The Definitive Skyrim Jails Tier List

hello good afternoon how are you vow Channel viewers I've missed you although I think this is going to be the third VOD upload with you know two days or a day off in between each one which is usually the Cadence I ideally like to go for but I think this is going to be the last day of doing User submitted or at least this round of User submitted quests should be fun we'll see there is one thing I probably should have prepared though before the stream damn and it just hit me now I should have made it we're gonna need a tier list how was everybody good afternoon good to see you I I cut my finger on the back of my green screen today I'm injured I'm dealing with a Nerf thank you kind sir howdy pepeda thank you very much for the tier one we are yeah we'll be we'll be tier listing the Skyrim jails today as a part of this Quest but I'll give it a little bit and then we'll go through the background of this Quest just a little bit Cyclops is your first time watching a stream well this is my first time saying hello to you in a stream ain't it funny how that all worked you had to stop sharpening your sword for this no go back to sharpening your sword finish sharpening the sword okay if you want to be big and strong when you grow up you need to finish sharpening the sword do your chores thank you sir questions then uh yes Emma yes that's the plan Emily it's always the plan because I'm a degenerate addict yesterday's stream was a lot of fun we kept it fairly short but I did have a ton of fun with it very much enjoyed it you just watched Fellowship of the Ring for the first time I know that my grandfather um fell asleep when he went to go see that movie with my brother and a few other cousins way back in the day been watching the VOD channel for months finally caught a stream Kimmy thank you very much for watching party face woo I made a stream I'm a huge VOD watcher look at all look at the VOD Channel viewers you know eventually you will all be on the VOD Channel how cool is that wow also today this is a big day this is a special stream it's been a while since I've had these on stream but I am wearing how do I thank you do this I don't think I can stand in my chair I don't know if you can hear them I got I am gonna stand on my chair [ __ ] it I got my magic pants today I have my magic Enchanted a pants on today I haven't warned that I have not worn the enchanted pants in a while but I saw them God these are so comfortable I gotta watch I gotta wear these more they kind of look a little like like you could almost get away wearing these pants with a sport coat so I don't know if they're like my favorite pants to wear all the time but man these are they're just like I don't know what it is it's like they're painted on but I have room anyway let's get into today's Quest first quest of the day I barely touched on it at the end of yesterday's stream but let's just do let's just do some recapping some background all right so this was written by Chand great again thank you to everybody who did suggest ideas on that Community post blown away at all the responses you guys absolutely killed it so thank you all so the original prompt the Thieves Guild wants someone to write a book of nothing but reviews for Skyrim's jails to know which is the best to stay in if you get caught your quest is to get thrown in every jail break out and collect at least three souvenirs of each to prove you've really learned to appreciate the atmosphere and if your souvenirs get taken for evidence reclaim them so you have all of them before you start writing your magnum opus however you also have to write the book which will require a quill Inkwell and paper ulfur's book from right White River White River Watch that's kind of tough to say say that five times fast seems like the best paper for the job so I had to I guess collect some objectives or come up with some objectives that make this a doable quest in game so the objectives are to obtain offer's blank book a quill and an Inkwell that shouldn't be too hard I feel like we'll find those fairly quickly and then our next objective is to get thrown into every single jail in Skyrim again we'll be getting thrown into jail for crimes not connected to all of the parents that we murdered of the children because we did not get caught for that because we're a smart Criminal every time we get captured and we go to jail we have to obtain three souvenirs as proof of our visit we should take notes on each jail as we go through them and then at the end of going to every single jail so happy I was able to catch another stream party face doesn't happen often years to four months party face party face you party face you interrupted me with the party face I appreciate it thank you very much who was that Rain Bird thank you for four months and then at the end of The Experience after we go to every single jail we will tearless them based on the experience that we had at the jail and then our tier list will count as us writing our book I guess that's what we'll go with narwhal don't let you down oh don't worry I'll try and let you down narwhal did I miss I didn't miss any alerts oh Koopaling I did miss yours thank you very much and congratulations on your stream baby thank you kind sir hail said this as well thank you for the tier one I believe I missed that one as well sorry about that and no ducks are here thank you very much for nine months another twitch baby will this still be Ty Pennington yes this all follows the ridiculous storyline of Ty Pennington I don't know if this is like a an anthology of Ty Pennington's life or if it's a I'm kind of in the way all right anyway here are all the prisons Dawnstar Falkreath Markarth marthal Rift in solitude Whiterun Windhelm Winterhold Raven Rock those are all the prisons I think there's ten one two three four five six seven eight nine ten we gotta go to jail ten times all right first thing we have to do though is obtain a quill and pen by going to offer children you're on your own your father is going on an important Quest and uh canoeed you're in charge I don't know why I'm leaving him in charge he just seems like he might know what's going on also giant centipede thing that spits goo you're in charge of babysitting you're like the second layer of babysit canoed is babysitting breath but then the giant magical centipede is babysitting both of them am I ever going to do a market yes I'm we're going to eventually do a Markarth region lock when I don't know someday eventually at some point I don't really need to go to Morthal do I I can actually fast travel on this character so not used to having this ability but I think the book we want to get from over is over here right isn't he the blind guy he's sitting at a desk we just have to go right across the little canyon here yeah it's west of Whiterun east of White Run no way no sorry I'm ego checking you right now chat it's West 100 percent the guy who's sitting there in the desk with the book that's blank it's west of White Run at the mountain I think you guys are just wrong no I'm I'm challenging you right now that you had 1v1 me if I'm wrong so be it but I'm sticking to it there's no way it's East it's right here it's gonna be one of these caves right up here hold on one sec the stream did drop frames should be okay looks like it's not dropping too many frames we outnumber you we will reinstate hacker as super no no no thank you there's no way it's East my brain just doesn't accept that information you guys are putting me through severe cognitive dissonance also Andy thank you very much for the prime Nerfs thank you so much for the tier one even though you're wrong and I will I'm going to prove it who are you farmer farmer I gotta go to jail right I have to commit crimes if our goal is to go to jail we should commit crimes along the way East I think you're I think Chad is lying to me I think Chad is purposefully trying to get me to go the wrong direction so that I do go east and then I get frustrated Retreat okay it's it's a different name but I'm just gonna check the front door okay it's not this one but there's gonna be another one nearby definitely not that one it's East now see that's valheim Towers fun fact those Towers were named after the Fun open world Viking survival crafting Sim valheim right across from honningbrew metering I just I don't believe you I'm sorry but I am supremely confident that the cave that I'm looking for is going to be somewhere over here or somewhere down here actually I'm thinking it might be South I think that might be this way I'm getting old I have memory loss maybe maybe I am but I'm checking yeah yeah just let me cook I know what I'm doing here I mean it's possible I'm going the wrong way but I believe that I'm not oh no bolts equipped that's good oh and I only have a wood Cutter's ax okay that's bad we have Highborn oh my God my abilities suck my hands glitched I keep forgetting we're playing on very easy we're not we're not playing on too difficult uh a setting although none of these challenges are really combat like they don't really revolve around the combat of the game so I guess it doesn't matter too much can you play Skyrim while not knowing where you're going that's just playing Skyrim normally here White River Watch might be somewhere else but ulfur the guy who has the empty book is not wet or is not east of Whiterun I will be so unbelievably shocked if that's true but when I round this corner and the entrance to a cave appears and there's one Bandit standing out front possibly two named carrying a book with reference to the blind guy sitting within the cave just past the entrance you're all gonna be like wow maybe we should have listened to him not perfect and doesn't understand absolutely everything about these games but every now and then wow he might know what's going on and then you'll be shocked and it'll be to the greatest upset you've ever seen okay it's not this far though it's not this one but I'm gonna Discover it just to say I did yeah this is uh not pale pass um oh what's the name what's the name it goes through the mountain North brittle Shin I knew that oh why are these idiots attacking me get away from me oh no I've been jumped by creation Club content Evacuate the area the weapons are kind of cool I might take that little Club I gave my son my glass dagger so he can defend the house oh Golden Hands I guess I'll just eat the strange food okay I want to give myself Golden Hands just because it'll look cool it does in fact look really cool and even cooler when I execute them you guys are gonna be you guys are gonna feel so dumb when I'm right found it found it count your blessings chat because after I'm correct and we find the book we're looking for in here you will feel awfully silly perhaps you should have came to this battle prepared oh what am I kidding of course you didn't you were never prepared to face me in a battle of knowledge okay this is broken fan cave not exactly the one I was looking for doesn't count you forget I'm in charge here so I get as many tries as I want 100 gifted if right okay well now now I'm determined this is gonna happen like I'm I'm just casually playing Skyrim normally on the way there because I'm that confident I think this one might be it I don't want to get too confident though because broken Fan Cave that was a little bit of a setback oh oh there's a there's someone out front swindler's Den it might not be White River Watch but when I go in here [ __ ] is this the one that's the right one I'm not sure if this is the right one anymore [ __ ] okay this is also the wrong one don't worry this is just character development for Ty Pennington this is in fact not the one that doesn't count it's literally east of hunting Brew it's literally west of Whiterun and I will comb up and down this entire [ __ ] province just to find the guy with the book blank book oh [ __ ] I think I came too far there's no way it's east of Whiterun it's really not radaron's retreat it's not yeah because I've been in this cave a bunch of times not silent moons not Bleak when basin that dustman's Karen the cottage swindler's Den broken Fang we already checked that one no oh my God oh my God it is that one why was I I could have sworn this cave has always been where rhetoron's retreat was every time every single time unless the world randomizer has completely destroyed my brain and how I think about this game and how I just remember things all right chat I owe you all an apology I owe you in chat and those on the VOD Channel currently cringing and my refusal to listen to anybody in chat I apologize this has been the biggest setback to my career just me as a person I I'm gonna you know probably take some time to disconnect from the internet and and all of that nonsense and really figure myself out and and improve and take some time to listen and and hear what others are saying because the impact that my choices have on the shut up [ __ ] off Chad you think I know all right yeah you were right about one thing okay okay oh you won one bet don't get too goddamn don't you don't no no no no no don't get all excited sitting there pog champing and whatever you do hey all right I need to take out my anger of that lawsuit I need your brother stop it I need your brother's book hmm close shave this interaction was sponsored by manscaped Ren Drake Thank you so much for the tier one yeah if it makes you all feel any better at least I'm going to jail after this mission ah I can't believe I was wrong though [Music] [Music] thank you very much you are incredibly kind graceful and I am grateful thank you for five tier ones Danielson I'm funny oh my God I can't believe it's this [ __ ] cave sorry who's that Rudolph that you no it said Ty Pennington host of Extreme Makeover home Edition actually you kind of fit the bill for somebody that we would build a house for eign okay bring the camera crew in everybody zoom in on his face zoom zoom enhance perfect I'm gonna take this book so I can write my Memoir with it is it worse if he lives and we leave him or if we kill I guess if I leave his friends in the cave alive then it's all good well we're taking his book we're taking the only enjoyment he has in life away from him even over could have probably found this cave first try hmm bam you need me to mention in the video of these challenges that you were wrong and we were right haven't you guys noticed by now that I edit my videos in a way to where I'm never wrong I take Knowledge from chat I take credit for it and I [Laughter] actually no I usually I Maybe we have we have a good relationship okay it's a give and take it's a give and take relationship chat like how I stole your jokes I haven't even stolen that many jokes from chat I have before stoked the fire take a seat and get the cold out if it's work you need but Chad's funny let's say that appetite him yeah she's gonna sell a Inkwell and Pen absolutely what we need we need to get it from Bella Thor probably you edit your videos I do I edit them and I write them everything every trinkets odds and ends that sort of thing ink well who doesn't sell an Inkwell come back okay I guess I have to find one perhaps someone in Dragon's reach they seem like an Inkwell and quill type of people crazy gajit lady thank you very much for two tier one gifted Subs I appreciate you I wish my videos appeared on my doorstep fully edited that would be great then I'd be able to dedicate all my time to my second job Deep Rock galactic okay there's got to be something down here the yarls quarters maybe in here Sven or feign doll who's better uh I've been warming up to Sven all because as soon as I get into Riverwood that douchebag FanDuel did I hear you talking to Sven believe me you literally don't want to be talking to him um were you just having a conversation with Sven everybody knows he's a douchebag I mean you hear what he said about the yarrow I mean behind his back and the audacity of him I mean it literally I just don't understand why Sven has to be like this like that's the first thing fandall hits you with when you get into town so annoying like yeah maybe of the two he might be in the right a little bit more than Sven but his methods just frustrating like why do you have to go Mean Girls no oh my God am I really hey hey Skyrim and her people say you in your okay well you mean you can tell you're you're a fellow officer to have a little bit of restraint I don't necessarily have the items that I need to write my book but I guess we can start here take me to jail but Sven is a jerk okay yeah he's a jerk so is feindoll yeah like vanedal is totally happy to just lie to Camilla's face too all right let's take uh let's take a back seat and kind of just look at our amenities here cot bed that's not bad it does come with a little bit of a down comforter I think that's pure wolf skin it looks like snow wolf so a little bit better than just regular wolf skin uh there's a dead body in here with a knife I'm not sure if that was owned by the Bandit or not but I was sitting here with clothes why is he naked something must have transpired where a second person was in the cell they stripped the Bandit naked and then they left him there unless the Bandit took all of his clothes off and then slid them through the loose grate so what I will say about this jail is that a very big positive in terms of the White Run jail it has a really easy Escape Route I mean it's built in why would they build this in here this is just really bad prison design a really stupid design for this prison but it shouldn't be too hard I mean at least it gives us a way to get out of here right see out I mean Lighting in the hallways is decent but this place is manned like crazy there's a lot of guards in here almost an impossible straight Escape Route if you go right through but the built-in convenience exit for thieves I think is a great addition I think that really elevates it and brings it up because when you're escaping prison you know you're going through oh I get okay I guess two okay two for one we both can escape when you're going through the grimy undercroft of a jail after you've escaped you know grabbing torch sconces I think that that's a plus it also even gives you a few items that are useful right away I've really got no problems with Whiterun jail so far so let me actually real quick let me bring up our handy dandy PowerPoint slides because on here I can take notes where's White Run white runs right here okay so next to White Run I will say uh convenient Escape good lighting questionable ethics convenient Escape good lighting questionable ethics I think that summarizes a little bit of what we get from the White Run jail Skyrim jail tier list when after we go to jail in every single one oh yeah that's right how do you go to the bathroom in these jails this one the answer is already clear I'm in a really nice Escape Route really feels like I'm in the under Croft and the grime as I escaped from jail and expert lock is thrown in our way that's challenging especially on one lock pick but at least they leave us some cabbage it's crucial to get your Escape lettuce before leaving jail oh that's right I have to grab some souvenirs what souvenirs can I grab that are a basket right I have the Torches I'll grab a basket can I take any oh I should have grabbed that fork can I still grab it can I like jump and have the gate oh oh my God you can you can even return back to yourself you could go back in all right we're taking the knife here that's our first one that's so fun okay this jail even comes with a mini game it's called the uppies you gotta time it just right and then you can get your uppies boom nice and easy no one saw a thing the guards might get a little bit suspicious if I have a torch in here can I get all the way to the outside world and then break back into my cell maybe we can take some skeever tail out of here with us yeah a nice little skeever tail that'll be a good little remember remembrance of our journey did I grab the fork I grabbed the knife I didn't see a fork up there still have to get out of here and it's an expert lock come on no this way oh God damn it sorry my emotions got the best of me there yeah but do I really have to go get uppies and go back to jail just to then go back to jail again well no this I guess this oh hey that we have to take the alternate route oh my gosh my belongings are here too I need to find another lock pick and get back here as soon as I can that's really cool it even has quick access to your belongings I am I'm gonna oh crap crap oh the exit is the guard barracks I don't know why I forgot that but that sounds really dangerous okay looks kind of clear for everything that this jail hands you when you're trying to escape it locks away an easy exit right at the okay yeah it's really easy up until you get here into the guard Barracks but there's only one guard so I wonder if I could okay where can I get a lock pick really quickly turn back around you saw nothing you shall say nothing I should just hit the door as fast as I can they were in town why didn't they care what's going on am I free what the [ __ ] I spend a lot of time okay we have to break into jail I'll get a lock pick real quick why did they leave me alone how did I get away with that the finest weapons I think that bumps up a Whiterun in my opinion you have one you have one lock pick thank you Adrian useless well met traveler who strangely looks like they just escaped from prison take a look do come back the gold that we found in jail already paying off dividends drowned gamer how are you thank you for stopping by the stream we're currently in the middle of tier listing every single jail in Skyrim your stuff will despawn if you take too long oh yeah that's why I'm I'm running back real quick all right now we'll go back in run around up the stairs hopefully not get caught by these bozos awesome ah scot-free what is my bounty is that why they're not mad at me okay my Whiterun Bounty is 105. what did I even do to get thrown in jail excuse me officer nope good to see you you do not know me well I mean you know me because of my comfortable waiting they only recognize me because of my previous appearances on the popular ABC show Extreme Makeover home Edition Dan Olson I'm doing well I'm excited to be getting this challenge out of the way okay so Whiterun let's talk about the white run jail we got our souvenirs I don't really even remember what our souvenirs were to be honest a little bit underwhelmed with our souvenirs how they how they came to be but I would say for I'm just gonna make an entire new slide right under this one and call it Whiterun jail all right so white run jail that looks a bit better white we're in jail we have uh standard prison design nothing nothing really stands out about it in terms of you know being there it feels like jail looks like jail um Big Time positive though we have the ease of access Escape Route that's a huge Plus I think that elevates it maybe we'll have to look at the other jails to sort of compare them into a real tier list we've got the ease of access Escape Route we've got questionable ethics dead naked prisoner why are they in there what's the story behind that how did this prisoner end up both dead and naked at the same time uh I'm gonna say you know lame souvenirs that's the word I'm looking for lame suit the souvenirs were lame I I got what a lantern a fork a little bit of gold nothing too crazy um but I will say uh good undercroft the sort of sewer Escape Route sewer Escape it's classic Elder Scrolls kind of you know running through a tiny little dungeon to escape jail but I have to say big negative unfortunate exit space the actual space where you exit is just right in the guard Barracks that's not ideal that's bad but at least it does put you in a decent position to just run straight through it so I'll say overall what I'm thinking right now if I'm gonna like give it a grade if I'm gonna score it out of 10 the jail itself I would say the design of it and the look of it really takes it down for me it's too basic the first time you find that little Escape hole is fun it is incredibly stupid that a jail cell will just have a hole in the ground like that that could easily Escape what the hell were the city planners thinking so I'm gonna give the White Run jail an overall score I'm I'm gonna give it a five seven five point seven fairly average I think slightly above average because it has the Escape Route I think that brings it up just a tad and you know what actually hold on no I'm gonna raise the score just a bit there's one point I'd left out I'm going six one six point one and I'm going at six one because of easy to access uh evidence chest the evidence chest was pretty easy to get so I'm going to raise it to six one whose perspective are you rating from I think all of them I don't know I think all of them that's just how we'll rate them we're just we're just doing it for fun anyway whatever's the most fun is what we'll go with so I'm going six one let's get a new slide next up on the list Solitude jail let's do solitude next accidentally covered up chat so I can't see you be a good travel writer and list the souvenirs ah you're right you're actually so right okay so the souvenirs that we took from White Run jail souvenirs skeever tail I'm just gonna write this down without switching over skeva tail knife Lantern all right now we gotta get thrown in jail in solitude I get bored I'm probably just gonna punch you in the face and that'll get me sent to jail really quickly that's a fun way we can break the law here we can't really interrupt the execution anymore so sadly we can't do that lost chat again look at me go I'm a professional foreign is this really the yarl we want to punch in the face I guess that's one way to just get thrown into jail sure I like it I like your style chat you're right to the point I want to get thrown to jail I'm running directly to the castle and I'm gonna throw a right hook at the yarl's face super easy punch the vampire instead not elusive punch the pretty lady you guys are all mixed mixed signals I got mixed signals earlier from you Chad when it came to the blank book we were trying to find I'm getting mixed signals now hold on while we're here while we're here we could try to find an Inkwell and a pen it might be easy to find I feel like the castle would be a place for that to you know end up oh hello just tidying up Folks at court won't admit it disappear stent or scares us all to death use the Waba Jack I don't want to go through the whole quest to get the Waba Jack right now excuse me sorry to interrupt your political discussion but uh lights people what say you in your defense you got me officer take me to jail a stretch in the castle dower dungeon will straighten you right out the castle dower dungeon oh wait a minute thank you kind sir yesterday was my birthday so I'd really appreciate if you could try to steal a sweet troll at some point well biscuit yesterday was the Sweet Roll stream if you missed it but thank you so much for the tier one and happy birthday all right while we're in solitude let's take a look I mean this is a cool layout this is desperate it's uh dystopian right it kind of It kind of has a gulag vibe to it where you come down here it's levels upon levels you don't really get to face that many prisoners either unless you have one directly across from you so the only conversation you can keep is by deftly sliding a note under the door and boomeranging it that's a word under the other door banners are hanging I mean this is what this would be a tough place to get out of absolutely now I don't know if this is creation club or if this has always been a thing in this game but we've got a loose brick here map to Black bone aisle I'm pretty sure that's creation Club also have a note from Kevin what do you got for me Kevin 15 men a sunken treasure and a low shipped that's what I left behind I took less than a day to sail to Black bone Isle Captain said we didn't worry about the cold so we left the fans The Furs and packed the steel blah blah blah blah blah more lore okay so there is some lore in this I'm taking Kevin's note I think Kevin's note counts as a souvenir have a great stream dude resulters thank you so much for a three-month streak and thank you for the tier one okay well that was easy I mean do we give points off or do we give points four having an ease of axis Escape Route I guess we have to give it points because we didn't White Run oh the bed is bad that's bad this is really bad it's a pile of [ __ ] hay at least in Whiterun you get a cot but this is really bad but look at the other amenities we have in here though we have a [ __ ] bucket we have a piss basket we have a puking chair so all three we can take care of look in the wank baskets in the corner too but again with the mysterious dead body that they just don't clean up out of the oh that's Kevin himself oh that's we have Kevin I didn't know we had Kevin in here speaking of blank there's a large sack in the corner a whole lot a whole lot of stuff being handed up they hand out flour so I guess there is some food here but I mean you're just gonna be resorting to eating powdered wheat I'm not sure how good that would be points off because it's one time use the [ __ ] bucket no it's not [ __ ] bucket you could throw on the door throw out there I think we do have to give a point off or do we do have to give some negative points for structural structure structural integrity so let's at least just take some notes here we're going to take some notes as we do it so Solitude jail thank you let's go ease of access exit shoddy infrastructure infrastructure that's a hard word to spell we got bad infrastructure control cap thank you so much for the prime uh we have [ __ ] bucket [ __ ] buckets of positive really bad bed really bad bad I think the quality of bed can take huge points off I'm very against a bad bed but we also have nice layout Gulag Style intimidating it's very Imperial I mean you you get the sense that this is an imperial prison while you're in there so we do have Kevin so we have lore included which is nice so I'm kind of lower included that that's a that's a bonus right it's just content because of the jail hello Cassie I'm doing well you just watched the multiplayer Skyrim VOD with Kiwa and Mickey D amazingly fun what happened to the band tour of Skyrim quest we never got around to it unfortunately fortunately the band's plans never materialized but that was a ton of fun uh again mysterious dead body I know it's Kevin but I don't like when they leave a dead body in the jail it's just it's bad what if another person dies what are they going to do with the next five people that die right are they just gonna leave them in the cell also teal teal Vision television is that how I say that thank you so much for the prime sorry I missed that control cat did I say that results I got you just want to make sure I didn't miss any so I'm scrolling through chat the secret exit is a one-time yes you're right secret exit is one-time use it's one time use we've already burned our one-time use and now for our souvenirs we have Kevin's letter a [ __ ] bucket and a piss basket so that we can successfully prove that we were here [ __ ] bucket ooh lock pick and piss basket okay we got our souvenirs and oh sorry sorry about that I did not switch yep scene but check it out we also have a prisoner belongings chest ease of access once again that's another Plus okay thank you kind sir we got all of our stuff Ty Pennington has leveled up to level nine and for the first time ever in this game's history I need to take lock picking perks I have to I'm gonna need it okay nice little Escape Route I really like built-in Escape Routes I know this is one this one's only one time use so yeah it doesn't really get to keep a lot of the points and it takes you right back into town in the middle of town no guard barracks if you take the secret exit Cassie thank you very much for the prime we will do Raven Rock jail they are on the list and then after that scot-free I wave say my hellos as well as my goodbyes at the same time and we have left the city that's not bad um so now that we've left and we've escaped let's go back and take another look at our final notes because we're gonna have to give a final score here uh so we have ease of access exit I'm gonna go slash belongings but it's one time use which I don't think gets it that many points the infrastructure is obviously crumbling a little bit if an entire wall was gonna fall the crumbling infrastructure is what gave us the one-time use exit but if the infrastructure is still bad and after we leave the infrastructure will still be bad but there's no ease of access exit I don't know if I can give it I'm gonna tell you what I'm thinking I'm going to tell you what I'm thinking for a final score chat and then you know we can see how close I am to what you guys are thinking but of course if you're in the chat rank it one through ten decimals allowed so really it's like ranking it one to a hundred but whatever you believe that the Solitude jail is police rank taking in all the factors that we have remember the piss bucket the poop bucket those are very important you know supplying oh the bed is so bad though I do like the layout but the bet is so bad it's hey it's skin the last one at least had a cot you know don't be mad at me chat four nine Solitude jail is a four nine it is not a five it is not a five it is not average it and I'm confident as we start to go through these jails that it will not nothing will it things are going to be below it things are going to be above it but four nine is going to be somewhere right in the middle it I I can't give it an average average four six five five three out of ten six seven we have a six seven and a six eight seven point eight where are some of these numbers coming from too high unless you like being eaten by a vampire DLC including or just base game uh there's one jail in Dragonborn and we're gonna do that one you think I I think you need to give more points to the layout I don't know I don't think I do time on one sec chat sorry I've got to unmute my mic I'm sticking with four nine got to go with whatever we're feeling here it's a gut feeling and I'm sticking by it so we might as well just go down the line and do Markarth since it's right down the road but I'm not really sure how Markarth is going to play out are you all right did you see what happened a woman attacked right on the streets and it wasn't me well got something looks like letter from the yarrow moving up in the world I just got out of jail we'll talk later Okay so easiest way to get thrown into jail hmm I'll just grab some meat punch a child let's go let's go to the Markarth jail it's off to the Sydney mine for you which is not a jail all right prisoner eyes front you're in Sydney there's no resting your hide in a Cell in this prison here you work you're mine or until you start throwing up silver bars you got it I'm sorry I'm a little deaf in this ear now you get down there all right I'm going I'm going not a great start here but you know what pause let me say real quick let's bring this back over to our informative PowerPoint slide here let's get a new slide going Sydney mine did I spell that right maybe I did I don't really care Markarth I'll tell you what not very often does a jail in this country offer you a sense of community friendship right think about it we come in here and we've already got friends great to catch a stream already already some friends over here we can we can jump down figure out what the vibe is maybe talk to people hey what are you in for oh nice well I murdered the parents of 14 different orphans what are you what did you do oh you stole bread to feed your starving family well I'm technically in here for stealing a hunk of meat Cody how are you thank you very much for the tier one let's just the new meat So Soft tender see and we've already made a friend what was it like killing your first one huh killing my first parent exciting I felt the rush of blood and smile I'm not a murderer I'm just gonna lie to him liar no uh how does he know Steve what did I tell you Chad what are you in for we're already being very comrade or camaraderie or camaraderie that's not a word I'm making it a word murder banditry assault theft and lollygagging he's in for lollygagging don't mess with this guy don't mess with this guy it's kind of an open concept kind of jail um you know I thought we would really just open this place uh make it spacious have room for like kind of a get together Maybe karaoke night or something one time sorry my mom's an interior designer and has watched a lot of those shows before I feel like I hear that it's kind of open concept maybe a bit of a modern look 12 years ago was running a good group of but these Force they're nothing like them the front of my nose could stop itching I'd appreciate it can you make me bloodkin trust like that is not freely given I want to join a gang like this place has the most potential for sure to have imprisoned gangs it's the only actual prison in this game what are you in for new nothing I'm innocent I did nothing wrong so was I for the first one the other murders were all we're all serve your time at the pickaxe and get out you don't want to end up getting a shiv in the guts over a bottle of skooma okay whatever nazim oh a shiv skooma small blade easy to hide I mean sure you could just swing a pickaxe into someone's face but people tend to see that coming got a problem with a prisoner get a shiv here grisvar has a spare if you could get him apart with it hell yeah I need to get a shiv also is there skooma in jail bottles of moon sugar Khajiit use it as a pick-me-up good way to pass the time prisoners smuggle the stuff in only currency we have I like this guy I like the characters that are in this jail they come in here once a week to clean out the bodies gravity and the guards here clean out dead bodies we haven't seen that in any other prison we have to write that down we have to write that down that's huge that's a direct comparison to the other jails and we have it backed up by you know in-game dialogue so hold on they have corpse removal here sense of community friendship we have corpse removal service is corpse removal services um old heads I'm just gonna say old heads like you know in the prison movie whenever the main character goes to prison and they find somebody it's always an old head there's always an old head in the jail who kind of shows them the ropes and explains things explains things to them at all the other jails you're the old head that you run into it's just a text box when you click on your bed and it says eh you know wait here as long as you can and just sleep it off and then you're done but wisdom sharing in prison and having you know an old guy you can kind of just connect with and trust a little bit that's huge right away I think sitting to mine is off to a pretty big lead also yes okay it has a functioning functioning prison economy this is the closest one to a normal society we've found it might be the only one it's definitely the only one like this this is gonna be a 10 out of 10. this is gonna be S tier I just know it will next time sorry for spoilers but it's get it's gonna be way up there in terms of score all right who can we get a shiv from because I want to take that I think it's Gris bar hey I need a shiv it's important it's for a mission you want protection can get you what you need still Moon sugar thank you easy thinking about it Hey Jude hope your weekend was great Shannon you as well thank you I hope you had a good weekend thank you Fred don't worry I'll have that shiv ready for you first time thieving the second time leaving the third time thieving it kind of keeps going like that until next year because someone said I was a horse to swear if I ever get out of here okay we're gonna get skooma who do we have to get it from grisvar really oh that's who we have to get it for okay quests available in prison other prisoners get suspicious when we talk to each other so keep it down whenever I get out of here I'm gonna you give me one more look and I and I cut you open that scum is mine tell me this place has prison fights addict taken okay no prison fights but you can use intimidation on people so we can call that rough we can call that uh rough encounters which are very jail I ever get out of here giving up thieving really who's your shiv promise you won't ever use it on me okay all right then all right Chris Barr I promise hell yeah check it out I got a weapon I'm innocent You're Not Innocent You're Not Innocent just do your time like the rest of us here okay all right now for our souvenirs let's go pickaxe shiv and then I want to find my own skooma let's see if we can find some skuma if we can get out of jail with skooma that'd be huge how do we break out of here though is it possible to break out of here without the quest he does he has skuma on him okay we gotta get the skooma it doesn't move very often 48 chance I like those odds I do think I can steal from him what do you think I'm not doing anything and I'm certainly not cheating okay I've been caught three times this is too much what happens if I get caught pickpocketing though does he attack me oh no this is just turning into a prison Barrel now all right come on you don't want to hand over your drugs hey no magic no double teams I'm getting jumped I'm actually getting jumped in prison why are you attacking me you're the old head you're supposed to be my friend all right everybody let's just calm down now you're not Reviving him you put him back in jail he was probably happy to you know meet his fate why he's ever here a [ __ ] why is everyone here a fire enthusiast you should have picked a smarter fight how are they all too powerful for Fury it's like the best spell in the whole game I'm not gonna get in trouble for this am I I mean they did attack me okay this Oracle guy is tough what's his deal don't worry Chad I just want to kill them all and see where it goes we have to explore the options available here okay now that's a positive if you want you can engage in prison riots that would be fun you can incite a whole Riot got gauntlets skooma damn everyone has scooma on them they're all leaving me hanging I want scuba everyone has a shiv as well taking an extra one now that door's unlocked requires a key I doubt there's really another way to get the key grisvar the you're the one who didn't get killed you're the lucky one I got locked up one too many times now I'm in for life swear if I ever first it was six months then a year then two years you know what right so you serve your time here by doing hard manual labor which the that's certainly a negative what do their lodgings look like where are the beds there has to be a place we sleep right unless it's behind that locked gate what do we have in here we have cabbage okay we have to get behind that locked gate I don't know if there's enough stuff here we can use though to get through it like I really doubt that I can use a pickaxe to get through or maybe I can it's possible what if we took a tunic take a rough spun tunic it's fairly flat kind of like a plate doesn't seem to be agreeing with our hitbox might be too thin if we go up here this one's uh not even locked it's just not a door that can be activated unless my game is glitched in a weird way it looks like our only way to move forward is to go through that door right there or wait out our sentence all right I'm going to load my previous save I'm going to steal the skooma successfully grab this cup and hope I can just blast right through the door yeah it's only it's only through the quest you serve your time by digging so dig uh I'm gonna be stubborn for a little bit and just try this because it looks like there's a little bit of give oh my God it actually worked oh yes okay we hit the exit successfully we got skuma we got a shiv another locked door though who are you yeah how do you have this nice cushy little place you must be Quest related he's got money back here he's got a whole operation this just confirms that there is an active prison economy here and literacy yes they have a reading program they have a writing and reading program that's another huge huge win for Sydney mine thank you maybe this guy has the key no he doesn't this bucket should work come on right there um oh you son of a door foreign damn it oh I kind of like it when the bucket's laying almost yeah when it's laying vertically like that I think that Way's gonna work better if we get the bucket vertical oop except it launches it and almost kills me why am I having such a hard time with the bucket does he have a sorry my bad I know chat you're probably yelling at me already there's a wooden plate on the desk I can see the comments now wooden plate for sure the easiest come on you're right there Ty you can do this we've interior decorated we've carried a sweet roll we've done a lot of [ __ ] I'm not letting this door beat me there we go blast on through did the plate go with me now we probably lost the plate sadly but we're through the door now as long as we don't run into another oh Christ oh man all right well we got a dungeon we have to go through now this prison just keeps getting better and better okay will this be an all prisons ranked video no all the quests that we've done in the last few streams will all be in one video at least that's the goal I mean this is cool cool little exit we even have Loot on the way out Enchanted gear probably spiders we're gonna run into spiders aren't we yeah it's not ideal but at least I have a Fighting Chance which is more than most prisoners have can probably beat this guy with a shiv okay no even on the easiest difficulty they're still pretty tough don't block with it not gonna help ow where the hell is the exit is this it is that it not the exit there it is oh my God they even have robot Guardians no not today I have a book to write I need to write my book I can't handle all this although not a lot of authors can tell a story of running away from giant spiders and robots it requires a key always a key [Music] um don't tell on me all right I think we got enough of the Markarth jail experience there though to take whatever notes we want I can't believe that exit door didn't need a key incredible wow yeah it's because I took the first perk of lock picking that's why that's why all right so the city of mine we've got a sense of community and friendship corpse removal services old heads in the prison we have a functioning prison economy no beds only one or one guy gotta take that into account no beds no easy exit route no easy exit route prison riots are a plus open concept well we'll you know it's uh that's such a dumb thing it's more of open concept just say there's nothing there just say it's empty open concept just means empty and for our souvenirs we have a shiv a and a shovel honestly probably our best three souvenirs that we've gotten so far and now for a final score for sitting to mine in Markarth taking everything into account no beds everyone sleeps on the dirt it's manual labor I didn't really even put that in there manual labor although compared to the other prisons that don't offer anything um manual labor is tough but you are doing something all day so you could probably find ways to motivate yourself through your jail sentence that way All Things Considered I think the sense of community and having actual just people to talk to in the prison elevates it to a level that no other prison we test will reach so I'm thinking I gotta go with my gut I gotta go with my my brain tells me eight three eight point three I okay I forgot the literacy program I didn't talk about the literacy program was the literacy program actually was it I don't know if that was just a guy reading it might not have uh he might he might not have been part of the literacy program but right yeah Literacy for one guy a bed for one guy I just gotta go with the you know what I'm seeing that's all I can do we can just go first instinct how we feel it's a Vibes kind of thing it's certainly a Vibes thing so final score for Markarth sitting to mind 8.3 let's recap a little bit right run we gave a 6.1 Solitude I really downgraded to a four nine for various reasons Markarth comes in as our leader at 8.3 a new Benchmark is sitting to mine going to be the best jail in all of Skyrim all right now we can move East I believe how many are left on the list I gotta check the list one more time Okay so we've done Markarth I'm just gonna put an X next to him if we've done them Markarth solitude thank you kindness light run I guess we'll move East and do Falkreath next let's do Fall Creek walk wreath jail I've been to Fall Creek Jail recently on a stream a while ago both recently and a while ago apparently but I do know roughly what we're gonna see when we go there we're off to Fall Creek did I get my stuff back I guess I didn't get my stuff back um yeah I totally forgot about my stuff I forgot about it excuse me officer I'm just back to retrieve my things is my stuff still in my room no we got our stuff back in Whiterun and in solitude excuse me ma'am where is the evidence chest I get you stealing anything I will break your neck no you won't you most certainly will not nobody's broken Ty Pennington's neck oh it's in here it's in here all right we might not have any choice we might have to get caught here what do we have for lock picks one can we pickpocket the key off of somebody she just said to mine yeah she has the key on her classic yes Raven Rock jail is on the list sorry for cheating see they don't even care it's perfectly fine they're like oh those are your things yeah yeah I remember prisoner 4B yeah we have you on record go get your stuff it's all marked it's all tagged we're good to go all right Falkreath I want to say is really small might as well put our shiv to good use can you upgrade the shiv see where's the grindstone don't tell me you don't have a grindstone what kind of blacksmith are you yes all right all right you got me hey hey I said you got me oh no oh they might have heard of my exploits I must have sheathed too early damn it officer just put me in jail okay they're really mad this is why you should not attempt to assassinate the yarl I wasn't gonna kill him get out of the way please okay excuse me hey how are you welcome to our bar can I get you anything vodka Red Bull vodka cranberry oh a whiskey sour okay okay all right I'm leaving ow [ __ ] got me in the knees I'm not reviewing your jail anymore I'm leaving you a one star review on Yelp ah Jesus look at all those red dots poor fools aren't aware that the high elf has the fastest running speed in the game right that's why they're all upset they've had too many people coming by just to check out their jail must be a popular attraction if it is I have to see it has anybody ever enter into Fall Creek from here this feels like a rare entrance to Falkreath like a part of the game map that nobody ever goes through dude douche nozzle put me in it's starting to piss me off now I've used too many of my I've used too many of my auto saves as well they're just gonna keep attacking me I'll be back foreign I'm about to skip you I'm about to skip you entirely they're about to be forgotten about the prison the history of prison the uh thesaurus of prisons in Skyrim will not include Falkreath right now because they're being dicks being just you're being rude I don't like them you know we're going to marthal we're going to marthal instead well we'll check out Fall Creek after a few more jails but let's try marthol no I will not be assaulting the yarl here because the yarrow here is awesome yarrow idgrod ravencrone is the best URL in Skyrim and I will have no arguments I will attack this chicken though Skyrim and her people what say you in your defense I would love to see your jail please allow me to tour your prisons all right so okay first impressions are actually much more positive than I would have thought here we have a broom and a bucket we have a basket and another bucket so two possible [ __ ] buckets the bed roll I think is underrated yes it's on a stone floor it's not nearly as good as the cot if it was raised it would probably be the best bed possible but it is a bed roll I mean that's better than hey and like a [ __ ] you wolf skin on top of it like that's not that bad for this setting and all that now and look we even have a chandelier of goat horns that's some pretty fancy setup infrastructure looks really strong and stable that's not too bad look they even have aesthetic and a skiver head on the wall bed rolls are on top of hay come on now no they're not come on that's like a Sprinkle of hay that's like saying you seasoned your steak when all you did was just flick you know some salt at it that's nothing now here's where the issues kind of start you leave the cell you're met with one guard minimal encounters to get out of here another bed and I assume that this just connects right to the barracks so the escape from here is going to be pretty miserable but in terms of comfort I gotta say this one's not that bad it's claustrophobic for sure doesn't have a cool easy exit like Whiterun but I don't think that this is that bad in my head right now I think that this will land higher on the list than solitude let's break out of here first because you know we have to find our souvenirs I have a better idea here's how I'm gonna get out of jail hey not fair not fair you got to open the door unless does he not have the key to pick the lock with one of his arrows stay right there I need him to get really close to the door he's too far he's trying to counter me close to the door just like in the action movies grab him from Between the Bars right slam his head against the door he's pissing me off now look they even have apples in here they care about prisoner health no no I'm done I'm done with this guard [ __ ] I'm getting out of here you can even use the poop bucket to escape out the door it just has to work eventually it will can I block his arrow with the basket I kind of want to try he seems to be struggling though getting his arrows through the door oh damn it come on you can do this come on Ty this is embarrassing this guy needs to hurry up and run out of arrows a bucket or the bucket no bucket's not working I'm gonna have to take points off if I can't get through this door with any of the buckets of the baskets sack can't move the sack no still not working what is going on fine I'll unlock the door during combat Lock's gonna break maybe not come on too far [ __ ] too far I knew it ah I'm sorry that drives me nuts oh damn it ah why okay not bad somehow he heard that somehow he heard that and he cares now what's cool about this prison though is it does kind of allow you to fight a guard immediately in a one-on-one encounter rather than getting jumped by 20 of them so I think that that's a decent positive we can't hate on this too much all right at least I'm not gonna hit hold on a roll of paper a quill we found the quill we needed was there an ink wheel on here I accidentally just blasted to the back of the room I'm probably not gonna be able to find it if there was one all right but either way we got no key I'm gonna take a roll of paper key to the jail I need another souvenir though what should my souvenir from here be got all my stuff back all my souvenirs wine and a roll of paper those are our souvenirs souvenirs could use some love Shaffer Merrell thank you very much for the prime apologies for missing that but thank you Juve I want to say I love your vids especially about a channel Dan Olsen I appreciate that thank you thank you very much so this one goes right to I mean this is a great layout if this was the prison itself this room and they gave this to the prisoners it would probably be a 10 out of 10. but so far I'm leaning I think I'm leaning 5-1 between sorry between five nine and six three at least so far but it does connect right to the guard house we'll have to see how this plays out here like is this going to be a nearly impossible Escape or is it easy I hear someone okay there's a guard sleeping right there I've already been caught is that a child no it's just a guy I don't really have any potions I can use either okay so I am going to get caught might as well just run for it oh wait he's not a guard he doesn't care all the guys are sleeping who are you I'm the best warrior in northol and that's no boast crap I stopped on really I gotta unlock this door Banner Morthal used to be a quiet place but then the world used to whatever I'm Walton out of here crimes against Skyrim and your people what say you in your defense honestly bro just take me back to jail at this point what is that crap oh now all the other guards are awake fantastic well you know what piss off I'm leaving regardless I can't believe that's what gets me caught are you serious Jesus guys go go go get me out of here okay uh regardless with that last interaction being kind of [ __ ] we made it out and I have to say marthal probably the easiest Escape of them all but I'm gonna have to put that yeah in the cons category of incredibly confident sight of an eagle guards hearing of a bat he used echolocation to find me as soon as the lock pick broke that [ __ ] knew when and where I was jump you you violated the law come with me and bask in our prison please we'd like you to rate US five stars much better than the Tiber septim Hotel in the Elven Gardens District please enjoy your stay with us okay so that was marthal I gotta be honest I think that the Escape being as smooth and easy as it was if that guard never popped up it would have been perfection so in terms of grading it out honestly well let's talk about it let's talk about it we haven't done all the pros and cons we haven't listed out anything so I'll have to say cozy aesthetic oops I have caps lock on cozy aesthetic certainly got a cozy aesthetic I think it's got you like right right like it's got the chandelier if I spelled that right it's got the chandelier it's got um good woodwork fine woodwork real sturdy sturdy I think is the right word I'm looking for it's got a chandelier good word woodwork it's sturdy in there will I ever go get your pre we went to get our previous belongings I don't know what you're talking about we got them cozy aesthetic uh only one guard only one guard incredibly easy Escape I mean it's it's really easy that that should be an easy one for them to get through beds not bad they're they're okay I mean they're passable apples I will just say amenities it's got some amenities it's got some apples a [ __ ] bucket right [ __ ] buckets are always nice to have in the jail uh a bit small it is a bit small I don't want to be all positive here it's a bit small kind of by the books nothing really special about it oh I'm ready for Falkreath mortho we gotta change it to more though because we skipped Falkreath it's a little bit by the books I I think that kind of just sums it up so our souvenirs we took a quill wine was the last thing we took I think we took a [ __ ] bucket so the souvenirs were kind of either way I'm going final score remember I just have to go with the first number that pops in my head I'm going final score is sitting to mine is an 8-3 and Solitude is a four nine I gotta go with the first number that popped in my head first impression number this might be a little high but I'm gonna give mortal a 7-1 I'm gonna go seven one I'm going with a 7.1 71 71 out of 100 and I I think this is going to be my most controversial pick but I think the straight line escape to get out of there was so convenient they had just a regular named NPC who didn't care about my crimes that's who was on staff that was the second guard I didn't even get in trouble for killing the first guard remember the first guard we got we were able to kill him with no repercussion so I'm going 7-1 I I was gonna go six nine at first but I just I had to lean 7-1 because of the Escape I'm just simping for the yarl there maybe I am okay maybe I'm leaving yarl idgrod ravencrone a good review on her jail because I like her because I have a crush on her is that what you want me to say because she's got an Essence about her that is commanding and confident and cool sexy I don't know but either way seven one is the answer that's what I'm going with and I'm not changing it Dawnstar yes the Dawn star jail anybody ever gone to jail in Dawnstar I feel like going to jail and Dawnstar is an impossible feat we might be the first Skyrim players to ever witness what Don star jail looks like because off the top of my head I have no idea let's just keep it really simple here right real easy with it set a guard on fire stop right there pull a little prank I guess you're smart [Music] okay so if Morthal is a 7-1 this is already a downgrade the betting situation is similar I'll give it that for having passable beds but look at what we had in northol and what they've taken away from us they took away our [ __ ] bucket they took away our broom the chandelier has been replaced with sconces I mean sconces there's nothing inherently wrong with the sconce love a nice sconce always been a sconce fan I love the sconce but the chandelier is sort of like the Pokemon evolution of the torch scones so I think that that's a bit of an upgrade I will say raiding material is nice but it depends on what the reading material is also no skiver head right there's just a lack of edge here a little cobwebs I don't remember seeing cobwebs in Morthal okay hold on this is a plus a lock picking book The Wolf Queen from the pen of my first century third era Sage mantokai third era year 63 and the atom can't read that word okay uh well the book is [ __ ] and really hard to read so I'm taking points off for that it's too difficult excuse me officer stay right there stay right there stay right there stay right there thank you didn't count didn't count didn't count come on come on it's 52 chance didn't count Ed uh I think that that's a pro as well that the guard's natural schedule and Route brings him to the jail door I think that that's a pro so now we can test the Escape Route we're already caught we're gonna get caught we're gonna get in trouble that's cool it's got to make sure to steal all of our stuff back we got it uh and for souvenirs I will take cheese a sweet roll and an apple pie we gotta get out of here fast though oh my Lord okay so the Escape is problematic here they have a very good strategy for resolving escaped prisoners they did clear out though they're not as competent as I thought holy crap they were all light up in the doorway okay so Dawnstar is like a slightly more competent jail than the Morthal jail Dawnstar was ready for an escape everybody remember my reviews and my jail experience is going to be different than everybody else's jail experience I just have to do these reviews based on what happened when I was there surprisingly easy to escape from jail all right let's review Dawnstar let's recap let's recap so Dawnstar we have similar but slightly worse God damn it caps lock similar but slightly worse aesthetic to Morthal cobwebs no [ __ ] bucket good reading Plus lock pick training however I'm going to put a little second note under this one the book is hard to read which makes me uncomfortable the book's hard to read all right it made up words Autumn tide automatide whatever it was saying yeah you don't get a lot of Grace there uh convenient Patrol route that brings the guard to stand right in front of your door so that they can have the key stolen from them that's nice easy Escape Route underneath that second point to kind of cancel out the good from that competent guard strategy the way they sort of line up in that staircase and create a brick wall of guards like you're climbing and swimming through a sewer tunnel it's just made up of liquid guard every inch of the staircase was covered by guard every square inch filled with Justice so that was kind of a difficult Escape but an easy route all in all our souvenirs were pie cheese Sweet Roll not bad souvenirs I don't think a Sweet Roll is a bad souvenir same with a pie but overall score just wait till you get to Winterhold jail or Fargo monkas Winterhold jail you say there's been a lot of hype on Winterhold jail so the overall score of Dawn star we gave marthal a 7-1 this absolutely cannot be higher than Morthal it's a worse version of marthal let's compare we have Cinema mine at eight three marthal at 7-1 Solitude four nine Whiterun is a 6-1 so for Dawn star I'm gonna go overall score of 5.8 5.8 is the final score I am awarding Don Stargell it's worse than marthal in almost every way it's worse it's got the lock picking book the lock picking book saves it a little bit same with having a straightforward and easy Escape Route but given what we scored Solitude and especially what we scored Whiterun thinking back on it retroactively okay this might be controversial also gapto thank you so much for a thousand bits I did not see that I I was reading through chat thank you very much that was incredibly kind of you I'm I'm bumping up Whiterun to a 6-3 because the inclusion of an actual bed in the Whiterun jail is starting to build up the White Run jail stock I think it's starting to get up there a bit five five out of 10 5.2 5.5 5.3 at best 5.5 at best so you think I should take it down even lower well I think I think I'm gonna leave it at a five eight but I think this needs to retroactively give Whiterun a bump to 6.3 and Whiterun still I think has Room to Grow I think Whiterun can climb up the leaderboards a bit it's not going to hit Morthal that's its barrier Whiterun cannot hit 7-1 at Max White Run can probably hit six eight maybe six nine haha funny number but right now I'm Gonna Leave Whiterun at a 6.3 I think it's the most Fair Dawnstar 5 8 just feels right you know it's it's just a number that rolls off the tongue five eight I think it fits Dawnstar we will we'll take another look at the end because we'll have to build this tier list out so after Dawnstar we will go to new slide Winterhold we're going to Winterhold next Markarth was an 8.1 let's go to Winterhold now you guys have been hyping up Winterhold a lot I'm gonna be honest I'm I'm not I feel like I kind of remember Winterhold I'm not supremely confident in it doing that well it could underperform right if this was March Madness Winterhold might be a three seed facing a 14 seed but I could see Winterhold getting upset take me to your jail hold up hold up hold up hold up that is not what it's called it's called The Chill no oh that is so cold oh no there's no way that a jail in the ice cold that just rolled up to this ranking and said oh no no no no no it's not the Winterhold jail it's not Sidney mine it's not deep Barrow cave or something like that it's the chill the chill enjoy the chill what happened to Tom we haven't seen him in a lot we haven't seen him in a while oh you didn't hear you didn't hear what happened he's in the chill that is sweet the aesthetic incredible I mean this is unlivable unhinged you do not want to be in this jail the walls are ice they do have a bed roll points for having a bed roll but the bed roll is on top of iron bars so the bedroom would be like falling in between those cracks you know what I mean it would be like like this like okay this is the ground and then you have your bed and it hits one of those cracks and then your bed would sort of Bend and then it would be flat on the bar and then it would bend again so your your back would be through waves you'd have so much back pain you'd be freezing cold there's you couldn't survive more than a day which is why these other prisoners are dead they don't have corpse removal confirmed no removal of corpses but at least you get an individual non-shared corpse-free cage so that's nice and let's talk about the guard I mean Dwayne welcome back it's good to see you long time no see haven't seen you since soulstein Dwayne the chillest atronic pun maybe intended in Elder Scrolls history I mean look at him I posted on Twitter not long ago I posted on Twitter and I said dream blunt rotation you know who I included in my dream blunt rotation Kai's casades yarl idgrod ravencrone Joffrey and this dude this dude just seems like a cool ass dude he can't talk yet but I know if he did he would say some awesome stuff if he could speak he'd have probably deep thoughts but he'd also be caring right he'd be like a big teddy bear that you want to hug but also hang out with now aside from all of that aside from this whole thing being really cool you know aesthetic wise prison wise I mean look at this I got no room I have no room for activities I can't even pretend to have hobbies in here I can't even close my eyes and say you know what today I'm just gonna imagine I'm out playing catch with my friends can't do that none of that this is despair so that's going to bring it down for sure being an absolutely miserable underground death prison gonna lose some points there but I have pretty high hopes for the chill with it it gets this is the only place that's going to get a severe bump in its score because of the name don't do it to me don't do this to me okay thank you okay so Dwayne is gonna be mad right away it's a nice easy Escape though you open it you leave where are the belongings oh my God it's an even worse more terrifying Escape they have three of them out there okay so if you leave you're you're jumped by even more giant rock men where's my stuff though where does it go it's not in the barrels oh hold on we have to get souvenirs okay give me a carrot some gold what else can I get am I gonna have to kill you fine okay we'll just have to take out this giant rock I don't want to kill him oh God oh God his friends are here oh no the way they post up it's like they know they've already won the fight okay and for our third server near souvenir fra salts we'll take frost salts out of here count it I got my souvenir excuse me hi oh they're going with the same strategy as the Dawn star guards it's a common jail escape defense strategy that a lot of groups in Skyrim employ oh listen fellas listen I'm conducting very intimate and important research and look where it's at look where the jail is that means the guards have to drag your ass where are we're the towns I mean it's a half mile away a half mile away they boat your ass out onto the icy lake throw you underground into a cavern that's just impossible that's terrifying gold on top of jail what do you mean well like the the vein oh I don't care we are we already got our uh we got our souvenirs we got gold coins I thought you were saying that I left my gold back there okay now I'm going north there's the town can I finish trouble back there oh I probably shouldn't fast travel back there but wait where is my stuff where does my stuff go it's on me oh duh I had my weapon and they don't okay so hold on I think I can reason here I think I can reads in here for something pretty wild so Winterhold jail AKA the chill untouchable badass name you can't touch it the chill is way too cool okay insane aesthetic downright miserable okay ice walls awful sleep no room to roam zero opportunities for friendship isolated and sad but hold on no evidence chest trial by combat easy Escape it's Merit bait it is a merit-based prison if you are thrown into the chill if you can escape you're free to go if you can escape you're free to go for souvenirs we took we took gold coins a carrot and uh ice or Frost salts and frostels so for souvenirs we got gold coins carrot and frost salts so the reason why I think all the terrible of the chill is offset by the simple fact that if you pick the lock to your cage and you run out of the cave and you're able to survive you're free to go you don't have to go through an Evidence chest you don't have to talk to the guards again you don't have to see really anything again you just have to run into some of the game's wild dangers that's all you have to run into and in terms of right doing this mission for the Thieves Guild if the thieves were going to be thrown into any of the jails the chill is probably the easiest one for them to get into and to slide out of well maybe not the easiest to get into because it's isolated and and the frequency with which you'll get jailed while in Winterhold is honestly much lower than the others but this is going to be controversial again and all things considered people aren't going to like this one I think this one's going to cause some uproar I am giving the chill an 8.8 final score placing it higher than send to mine for number one overall I am placing the chill and number one of an untouched aesthetic A vibe that is creepy and one that when you leave it for the first time like when I just left it now makes you kind of sit back and think whoa whoa they actually dragged me all the way out here that's terrifying like the concept of the chill as a jail is horrifying when they put people into the chill they go there to die not to leave so if you are able to escape if you're able to prove your worth and leave the jail no [ __ ] you keep all your stuff you're out sitting to mine right Quest locked you know there's some you gotta play around with it a little bit 8.8 .8 I'm not moving off of it you want to make your own list you want to rank them your own way rank them your own way using your own uh uh criteria okay next up on the list windtown jail I haven't been back to the windtown jail since we last played in Windhelm which was of course a region locked Adventure in Windhelm I remember a lot about this jail have I already been to Windhelm damn oh that's right I used console commands to delete these guys the dick heads right when you get into town all right how should I get thrown in jail um I don't know what to do I'm not going to Club the child I'm not I'm not gonna hit nope oh that's right they're investigating a murder here he's the murderer what say you in your defense wait he just attacked he just attacked the actual murderer now I was trying to do you a favor and take out the murderer before I could go to jail but guess I gotta go to jail I guess you're smarter than you look all right so we've been here before obviously last time we were here was during that Quest um let's just you know I guess sort of relive it take another look around right yes aesthetically uh this place is one of the scarier dungeons you know you've got torture equipment in the corners I'm not sure why it's textured I feel like it's why is the lighting so good in here I feel like something changed in here but you know torture devices in the corner skulls honestly this place is much more underwhelming than the first time I was here there's definitely a leak in the ceiling so infrastructure is a bit of a problem but overall it's a fairly solid structure a leak in the ceiling isn't great escaping looks pretty tough though because I think this just leads right into the barracks hold on there's a guard right in front of me okay convenient guard pads so you can reload your quick save when even though you have a no no no no no you there we go okay so you get your key you're able to jump out oh my God I haven't been caught should I go hide in the other cell yes all right we're gonna be able to get out of here clean we need that guard to go on their path again can I wait when enemies are nearby okay they're gonna go on their path do their thing and then we'll jump into this one right when the guard turns around I guess that's a positive to the Windhelm jail yeah you can change rooms if you don't like your room guard goes on their path again move we're out the main door we're probably gonna get caught as we go up this hallway but I'm okay with that nicely okay that's it now we're done damn I probably could have actually made it out of here too okay when you leave more guards certainly quite a few there's the evidence in the corner oh there's a lot of them waking up now we gotta go stop please they didn't go with the cha the stair strategy so the guards aren't too competent here I gotta say I mean it is in the castle which is cool whoa there's a ton of Them All Right Guard response is very quick yeah guard response is nothing to mess around with here I mean unless you kind of game the system they send the entire [ __ ] Rebel Alliance after you oh my God how can you kill a god [Music] shanku you are very kind I appreciate that very much thank you so much I hope you're having a wonderful start to your week on this maybe not beautiful depending on the uh region you live in but on this beautiful Monday April the 3rd of 2023 but Shane thank you all right let me get out of here get away from all these guards bit of a tough Escape I mean they have guards posted all throughout the Escape when you leave all along the road it's getting kind of hard to rank these places okay we have escaped is Riften the last one oh Falkreath we haven't technically gotten into Falkreath so hold on save get back over to our okay Windhelm jail I'm not gonna lie boring it's just boring there's nothing that strikes me I mean it's a little a little edgy but not that much you know it's got some torture devices which is cool you know gets you a little whoo What if that happens to me but overall nah it just kind of yeah there's nothing great about it it's got a puddle yeah weak infrastructure uh bed is below average limited space uh dumb guards the guards are really stupid dumb guards easy to pick pocket that's a plus that's always nice very quick and very heavy response time I also just realized I did not collect souvenirs from that prison I did not collect souvenirs from that prison uh souvenirs to be determined I need to go back there and get my souvenirs at a certain point I never grabbed them I do still have the key yeah so getting souvenirs should be easy I just have to go back and grab them uh this one I mean every other jail has made me feel something but the Windham jail just hasn't and if Solitude is the lowest at four or nine Solitude at least gave me something Solitude made me feel something and now looking back on it I feel that was a little hard on solitude final score for Windhelm jail is a a woe for three seven three oh three seven it looks like I landed right on uh a couple of other people's guesses yeah it just doesn't make me feel anything the wall had unique textures and bird statues 3.8 are you really trying to negotiate with me over 0.1 you're that is true I did get a concussion from all the guards hold on one sec sorry I missed a phone call I wasn't sure where it was from I had to double check damn it they got me all rattled I thought I thought it was something bad at first okay Now we move on to the Riften jail I want to say I like the rift in jail I mean we're doing this mission for the Thieves Guild so I would think we have some Advantage here who is this guy does anybody remembering Aaron in Elder Scrolls of course his name Aaron has to be spelled like an Elder Scrolls Aaron would be spelled calm down Aaron all right he thinks I look like drywall that's why he's so confident he can win this fight crimes against Skyrim and her people what say you in your defense all right let's go to Joe whoa heyo hold on a damn second wow I mean wow first impression stunning chandeliers woodwork stable I mean even the brick looks sort of clean Stone it's more Stone than it is Brick look we have decoration on the wall pure wolf skin flayed out a bed standing off the ground I mean granted it is made of hay we have a pillow here a regular we have a headboard we have a [ __ ] bucket we have our own dresser with a change of clothes we have a table we can eat on the table there's Lighting in the corner we even have a secondary basket for storage look I find extra cheese I can put the cheese in the basket not a lot of jails you can put cheese in a basket and let me tell you that much now biased of course because this town is ran by criminals so that probably explains why the jail is so spacious but wow look at all that room for one cell everyone in here being treated like royalty she's got bread she has booze she has wine everything your heart could imagine now this [ __ ] okay this is a little ridiculous I'm not a big fan of this I don't like it I don't like that we have a tiered system in the jail that just feels wrong we should bring him down a level or at least you know take some of the fine silverware he has and pass it along to the other prisoners or maybe that rug split it into Force I would like some rug let me take some of your rug okay you did nothing to earn that or then commit crimes I mean he's making out like a king down here he's got bread and I mean like he's ran a couple of errands beer and wine absolutely 12 out of 10. this is the best jail you want to go if you're going to jail you want to go to this jail this is the jail that you want to be in that was that was amazing that was just too good so how about the Escape oh wait hold on I need souvenirs I'll take a plate I will take a complete change of clothes [ __ ] whoops you have committed crimes again I guess yes don't worry not gonna [ __ ] up the lock pick this time why can I never get it first try it's driving me nuts it's it's 52 chance grab the [ __ ] key grab it just grab it it's right you're right there grab the key drives me up a [ __ ] wall sometimes oh you didn't she she that's too early stop right I guess see and then he gets to get a free hit in what is that crap who wrote the orphanage has been murdered stop looking at me turn around thank you all I needed you to do I appreciate it okay we're gonna take that give me my souvenirs two pairs of shoes and some cheese I have been caught but can I just free everyone can we let everybody else out of jail oh my God yes Prison Breaks are viable here can't open that one okay where are my things evidence I'm gonna get cornered here and it's gonna be a little bit tough there's the belongings we need the evidence just as well got it crap I went the wrong way dodged easy okay now I'm right back to where I started it just goes right back out into the main city but it's two guards not a very hard Escape when you leave though it gets a bit more intense should we go say hi to all 19 orphans that still are there all all of them that are in there there's an Escape Route in there I mean I saw a couple people mention it and I kind of looked around for it but in the wall okay well then I'll go back relax like in the jail oh my God how the hell did I not know that okay well for normal escapes I would have gone the other way okay I'm taking the shoes I'm taking the cheese and I'll catch y'all later I'm gonna be honest I never knew that that was there and a potion we got shoes we got a potion we got cheese convenient little Escape Route can you take it every single time Al hold on so you can only use it one time I mean the standard Escape still isn't very hard I probably missed getting all my stuff back didn't I I can get my belongings but I can't get unless there's another window yeah I can't get the other one back the one that has the evidence please someone do something are they actually coming after me oh I think they found me we'll have to just run back in the regular way so yeah you'll have to if you want to go get out of here lame come on I made my cool Escape that's so lame men's Tam how are you thank you very much for four months that is unbelievably lame that they found me I'm going back for my stuff um but all things considered with this jail man what a great first impression it doesn't get much better than that there's just so much going on here that's good it's comfortable it's cozy it's it's not that hard to escape from even if you go the regular route get the [ __ ] out of the way God damn this Quest is starting to piss me off now sorry to get on my nerves like let me through the door rude all right we're gonna get out of here nice and easy limited effort guys I there's been like probably 20 people now that have mentioned it we are going to do Raven Rock I there is there is I have a list right here with all of them on there oh we're gonna be okay we'll get there okay I got you I'm an idiot I'm an idiot but don't worry well we're getting there we only have uh I think Falkreath and Raven wreck I think those are the last two we'll be all right although I am very bad at remembering things and almost always whenever there's something obvious right in front of me that I'm missing it just happens to be in a moment where I'm totally locked in and I can't see chat uh yelling at my dumb ass to do it like the Escape we had right there we should be free we'll retroactively do our scoring okay the guards here aren't trying to kill me immediately let's score let's score Riften jail all right very few negatives very few negatives one time automatic free exit spacious vibes what else is there to say it's got It's got everything every other prison has and more it really does souvenirs we got shoes potion and cheese uh this one's easy and I barely even have to think about it final score 9-1 rifton is the best Riften is the best jail and it's gonna win by a long shot nine one nine one nine one all right we got any problems with nine one 9.9 gotta save the 10 just in case no only none of them will be a ten right it's still jail it's still it it's still you know punishment and it's yeah it's in a warm climate too it's warmed down by rifton that's an easy one for me 9.1 okay Fall Creek hopefully this one's not on as much [ __ ] as it was last time I know a little bit about what we're gonna encounter here Skyrim and her people I guess you I have a feeling this is gonna be yep man what a cookie cutter layout but it has a rug in the middle of the floor this jail has a [ __ ] rug that's right [ __ ] Buckle the [ __ ] up there's a f i can't swear that much I'll get i'll get in trouble Vlog Channel viewers will get age restricted I can't do that to them but there is a rug and a table sconce it's got bread a bucket again decent but not bad but hey at least they didn't sprinkle around hay and pretend that it does something here but I mean this is the same layout this is the exact same jail as Dawn star and uh Morthal but I have a crush on morethaus yarl okay well let's break out of here well hold on let me get my bread broom salt pile there those are my souvenirs my souvenir game has been lacking but we've almost gone through all the jails and I'm kind of ready to finish this okay I think the guard might okay the guard is in fact upset with us but that's okay because we're gonna murder him foreign I don't think anyone hears this okay so guard is dead thank you sir give me your key we get all of our stuff back there is yes okay so the jail does have this which is cool it does have a werewolf which is awesome need something what do you mean need something come to gawk at the monster precisely no no actually that is the only reason I'm here is so that we can all Ogle at you a little girl is dead because of me believe me it wasn't lost control I tried to tell them but none of them believe me it's all on account of this blasters room we're done talking here I save children okay you killed one we are not the same I might be a bad person but you killed a kid I still haven't done that oh I should be sneaking whoops all right well now let's see what the Escape ride is like here staircase isn't filled with guards that's what Dawn star was like gonna be a guard right there but I mean screw it we're home for nosh what no way oh my gosh is Falkreath gonna come for the upset we're out that easy we're out they really don't give a [ __ ] that's so easy okay wow I mean that could be the upset of the day when you talk about the Woodland tribunal of Dawnstar Falkreath and Morthal right they were sort of we'll call them Woodland laid out prisons they're all three kind of on that Woodland preset so when we compare those three we have now on our list we have uh we gotta scroll up a little bit Dawnstar was a 5'8 mortal a 7-1 in order to make this work morethal is not higher than a 7-1 it's not higher than a seven one but I think it's lower than Falk wreath I think it's lower than Falkreath but hold on let's go through Fall Creek Fall Creek was a really quick one well grief you know in Fall Creek we had same layout as Morthal and Dawn star but with the werewolf slash child killer uh free exit free exit again this is my lived experience how I experience these jails that was a joke we got out scot-free which is extra points extra points if we can just walk out the guards don't care guards do not care at all good no I'll say fine now that's not the right word passable to okay Decor slash Vibes The Vibes aren't amazing there no they're certainly not bad so we'll go souvenirs who cares at this point uh and for a final score seven one Falkreath claims 7-1 mortal you drop down to a six eight and Dawn star falls from five eight to five six it was an upset that I did not see coming and I know I have a huge crush on yarl idrad ravencrone love you but unfortunately I have to be objective here I have to be objective I am I I gotta be honest I gotta be sure to seven seven that's too high I think a seven seven is way too high for the the Third and and this makes me want to rank them all down as a whole I mean they're carbon copies of the others like they were ordered out of one of those catalogs that you would get a house in in the 1800s right like Arthur Morgan was just going through and looking for the cookie cutter house or I guess that was John Marston who built a house that's that's how all three of those were built we'll we'll talk about it again when we get to the end because I think we only have one more left let me double check the whole list actually let's see we've done uh you've been to Dawn star valkyrieth Morthal Riften Windhelm yep okay Raven Rock is the last one no we're not we're not doing bruma uh we'll just do the vanilla even though I count Beyond Skyrim bruma as vanilla we'll just do the main vanilla special edition ones all right last one is in Raven Rock I've been to this jail very briefly and I want to say it's pretty hard to get out of should I go to jail for I'm getting real creative with it right now the bowl work oh man it's a decent nickname the bulwark not a hello hello whoa whoa hello uh whoa whoa whoa is this the damn we got 30 foot tall ceilings a fireplace and Escape Route extra wood for burning booze food we have a bed that's risen I mean fairly clean Stone this isn't just put together shoddily I mean this is really good work there's a lot of love and care we have a chair if we just want to you know chill out and sit ladies and gents this might be the upset of the century I mean I didn't have a fireplace in Riften I didn't have a fireplace in rifton I didn't have booze in Riften I didn't get it the other people did but I didn't rug here rug there two rugs didn't have a rug and Riften I don't think didn't that booze or ashyams or books look bones everybody remembers bones it was a really popular show granted we only have the first two seasons but cooked meal wine let's see what this Escape Route looks like and this is a built-in repeatable Escape Route I I'm in disbelief okay let's see where this goes covered in sand cool tunnels cold Cinder cave okay so there might be a little dungeon we have to go through don't have any of my stuff getting my stuff back shouldn't be too hard though punch a skeever this is not a part of the Escape Route is this not the most beautiful Prison Escape Route ever it's gorgeous look they made Halo infinite's map before Halo infinite was even concepted concepted [ __ ] how do I just use words that don't exist that was a funny comparison and I just fumbled it at the goal line I do that [ __ ] all the time it even has an alternate route I don't think I've ever been in here this place is huge oh Ash spawns okay so there are bad guys in here there's a giant friggin rewards chest this is the only jail that pays you to be a part of it oh okay time to go oh time to leave we've upset the prisoners of the sand time to go I mean a jail cell that is better than every single one we've seen before in terms of comfort and amenities provided it's got everything it has every single amenity that each jail cell before it had but better an awesome Escape Route repeatable Escape Route that can be used multiple times gorgeous visuals I mean I feel bad though what was that in what was that netch family doing underground are they okay are they gonna survive how long have they been there what are they doing underground I'm interested I want to know the lore behind that Niche family um but that's it that's all the jails we've gone through them all we've completed them all I'm gonna need a couple of seconds here chat to get the actual tier list ready so we can build out an official Skyrim jails tier list let me just close out of my game real quick to switch scenes right before I did that um and of course get our last reference slide done solstein or Raven Rock Raven Rock the bulwark Pros uh cool nickname cool nickname cozy thank you kind sir hey YouTube spacious hello hi I miss that who is that Moon sugar thank you so much I appreciate that thank you very much uh cool nickname cozy spacious all amenities all of them books booze food rugs top tier bed easy Escape Route Natchez beautiful room this is easy this is an automatic one final score it's no contest this is by far the best this is the only s tier on the entire list the best prison in Skyrim by far at a 9.5 [Music] Raven Rock the bulwark saving the best for last we I can't believe we saved the best for last I wasn't expecting it to be as good as it was uh there's just no comparison it's the best fireplace it's got everything it it literally has everything what right what more could you want from jail and it pays you I didn't even include that I didn't even include that treasure chest after the Escape it rewards you for escaping the jail it's by far the best one so I need a couple of minutes here Chad while I'm Oh wrong scene leave you guys here uh I need to make an actual tier list which I meant to do before stream and I totally forgot to do it so I'm gonna make it to your list real quick which means I have to get some screenshots of the uh jails in game which means I have to get a picture of all the Skyrim jails so give me two seconds because on the uesp The Unofficial Elder Scrolls Pages all the images I try to download will be web peas which means I have to change them all into jpegs which will take me just a couple of minutes oh my gosh this one was a jpeg [Music] thank you yeah webp format the amount of times I've done that or had to change webps to jpegs making a video disgusting oh we got our first webp [Music] yeah this will take me a sec I appreciate everybody's patience and I just appreciate you guys in general for hanging out uh would like to apologize sometimes during runs like this or when we're trying to record and whatnot I get a little impatient at times or just annoyed and whatnot have either the game not working out as much as I want or you know just dumb [ __ ] and whatnot but I'm always always always happy to have people hang out and interact with this my dumb videos and streams that's always Webby all right we got sitting to mine in there morethal jail it's taking me a little bit Mark how are you good to see you oh man they're all web peas [Music] all right we got the Morthal jail throw it into the tier list I've never done an actual tier list this should be fun it's really stupid and it totally works with the dumb videos we do [Music] foreign [Music] I hit random song of all my songs and got Skyrim music thank you okay solitude we're almost there do we have the writing supplies in Skyrim I guess we didn't get an ink well worry about an Inkwell later [Music] if we were to rate them based on how well they serve to rehabilitate uh I don't know how to rank them based on that I just know how to base them on my experience with them [Music] yeah this sucks all the pictures I all the pictures I have to download send through an image converter re-download then I can put them onto the tier list yeah we're rating on POG ability I almost have them although I need three more [Music] I knew I forgot to do this right before the stream as well or like right when I started the stream it hit me like [ __ ] I forgot to make the tier list Define pogbility pogbility means the ability to pug it's the ability to create pogs in chat foreign two more all right one more that one was a JPEG not a webp thankfully we're almost there this is gonna be so worth the wait foreign you must be logged in to create a new template [Music] if it deletes all the images I just uploaded I will be so upset I think it just did really did soft oh you stupid [ __ ] website unreal hold on gonna add them all back in now [Music] foreign must upload at least to it I did dude wait hold on hold on I got it I got it this should work this should work and it should be all of them yeah it's all ten are we good did it work all right okay okay we can finally we can finally do it Ace without damn time sorry that took forever Chad okay we have the tier list one two three four five six seven eight nine ten okay we've got all ten of the jails here we got all 10 of them and I can even bring this over and make this another tab or not but we can still look at it and we can go through the scores that we did give these jails and we can just run through them again White Run six three Solitude four nine Cigna eight three morethal six eight Dawnstar five to six Winterhold jail AKA The Chill 8.8 Windhelm jail three seven that was my least favorite Riften 9.1 Falkreath seven one Raven Rock Far and Away the best 9.5 uh all right so I think we should probably just start at the top we should probably just start at the top of the entire ranking and I think the only one by far my favorite easily the bulwark Raven Rock Number One S tier it's the only one that's gonna make it into the S tier by far the only one and Gimli I agree I agree Whiterun might actually see some upward momentum I think it's got some Mobility to climb the ranks a tad but I think the bulwark has to be asked here based on how we've been how we've been ranking them all so far hello bulu how are you uh the chill I think the chill has to fall into the highest level of a tier I don't remember exactly what we ranked the others did we rank the chill the chill came in at number two right it had to have or did we give Riften a higher score yeah we give we gave Riften a higher score than the chill which I guess makes sense and I think I still would if given the opportunity to do it again that's Rift in jail right here so if it's closer to it then it's higher ranked so we've got the bulwark number one Riften and then we've got the chill I think this is the sna tier these three are certainly the best absolutely thank you kind sir sitting a mine do I oh gosh does Sydney mine land in eight here or should send a mine oh what did I do what scene are we on oh my bad my bad I forgot on that window it has to be on uh a different View that scene is completely wrong I totally [ __ ] that up my bad uh is is B too low for sin to mine or should it be low a tier it could be I feel like sitting to mine is significant enough to where it should be the star player and whatever tier it's in so I see I see sin to mine as a solid B tier and it should oh my God I got it I got it here's how the list is gonna go okay we need we're gonna add in one more row below F tier we're gonna give sin to mind B tier on its own then we're gonna take where's Whiterun which one is a white run White Run in seat here it belongs in C tier I'm going to take the three cookie cutters and honestly they're they're hard to tell about apart even from this angle the Falk wreath number one of the cookie cutters Morthal number two of the cookie cutters Dawn star number three the cookie cutters in D tier as well below all of the cookie cutters is Solitude and then an F tier bam we got Windhelm because I think we need to we need to emphasize that with these three there is a large gap and then there's all of these kind of fighting for position I respect a lot about what Falkreath and all these were doing and maybe the score I gave it didn't reflect but Whiterun what seemed to be the basic prison option in Whiterun it started to get a lot of mobility and a lot of momentum moving forward and it started to climb the ranks a tad and I think the final reflection of Whiterun starting to climb the ranks has to put it slightly above the cookie cutter nonsense these all have to come down a tear because they're all similar maybe I'm being harsh to solitude I could cease I could see somebody taking issue with my ranking of Solitude but this section I think is totally totally fair d-tier is all drunk tanks it kind of is that's what they all look like what kind sir cannot believe it's been three months already LOL sweet potato thank you so much for the tier one and thank you for the last three months Max gray I'm sorry I missed it but thank you for the tier one I really appreciate that let me check the alerts just to make sure I haven't missed anything I I think I have for sure because I was doing a whole lot of talking let me just go through um because I can filter them out Moon Checker I did get that one I don't know if I got that one but minced ham thank you so much for the prime I'm sorry I missed that Ashby Hall this was an hour ago and I missed it but thank you so much for the prime Capital gaptop low you gave me I thought you gave a thousand bits earlier and everything appreciate that I remember calling it out and I remember saying anything but I'm thanking you again right now um okay so we're done here Quest complete did I get the ink well I mean are we gonna are we gonna log back into the game to grab an Inkwell we came here and we got done what we needed to do I don't think that the Thieves Guild is going to complain anymore all right I'm not fetch question the question is complete on that Quest I need to close out a lot of my internet tabs though I have a ton of them too many okay here's the User submitted Quest okay come back to the quest so there's one more Quest that we're gonna do and we're gonna do it today because we got done in decent time and it's really stupid it's really dumb I don't know how long it's gonna take thank you kindness let me see you use it nice content working here hold on it doesn't show that in chat but thank you so much random Hunter is that what that said I'm so sorry usually I see those alerts in chat I don't even think twitch shows them I need to fix that but I appreciate that thank you so much uh for some reason this scene doesn't show the same uh window as it should have been uh but this one is easy it was suggested by goat unicorn and the entire Quest is to build a fort out of dropped items and it it must have a roof and we must fit inside of it I don't think it's possible but we're gonna try it I just think it'll be fun to try for the video why not see if it works I have a strategy we're gonna use hay bales we're gonna try and build it with hay bales I think I know what we have to do and I think it could work I'm not going out to collect all these items individually by the way we're using console commands and we're just gonna give ourselves the stuff and try to like stack it all together Dwemer struts foreign this whole thing has been for shits and giggles well we have to find a flat plot of land first you missed Raven Rock we did the entire tier list we're moving on from the tier list but Raven Rock was asked here it was the number one she'd be strutting till I dwember she strutting my Dwemer till I Falkreath should I tweet that right now do you think it would get a lot of likes if it doesn't the one with the bush which one had a bush I kept seeing people talk about a bush no but do it anyway no I can't be having it bomb now guys I take my Twitter analytics really seriously I joke but there has been one or two times where after I posted something I was like actually that was lame I'm gonna delete this I'm getting this off the internet right now so people start you know so people don't start thinking I'm not funny is it cheating if I use some of the supporting structure of this house I feel like it would be get rid of the rain we need a good flat plot of land this looks nice yeah I think this works yeah the quest is to make a house out of items all the hay piles are under furniture I don't know why though how do we get hay what's it called is it called straw foreign no if it's not Elder Scrolls related don't even bother tweeting it I thought it was hay bale I can only search under one word though and bail doesn't pop anything up it's called straw that's what I thought ah there we go okay it worked uh oh I don't want that many okay okay this is gonna be really hard isn't it nearly impossible I'm gonna have to have walking speed on the whole time but like they already are starting to build like an angle where I just don't think they'll be stackable but straw has to be the best option towards stacking objects what if we do it like bricks we offset them we go three straw no oh man they're so bouncy they're like way too bouncy they go under the ground a little bit they're not considerate I think we just need to make a huge pile of them a massive pile of straw this could be our starting base let's just get them all in one little spot here damn I mean they seemed like the perfect building block item see we can't have that having one move that much just by touching the other straw it just collapsed the whole pile if anybody asks what we're doing right now tell them something completely different only give people wrong answers if they ever ask what we're doing we're not building a house where uh uh we're creating a new straw God okay saturation chill damn shit's bright yeah what other items could be used like are there any items that are just blocks Stone with the with the Hearthfire expansion aren't there stone blocks help Stone Stone beds Stone chairs can't find any miscellaneous items though quarried stone oh it's clumpy still let's just see what it looks like quarried stone uh you're right it's Lumpy I'm saying it would be much bigger okay Cory Stone won't work maybe there's an item we can craft solid Dwemer metal I feel like it's not big enough I need something kind of big no I just need to walk around town and get some inspiration let's just look at items and try to see hot Bowl this might not be too bad like upside down it just won't be very stable like if I wanted to put something on top of this bowl the Bowl's moving see you want to stand up these boots it's not happening cheese isn't bad if I had full cheese wheels it's not terrible so for the roof I was gonna use uh stabs staves I was gonna put a bunch of like electric staffs go across the top with them although if I have a staff foreign we'll take this ebony staff for example if I drop it if I pick it up just go horizontal no it goes vertical so in order to place it on the roof I'd have to swing this thing around and try to lay it down with Force the odds of Me Knocking over whatever structure I've built are so insanely High there's almost no chance of it working but like this kind of cheese makes a somewhat decent base in order to build it high enough for me to survive in It's gotta be about all right I'm gonna try it with cheese although I think we might want to build it's got to be really flat oh right here we could probably build our house right here this looks flat enough more than enough room foreign like this just like this that's the problem though with this we move one we move them all get the actually taking my cheese hi you accidentally mislaid this dear she took my cheese no get the get out of here leave you're gone get out of it don't don't know this is my foundation in my house silence leave this dimension I believe you may have left this here no Ty Pennington is back all right we're not doing home makeovers anymore we're doing well I guess this is this is a home construction we're building it from straight get back here see she already [ __ ] up my mojo wow didn't even have to move that one into place I'm a little bit nervous though the cheese seems to want to always lean One Direction so I'm walking in from here that's certainly wide enough to walk in okay there will be quick saving quite a lot as I go through this sorry Chad I'm a little locked in right now damn foreign just a little bit too tall to walk under the gate to walk under my roof I'm just a tiny bit too tall but I think that the staff could work now the problem is going to be getting cheese on top of cheese it looks like it'll kind of level itself out though good placement yeah the cheese wheels are just the best they naturally fall into a decent you know orientation very flat like it's just it's it's like it was meant to be that one just stuck there easy careful we got this nice another one bring it over this way oh don't like that I don't like that adjustment let's bring it back everybody get in line it's all good now I know that quick saving won't do anything because when I quick load much like the interior design Quest the cheese wheels will probably explode and go everywhere as soon as I load my save so I probably only have one chance at this yeah this is going to take a little bit I don't know why I set this up like this though where I'm forced to put one in between two of them we can't be setting ourselves up like that bad throw that's just come on that's bad that's really bad contract work there you go check our Dimensions again oh I mean with a roof I certainly fit in here foreign let's do one more layer how many cheese wheels is it per layer one two three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven so by the time I'm done this will be 33 cheese wheels in total stacked in an orderly fashion I don't like this one it's like the leaning tower of chiza it must have heard my insult because it decided to correct itself it's an intelligent machine learning cheese based Tower careful too much movement get back in line Soldier nice beautiful we're not too bad this one's a little bit shaky but it should work straighten out Latin layer down automatic that was such a good lay eyeball it I hit down careful adjust for the nice there was a little bit of shaking there the foundation wasn't as solid on that one might have to take a look over at 5e make sure that they're following the procedures whoa hey mind company policy now way too eager that's ridiculous that's such bad form you're lucky it's passable would barely get past code review like Daisy easy come on guys you're getting lackadaisical everyone's taking their job lightly this isn't a joke don't give me attitude like that stop what is that move where did you learn this from hmm just because your friends think it's cool doesn't mean it is what a what a beautiful Cheese Brick okay now getting up to the fourth level I think things are going to get a little sketchy over here fourth level could be tough because our uh this is where the little tiny mistakes we've made along the way will start to compound themselves very nice very nice that was like a golf swing butter easy peasy more cheese I'm in a good little rhythm right now though I really want to be able to do it with the full-sized character I don't want to have to resort to shrinking the character scale how many cheese levels will I need four probably eight I probably need to build two times after I build this next level I probably have to do it again which might be impossible nice so what do you do for a living um I stack of virtual cheese yes uh I build homes out of cheese in an imaginary fantasy world the game is about cheese no no not not really what I do is about cheese I guess that's all right this will edit into a fun Montage of speed cheese building it's gonna be kind of satisfying to watch this in like 1 000 times speed to see the cheese tower be built I should have taken a picture a screenshot from the same angle of the cheese tower at every phase but no okay this corner is bothering me really good it's turning out really well oh God can we get a fifth level of cheese let's do it okay probably have to do yeah three or four layers of cheese is stacked very good very good look at it go I mean it looks pretty like aside from you know a few holes in the wall it looks really solid I need to stop accepting challenges in this game based off of its physics though if this Tower collapses we're ending the challenge and I'm putting it in the video and we'll go with three out of five failed challenges very nice what I don't want to do is put one on from a high level and then sort of the weight and the bounciness of it Landing really takes the tower and you know topples it but I'm not noticing a whole lot of wobbling when I throw a new piece of cheese on it doesn't seem like the tower it's going on to is affected all that much all right fine I can have one cheese snack the beauty of this is that if there's a really bad storm and you're afraid you might lose your house in the storm you could just eat the entire house before the storm will ever hit or melted into a nice fondue I mean that's just beautiful no shake we're on level five and there's still limited Shake every time we set down a piece of cheese I'm just worried that the game's gonna crash whoa there's an invisible wall here somewhere there's an invisible wall right by me something that the cheese kind of wants to clip onto done level five complete I'm not even gonna think twice about it we're just gonna move into level six we seem to have a really good momentum here we're moving at a good pace I think I can get two more levels on there I think I can take it to level seven I don't know about eight it seems like Eight's gonna be the magic number though for our character's height lots of wobbling but not enough for me to be that concerned although as soon as I start to get concerned it's probably when this whole experiment dies another layer of cheese can he place it no he's going to Audible and pull offers probably you could call oh and he corrects with just a beautiful lay of the cheese incredible you can barely even see the spaces between them they're like a fine set of teeth raise the thin margins of error we're doing all right to fall lift in a correction can he find it he has he's found it again this incredible feat of endurance and patience continues oh just fantastic I mean we shouldn't be surprised at this point but hey a little bit too much speed okay okay no back it up bring it down forward type little tap I don't like it I don't like it that was a risky lift so the lift is a little risky because depending on the angle of the cheese like let's say that the cheese was angled like this like I'm looking at the cheese and it's angled this way going down when I grab it the cheese is gonna automatically try and pull towards me and level out so if I have it at a weird angle and I try to lift it up the top level of cheese it's possible I get it at an angle where it pulls towards me and pulls the Tower with it okay we have cheese making up its own mind I'm so [ __ ] locked in right now oh that was beautiful this second one on the Southern Wall is the most impressive Tower it's wobbling right now though I'm not a fan of that wobble but lead is just gorgeous this one's problematic oh God oh man I almost lost it too much too much too much wobble this one's out of control oh okay if I crouch will I get under uh I don't know if I'll get under man it's so close it's so close it probably needs two more levels of cheese shall we keep going up let's keep going up let's build it I'm probably not gonna be able to put a roof on it anyway so we might as well see how far we can go foreign two three four five six seven this is row seven I did say before that I thought eight would probably be what we need and it looks like eight is the number I think I can definitely build two more layers of cheese can't quit now we're getting there it's all right all that cheese movement where it looks like it's moving on its own it's just standard cheese physics I'd explain it to you all but you'll need a degree in mysticism there we go had to fix that one breathe it's like disarming a bomb but far less impressive it'd be funny if there was somebody watching the stream right now who actually has disarmed a bomb like wow this is really impressive I've never done anything as cool as stack cheese like that we got any bomb defusal specialists in chat shout out to all the bomb defusal specialists in chat oh my God they're swaying they're swaying I don't like it oh man it's actually just angled it's going backwards the more we build up thank you kind sir you'd need a bomb defusal specialist after eating that much cheese you would they'd have to get all up in there and take a look at the damage cut the red wire no the red wire row seven is complete look at this one this one actually looks like a person right can't you kind of see it the way it goes up this is where their torso starts there's their head this is their little alien body oh we can fit this is it we fit we're not clearing it can we get under yeah I think we can get under it or we're gonna go for it we're gonna go for the roof okay I want uh we're gonna go with the staff of Mage Light it doesn't have a ton of spin to it it's gonna naturally Orient itself to go vertical so we just we just have to come up with a good strategy of laying it on top of the cheese but if we lift up we can't really rotate it running around doesn't help a whole lot just hard to get it horizontal like we want so we would go like this and then we'll tap the cheese it'll just too much layout go back to being flat holy dick get up foreign we got one Mage Light secured on the target second staff of magelight coming in now it'll be nice and slow but there's an invisible hitbox on the cheese the invisible cheese hit box might save the day I don't know if you guys are seeing that the way I am but as we strain this bad boy out As We Lay It Down you'll notice it starts to orient itself and lay flat as we go down this way right you see that as it gets towards the cheese so bam we'll just we are not we're not going to be doing that was close no no no oh oh we had it we had it well you know what [ __ ] the haters you know what I say I say that this little staff no don't don't dunk down the other wall please please no no wait wait wait wait wait no stop everyone please you can't be doing this to me we're doing this the wrong okay this one pile of cheese is my home if you think about it I'm fully surrounded by Four Walls of God damn it I really stink at these challenges uh what happens if I quit yep see I quick load and the wall [ __ ] dies unbelievable unbelievable I don't think it's possible to build a whole house with uh actual loose objects in the game but it was worth trying what about a little two cheese wheel High house for the bit well actually this little corner is useless if you think about it that little corner is not needed but look it works there there's a roof over my head you know what the the sky is my roof what a mammoth Pelt actually work I don't think there are Mammoth pelts foreign player dot place at me I had the whole thing typed in and hit the wrong damn button 5ef 6c yeah see the bear pelt's not big enough it's also probably really heavy I bet if I lay it on top of the cheese all right lay it on top of the cheese I guess it could work but I should have I should have built the house like two cheese wide I probably can you set scale the Pelt foreign no I don't think you can I wish maybe I gotta drop it again excuse me sorry about that yeah I can't set scale to Pelt werewolf I don't know if there's a werewolf Pelt is there oh there is werewolf Pelt it's pretty big hold on hold on wait a minute wait a minute we might be in business here hear me out we gotta go corner to corner werewolf Pelt is on the corner that means this little corner has a roof and by rule if I am small enough to be underneath the Pelt no no no don't hit the Pelt why does my hitbox have to hit the Pelt uh my hip box still hits it all it knocks it over damn it ah what if you hold the Pelt above your head I think I just have to accept a loss on this one it's gonna be too hard if I had you know 20 hours to dedicate to cheese stacking Maybe but it is a really funny visual right like [ __ ] sake caps lock is on there we go sorry I I yell at the console every single time I can't get into work like it's a really funny visual for sure like right here that's a pretty funny shot it is a cheese house but I just can't resolve the player's hitbox we gave it a fair shot all of mine all of the cheese is now mine this is my city My Town my people all right that was underwhelming and disappointing but it is what it is it worked out for the most part we had fun while going on these adventures together did we not chat I enjoyed it I had fun did you have fun I did what matters the only thing that matters is if I had fun because uh well if I have fun then usually the video recording turns out a little bit better but that was really fun that experience was definitely unique uh if people do enjoy this video if people like how it turns out and they would like to do it to uh do more of it that I'm absolutely down uh really you know I'll kind of put this video out see if people enjoy it and what we did and if they want to do it again I'll either make a new community post or dive back into that same thread from before uh space llama I think I forgot to thank you but I do remember your message but thank you for the prime that was the last one I missed Let's uh send today's stream over to somebody who is currently streaming who is streaming snam streaming kiwo streaming uh although I'm gonna send you over oh I'm so glad they are live right now uh I'm gonna send you over to Thomas middleditch they are currently playing uh Red Dead they're doing Red Dead role play if you're not sure who Thomas middleditch is Thomas middleditch is the lead actor in Silicon Valley it's a small little Indie program not sure if anyone's ever heard of the show before but they've been doing a ton of Red Dead streaming which I just think is super cool uh he's also been doing you know just genuine YouTube uploads for fun but remember when you go over there to be kind to be respectful um it's a role play stream so you know don't like spam the chat over and over it's it's pretty cool and he is you know like an actor actor so when he's doing it he's pretty he's pretty dedicated to the character also watch Silicon Valley it's a great show uh thank you all again appreciate it I'm gonna send you over there have a good week I'll probably see you again on Wednesday but I want to get ahead on this video so I'll see you soon

Channel: Diet Joov

Views: 231,474

Keywords: games, twitch, joov, skyrim, joov skyrim

Id: ijTc5e4bW6Y

Length: 232min 54sec (13974 seconds)

Published: Fri Apr 07 2023