The Golden Age of Chris Chan

can you play it just three player if jesse was going to be performing oh oh yeah i suppose you can't play it's free player my mom's clapping up the dogs and everything's falling freaking gravity it busts me it confronts me organized chaos this is my creative method anyway i just gotta plug in my switch dock because i didn't have enough plugs left to do this and figure out how we can i got two pairs of joy cons obviously so see if we could play tetris this way i'm trying to sit up here and see if we can all play with these in that case i gotta find the regular basis controller i have nearby hi we're going to need to find the gamecube adapter maybe it's all right no no we don't have gamecube the pro controller no i don't have an adapter for gamecube do you have the pro controller i have a pro controller i just don't know where it is right now because the dogs are barking they're drunk make bonkers it's definitely does not get boring around here [Applause] usb port see that work plug this into the puss now let's see a microsoft controller be compatible with a nintendo system it's the moment of truth no no dog shot you do that one more time [Applause] right when you said that i just need to turn there's no batteries on oh it has batteries let's go turn it on i know i understand yeah those doors oh shut up i'm gonna bite my head off yep guys attention with stompitude all right i'll go ahead and do the intro i suppose hey guys it's copitz i'm here with christine weston chandler and the gamer from mars or art today we're going to be playing some tetris 99 it's gonna be a fun time working on this when we last saw chris chan he was left heartbroken after his first girlfriend blanca weiss had revealed herself to be nothing more than a catfish scheme created by trolls his video message after the fact made it seem like he had spiraled into a horribly depressive state and many expected him to take an extended hiatus from the internet to recover shockingly less than a week later chris was seen chatting on the forms of the sonic chew fan website in these conversations chris revealed that he was dating a new woman named chloe who he had met while pre-ordering a little big planet at gamestop he never mentioned chloe again after this and the timeline he gave would mean that he started dating her while he was still with blanca so most people believe that he made the whole thing up christian had proven that no matter how badly he was hurt he would always come back for more as such trolling attempts only escalated from there on october 31st 2008 a troll went to chris's house and left a sign reading encyclopedia dramatica on his front lawn this didn't elicit a very big response but it did mark a significant turning point the internet and the real world were becoming increasingly merged even if chris did log off the trolls would still be there and just a few days later a website called quickie was founded by a user named cogsdev this was an archive dedicated solely to the documentation and discussion of chris's antics something almost unheard of for previous trolling victims it was around this time that chris chan was informed about a young man named ryan cash who was a big fan of the sonic chew comic during chris's initial feud with ed when he was holding the release of sonic shoe number 7 hostage until the site was taken down ryan was reportedly so distraught by the prospect of never reading any new sonichu comics that he decided to take his own life to everyone it was obvious that this story was made up in yet another attempt to prank the autistic 20-some-year-old man well obvious to everyone that is except for chris himself after some pressure from people like vivian gee and panda halo chris included a short tribute to ryan in one of his update videos however many people saw this as insincere due to his lackluster delivery as well as the fact that it was sandwiched between two completely unrelated announcements and for ryan cash and his family it's i feel for you and i'm sorry but the best thing you could do for uh ryan and yourselves just to move on drive me is half try to be happy gee so much power that's that's a lot worse than when that child locks himself in the room after he after seeing optimus prime die in the original movie and then also on the playstation network on the home around this same time chris received an email from a man claiming to be takashi tazuka a highly successful video game director at nintendo while working at nintendo i have heard about your original character sonichu from many of my co-workers who read emails sent from your fans who are asking for a sonichu game i eventually received a message from shigeru miyamoto that we and nintendo should take the first step into creating a sonichu game that is why i am programming in two new characters into animal crossing city folk sonichu and rose chew if a large number of players enjoy sonichu and rosechu we will create a sonichu game with the help of sega t'zuka even included a couple of screenshots of the sonic chew character in animal crossing as can be expected chris did not catch on to the fact that this was a troll he had made no secret in the past that his dream was to one day make an official sonichu game with nintendo and sega now it appeared that that dream was being delivered to him on a silver platter a few days later the same prankster emailed chris again this time posing as shigeru miyamoto the creator of super mario bros and legend of zelda for good measure he also sent emails pretending to be a lawyer for nintendo named james zilberstein or just jay-z for short this was all done as a small attempt to clue chris into the fact that it was all a joke but he never caught on in fact on january 6 2009 chris posted a video announcing the exciting news that he was working directly with nintendo he also stated that for legal reasons he had been advised by nintendo to go back into his old comics and change the names of characters that were based on real people chris obliged the troll's orders and soon after every issue of sonic chew that had been published received these new edits sarah hammer became nicole rammer wes eisley became walter grisby megan became meg chan and marylee walsh became a slaw well ryan later that day the troll emailed chris under yet another alias this time he was pretending to be greg mays a web designer hired by nintendo to help spruce up the sonichu website in advance of the game blinded by excitement chris happily handed over the password to his website without question this resulted in it quickly being taken offline greg emailed chris blaming the outage on sega filing a seasoned assist order against the project at this point chris finally caught on to the fact that he was being trolled although he still was unable to see the full extent of it despite understanding that greg was a fictional character chris was still convinced that every other person in the storyline was real and that he was truly in contact with shigeru miyamoto now listen sir i want you to restore all the files you've deleted from sonichu.net the sonichu and rose 2 fansite cwc's pokesite2 and the other cwc sites that were on there where i will have my lower his people nintendo and the people of sega even the power of mr miyamoto himself bring in a tracking team track you down and force you to restore solitude on that air all with a cruel beating up terribly painful punishment you do not want to remain on my bad side my fangs are sharp and i can thirst for blood even though i am cherokee not a vampire chris followed this during email with a vlog in which he expressed the same sentiment even repeating the threat about his fangs you're getting it so just listen to me you jerk re-upload it oh we're gonna rain heckle on you because i'm not afraid to show my thanks after the fallout with greg mr chandler continued emailing with miyamoto to discuss the possibility of meeting in person a big sticking point with this was chris's inability to pay for a plane ticket to redmond washington where the nintendo of america offices were located he tried multiple times to get miyamoto to pay for the flight but he refused berating chris for being unemployed and unable to pay for his own ticket despite the now abusive comments from the supposed top creative at nintendo it's still unsurprising that he fell for the story given his track record what's more perplexing is that at a certain point christian brought in his parents to talk with miyamoto and they too seem to believe the hoax barbara began to help chris negotiate with the gaming giant and took the opportunity to boast about how prolific she and her husband had once been in the business world though it was riddled with grammatical errors and disjointed sentences trolls noted that even though bob and barbara apparently had such deep knowledge of business dealings they didn't find anything odd about the fact that such an important executive had reached out to chris directly and why such a large company was refusing to pay for airfare from there the talks merely went around in circles for a while as both sides refused to back down from their positions as the chandler family continued their correspondence with miyamoto on january 12th the greg mays returned to the story this time he revealed himself to actually be a jason kendrick howell the original troll who created the encyclopedia dramatica page in the first place this unsurprisingly was just another lie but chris took the bait without question as jason was still holding chris's website hostage he offered him a deal he would return the domain name if chris posted a video coming out as either straight or gay with the choice being up to him chris unsurprisingly chose the latter in an incredibly short video and held up a poster of britney spears as proof jason was not satisfied by this offering and demanded chris make a longer video in this upload chris goes into great detail about how all his life he had gotten along better with women than he did with men he even holds up a copy of a playboy magazine this time as further proof of his heterosexuality the troll was much happier with this though he wasn't done just yet asking chris for one last video where he would film his parents telling chris how proud they were of him christian at first agreed but it seems that it was never actually filmed as he apparently decided that it would be easier to just make a new website rather than continue to jump through hoops for jason's amusement shortly thereafter a new video was posted announcing the creation of sonichu dot info that same day jason sent chris another email revealing that he was not actually jason at all it was just another pseudonym used by the true man behind all of this clyde cash the brother of ryan cash who you might remember as the boy who had killed himself over sonichu clyde vowed revenge against chris due to his brother's death and had devoted his life to making him suffer even the famously gullible chris did not believe this story at first instead thinking jason was just lying to get out of trouble very interesting i will know clyde cash as your nickname among my printed written information i have of you when i go to the police department to report you hey do me a huge favor stand in the middle of heaviest traffic and get run over i pray to god and jesus for your death jason kendrick howell as time went on chris would eventually accept clyde cash as real many trolls would use the name as an alias and chris would come to know clyde as his arch nemesis the mysterious figure pulling the strings behind every trolling scheme in his life after his grand entrance clyde formed an organization called the private villa of corrupted citizens or pvcc for short this was named after the villainous organization from the sonichu comic series which itself was named after piedmont virginia community college clyde's version of the pvcc was meant to be an elite team of only the best trolls who would team up to devise new ways to mess with chris after revealing himself clyde's first act of trolling was to hack into christian's account and send an email to miyamoto pretending to come out of the closet please keep in mind that miyamoto and clyde cash were being played by the same person but chris was not privy to this fact and was thus horrified when he discovered what had been sent from his account he quickly established that he had been hacked and reaffirmed his heterosexuality mr chandler also posted a video directed at miyamoto in order to confirm his identity in this upload chris held up two pieces of evidence his custom sonichu wii remote and nunchuck as well as his driver's license in another amusing detail chris chose to open the video by bowing to the camera as a sign of respect with the introduction of clyde and the pvcc the line between reality and fiction was beginning to blur the trolls were turning chris's life into one of the saturday morning cartoons he was influenced so much by as a child complete with heroes villains and soon enough love triangles because as hard as it may be to believe there was yet another trolling effort running perpendicular to the miyamoto saga before going any further into today's story we'll first need to jump back to december of 2008 before the clyde cash saga even began i hate the homos i actually do have a past story as i have realized from repressed memories back from the green county days but i will not go further than that because y'all would have a field day around this time someone going by the name cassie rosechu informed chris that she had created a message board called sonichu girls where chris's female fans could gather and discuss their love for him and his comic the users of sonichu girls all heaped compliments onto chris treating him like a king and all saying that they would happily have sex with him chris clearly loved having such a large harem of women singing his praises and in february of 2009 he even went so far as to ship cassie rose chew a box full of locks of his hair which she was meant to distribute amongst the other sonichu girls reportedly his hair was greasy and had an unpleasant smell of all the users of the message board one stood out from the rest a young woman named julie milvana better known by her screen name of blue spike now chris had not met julie on the sonichu girl's message board she had emailed chris a few weeks prior and the two had quickly hit it off unbeknownst to chris though blue spike led a double life as a member of the pvcc at the time when chris and julie's relationship began to get more intense chris had also restarted a romance with his old flame sarah mckenzie aka panda halo during one night on the sonic chew girl's message board julie was expressing her displeasure with this relationship and she believed chris would be much happier with her it seemed as though chris agreed as he stated he would break up with sarah in order to date julie at that moment sarah just so happened to join the chat and was immediately horrified by what she saw the three of them began arguing resulting in julie leaving the chat and threatening to kill herself to this chris would only say damn after things calmed down a bit julie returned to the conversation and chris revealed that he had feelings for both girls eventually he could no longer handle the stress of this discussion and logged off for the night it would appear that christian used this time to think about his decision which was revealed on january 5th with the release of a new sonic chew episode most of the story was a fairly standard albeit bizarre and borderline incomprehensible sonic chew adventure the only notable part is at the end where chris talks about his struggles choosing between all the women who had been throwing themselves at him lately he states that the decision was made easier when two paths were taken away with the help of god in jesus he starts by bringing up sarah jackson the girl he had been talking to a few months prior who he believed had died in a car accident chris chose to memorialize this deceased woman by depicting the moment of her death and including a drawing of a truck ramming directly into her car he also brings up jesse ruddy another lady he had been talking to who had revealed herself to be a troll he ended this section by proclaiming sarah mckenzie to be his true sweetheart officially completing his love quest chris did not even mention julie in this comic so it's entirely possible that it was completed before he started talking to her either way at the time he remained devoted to sarah later in january chris engaged in an internet relay chat or irc with clyde cash along with his friend and popular entrepreneur billy mays in this convo chris's immediate priority was to try to get clyde to be nicer to him he started by once again offering his condolences for ryan's death and tried to relate to him by mentioning how distraught he was after the passing of his dog patty this strategy did not work as it only angered clyde who derided chris for daring to compare a dog to his brother chris still doubled down on this point claiming to have loved paddy as though she was a sibling he also made an attempt to gain clyde's respect claiming that he was courageous for enduring being trolled for so long unsurprisingly these strategies proved unsuccessful as clyde and billy mays seemed more concerned with finding new ways to annoy their target things continued with christian being tormented by his inability to lose his virginity despite having so many women throwing themselves at him clyde brought up the subject of chris's then-girlfriend sarah mckenzie who he claimed to have raped a point chris seemed unfazed by the troll then decided that the only way to truly infuriate chris was to resort to a tried and true method calling him a homosexual he brought up the now infamous image of chris wearing his mother's underwear citing it as proof that he secretly liked men this is what made chris finally lose his temper as he tried in vain to convince clyde that he wore traditional male underwear most of the time this angry outburst resulted in chris stating i have numbers of pairs of dirty crapped briefs the unprompted admission to frequently soiling himself became another prominent meme in the christian trolling community and only further cemented people's desire to anger him just to see what outrageous thing he'd say next the following day chris and clyde engaged in another irc this time joined by his girlfriend sarah mckenzie sarah started by confirming that she had indeed been raped by clyde and added that she was now pregnant with his child sarah offered chris an ultimatum if he managed to turn sonic chew into a successful franchise she would become his wife and raise the child with him this barely seemed to affect chris as he even gave sarah his blessing to move in with her supposed rapist if she chose ultimately this trolling attempt proved not to be very fruitful although it would more or less mark the end of his relationship with sarah this breakup would not keep chris down for long though as he decided to immediately jump back into things with julie the two of them began talking frequently again over mumble a voice chat application similar to discord or skype julie took the opportunity to deepen the lore of her character she told chris that she came from the fictional country of mulvaney and that her homeland had been in the midst of a political upheaval after the assassination of their dictator chris almost googled it to check the legitimacy of these claims coming so close to finally figuring out that he was being lied to but julie talked him out of it these conversations also had the tendency to get a bit sexual chris apparently had spent a long while thinking about what their first time together would be like as he went into graphic detail describing every aspect of how he imagined that night going he talked about how they would begin with making out before moving on to intercourse and described which positions they would take and the order in which they would use them he even stated that he planned on eating a good deal of strawberries beforehand in order to make his fluids taste better julie was fully supporting this discussion all the way through telling chris that she was getting aroused by the thought of it it appeared that all was going good until clyde cash infiltrated the chat and began tormenting chris they seemed to fill the classic archetypes of hero and villain with julie acting as the damsel in distress the autistic man's arch-nemesis threatened to harm julie unless chris gave in to his demands he was to make a three minute long video in which he told the world he was gay chris agreed although he formulated a plan to beat clyde at his own game on february 5th 2009 chris posted a video in which he appears to come out of the closet though secretly doesn't let me explain you see chris was unwilling to make the coming out video for his nemesis so he instead figured out a loophole in the video rather than saying he was gay he instead referred to himself as a gabian this was his made-up term for a male lesbian in other words a man who was attracted to women in addition a christian also hid a number of clues in the video so his true fans would be able to tell he was not being entirely truthful he held an optimist prime toy which he had previously referred to as a symbol of true masculinity and displayed a sailor moon poster in the background to show his love for women he also chose not to wear his sonichu medallion which his fans knew meant that he was not telling the truth to put it simply clyde was not impressed demanding that chris do it again without the word gabion chris relented but only on the condition that clyde leave julie alone after it was finished the leader of the pvcc agreed to these terms but he still wanted to be able to send her chocolates and flowers chris apparently thought this was an acceptable compromise and he posted the new video later that same day i'm good i'm gay i'm gay [Music] i said it it was clear that this was a man who could not handle the slightest notion that anyone might believe he was attracted to other men and the very next day chris posted a video clarifying that he had only pretended to come out of the closet to protect julie despite the fact that he had no concrete proof that she was safe from clyde just yet christian also addressed another demand clyde had made for him to clean up his room and get rid of some of the toys in order to appear more mature chris claimed he had already gotten started on this task by showing a destroyed vibrator he had received for free with a large order from the adult website adam and eve despite claiming to have never actually used this device he believed that getting rid of it would satisfy clyde's desires chris's next video would address the black saturday bushfires that had been sweeping across victoria australia at the time he expressed concern for sarah mckenzie as he hadn't heard from her in some time and thus was worried she had been killed in the natural disaster many mocked chris due to the fact that the fires were nowhere near the part of australia that sarah lived in let alone the fact that she was not real regardless he proceeded to beg sarah to contact him to confirm if she decided to stay with him or go with clyde he apparently still viewed sarah as his sweetheart despite his sexual conversations with julie since the last time he had spoken to her chris and julie also continued to have sexually charged chats over mumble at around the same time she was able to get chris to reveal even more embarrassing details about himself most notably being that he would occasionally drink his own semen or as he would call it recycling it as he explained it by consuming the fluids he would keep his sperm count high and ensure that none of his potential future children would be lost in addition a christian admitted to having semi-frequent intrusive thoughts telling him that he was a homosexual he even told julie that he had inserted some of the adam and eve products into his rectum just to see how it felt but he did not enjoy it the love struck man obviously believed he was telling julie these secrets in confidence but as always they would quickly leak onto the internet not only was julia troll but several other members of the pvcc would often lurk in these chats recording them to find any new insight into chris's life some of these people also took the opportunity to mess with chris further on valentine's day 2009 as chris and julie were engaged in a particularly sexual discussion pranksters began calling the chandler family's landline in order to get his parents to walk in on him they eventually succeeded by telling bob that chris was planning to kill himself which prompted the elderly man to run in on his son catching him with his pants down this caused bob to get very upset as he threatened to take away his adult son's internet privileges his choice words of like earned bob the nickname the lumberjack only a few days later a video titled for julie's eyes only was leaked onto a porn website this upload showed chris completely naked as he had intercourse with his blow up doll while calling out julie's name it quickly gained an impressive 3 million views becoming one of the most watched chris chan videos of all time when he confronted julie about it she claimed that her little brother max had hacked into her account and leaked it the next day chris had a conversation over mumble with clyde and a few other members of the pvcc or as they were now calling themselves the miscreants the trolls seem to be relishing their new roles as cartoon villains altering their voices and mannerisms to be as over the top and evil as possible clyde stated that their mission was to keep chris a virgin for the rest of his life mirroring marylee walsh's goals from the sonic chew comic they may have been trying to provide a fantasy for chris but perhaps on the same level chris was providing a fantasy for them clyde and the miscreants dropped many large revelations on chris during this chat they revealed that not only was max one of them but so were blanca weiss jason kendrick howell and sarah mckenzie on the subject of sarah clyde also assured him that she survived the bushfires as this was happening max took control of the blue spike account and began using it to message chris he told him that the miscreants had kidnapped julie and were holding her hostage at their secret headquarters in cleveland ohio a few days later chris received an email from clyde reaffirming this claim and adding that they were planning to ship her off to china they then gave chris an address where he could supposedly rescue her now by this point chris had proven himself to be able to believe some pretty outlandish things but most of the miscreants thought that this was still a bridge too far even if he did believe the story many assume that he would not actually go through with the journey surprising everyone though in the early morning of february 25th chris got in his car and began making the drive to ohio he departed without telling his parents choosing instead to leave a note informing them of what was happening this was the first time chris had ever left the state by himself so when bob and barbara discovered the note they began to panic the distraught parents called the police and tried to file a missing person case for their son but when chris gave them a call upon reaching the outskirts of cleveland they calmed down chris arrived at the address the miscreants had given him a day later but when he rang the doorbell he was greeted by an elderly woman who had never heard of the names julie or clyde cash before even after he was told that no person of his description lived there a suspicious chris asked around a few neighbors houses before realizing that they didn't know anything either he proceeded to drive home despite the whole ordeal being nothing more than a wild goose chase christian weston chandler seemed to be in high spirits after his solo road trip this was the most independent thing he had ever done and this taste of freedom seemed to excite him even the trolls had to applaud chris for being willing to step so far out of his comfort zone to rescue the woman he loved even if it was just a prank their reasons for making him do it may have been cruel but in a strange way the end result seemed to be a positive one unfortunately the same can't be said for what would come next because on march 3rd chris was once again hacked this time by max who took control of his website yahoo and playstation network account this resulted in a long infamous skype call between the two of them while max's side of the recording is a bit unintelligible whatever he was saying clearly made chris viscerally upset he told chris that the miscreants were still holding julie hostage and gave him a choice he could either save julie or get his accounts back ultimately chris chose to save julie after the decision was made max began threatening to put chris's psn account up for auction on ebay even though he had chosen julie christian still begged the troll not to go through with it he didn't even seem to mind if he didn't get it back for some reason he was just desperate for it not to be sold and this is when mack saw an opportunity he began making ludicrous demands of chris in order to keep the account off of ebay including dancing for him as well as making love with the manager of the game place at some point max made fun of chris by accusing him of not having genitals while no video recording exists of this conversation based on max's reaction it can be inferred that chris exposed himself on camera to prove him incorrect after some deliberation max's demands became focused on chris's sonic shoe medallion he tossed around ideas for things chris could do with his prized possession including setting it aflame and ejaculating on it ultimately the troll decided on the cruelest thing possible making chris insert the medallion into his anus despite the only thing at stake being a playstation network account chris decided this was an acceptable trade-off as just stated and no video of this ordeal exists online but max can be heard laughing with sadistic glee as chris repeats how miserable this whole experience is making him eventually other members of the miscreants joined the call and were horrified by what they saw quickly turning on max and telling him to cut it out the sadist wasn't willing to give up his depraved fun so easily though as he continued making increasingly crueler demands of chris such as telling him to burn his own house down luckily by this point chris was realizing the tides were turning in his favor and finally had enough telling max that he would no longer do as asked with the jig being up max dropped the bombshell reveal on chris chan julie never existed as it turns out both his sweetheart and max had been characters played by the troll blue spike a boy that was only 13 years of age blue spike then threatened to report chris to the fbi as he had been having sexual conversations and sending explicit material to a minor for months hearing what was going down a clyde joined the call and attempted to reel in the teenager's antics he tried in vain to convince chris that julie was real and still being held hostage in ohio but at that point the damage was done the 13 year olds had torn down the entire facade that clyde spent months building up despite his cruel methods on some level clyde seemed to believe he was helping chris take some control of his life and gain maturity but blue spike didn't care about that as he merely wanted the autistic man to suffer the following day christian had a chat over mumble with the miscreant sans blue spike where he stated he felt sick after the previous day's events there was a notable change of tone from the pranksters here as they were clearly treating chris more nicely presumably out of a sense of guilt that didn't stop them entirely of course clyde cash mentioned that he had blue spike killed for what he had done to which chris could only respond that's sad for a short while after this incident the trolls chose to back off and chris made a conscious effort to talk to fewer people over the world wide web but as always it wouldn't be long until both sides were back to their old ways in fact a new troll would soon enter the picture good evening citizens of youtube i must be quiet because it's at night i don't want to wake up my parents so please forgive me for not talking loud and i hope all you can hear me robert simmons was a man who contacted chris during the early days of the trolling of posing as an autistic sonichu fan and was able to quickly gain the gullible man's trust the two maintained a friendly correspondence over the internet until march 15 2009 when robert visited chris's church in order to attend a service with him and bob unbeknownst to the father and son robert was wearing a microphone to record the entire encounter nothing much of interest was said on this recording though robert and bob chatted for a bit about the trolling chris had been receiving and chris gave robert his autograph the real point of interest in this audio comes at the end when robert gets into his car and begins talking with an unidentified co-conspirator the two of them appeared to be planning something but at that point it was unclear exactly what this was that same week chris received a phone call from a girl named emily asking if he'd be interested on going on a date with her still rebounding from julie chris agreed and the date was set for march 16th it should go without saying at this point that emily was a troll too in fact she was the one who had put the encyclopedia dramatica sign in chris's yard a few months prior the two decided to meet up at the now iconic fashion square mall chris's former favorite spot for picking up women when the day came chris arrived first but quickly got too stressed out and left before emily showed up even though she was a troll this was still the closest thing to a real date chris had ever been on upon arriving home he posted a video apologizing to emily asking if they could reschedule for a new time for their dates in this upload chris also cites his parents as the reason for backing out at the last second but yeah my yeah my mom was in disbelief but yet also my father was in full belief and uh still conflicting all the conflicting pro all the conflicting opinions and whatnot just made me feel unsure he stated that if they did arrange a new day to go out on he would not tell his mother about it shortly thereafter the female troll and chris got in contact once again and the new date was set on this second meeting attempt it was emily who arrived at the mall early she wore a concealed microphone and her friend covertly recorded the meeting in order to capture what they had planned when chris arrived emily and her cohorts were surprised to see him accompanied by bob the trio sat down for lunch at the food court where bob talked incessantly to emily with chris barely getting a word in edgewise many speculated that the now elderly man liked to talk a lot because he was so starved for attention living with chris and barb that he would take any opportunity he could to interact with new people eventually the father did leave the two alone and chris and emily walked around the mall together the romantically impaired man and made some awkward attempts to flirt he seemed to brag about taking a shower before the date showed her his infamous donald duck impression and compared her to a character from sailor moon he also asked if he could put his hand on her shoulder to which she responded only for a little bit after a while emily told chris that she was ready to go home this was the cue for her partner a man wearing a pickle costume to emerge from a nearby store and begin flirting with her chris was immediately suspicious of him asking if he had any knowledge of sonic chew and 4chan but he pretended to have no idea what chris was talking about he then tried to get the pickle man to back off but emily was clearly infatuated with him the smooth-talking pickleman girlfriend steeler next inquired if she'd be interested in going to see a film with him and much to chris's dismay emily agreed chris could only watch as his first ever date left him for a man dressed as a fermented cucumber after his failed love quest with emily chris was ready to move on to the next girl and as it turns out only a few days prior a young woman named ivy o'neill had called the chandler household to ask if chris could give her a shout out in a video she also sent him all of the sonichu fan art she had made as well as art of her own original characters at this point people had figured out that the easiest way to win chris's affection was to either appeal to his sexual desires or to send him sonichu fan art so of course he quickly became infatuated with the young lady almost immediately after they started talking ivy began testing the limits of what she could get chris to do on march 20th only a few days after the relationship began chris posted a video telling her that he was in love a week later chris recorded a cover of the song i need a hero at ivy's request he pretended to play music on his guitar hero controller he also showed a few pages from a comic he was working on in which he and sonichu rescued ivy from clyde it concluded with a drawing of a shirtless unrealistically muscular chris standing triumphantly with ivy on the edge of a cliff and waving his iconic sweater like a flag another video requested by his new sweetheart was a tour of chris's house which was posted on march 27th this offered a rare insight into the everyday life and severe hoarding problems of the chandler family the kitchen counters were covered by layers of unwashed dishes they had still not taken their christmas tree down and the living room was so full of clutter that it was no longer usable it was at this moment that the miscreants realized that if this was chris's reality it's no wonder why he would rather live in a fantasy this house tour actually got chris in a bit of trouble a few months later in august when his parents discovered it it turns out that they were concerned that the health department might see the footage and force them to move out and wanted him to figure out a way to fix it his solution was to upload a video screaming at people about it everyone in it my mother and my father are angry at me they're blaming me it's my fault i am it it's my fault i want everything about my house off the internet i'll send in detectives i'll send him police i'll send him everything in my power to get it off the internet listen to me listen to me yes shut that goddamn thing off i don't care what you do you get all that stuff off of there tonight i'm working on it go work on it do you realize do you realize something let me tell you if the health department of greene county sees those videos that you put on the damn internet they could condemn our house and we would have to move out of it i don't know if you're loading them up there you unload them i'm working on it go do it i am working i am doing it i'm sorry i didn't do it i don't want to get kicked out of my house by the health department and what you just did was stick a knife in our back and kill us so yeah please get everything off the internet now now now now now after this video went live the trolls began contacting the greene county health department to report the chandler family officials eventually did check the house out but took no action due to the fact that the conditions of the home terrible as they were did not affect anyone beyond chris bob and barbara going back to the spring of 2009 chris rekindled his friendship with joshua martinez this time he managed to convince chris that he had many friends in hollywood with him pretending to put the gullible man in contact with actress vanessa hudgins and the two began a correspondence things rapidly became sexual between the two with chris even going so far as to tell the movie star that he loved her however the sonichu creator quickly felt guilty about this and came clean to ivy about the affair he even posted a couple of videos on the subject the first was him apologizing and had his blowup doll stand in for ivy the second was him reading a bible verse about how adultery is a sin during this whole ordeal the miscreants also leaked a series of private videos chris had made for ivy the first of these showed mr chandler drinking his own seed in order to prove that he could change how it tasted based off of what he ate strangely though he chose to mix it with orange fanta the second was of chris naked in the shower slow dancing to an imaginary ivy finally the third was of him once again naked spanking himself as punishment for cheating if this wasn't embarrassing enough they also leaked a series of photos showing chris wearing nothing but his sonic 2 medallion and an adult to diaper these were all punishments devised by ivy to make up for the fact that he had an emotional affair with the star of high school musical all of this discipline only seemed to strengthen chris's love for ivy as by april 24th he posted a video of himself pretending to propose he did this by producing a cover of the celine dion song it's all coming back to me which he played in the background it was followed up by chris showing off his latest comic sonic choose special number two which told the story of his dream wedding a few days later the miscreants leaked the follow-up sonic choose special number three this was made as a gift to ivy and was only ever meant to be seen by her the story followed the couple's honeymoon and them consummating the marriage as shown prior chris wasn't afraid to make his comic sexual and this was no exception according to some ivy encouraged chris to make the drawings of his genitals as accurate as possible his solution was to place his manhood on the paper and trace over it this resulted in his character's package being roughly the same size as his entire body leading many fans to nickname it the giant penis comic by may chris decided he wanted to better control the online conversation surrounding him with this he created an account on wikipedia named chris chan sonichu and attempted to write up a page about himself on the site this was quickly deleted though as it included excessively detailed personal information and the wikipedia admins assumed it was created by a troll this was not a total loss though as cogsdev the creator of the quickie decided to take the opportunity to create a new website called quickipedia where chris could post about himself all he liked aside from youtube this would be chris's primary space for communicating with the public and the new home for the sonic 2 comic this same month chris was tricked once again by joshua martinez who sold him a psp at a drastically inflated price for some reason this excessive spending was the final nail in the coffin for ivy who decided to break up with chris soon afterward she also cited his infidelity as another reason for leaving but it can probably be assumed that the troll behind the ivy persona had just gotten bored and needed an excuse to give it up for the two days afterward chris called his ex non-stop begging her to take him back it got so bad that she eventually had to call bob to make chris leave her alone in an instant one of chris's most serious relationships had ended and he barely understood why accepting the rejection and trying to move on chris posted a video saying he would be resuming his love quest more specifically looking for a smoke-free non-alcoholic non-black woman most importantly he claimed that he would no longer be talking to ladies over the internet and would only accept offers from those who approached him in real life it seemed to many that he had finally learned his lesson to back this up chris began expanding his social life and friend circle with his new gal pal kim wilson as well as a couple of her friends the thing is kim was actually emily the girl chris had gone on a date with a few months prior but as baffling as it may sound he did not seem to recognize her kim posted a series of vlogs depicting her time with chris despite the fact that she was a troll it seemed like she actually wanted him to enjoy himself most notably one of these videos showed chris drinking a long island iced tea which was his first ever alcoholic beverage after years of vilifying people who drank this was a rare moment of chris stepping out of his comfort zone as christian continued hanging out with kim and her friends he began getting a lot more confident in july a video was recorded with the help of a buddy titled roland and trollin in which he gave a tour of charlottesville while pretending it was quickville the most notable thing in this video was chris's change in appearance his famous blue and red striped sweater had been replaced with a blue t-shirt and a vest and his sonichu medallion had been exchanged for dog tags he wore tattoo sleeves his sunglasses spiked bracelets had grown a goatee and was altering his voice this was all done in an attempt to convince the trolls that chris chan had been a character this whole time and that in reality he was neurotypical and fully employed around this time a troll going by the name samantha thaddeus hacked into chris's psn and club nintendo accounts after some emailing back and forth with them quoting bible verses at each other chris was then put in contact with samantha's father jack thaddeus just like many of the other trolls in the past jack used his position of power to see what absurd things he could get chris to do this included a gratuitous video of chris humping his playstation 3 for eight whole minutes straight as well as one of him singing the song it's okay to be gay as usual the latter of these two uploads was not satisfactory as chris spent the whole gay announcements with his voice filled with disgust because of this he demanded a second take in this new version chris wore novelty nose and mustache glasses a hat and a skirt taken from his blow up doll he also changed the lyrics in the final line to it's not okay to be gay as he took off the glasses all in an attempt to circumvent the troll's demand for him to come out of the closet jack next requested that chris make a puppet show of sonic and tails making love but this seemed to be a line chris was not willing to cross as he told jack that getting his accounts back was not worth the humiliation even with that being said samantha's father was still able to convince chris that the miscreants were cooking up a scheme to get his social security payments taken away as he had apparently revealed himself to not actually have autism in his role in trolling video in response chris posted an upload clarifying that he was in fact unemployed and autistic inexplicably all of the audio in this video was entirely through adr i don't have a job so there and i am high functionally autistic and i'm near-sighted still a virgin so there you go to most onlookers a jack wasn't anything too special when it came to chris's ever-growing gallery of trolls however he did open the door to the next big saga you see as he and chris continued emailing jack sent him a link to a new video by a brand new player in the story a young man claiming that he was the real christian weston chandler it goes without saying that chris would not take this very well captain's log stardate june 21st 2009 my name is christian weston chandler in the summer of 2009 one of chris's most infamous adversaries appeared on the scene this troll had actually been posting videos since june on the youtube channel si chan sonichu quick before gaining much of a following but that would soon change what made him stick out from the pack was that he pretended to be chris doing a near-spot-on imitation at that copying his quirks in manner of speaking he wore a brown and yellow striped sweater which he patted out with a pillow to make himself appear obese and had a paper sonichu medallion around his neck he mimicked chris's past antics such as his song a sony acute girl the time he was forced to make a video saying that he was gay and his eternal feud with clyde cash trolls began referring to him as liquid chris with the original now being referred to as solid chris a reference to the metal gear video game series the first upload that solid chris saw from liquid was one in which he was claiming to sell sonic chew merchandise as was displayed in the jimmy hill saga almost a year prior chris could not stand the idea of others profiting off his characters he quickly posted an angry upload decrying liquid do not buy any more from this crappy imposter do not give him any more money and he said he's gonna give it to quote unquote his congregation with my elizabeth foss it's my congregation that is who does imposter think he is down with him burn in hell apparently chris still hadn't caught up to the established pattern as this response only added fuel to the fire and made liquid go further with his scheme any time christian posted a video a liquid would post one of his own to one-up him for example on july 29th chris made a recording of himself playing the song more than a feeling on guitar hero mere hours later liquid had posted one himself playing the same song on an actual guitar trolls quickly took notice of how angry chris got at the idea that people might believe liquid to be the real christian western chandler as such they decided to start circulating a rumor that solid chris was actually named ian brandon anderson due to the fact that his then current youtube channel was called iba chandler it didn't take long for chris to get completely fed up with liquid's shenanigans to decide once and for all who the imposter was he devised a scheme a challenging liquid to a musical competition which he dubbed the sing star challenge the rules to this contest were odd and convoluted and seem specifically tailored to benefit chris it would consist of five rounds and in each one of both contestants would choose a new song to sing as a finale they would each choose a song for their competitor in addition they were not allowed to use instruments but were required to have an mp3 of the song playing in the background finally the contest was to have six judges with both chris and liquid selecting three christian chose his friend kim wilson one of her male friends who remained unnamed and a new online gal pal named kate bay liquid selected his girlfriend casey his friend seth and an animator by the name of spazzkit chris decided to end this video by asserting his dominance over liquid he took a razor and without the use of shaving cream aggressively shaved the goatee he had been growing for the past few weeks with the gauntlet thrown the sing star challenge was officially on to put it simply the competition was heated and lasted throughout the first week of august chris of course tried whatever tactic he could think of to hinder liquid's chances of success in the second round liquid chose to sing the theme song from the fresh prince of bel-air christian angrily took to the video's comments to accuse him of cheating since he claimed that theme songs were not allowed by the rules even though chris himself had decided the rules specifically to benefit him it seemed as though he was willing to bend them any way he saw fit nevertheless the judges did not agree with his objection the challenge proceeded normally for the next few days until the fifth and final round as previously established this was when chris would choose a song for liquid to sing and vice versa it was without a doubt the most hotly contested round of the entire sing star saga beginning with chris performing the tune a liquid chose for him smell yo dick by risque however he opted to change the titular lyric to duck due to his discomfort with the phallic implication liquid was quick to call him out on this forcing chris to post a new version in which he sang the uncensored lines even though he clearly didn't want to as for liquid chris chose for him to perform a lift up your eyes by the planet shakers however he did not sing the entire song as the full version was almost 10 minutes in length this provoked a furious response from christian who demanded that liquid redo his entry with the full version or be disqualified chris also claimed that he had gotten the police involved to investigate liquid but walked back the claim almost instantly the autistic man's impostor soon uploaded his new video with the complete song and the singstar challenge was officially complete all that was left was for the judges to cast their votes in the end liquid chris was declared the winner after four of the six judges selected him the deciding vote came from kate bay a solid chris's newest online gal pal he begged her over email to change her mind but she wouldn't budge according to his own rules this officially made a liquid chris the true and honest christian weston chandler of course ian brandon anderson did not take this defeat to laying down despite losing fair and square he quickly uploaded another video to prove that he was the one and only chris chan to accomplish this he publicly stated his address and phone number inviting anybody to come over to his house and meet him unlike most other times when personal information about mr chandler was revealed this was not done through leaks or manipulation chris was simply so irate at the idea of anybody believing that he was not the real christian chandler that he willingly doxed himself meanwhile after achieving victory in the sing star challenge a liquid chris posted an update video about his life he thanked the judges for voting for him and stated that he had recently proposed to a sweetheart casey on top of this he also claimed to have gotten a job at a video game studio in redmond washington this was most likely a reference to the miyamoto saga from earlier he concluded that due to his new career move he would officially be leaving the internet to focus on his new life liquid walked off camera as the song will meet again played ominously in the background seemingly indicating that his saga was not quite finished just yet over the course of the sing star challenge solid chris came in contact with liquid sweetheart casey they began talking semi-frequently over the phone and email and she even joined him on one of his days out with kim wilson in real life as they got to know each other better it was clear that chris's feelings for his new gal pal became more than just platonic friendship casey was quick to leverage this affection learning even more details about the chandler's private life during their many phone calls chris was more than happy to talk to casey about his daily habits according to him he had been taking medication for high cholesterol due to the fact that pretty much all of his meals came in the form of fast food when casey reacted in shock chris was quick to clarify he often ordered salads from these establishments apparently the reason for this constant eating out was due to the already established clutter in the chandler kitchen which made it impossible for any cooking to be done when questioned about his physical activity chris stated his only exercise came from his daily walks around the neighborhood which were enough for him to work up a sweat solid chris didn't seem to see a problem with his lifestyle but casey became determined to get him to eat better and exercise more she offered to take chris jogging an idea which he was initially hesitant about since he was worried his chest would bounce around too much however once casey suggested he could wear a sports bra he rapidly warmed up to the idea he quickly purchased a piece of the female apparel sent casey a photo of himself wearing it and commented on how confident it made him feel casey also encouraged chris to get out of the house more he began attending what he described as a relationship development class which he hoped would help build up his confidence about talking to women in person he compared it to his idea of dating education class a concept he had been trying to get schools to implement for years alongside sex ed chris also applied for a job at target going through with this took a lot more convincing from casey than she first thought as chris was concerned that getting a job would impact his monthly social security checks he never received a call back but it cannot be overstated how much of a big step it was for chris to apply in the first place considering he had been arrested at target only a few years prior in october after months away from the internet liquid chris returned with a new video he claimed that he had not made it to his job in redmond washington as while riding the bus there he had been drugged and kidnapped by solid chris he then stated that he woke up in the sahara desert with blood oozing from his anus chris was quick to deny the story i mean come on his story i mean like you know being put in a meat factory sahara desert aladdin people and also he could easily put he could easily take the drugs himself upon his return liquid immediately reignited the feud claiming that casey had begun to fall in love with solid chris during his time away but as soon as liquid returned she immediately fell back in love with the winner of the contest this worked incredibly well in riling up the potential target employee he soon publicly stated his love for casey and the battle for her affection was on like their previous battle this was really nothing more than the two of them making videos back and forth on october 29th a christian uploaded a diss track against liquid sung over the song a walk this way by the end it simply devolved into chris flipping through his playlist and using each new song to insult a liquid it was here that chris claimed casey was now dating him which was not true at all liquid was quick to respond with his own diss track rapping to the beat of eminem's my name is as solid versus liquid round two progressed casey and the miscreants devised a way to up the ante when on november 4th she called chris and said she wanted him to meet her parents this was when casey handed her phone off to a fellow prankster posing as her father matthew it was almost immediately apparent that the point of this chat was to make christian as uncomfortable as possible every time he revealed a new detail about his life matthew would grill him on it and express his disapproval after enduring this for nearly an hour chris told matthew that he had crossed a line this did not go over well and the call ended with both casey and her father being upset the saga came to a head on november 10th when chris and casey had their final phone call christian remained largely silent as she grilled him about his behavior towards her father and how he had seemed to take no significant steps in improving his lifestyle she informed chris that she and liquid would be getting married soon and that she no longer wanted to be his friend later that day chris posted a tear-filled video giving casey and liquid his blessing congratulations on your wedding i wish you address unhappiness in the world the supposed reason for chris chan making this video was to share the other things he wanted to tell casey before she hung up on him it seemed like this ordeal had once again left chris emotionally destroyed but as casey even predicted it wouldn't be long until he had forgotten about all of this and moved on to his next big saga ah captain's live star date november 12 2009 it's no time for fan mail well not much fan mail as it is a little something from the virginia library at congress only a couple days after liquid chris had ended his storyline our protagonist uploaded a new video in which his mood seemed to have done a complete 180. christian happily displayed a letter showing he had officially registered the name sonichu with the virginia library of congress from the very beginning people had mocked the idea of sonic chew saying there was no way chris would be allowed to make money off of the characters without being sued by both nintendo and sega chris had always refuted this though saying that sonic chew was different enough from the pre-existing properties that it could stand on its own he seemed to believe that this registration completely validated him but it's important to note that it was far from a copyright on november 23rd chris noticed some new advertisements that were being showcased on wikipedia one depicted peter griffin from family guy supporting gay rights and the other showed a pickle man mascot promoting a contest for a free trip to mexico chris was irate that these messages were being displayed on his website and emailed the system's operator cogsdev to get them taken down in response the admin told him that there was nothing to be done as the ad space had been purchased legally by chris's old enemy jack thaddeus this opened a brand new door for trolls as they found yet another way to drive their target insane shortly thereafter chris uploaded a video asking his fans for donations in order to remove the ads strangely he chose to single out his european fans as it seemed he had recently developed a fascination with europe and its currency he also expressed his interest in finding official sponsors for the website with his eyes set on coca-cola as the months continued chris's fury at these gay pride ads only grew stronger in one video he even claimed that he taped pieces of paper to his computer screen so he didn't have to see them whenever he logged on to the site by the end of the year he had reached his limits editing wikipedia himself removing jack's ads and replacing them with fake advertisements for coke and the james cameron film avatar these were quickly taken down and chris was informed by cogsdev that they had received a cease and desist order from coca-cola although this was most likely a lie after this incident chris's administrative privileges were revoked also around this general time period chris began doing a daily mailbag on the quikipedia basically this was his opportunity to respond to fan emails speaking with them directly and answering their questions he would usually give short responses rarely more than a single sentence and many wondered if he actually cared at all about it or if it was just simply something cogsdev talked him into the most interesting bit of information from these though was the revelation that christian had a bizarre and irrational hatred of people with asperger's syndrome he seemed to believe that their struggles were nothing compared to those of people with autism and he despised the fact that the two were often lumped together this is when an artist by the name of alec benson leary created a comic called asperchu taking advantage not only of chris's hatred of asperger's but also his insistence that he owned the copyright to sonichu this comic was clearly a parody of chris in his life with the asperchu character even looking like christian these illustrations in the publication also included a human character that two had an uncanny resemblance to chris chan named ian brandon anderson upon discovering asperchu chris became enraged alec began emailing him apologetically trying to smooth things out between the two of them in these emails alec included art of asperchu and sonichu together which only angered chris further as he believed they were trying to portray the two as being in a homosexual relationship you have done wrong with this drawing it only depicts the opposite of straight you d.a there may be a human character coming into the books with asbergers but there will certainly never be a sonichu or rose chew with that ailment later in december chris received an email from a young man named evan claiming that chris had stolen his character and used it in his comic without permission evan was actually the first person to ever send chris sonichu fan art all the way back in 2008 among these drawings was one of evan's original sonichu character a hedgehog with drills for hands named simon shoe a short time later chris had introduced his own character with drills for hands named simon law the resemblance between the two was undeniable and it was obvious to any passive observer that chris had ripped off evan because of this he requested that chris kill off his simon law character but he vehemently refused calling evan a monster for even suggesting such a thing while he scoffed off evan's demand for now this would not be the end of the feud at the start of 2010 the ad space on the quikipedia once belonging to jack thaddeus was purchased by a new advertiser this would normally be a relief for chris that is if it wasn't for the person who had taken over the sponsorship alec benson leary who quickly co-opted chris's website to advertise asperchuk comics as well as his new website askpedia this spurned chris to create a video in which he raged against these advertisements he accused alec of being nothing more than a plagiarist and called asperchu a dirty parody of sonichu this was a strange choice of words for chris as in the past he had defended sonichu's existence with the very same parody reasoning as always chris emailed cogsdev to try to get these new ads taken down to no avail no matter how much he pleaded she would not budge claiming that alec had paid for the ad space all the way through the year and that chris would just have to live with it this only served to anger him further as he made another video a few days later threatening to ruin alec before punching the camera i'm gonna ruin you larry [Music] the longer alex adds stayed up on the quikipedia the angrier chris became on january 15th he posted another video directed at not just alec but a few of his friends as well these included asperpedia's webmaster mao ling sean august watley a frequent asperpedia contributor and evan together these men would later be known as the asperpedia iv the upload concludes with chris challenging all of them to a fight to decide once and for all who was superior he even read out his home address yet again so they could come face him directly as january continued chris posted more and more uploads about his hatred for alec and the asperpedia 4. in fact mere hours later he made a rant in which he spoke a spanish phrase backwards that he believed translated to love sonic chew and hate asperchu confused trolls were able to trace this back to an episode of the simpsons where a similar backward speaking tactic is used to try to brainwash people to join the navy on the 17th chris uploaded yet another video about his feelings toward alec in this one he reviewed the aspertue comic detailing every single thing he hated about it of course the main thing he took offense to was how it depicted him specifically citing the fact that asperchu had a quote-unquote buddha belly he went on to criticize its anti-religious themes as well as the excessive violence and nudity to that last point chris did address the fact that sonic chu had seen its fair share of nudity as well however he had defended it by stating it had all been censored seemingly ignoring the fact that he had originally posted it all uncensored the irate man concluded this video by claiming he would be getting the fbi involved in the case and telling alec that the spirit of his dog patty would haunt his nightmares and eat his soul after this chris and alec finally began communicating with each other directly over the phone their first conversation began on the subject of the promotions placed on the quikipedia surprisingly chris seemed ready to compromise on this matter saying he wouldn't mind so much if the ads were regulated only to the site's sidebars in addition he also said that he should be able to run his own ads on asperpedia just to make things fair to both of these points alex seemed to be willing to cooperate although it appears nothing much came of it these discussions the next moved on to the subject of alex use of sonichu characters in his comic chris demanded he stop or at least change their names but alex stood his ground for some reason the topic was shifted to alec and chris pointing out the various lore differences between the two universes such as the fact that in his world sonichu was a pokemon while in alex he was just a species of animal this led the troll to his next argument if chris insisted that sonichu was a pokemon how could he then claim to own the full copyright to him chris obviously had no answer to this question as he uncomfortably tried to shift the topic back to the original subject of the ads but alec continued pressing and eventually chris made up a lie about his cell phone running out of battery ending the discussion their next call would take place around a week later chris expressed his displeasure with the name asperchu on the grounds that it was mean towards the character he seemed to be arguing from the perspective that asperthu had the same feelings as a real person citing the film who framed roger rabbit to bolster his point when alec tried to make chris see that there was a difference between the thoughts and feelings of real people and fictional characters chris simply called him naive realizing that this conversation was going nowhere alex shifted the topic to chris's continued use of simon law in his comic despite evan's objections chris dug his heels in insisting that simon law had not been inspired in any way by simon chu alec pointed out by chris's own logic that there was a possibility asperchu was not based on sonichu on top of that he also read off of chris's official wikipedia page about simon law where he directly credited simon chu as being the basis for the character chris was once again backed into a corner and he was forced to say he would consider writing simon law out of his comic as these regular phone calls continued alec began asking chris to publicly apologize for the things he had said about the asperpedia4 he eventually relented to this point but alec was not happy with the apology he made as he spent most of the video expressing his continued frustration with the ads on the website it seemed to him that chris chan was not actually sincerely sorry and was only apologizing in the hopes that it would make alec remove his advertisements the second apology was equally poor he was at least able to name the things he was sorry for specifically the threats he made against alec and his theft of evan's simon shoe character he carefully worded it as to not technically give up the rights to simon law only simon chu as if this weren't enough just a few hours earlier chris had made a video cursing and threatening mao over new pro gay ads that were appearing on the quickipedia eventually alex stopped asking chris for more apology videos as it became increasingly clear that he would never learn his lesson the way the man spoke to chris was like a parent to disciplining a child unlike many of the other trolls who just wanted to see a reaction it seemed like alec had a genuine desire to make chris see the error of his ways but as you would soon discover this strategy didn't work february 25th 2010 was a big day in christian history as it marked to the publication of sonic shoe number 10 which would prove to be one of the most bombastic comics he had ever made because it attempted to exact revenge on practically every troll who had ever wronged him over the past year the story opens with chris being released from the time void he had been trapped in several issues prior he detailed what had transpired while he was away how he had traveled to the future and met his wife a woman named lovely weather she was a scientist working on a vaccine for homosexuality which she was finally able to complete using a sample of chris's pure straight blood chris then traveled back to the present and used the vaccine on his nemesis nateserk turning him heterosexual again and as a result redeeming his character later in the issue chris stated that he meant no offense to his homosexual fans and that he only included this plot point in order to convince his trolls that he wasn't gay it didn't work next he grabbed his trusty guitar hero controller which transformed him from a drawing to a photograph of himself chris and his band the hedgehog boys played his original song revive zordon a power rangers parody of cat scratch fever by ted nugent the tune was played so loud that it caused the 4-cent garbage building to crumble as everything collapsed around them clyde cash and jack thaddeus grabbed one another by the hand and fell to their deaths in chris's mind this was meant to humiliate them implying that they were gay just before killing them off to his dismay though most readers thought this came off as a surprisingly touching and tragic end to the two characters once the tower came down chris lamented the fact that the trolls forced him to do such a thing and added the detail that there were fifteen hundred people inside the four cent garbage headquarters when it was destroyed the final part of the story came when chris traveled to the home of alec benson leary and wiped all of the contents of asperpedia from the internet despite the fact that this issue was all about him getting back at the trolls he did use this section to somewhat honor the wishes of alec and evan by killing off simon law yet he did this in his own spiteful way depicting evan as the one to kill her by planting an exploding pokemon in her bathroom following the lengthy courtroom scene the entire asparpedia iv were found guilty of simon law's murder and sentence to death each of them received a different grisly fate alec was put in an electric chair with 10 of chris's characters simultaneously pushing the button to end his life evan was chained to a wall and sliced to pieces by simon law's husband and her recently born daughter sandy shawn was also chained to a wall and shot multiple times leaving his body bloody and riddled with bullets finally chris personally used his psychic powers to mutilate and butcher mao upon reading this alec called the comic book creator once again this time to talk about his shock at how he and his friends were depicted in sonic 2 10. he asked chris if he understood the hypocrisy of showing such gratuitous violence in his comic when he had previously criticized asperchu for the same thing but chris defended himself by saying he had only done it because of how angry he was that they made him kill simon law to that point alec mentioned that chris had effectively broken his end of the agreement by introducing the character of sandy who was basically just a new version of evan's creation chris of course disagreed and this arguing ultimately went nowhere this would be their final phone call are you positive you really understand how i feel about you mr han's ass burger yeah i feel disliked towards you for selfishly putting your ill name in association with autism at the same time he was dealing with the asperpedia iv chris had also begun attending a young adult social club in hopes of meeting new people and drumming up more interest in sonic chew it was here that he met a young woman who he referred to as the wallflower in order to respect her wishes of remaining anonymous on the internet the two of them seemed to hit it off quite well at first although she was quick to inform christian that she was not looking for a relationship and only wanted to be friends chris being chris however still thought it would be a good idea to escalate things the now 28 year old man and the wallflower emailed back and forth frequently over the coming months and eventually decided to start collaborating on a fantasy story together during this correspondence chris continued to try to get closer with her this only served to make the young woman more uncomfortable though as she requested chris limit the visits he had apparently been making to her home i don't want to sound mean or anything but i would like some space between visits i like you and you're nice but i only just met you i am in no mood for an actual relationship and during the once a month thing i want to visit with the other young adults too on march 9th chris posted a custom level he had been making on the game little big planet titled the guardians of the owl kingdom this was meant as an adaptation of the fantasy story he had begun writing with wallflower in the level's description a christian referred to as co-writer by her online name damien antaria the trolls were quickly able to use this information to track down the wallflower's true identity and decided to email her a link to the quickie to put it mildly she was horrified that her private information had been discovered and was even more disturbed by the things she read on the site she emailed chris furious about the entire situation demanding he find some way to remove all the info about her from the internet chris tried to explain blaming the trolls for all his problems and concluded his email by saying he loved her which seemed to be the last straw i don't love you and i hate you for this everything was fine until i met you i don't know why i took up mom's offer to go to the social club i had enough friends here at home and on the internet as chris was reeling from yet another loss of a gal pal he received an email from a troll calling himself surf shack tito claiming to be the one who sent the wallflower the link to the quickie he differentiated himself from the other trolls by taking on the persona of a pre-established character from the cartoon or rocket power often ending his emails with the same words of wisdom given by his fictional counterpart on the show chris decided to email the wallflower in order to warn her about this new nickelodeon themed troll but she still wanted nothing to do with him telling chris that she had a boyfriend now although this was most likely a lie so he'd leave her alone for some reason chris assumed that her new boyfriend was tito going so far as to post a video threatening him in the hopes of getting the wallflower back despite her wishes to remain anonymous chris accidentally said the wallflower's real name had twice in this upload this upload is also memorable because chris decided to wear a kilt and blast celtic music in the background while threatening his new foe this was because of the wallflower's love of the band celtic woman later that day he uploaded another video directed at the poor young girl begging her not to leave him he started by expressing his confusion over the fact that she had a new boyfriend even though she had told him multiple times that she was not interested in a relationship he then sang a cover of avril lavigne's hit song girlfriend except he changed the lyrics to i don't like your boyfriend chris continued his attack on surf shack tito over the following days he sent him many threatening emails including a photograph of himself flipping off his enemy on march 17th this hit a boiling point when chris uploaded one more video directed at his nemesis and if you go near her again and i will find you i will find you i will cut you up i'll beat you up i'll knock you on your backside stand on your gun like a log roller and roll your fat right to your skull run it wide open because that's what you deserve you goddamn woman knives and raping trolling stupid pickle suited this video horrified the current owner of the quikipedia ad space who as a result decided to give it back to the asperpedia4 somehow in the transition though alec and his friends got editing access to the quikipedia with a short opening to wreak havoc before being booted they quickly began answering all the mailbag emails on the wiki and made a blog post pretending to be chris coming out of the closet they then opened editing to the public which caused the site to be ruined beyond repair shortly after quickipedia was locked down completely on march 21st chris posted a video reflecting on the events of the past few days he blamed tito for everything taking no personal responsibility for his behavior including saying the n-word he also referred to the wallflower yet again as his girlfriend showing that he still did not understand she never had any romantic interests regarding him the video concludes with him stating that he had let the trolls ruin too much of his life and would be leaving the internet permanently for nearly two years at this point chris had been the target of non-stop trolling the miscreants really had turned the man's world into a cartoon there was a seemingly never-ending parade of villains each with their own quirks and gimmicks most of the time having the goal to make chris's life a living hell some did seem to make a genuine effort to snap him out of this delusion but by that point it was too late even after chris's recorded farewell the ever-growing audience watching these shenanigans unfolds knew it wasn't a question of if he would come back but when and as they all had a good chuckle at the most recent misadventures of this troubled autistic comic creator little did they realize that eventually christian's life would be ruined beyond repair leading even the most ardent of his trolls to wonder if they had finally gone too far do you like any food yeah sure yeah india i could go for indian taste of india that's one of my favorite places oh taste of india it smells good in here yeah i mean it's pretty empty oh boy i'm gonna okay now i just i just feel like i have to do this first time in here i feel like i gotta do this hello my name is appu i wouldn't do no no no no no no no no no no no you don't have to do that that's right welcome to quickie mart hello hello hey first time coming here this is a lovely place i'm surprised i mean i walked the mall many many times and didn't think of coming in here feels really good smells good do you like indian food i keep an open mind for all kinds of food so i mean if there's something i don't like then well at least i tried it once and i'd definitely be open-minded for trying some haggis if i ever go to visit scotland or something what is haggis sheep goods i never noticed this but oh susanna don't you cry for me with the banjo and my twenty-five twenty five point twenty twenty uh excuse me is it possible that we can get a picture right yes yeah can we get a picture yes do you want me to take it for you guys yeah that'd be great thank you so much i couldn't believe it i saw you and i was like that's awesome yes hello there you go thank you so much it was great to meet you nice to meet you too thank you have a good day take care it doesn't it doesn't happen often when it does it's very humbling yeah so you don't get people coming up to you too often i say on average probably like watch it twice a month okay but it's it's very humbling and good when it happens happens anyway that was one side of the park with the statue it would come up on the other side of the park and on the side of the street where the library is at right there right and i'm going to get into the love oh yeah it's good yeah all right [Music] do [Music] you

Channel: TheGamerFromMars

Views: 1,668,224

Keywords: thegamerfrommars, internet culture, Chris Chan, Christian Weston Chandler, Sonichu, Documentary, Part 3, Liquid Chris, clyde cash, ChrisChan, Chris-Chan

Id: eewTeCROOBg

Length: 94min 7sec (5647 seconds)

Published: Sat Apr 02 2022