The Men With Many Wives (Polygamy Documentary) | Real Stories

now this is Yazeed from my second wife from from yemen and this is why we are for my first wife Sofia and my first wife we've got three wives one husband 11 kids we are family men with many wives an increasingly common sight in Britain today instant children you are in polygamy the second that a fourth wife will have instant children because I have my the days that I have to myself go to a children so when my husband told me about Finnish need from the answer I thought yeah I can trust this guy that's what made me want to marrying him more but a polygamous life is never simple out of 10 years I could honestly say being very generous I've probably had six months of time with me in him especially with a wife in another country it should just be seen as what is is an old horrible choice [Music] from an office in East London Meads and Roger runs a Muslim marriage bureau he prefers sister without child okay that's a that's a preference okay with over fifty thousand clients on his books it's one of the UK's largest now I do have a particular sister if you are interested I just want to know what your situation would be how old are you 27 plus puffy age same age same ages oh but the only problem is she's locking in recent years meets Anne has been getting an increasing number of calls from British Muslims who are looking to get into polygamous marriages there are a lot of guys out they were very well-established very successful men who are who can handle two three yzz not problem because they got high libido rights their Sin City want more children you know why not polygamy is illegal under British law but permitted for Muslims under Sharia law while far from the norm some estimate as many as twenty thousand such marriages exist in Britain today preach the method Hassan Phillips has two wives he's 32 and works part-time at a Brixton mosque he converted to Islam when he was 16 a lot of people you know when they find out that are Hassan you've got more than one wife now that must have been your game plan from the beginning you know Jamaicans they love women that could apparently not something you come into Islam thinking about marriage especially when you come from a Christian background where you know it's just girlfriends you know and polygamy that was not the last thing my mind that I in fact I used to be scared of it in most Muslim polygamous marriages the wives live in separate houses with their own children tonight a SAN is on his way to stay with his wife Nabila in North London Nabila came from Malaysia to do a PhD in engineering at Cambridge she met her sent through a Muslim matrimonial website and gave up her studies to marry him and have his children sofyan and Saleh I was looking for somebody who's been married or who's already in a marriage so because I was married before having gone through one divorce you kind of know what you wanted image so so I wanted somebody who already knows how to be a husband that means that I'm somebody who's already a husband he's a good candidate yeah I don't really support brothers who have this mentally no she's got to be pure and chaste never been touched she'd never seen daylight and then he's you know been around the block come on bro when Nabila and her son married she became the second wife a co wife in his polygamous marriage Mitch mouth my poor wife for marriage and her tea and all that and so so she was okay with that so from dinner and after marriage our relationship starts developing slowly and slowly I really enjoyed being an applicant my relationship if people can see you know what the greater benefit is it's not we are not we are not stupid who force to be this kind of relationship are you gonna move that to the top I want to be somewhere that Nabila works from home designing and running the website for the family's business selling Arabic perfumes and clothing got some bits and pieces this is some of our orders nice it's a small family business but it works we're not you know benefit based we we we have our own business and we live off whatever comes from our business in line with Islamic custom Nabila keeps all her earnings in addition to money given to her by her sin I do like you know doing this this kind of work it does give me flexibility that staying home with my children yes it's different but it's good yeah it keeps it's my brain active and I'm not going back into there can I meet you - the following day after work at the mosque hassan makes his way to the South London home of his other wife Sakina one of the conditions of polygamy is that you have to be fair and just between your wives not equal necessarily if I buy her two roses I don't have to go buy her two roses as well this is not you know what is how it's meant to be understood the only thing that you have to be strictly equal in at the time that you spend with us each wife gets a sin for three nights at a time Sakina works full-time in the city she's working late so Hassan collects their two children Khalil and Zachariah from nursery her son was already married and divorced when he met Sakina at university she is the first wife in his polygamous marriage if you asked me to cook I cook for myself but if I tried to kill five more people they're gonna leave with upset stomach now I'm not that bad a good the secret isn't a what is the secret don't let your wife know how good a cook you are because once you do that you're gonna be a victim of your own success you're gonna end up having to cook all the time which you realize is how could you really are this wonderful peanut flour I really enjoy I love it it's like you know I can't get enough of being a father I had a close relationship with my father and then due to circumstances that relationship you know severely broke down so I kind of like know what it's like to not have that being raised in a single-parent home make me realize how important it is to have both parents you know you think to yourself I'm not gonna do it like this when it's my turn when I become a parent I'm gonna do it you know the way that I think it's gonna be better because I experienced it this way and I didn't enjoy it [Music] meson from the marriage bureau is on his way to meet two new clients wanting a polygamous marriage we've got an oversupply I know like using the world we've got a massive oversupply of women in their 30s 40s divorced humongous I mean I can literally on our service we've got something nearly up to 15,000 to 20,000 women who are in that category divorced with children and who are looking and finding it very difficult a lot of majority of them one a monogamous relationship but more and more and more and now considering becoming co-wives in is driven by the women not by the men polygamy was practiced in Arabia before Islam but with no restrictions on the number of wives Islam limited it to four when a man marries more than one wife it is known as polygyny Nissan's come to Darby to meet a married couple looking for a second wife to join them in a polygamous marriage good to meet you you too you too as your wife my shall are goods goods have you been Omar met his wife on Zakaria on an Islamic course in Leicester he's 39 and has had a well-paid career as a physicist they've been in a polygamous marriage before but it broke down and ended in divorce what's the main reason you want to you want to go you only looking for a second wife there's no reason other than yet we're following the commercial yeah so many reads one of the books from God where they were talking about the Bible yeah all the Quran yeah it's perfectly clear in there that this is what is allowed and it's always been allowed why you read the Bible is allowed you go to Africa and you see many Christians they're practicing polluting deeper in the UK seem to think that it's a Muslim issue there it is is a matter of religion yeah it was actually Islam that came before it was unrestricted polygyny it was actually Islam that came down and restricted it to force so you don't think like many people when they hear about polygyny and Islam to think Oh brilliant that's a license to go and party yeah you know have a collection of ice but actually in reality when when the command came down a lot of men had to actually divorce many wives of a lot of people think well why are you I'm happy about it because the man gets to have a wife on whatever what do you get out of it but for me it's nothing to do with health in our I think cuz I don't need any help I don't need anything I'm happy the baby you know the main thing is I want to revive something that's dying out it's amazing because there's so many rules my mashallah Omar we love you yeah you are brother but then when it comes out to can you help me find a wife if you got a daughter or a niece or a party or a granny some way that I could marry yeah all of a sudden it's like there are real difficulty finding just somebody that was a suitable match what I would say is I want to follow his thumb that's my opinion yeah and if they've got a problem with that but they call themself a Muslim they've got a contradiction within themselves they all come with their own personalities man you know they all come with their own personalities and to find someone a personality that will meet their criterion it's great unusually Omar and on Zakaria would like a second wife to live with them and their son rather than living in a separate house there's nothing lacking in our marriage it's just if it can work is that it's a bonus it's an extra who you know there's nothing lucky so when my husband told me about pnina from the outset I thought yeah I can trust this guy and that's what made me want to marry him hear me more I know my son stupid you know if you think all he wants validity but actually if that's that's the bit that have gotten me more interested because I thought you know what if this guy can admit it from the beginning then I've got nothing to worry about there's so many women out there who are wondering where their husbands are after night you know after dog thinking is he going with another woman what's he doing you know all that stuff I have no issue with somebody telling me right I want polygyny or I'm already married or whatever else a SAN already has two wives but has decided to marry a third a woman he met through a friend if you can make her sans wife to be is of Somali origin and is almost 10 years older than him as her husband he will pay her a dowry and give her gifts she works as a driving instructor and like most Muslim women in Britain it doesn't currently wear a face veil this is normal and this is for eyes okay this is the new one she's in her 40s I want to temperature because I appreciate the maturity I appreciate that my children and I you know just from experience I think you know that's what I need you know I'm looking for companionship San and his new wife have decided to keep the wedding very simple and you care how many people can eat that's how you've got that [Music] seven or eight of these chickens here and then obvious he's gonna cut them all up for me in a some bread and now I'll bring some states and some sweets and some drinks fifty pounds no no I don't I don't think it'd be right to invite even though they accepted a polygamy you don't want to really rubbing their faces that I'm getting married and it's written to be happy and have party about it it's just something you know Angela you're doing it not for them you're doing it you know for the great benefit of yourself and the person you're marrying I've got to solve with them I've spoke to them they're aware of it they're on board they're supportive you know they don't need to be there at the table he will be as well a sans new wife anna is divorced with a teenage son and as her only male relative Hassan had to ask for his permission to marry his mother marriage covers a whole spectrum of things and amongst them is your responsibility to your Muslim sisters who have been married and divorced who are no widows who have children who for whatever reason their marriages didn't work out or whatever the case might be they still need to be married and there's still good women and they still have great qualities and and you know aspects of them that please any man it's not that it's a newspaper you scrunch it up or throw it away you know she's a human being she's a woman she's got knees just like a man's got needs and sometimes you'll find them all what you're looking for in a woman has already been married so then what do you say no because she's been married before that's discrimination and if you look at the Prophet Muhammad peace and blessings be upon him how he was in his marriages have all of the marriages that he had only one was virgin Hasan will have a simple Islamic marriage with only two witnesses and the Eman present back to Charlotte I already there be an addition to the family the private ceremony takes place behind closed doors well obviously the moon I mean and you know like if you bury shut off havin delay and you two asking me Allah give you even better shot they weren't great handle I was very good quite smooth you know as mentioned why shall I love nice points grow up in a hood part so yeah it was good the men and women celebrate separately and hearse and spends his wedding night with one of his other wives the reason why he doesn't want to divorce his first wife it is because he's nice guy he doesn't want to create difficulties at the same time meson takes a call from a woman wanting to become a co wife in a polygamous marriage he made it quite clear to me he can actually give another house another you know you know so you know you can do whatever you want basically so immediately she felt reassured that this guy has security and that's does establishes one thing within any woman single or divorces they want they're looking for security meant for a mouse room for Venus that always comes up and it comes up more in polygamous marriages I find that more impetus because men are more driven to polygamy even though there are some who look they were really sincerely want to help but those are few most men who actually do want to do polygamy most what I mean probably 80% isn't it's a sexually driven thing guys number one they look for one thing it's you know it's the body the body has to be I just don't understand the body has to be and could leave in good proportions that's the number one request for men it's a week after her sans marriage to a nap the third wife in his polygamous marriage after a three-day honeymoon in Birmingham 'san spends his first three nights with a nap at her home in Northwest London since marriage a nap has started wearing the niqab the face veil second a wonderful way before I think was very hard took up my be taken away for something for after it I mean I love sisters honestly the murder love problem outside of brother has a wife maybe more spoke but then any so if she had said no to me about the niqab it would have been an issue only for you know for a number of reasons why because I have a two wife's waiting cup yeah and um they didn't used to before I married them I feel like you know she's something covered and protected for me you know some people they cover their cars on they they put these sheets over their car you know they cover their valuables you know they keep it away from you know people who've seen in wanting and desiring things that they have and in a similar way you know your wife will my wife being covered it's a it's a potential for me I have to remember they got family before me said you miss him when he goes away of course yeah it's nice in an East London Park a SAN is getting all his families together although they live in separate houses a son likes them all to meet up to older children from his very first marriage also joined I'm not really for this everyone in the same house know ideally maybe sounds great but if it's a bit too much pressure it sparks my flight over anything whose turn is it to cook you don't really want that you tried to limit as much conflict as you can it's all about conflict limitation it's the first time his wives Sukeena and nabila will meet his new third wife a nap in the morning she snores at night another via nose well Sally novella this is a standard a shot of Malaga I'm gonna play some football honey and paper bull yeah you can't just really relax you have to kind of be very careful no don't joke too much of her joking with her if she doesn't understand a joke she might take it negatively you think it's about her you know don't always show your emotion to one of them you know this is the time and you really just have to be very strict and very so you can't really you know come and relax and then you know cuddle one of your wife's and then you have a wife sitting there thinking who knows what got some stories to tell you that I think they've got so much to tell you they think that I haven't told you about the true me I haven't represented myself probably are there which what she finds out what you're like well I don't know what they want to tell you yeah you'll find out you'll find out I got nothing to hide everything everything that I've said everything that I told you is what they've been attorney you know you have those people and they have the stick or the plate on it it may go like that mmm and it spins and then you get another one and it spins and they get enough on his feet and then you go go that one make sure you see and then you give me is that keeping all of these plates spinning you cannot let one top floor fall off [Music] a common challenge for the men with many wives is keeping all their families happy his Bingley area most of the Muslims live here in Sheffield Muhammad Elgin a has been polygamists for over 15 years with three wives and 11 children he's worked in restaurants all his life but now at 43 he's been unemployed for two years and is struggling to find work again is it any other sister available second one or third one he's a brave man his brother may be said yeah you want to is a condition of one is enough is enough yeah one is enough to the problem three is like a sin his wives also live in separate houses mo is from yemen and is Muhammad's second wife they've been married 13 years and have four children can we have a smile then not now they're there and when I say the first time I think this man I live in the world needs a month she's taking me now new stuff it's I she said when she looked at me and keep looking and looking she felt us the man who she was waiting for a long time ago it wasn't her mind a short walk away is Hannah's home Mohammed's first wife she's English and met Muhammad 20 years ago when he was working in a restaurant in Spain they also have four children and this is why yeah for my first wife for my second wife those two are brothers and those two are brothers the rest is in the house dude something so you people we scared to ask you well not really I just always thought about it being weird just unusual people long time ago thinking like people who have got more than one life is because they like women I don't have that mentality no to me is having more than one wife is sharing a marriage wife with another person like you're making another house to man to open another house is a big matter [Music] Mohamed's third and most recent wife lives thousands of miles away in morocco where he originally came from at 26 Faria is his youngest wife and mother to three of his children it's been seven months since she last saw him jealous jealous he talks to me visit because she is a second wife she has to take it in another perspective she say okay he is allowed to have three or four wives so she has to put herself that if he's going to happen she has to accept it as well sometimes when it comes to the feeling they're not going to show you what they feel inside well of course I am a man who knows the feeling of a woman that's why I didn't show it to her in a way or is a big issue not trying to make it is a very small issue and the time will show it it's fine sometimes I do realize they wish I'm a man just for her nobody yeah in the Morocco one time she told me sis no I'm very happy with you but it's a shame I have to share you with another or two white but this is Islam and I was laughing she's white laughing you're not the only one who's saying this you want to go to the park to play a little bit mohamed encourages his children to play together and see themselves as belonging to one large family three wives one husband 11 kids we have I teach my kids like for example this is your mother that's my second wife the children were with her is your brothers and sisters are you different she never liked Nabil asleep here because every time I come back when I called and then she she eats like two plates of a dinner and then she comes home she didn't eat anything so that's why someone thinks that she shouldn't come here anymore I want my kids just to say I want to visit my brother and sister in fact I wish they could live in one Road one house next to another you'll be more happy in mullah but some women they don't think like that my dad and my stepmother fall out sometimes then it's hard for me to like see my brothers this it's really difficult when someone falls out in the family because this is really like a big deal would you like to have more than one wife I don't know I'd rather just because it's like it's hard obviously providing for large wives family because there's a lot more of you and there's less to go around every weekend Mohammed tries to get his children together for a day out but as Muhammad and his wives are unemployed and dependent on benefits days like these are rare the difficulty of balancing many families on little money is a source of tension attention exacerbated by his desire to share the state benefits they receive with his wife and children in Morocco my own experience the difficulties is is the money-wise money plays a lot a big role in supporting three wives and the kids but sometimes I think if you have the idea clear you live as a family even if you live in different places yeah you do need to share all that amount of money what everybody gets because it's one family and as soon if your wife start thinking independently than the idea of one family that will compromise a little bit the situation and put pressure on the husband more than anything else his relationship with his wife Hannah is really suffering and this is why she's chosen not to appear one solution oh no Mohammed keeps in near daily contact with his third wife in Morocco Hakim I love you papa be dead shot I just drank her Anna I failed this must be bringing them and they really miss me the case and my wife and he keeps saying Baba leave everything a coma CEA's there's been nearly seven months we didn't see you and I said you know because I don't have enough money to to go on travel and I'm thinking to borrow some money and then do the trip even if it's for a short time a shortage of money in the demands of maintaining three families has placed the tensions between Muhammad and his two wives in England at breaking point one of my kids from the first house wanted to business second house I just ignored it honesty no he wants to call me is welcome we start going with me now this is my house I am the one who gave the decision as you know if my son want to come to see me and see his brother so he has to come please send us okay look I'm going to let him in she said okay it's not welcome if you carry on talking with me like this where you might leave this one Muhammad's two polygamous marriages in England are on the strain and for the past few weeks he's been sleeping on the sofas at his wife's ounces do you think you're a good husband I think so yeah I think so because to be a good husband it doesn't mean you obey your wife all the time no you obey your wife as long you see yourself not taking anything from you as a man there are no certain figures for his Lamech marriage breakdown and divorce for some women family pressure and the fear of isolation after divorce probably helps keep numbers down Bradford Yorkshire home to Shaheen Qureshi she had an arranged marriage to her first cousin from Pakistan when she was 16 it failed and ended in divorce ten years ago soon after she met her present husband and agreed to become his second wife in a polygamous marriage she has eight children two with him it has been weeks since she last saw her husband who lives nearby with his first wife I'd like to know where I stand basically because this is my life and I've got a lot of it left my mom be like oh I feel director a hard husband isn't support in any way he could so it's very hard for anyone but most of times we do feel uncomfortable about it it's never been that he's not speaking to me that's a bit strange that's not like him and I don't know what's going through his head I don't think that's the way fun being cool wife especially when you've gotten when you find out you've got that everyone's got another wife when I'm at home and I look out my kitchen window as far as left as I can look at as far as right I can look and ahead of me everybody's husbands come home at the end of the day or in the morning after a night shift and I seem to be the only single parent on my street so for me I just feel like you know there's so many years on still being on my own it's really heartbreaking you know the drill when you get back home uniforms off until you do the claws and strip to mask here after weeks of trying Sahin finally manages to talk to her husband about the state of their marriage I just said that I took the blame for everything just to save the marriage I'll take the blame for everything I apologize said fine everything's my fault got two daughters here need to look at that and he wasn't having any of it message you want me to end it he says end it Sharon's decided to apply for a divorce as her Islamic marriage is not recognized under British law she's applying to a Sharia Court the process will take several months and involve a tense at conciliation count of 10 years I could honestly say being very generous I've probably had six months of time with me in him in ten years and I knew that influenced my dad I wouldn't have somebody there seven days a week but I was happy with you leaving maybe one if it came down to it just to keep the marriage going and so things changed because year in year out things can change so I'm high compromise I can compromise in that way but this is not this is not a marriage after months of searching boom are still has only one wife if anybody's tried try looking for a wife l they'll realize you're not gonna find a wife when you're looking for it it's got this going to happen like you're gonna meet a lady in a supermarket or it's gonna be when you're least expecting when you're least prepared for it that's the time you can expect Cupid to strike it's Wednesday night and Hassan is on his way to one of his wives they say absence makes the heart grow fonder isn't it and part of that is probably true because that period that short period of being away it makes it builds our you know you do miss your wife you just can't help it you miss them there was nothing you couldn't do you know if anything ever broke our was not working or something it's like he had magic hands and I felt so calm around him and stress-free and I felt safe I felt safe and I felt like I was home if that makes sense not home isn't in the building but somewhere where I belonged yeah that's a really hard there are a lot of good memories there it's hard to let go it feels like I'm just trying to rip us apart and I feel like part of me is being ripped away from me and I don't want it to end but my head says you have to end it my heart says no so it's a big wall going on between my head and my heart [Music] our client all those martyrs long time ago smell it see already Mohammed is returned to Morocco after a nine-month absence what I fail home in all houses is here with the Moroccan wife is because of the traditional way of life how we live so is this closer than thank you you couldn't get let's cry thanks my wife doesn't know English see my Santa Lucia cousins in Arabic in mah mahp ceiling my wife said oh this is not what we need now just the fourth one [Music] you

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Keywords: The Men With Many Wives, Men with multiple wives, Polygamy, Multiple Wives, Documentary Movies - Topic, Topic, Documentaries, Social, timeline, BBC Three, tlc, Islamic Law, Full Documentary, BBC Three documentary, UK, Islam, Marriage, only human, TV Shows - Topic, Full length Documentaries, Documentary, Real Stories, Society, Movies, bBC 3, Muslima, An-Nisa, Aisha, Talaq, Khadija, Abaya, Tarawi, Taraweeh, Iftar, Mubarak, Kareem, Ramadan, Muhammad, Mohammed, Salah, Hajj, Umrah, Madrasa

Id: TxU5Xhyljvs

Length: 43min 50sec (2630 seconds)

Published: Sat Dec 05 2015