The History Of The Entire World REACTION!! | OFFICE BLOKES REACT!!

[Music] hi guys welcome to office blokes reacts i'm office blog dave and i'm rocking the best merch this side of the other side of altering him look at that link in the description i'm office bloke mark and i also think he's rocking the best merch anywhere anywhere hmm i don't think so i can't think of any better not within 200 yards of this studio yeah 150 maybe and that's all we have time for this week yeah yeah cheers for that guys that was the history of the entire officebooks reacts channel and john is on the next one uh yeah and we've also got a patreon we've got a patreon channel go to patreon.com uh putting off his blokes react and uh yeah go and support the channel if you want to do it do we do it why not yeah and we've got a couple of other channels aren't we office box try office blogs podcast yeah and we have actually released our first podcast in about six months and we so head over to office blogs podcasts and check it out because we talk about our first our first six months on youtube as a reaction channel yep amongst other things amongst other things yeah so it's all sorts interesting listen give it a listening if you like it subscribe all that good stuff i'll do more and we'll do more uh that's what i said i said so loads and loads of requests for the history of the entire world um quite a long one that's why we've not got around to it yet in there yeah but i don't have now yes even longer we've got around to it i'm guessing i'm guessing it's along the same vein as like the oversimplified things yeah because it seems to be in the comments to that we get a lot of requests for this so uh should we get into it about the world why not hi you're on a rock floating in space pretty cool huh some of it's water [ __ ] it actually most of it's water i can't even get from here to there without buying a boat it's sad i'm sad i miss you a long time ago actually never and also now nothing is nowhere when never makes sense right like i said it didn't happen nothing was never anywhere that's why it's been everywhere it's been so everywhere you don't need to wear so you don't need to win that's how every it gets was that it it's right video it's just going to be a dick flush forget this i want to be something go somewhere do something i want things to change i want to invent time and space and i know it's possible because everything is here and it probably already happened i just don't know when to start and that's exactly where it started oh i paused it i think there's a universe now what's it made of corks and stuff ah that's a thing in a place don't like it try a new place at a different time try to stick together because the world is going to get bigger and emptier but it's not empty yet it's still very full and about a jillion degrees great news the quarks are now happily married in groups of three called a proton or a neutron and there's something else flying around too that wants to join in but can't because it's still too great news the protons and neutrons are now happily married to each other some of them even doubled up great news the electrons have now joined in congratulations the world is now a bunch of gas in space but it's getting closer together and it's getting closer together and it's getting closer together new [ __ ] just got made some stars burn out and die oh this is unbelievable this is like how we describe stuff at work in it they're probably talking to each other it's one of our meetings stars burn out and die with passion and make some brand new way crazier [ __ ] which allows newer more interesting stars to be made and then die and explode so now stars have cool stuff around them like rocks ice and funny clouds which can make some very interesting things like this ball of flaming rocks for example holy [ __ ] we just got hit with another ball of flaming rocks and it kind of made a mess which is weather update it's raining rocks from outer space weather update those rocks might have had water inside them and now there's hot steam in the sky weather update cooler temperatures today and the floor is no longer lava weather update it's raining severe flooding alert the entire world is now an ocean volcano what something's alive in the ocean oh cool like a plant or an animal no a microscopic speck it lives at the bottom of the ocean and soup which is being served hot and fresh made from gnarly space ingredients left over from when it was raining rocks or whatever oh yeah and it can do that it has secret instructions written inside itself telling it how to build another one of itself so that's pretty nifty i would say tired of living at the bottom of the ocean using a revolutionary technique you can convert sunlight into foods side effect now there's oxygen everywhere and the skies blue then the earth might have been a snowball for a while maybe even a couple of times it's a sponge it's a plant it's a worm and some other types of weird strange water bugs and strange fish it's the cambrian explosion wow that's animals this is absolutely amazing i'm like just how he's done it with the music mixed in and everything he's just it's captivating i think everything together yeah i think if school was like this and the other um what's the one we do simply obviously oversimplified yeah everyone want to be a lot smarter oh i think so yeah i think should try it you know what it'd do it'd give people the intrigue to get into the boring sciences stuff after it wasn't it yeah just delve into it a bit more yeah as a startup [Laughter] we're still in the ocean hey can we go on land no why the sun is a deadly laser okay now the animals can go on land come on animals let's go on land nope can't walk yet and there's no food yet so i don't care okay will you learn to walk if there's plants up here maybe said some bugs and fish learn to use an egg i was already doing that use a stronger egg put water in it have a baby on land in an egg water is in the egg baby in the egg in the water in the egg works for me and now everything's huge including bugs want to see a map of the land sure oh [ __ ] now everything's dead just kidding you're the survivors keep your eye on this one because it's about to become the dinosaurs here's another map of the land yeah it broke apart don't worry about it does that all time here comes a meteor and the dinosaurs are gone it's mammal time here come the mammals look at those breasts now they're gonna dominate the world and one of them just learned how to grab stuff and walk no like walk like that and grab stuff at the same time and bang rocks together to make pointed rocks ouch and set things on fire and make crazy sounds with their voice which can mean different things and now they're everywhere almost ice age what you can walk over here cool not anymore well i guess we're stuck here now let's review there's people on the planet and they're chasing their food [ __ ] it time to plant some grass look at this i control the food now now everyone will want to be my friend and live near me let's all build houses except mine is bigger because i own the food this is great i wonder if anyone else is doing this tired of using rocks for everything use metal it's underground better farming was just invented in a sweet dank valley right in between these two rivers and the animals are helping guess what happens next more food and more people who came to buy the food now you need people to help make the food and keep track of the sales and now you need houses for people to live in and people to make the houses and now there's more people and they invent things which makes things better and more people come and there's more farming and more people to make more things for more people and now there's business money writing laws power [Music] coming soon my head's absolutely baffled that's amazing well i've never seen anything like this before i thought it was going to be like oversimplified but it's it kind of it's funnier your classic is the same genre as oversimplified but done in such a different way yeah it's very clever it's good stuff oh my gosh i'm loving it loving it so much dank river valley near you meanwhile out in the middle of nowhere the horse is probably being tamed why is all my metal so lame and lumpy tired of using lame sad metal introducing bronze made with special ingredient tin from the far lands of tin land i don't know my dealer won't tell me where he gets it also guess what egypt meanwhile out in the middle of nowhere they figured out how to put wheels on a horse now we're getting somewhere also china the middle east is getting more complicated maybe because it's in the middle of the east knock knock or clop clop it's the people with the horses and they made an empire and then everyone else copied their horses oh look it must be the greeks or a beta version of the greeks let's check in with the indus river valley civilization they're gone guess who's not gone new arrivals in india maybe it's those horse people i was talking about or their cousins or something [Music] and they wrote some hymns and mantras and stuff you could make a religion out of this there's the bronze age collapse now the phoenicians can get down to business also can we switch to a medal that's a little easier to find thanks look who came back to israel it's the 12 tribes of israel and they believe in god just one though he's got like a 10-step program here's some huge heads must be the olmecs the phoenicians make some colonies the greeks copy their idea and make some colonies the phoenicians made a colony so big it makes colonies here comes the assyrian empire never mind it's the babylonian media it's the persian empire wow that's big ah the buddha was just enlightened who's the buddha this guy who sat under a tree for so long that he figured out how to ignore the fact that we're all dying you can make a religion out of this oops china just broke but while it was breaking confucius was figuring out how to have good morals ah the greeks just had the idea of thinking about stuff and right over here alexander just had the idea of conquering the entire persian empire it's a great idea he was great and now he's dead hopefully the rest of the gang will be able to share the empire evenly between them knock knock it's chandragupta he says get the hell out of here will you get the hell out of here if i give you 500 elephants okay thanks bye [Music] but what about this part that's the tamil kings no one conquers the tamil kings who are the table kings merchants probably i would like to buy the spices me said the arabians swiftly buying and selling it to the rest of the world hey chyna put itself back together again with good morals as their main philosophy actually they have three main philosophies out here the horse nomads run wild and free and they would like to ransack your city let's check the greekification levels of the greekified kingdoms greatification overload bye said the parthians bye said the jews hi said the parthians taking over the entire place hey said the romans eating the entire mediterranean for breakfast thanks for invading our homeland said the jews who were starting to get tired of people invading their homeland hi everything's great said some guy who seems to be getting very popular and is then arrested and killed for being too popular which only makes it more popular you can make a religion out of this want silk now you can buy it from china they just made it [Music] or you can get the wrong water sick new trade routes said india accidentally spreading their religion to the entire southeast that's a good place for an epic trading kingdom there goes buddhism traveling up the silk road i wonder if it'll reach china before it collapses again remember the persian empire yep said the persians making a new one aksum is getting so powerful they would like to build a long stick has anyone populated madagascar yet let's do it together [Music] still can't cross the sahara desert try camels hell yeah now we got business said the ghana empire selling lots of gold enslaved hi i live in the roman empire and i was wondering is loving jesus no actually okay sure said constantine moving the capital way over here to be closer to his main rival don't worry about rome it won't fall [Music] [Music] it's like it's a lot to take in isn't it but it's just entertainment-wise it's a lot of vehicles like these little songs and it's little tunes and little bits on the organ yeah good thumb wow i'm just blown away right it really it's amazing not chandragupta just gupta first name chandra the first guess who's in rome barbarians what's a barbarian non-romans said the romans being invaded by non-romans r.i.p roman empire or actually just half of it the other half is just fine but it's not in rome anymore so let's give it a new name oh and here's a huge city population everyone the goat turks have taken over the entire eurasian step great job coke turks how's india broken how's china back together how's those trading kingdoms bigger and there's more of them korea has three kingdoms japan has a kingdom it's the sunrise kingdom [Music] deep in the arabian desert on the top of a mountain the real god whispers in muhammad's ear so he goes down to the cube where everyone worships gods and he tells them their gods are all fake and everyone got so mad at him that he had to leave town and go to a different town you can make a religion out of this and maybe conquer the world as well the roman empire's long gone but somehow the pope is still the pope plus there's new kingdoms all over europe i wonder if there's room for moors here's all the wisdom in a house it's the baghdad house of wisdom just in time for the islamic golden age let's bring stuff to the coast and sell it and become the swahili on the swahili coast said the swahili on the swahili coast remember this tiny space you have to go through to get from here to there someone owns that now want to get enlightened in the middle of nowhere the franks have the biggest kingdom in europe and the pope is so proud that he invites the king over for christmas surprise you're the new roman emperor said the pope pretending to still be part of the roman empire then the franks broke their kingdom into what will later be called france and not france the northerners or just norse if you don't have much time are exploring they go north from the north to the northern north and they find some land two types of land and they name them accordingly they also invade some other places and get called many names such as vikings there's the ruse the kievan ruse are they vikings i don't think so said the kevin ruse okay fair enough the pope is ready to make some more emperors of the roman empire the holy roman empire it's actually germany but don't worry about it new kingdoms which brand would you like mine's better mine's better mine's better a time to conquer england said william it's a bird it's a plane it's the seljuk jerks said the byzantine empire who's getting so small and almost doesn't exist anymore we need help they need help so they call the pope hey pope can you help us get rid of the celtics maybe take back the holy land on the way come on i know you want to take back the holy land yes i do actually want to do that let's do a crusade they did many crusades some of which almost didn't fail but at least the italians got some sweet trade deals goodbye mayans goodbye toltecs hello mississippi look at those mounds there's the pueblo i always wondered how to build a town and a cliff guess who's here come here where here and pagan is there vietnam unconquered itself korea just became itself and japan is so addicted to art that the military might have to take over the government china just invented bombs and typing and the mongols just invaded most of the universe nice going genghis i bet that will last a long time some of the islamic turks were unaffected by the mongol invasions because they were i think genghis khan killed some ridiculous yeah percentage of the world population like 20 or something just a lot to take in is there a test at the end of it do you think i hope not i didn't take any notes what goes on in this guy's head yeah i don't yeah a lot lot to take in there you ready ready yeah cool invading india is it tonga time i think it's tonga time i just found out where the swahili gets all their gold look at this chad means lake there's an empire there right in the middle of the king of mali is so rich he's going on tour to let everyone know wow that guy's rich everyone said the christians are doing a great job reconquering iberia which will soon be called spain and not spain please remain christian we will check in later to see if you're still christian when you least expect whoops half of europe just died china's back yay hey come here time to share new kingdoms here and there oh look who controls all the islands it's the mahajapit oh italy is really rich time for them to care a lot about art in the ancient classics it's kind of like a rebirth here's a printer let's make books so you think you can conquer the byzantine empire yep said the ottoman turks nice job ottoman turks oops you missed a spot don't forget to ban europe from the indian spice trade what that's [ __ ] said portugal spiceless well i guess we'll have to wait said christopher columbus probably smoking crack if the world is round let's go this way to india now don't worry we already got this said portugal so chris goes to spain hey spain want to hire me to find india by going around back of the world no please no please no please okay so he sails into the ocean and discovers more ocean and then discovers the indies and japan let's draw a line to decide who gets which half of the world the aztec and inca empires are off to a great start i wonder if they know that europe just discovered their continent the hapsburgs are marrying into so many royal families they might have to start marrying each other move over lithuania here comes moscow ivan wants to make russia great again move over timarids maybe go invade india or something persia just made persia persian again let's make it the other kind of islam the one where we thought the first guy should have been the other guy hey christians do you sin now you can buy your way out of hell that's [ __ ] this whole thing is [ __ ] that's a scam [ __ ] the church here's 95 reasons why said martin luther in his new book which might have accidentally started the protestant reformation you know what would be magnificent said suleiman wearing an onion hat what if the atomizer was really big which it is now what if russia was big said ivan trying not to be terrible portugal had a dream that they controlled the entire indian ocean including the spice trade and then that dream was real and spain realized that this is not india but they pillaged it anyway damn said england and france we gotta start pillaging some stuff then the dutch revolt and all the hipsters moved to amsterdam damn said amsterdam we gotta start pillaging some stuff question one can you get to india through north america no but at least there's beaver question two steal the spice trade that's not a question but the dutch did it anyway guess where all the sugars made in brazil stolen in the caribbean and it's so goddamn profitable you might forget to not do slavery the next thing on russia's to-do list is to get bigger britain and france are having a friendly discussion about who should control the entire world more specifically ohio then it escalates into a seven year discussion giving prussia a chance to show austria who's boss but what about britain and france did they figure out who's boss yes they did it's britain guess who's broke also britain so they start taxing the hell out of america [ __ ] you says america declaring their independence and fighting for it and france helps them win now france is broke and britain will have to send their prisoners to a different continent wait if france is broke why do the king and queen still wear such fancy dresses let's overthrow the palace and cut all their heads off said robespierre cutting everybody's head off until someone eventually got mad and cut his head off you can make a religion no don't but haiti is starting to like the idea of a revolution especially the slaves who free themselves by killing their masters why didn't we think of this before wait who's in charge of france now said napoleon trying to take over europe luckily they banished him to an island but he came back luckily they banished him to another island there goes latin america becoming independent in the latin american wars of independence britain just figured out how to turn steam into power so now they can make many different types of machines and factories with machines in them so they can make a lot of products real fast then they invent some trains and conquer india and maybe put some trains there hey china said britain buy stuff from us nah dude we already got everything says china so britain tried to get them addicted to opium which worked actually but then china made it illegal and dumped it all into the sea so britain threw a hissy fit and made them open up five cities and give them an island britain and russia are playing a game where they try to stop each other from conquering afghanistan also the sultan of oman lives in zanzibar now that's just where he lives india just had a revolution and they would like to govern themselves now nope said britain governing them even harder than before technology is about to go crazy just before technology goes crazy yeah again but my head is absolutely just swimming it's just crazy i'm keeping up quite well oh yeah now i am yeah it's going fast though in there it really is i like now they've got into all's being good at things yeah it's getting more to the stage that you might know a bit about it so it's like okay it's a bit easier to take anything but uh yeah that's a lot a lot of information he really i had something to say and then he made about six other points before i found a point where i could pause it and it's gone like i literally can't remember what i was going to say was it about opium it might have been it's gone it's gone forever it's finally figured out whether slavery is good or bad it's bad they decided and then they continued manifesting their destiny which is to kill the rest of the natives and take their land and maybe kick out the mexicans too i know let's rape africa said europe scrambling to see who could rape it the fastest they never got ethiopia britain and france are still hungry the united states ran out of destiny to manifest so they're looking for more wait spain controls cuba well blame something on them and go to war that's what i was going to say it's like a never-ending cycle like what we consider the world to be now isn't static it's absolutely even changing we've not evolved past this yeah you see you know russia is trying to land grab and there'll be other countries that do it maybe sometime in the future we'll try and do it again it'll probably just go on forever won't we yeah as long as it's humans then it's going to be boundaries and borders yeah that's right yeah of course agreed oh yeah that's the name of the thing isn't it spices apparently spikes yeah it's a big thing though we've got skills that's true we've got spice girls and we've got people in the comments section getting spicy sometimes we've got spicy manchester it's a capital must be amount of people see on spice yeah good point girls covered apparently i'm gonna bleep that out did you hear that it was a joke it was just joe rogan no i didn't i didn't what should we blame on spain let's blame the main on spain so they blame the maine on spain now we're in business to celebrate they kick panama out of panama and make a canal connecting the two oceans britain just found oil in the middle east it makes cars go china is so tired of being bossed around that they delete their old government and make a new stronger government which is accidentally weaker and controlled by a guy from the previous government europe hasn't had a war since the last war so they start world war one look at those guns it's gonna be a great war so great we won't need a second one after it's over they blame germany russia went on strike and the workers overthrew the government now everyone's paycheck is the same communism the arabs revolt and britain helps now the ottoman empire's gone so we can give the jewish people a place to live hopefully the arabs won't mind let's cut the cakes said sykes carving up the remains of the not so ottoman any more empire except turkey turkey makes a brand new turkey and then the saudis conquer arabia it just seemed like the right thing to do hello yes it's the 1920s calling let's get in the car and drive to a party and listen to jazz on the radio and go to the movies the economy's great and it'll probably be great forever just kidding germany's back featuring hitler the angry mustache model and he's mad at the jews for existing japan is finally conquering the east and they're so excited they raped nanking way too hard they should probably just deny it hitler's out of control so the international community tackles him and tries to explain why killing all the jews is a bad idea but he kills himself before they could explain it to him that's world war two bonus round pacific showdown united states versus japan fight finish it let's unite all the nations and have some world peace seems legit hi i'm gandhi and if britain doesn't get the hell out of india i'm going to starve myself in public wow that worked bonus now there's pakistan actually two pakistans one of them could be bangladesh later the jews and the arabs finally figured out which one of them should live in the holy land me they both said at the same time let's divide up the land so everyone's happy look out china there's a new china in china what's on the menu communism no thanks said the other china escaping to an island i wonder which one is the real china there's the korean war korea versus korea nobody wins then it's on pause forever let's meet the sponsors oh it's the two global superpowers they're having a friendly debate over which economic system is good and which one is an evil virus of satan and they both have atom bombs fight wait no that would be the end of the world let's just keep it cool and spy on each other instead and make sure we have enough atom bombs i'll race you to space now let's make some more countries fight themselves europe is tired of pillaging other continents and the continents they were pillaging are tired of being pillaged so here's a new map with new countries now you can't tell who they're being pillaged by the united states finally decided whether racism is good or bad they decided it's bad and the world agrees south africa might need another minute to think about it let's check the world population whoa okay technology's better too that might keep happening the soviet union decides to relax a little and accidentally falls apart europe makes a union so now they can all use the same money except britain because they don't feel like it let's check the mail surprise it's on the computer whoops someone just attacked america i bet they'll remember that phone call surprise it's in your pocket want to learn everything surprise it's on the computer now your phone's a computer which is in your pocket whoops the economy just crashed don't worry the big banks won't fail because they're not supposed to surprise flying robots with bombs want to print a brain some people have no friends some people have no food the globe is warming let's save the planet said everybody not knowing how let's invent a thing inventor said the thing inventor inventor after being invented by a thing inventor that's pretty cool by the way where the hell are we [Music] oh my goodness dimension i'm absolutely baffled after that i think it's one of the best videos i've ever watched that was great it really is so well thought about how well made produced the music's amazing so funny you know really quirky wasn't it uh that said the music and everything just goes really well actually i need a break there's a lot of information on it i was good in school actually no i didn't behave well but i was in all the top sets i hide my intelligence you do a good job mate yep i do uh i really enjoy i love creative stuff that's original and that's just yeah it's just hard to know what else to say i'm sure everyone watching it gets how unbelievable it is i think that's the way they should teach kids yeah i've got to be well engaged you've seen something like that the only thing that oversimplified has got that this hasn't which is a way to teach kids is farts you know every single fight someone keeps going like that maybe a fart when every kid starts switching off even me if i start switching off and that happens i'm like [Laughter] it keeps going yeah yeah of course it does yeah [Laughter] yeah you guys like that too don't forget like and subscribe and i apologize for the length of the video but i hope you stayed with us to the end and if you did you win a bonus point yep well done you get to buy some merch by clicking the link in the description um we'll catch you guys on the next one cheers [Music] you

Channel: Office Blokes React

Views: 351,780

Rating: 4.9412112 out of 5

Keywords: react, reaction, reaction channel, british, british reaction, office, blokes, english reaction, english, banter, atlantic podcast studios, funny reaction, funny, laugh, brits react to, dads react to, office bloke dave, office bloke daz, office bloke mike, british reaction channel, english reaction channel, office blokes try, the history of the entire world reaction, history of the world reaction, amazing reaction, history reaction, bill wurtz, bill wurtz reaction, earth, nature

Id: 0mh7OvYs8B8

Length: 27min 2sec (1622 seconds)

Published: Sun Jan 24 2021