The Flash: Absolute Worst of the Worst

that moves directly into the flash a fantastic movie that I really love that resets the entire DC Universe I am just ecstatic to say that this is a really good movie I mean it might even be pretty great it's actually one of my favorite DC movies in a very long time the flash is a good movie and not just a good movie but maybe actually kind of a great movie isn't just a cameo no no he was a major player in this movie and it's like my childhood was pouring out of my it was oozing at my pores into my popcorn it was like a weird different form of mutated butter that I just enjoyed eating every two seconds I don't see the hate that it's getting I don't get it I'm looking for a fun big ass comic book movie this absolutely delivers it is a just a solid wonderful comic book movie The Flash did not disappoint oh oh [Music] with the death of the DC EU which should come as a surprise to absolutely no one that the flash ended up being yet another CGI piss stained Abomination that only manages to repeatedly shoot itself in the foot and further damage the Cinematic Universe it exists in all while resorting to desperate key jangling and Nostalgia bait to make up for the fact that this movie has been in production hell since 2014. I almost feel kind of bad for Andy machete I mean how does someone Salvage a project that's had a revolving door of directors and heavily depends on the writers behind the massive hit successes that were the birds of prey and Obi-Wan Kenobi I took your ring my ring [Music] [Music] yeah not exactly a great situation to be in to say the least though he has also gone on a massive cope spiral about how the CG was supposed to look like [ __ ] so make of that what you will regardless what was supposed to be a triumphant release of a long-awaited dceu film has instead been met by audiences with a reluctant and disappointing sigh because frankly Ben Affleck's and Michael Keaton's Batman can only do so much of the heavy lifting despite how massive of a selling point that was just to get the underwhelming amount of people it got in the theaters anyways and it is a bit problematic when the best aspects of a Flash Film have nothing to do with the flash an analogy gets used at one point in the movie to compare time travel with a bowl of spaghetti but that's really more indicative of just how horribly the film fails on a World building and character level Barry often times gets handcuffed to a lot of thematic messaging and jokes that tend to fall rather flat on their face and the first major example of this actually pops up towards the very beginning of the film so while waiting in line for a sandwich on his way to work he gets a call from Alfred he informs Barry that some of Falcone's men have broken into Gotham General and made off with a highly deadly virus forcing Batman to have to chase down the thugs while flash takes care of nearby Millions basically setting up the joke that Barry is one of the Lesser Justice League members how many first thoughts exactly did you have before you first thought of me never about her you can handle the hospital Barry somebody has to save the rest of the world so I was going to do that if you don't mind sounds about right Bruce except there's one colossally huge problem with that we're dealing with the person who can Sprint across the entirety of North America in a matter of seconds outside of Superman flashes arguably the most powerful member of the Justice League given while he can pull off with his super speed and that skill set would kind of make him the perfect person to call up to handle this situation he could have dealt with the robbers and all of the civilians well before Bruce could even finish putting on his suit just to further drive this home Alfred has direct communication with someone who is not only capable of stopping criminals but can mitigate catastrophic collateral damage in the blink of an eye and yet Barry isn't one of his first options classic what about Diana by all of us thought rather annoying that she's not picking up how many first thoughts exactly did you have before you first thought of me never about fan [ __ ] tastic the writers won a quibby banter between characters with an established chemistry but in execution it comes across as a piss-poor misunderstanding of how the Justice League operates and what their priorities should be we're left with a team far more dysfunctional than they were during the events of the Snyder cut which is only made worse with a particular throwaway line for Barry friends I've come to accept that I'm essentially the janitor of the Justice League which sucks but I've come to accept it but I can't help but notice that it always seems to be a bad mess that I'm cleaning up dumb [ __ ] a bad mess what the hell are you smoking how is Falcone's men blowing the hole through Gotham General somehow Bruce's fault those charges would have gone off regardless of whether or not he decided to get involved I failed to see how laying all this at Bruce's feet accomplishes anything other than potentially compromising your place within the Justice League and highlighting just how much of an immense douchebag you are but Alfred completely ignores Barry's ridiculous ass comment and informs him that according to his calculations the East wing of the hospital is about to collapse flash takes a brief look at the outside of the hospital and then immediately assumes an Alfred is wrong why I have absolutely no idea especially considering that Alfred is up Bruce fight crime in Gotham for decades has access to a lot of information that Barry doesn't and develops tech for the Justice League but he's running low on calories so rather than finding food nearby and checking out the swing just to be safe he chooses to stand in front of the hospital and do nothing until a bunch of babies start Falling Towards their death [Music] foreign [Music] you've made me very proud and a lot of mothers very happy I'm confused to put it mildly how this is supposed to be some massive win there are people who most likely ended up getting seriously hurt or straight up died from all the falling debris of the collapsing building simply because Barry wasn't willing to take what Alfred had to say seriously and rather than taking the time to have this be a moment for the flash to reflect on this situation and further grow as a character it Shrugged off for a laugh because Ezra Miller tossed a baby into a microwave that by all accounts should have been cooked alive since the damn thing was engulfed in flames but hey all this is Batman's mess right wrong sir wrong so after the swift kick in the balls that was that scene we then jump over to the Batman running the robber's Humvee off the bridge and just as Bruce and the last remaining henchmen with the virus are dangling above the water it's revealed that if the suitcase ends up in the harbor the virus could wipe out all of Gotham by lunchtime which prompts Wonder Woman to swoop in to save the day with her lasso of Truth and you are welcome my ego's far too big to say thank you to someone else developed this this is [ __ ] this is [ __ ] this is [ __ ] out of every single member in the Justice League Bruce has arguably sacrificed and lost the most to not only form the Justice League but to help make Gotham his home a safer place at the cost of romantic relationships and the cost of his family Legacy at the cost of his own physical well-being and all of this to the dismay of those still closest to him even you've got too old to Die Young not for lack of train the idea that Bruce's actions as bad men are purely ego driven is embarrassingly out of touch and only further highlights how inept these writers are at portraying basic elements of his character and poverty I know sex exists I've just never experienced it you know I'm glad really truly honestly that throughout the literal decade of the dcu's existence the only thing it's managed to accomplish with the flash is turn him into a socially awkward doorknob licking incel who steals clothes from the elderly and is incredibly selective when it comes to caring about helping people but I'm so happy you find this all so hilarious but we are dealing with real people's lives people's families and I don't think you can grasp the gravity of that thanks for saving me from the sinkhole Flash later on in the film though as Barry is getting off work he bumps into a reporter who just so conveniently happens to be his crushed from college Iris West yeah your father's appeal is tomorrow right sorry how do you know about that I'm covering it for the paper well my only official comment is that my dad is innocent right I mean no one would want to believe that their father killed their mother what do you mean believe my dad shouldn't be in jail my mom should be alive it's not about what I believe it's about what the truth is right no yes that's oh my God that's what I meant what the [ __ ] okay how could that be taken in any other way than implying that he's in denial about his dad being a psycho murderer because considering you have all the subtlety and intelligence of a sledgehammer I have a hard time believing that's not what you meant and the fact that she's considered to be Flash's love interest is a tad weird when most of her presence in this film is dedicated to sleazily trying to bait Barry into giving a statement that she can just sell for clickbait even when they have their conversation later on it's pretty clear that was her original intention look I feel really bad about earlier [Music] I should have been more sensitive moving on though Barry decides to steer clear of that vulture for the time being and give his dad a call apparently the new video evidence though supposed to prove his father's Alibi is inconclusive enough and that they'll have to focus on the next appeal I'm okay really you know sometimes I even think it's probably easier for me to be in here there without her come on out there living her life that is without a doubt the dumbest thing I've ever heard you are a [ __ ] idiot what the hell does that even mean wouldn't being in prison remind you more of the fact that your wife is dead that the person who murdered her is walking freely and you're not along with the fact that you'll never be involved in your son's life because you were accused of a crime that you didn't commit God why are you so complacent with all of this this dialogue is miraculously somehow worse than their scenes during the Snyder cut talk to my father who's still in prison for the murder of my mother which he didn't commit how did I get interested in criminal justice I can't remember oh boy but while Barry is still on the call he decides to visit his childhood home where we're presented with a flashback how many calculations can you think I'll answer 24 there are a bajillion answers how am I supposed to fit them all not every problem has a solution sometimes you just have to let go cringe there's no other word for it this makes me cringe it's embarrassing that theme might work for very narrow specific situations but it is pretty useless when dealing with a math problem which clearly has multiple solutions to it you're not actually instilling him with valuable life lessons you're just putting him on the fast track to fail math but Barry gets depressed for remembering just how much of an idiot his mom was and decides to Sprint across the entire country until he ends up going faster in the speed of light and travels back in time still would be wildly irresponsible I knew you're going to say this yes because very you were to go into the past any interaction you have with your parents or yourself you step on the wrong blade of grass you have no idea what the consequences to that can be no I know the butterfly effect right yes I get it the Bruce I could fix things you could also destroy everything not exactly sure why Barry needs to be told all this when it was established in the Snyder cut that he only uses time travel under extreme circumstances presumably for the very reasons Bruce just laid out I don't like to break this rule but when I approach the speed of light I look crazy things happen to time but if I do it I create massive electrical power just gotta go faster than the speed of light far beyond the speed of light gotta break the rulebury and you've got to do it now the writers have artificially regressed Barry's control and general understanding of his abilities either due to a lack of knowledge with what previously existed in continuity or because the writers didn't trust the audience to remember that time travel is something Barry is capable of but still the film isn't quite done tripping over itself just yet save your parents are there any scars we have make us who we are where I'm meant to go back and fix them take it from an old guy who's made a lot of mistakes live your life don't let your tragedy to find you that's all welding good I guess but if scars are ultimately the thing that make people who they are then people would inherently have to be defined by their tragedy I think a lot of people in the past and even still wrongly today attribute the clunky thematic messaging slapped onto Batman across the dceu films with Ben Affleck's ability to portray the character but really it's outright impossible to salvage what he's been given when the material majority of the time tends to be complete radioactive piss and sadly it is only fitting that a scene so incredibly awkward and disjointed would Mark the end of his run with the DC EU because for some insane reason Bruce decides to drive off with zero concern that Barry will most likely use time travel to change the past keep in mind that this is the very same Batman who was willing to kill off Superman because of a one percent chance that he might be evil but yet he has absolutely no contingency plan for the person who is capable of altering the very fabric of reality not a great plan so shortly thereafter Iris turns up from out of nowhere and insists on talking with Barry which I guess he doesn't find it weird that she's somehow tracked down where he lives I mean I know she's a journalist and everything but seriously that's some stalker levels of creepy but during their conversation Barry comes to another realization is that why you gotten a criminal forensics to try and fix the system yeah he had to fix it of them knowing that I'd worn them yeah we already covered that like five minutes ago I'm a little confused as to why this is randomly a brand new thing to you I'm almost starting to get the vibe that this scene was shot way before the Batman scene and no one decided to fix the stirring post but I'm sure that isn't going to be a recurring Trend throughout the entire film though also as a random side note I love how the flash never at any point in the entire movie ever considers using time travel to discover who actually murdered his mom that would be astronomically useful information that he could use in the present to free his dad from prison or at the very least directly prevent the killer from stabbing her but nah he's gonna move a can of tomatoes instead because Barry is super smart some might even say hey you're brilliant man absolute best of the best see now that's some [ __ ] anyways on his way back after having just changed the past even though I have zero clue how adding a second can of tomatoes would inherently prevent his mom from getting shanked Barry encounters another Speedster in the timeline DVD menu and gets punched into what he believes to be the present well okay let me rephrase that he just awkwardly stands there and watches this Rando run up and punch him in fact he seems rather indifferent about there being another meta human who is also capable of altering the very fabric of reality you'd think the potential of the very timeline he's just created getting erased at any moment would warrant more of a reaction out of him than a brain dead thousand yard stare but naturally stealing from the elderly takes priority over major plot events with massive implications however everything seems relatively stable for the most part until he ends up running into the past version of himself and I must say one of my biggest regrets in life is having watched two Ezra Millers on screen while sober because I didn't think it was physically possible to make an even more insufferable version of The Flash but well here we are and promise me that meeting me isn't gonna screw up space-time broski I got you [ __ ] I'm in so much trouble what do you mean I could drug you yeah I could drug you and then you pass out and wake up and you'd forget that anything ever happened and it wouldn't be wrong right because you're me no just go back in time before any of this happened you [ __ ] I'm almost amazed you somehow forgot that you can run faster than the speed of light all while worrying about this whole conversation potentially damaging space-time simultaneously plus there's the even greater issue here that Barry won is actually an anomaly from a now deleted timeline because there are memories and events from this timeline that he never experienced that Barry 2 did you know the date it's September 29th the day what day the day I got my Powers the day you get her powers in my version of reality I ended up interning at the Central City crime lab in my freshman year that's where it happened well happens tonight September 29th the accident that gives me my powers and if you're not there it 30 minutes then you won't get the powers which means I don't get the powers maybe and then that would mean that I lose my way of getting back in time in the first place and then I literally have no idea what happens Powers I have no idea how the hell he even remotely comes to this conclusion if he did actually create a timeline where he never gets his powers then he straight up shouldn't even exist because all of this is still a part of Barry's past not his present again assuming that he's an extension of this version of Barry and I'm equally confused as to why Barry 2 is under the impression that he isn't going to gain these same Powers concerning Barry 1 straight up tells him that he's from the future but unfortunately the plot hinges on this incredibly loose Theory and so they set out to make sure that Barry 2 gets his powers right around now and I was sitting in that chair and I was right under this shelf of chemicals and that's when the lightning hits wait I get hit by lightning why would you wait until the last possible second to warn him about that at this rate you'd have been better off keeping him in the dark and having Barry to be annoyed with you after the fact any normal person is obviously not going to respond well to the prospect of being electrocuted you complete brainless however we need to hand fish drama into this film somehow which results with Barry 2 gaining super speed but at the cost of Barry one losing his [Music] thank you foreign [Applause] [Music] it's taking you this long to realize you don't have your abilities you clearly walked all the way over here at a normal Pace just to leave the building when it would have normally taken you a fraction of a second to do so with your super speed You could argue that Barry one didn't want a risk Barry 2 getting sick due to being moved at super speed but Barry 2 is now a meta human who should realistically be able to handle traveling at that speed plus the film is laughably inconsistent when it comes to that rule but either way with berry 2 being slightly out of it after having been struck by lightning even though that same blast should have absolutely killed Barry won because he wouldn't have had access to the speed force he's left to figure out how to break out of the building without getting spotted by security and as much as I've already torn into why the build up for this scene is incredibly narrow thin there's still the opportunity to salvage something here what would normally be a non-issue for Barry has become a much more challenging task but not an impossible one because after all Barry isn't purely defined by a super speed a lightning strike can't strip him of his resourcefulness and intellects and I think it would only further add to his character to see him deal with a stressful situation in an entirely different way that he's not accustomed to or well that is if we were actually given a flash with those qualities but sadly we weren't so in typical fashion the writers addressed that problem by not addressing it at all and immediately cut to Barry 1 arriving to number two's apartment Barry the accident gave you Powers but took mine away so I don't know how I get back I might be stuck wait I have powers now yes that was the whole goddamn point of breaking into the building in the first place it should be fairly obvious at this stage given that you survived the lightning blast that was supposed to give you super speed Jesus Christ was it with the both of them taking an attorney to recognize whenever they gain or lose their powers however things only go from bad to worse because what Barry 2 ends up doing next with the super speed made me want to burn my retinas out with bleach many times myself [Music] [Music] what in the absolute salmonella inducing Kentucky Fried [ __ ] Berry too people are most likely dead because of your insane recklessness firefighters will have to be called out to deal with the fires that you started entire city blocks are now without power and the fact that you don't seem to give a remote [ __ ] about this or that Barry one doesn't seem to give a remote [ __ ] about this is insanely antithetical to the flash as a character besides his speed probably his altruism and his um his moral compass his willingness to sacrifice and some of the like key details of a hero I think he embodies them you know really fully I can't help but notice but it always seems to be a bad mess that I'm cleaning up probably his altruism and his um his moral compass for saving me from the sinkhole Flash you can go anywhere from another timeline Another Universe why do you want to stay the fight to save this one because this is the world where my mom lives the next day though Barry one finally gets around to taking the time to teach Barry 2 how to control his powers with the hope that he'll be able to train him to use the speed force to deliver him back to the present but all of that eventually gets interrupted with General zod's invasion of Earth if I can find the entire Justice League Superman and the rest of the band then maybe I can prevent the whole thing from ever even happening at all why are you the way that you are the whole reason why you no longer have access to the speech force is because you chose to stick around and screw with time based on a ridiculously loose theory that Barry 2 might not get his powers for some reason what if trying to prematurely round up all the Justice League together in order to save those who died during zod's Invasion causes some even worse atrocity later on down the line we're to go into the past any interaction you have with your parents or yourself you step on the wrong blade of grass you have no idea what the consequences to that could be no I know the butterfly effect right yes I get it this movie has had to regress Barry in so many areas in order to have him make the same mistake over and over again just for certain jokes and scenes to exist I would somewhat expect this type of stupidity from a pre-justice league DC EU Flash not one who already has a fair amount of insight on how the speed force affects time and has established a general rule for himself not to break it unless under extreme Last Resort situations but after doing a quick Google search and giving Aquaman's data call Barry one makes a stunning Revelation I could completely broke the universe I created a world with no metahumans alright let's pause there for a second because I cannot get over just how much this takes what little continuity already existed in the dceu and shreds it into a thousand goddamn pieces so if Wonder Woman doesn't actually exist then did Aries Go full super War mode during World War One or did someone else stop him lundorf was also briefly a metahuman so shouldn't he have also not existed too and if there is no wonder woman then the Amazons and atlanteans also should exist because by extension they would fall under the same umbrella of being meta-humans which means that by all accounts Darkseid should have won his initial encounter with Earth listen I'll be honest with you I'm kind of [ __ ] I could really go on all day with this but the point I'm trying to make here is that this timeline is pretty much the same as Barry's previous one when it comes to certain events happening on specific dates but is also fundamentally different at the same time and per usual this movie doesn't have the time or the means to deal with the Unholy torn of [ __ ] it's Unleashed upon the dceu but after learning that Batman does actually exist in this timeline the berries decide to take a visit over to Wayne Manor in her Ambush by hobo Bruce [Music] so you're just going to stand there and watch Barry one get decked repeatedly when you could just use your super speed to slightly nudge him out of the way okay that's cool I guess also we really shouldn't gloss over that Bruce saw both berries at his door and his initial reaction was to Ambush them in his kitchen like a total Maniac this is seriously how you're going to introduce Michael Keaton's Batman in the dceu what a load of [ __ ] but hey don't worry I'm sure it can get worse right I traveled back in time from here to here yet somehow everything's all changed back here when you go back and change the past you create fulcrum you put yourself on a whole nother strand of spaghetti what you did was you changed the future you changed the past which you eventually end up with is this it's diverse I'm sorry that makes absolutely no sense so what are you talking about Sir so then why didn't the past dramatically change whenever Barry time traveled during the Snyder cut I mean did he actually change the events of his timeline in this film or did he just end up in an alternate universe has the Multiverse always existed or did Flash create it and why does Bruce seem so comfortable with the idea of his timeline being the byproduct of a different one let alone supposedly having a better understanding of time travel than someone who's actually done it we probably saw a movie that told you if you went back and changed the past you'd create a kind of a branched timeline well time doesn't work like that screw you film back to the Futures time for the rules made way more sense and whenever this Tangled spaghetti-ass drug-induced fever dream of the script is there's a guy called Superman who can stop sod yeah yeah you're probably the only person who can help me find him so will you help us [Music] pass Bruce this is one thousand percent not Keaton's Batman it's some weird Abomination from an alternate universe who despite having succeeded in making Gotham a safe place to live has to be convinced to help save the world from getting destroyed this isn't even a low bar that these writers are tripping over it's the ground level for any typical superhero it is a just a solid wonderful comic book movie The Flash did not disappoint however after screwing around in his Bat Cave for a while Bruce finally gives in and decides to help them because we desperately need to move the plot along Barry wake up quarks being held by a mercenary group in a Siberian black site so it's not clear as to which is actually the case but I'm going to go on a limb and assume that Bruce found all this information while Barry was sleeping because if he held onto Superman's location for all this time despite knowing that the entire world is an imminent danger then that would be a rather shitty thing of him to do though this does raise some questions as to how valid this lead is because Batman had virtually no information to work off of prior to doing his glorified Google search and there's also the slight issue that the person they're looking for isn't actually who they're looking for more on that in a moment but moving on though as the three of them are breaking into the Russian black side where Superman is being held Barry 2 ends up alerting all of the guards [Music] I had to move you but but I just did it a little pretty convenient that this was never a problem during the entire sequence dedicated to flash moving civilians at super speed or during the scenes where Barry won had to phase an unpowered Berry 2 through a wall or during any of the other scenes across the entire DC EU where Barry has had to move people at super speed called a nitpick all you like but it's still a pretty valid one since it's supposed to establish a rule about how super speed affects non-speed stars in this universe but anyways after having just taken out all the guards our chuckle [ __ ] gang eventually finds Superman's holding cell I tried all the combinations yeah I'm gonna have to call [ __ ] on that one because I'm 99 certain super speed can't make computers operate faster it should have taken him way longer to try every possible combination than the fraction of a second it took just to stumble into the correct code and I was also about to point out how wildly lucky they are that it didn't lock them out after a certain number of failed attempts because pretty much every login system has that but even that wouldn't have mattered because Barry 2 can just phase through the door grab Clark and leave speaking of which it turns out that the person they're trying to break out isn't Superman but super girl instead come out it's not him he's gotta go well yeah but I don't know maybe you can entertain the idea she might be innocent and needs help plus you went on a whole ramble about how time is just a tangled mess of spaghetti so there's the chance that this could be the person that you're looking for you know the person you need to help stop sod from terraforming your planet moving on though as the group is escaping they bump into a scientist with a solid side piece unfortunately Barry 2 decides to do something somewhat sensible for one since save the others from getting shot but at the expense of getting himself shot yeah that's right apparently these Rando guards disappear from out of nowhere and start popping off rounds because none of them were in the shop prior to Berry 2 zooming over to deal with the scientist guy which means either these guards also have super speed or this entire sequence as a result of some Jank ass editing you didn't tell me we could get shot why would you assume we couldn't right so Barry to assumed that he couldn't be shot based on absolutely nothing and Barry one never even bothers to explain or show him at any point how to heal his wounds with the speed force now that last bit tosses another wrench into things because Barry 2 recovering from that lightning strike seemed pretty automatic while in the Snyder cut Barry won healing from his wound required a lot of focus so is it an automatic thing or something that requires a great amount of effort I guess we'll never really know since this movie resets the DC Universe but I'm sure at the very least the writers definitely won't forget about speed force healing being a thing towards the end of the film however after Supergirl gives the beat down on some Russian soldiers the four of them get on the Batwing and fly back to Wayne Manor where we then get a heart to heart moment with Bruce and Barry one if I can recreate the accident that gave me my Powers maybe I can reconnect to the speed force and maybe we'd stand a chance against odd so then why the hell hasn't this been your first priority what even was the point in training up Barry 2 to bring you back to the present if you legitimately believe you can recreate the incident that gave you your powers especially if you're still under the impression that you created a world with no meta-humans major players no longer exist in this universe all because you moved a can of tomatoes the longer you stay here the more it should alter time but on the flip side of that if he dies in the process of trying to get his powers that could also scrub a time on a crazy level and it is pretty goddamn strange that none of this ever gets brought up during their conversation Ruth seems pretty unconvinced by the whole idea and naturally you'd think that would stem a whole different discussion about how Barry isn't defined by his powers that he can still make a difference by controlling what he can control and letting go of what he can't having him come to terms with that would be a much better means of actually developing this character than trying to force Hammer plot events into the script if you get your powers back you can go anywhere why do you want to stay and fight to save this one is this is the world where my mom lives or maybe because you want to help people and that thousands of Innocents will die if you don't you colossal [ __ ] buckets I really shouldn't be all that surprised at this point since we've already established that this Flash doesn't seem to remotely care about others but good God how tone deaf can these writers possibly get I guess the plan is to Gauss yourself in industrial chemicals while electrocuting yourself yep want some help oh that tone Duff excellent so the three of them decide to go through with the experiment despite Bruce making it quite clear that he thinks that all this is insane besides this time we have Batman what could go wrong uh for the record I think this is insane go again circus fried my disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined I never thought that I would exist in a timeline where Michael Keaton's Batman would not only nearly electrocute someone to death but decide to throw the switch again after recognizing that he has just nearly electrocuted someone to death and it's pretty damn lucky that almost Bruce's equipment got fried during the first attempt otherwise Barry most definitely would have died but Supergirl arrives and decides to help Barry get his powers back by flying up into the sky and having them both get struck by lightning because that's how all of this works now I guess I have no idea what I'm doing but I know I'm doing it really really well it's interesting to say the least that while having not been here for like 90 of the scene that her knee-jerk reaction to seeing these two nimrods giving him the electric chair treatment is to not say a single word and nearly get him killed again you'd think she'd be a tad curious about a good number of things after having been locked away underground for years on end let alone with how and why Barry one is trying to get his powers back it would have provided the perfect opportunity to narrow down some major question marks when it comes to how everything functions on a World building level and also further establish her place in the script than just some disposable plot device that awkwardly disrupts scenes for the sake of moving things along however now the berry one has the Zoomies again the four of them set off to fight zod's Army we're just gonna start with those guys over there and yeah they're Kryptonian and we won't be able to kill them but we can slow them down for her that was a [ __ ] lie all of this should be rather obvious to really anyone with half a brain cell but you can't tell the audience that something is impossible only the seconds later have Barry do the thing you've established isn't possible for him to do and if this is something that very one was always aware of before this fight then that kind of begs the question as to why they even need a Supergirl in the first place when both flashes can just pull the phase ability on all the kryptonians and win immediately all this basically puts our protax in the weird position of having to make wildly brain dead decisions in order to avoid the most blatantly obvious move that would guarantee their win because it would completely eviscerate any Stakes this battle had in the process and it kind of goes without saying that the rest of this battle doesn't really go so well going down I'm not going alone [Music] I'm still trying to process that we have basically spent this entire time Gathering up Supergirl and Michael Keaton's Batman in the hopes of saving thousands of Innocents and preventing the planet from getting terraformed only for one of them to get shanked and for the other to go up in Flames after pulling a reverse holdo maneuver and it is insane frankly that the writers are even trying to convince the audience to buy the idea that the kryptonians could fend off Supergirl two flashes and Batman when Superman was able to deal with all of them pretty much on his own in Man of Steel though very too understandably isn't super happy about how this ending turned out so the both of them decide to time travel back in order to prevent their deaths and with there being four flashes now dealing with the kratonian should be a walk in the park wait a minute there are four flashes now so does that mean that Barry 2 was now an anomaly from an alternate timeline shouldn't key details of this battle have changed due to the Spaghetti Theory and why are none of the new flashes interacting with our main ones how does any of this work well that's the thing it doesn't at all which is why the film randomly reverts back to having two flashes where they once again fail spectacularly at keeping Supergirl and Batman alive that gunship is Shield protected Roger that but he's that yes yes please take him out foreign congratulations there Berry boy you went to all the effort of saving Batman from killing himself like a [ __ ] goober only to just sit there and do nothing as he takes on a Kryptonian and a one-on-one fight when you could have pulled this [ __ ] on big chungus since saved his life rather easily good job but after killing another Kryptonian Barry 2 zooms off again to the timeline DVD menu can we please just take a minute we can take as much time as it takes that's that's not what I mean hey you remember those powers that you just got back that give you super speed maybe you should use those to stop Barry too if you're so concerned that he's potentially destroying reality I know not really acting on your interests or motivations has kind of become your thing now but even he at one point makes a jab about the fact that you're just standing there doing nothing Barry this is inevitable we can try a million times and we're not going to be able to fix this no matter what we do this world dies and I can save everyone nobody dies not every problem has a solution every problem has us sometimes we just have to let go I cannot believe that the glorified morons responsible for writing this slop unironically used flashbacks of the [ __ ] math scene and support for why Barry 2 should just let his world burn this is the worst you were the worst I hate looking at your face I want to smash it what an utter [ __ ] show and it's a tad hypocritical on very one's end to even suggest this when he quite literally used time travel to prevent his world from getting terraformed by the mother boxes I refuse to believe that very same flash after just one failed attempt at trying to go back to save Batman and Supergirl would just throw his hands up and say well we lost and condemned this entire timeline to death plus there's also a massive flaw in his plan to fix everything because going back in time to prevent his past self from moving the can of tomatoes that somehow magically prevents his mom from getting shanked should also create an entirely new timeline in the process just give me one more time [Music] that scarring you are yes I am you I have absolutely no idea what's going on you remember the time when every movie in existence didn't cram Multiverse or time travel into their scripts man those were the golden days huh also we very much reached the point in the film where it sort of shrugs its shoulders at you and just has things happen on screen because we then get a disgustingly cheap Cameo Montage shoved in our faces and this is really the prime example of why the value of Cameo appearances and Easter eggs and films have been driven down into the dirt they're no longer these special events used to convey powerful moments in a story they're often exploited as cheap gimmicks so that dead actors faces can be frankensteined on screen to be used indefinitely for surface level appeal and really nothing about this Montage will remain relevant in the cultural Zeitgeist if anything it'll be mocked for how horrible the CG looks and then buried into absolute obscurity because that's all the scene was designed to be to be quickly consumed and thrown away much like everything else about this movie I pushed you out of the chronobo On That September 29th you could start me on this pass you create me well that would kind of be impossible since you would have needed the experiences and memories of a flash from an entirely different timeline in order to pull that off not to mention that punching him out of the DVD menu should have created an entirely new timeline as a result so really Berry too shouldn't be the past version of old man Barry he should be his own separate Berry but [ __ ] it's spaghetti am I right you're the inevitable intersection and you do have to let go this is [ __ ] this is [ __ ] this is [ __ ] I find it infinitely hilarious that the reason Barry 2 gets shanked by old man Barry is all because Berry won is too much of an idiot to consider moving out of the way of getting stabbed and Barry 2 is too much of an idiot to do anything other than getting himself stabbed and then to really top everything off Barry 2 speed force healing which the movie establishes so strong that it can automatically heal him up at rapid speeds after getting hit by lightning still can't protect him from old man Barry's dirty Kryptonian love needle foreign Peak levels of cinema right there the DCU is in truly capable hands but anyways after that complete lobotomy of a scene very one that goes back in time to make sure that his mom gets murdered your mom must be grateful you came to visit her she's very lucky to have you I'm very lucky to have her ah you have to tell her that moms like to hear these kind of things I would probably appreciate this exchange way more if I didn't despise every other aspect of this movie and wished for it to die in a fiery hell pit there's definitely a payoff that could have worked here but all this just Falls rather flat with it being handcuffed to such a disfigured abomination of a plot however after having moved the can of tomatoes again he then travels back to the present and scrambles to make his dad's court appearance the same security camera footage exhibit F in the original trial was initially considered useless but has now been enhanced it confirms The Alibi Mr Allen has argued and his son Barry thank you here well that's quite the plot twist especially since Barry said earlier in the movie that the video evidence wasn't conclusive enough to prove his alibi and it's Crystal Clear now it's just you never look up Dad I started thinking about the people was Bruce able to further doctor the footage did their lawyers come up with new video evidence entirely well it turns out the tomatoes moved from the bottom shelf to the top shelf and subsequently uncooked the spaghetti oh yes he forced Barry 2 to accept that his world and everyone he loves should be condemned to death also that he could go back and fix the mistake he made of not being able to let go of his mother's death just to immediately turn around and make that same mistake he spent this whole goddamn movie trying to fix again he's learned nothing from this entire experience if anything he's regressed in every facet of being a superhero so much to the point where I would be hard-pressed to even consider the DC eu's version of The Flash as a hero because all of the pain suffering and death he's inflicted across the entire Multiverse is a direct result of his incredibly selfish and idiotic decisions this film is an Unholy affront God that needs to be buried deep and never see the light of day again [Music] I am the flash I am I Am The Flash The Flash The Flash

Channel: MediaMana

Views: 332,757

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Id: CisnKcOlNi4

Length: 47min 28sec (2848 seconds)

Published: Thu Aug 03 2023