The Chris Chan Family Tree

the world's most interesting person sits in his bedroom surrounded so tightly by piles of toys and games that he hasn't much room to move as he leans back oblivious to his parents arguing downstairs and to the smell of his mother's compulsive hoarding seeping through the floor he thinks of how exceptional and amazing he is he's been embraced by luck and blessed by the Divine since his birth exalted by a Godly animatron bear he had his very name changed as a child a right reserved exclusively for the great prophets and religious leaders of the past the bear must have recognized the greatness in him like when he won the Sonic the Hedgehog sweep Stakes at 11 years old and it's not surprising why the reasons why he is so strong and smart and is such an amazing artist app plain to him his father was a great engine engineer descended from the powerful and ancient Cherokee People his mother is a Queen by right descended directly from Anne Belin Queen of England it was inevitable that their offspring would be greater than all other human beings and while he singlehandedly fights a Litany of evil villains over the Internet day by day and caught a NeverEnding supply of online galp Pals his drawings have literally come to life his son his friends his lovers all really exist in an alternate universe which he can visit he is a God but to the rest of us we closed-minded unbelievers we who watch Chris unsure of the attraction we who are kept fascinated by the bizarre we see a man who has lived a life surrounded by fiction and Fantasies a self-imposed Truman and while we watch The Lies We try to assertain the truth something which becomes increasingly complex the closer we get to the source we see differently we see that his family history his parents' stories his love life his children are all a well of delusion though we can't deny that some of his tales May yet contain shreds of Truth seeking answers we explore the family history of the world's most documented human being Christian Western Chandler this means his Heritage and relationships both real and fictional using what has to be the strangest family tree ever made we can finally see in one place the history of the great houses of Chandler and of Weston and of sonichu our chart TR races Chris's Heritage back to his great great grandparents but we are going to look back further finding some fascinating facts about his Heritage and answering the tough family questions and by the almighty magic powers of the bear conductor Leonard bin we will break the boundaries of reality and reason and analyze his believed marriages to fictional characters as well as his family lineage through his son sonichu now this chart is available on the lolcow designs store and you can find the link in the description given how poorly the channelers knew Their Own Story it's surprising how well-maintained the family history actually is you can see that this poster goes back as far as Chris's great great grandparents and that almost all of them have their full names birth and death years additionally we almost have a comprehensive list of his great great great that is his third great R grandparents as well though in and of itself it's just a list of names and years but fascinating all the same to think that the oldest person on this chart was born in 1829 so we're looking almost as far back as the Napoleonic era Heritage today we are talking about ancestry it's a good thing that we're breaking down his Heritage too because looking at these histories will answer three big claims was his mother Barbara descended from Anne bin Queen of England were the channelers descended from First Nations Cherokee peoples and one that you may never have heard but is out there was Chris descended from the emperor Charlamagne the founder and Emperor of the Holy Roman Empire Chris's life was speckled with tales of the ancient past though no one in the hoarder household ever actually lifted a finger to prove them we'll talk about those interesting parts of Chris's history history in a moment but I do need to say that of Chris's grandparents on the chart it's a fairly straightforward story white Americans living on the Eastern side of the USA given who Chris is the obvious thing to do is look for relationships across the tree married siblings or cousins probably wouldn't have been a great surprise but we don't see anything of the sort here everyone is maintaining a diverse genetic history as far as we can tell one person to point out though in Chris's paternal line is John James Hollowman which has to be one of the best surnames ever the family appears to have used the names holon and Hollow Man somewhat interchangeably but I could imagine Chris putting a hollow man into his Comics if we look at our new friend Mr hollow man we can actually Trace Chris's line through him back to the UK with Chris's eighth great grandfather being born in London in 1666 however these facts aren't necessarily trustworthy work has been done that traces the chandeler line much further back than this back to a Rober Le shandelier born in 1420 given that this is a French name in the UK If we assume that this lineage is true then it's possible that Bob was descended directly from Norman French aristocracy as much fun as it can be to speculate claims alone aren't necessarily trustworthy though like any historian we have to consider the validity of the source material and not just believe everything we hear like Chris would cu the pickle man tricked me again and with this lineage back to 15th century England in question well there's another claim that we can't really trust either this same family tree alleges that Chris Chan is a descendant of Charlamagne Charlamagne King of the Franks and of the Lombards United most of Western and Central Europe into the Holy Roman Empire in the year 800 we'll need some hard evidence to believe such a speculative claim but if any of these aristocratic claims are true then it's incredibly sad that the chist chose to tell fictional stories about their past rather than the real and fascinating ones despite all this speculation about English and French and central European Heritage you'll notice a distinct lack of Cherokees or any other indigenous Americans being mentioned we have the uh Cherokee blood and one says te Chris often spouted that he had Native American Heritage but as his genetic test results eventually showed there wasn't a blip proving Chris to be not true and ruining the validity of his amazing Comics but why did the channelers even claim something outrageous like this in the first place there must be something of an explanation for this feedback from christorian is that there were times when it became popular to tell stories about having some Native American blood and untrue Tales of native ancestors weren't uncommon reason reasons for this range from covering up some African Heritage to escape race laws and terrible treatment of black Americans to gaining some family clout with stories of an ancient Heritage to claiming an entitlement to land or could just have been a fun story to tell around the campfire we really can't say no matter the reason the lies were told they certainly stuck with the family for a very long time and now onto the western side of the family and berin W my mother's main name and a proper English name from royal descent are the adamant claims that they are descended from Queen of England and Berlin true 30 seconds of research will clear this up so let me Enlighten you Anne's only child was Queen Elizabeth the first qi1 was famously unmarried had no children and was known as the Virgin Queen as a rule virgins don't have descendants so it's impossible for anyone Chris included to be descended from her there is an argument that there is a Poss possibility that he might be distantly related to an though Chris did bring this up so amidst the moving goalposts it's obviously coming from a confused point of view but research has been done and some christorian have done the work to show potential common ancestors back to the 1200s some additional highlights from the Western tree have been documented and if you're interested in some further reading I recommend you check out the Quicky I'll leave a link in the description in case you'd like to check that out though we'll keep our eyes onto this chart for the moment and Bob if you'd be so kind tell us about this music you're about to play for us okay this is Jazzy jugs kazoo and washboards it's a style of American Jazz that has been far too long overlooked Chris alleges that his father Bob was half sonichu half human this is difficult since Chris is the father of the first sonichu it's more difficult because sonichu lives in a different Universe than Bob it's most difficult because Bob is a human and is descended from human beings weighing up the facts we'll have to politely dismiss this claim Robert Franklin Chandler Jr was unsurprisingly the son of Robert Franklin Chandler senior who was known as Bobby Bobby had Bob to his first wife Jean holon yes that hon and after her passing remarried and had two daughters lethal and Betty Betty has survived them all as far as we can tell Bobby himself had eight siblings well Jean had six Bobby appears to have served in the military and his death certificate shows that he worked as a security guard a type of person that Chris despised calling them jerk Ops and harboring an ongoing Vendetta against all people in that profession it is true that Bob served briefly during the Korean war in the signal Corp though he never saw action it's also true that he was a successful engineer with GE holding four patents Bob had a wife before Barbara Patricia F Harley with whom he had two children Chris's half siblings David and Carol David is an opthalmologist which is to say that he treats eye disorders David also has a wife and a daughter it's believed that David and Bob had a very strained relationship David attended Bob's funeral and in the mid 2000s we know that Chris visited him for an exam so he did maintain some minimal connection with Bob unlike David his sister Carol did not attend Bob's funeral Chris's half sister Carol has been remarked as being a successful mathematician possibly working for the US government and there's very little known about her the image of Carol on this chart therefore is Chris's depiction of her made from a Nintendo amiibo and modeling clay thanks for that Chris her lack of attendance at his funeral goes a long way to supporting speculation that Bob had a very poor relationship with his first family and potentially was not a good father to them perhaps this fueled his Indulgence of Chris's behavior and of Chris's fantasies in his later life Barbara Weston Barb was born to Joe and carry and had five siblings it's claimed that Joseph was a veteran likely during World War I though there's just no evidence of this to be found what we do understand is that he passed away in 1955 while hauling wood along a rural road he allegedly fell off his horsedrawn wagon was run over by one of its rear wheels and died of a broken neck his body was discovered after his horse and wagon arrived without him 1955 seemed somewhat late for horse and cart road travel though it's possible that he's been confused with his father also Joe Weston we just aren't sure and it's fitting that we start off confused about Bob's story it's impossible to talk about Barbara without mentioning her manipulative behavior and poor life choices in Christian's life we see her emotionally blackmailing and manipulating him like when she threatened to harm herself just just because he wanted to go on a trip to the Maryland music and gaming festival or when Bob threatened to clean the house because the hoarding situation had got out of control we will cover the ultimate unfortunate nature of Chris and Bob's relationship at the end of this video but even putting the elder abuse aside Chris knew a lot of personal information about Bob and her past sexual partners and activities which one would not expect a son to know Chris's maternal half brother Cole claims that his family life was an abusive one and judging from Bob's interactions with Chris his followers and members of the public there is no material reason to doubt Cole's claims the biggest object of importance to this tree however is Cole's contested parentage Bobb claims that Cole's father is Jack Dale Smithy her partner immediately after her first marriage Cole claims that his father was Bob's first husband ran Coleman Yates it's very difficult to find sense in this scenar scario particularly given Bob's pension for manipulation putting the key reasons for each being the father we see in Cole's emails to Chris he tells of how ran would visit him as a child and was introduced as a family friend it seems unlikely that ran would visit his exwife and would be friendly with her son to another man in the opposite column if Cole was Ran's son then saying so would reduce any shame attached to having a child out of wedlock in her Conservative Christian Community although no evidence of them being married can be found if he was smithy's son then why name him Cole ran also has a grandson named Cole we don't have any definitive answers on Cole's parentage but the evidence does suggest one likely story Bob was manipulating both men perhaps to maintain a fallback plan with ran if things fell apart with Smithy this is something we'll likely never know regardless Cole refused to believe that Smithy was his father and Bob refused to back down from her position after Smithy Bobb then went on to marry Jerry Harmon who was a magician and a Freemason Cole attests to both of them causing him severe physical and mental torment which they apparently enjoyed Cole left home at the age of 16 or 17 which was about the time when Barb married Bob he went to University got married and became a film critic regardless of the truth he certainly had a difficult upbringing borb these two jokers met at a British pub in Richmond where Bob was performing in 1979 The Story Goes that Barbara pursued him and that they married the next year with Christopher following 2 years later this of course was Bob's second marriage but according to Barbara's count it was her fourth and before we move on to that beautiful baby boy it would be wrong of us not to note liquid Chris a real and true son of Bob and Bob some people might contest and say that he's a fake but to those people I simply point out that he is more real than most of the characters who will follow on this family tree liquid married his sweetheart Casey and became a video game developer it's rumored however that Chris turned him into a baby and sent him to Hell which seems exceptionally unkind especially from a CPU goddess and despite the stories from a new liquid Cris about his divorce we will keep his happy marriage on the chart it's heartwarming that someone in the Chandler family tree gets to live happily ever after and now to the center of the chart I am Christian Weston Chandler it's amazing to think that there was so much craziness and Heritage on this chart before we even began discussing Chris Chris was born in 1982 as Christopher Chandler before he was renamed by a bear call me a real name that that God has been given to me and the bear at Regency Square shopping center the bear was named after Leonard Bernstein an American conductor who's best known for the Broadway musical Westside Story bearstein sits at top the chart as he has remained a quasi Divine being in Chris's life the Bears have continued to perform too through Christmas 2022 and it looks like they're set to continue to appear in the future and that's right the robots that you're seeing on the screen were literally the basis for Chris's emerging identity at 10 years of age by mistaking a young Christopher as Christian an animatronic bear set into motion the first of Chris's name Changers enforcing to a young Chris that he was greater and more important than those around him it must speak to the Chandler family stability that they actually chose to change Chris's name to Christian and through his life a collection of various names or a badge of pred for Chris the list of names on the quickie displays the absurd amount of names Chris has taken over the years most of which are genuinely self-attributed at this point in time Chris is legally Christine Weston Chandler though the trend would suggest that another change in the future is possible as from the start in this video we'll continue to refer to Chris based on his iconic name and pronouns for Simplicity sake we could talk about Chris all day but as this video is about Chris's family we'll move on now to Chris's relationships and his progeny sonichu sonichu is Chris's son as shown on the front page of episode zero of the sonichu comic how no one is quite sure to be honest did Chris mate with a Pikachu well it seems likely later in life Chris did Express that it was more of an emotional relationship but Chris's intentions are prone to ongoing change and retconning and it certainly would be an unusual relationship where someone would refer to their friend as father sonichu was allegedly born when Chris was 6 and alongside a number of other changes instituted by the idea guys later in Chris's story this was rcon to 1992 when Chris was 10 there's a certain irony with saying that something in the son universe doesn't make sense but this chart will get as close to it as we possibly can Sonic and roseu sonichu his wife Rose cheu the chaotic combo and later some additional sonichu all have a single event in common a collision with Sonic the Hedgehog while Sonic was rolling around at the speed of sound he collided with a Pikachu Sonic's energy somehow was conferred alongside his inertia which caused this Pikachu to evolve into a sonichu into the sonichu this is Chris's explanation for sonichu creation Sonic is not a paternal influence on sonichu but was nevertheless physically responsible for his development their Collision created a rainbow the end of which touched a ride Shu and caused it to evolve also thus Rose Chu came into being this event is depicted in the first episode of Chris's comic and so is very established law Rose Chu's parents were the Pokémon luxray and AR Raichu grandchildren we'll return to Sonic in a moment but first let's address that sonichu and Rose had three children Sarah is the eldest child Sarah May well have been named after one of Chris's sweethearts Sarah Hammer though he did later have other sweethearts named Sarah being Sarah Jackson Panda Halo who was Sarah Hart and Sarah May Chris named his second granddaughter Christine but now Chris is Christine Chris goes by Christine sonichu sonichu being a male designation while this character is Christine roseu make of these garbled and unintelligible facts as you will perhaps Christine was named after her grandfather it is curious that such an important name was relegated to his second grandchild that never really shows up in the comics though however Christine has the rare honor of being a shiny Pokémon good for her and the youngest Robbie may well be a throwback to Robert Chandler though christorian argue that Robert rabbit is a more likely candidate for the name the grandchildren though little mentioned in Chris's Comics are more heavily influenced by his own self- projection than most other characters with Sarah being labeled a tomboy Christine as bisexual and Robbie being retcon as transgender although he is their grandfather Chris never seemed to dedicate much time to them the chaotic combo during Sonic's collision with what became sonichu and the subsequent rainbow hitting rosechu something else happened Rose chew's eggs were sent out of her body stranding a number of sonichu and Rose chws in the wild family trees weren't necessarily designed to cater to this situation but we have depicted this via the Rainbow on the chart the creation of characters in this way is inherently problematic of course Rose sh is the biological mother that's clear they were her fertilized eggs which were then somehow thrown far and wide however who is the father is the father Sonic the being whose energy created the rainbow in question is sonichu the father since it was his Evolution that caused the rainbow is it both is the rainbow somehow unique and sentient an embodiment of power was it a virgin birth it's further Complicated by the fact that the fertilization of Rose chew's eggs wasn't consensual and although the ACT wasn't intentional by the male characters either Chris still wrote it that way I'll leave the ethics of that for you to decide but thus the chaotic combo was created wild bubbles Punchy Angelica and magican each being raised in distinct places which affected their Pokémon types and personalities and depending on the answer to the questions above they are also his grandchildren magican and Mewtwo amazingly Magi Chan is not the first reference to magicians that we've seen on this family tree the fifth member of the chaotic combo Magi Chan is Chris's spouse as we've talked about already through sonichu and rosechu the chaotic combo are most likely Also Chris's grandchildren Chris is married to his own grandchild but hold on to your hats because it actually gets even weirder as with all of the chaotic combo Magic Chan landed in a unique scenario which defined their personality skills and abilities in Magic Chan's case he landed in a secluded cave in the Hills near quickfill this is where the proprietary and licensed Nintendo copyrighted character of Mewtwo apparently lived not near Cilan City like in the actual Pokémon games Mewtwo became a father figure to magican raising him and teaching him psychic skills making him an overpowered borderline of ient being despite being his father figure magican and meww got married in 2018 with Chris joining the polyamory it was actually magic Chan that Chris was imaginary dancing with at BronyCon so just to be clear Magi Chan is married to both the person who is effectively his father alongside his paternal grandfather Silvana and count graduan sylvana was actually created by the same rainbow that made the chaotic combo so Chris is additionally married to his own granddaughter too her egg ended up on the moon where she met and was raised by count graduan it would be obvious to people familiar with Chris's early life the graduan is a transparent representation of his negative feelings over how poorly he handled his own graduation ceremony and how terribly he failed to step in into adulthood count graduan was apparently an ancient evil spirit although he was a member of the European aristocracy being a count Chris actually stated he was in medieval times the time of castles kings and queens Wizards witches and Sorcerers reminiscent of around Camelot and the Knights of the Round Table and all that sort of rot I had not really thought of nationality but if I had to say I would definitely put him around London or UK anyway this is where graduan was trapped in a sphere by a prec Colombian Cherokee Indian person Chris gives completely different dates and stories for his characters sometimes which doesn't make it easy to make a coherent timeline graduan has different backstories as it would seem Chris forgot his own law so what you see elsewhere may be in conflict with this video the count also ended up on the moon somehow to ra svana and then he raised her on the moon despite being a medieval Aristocrat without Luna technology as well as raising her like a father count graduan trained her in the power of shapeshifting as well as making her transgender Chris uses sylvana to have affairs with his own characters while shape-shifting into other people to fool them a really awful plot viice and it's quite telling that Chris has chosen to marry a troll guilty of such seriously heinous crimes additionally she and Magic Chan have a child together called stubborn Shu something that would just be impossible to coherently display on this chart at this point even without the conjecture of who the father of the chaotic combo might be there's no doubt whatsoever that Rose Chu was the mother magic Chan and Silvana are married siblings with a child silvana's birthday is unclear as it seems that these eggs may have also been able to travel back in time who can really say at this point criselle criselle is another member of Chris's harm criselle is female just with a main of chest hair criselle was largely an invention of the idea guys with her story including Chris marrying her when she was 15 Chris later rcon the story to say that she was over a 100 years old criselle didn't get much air time in the comics isn't well documented and doesn't have any further flow on effects to the family tree now listen to me carefully and don't panic okay we have completed the family tree and while there's no one official left on the list there's a whole lot of content left to cover because while this stylish chart is available on the lolcow design store we had to leave out a number of important characters that just didn't fit or were just so incredibly absurd that we couldn't put them in which is saying a whole lot omissions picture Chris actually says that he has a fifth spouse who was added while he was in jail Helen fiorenza of Argentina pushed her character at Chris who kind of not really accepted the fictional arranged marriage request at some point we just have to draw a line in the sand and say that either it's too crazy which it is that Chris didn't even really commit to it which it seems it didn't and that it wouldn't even fit on the tree which honestly it it wouldn't it seems unlikely that we'll hear about piku again realak notsu nerk you would be forgiven for looking at this name and thinking it a palindrome a pal androme is a word that is the same written both forward and backward two words that are the opposite spelling though are called eor laap Words which is palindrome backwards I know we've had some strange stuff covered in this video video but this one is actually true realak notsu nater is an emor dlap word of Christian Western Chandler although rnac is Christian's evil twin curiously they are completely unrelated thankfully this means that he doesn't need to be represented on this chart and for that I'm very grateful Crystal Chandler Crystal Chandler was the perfect name that Chris wanted for his daughter he had multiple dreams and visions from God himself telling him exactly this peaceful dream of becoming a father of a sweet little pretty girl who I will dub the name Crystal Weston Chandler Crystal a name that sounds similar to mine but it has a nice ring to it and it's also similar to the illustrious meow that has mine from the Earth's ground we haven't yet seen his daughter Crystal well not officially anyway but in the comics this is the name of his twin sister and Chris apparently summoned her as his dream sibling what is her relationship to Chris really what is her relationship to Natsu nater what is her relationship to her future niece Crystal Chandler so the question we have to ask ourselves is what the hell is even that if I had to put money on it I LOL cow designs believe that Chris will will someday have a third name change to Crystal at some point in the future Blake originally named black sonichu Blake is a clone of sonichu created by Dr Robotnik Blake was a clone gone wrong when Dr Robotnik spilled soda into the cloning process it is therefore unclear if Blake shares parentage with Dr Robotnik or Dr Pepper what we do know is that that sweet sweet soda sure tastes good why doesn't Blake appear on this chart well first there's no precedent in the family heritage and heraldry community on how to display a clone on a family tree if we did then a unique connector like this would probably be used I guess it's also hard to say if Dr Robotnik should take the position his father since he was technically the Creator but listen if you think this is the wrong choice then let me know in the comments and we might prepare a Blake inclusive version just for you as oh I would love to make space for aspu but he really was just Alec Benson Larry's trolling tool and since he wasn't the son of Ian Brandon Anderson he has no true familial tie to Chris sorry Alec Barbara Chandler this one we have intentionally left until last you see Barb of course is on the chart but there's something important that this chart has intentionally overlooked in many parts of the world by living together with someone in a physical relationship you are considered to be in a de facto marriage after a set period of time which carries many if not all of the same benefits and responsibilities of a formal marriage you know you're very pretty you're always pretty which would change the way that the family tree may have to look so let's just be grateful that the US state of Virginia does not acknowledge this practice thank you Virginia I am genuinely grateful I really did not want to put that into my chart the charge I was charged with I was innocent case dismissed what a bizarre story and even after all this explanation we have only just scratched the surface of these convoluted and curious relationships and bizarrely designed characters make sure to get yourself a copy of this family tree the link is in the description I will see you in the next video peace and have a great day

Channel: Lolcow designs

Views: 163,388

Keywords: chrischam, chrischan

Id: fB2hHtIdj_A

Length: 33min 46sec (2026 seconds)

Published: Fri Oct 20 2023