at least so far of the 70 pages i've read of patroclus i don't i thought it was from the perspective of achilles obviously achilles is very central so far at least in the story but it opens on patrick less his life and kind of how he even met achilles the thing with this story too which i find to be really interesting is for a lot of readers including myself we know the ending and if you've read the iliad which i also have done you also know the broad strokes of a lot of the conflict which i imagine will be playing out later and something i feel like madeline miller has done such a cool job of doing is like you'll find yourself in really famous scenes from the iliad you'll be in front of characters you know a lot about in broad strokes or you know about their you know legacy or connections within the greek tales and you'll shift from these really well-known scenes to these you know kind of beautiful soft moments both of patrick liss's life and then him and achilles and it's just really artfully done and just underlines what i imagine is going to be truly a very human story about these two particular characters again this story opens up on patroclus who honestly has a rather tragic childhood and is also very shy and awkward at the beginning of the story he essentially leaves his father's kingdom um as an exile after a very unfortunate accident that occurred and growing up he's always been treated very poorly by his father you can kind of see how that treatment has impacted his confidence and kind of how he interacts with people around him he moves to a new kingdom as an exile and he's raised amongst a bunch of boys basically at achilles father's like kingdom and there he begins his friendship with achilles the first 70 pages is really rooted in their childhood both as they kind of grow to be connected to each other just these beautiful scenes of humanity and just boyhood and friendship and them just kind of becoming really close companions it was honestly a stunning thing to read but also watching patroclus grow into himself and become more confident with himself and like allow himself to be loved and cared for by another human being was also something to behold as well obviously i've only read 70 pages i have quite a bit of this book left and i imagine there's going to be continual time skips as we continue to move through a lot of the future events that i anticipate but the first 70 pages were honestly beautiful i love the writing style i love i don't know just the history of this book but also how it's completely its own original story as well and honestly it's i can see that this is going to be rather emotional and very very beautiful as we continue to follow achilles and patroclus's tail through the end and you know we'll see if i'm mentally prepared for it but so far so excellent um i can't wait to read more hi i've already put leggings on i'm impressed i lasted as long as i did to be honest on this saturday clay ventured out again to pick up ingredients for his new baking creation he's attempting this roll um it's like a cake roll jelly roll so this looks tasty very excited to eat this in the meantime i and matilda i'm gonna play beat saber which actually hold on so random but i'm just really excited about it and i played it for like six hours last night but i got an oculus mostly because monika got an oculus but i wanted to play with her and also i wanted to play beat saber and i got the bts dlc so i could play my bts songs and play beat saber i was gonna do a montage just now of me playing and then i realized i didn't want to see that like when i edit it and i don't want to put that on the internet so i thought i would just let you know that i got this and this is what i'm going to do right now it's so much fun we played mini golf last night i could go on and on but anyway this is me telling if you've been thinking about getting an oculus get it and then get the bts dlc for beat saver anyway goodbye well i'm beat savoring clay's over here whipping up a storm i already showed off the recipe but yummy i think this is going to be rather tasty clay i don't know if i've ever had a jelly roll let me move the flowers over here to make it a more scenic set for you guys so it's all about the details it's time to pour it's like a true sheet cake yeah i'm not sure if my sheet size is exactly the same as in the instructions i could have tried measuring it but i did not alrighty while clay finishes up his bake i am actually going to get back to reading i posted about this book on instagram i'm like flushed because beat saber the workout i don't care what anyone says um but i posted about reading this on instagram and i got so many dms like lol prepared to cry and i could already tell like even the mood of this book feels like like a beautiful fleeting spring day that you know is going to end in tragedy like it has this light to it like like she gives you all these beautiful moments that are like oh this is so lovely and you're like ah yes but i i feel i feel like something's coming on the horizon but anyway i'm gonna sit down and read now my goal is to read at least over the 100 page mark tonight which i don't foresee being an issue especially given how quickly i'm reading this to be honest uh but i feel like i'm gonna do most of my reading tomorrow and the next day so i'm just gonna sit down and read now and i'll let you know if i cry you know tbd look at her she's a jelly roll you did it kid you did it should have baked it a little bit longer oh well looks delicious stepping in the other room um because clay's watching soccer while he finishes up his baking but i've already read another 60 pages of the song of achilles and i've already teared up [Music] um the story is effective for so many different ways but one of them is obviously it has elements of dramatic irony like we know the ending but that doesn't mean we don't wish for something better you know um in the way like the titanic you know like you know there's an iceberg but you're still watching titanic and you're still like maybe maybe i've read 130 pages i'm already thinking about it but i've read 130 pages and it was honestly just beautiful watching this transformation of friendship to love and just the purity and just the feeling that they have for each other just like the soulmateness of what you're witnessing is just and also just the innocence of it all too a loss for words and just the scenes of them together talking about what they want in their life for each other too because they're they're young men at this point before kind they're on the cusp of adulthood at where i'm at and so they're kind of confronting not only their feelings for each other but confronting their place in the world and they're ultimately going to have to make decisions um and something else i just love um because obviously achilles is one of the most known figures in greek mythology and he is half god half human he's beautiful he's talented he's fantastic at all things but we're reading this book from patroclus's perspective so obviously like we knew achilles was impressive going into this story but like the way he views achilles isn't just as like a person admiring his talents like it's all infused with the love that he has for achilles like achilles could be a normal person but he would still be a god to patroclus you know because he just loves him so much so how he shines um it's so beautiful because it's just like oh you just it's just how he views him you know and it's just i'm like already an articulate i've run 130 pages and i'm already like anyway i'm gonna go eat some cake because i i need it it is dinner time in this household we got indian food tonight and uh we're watching more of that ted lasso show because it's honestly so heartwarming and charming so there's that tv watching is over and i am back to reading and back to crying and i will update you guys in the morning good morning everyone happy sunday so i'm happy to report i'm up i'm dressed ready to face this sunday oh clay's playing call of duty but i wanted to say that i have successfully read over the 200 page mark of the song of achilles last night i'm going to do a more in-depth reading check-in but i want to read 40 or so more pages before i do so i plan to finish this entire book today which i foresee being no problem at all as i am just honestly flying through this but i'm going to sit down with my coffee now until it looks so silly um and read another 40 pages and then i'll do a check in but just wanted to say good morning i put clothes on which really just consists of a sack dress which god loves spring summer you know anyway okay i'm gonna read the sleepiest bug hello everyone it's me with the drags of my coffee i have read over 240 pages of this book i'm on page 244 to be exact about 120 pages left i'm going to take a bit of a break and i because i feel like i'm going to speed through the last 120 pages and just i know the emotional toll is coming so i just need to mentally prepare myself but boy am i really enjoying this book i knew i would when i was gonna pick this up but you know it's always nice to be confronted with the reality you were hoping for it you know um and i would say the plot is definitely really heating up and now we are fully within the trojan war setting and i have to just first and foremost really laud madeline miller's ability to take incredibly well-known scenes from these greek epics and kind of distill them down and rework them to where they keep all of the main points and all of the main callouts that you kind of got within the greek epics but then she just infuses it with this sort of characterization for achilles and patroclus but other characters and well-known greek heroes as well that just kind of adds new color and new life to these well-known moments and scenes and it's just honestly stunning like there's been so many moments in this i'm like i remember that scene i feel like if you read a greek epic it's really easy to kind of remove yourself from them being actual people they feel like characters on a plane you're watching these sort of grand events happen and i feel like she's able to kind of capture the character of sometimes the absurdity or just the ginormous obstacles or the war and grandeur that is happening within these greek epics but also infuse a human element and also like an emotional and like heart-wrenching element too because we are at war here like it's not all glory many ways it's absolutely horrifying and obviously we're following achilles and patroclus as they partake in this war and honestly the journey itself is just it breaks your heart in so many ways i mean patroclus and achilles are so young and i guess just achilles decision and desire to like make a name for himself and kind of take hold of his destiny and his fate it feels so tragic because you see the youthfulness and that decision and patroclus's dedication to achilles will follow him anywhere he'll follow him to the ends of the earth as long as he can be with him and it's just so it just oh my god it just says so much just so much to your heart you know what i'm trying to say hopefully um but yeah i'm really really enjoying the story i feel like it is perfectly balancing the sort of ancient greek setting and this sort of epic tale that it's using as its basis for the plot while also just centering two of the most wonderful characters that you just it just uh and again i actually love reading the story from patrick liss's perspective just seeing him kind of take in the glory and the horror of the world around him but always being so focused on the shining beacon that is achilles in his life is just stunning and yeah i don't think i'm gonna be okay but i am definitely on track to finish this today and for the record i got dressed my purple obsession continues um and i think i'm going to as i said take a break finish my cup of coffee and actually watch a k drama um clay is going on a bit of a solo adventure today he bought a walking guide of new york and he was taking himself on a very long walk all over manhattan today i opted to stay home so i could cry reading the song of achilles in private but i've started re-watching goblin um and i'm on episode 12 um and i'm i've gotten much more into it this time around so i'm going to watch some of that today and maybe finish it who knows but that's the plan i forgot to mention that clay's jelly roll that he made last night turned out very delicious you go clay alrighty friends it's lunch time and it's been a minute but i'm gonna make some instant ramen for lunch and i'm going to make get it from my my pantry but i'm going to make a tik tok recipe with qp mayo an egg and a clove of garlic that i've made before and it's so good i'm going to add kimchi this time though for some spice and a little tang but i'll show you the recipe you've probably already seen it on tik tok but just in case you've got to turn it alrighty so for this ramen you need about a tablespoon of qp mayo which is just japanese mayonnaise and then a grated clove of garlic an egg and then this is the soup base and you just mix it all together and then all you do is cook your noodles normally and then once the noodles are cooked you slowly add just the water into the bowl and then drop in the noodles and then it becomes this really like thick luxurious instant ramen and then obviously you can put whatever toppings you want on top again i'm gonna put some spicy kimchi on mine but i've had it before incredible stuff yum it's just so creamy but anyway back to crying alrighty i've just passed episode 13 of goblin things are getting wild we're getting the reveals some of them i saw coming but that doesn't take away from like the emotional impact because it's all about i've been just waiting like how are they gonna react like when they figure it out i also just love a show centered on like fate and connections like through lifetimes it's great anyway it's getting emotional so i thought the only logical thing to do was take a break from that and finish the song of achilles you know but yeah i'm gonna sit down now and try to finish this i have as i said i think about 120 pages left so i feel like i should be able to do a solid reading sprint and just finish this bad boy up now and then cry in the shower or something you know you know that's my plan anyway so happy [Music] sunday [Music] [Music] so [Music] i'm truly in the home stretch i have like 40 pages left and just just the events of the trojan war and then just how the author is able to kind of show like the price of hubris the desire for pride like achilles and patroclus's battle with achilles innate ability for warfare but also the horror and what that actually means like the consequences of being so good at destruction patroclus finding his own place within the army ugh there's just so much to say and there's this build up there's this tension this pacing and i just feel like i'm on like i'm like going up a roller coaster and i'm just i'm near the top and i want to look away but i can't it's me it's good that i didn't wear makeup today um i finished the song of achilles and i just loved it so much like honestly it was just so beautiful and patrick-less and i don't know just the love and the legacy and like what it i just so much i could say i'm just really emotional right now um oh gosh it was just so well done and this story centering patroclus was just oh god he's like just oh god oh god just oh i want to just like build a statue for patrick oh god um anyway i'm gonna go hi i've just been walking around my apartment crying and then laughing at myself anyway i look ridiculous because i put a hair mask in i'm gonna watch kdramas now as a form of self-care i'm really truly though like i'm not okay the real question is why am i doing this to myself why am i watching the end of goblin right after i finish the song of achilles unrelated clay and i got this plant beginning of the year she is just growing and growing and growing one bright spot of today lei is back from his adventure and he brought me cookies just the thing i needed to stop up my tears i thought i deserved a pizza not for you matilda so there's that we're watching an episode of ted lasso and then we're gonna switch over to our kdrama we started which is run on there's clay watching run on we are almost done with episode two we were gonna watch vincenzo like i earlier mentioned but clay requests we watch a more traditional slice of life so the premise of this is an athlete who always gets second place and then a girl kind of down on her luck in her professional job so far so good yeah do you like it so far i've heard the things i hear this is a more like natural romance and also more about like two people who are independently all right in their lives kind of coming together versus like saving each other kind of thing but like they make their lives better so it's like more of a realistic coupling that's what i hear but anyway we're gonna watch this now and then after we watch this we'll watch vincenzo because i really want to watch that show okay drama consumption is over it is now time to start the second book of this vlog never let me go i hope to read maybe like 30 pages of this tonight and then try to read as much as i can tomorrow um i've obviously already finished a book for this vlog so just gonna try to get as far as i can good morning everyone hi friends cheers good morning i'm just here planning out my week my weekly to-do list lost one of my postcards but how cute this pen is unrelated um but i wanted to say hello good morning before i did anything else today um i also wanted to quickly wrap up song of achilles because i feel like i was kind of incoherent and emotional yesterday but i did read all of this so far for this vlog and it is 360 69 pages and it was beautiful i loved it so much just a stunning story from beginning to end i can see why this is so beloved i definitely loved it too i also feel like the more you sit with it like the more emotional it gets like the more i reflect on it and think about just all the pieces of the story i feel like it just nestled itself more and more in my heart so there's also that the pain continues but i really really enjoyed this and then i also was able to read 35 pages of never let me go last night which for the most part means i've read about 400 pages so far for this vlog i do plan to read more today at lunch obviously i have some work i need to accomplish before i can set aside time to read um but so far i am enjoying this it's definitely a little unusual the narrative style just kind of like opens and you're just kind of trying to piece everything together i do feel like it's about a group of friends but time has passed um but i haven't really pieced enough together yet to really give like a clear synopsis i have not seen the movie so i'm really going into this blind but yeah so far so good 400 pages read for the vlog i do plan to read 100 at least 100 pages i've never let me go today so i will keep you posted as i get further along but now it's time for me to get back out to my to-do list making lunch i'm making making a salad with a like peanut dressing with some chicken and then metamome but i made this homemade dressing it was really tasty um i mean peanut butter tastes good and everything so quick lunch tasty i'm gonna get back to my playlist my cooking playlist now and a bone appetite to everyone hi friends i'm on my third cup of coffee of the day and oddly like my third outfit of the day i keep changing i don't know why but but um as you saw i made a really tasty lunch clay's eating doritos in the background um but i'm gonna sit down and take a second to do some reading and then i'll do a reading update i'm sorry i haven't checked in a lot today it's been weirdly more chaotic than i thought it would be but we're here now cheers related to everything that i wanted to show off my new rj sticker wait is it gonna focus look how cute oh my gosh it's doing such a bad job look how cute it's a little vanilla milk rj sticker it brings me such joy but speaking of joy not this red wine yet but i'm gonna have a cookie um clay picked these up yesterday levine is heaven on earth i say this every time i ever show off levane it's forever new york eat here it's amazing in fact maybe i'm gonna pressure clay to try to do a dupe of levine cookies and some of his baking experiments but for now i have the real thing hi friends i wanted to do a reading update for never let me go because i have read a total of 60 pages of this between last night and today and this book has really captured my attention it is very unusual and i'm really appreciating how it's kind of told retrospectively um and there's basically a line on the front that says a page turner and a heartbreaker a tour de force of knotted tension and buried anguish and i feel all of that even though i have so many questions about this book but this book is told like in hindsight like it's being told to us as like a reflection our main character kathy is reflecting on her school days so it's kind of this disjointed collection of memories of her just like referencing important moments to her um of her school days basically following the tales of her and her friends at this school but you get this sense very early on where something is very very different there's references to things like guardians and there's references to this sort of thing that's going to happen in the future and even how the school itself is constructed and kind of the economy of the education is very specific all of the students are really taught to pursue art and your talent at art in different forms is kind of what makes you kind of shine at this particular school but there's also like other hints teachers referencing not sharing enough with the students visitors being fearful of the students so there's this level of confusion as a reader but also you get this level of confusion from the students themselves because they have been living in this isolation and they're aware that something different is going on in their lives but they don't fully grasp what that is so it's like we're confused she our main characters reflecting on when she was confused and then this sort of destruction of the innocence of like themselves being normal is kind of where i'm at but it's definitely really intriguing me so far i personally really always appreciate like a boarding school setting i always appreciate it as a setting to kind of explore like growing up coming of age and in general i just think it's a cool location but so far i'm definitely really intrigued by this i feel connected to the characters and their friendship and just their desire for understanding and like you know pursuing life but i'm definitely also like i have so many questions like i'm just kind of like what is going on like it feels almost creepy like as that line says there's a bit of tension because you're like watching the scene that feels familiar but it's off like something is slightly wrong or like slightly out of focus that makes you very uncomfortable you know and i think that's how i would describe it but in a good way like it's very interesting so far um and obviously this is like you know a really famous and you know lauded piece of work so i'm expecting this to be very good and like leave me thinking um i've only read 60 pages so far and so far i'm like what is going on but i can't wait uh to find out more and i just really like the writing style and the writing quality of this too um so yeah so far so good definitely plan to read more tonight and get over that 100 page mark but just wanted to do an initial check-in enjoying some wine on the roof and then nice sunset ain't she pleasant i said i wouldn't film myself but i never said anything because i'm not filming clay unwinding with a bit of tv post oculus time we're gonna watch some ted lasso we're almost done with the first season and then i'm going to read hello friends and welcome to the end of the vlog the next day i forgot to wrap up the vlog last night so i'm doing it now but i wanted to pop in and wrap everything up i was able to read because i honestly feel like i had a very successful reading weekend um in terms of page length and like page number and also just quality of the books i read um i wanted to start with never let me go and do an additional update for this book as i was able to read 140 pages and i'm really really liking this i just really appreciate the way this book is unfolding and kind of how everything is being kind of slowly told to you retrospectively like we're having a conversation with one of the main characters kathy and she's you know letting us know her entire life like leading up to where she is right now and in so many ways it's this tale of innocence growing up discovering what you want making friends having conflict and resolution between close-knit groups of people but there's also this eeriness and this discomfort you feel as a reader because something feels off and as slowly things begin to be revealed to you it just begins to kind of make you question everything and it also puts the whole experience of this life in another light as well this is also said to be kind of like a gothic story and i definitely can see why it's kind of set in the countryside in this sort of school setting um you know it makes me in some ways think of like some of the jane eyre scenes like when she is at this really strict orphanage growing up and all those distinct relationships between all the different children living there but also because there is this eerie sense of something bad lurking in the background something we can't quite put our finger on it's not a ghost it's not a monster but it's definitely right around the corner and it makes us uncomfortable and because of all of those things i'm just really appreciating it and the whole story itself feels so human you feel very connected to kathy and these these characters and you can relate in their folly or their journey in the decisions they're making and it just makes you at least it makes me nervous to see how this is going to unfold because i at this point i have an idea and i'm very concerned about how this is going to emotionally impact me at the end of the day because this is like so far where i'm at kazu ishiguro has been able to perfectly capture this sense of just like innocence and youth growing up and i just know he's going to shatter it or shatter us at the end um but it's definitely very very good i'm pretty much exactly halfway through and i'm looking forward to finishing it um probably today or tomorrow outside of that long ramble i also read the entirety of the song of achilles which i more holistically covered throughout this vlog as i read this entire thing from beginning to end it was a beautiful story i cried i loved the writing i just loved the characters i really want this to be adapted and all in all i can see why this is so beloved because i loved it too so yeah i was able to read about 500 pages a little over 500 pages for this vlog two really excellent books that were quite hard-hitting emotionally i definitely want to read more books by both of these authors and yeah i would say i'm just really pleased even though i'm still kind of recovering and still reading one of the books um but yeah i feel like this vlog was definitely a winner in terms of these i feel like are gonna be books i'm going to be thinking about and recommending for a long time but thank you guys so much for watching and i will see you soon with another video soon goodbye

Channel: PeruseProject

Views: 45,615

Rating: 4.9746952 out of 5

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Id: IM1AfuUnkPU

Length: 36min 40sec (2200 seconds)

Published: Thu Apr 22 2021