The Indian Wedding Race (Love & Marriage Documentary) | Real Stories [4k]

[Music] good morning melbourne you're listening to your own radio radio hanji specifically melbourne is home to a young thriving indian community the largest in australia and there's one topic on everyone's lips what do you think about love and marry don't be shy just give us a call for many indians it's a desperate race to be married by 30. so pressure is mounting on 29 year old delvinda when you reach your late 20s it's like chicken going off but her sick parents won't let her marry just anyone i prefer if you ask durban dad you're really annoying tyron's also 29. if i do not get married by 30 i would be considered as damaged goods his family back in india is pushing for an arranged marriage it has to be family endorsed dad approved dalvinde and taron each want a love marriage hi i'm tyrone and they want to do it their way she is so cute so where did you meet him tinder but mum and dad are never far away hi dad yes hi parents just want to play cupid why is it that you always say yes to the not so attractive ones if she walks in with somebody other than a sick i'll be very very upset i did the right thing don't you dare blame me papa hearts will be broken daughters don't know how much their fathers love them you want to live like a millionaire who just stay in india trust me the clock is ticking will delvinda and turon make it to the temple on time [Music] [Music] delinda grew up in the leafy melbourne suburb of balwan with her traditional sikh parents so this is my dad herman the single who likes to be called gill that's my dad and this is my mom uh i'm rajit kaur she's cooking she's like the best cook ever dalvinder's dad is a retired engineer and home movie buff i just wanted my children to grow up and be able to look back at the childhood originally from the punjab region of india gil brought his young family to australia in the late 1980s he lovingly recorded delvinda growing up capturing a child moving awkwardly between two worlds [Music] well all other kids you know would be hanging out at the mall and going to parties and things like that i'd be going to punjabi school going to the temple but at the same time trying to fit into modern aussie culture for delvinda a big part of being an aussie is liking aussie blokes dad has other ideas i have this vision of my son-in-law i imagine him to be sick and he wears a turban i think my dad's describing him so that we can easily you know mix around with him and his family would you find it harder to mix around with him if he didn't wear a turban that's my preference in my thoughts mom and dad want me to marry a little indian sikh boy but to be quite honest with you as long as he's a good human being i mean isn't that what's more important there are a lot of good sticks around hmm it's unbelievable oh really yeah maybe that's why because it's so unbelievable unlike delvinda most indians living in australia didn't grow up here since the turn of the century over 100 000 indians under 30 have arrived to study find work and with any luck find love [Music] and that adds up to a lot of lonely hearts [Music] was a teenage student when he arrived in australia 10 years ago as soon as i landed in australia i fell in love with this place with this freedom this lifestyle he's gone on to build a nice career for himself in banking and now lives in outer suburban cranborne southeast of melbourne but there's one thing missing i feel lonely at times if i were married it would be nice to go home to somebody who's waiting for you at home tyrone's been looking for love maybe not always in the right places but now that he's approaching the critical age of 30 taron has to get cracking before the inevitable questions are raised i have to get married if i do not get married by 30 i would be considered as damage goods if tyron does not get married soon it will bring huge shame to his family back in india [Music] at least the young banker knows what he wants she has to be honest she has to be beautiful she has to be progressive and she has loved me back like most young people her age delvinda wants a love marriage i am not marrying some guy from the village like my dad can marry [Music] i really don't think i'm gonna end up with a guy from india it doesn't matter how modern they are their mother does everything for them can't see myself doing that it's not gonna happen but it's less than a year until she turns 30 and the family is getting nervous okay it doesn't matter her traditional father gill knows he will never talk delvinda into an arranged marriage show the recommendations so he's come up with a surprisingly modern suggestion you'll find somebody on social media and hopefully all right well maybe i need to find some other forms of social media okay can i scroll the next one wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait he wants me to go on chady.com which is like this ridiculous website that people go on to like it's not ridiculous thousands of people use it in fact over 10 000 tech savvy indians around the world are signing up to matrimonial websites every day for pragmatic parents and their single kids it's a ruthlessly efficient way to compare family backgrounds and social status oh no he didn't even put this profile up i think his parents did this dalvinder is willing to try shardy but she's laying down strict conditions i don't really like the concept of this whole thing but my agreement with you was 30 days so yeah after 30 days i get to date whoever i want they just sent me a verification code religion doesn't matter what it doesn't matter to me it doesn't matter to you sick okay so it obviously matters to your head has to be a sick what about drinking i make sure he's not a drunkard well i i can't make sure that i don't have an option that says doesn't matter because i'm not going to judge him if he drinks he drinks if he doesn't he doesn't whatever all right so now i can go show recommendations first can we look for guys with the turbine no no i can't there's 10 recommendations and we're going through the 10. just chill just show me some pictures yeah just relax i don't care being wound up about turbans isn't a fashion fetish for gil the turban is an article of faith and symbolizes obedience to the religion's founders i respect this guy just because he is religious he doesn't look you know handsome enough to you or something no it's not nothing about him handsome he looks really nice i don't want to judge any of these guys based on how they appear to me he said do you agree that it doesn't really matter if he's wearing a turban or not at least he should look like a sick oh my god it's shady.com this is like can you just you gotta contact straight away somebody must be desperate to call so quickly dad that's like not very nice and that wasn't funny tyron is launching his own plan to find a partner and it's not a traditional indian solution i'm just looking at a speed dating website and i'm just trying to understand how the rules work speed dating is popular with young professionals who fancy their chances of spotting a kindred spirit in a brief face-to-face encounter [Music] i'm excited i've never done this before a lot of lovely girls in there i'm very motivated to say hi to them but speed dating is also a competition tyron has rivals men from all walks of life hello hi i'm tyrone hi are you nervous because i am [Music] yes yes yourself yeah what are you doing to make up for work i'm a lawyer wow yeah nice i'm in melbourne all by myself you got the most beautiful eyes ever oh what i'd like you to do now is just take a minute to look over your match cards make sure that all the notes feel very strongly phenomenal just the girl that i've been looking for years taron is quick to select the young lawyer for a follow-up date unfortunately she passes on him tonight was disappointing but it was also a bit of a revelation for me i realized that i am a lot more comfortable with indian women for me at this point of time indian women are the real deal [Music] no i i can't finish finish [ __ ] no uh for a month now delvinda's tried to please her dad by meeting some of her shady suitors thank you very much it was really awkward sitting down over coffee to decide whether you're compatible for marriage but nonetheless i did it and then i said to dad well well well 30 days is up so now it doesn't matter who i bring home gil firmly disagrees there is no way he's going to let his daughter date just anyone if the window walks in through the door with somebody other than as sick as her perspective partner i'll be very very upset she may claim um we are very flexible and you know modern parents and all that but deep down she knows gil maintains the pressure he gently steers delvinda to more internet dating options i told her try something else and she told me there's a tender i never heard of tinder before it's probably best gil doesn't look too closely at tinder as dating sites go it's fast and unfitted more the place for finding a hookup than a husband it's a lot of fun to play around with it's a bit of an ego boost um almost because it's nice to you know get matches and you know people that you've liked and they like you back and it's like ah well thank you looks it's got it's a match right and then it goes keep playing so it's like a game like you're just swiping at people browsing this bevy of blokes has a strange entirely unexpected effect on delvinda it's funny but as i scroll through some of these profiles i can't help it but the indian ones are just i don't know like more attractive delvinda warms to one bloke in particular this guy seems pretty cool he's taking time to get to know me and there's no rush so yeah he doesn't wear a turban so dad won't be happy and given she's found him on tinder her friends have concerns too you know what tinder is here a dating site yeah i think just be careful until you actually meet him face to face like this he could be anyone but take it slow okay yeah yeah headline punjabi gone missing tinder okay [Applause] charon's also been spending time online having realised that he's more comfortable with indian women he signed up to shardy too i have got no idea how it works but i've heard a few good stories body type that's important skin tone fair education part preferably medical science there are lots of young doctors on shardy.com she is definitely a stunner but there's one major hurdle for tyrone benny bay's in india [Music] hmm she's cute this is actually quite challenging i've looked at about 40 45 profiles today they're all based in different parts of india but none from australia just as he's about to give up tyron finds a girl that interests him and she lives near sydney she's a passionate dancer and exhibits keen interest in cooking and exploring new places that's my dream girl hopefully a mother or father living in india would respond and preferably they would get me to speak to her at some point [Music] delvinda has decided to take the risk and meet up with the boy from tinder okay what do you think i'm gonna get white wine that is correct thank you thank you thanks this is quite nice shamshare is a tradie and has been living in melbourne for seven years [Music] he's almost 30 as well and has been scaring the internet for suitable girls we met on tinder have you heard dinner yeah um and she's a beautiful girl and i told her i was like i don't have anything in india i'm poor guy and she what i don't care about that [Music] delvinda's family are taking their turn in the kitchen at their local temple our is just doing the longest server today seva which is seba means service service and shamsher the young man dalvinder met on tinder three weeks ago has come along to help out keen to make a good impression things have been going strong seeing them together at the temple has tongues wagging in the tight knit sikh community are you married no not yet oh my [Music] next morning delvinda's curious to know what her mum made of shamsher so tell me what you think yeah because he was wearing his earrings you know i knew you wouldn't like his earrings yeah and the best i see in him is his personality yeah he's a gentle and respectful boy yeah that's what i like yeah do you think he's the one for you i don't know he's really different like and it's weird because remember i was always saying to you like i'd never get married to a guy from india i'll never love a guy from india do you think he fits into the family yeah he does he does fits into the family because dad's not an easy person to please you know what i mean gil has been clear with delvinda he wants a traditional seek for a son-in-law has some share done enough to win him over so papa what do you think of some shed he seems to be a nice bloke too bad he doesn't wear a tub and oh well his father wears turban so let's hope one day he will wear i prefer if he wears turban you can ask your mother it's possible to kiss a guy with a beard and mustache i'm sure it is possible dad but you can kiss a guy with stubble just as well for days now tyrone's been thinking only about the young doctor he found on shadi.com she's based in australia but he can't just pick up the phone and call her indian protocol dictates that he must contact her parents first it's like calling a stranger to see if i can take the stranger's daughter out in this case like for marriage and it's really embarrassing uh but that's cool i'm happy to play the game they're gonna call me back on friday it's going to be an anxious wait for toronto it's radio hanji come on pick up your phones and call us what do you think about love and marriage come on don't get shy come on give us a call in modern arranged marriages young couples usually get the final say in who they'll marry but they may not get long to make up their mind and then i met the girl for the second time we spent two and a half hours talking after we were confident enough to take this chance and we said yes to just finalize the marriage remember dalvinder and shamshay have been seeing each other for more than a month he was freaking out mom he was freaking out and up to now it's been going well so funny how many routine did you eat dad this isn't funny i don't got a girl should not eat more than one and a half roti but everyone understands what comes next is deadly serious [Music] you're sweating you're stressed in punjab to talk to del vinda's folks for the first time delvinda spoke to them by phone a few days ago but she's worried that she said the wrong thing papa i've only spoken to his parents once and they asked me put the preet kidnap and i said can you believe my response was hanji chaluga like who says that i couldn't think of anything else to say in punjabi this could be the most important call champshare and delvinda ever make oh my god just wait if the two families don't hit it off it's back to square one for the young couple nobody's gonna stress okay smile oh my god delvinda and her mum and dad are meeting shamshare's parents who live in india for the first time since meeting little more than a month ago the young couple have been inseparable but their relationship could end here if their parents don't approve of each other [Music] she really put her foot in it foreign [Laughter] foreign gil wants to have a wedding tour why were you sweating so when both families at ease then after you can discuss anything you can arrange anything no no i do not want anything to be arranged like no pressure like let us just let us just chill let us do what we're doing most indian kids will tell you this parents just can't contain themselves like they just want to play cupid i just don't want to get caught up in something like i want to be really really sure the girl tour unlike donshotti.com never called speed dating and the online social sites have all failed i don't know what is wrong with me why i have been having so much of bad luck with these skills is it me is it the universe i never knew that it's going to be this difficult or complicated to meet someone for many hindus the answers to a lot of life's big questions can be found in the stars luckily for toronto a hindu astrologer lives just around the corner thank you for seeing me yeah no worries palm reading goes hand in hand with astrology it's another way to get a glimpse into the future yeah you have too many lines too many lines means you have a lot of struggle in your life i can see that but tarun's here to ask about his love life at the moment your timing is rahul okay rahu is bad so you have to be careful very very careful about the like relationship as well and taron has one last big question would it be arranged marriage or do you think it's going to be love marriage arranged marriage yes according to a horoscope she's very beautiful and she is very smart better like smarter than me yeah it's better than you okay until now tyrone has resisted his parents attempts to get involved in the search for a wife but his 30th birthday is looming and now he knows arranged marriage is written in his stars tarun decides it's time to ask for help hello hi dad yes hi good to see your smiley face i'm coming to india i'm open to the idea of arranged marriage okay good [Music] out in tragen in the sprawling western suburbs of melbourne shamsher is working up to the biggest moment of his life he's only known dalvinder for a few months but his heart's in a hurry i'm gonna propose and this is ring it was really hard for me to pick up the ring because the windows fingers were really big i've been to city and i've found a nice ring and i'm really excited this is the first time i'm gonna be proposing someone you know i'm probably gonna get nervous [Music] it's a sunny saturday afternoon in melbourne but shamshayer's behaviour is making delvindo suspicious should share what's going on [Music] i remember the first day when i met you it was the best day of my life really pancake parlor yes [Music] you are really special will you marry me of course yes i'm just nervous it's gonna fail [Applause] i waited this long just to find my right person for my life and i didn't think i'd find you on tinder hi mommy i'm engaged i'm engaged delvinda has her dream man and champion his perfect girl but the pressure isn't off yet if they are to be married before dalvinder turns 30 they have just six months to pull it all together and that's not long for an indian wedding india's love affair with extravagant weddings started way back with the maharajas these days it's not unusual for high-end celebrations to cost two or three million dollars in an industry worth about 50 billion a year indian weddings can seem over the top but behind all the razzmatazz a complex merger of two families is taking place [Music] it's turban high school envelopes delvinda's plans might not include palaces and helicopters but for weeks now she's been preoccupied with her own elaborate wedding you need help well of course i need help i don't have all day but let's be fast okay so like please don't stress me ah you can navigate no you navigate you drive i've got other things to organize who plans an indian wedding in six months crazy people delvinda has chosen a reception center but gil wants to see where his money's being spent so i've brought the deposit yeah so we'll have a dj so i'm i'm really aiming for 280 300 to be very honest the cost of the wedding is spiraling it looks like we may go well beyond 50 000 australian dollars and gil's unsure where it will end we have to cope one way or the other because linda wants everything to go go perfect unfortunately for gil the budget might soon be under more pressure there's lots of shops in melbourne that you know sell in your clothing and stuff but i just don't think there's enough variety so to get everything that i need for this wedding i have to go to india and delvinda's not the only one heading to india while she's shopping for her wedding turon will be shopping for a wife [Music] [Music] delinda's wedding is less than four weeks away and she's in her ancestral home of punjab northern india doing some last-minute shopping it's a monumental task so dalvinda's family has turned up to keep things moving and it's costing more to do things and arrange things than we thought gil doesn't think he needs a new suit but delvinda wants him to look smart at her wedding my dad wears baggy trousers like who has baggy trousers it's 2015 right so i'm getting him really smart fitting and this master g is perfect just one second my dad's telling the master one sec he's lost a lot of weight and he used to have a bigger potbelly never had a potbelly in my life yes you can you can go through my my pictures never had a yeah now i had a belly in my life i'm happy han named the wedding stationery arrives at the hotel but there's a problem are you joking see how that packing is horrible that it's not even the packing you can't deliver somebody cards like this no no no your wedding dresses and your wedding gown whatever it is they are the most important items you are focusing on something which is not as important as bad they're not usable time is slipping don't let that time slip on the cards [Music] delvinda's in no mood to heed her father's advice she sets off with her sister to confront the printer [Music] to the shopkeeper perhaps delvinda is just another pushy foreigner i won't allow you to get into my shop get down the experience brings to the surface delvinda's constant struggle with her own indian identity [Music] i grew up in australia and people will ask me where are you from and i'll say i'm from australia and they'll be like no like your background like where are you from so i'm like i'm indian and then i come to india and everybody asks me the exact same thing where are you from and i think that's the most hurtful for me is that i kind of don't belong there but then i don't belong here [Music] two thousand kilometers away in shillong a small town in the remote northeast of india tyron is facing his own demons [Music] he's returned to his hometown to ask for his father's help in finding a wife tyron's dad has built a successful electrical goods business on this tiny shop front he's well connected and used to getting his own way i want the educated girl he's to be professional i want some quality of how how his wife also and i am the man who is behind him to help [Music] dad's no stranger to arranged marriage he recently found a wife for taron's brother [Music] today is their engagement party and the perfect opportunity to find a girl for toronto the room is full to bursting with eligible young women watched over by protective parents tyrone's dad is working the room and he's not the only one one of the guests is looking for a husband for his daughter pooja she's 25 years old she looks like an actress actually but he's going to need some persuading to send her to the other side of the world what makes australia different is basically what a millionaire does here in terms of living space quality of health overall overseas experience a normal person australia does with a regular job there's a possibility of a good match being made tyronstad is convinced his son's prospects for marriage would be better if he was back in india he presents his son with some prime real estate so he can start his own business that has offered me this flow to do whatever i wish i can start a call center here a training center here at gym i think this is about 5 000 square feet this is my dad's dream i may regret it down the track but at this point in time i'm not convinced for tyron it's a predicament he has to choose between freedom and independence in australia or an easy life with plenty of family support in india [Music] delvindo arrives back from india with her bridal booty box b we need that one all 75 kilos of it they're really happy okay so uh back in india the news isn't good they're still waiting for their australian visas and the wedding is less than a week away should be okay [Music] there's no certainty they'll make it to melbourne in time a hindu priest and the family astrologer have been summoned to tehran's dad's house their job is to examine the horoscope of puja the girl turon was told about at the engagement party the family is well established the girl is an interior decorator and she's working uh doing a good job okay and uh what is tarun's height five five seven yeah and she's five five so even the height is matching yeah we can use this data to go forward obviously obviously puja has the astrologers seal of approval now it's up to tarun to make contact hi it's tyrone your mom spoke to my dad a few days ago but taron's been in touch with pooja every day since he returned to melbourne and i'll call you later this evening for a chat but tonight she puts the blowtorch onto ron about what her future holds if she moves to australia i work in a bank i make an average salary here you want to live like a millionaire who just stay in india trust me i would never be able to give you a millionaire's lifestyle in australia we we have to work trust me [Music] i was really [ __ ] up because i can give a decent accommodation clothing and cars to drive but not what they usually get in india made servants yeah freaking huge term deposits jewelry next evening the inevitable call comes from dad i've been trying my best i did everything that you can expect for me to do okay i'm sure dad's gonna make a few phone calls tonight and he's gonna start aggressive marketing that i'm back in the market taron's love life has stalled yet again but the news is better for shamsher his family finally arrives from india and just in time a week of celebrations culminating with the wedding is about to begin i feel great like they're here now i feel like i'm getting married traditional punjabi weddings have lots of rituals and this one is no exception [Music] body cleansing with turmeric and mustard oil henna parties and singing and dancing at the family home [Music] but the biggest event of the week is the jago night which perfectly captures the spirit of the punjabi wedding it harks back to a time when family arrived at the wedding house carrying oil lamps on their heads yelling wake up it's time to celebrate there's a wedding tomorrow beating the daylights out of a weak sioux is an old custom too the future mother-in-law is declaring my work is over soon my new daughter will cook and clean and work in the fields the symbolism isn't lost on gil when the wedding day comes he will hand over his daughter to another family she's very very happy and i'm happy for her [Music] a lot of daughters don't know how much their fathers love them [Music] but one day they will and i won't be around [Music] they will when they have their own daughter she grows up he gets married then they will know then they'll have my feelings [Music] unfortunately for tyron offers of suitable girls from india have dried up i'm embarrassed upset disappointed that i could not be a good son like you know how did i stuff it up [Music] i just cannot find the right person i can't find love i can't find a wife everybody who has come in my life in the last 12 months loved the idea of me but when it comes to realization of who i am they simply run away [Music] i thought i did everything right by the book now i'm struggling man like i don't know i don't quite know an indian wedding for toronto now seems unlikely before he turns 30. delvinda's date with destiny has arrived the final day of her week-long wedding is the most important and it has to run like clockwork at 6 30 in the morning there's like 30 people in the house i still need to get my hair done my dad's wearing a blue shirt i'm not white papa please chitty shirt morning here this is my favorite color and i love this color you're not getting married today i am [Music] at the cragiburn goodwater one of australia's largest sikh temples hundreds have gathered to witness the exchanging of vows [Music] in the 500 year old sikh tradition the groom leads the bride by a sash around the holy book and away from her own family [Music] delvinda is now officially a member of shamshare's family these two young indian aussies have come a long way from that first swipe on tinder one two three [Music] with the formal ceremony over it's now time for some fun shamsher must bargain with the bridesmaids to claim his new wife thousand dollars dalvinder has spent months preparing for this moment but suddenly reality sets in sam's family is very different to mine and so i've got a whole different world that's about to begin can you please not cry i'm just i have no idea what to expect i'm just really anxious my whole family's here [Music] it's not like i'm moving to alaska i'm moving 45 minutes to the west but leaving everything that i've cherished for the last 29 years of my life [Music] go and fill that house with love [Music] hard to explain it's really hard to explain i'm so emotionally attached to my parents and to my family that it's it's really difficult for me to say goodbye and to think that that chapter of my life is is over it's going to be a crowded beginning to married life [Music] for the next week champshare's family will live here as well there'll be more rituals more tears [Music] this is your hope cheer up [Music] and finally lots of laughter [Applause] three months later and tarun is still single however he's gained some new insights 10 30 is not the end of life the point is that i don't need to be married to someone to be happy actually life is a lot simpler without the constant pressure of getting married [Music] might be off the cards but tarun's not giving up on finding romance it's holly also known as the festival of love and seemingly half of melbourne's young indian community has turned up to celebrate [Music] delvinda and shamsher are also at the festival happily married and still very much newlyweds it just took a while to sort of get over all the emotions of the week of the wedding but i'm in such a good place and i'm so excited for my future with sam [Music] you

Channel: Real Stories

Views: 295,982

Keywords: Real Stories, Real Stories Full Documentary, Real Stories Documentary, Full length Documentaries, Documentary, TV Shows - Topic, Documentary Movies - Topic, full documentary, best documentaries on youtube, bbc documentary 2022, channel 4 documentary 2022, real world, indian wedding race, Untold Australia indian wedding race, valentine documentary, romance documentary, arranged marriage, traditional indian wedding, australian indian wedding, matchmakers

Id: TSRzwuOL7wc

Length: 48min 35sec (2915 seconds)

Published: Tue Feb 15 2022