“Men always use that – don’t they? –
as their defining compliment. ‘She's a cool girl.’” She’s not like other girls. She’s… a cool girl. “Hey, you want to go upstairs
and watch Sports Center?” In her 2012 bestseller “Gone Girl,”
Gillian Flynn gave this trope a name and proceeded to savagely
tear it to pieces… “Cool girl is hot. Cool girl is game. Cool girl is fun.” If we look at cool girls onscreen –
and at celebrities who often play this persona for the public –
we can identify the specific elements that make up this character’s DNA:
She’s one of the guys. She has a passion for
cars, sports, or other stereotypically masculine activities: “That's weird. I just wouldn't peg
you for mechanical.” “Well, you know,
I don't really broadcast it. Guys don't like it when you know
more about cars than they do.” The cool girl reflects
the male protagonist’s interests: “She likes what he likes. If he likes girls gone wild, she's a mall babe who talks football
and endures buffalo wings at Hooters.” She’s fun-loving, raunchy,
and uninhibited. She likes junk food and beer:
“C’mooon, not my f-[BLEEP] beer.” “Uh, that’s an expert
beer tasting technique.” This bro-y temperament is packaged
in an effortlessly hot female form. “By the way, you look very
fit and skinny yourself---” “Really?” “—But you said, ‘I’m tired of staying
skinny in Hollywood.’” “That feels great cause
I just ate a philly cheesesteak.” She’s easygoing, and never gets angry:
“There was no look. She couldn't have been cooler. Sloan is not like other girls.” Most saliently, the Cool Girl isn’t
a real girl. She’s a myth created by men, perpetuated by women
pretending to be her. So, here’s our Take on what
the Cool Girl represents in our culture, and how she's evolved in the years
since “Gone Girl” called her out. This video is brought
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below to sign up now. “A chick who can really
hang with the guys.” “That is the best!” “A chick who's like super-hot, but then like, loves Xbox, down for pizza.” The problem with the Cool Girl fiction
is that it’s a male fantasy. “She drinks Scotch?” “I love a Scotch that's old enough
to order its own Scotch.” “Can quote obscure lines
from “Ghostbusters?” The woman not only has to look
exactly as the guy wants her to – she also has to be exactly as
he wants her to be on the inside. “Gone Girl” investigates
the toxic fallout of women feeling they have to perform this fantasy. “Nick loved a girl I was
pretending to be. ‘Cool girl.” Significantly, the movie’s iconic
“cool girl” monologue plays out over a montage of Amy orchestrating
her plot to frame Nick for her disappearance. So, it's implying
that all the years of impersonating the cool girl are what made
Amy into this sociopath. She's determined to destroy the guy
she spent so much time pretending for and now resents as a result: “I wax-stripped my
[BLEEP] raw. I drank canned beer watching
Adam Sandler movies. I ate cold pizza and
remained a size two.” From this, we can see that
“the cool girl” act has a time limit. The smoke-and-mirrors can’t endure
through a real long-term relationship – as it requires a lifetime of
suppressing your authentic self. Jezebel’s Tracy Moore argues that being
the cool girl is a phase many women go through in young adulthood. But according to Gone Girl, when the Cool Girl gets tired
of faking it and decides to express her individuality,
her man will just ditch her for a newer model of the trope: “And found himself a newer,
younger, bouncier Cool Girl.” The movie doesn’t suggest
Nick is the only one to blame for this behavior, though –
he’s never had to learn how to accommodate a woman
with her own mind in his life. With all this play-acting,
the couple never got the chance to really know each other. “You don't know if she has friends,
you don't know what she does all day… And you don't know
your wife's blood type.” “Sure you all are married?” Flynn took inspiration
for her commentary from the 1998 rom-com
“There’s Something About Mary.” She explained that the character Mary
“looks like Cameron Diaz, but she’s also a doctor,
and she also loooves hamburgers, and she starts out playing
golf in the morning... And I thought, ‘Wow, that’s a cool girl!’ And then I thought, ‘Oh, right. She’s been invented by guys.’” “I want a guy who can play 36 holes
and still have enough energy to take me and Warren
to a ball game and eat hot dogs. I'm talking sausage hot dogs, beer. Not light beer, but beer.” The whole premise of the film is how
wild Mary drives every man she meets – and that makes sense when you consider
this woman is simply a bundle of male fantasies with a pretty face:
“You know, I don't think that they have enough meats on sticks.” The Cool Girl was around
in our culture for a long time
before Flynn gave her a name. Countless shows and movies
through the decades have used a cool girl to be the guy’s dream –
look at Donna in “That 70s Show,” a beautiful spin on one of the guys:
“Hey, remember when we were eight and I beat you at wrestling? That was fun.” In 2005, “How I Met Your Mother” opened
with Ted falling head over heels for Robin – the perfect girl
who only wants something casual: “I mean, the most I can handle
right now is something casual.” In 2004, “Lost’s” Kate played
by Evangeline Lilly embodied the beautiful tomboy who
unintentionally enchanted the two most handsome males on the Island. “I never wore pink.” 2007’s “Transformers” gave us one
of the most perfect examples of the trope in Megan Fox’s Mikaela: “Whoa, nice headers. You've got
a high-rise double-pump carburetor. That's pretty impressive, Sam.” This easy, timeless pairing of hot girl
and hot car might also remind us of Cindy Crawford’s iconic
1992 Pepsi commercial, which began with her driving up
in a sick ride to a dusty gas station. Starting in 2010 in the MCU,
Black Widow became beloved in a male-heavy space by looking
like Scarlett Johansson while being truly “one of the guys,” “We're still friends, right?” “Depends on how hard you hit me.” She offers a supportive presence
in the other Avengers’ lives without outshining them. Even in a movie as self-aware as Deadpool, the love interest
Vanessa is really just the Cool Girl trope to a T: “Jesus Christ, it's like
I made you in a computer!” In most onscreen depictions,
female viewers aren’t really supposed to identify with the Mary –
our audience surrogate is the male protagonist, and we view
this woman through his gaze. So, far from being empowering
to women, this character (who attracts every man for miles without trying to,
who eats whatever she wants and stays effortlessly thin)
sets a new impossible standard. “We ate like a whole pizza and then
I stopped at McDonalds and got a double quarter pounder. Then, I passed out from a food coma.” To this day, numerous celebrities
project this persona in public: “Best video game ever created?” “Halo.” “Best video game console ever created?” “Xbox.” The actual cool girl
may be a phantom, but she comes to life because
women watch the Mary's onscreen and try to emulate her. The cool girl
in real life is as “Gone Girl” puts it, “a woman who has watched
too many movies written by socially awkward men who’d
like to believe that this kind of woman exists and might kiss them.” “Well, I know he's a little different,
but that's what I like about him. He dresses like a complete dork. He chews with his mouth open.” The irony of the cool girl is
that a big part of her act is not caring, not trying, not needing the man. But performing the Cool Girl persona is an extremely demanding effort. Of course, it’s important to note that men don’t have a monopoly on
enjoying food or sports – many women are genuinely passionate
about traditionally male activities, and this doesn’t have to be
some kind of calculated act. “Whatever you think about the whole
superhero movie genre, at least people are now reading
the source material.” “I cannot believe that
you read comic books. I mean, you're a girl.” A number of women who come off as
cool girls can be positive role models. Obviously, it’s great to see women
showing off their sassy wit or embracing a goofy, unpolished,
no-filter approach. But, ultimately, none of these things matter
unless the girl is supremely beautiful because the cool girl’s true defining
quality is, in Flynn’s words, that she’s “above all hot.” We can see this dynamic illustrated in “Miss Congeniality.” FBI agent Gracie starts out with all of the Cool Girl’s qualities,
but this just makes her the butt of jokes and insults
from her male coworkers: “Or is it like, a woman thing?” “Don't kid yourself. Nobody thinks of you that way.” It’s only after her makeover –
when she’s revealed to be gorgeous – that her quirky, masculine characteristics
are received as charming: “After we write up our reports
and you get all ugly again... maybe we could have dinner?” So, without this prerequisite of hotness,
being a badass or a tomboy will not be viewed as cool at all. Narratives onscreen use the cool girl to put down another type of woman
who’s more uptight, classically feminine,
or who cares too much. “Black Swan’s” fun, sensual Lily makes
repressed good girl Nina feel her lifetime of diligent work
as a ballerina counts for nothing. “Watch the way she moves. Imprecise but effortless. She’s not faking it.” In “Forgetting Sarah Marshall,”
impulsive, free-spirited Rachel (also played by cool girl Mila Kunis)
is framed as an obvious step-up from cold and fame-obsessed Sarah: “Okay, I'm gonna go get
us another round.” “I'll grab it. It's no big deal.” “Peter, you don't have to dote on me. I'm not that type of girl.” In “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days,”
Andie drives a guy away for her magazine article by pretending to be
the uncool girl – an ultra-feminine, hyper-sensitive, needy woman: “I used Photoshop at work today
to composite our faces together to see what our kids would look like.” But the irony is that Andie still can't
help making him fall for her because she actually is a bonafide
cool girl who loves the Knicks and doesn’t watch what she eats. “Why do they always forget my bacon?” The movie makes a grotesque joke
out of Andie’s fake girly behavior (which she models after
the unlucky-in-love Michelle character), “I'm going to limit myself
to doing everything girls do wrong in relationships. Basically,
everything we know guys hate. I'll be clingy, needy…” “Be touchy-feely.” but it never questions why men should
be so automatically put off by a woman who's not effortlessly detached
and undemanding: “Where's the sexy, cool, fun, smart,
beautiful Andie that I knew?” We also saw this dynamic at play
in the cultural response to the 2013 Oscars. After the ceremony,
Best Supporting Actress winner Anne Hathaway was much maligned
for her perky earnestness, “It came true.” while Best Actress winner Jennifer Lawrence was the belle
of the ball after tripping up the stairs and being characteristically unedited. “What went through my mind
when I fell down? Uh… a bad word that I can’t say that starts with F.” Yet, while Hathaway’s persona may have
struck some viewers as performative, both these women were playing
a part on Oscar night. “And then I came to the Oscars. I’m sorry, I did a shot before…” So, there’s an inherent misogyny
in setting up the cool girl as somehow superior to another “kind” of woman. Lauding her for being
“not like the other girls” elevates stereotypically male qualities
over female ones. As Anne Helen Petersen writes,
“They’re basically dudes masquerading in beautiful women’s bodies.” This is played up in Amy Schumer’s “A Chick Who Can Hang,”
where the men’s enthusiasm for cool girls is really part
of their repressed homoerotic desire. “There’s this chick
at my office right now. I can talk to her about Muay Thai. Plus, she's got just like a little bit of stubble.” The cool girl may appear
superficially edgy, but she’s only cool so long as she’s comforting –
not challenging -- to men. In the “Family Guy” episode
“Mr. and Mrs. Stewie,” Stewie meets his female alter-ego
and falls madly in love: “What's this on your
Etch-A-Sketch?” “Oh, those are some advanced
mathematical formulas I've just been tinkering with.” “You're kidding? I do that, too.” But, his infatuation wears off as
he realizes she’s more evil than he is. “Strong women always turn out
to be nightmares. Like Joan of Arc.” “Hey, guys, I'm not like other girls. I kill people and burp and watch so much porn. Isn't that cool?” This captures the idea that the
cool girl is only desirable as long as she stays on her guy’s level
and doesn’t surpass him either in aptitude or passion. She can’t
be too intense about anything. On “Friends,” Ross is drawn
to his new girlfriend Bonnie because she’s so liberated and cool: “So, your first sexual experience
was with a woman?” “It was my best friend, Ruth. And we got drunk on that hard cider. And then suddenly,
we were making out.” -- but when she expresses
her alternative spirit in a way that
doesn’t turn him on, Ross is horrified
and immediately loses interest: “She doesn't look that bad.” “You can see the moonlight bouncing off her head!” Petersen describes how
60s and 70s cool girl Jane Fonda experienced an intense backlash when
she started getting too serious about activism and
protesting the Vietnam War. While Black Widow is humble
enough for “Avengers” fans, “Captain Marvel” was trolled
for emphasizing that its female lead was stronger than all the other heroes,
and she very much knew it. “I have nothing to prove to you.” Movements like Gamergate prove that
women who bring too “female” a perspective to pursuits like tech or
gaming are emphatically discouraged. In light of the way
our culture eviscerates uncool girls, it’s easy to see why
it’s so tempting for women to put
on the Cool Girl persona, even a little bit. But this doesn’t
actually get them very far. In “Bridesmaids,” Annie adopts this part
to make herself more attractive to Ted. “I'm not like other girls. I'm not like,
‘Be my boyfriend!’ Unless you were like, ‘Yeah!’ Then I'd be like, ‘Maybe.’” But the act just leaves her
feeling disempowered. “You slept over.” “I did.” “I thought we had a rule against that.” Most significantly, while being
the cool girl may help you get by in the short-term, it gets in the way
of the long game of putting women, in general, on equal footing with men. As Sarah Ditum puts it, “The Cool Girl doesn’t even suggest
there’s anything wrong with the man-woman hierarchy
as it stands. All the Cool Girl demands is that she be seen as an exception.” One of the most startling lines in Flynn’s Gone Girl monologue is:
“Go ahead, shit on me. I don’t mind. I’m the Cool Girl.” This highlights the complete
passivity of this type. “Well, maybe you should sit in my lap.” “Why?” “Well, I have the only seat belt here. You know, safety first.” “Yeah, all right.” A requirement of this persona
is never getting angry, “Cool girl never gets
angry at her man. She only smiles in a chagrined,
loving manner.” which means she never tries
to change anything. Flynn’s critique led to a backlash that
made the “stock” cool girl appear a little too obviously contrived: “And looks like your
distributor cap’s a little loose.” After J-Law was criticized for behavior
that came across as a running shtick, “Right now, I’m thinking about
buffalo wings, chicken wings, a load of potato skins. I could keep going,” she eventually seemed
to mature out of this act. Yet, the demise of this blatant version
of the trope doesn’t mean we should declare the death of the cool girl –
she’s just evolving, being updated for a new era. Numerous celebrities
on social media show the “cool girl” settling down
into married life, as they play the “cool wife”
through fun exchanges or pranks with their famous significant others. “Bad Moms” (another example starring Mila Kunis)
presents a “cool mom” type who is super-hot, even when she’s
supposed to be a mess, and relatable because she speaks out
about how hard it is to be a mom, “I screwed up my daughter's first day
at soccer and I hand-searched my son's poo for a pen cap.” (Oh, and drinks… a lot). Naturally, she’s juxtaposed
with a too-poised, anti-cool-mom we’re supposed to look down on
for her obsessive quest for perfection. Overall, though, the persona appears
to be changing for the better. More recent iterations of the Cool Girl
largely depart from her traditionally passive
and submissive roots. Today’s cool girls freely speak
their minds about things that matter. “He called John a boring musician
and 'his filthy-mouthed wife.' Which those two things are true. John is boring. I do have a filthy mouth." [chuckles] Perhaps what’s most promising is
that many of today’s examples seem to be performing coolness
to appeal to women, as well as men. “In my mind, equality isn't possible
because men and women aren't equal. Women are better. HA!” But the total liberation of the cool girl
will only come when she stops trying to get by in a man’s world,
and start working towards a world where women are free to be
whoever they want to be… and this is considered cool. “You have a right to be here and you have a right to rise up
through the ranks and run this town.” This video is sponsored by Skillshare –
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