THE I-LAND: Netflix's Worst Show Ever!

watch out for cannibals and bad acting oh my god because we have the worst show ever about people stuck on an island and I've seen the ending of lost Netflix as the island is the worst thing to happen to an island since fire festival currently sitting at 3.8 on IMDB which is just slightly higher than my uber rating so you know I had to take one for the team and watch this train wreck the show begins with this woman chase washed upon the shore of a deserted island it's only a matter of time before she meets Blue Crush and instead of them being like hey oh my god what happened are you okay she immediately gets a knife pulled on her every character being an absolute [ __ ] for no reason when they should be working together to I don't know survive is a common occurrence on this show altogether there are 10 castaways who immediately get to work at finding food and building shelter oh they don't [Music] or you could be like Taylor over here and decide to tan at least when Shannon did it on loss she thought a rescue team would be hours away here these guys have no idea where they are how they got there and their first priority is to have some fun it's insane I should also mention that this show throws in completely useless red herrings under the guise that it may be integral to the plot later on like this book Taylor digs up on the beach Jules Verne's the mysterious island you think that would come into play later on but nope it's useless no idea why it's there so chasing this guy Brody decide to actually be smart and look for water and they stumble across this waterfall and let me just tell you guys this scene is a masterclass of perfection first of all Brody suggests that the two of them don't tell the others about the water maybe we should secondly you think the others won't be able to find this huge-ass waterfall that clearly is just a few minutes from the beach now listen to this I'm sorry but you can't just get rid of the food problem by pointing into the jungle and saying yeah and food is there some magical food factory you didn't show us the problem of food is one of the most important things to figure out when stranded on an island and the writers here just blow it off with a throwaway line we'll get to this a bit later with the origins of the mysterious bananas and for no reason brody tries to hold on guys I can't use the r-word my last video which used it got demonetised I'm not bitter about it anyway let's just say Brody tries to hmm violate chase are you [ __ ] kidding me because you know the first thing you want to do when you're stranded on an island is to violate someone so back on the beach these idiots are swimming instead of making a shelter or being in any way productive when they're attacked by sharks because of course so one of the castaways Donovan is eaten and they all just kind of go back with their lives Brody tries to justify his actions what though and he returns to the beach with some items by himself and Blue Crush is like where'd you get all that stuff you know you just tried violating her two seconds ago now you're white knighting oh and remember how he was like let's not tell the others about the water this is him now I just I think it's better if we work together as a team okay okay chase arrives back at the beach and beats the [ __ ] out of Brody before storming off and finding Donovan's shark bitten body on the beach he's still alive and they bring him back and then there's this insanely confusing explanation that each of their bodies when they washed up on shore was thirty-nine steps apart from one another and if you multiply that by 10 you get the distance to someplace on the island they didn't to go to it doesn't make any sense but the writers just thought it was cool to throw the number 39 everywhere because apparently it's the average number of steps from a jail cell to the electric chair oh yeah everyone here is a prisoner on death row and this is just a simulation spoiler alert so get this all the castaways decide to leave the guy dying from the shark bite to go on this stupid quest which just ends up leading them to a sign that doesn't really help the plot at all like one of them couldn't stay back to make sure he was okay chase is frustrated that no one believes her that something weird is happening on this island and when she's by herself she finds an emergency raft floating out in the ocean so she goes to retrieve it and uh-oh cuts her foot so this idiot knowing a dude was just bitten by a shark a few hours ago decides to swim after the raft with this open bleeding wound a weed that stupid on the island Blue Crush decides to hook up with Brody the guy she was just warned sexual assaults people cuz okay and how the [ __ ] did this girl get a banana like look at that thing it's perfect should be in some Delmont a commercial chase tries to open one of the locked boxes from the raft and God knows how she figured out the combination inside is a gun at oh they will never find it hidden under this palm branch more bananas and this girl is making cute hats Brody is found murdered on the beach and guess who gets the blame she's knocked unconscious and wakes up in a futuristic prison facility in Texas where we find out that she's part of a simulation to see if death row inmates can be rehabilitated we meet this absolute caricature of a prison warden who is so over-the-top it's hard to take him seriously don't get up oh thank you thank you chases return to be put back in the simulation she's able to escape beat the crap out of several guards and the warden isn't even reprimanded for this so even though she's violent and later tries to throw a chair at the jury responsible for seeing if she's a good candidate to be rehabilitated they let her back in the program anyway she's taken into a truck to be sent back and the guard just randomly decides to attack her by the way in the previous scene we've seen her take out four train guards by herself but here there's only one dude watching her and she's not even restrained what jail are these guys running obviously she gets away only to find herself in this pod room where her and the others are being held for the simulation and she gets caught back on the island the others explained that she was only gone for ten minutes but in the real world she was gone for hours this is kind of weird since later on we see shots of the guards live-streaming what's going on there but how can they do that if time is so distorted the castaways are introduced to Bonnie and Clyde yes those are their real names who are basically rogue u.s. marshals under the command of warden wells to stir [ __ ] up in the simulation honestly I'm still not sure what the point of these characters were really but they tell the castaways to find the village on the other end of the island which in retrospect plays no significant role in the plot Clyde kills one of the castaways Hayden who we see have a flashback of her killing this guy and crossing his name off a list it's explained later on in a throwaway line that Hayden was on death row because she was a vigilante killer who killed men who abused women and heavily implied that she was the one who killed Brody after he abused Blue Crush is it all making sense now of course it is I guess this is a good time to highlight how every character on the island had their memories erased but yet the characters still know certain things that are convenient for the writers like Blair who was a nurse in real life is able to help Donovan even though she wouldn't remember that she was a nurse speaking of Blair she was on death row for assisting in euthanasia and when she talks to the doctor about one of the patients filing a do not resuscitate this happens she told me she fell did do not resuscitate well we don't have it on file she doesn't want to live anymore that's really not our problem with the paperwork got lost um I'm pretty sure it is you're the hospital no back at the beach Donovan is running [ __ ] you just got bit by a shark Taylor has had enough and steals the emergency RAF to leave the island on her own apparently without any food or water because everyone on this show is a dumb idiot chase does some investigating in a run-down resort they actually found in episode 2 yet none of them have decided to make this their shelter yet and learns that her and Cooper used to be boyfriend/girlfriend in real life I have no idea how Taylor got on this rock but okay let's go with it and hosh it she ain't doing so hot but she seems to be enjoying it it's here we get some insight into blue crushes character and wait is that the guy from workaholics you know how this is gonna feel coming out feast probably not good it's gonna make our buttholes bleed it's actually her husband who straight-up attacks her in front of her children she ends up cheating on him and when he finds out about it says she'll never see her children again so what does she do kill them Bonnie and Clyde have reinstated everyone's memories somehow and Donovan suddenly becomes obsessed with Blair this place is [ __ ] awesome you just got bit by a shark apparently in his previous life Donovan was an in cell not a good time can I at least give you my flowers no I'm married they're almost as pretty as you tonight so Mason uses the only flair they have to draw Donovan's attention away from Blair why the [ __ ] did you fire that flare gun deaths don't you've only got one flare but when Blair later uses the same gun to defend herself from Donovan it magically has another bullet also everyone in this damn show is so bad at hiding [ __ ] cool rack focus to a skull where Taylor has found a bowl that says chicken soup now I don't know about you guys but when I find a random bowl of chicken soup I drink that [ __ ] Bonnie and Clyde show up no idea how they also got to this island and they're about to kill Taylor when she says this line talk to your manager breath anyways they decide to let the cannibal on the island eat her we don't even get to see the cannibal I wish I saw the cannibal that'd be freaking cool anyways it was the cannibal who provided her with that soup but it wasn't chicken it was her fingers yeah she didn't realize her fingers were missing Blue Crush wakes up to find the village burning and is haunted by the ghosts of her children who she says she misses every day well maybe you shouldn't have killed them then jay says a flashback to when she met Cooper in the Marines Cooper asked her out in the middle of a mission which leads to this Cooper has his face half burned but for some reason it's not burned in the simulation Blue Crush who stabbed herself in the real world still has her stab wound in the simulation why doesn't Cooper have his burns oh that's right because the writers thought it would be a cool reveal later on in the season gotcha we learned that Cooper killed chases overbearing mother after she wouldn't give them any money but the thing I like about this flashback scene is that she's enjoying a nice glass of wine in her mansion in a dimly lit basement with a gun this flashback gives Cooper some sort of PTSD and he accidentally kills Moses when he snaps out of it but the only thing he can think of is remembering that he killed chases mom Moses hello there's a dying man here you just shot there attacked by Bonnie and Clyde where chase manages to kill Bonnie but here's the weird thing in episode 3 the warden tells us that if you die in the simulation you die in real life but we see Bonnie alive and well in the last episode there's no logical consistency in this show chase is stabbed but is taken out of the simulation just in time where she awakens back in the prison the jury heard Cooper's confession of murdering her mother a crime she was on death row for so now she's free to go but the sheriff's job is in jeopardy because he was sabotaging the program a sabotage which resulted in the deaths of several of the inmates before chase can go she attends this pointless scene with a therapist or lawyer I don't know what she is but she tells chase the point of the simulation is to see if the inmates can achieve Redemption but then she goes on to say that they don't know what that looks like yet so let me get this straight you put people on an island subject them to torture and you don't even know when they're supposedly cured or not what could go wrong the warden convinces the nurse to commit murder by lethally injecting chase I guess her job is more important than living with the guilt of killing someone but the warden is so stupid he forgets his own prison has security cameras in it and he's caught by dr. vise one of the jury members and later sent to the island as punishment for his crimes we find out that Chase is actually an old woman god this show and for some reason the inmates are put into the simulation looking like the age when they committed the crime it's just a simulation I guess that makes sense because who would watch a show about a bunch of grandmas on an island killing each other actually that show sounds infinitely better than this one one of the more hilarious aspects of the show is how the writers try to justify this program being funded by the US government apparently in the future global warming has gotten so bad that the water levels have risen causing massive crime waves so the government now has so many criminals that needs to redeem them so many more people are criminals now since the water started taking the land that we have to have a way to redeem people here's a solution how about not spending billions of dollars on a simulation for 10 death row inmates and put it towards say renewable energy levies really cool hats dr. Weiss says that Chase will have about an hour before she sees herself in her true form and she's thrust out into the real world we get this shot of the real world with flying cars and giant skyscrapers yet all the technology items and clothing on the island look like they're from 2019 let's also remind ourselves that the last episode has almost no action in it it's basically scene after scene of people talking in chairs the final episode should be the climax it should be where all the build-up from the previous episodes come to a head yet the island achieves none of that it ends in the equivalent of a wet fart with bad acting dialogue potholes and an entire cast of unlikable characters the island solidifies itself as the worst show on Netflix it pisses me off to no end that shows like the Oh a get cancelled yet trash like this gets funding with new platforms like Disney Plus and plus dropping in the next few months Netflix will no longer be the only game in town so you better shape up Netflix I'd hate for my ex-girlfriends account I'm still secretly using for free to be shut down due to shitty content also bring back the yo a thank you for watching everyone make sure to give the video a like and subscribe with the bell on I always have new content on the way if you happen to see this travesty of a show please comment below with your thoughts you can also follow me on twitter at things story whitey and until next time remember daddy loves you very much [Music]

Channel: Think Story

Views: 914,779

Keywords: the iland, the island, the i-land, worst netflix show, worst netflix show 2019, the i-land bad, the i-land is bad, netflix, netflix original, bad show, i-land, iland, the i-land review, the i-land season 1, kate bosworth, worst show ever, bad ending, lost, lost tv show, worst netflix shows

Id: 9csvbMK0fxQ

Length: 15min 1sec (901 seconds)

Published: Sat Sep 14 2019