"José Jalapeño's bad day" | Arguing with Myself | JEFF DUNHAM

i understand you guys had a good day today yes they had a great day no we did not yes no yes no we did not have a good day yes we had a great freaking third [Music] did you have a good day yeah no shut up a good day yes no shut up you're supposed to have taken him to the spa i took him to the store he put me in the vegetable steamer it's the same thing same thing it is too it gets hot and then it gets steamy and then it goes sting purple bastard mexican condiment a condiment i do not use them you don't and neither did your mother oh that's funny right now that is funny [Applause] whoa that was really good you got to work on it a little though why because from here it sounded like it came out of my ass [Applause] now i have somewhere to put my steak oh yo your mother's a corn dog on the stick all right look jose are you happy senora i'm happy good what the hell is happy are you always happy i'm not happy on halloween oh what the hell is wrong with halloween [Music] [Applause] there are no costumes on the stick he could be a fudge sickle anything else happen today no see damn what else happened how we're getting out of the car today out of the car what happened he slammed my stick in the door and now i have the source peanut did you apologize why because i couldn't i couldn't breathe why couldn't you breathe because he was laughing too [Applause] man hard was funny he looked like a horde and then some tackled down like you're just gonna have to apologize i gotta get all right i'll say i'm sorry he's okay okay i hope you die you could just have to be nicer to him i didn't say uh starsted what are you doing i'm sticking to jose in his native tongue we don't do that why not the well that makes me feel left out [Applause] i don't speak spanish [Applause] [Music] picture if you will look who's there an unusual kind of guy what makes you happiest in life like bmw he has a bmw yeah big mexican woman on the stick jose would you feel better in the box east lost nicer than deluxe okay whoa oh dude i thought you're gonna drop them though jeez that would have been funny as hell do not drop me senor i won't drop you jose i let in the jose jalapeno on the floor do a little tap dance we got salsa that's terrible not the right kind of chips it's not stop it [Applause] i'm sorry jose he's okay okay i kick his ass later i'll turn your ass into guacamole stop it i'll stir you with your own sticks this is the way we stir the cockster the clocks third o'clock i'm sorry jose it's okay okay don't close the door why not the cockroaches you have cockroaches in there one big one a big one on the stick here what i need to come back out i have to go in with the show jose you stay right there senor what i need to come back out you can't come back at least to see the senoritas what i want to see the girls what girls indie girls what makes you think a girl would want to see you jose has this [Applause] i'm what you call a player in a management profession right pimp fourthly at our age yeah that's come down to hey wake up have you ever had an intervention yeah and penicillin cleared it right up what the hell's going on our guy sucks [Applause]

Channel: Jeff Dunham

Views: 33,447,046

Keywords: Jeff Dunham, Jose Jalapeno on a Stick, Peanut, Purple Woozle, Jeff Dunham: Arguing With Myself (Film), José Jalapeño On A Stick (Film Character), Special, Stand-up Comedy (TV Genre), Comic, Comedian, Funny, Hilarious, Humor, Comedy Central, Ventriloquist, Dummy, Puppet, Good Day, Bad Day, Sauna, Comedy, achmed, all over the map, america's got talent, arguing with myself, bubba j, christmas special, controlled chaos, dvd, family, jose, melvin, merde, movie, spark of insanity, stand-up, trump, walter

Id: 0SRonXlRHXk

Length: 5min 48sec (348 seconds)

Published: Mon Feb 02 2015