That '70s Show Every Circle In Chronic-logical Order

so his red still thing about giving you the car maybe even if we do get it we're gonna need some serious gas money because the cruisers a boat I know it's a boat so gas shortage bytes we're getting a boat there is no gas shortage man it's all fake the oil companies control everything like there's this guy who invented this car that runs on water man it's got the fiberglass air-cooled engine and runs on water so he'd either butt no it's a car when you put water in the gas tank instead of gas and it runs our water man I never heard of this car hey Jackie's good for gas money you are such a [ __ ] whether the book get here horn Donna beat you in basketball is this true addict yeah but is that a big deal of course not let's Donna happens to be you know a girl especially a girl you love you know in my country if a woman beats you it makes her want you really yes a business America was Swiss worse worse worse worse what's with y'all so cows off would you stop that wait wait what about Kelso I mean Jackie has him totally whipped rib like the family pig I am NOT pig whipped where do you even get that stuff are you kidding Micah come here hey Michael do your Chico impression Michael rub oiled on my thighs while I thank you someone else took now I thought about it and I'm going in the disco just on the off chance that they might mix up a little rock and roll man yeah well I have something to say I went to the mall today I bought a pair new shoes and they're the coolest kicks in the cave so no more for Kelso he's toasted with ice I'm toast if you are making some a food of any kind will be good I am starving oh I read somewhere there are these people in India who fast yeah their minds are so advanced they can actually think themselves to death I'm not doing that right now My Mind's always doing things that I don't even know about you always think of so many brilliant things down here I can't remember any of them the brilliant man someone go make toast right now hey we should record our conversation man yeah then we could play it back and write it down I'll bet that's how the writers of National Lampoon do it yeah well I read somewhere that there's these people in France what do they do you see they're incredibly the French see that's brilliant man I'll get in the tape recorder where's my toast you idiots hey I'm telling you I hear it it will be singing backwards on the record devil man is Congress they passed a secret law to put backward messages in our records man they want to kill rock and roll because they know it makes us hard Eman doesn't this is pretty much everything make us horny cartoons make me hearty oh and food when you play the record backwards you can hear that they will speak I'm starting to hear him everywhere yes so say for Samuelson is Satan is your master Fez Worsham see [Music] before you worship Satan get him a cherry pop and I can save the cherry pop get Satan a cherry pop give me a pop best man give me a pop oh I'm sorry I misunderstood same jacket choices wrote there so Forman man I'm sorry about tonight with Donna baby your dinner will be cool man yeah man we've got to be look we've been friends since kindergarten no girls gonna come between us that's great man so um if that ever breaks up with you and start dating me are we still French [Music] no tonight I learned there's a price to be paid for doing it she said forever man and I think she meant it instead of my mouth feels like cotton as if cut them was in my mouth also men women are like muffins okay and once you've had a muffin man you will put up with anything to have another muffin what you really owe you man I you sure know a lot about women but I mean you've never really had a steady girl friends so what's that all about I'll tell you what that's all about forming my mind is pure man I don't fall victim to the female race I'm here sans girlfriend help you guys out didn't have a question like how much masturbation is too much no such thing is too much fast [Music] so Donna says David in her just good friends now if I don't believe that and she's gonna think that I don't trust her I think maybe you should let David have Donna I mean they look so nice together see this is why your country lost the war I can't they never fought a war yeah big surprise you know for me I'm a romantic so I say you choke him till his eyes pop out yeah bitten people is cool I don't know if I hit this guy Donna's just gonna be pissed man chicks dig that stuff I mean Leia right she acted like she was mad at huh but I could tell she liked him so man what are you an idiot later likes Luke I mean she kissed him on that bridge just for luck [Music] guys I have a real problem here oh I got it maybe you should let Damon have Donna because I mean they look so nice together I mean here you're the cool guy but do you know how many cool guys live in New York there's like Lou Reed man that's with that what do you want to leave pointless it is fun it is fun man then I'm gonna miss the hell out of you guys but Cris she's cool and it's the Big Apple man hey do you think blue Reed's in the phone book cuz I bet he really liked me where are you going who's crazy it's not so bad here man we got the TV and peanut butter and I got this thing don't the ball park rolled under the dryer I do cannot leave you gave me my first beer remember and then I throw up on that cup that was a good time man wait a minute back up nobody tells me anything what's the ball doing under the dryer my mom is gone and he is going downhill I mean he's sitting over there in the dark you didn't catch up off crackers I hate gum off a parking meter once but it was on a dare made a dollar man there's some suckers out there grab good think a tub I K woods which makes him naturally funny god I can feel like all the molecules in my body I'm gonna count them one two three you guys disgust me does anyone care about hide oh my god run Scooby now run it's freaking me out I saw Jackie sick without makeup and it was like the freakiest thing I've ever seen in my entire entire life including the class trip to the sausage factory hi if I never see the inside of another car it will be too soon yoky 1819 I have the biggest dad's in the world dammit one so it's mom's gone and I know he doesn't want any help but the Donner Party didn't get any help and then they ate each other's they don't bugger at the turkey no parents would be cool like the Lord of the Flies you ever finished Lord of the Flies no so ho nothing look what are we gonna do about hide I think we should tell someone what am I gonna do about Jackie I can't even look at her she's competition with utilities so I can only imagine how she looks like hey Kel so Jackie's Jackie's my friend and you're shallow and pathetic and you know what else my hands are huge Boxey loves I am the greatest okay chance whatever you I'm glad the planets closing it frees me up to do my own thing do my own thing Oh read your own thing that's so hip I love so I like that word hip it kind of pops you know yeah hip hip I can see my own mouth you know what's beautiful fruitcake the different colored little fruits living on it together in one cake hey Jim dad the cake once I also like sweet but there's just something about salt hip it starts to lose its meaning after a while you know it's not even a word oh my god listen you can hear my heart oh my god there it is again no that's someone at the door maybe it's your clock it's just someone for the garage sale take whatever you want it won't fill the hole in your life you know for a terrible Grouch red is great in bed I'm sorry Easter's on its way where'd you go red well I was hopping down the old bunny trail and this guy offered me $200 for the Vista Cruiser so I sold it to him you sell Derek's car oh no oh let's new Kelso there I mean nothing so Eric isn't your sister hot in fact Kelso I think you're the only loser here who thinks she is hot not true I have picture her naked hundreds of times but if this morning I was taking a shower Behr's man it is absolutely inappropriate and disrespectful to talk about how hot somebody else's sister is no matter how bad you want to give it to her what is it boy is there trauma there's something you want to tell us about Eric's sister what I I mean she took advantage of me I'm violated you idiot your thumbs are still up back that's hard shut up perch that's my sister come on I know it is for beating the boo doodle 18 it's not ironic that titillating has the word tit in it I swear to god you say one more word about my sister I'm gonna tell Jackie this huge [ __ ] anchor tied around your neck me it could happen yeah last night I was with Jackie tonight I'll be with Laurie it's just kind of life that a stud like being needs Kelso your mascaras running damn she told me it was waterproof the man said here's your daughter's sweater she left it in my car last night and the woman said why that's impossible my daughter died 10 years ago bring that very sweater so so she was dead and he gave her a ride and she was dead when I was six the mayor of our town was hung from a tree your story was not scooty scary the ghost of a dead girl gave him her sweater what is it ghost me with a sweater man maybe it's to keep her guts from falling out you can do it was not scary because Michael inna here and I run screaming for the door where's it written that a guy has to protect this girl huh and I'll have you know the defendant form of my name is Michelle look Michelle I don't want to come out in favor of saving Jackie but that's the price you pay for docking your love Bo and Jackie by Arta okay so Ichabod Crane lived in the village of Sleepy Hollow wait don't tell me he left his jacket somewhere okay so it was brave of you to come back we gave you quite a ribbing this time I brought hot fresh pizza but it's a look for my friends you don't make fun of me mmm Kelso man I got a thousand insults and nope it's gonna make is that sausage really a bastard guys let me ask you something Donna told me she loves me and then I told her our love cake that's not bad is it perhaps I'm so cool right okay I don't know what happened I just panicked and it popped out I mean I don't remember wanting to ever talk about cake if I wasn't really that hungry cake is good but you can that have sex with cake of course you cannot have sex with Donna either so yeah man you should have just lied and told her that you loved her I love you baby scene I don't love you isn't that great he does love her you dope right okay well if I admit it you guys can make fun of me for where the glove is not a joke this is a joke neck neck who's there no if you really do love her there's only one thing to do man you got a dump burn it free don't listen to him man he's stupid here's what you gotta do she said it's no you gotta say then she'll say it back then everything will be okay oh and get her pizza cuz right now kind of love Kelsie I can do that I'll just say it'll be back on top again all right so now uh where was I when Fonzie here moved to town shame to admit this but I got a job yeah I'm thinking about getting a job at a chip Factory I don't know how to do this let me get a job he says if I don't study hard and get into college once I turn 18 he's gonna kill me how do they ever stop to think how you working will make me go to the mall alone today did you know sorry hey guys check this out of it Foreman had Donna in his bed last night and he didn't even do it you're a bonehead man I'm not a bonehead I mean we did other stuff than we cuddled it was great sometimes when I'm alone I just love Tokaido she climbed the trellis of your house through your window to get into bed with you and cuddle sorry man I never read that letter penthouse the stories are true you know why would you just cuddle with her when you could do it Firmin doing it is it that's why they call it it because it was just one night there gonna be lots of other nights edek opportunity does not knock and then ring the doorbell and then look again and then they might notice hey sorry I missed you and they called you on the phone area weekend offense and we get it but my foreign friend here is trying to say Foreman is that you blew it man and you blew it man lose my patience with you man get with her I mean there's nothing more beautiful than when two people fit together perfectly like we're like two of these potato is busted this is and I don't think I'm exaggerating here the greatest day in the history of time except maybe the day cheese was invented Wow man she's gotten one day and she's already got a new guy Kelsey you heartbreaker you now I'm having a horrible day nor he's gone and Jack he's all suspicious of me and I'm getting no loving none I can't be me without loving no so if you want to keep Jackie man and trust me you don't okay let's practice oh you fool around Lori you know idea dumbass no man completely not like Watergate learn floor outlawry yeah be good I know wait I mean yeah you know see this isn't gonna work it's just so perfect if I could go back in time I just relive that moment over and over again hi Daddy hey daddy [Applause] it's too exactly the cheese danish she leaves you for another man whoever he might be no hard feelings in a nanny tacky sweet luscious you are an evil little Thorin men they'll never change that's alright I'll help you out with Jackie man I'll talk you through the whole thing step-by-step thanks man you know I guess it was wrong what I did with Laurie but I was just amusing myself you know that's the key to life right never stop amusing yourself and this it starts to chafe you should take a week off almost is it right so boy am I disappointed I went to get my money but someone stole it so forget the fake gold necklace from Sears now I got to get Donna a crappy gift hey what would you guys rather see Jackie do walk a tightrope or ride a mechanical bull well either way she'll fall on our ass I like them both so Eric which rat-bastard do you think I stole your money well I mean it's anyone's guess for all I know I mean it could be someone in this very room oh how exciting I mean sweetie it's face a suspect yeah probably not fess why not I can be able hate you Oh a dick I don't hate you I know you I'm sorry that's okay fess and I'm also pretty sure Kelso here didn't take it how long you guys think Jackie could hold her breath gee inspector so if it isn't Kelso and it isn't Fez I wonder who you could suspect dillhole oh hi I'd say you took it you guys know what a funny word is pickle weasel perform and then say I didn't take it you are bullets bringing me down why don't you just say you didn't take it I shouldn't have to say I didn't look just tell me you didn't and I'll totally trust you even what's a funny word pickle weasel how about I tell you this go to hell Foreman oh my god Jack you should club dance we can't lose what's with some delicious birds you tame number so you caught those birds with just a whistle and a stick very impressive fence yeah you know that's a good way to hunt is even if you don't get anything you still have all the fun of a whistle on a stick I'll take the keychain give it to midge a little memento I feel good about that Bob mitch is nice yep we all like midge midge has nice jugs what no you said something no I didn't so what's up with your hair huh I am one with nature right now thanks for the pheasant Fez pheasant Fez yes beautiful black pheasants black pheasants wait presidents aren't black black is beautiful I wish Jackie was black did you feed us vests they were pheasants in front of cipro you're not supposed to eat a crow man we just brought some bad juju on us all we need somebody's soul man I know I have eaten someone's delicious soul they good news guys I found my gun man red went ballistic on me I mean I want to keep the job but I really don't want to wear my ass for a hat cuz you know he said he could do that and I believed him come on farmer fight the power man okay I can have your room after red kills you although I'm not sure an asshat is fatal I know what will be a good job for me gigolo [Music] and lovingly sober now pay me some more he's been talking a lot lately right she's saying she wants a relationship you know and I kept waiting for the dirty part dirty part never came well so I have a real problem here okay I'd like to talk about that right you know dating two girls wasn't supposed to be like this it was supposed to be a Mike Owen I've been thinking about your problem with Donna after hours of serious consideration it still makes me laugh hey give Eve Eric alone all right he's our friend and he needs our help and this is most desperate hour I'm with you buddy Semper Fi Jeep Kelso why the sudden change of heart oh maybe it's because the Apollo rocket of love blew up all over the launch pad when suitable for Scooby doing his gang of cartoon teenagers you know guys sometimes I wish we were cartoon teenagers joint will be super fast if God had meant for virgins to lose it to other virgins he wouldn't have given us middle-age hookers man amen brother because if there's one thing men like us know it's how to have sex oh I cannot live with this lie everyone prepared to be shocked I face I'm still a virgin gosh my world no longer makes sense now the middle-aged hooker ship has sailed what am I supposed to do well I know I got a lot better when I start making it with your sister you should make it with my sister hello man I've seen your sister she's a virgin and she's gonna be for a long time what are you saying well I think he's saying okay maybe you did not hear me fess the man you all revere I still not had sex yeah for the first time Foreman you've got to figure out what you're doing wrong man and fast you know what women call guys who are lame in the sack just friends but you can't let the pressure get to you I mean don't think about how embarrassing to be if you tried and you couldn't she'd stare at you with those cruel black eyes as if to say they're not really a man Michael not a man at all no okay well this has been really helpful guys all right you called my bluff I am not really aware then yes I am man you must be in tons of pain chief buzzed out pain pills seen his loves his pills sure was a pill I could take get rid of my pain forget about Jackie pill hell if they made that pill I'd take it no sir man this is what you get for trying to do the right thing I do know a secret I'm not wearing anything under my dress put that away yeah it just sucks when you try to do the right thing then she yells at you for killing her yeah Eric you don't know how lucky you are I'll give anything to be able to tell Jackie I killed her cat nothing sadder than when two people break up except this time when it's funny by the way Eric if your mom ever says ready for your catheter the answer is no I miss Jackie I can't sleep I can't think I could still eat but my life has no meaning I'm dead inside oh so that's what meals yeah mr. broken heart when was the last time you took a bath man Jamie and I am so glad Donna's not Jackie but I'll tell you what I'm even more glad I'm not you got it one Jackie back I got it I'll write her a song maybe the best way to get Jackie back is to let her date other people foreign exchange people oh man I think a song is a really great idea how about this one you don't love me anymore you caught me cheating with a [ __ ] see cuz Laurie's the [ __ ] you get it my sister is such a [ __ ] Jackie a song I gotta win her back because I can't stop the teachers me we've been over this there's no crying in the circle you should really go to church Eric cuz God he sees everything so I live my life good and pure because when you were dating two girls at the same time yeah but God didn't see that I was in my van he can't see to admit I want to get into a religious argument but my God can kick your guts ass god is dead man said so in Time magazine no I said next to God once on the bus you told me the meaning of life and then he gave me a pretzel so what's the meaning of life man yeah I get that you two written it down but it's a good pretzel yeah maybe this life doesn't even matter you know maybe we're not even here for no maybe I'm here but you're not hello you know what the best thing God ever did was boobs yes and God said Let there be boobs and then they were boobs hey God is all-powerful can he make a boob so big that even he can't lift it that's a good question yeah I'll ask him next time I'm on the bus I just realized Jackie's short and I don't like short people they're freaky always sneaking up on you you know I was with maybe it's because she's a tiny little [ __ ] I meant to hurt you but I heard myself because I loved her I really cracked red up today and not by tripping or getting wet or vomiting you bump your head that's good stuff no I just made a joke and he just got it I mean at work we're like just two guys brought together by the common goal of slashing prices and all your household needs plus I mean it is so great to see him chew out other people a foreman now you know how we feel when he yells at you it really is hilarious man you get all bug-eyed fellas I've been thinking there's a lot of ladies out there right now I haven't seen nearly enough of them naked sometimes I am looking at naked ladies and then I get exhausted I get a second win and then I'm ready for more naked ladies it's like at work there's this guy Earl and he's a real screw-up right so red gets pretty P ode but that deflects all of Reds anger from me so I mean Earl's like a dumbass lightning rod I hear that man yeah I'll only work with the barely competent it takes the stress out of slacking off man it feels great to be free of that [ __ ] it's like the world is my oyster and I'm ready to shuck it the hot new ladies from here on in I want to be boldly going where no man's gone before and the rest of dinner was eaten in complete silence the only sound was the dull throbbing of that vein and Reds giant shiny head boy I'm glad I'm not canceled sure he's had sex a lot and I'm still a virgin but why wish I was canceled no you don't fess being Kelso is like knowing the truth behind all the deception in society but not being able to convince any of your fellow suburban clones that anything's wrong man no wait that's me [Applause] I just totally forgot why I was laughing [Laughter] okay no more for the cheerleader okay second you seem different I don't know if with your hair your outfit or your red puffy eyes she's an man taking her under my wing running a dojo of coolness Jackie demonstrate that's her first day I don't know what's gotten into Jackie Steven let's hang out Simeon let's go to the mall my life's a living hell you know no Steven and I tease each other that's the best friends do you know what I love showing my butt Erik says I'd like to show it and I'd like to shake it Donna I can totally respect that just be careful though or they'll call you a homewrecker I can count the number of homes I've wrecked on one hand don't worry ladies because no one's gonna label you here if you guys want to take off some clothes and shake some stuff feel free not you I wouldn't call you a homewrecker Lauri no I'd call you a [ __ ] shake shake shake shake shake your booty yeah that's good stuff man who'd have thought I'd gettin busted for possession I mean I just thought be like armed robbery or pimping yeah something cool yeah hide in jail hey guys do you think he's anyone's girlfriend yet okay so he's been angel for three hours of course he's someone's girlfriend he has very pretty eyes well if he was someone's girlfriend I think it might look a little something like this yeah hey there curly Q would you like to perform an unspeakable act on me or would you prefer that I perform one on you well they both sound good dealer's choice you have done a horrible thing with a children's toy huh bet you didn't want me to see this did you man we were worried about I'm sorry I'm just I'm so sorry yeah uh you know curly Q is can be is a term of endearment so when do we meet your new fella Jackie dating him at the time of the day I hate the stupid magazine oh no I didn't mean it I love you hey first check this out tight pants turn a man's derriere into a lady's dream and an open shirt shows a sexy chest and an irresistible aah Davey Bailey I always thought my joy they'd be wetting my pants okay I can't believe I'm asking you guys this but if any of you losers had a girlfriend would you still look at those magazines hey I had two girlfriends and a little action on the side it still looked at those magazines you had action on the side cool yeah you don't know her she went to Sacred Heart okay anybody here have an opinion who's not a skeevy Pig I'm glad you asked Donna if I had Jackie I will never look at those magazines found there she's on the phone for went shopping took a short nap look Donna this is just the way guys are okay I mean if Forman was actually dating the the naughty campus coeds he'd be locked in a bathroom looking at naked pictures of you he's right so they're naked pictures of you Donna saw Shelley practically living in my lap how could she not be jealous is because we're decent good-hearted impure you know it's easy barn I think what we need here some input from tater nuts a big tear next Eric this hey stop calling me ten bucks tell it's not jealous I mean it means basically you're on the frame clear she's giving you the okay to cheat you got cheap tater nuts makes sense I mean sure I could be was chilly right now if I wanted to so why shouldn't I because then you would have two other ones that people have none I forgot it Foreman you're not a cheater you know wise man once said know thyself my man's name was tater nuts I'll be honest with you guys okay I I do shave my legs feels so it turns out my super sensitive guy boyfriend wants me to be a baby machine but dillhole sitting right here that's why I said EODs ill hole Donna the only reason I thought she'd stay home with the babies because only every woman has done it for the entire history of time so don't be mad at me be mad at your four mothers that is so typical as if every woman wants to spend her life as a pampered housewife raising kids and organizing the help what isn't that what every woman wants Donna man Foreman's just limited by his experiences as the voice of a new generation of smart independent women you need to make this dillhole realize that a mind and spirit like yours has more options than your mother's hat yeah sorry what I found it so are we cool [Laughter] I miss my funnel [Music] Eric drink okay I was tattoo I lived on Fantasy Island my fantasy would be to not be a [ __ ] meeny miny for me you know hi at first I thought your dad was a real dirtbag but I've come to realize there's a fine line between dirtbag and father of the year Danny honest I've never played quarters before so I probably stink oh happy day this is the worst game in the world I'm so thirsty damaged drink I mean he lives on Fantasy Island man and he's a [ __ ] it's so obvious [Music] anyone else feel kind of woozy what the hell man if I make you shut I promise I will not beat you Eric I think you attica the sparkle I know best thing about this joke it just keeps going and going and not only do we break the law we screwed our friends while breaking the law how dumb was he to give me the car keys here trust me thank you know what stolen food does taste better guys I feel bad about Eddie candana maybe we should figure out a way to help him sure we could do that or we can ask ourselves help me make this worse I haven't seen Don in two days she's been spending all her time at the radio station it's a real problem oh well here we go again Foreman's got a problem do you know what maybe I got a problem and you ever think of that oh man all right I'm sorry go ahead man unload it actually I'm cool and that's how you do you have a problem and you hold it in man the leather up fruitcake I have a problem but I guess I'll keep it all inside hey you guys so Leo agreed to sell me the El Camino for like 500 bucks so what I need from you is a 500 bucks I'm hide I don't feel anything I'm just a frizzy-haired robot hey for me is the same voice to imitate everybody it's just tonight I nothing suddenly you're face to face with the dragon of fear should have worn my god little ogre strength any ideas mend our cancelation but it's chancy yeah you know a girl once promised to play with us but she didn't show up cheer up Kings aunt are the great let's get out there and slay that dragon it's not his fault okay I didn't make a red that big goofy underwear no sorry but if you're hanging out this crowd you got to know that eventually your pants are getting pulled down all right I am so glad I did not pull down Caroline's pants I mean if she asked me to I would because I respect her wishes so I am so horny woman when I told you to be funny to give down a panties I'm gonna be funny to me it was this is what happened in my heart I found out Laurie was cheating on lemon do this okay I really thought we had something probably the same way you did the Jackie only this time it's even funnier because it's you this is a good day tonight I am going to ask Caroline to go steady with me because that is the last day before you can do it right oh how I want to do it so horny I'm gonna tell you something I'm gonna pitted [Laughter] [Laughter] much better yeah now instead of feeling scared and anxious I feel relaxed and relaxed I know we're probably gonna get beaten but it was worth it because we show we have tremendous school spirit [Laughter] school spirit is for losers man you're just like floating along on a conveyor belt of conformity pep rallies extracurricular activities washing your hair it's all just a trap man yeah Phares it's one thing to root for a football team but to confuse the point place Vikings with a sense of personal identity that's just relaxing [Music] she's cool man it's like I can do anything wrong and then ask for forgiveness and then I'm good again someone should have been a religion like that okay so did anyone besides me think that some of the guys in that movie or not completely average you know way way above well you don't go into that line of work when you're below average just praise some hot red-headed neighbor girl likes you for your personality what are you talking about those men were completely average in fact I found the guy with a message downright puny now this that's not honest I mean we all know you're small in the pants what I'm saying is it's from here on in I'm only telling the truth in fact I'm gonna come clean to Jackie about everything fine you want honesty I'll give you honesty we are all small in the pants so this might be your best idea ever you know what you should make a list of all the lies you've ever told the Jackie and I'll help you because all I really want is for you to be happy you guys honestly you don't think Donna's you know bored right so those guys in the movie they didn't do the same move twice and I've done the same move like always bet they go to a special school or something they're like doctors are doing it alright dinner oh no no I have to act normal I get to eat yeah these brownies are wonderful silly don't you just love those dried mint flakes someone Sultan to me up the street I don't think these are mint flakes I'm fired hey guys I'm planning to do guys after I made something I love Ann Marie she puts me in the mood so guys next time instead of going to Canada let's just stay here and pretend we're in Canada so how's it going eh hey you know Fonzie ever played a Mountie on happy days here you go a good the ring of love just holding it makes me feel mellow and content actually that might not be the ring why is everybody but fast in love I don't got some romance soon I'm going to get myself a blister well another grifter tell you what Fez we're gonna take you cruising for chicks in the El Camino and then let you buy the gas buy my dinner and if we meet a chick I'm gonna let you walk home guys what if Jackie doesn't want to wring from a guy like me I mean sure I'm good-looking but he trusts it no you guys are the perfect couple you do the bad stuff and she tries to catch you she's smoky - you're bandit yeah it's like that movie applies to everything I just I wish there was a way I could give Jackie a thing there wasn't actually the ring you know like a test gift just to see what she would say and then if it went bad I could just walk away hey am I talking to Ron I just had to do that all the time this is really I've really missed we have breaking news I'm toasted and they pay me gobs of money to talk like that this do something with your hair man it's making me paranoid guys I have discover a band that will change music forever and I ran around so far away I guess when I ran all night and I love to cook I'm really good with sauces guys sometimes when I do the news I don't wear any pants you know there's some things about earth I really miss and then she just comes down in the basement like it's no big deal and after what happened and she's just gonna act like everything's cool and everything's fine you don't love me you don't get my couch or my friends I'm a package deal baby so I just told her fire up those walking sticks big red because this ain't happening I'm not having it hey Foreman we were all there and that ain't how it happened let's talk about it some more hmm this is what you normally do I used to do these two back when I was big an artist I work but I love our aid work do you hear that Foreman there was an artist who hates work and who at this moment is very open to suggestion oh I got you hi Theo cluck like a chicken do it do if you're unhappy and I hope you are you got to be true to yourself give up construction man go back to art you broke up with art oh that's cool your job kicks ass yeah I never thought I'd be a working man man the man Here I am working for the man you know what man I like the man hey thanks man so my probation officer was sure happy I came by he wants to see me for some additional years he's a good guy this one's kind of cute I mean for a fatty I mean for a [ __ ] yeah Jackie what do you want me to say that's it can I work like this anyone who doesn't have to be here must leave I said leave damn Fez you've only been here one day and you already tried to change everything yeah it's like we crossed into some different dimension where we're in some kind of photo hi it's Yuri man you know I was not worried about Donna my mom talking about me but now that I'm all paranoid I'm all like paranoid I mean when did it become okay for them to be friends right after your father replaced you with a semi-literate pretty boy that's me so I've been thinking about green actors to model myself after and I choose Travolta Kelso I can think of no better way to impress red than by acting like Travolta in his industrial film Bravo man that is good advice man I don't want Donna and my mom talking about me yeah Donna's a big mouth like she told me how you were makeup to last year's class picture I did not I had a zit stop looking at me for you and I are both victims of parental abandonment luckily I have a rich hippie benefactor he bought me nudie mags I'd never even heard of yeah I stopped his show but someday I'm gonna dance across this whole city that's dead-on also you should tell Jackie where you go that way when she wants to do it she can find you in do it or do I want to do it first the foundation of every good relationship is three words I don't know where are you going I don't know what are you thinking about I don't know who's that under you why are you friends with him I don't know hide what the hell was she doing in my seat I don't know it's a good one Kelso just sit on the floor the floor - on the floor visitors get the floor all right and that's you Terri tube top oh and by the way it's a winter very drab okay well sayonara Yoko what we're kind of the Beatles so dipping into the frankincense I see well no more of that okay we're gonna do this play the way it was meant to be done and no spaceman and anyone who doesn't like that there's no Christmas friend of mine and we should be a little bit nicer to those of us who want to watch Christmas specials I mean when Rudolph's nose shone so bright and Santa realized he could guide to sleigh at night that was a great moment in American history know so Rudolph was small had a girly voice and I'm pretty sure he's a little light in the hooves you know what I mean of course he was led in the hopes he could fly oh I would have guessed Prancer well you've all ignored me so I'll take that as a resounding vote of confidence guys let's do this thing what I'm God's green earth good Pastor Dave I was just oh I know what you were doing I recognize that smell from the ac/dc concert I was handing out leaflets no but I wasn't Eric Cartman you're fired you know what fine Rudolph had a girlfriend it was Clarisse she thought he was cute okay if anyone was gay it was that her be a no straight elf has hair like that yes Kelso's right everyone is trying it I'm telling you this stuff isn't just for cakes it's great all by itself wait wait watch this look at me I'm whipped cream it Oh fear whipped cream head guys I'm getting some weirdness from cousin penny earlier she gave me a hug but this wasn't a cousin hug her middles touched and not just for a second she pressed I've heard of kissing cousins but have you ever heard of doing it cousin that's what I think Foreman should be shooting for here go so I appreciate the advice but your solution to every problem is do it with her well work with my old science teacher see - well unfortunately penny is my cousin let me like looking at my mom and thinking hey baby I'm just gonna stop right there I've thought that about your mom but I didn't stop right there when leaders get a bad rap man not like the wizard wise we will have midgets [Music] then I got bench like 10 meters hey look at all this stuff you confiscated mine mine ooh la la my now why am I not snow queen for the last two weeks I was nice to everybody well maybe not the a/v Club but I mean come on jakey you can't just be nice for two weeks you have to be nice all the time or very handsome oh my banana nose it's still body maybe Donna was right maybe being popular isn't as important as being nice to people I mean I know that sounds wrong but anything's possible hey Jackie whatever lets you feel better about being a loser [Music] hey I lose all over you think we'll still be friends well my head says no but my heart says no so no wonder what don''t Foreman are doing right now the best tornado ever I know and who better to be stuck here with then America's most beloved rock band ladies and gentlemen Harry Smith we've had some pretty good times it doesn't get any better than this yeah yeah dig this joint - hello Wisconsin that was her Arrowsmith turf mad at that Steven Tyler is way cooler and Joe Perry is so dreamy that was dead-on right guys I bought it you uh really think I'm dreaming whoa the station manager stuff is way better than ours believe that Jackie wants me to get a job I mean my plan is always been to coast through life while my good looks look at me it's like I was chiseled out of marble hey guys here goes dad I love you I love you pop papi happy daddy no I have to have to stop eating when this chocolate yo so if you need to make some quick cash just sell your blood and you you've had enough of this I am not selling blood and there's no way that anything inside of my body's coming out for cash let's do bad Kelso cuz I hear there's this clinic in Madison that will pay for your manly donations no way walk through that I'm good at that Jackie cheated on me with the taste I know I was as shocked as you are thank God oh she did with kisum wait how do you know all she did was kiss kids yeah they had a fake kids when we find on my accent jeez guys Lucky's a little fella I kick his ass you gotta kick his ass Fantasy Island if tattoo took one of mr. Rourke swimming up to his little Tower and put it to her what it slapped that little dude like the drunk southern whale did he hit him off with some dishes hoodoo voodoo want tattoo tattoo honey do kung fu this conversation is over yesterday Samantha went back in time that trumps anything genie ever did oh yeah well genie can freeze time so Samantha would go back and genie could just freeze her there who kicked whose ass Nick you decide this whole thing little Samantha Oh Genie mud-wrestling I paid a dollar to see that all I know is Samantha helps Dara network but what does genie do for Major Nelson trance is boss into a monkey it is not helpful I got a co Major Nelson sexuality into question here I mean any guy who's got a half-naked genie he's got her doing more than his laundry you know be best Samantha's hair genies pretty bottle room and Wonder Woman's accessories hey guys we've been talking about this for a really really long time you were right Donna now not only are we beautifying but we're group of five hey I just made up a word whoever said you can't do two great things at once I bet it was a one-armed pessimistic guy yeah you just got a C+ man like I don't want to learn French so every day I think positive thoughts about not learning French and you get me I don't know a word of French [Music] okay now what would hide want stolen stolen is good you know what's better stolen and dirty so what's a good gift for hide that's stolen and dirty someone else's Pig no no wait I got it I got it a streetside will steal it so to be stolen and it's dirty so it'll be dirty oh my god Kelso just solved his first word problem yeah I mean doesn't miss Carter's class because I knew if I got one right that she'd give me a hug no bra and they were always pointy yeah that's good teach it Oh guys Fez this concerts about to start which means we have 3 more hours without his sorry ass let's see this candy yeah my name is fence I know candy [ __ ] good day I say good day yeah and the best part is that idiot actually thinks I'm his friend like I care I wish you were dead okay we should kill him now I got a better idea let's sing without him some people call me the space cowboy yeah some call me the gangster of love some people call me Maurice does that speak [Music] and I'm I get my lovin on the I'm a smoker I'm a midnight girl play my in the Sun [Applause] [Music] with my friends some people call me the space cowboy no nobody calls you that if anyone's the space cowboy it's me what your dreams Foreman I'm widely acknowledged as the space cowboy of this group and I also call midnight ochre Wow this cheeseburger is bloody brilliant well I called the lay motel fans you were right KC has a reservation for tonight and hey you were right I cannot keep a secret secret what I found in Jackie's cheese some night Phil's phone number I can't take this anymore I just know it hide she's cheating on me again Elsa don't jump to conclusions maybe I don't care man you gotta be cool about this Donna food she's gonna know you're jealous you can't be all Simon and Garfunkel you gotta get Bruce Springsteen E Springsteen Ian Springsteen Isha's wait what are we talking about oh hey you guys I'm not jealous I'm just looking out for her I mean Donna's practically a sister to me tall shaped Lee's sister who I've done it with about a million times look maybe Don in case you won't even do it tonight I'd call it 5050 you would oh I'd be wrong but I'd call it that keep you from doing something stupid Foreman you got to do something stupid sitting around feeling helpless all day that isn't healthy that's why I'm gonna stalk Jackie you know I really love things with holes please cheese doughnuts inner tubes I don't know what it is a better hole just feels good me and Jackie are officially over we're as done as this hot dog this hot dog isn't done well kickin KC's bud is the same as babbling at him from a safe distance and boy did I do it seriously you guys the days of Daffy are over it's time for action I'm going roadrunner on his ass Mimi Wow [Music] good because thankfully stupid advice Rhonda dumped me I thought you stood her but she blocked me and choked me now there's no more baseball for face back to handball girls man they'll make you miserable well I got a date so my mom and I were at the hub getting ice cream and we caught Donna with KC skipping school and she was drunk in the middle of the afternoon it was like it was like Sue Ellen on Dallas you went to the hub for ice cream with your mommy why would you tell me that hide the point AC went for ice cream without us you cannot pick up a phone yo can't pick up a phone Jackie I broke up with her and she never calls to even say hi or offer me sad but hot breakup sex that's just selfish guys my mom's over the Pinsky's right now telling Bob about Donna being drunk can't do that kind of stuff in the middle of the afternoon it'll mess with your your your your thinking thing you know what I'm saying yeah you got to stay sharp man that's why I keep myself pure until 3 o'clock 2 o'clock that's why I keep myself pure until 2 o'clock I'm not wearing a lot [Music] it's simple I'm gonna March over there and talk to Bob I love a good March my birthday is in March that's on 2 April hit the showers oh the seduction of eric foreman starring the insatiable april sheep are you really gonna go talk to my dad for me Eric you're so sweet and brave pound for pound you're like the Braves guy in the whole world so much well my candy save something what's up with Jackie look scared look at the heavens with these pants down man I feel sorry for Jackie I mean to have to look at this all day and not be able to touch it I can't even do that I love you more sexy thank you to quit ok this circle is sacred you don't do anything in here that you wouldn't do in a church in a cemetery in the teachers lounge how could Eric lose that ring and more importantly how could he think it was ugly it's got real nugget gold plating and the abalone is inlaid if you were my girlfriend I would be proud to wear that ring hey guys word if you just wanted to fool around a little you might drift Big D all I know is you guys better watch what you say around here some people can't be trusted because they have a great big mouth Jackie how could you say that my mouth is in perfect proportion to the rest of my face plenty of classy men wear rings Wayne Newton the Pope my help the carmine from Hoboken you lose his ring you wake up in a dumpster and that's just a warning does this outfit make my butt look fat oh you look super so uh Wonder Boy and I are thinking about moving in together my parents are gonna free you think your parents are gonna freak yeah we're twins you know it really hurts my feelings you called me dr. ball just because I'm evil does it mean I don't cry super jerks man everyone's down on me and Donna getting engaged you guys my parents even the magic 8-ball said outlook not so good I just I really think Donna would love an engagement ring Oh she'll love the ring it's the thought behind it that'll send her running for the hills or maybe she'll see how smart it is to get married when you're still in high school and have no money or future I know I ran with Jack you wanted to marry me except I ran for California instead of the hills I mean the beach kicks the hills ass there's way more bikinis and they usually have snack bar if you guys are right what if she thinks I'm moving too fast and giving her this ring is a huge gamble my man enough to make that bet no no the answer's no see Foreman you try to do a nice thoughtful thing in your screwed yourself it's all about expectations man like I've taught Jack can you think I'm rude and inconsiderate I can't disappoint her because I'm always disappointing her and if I don't keep down to the ring what do I do at the water tower Oh God I do deserve this so no one else think that Schatzi looks like phase that dog is flying Pez I know you've only spoken English for a couple weeks now could you have learned the words don't tell my dad don't contraction meaning do not and tell my dad meaning shut up okay right there you just told me not to shut up it's a wonder you're not failing English to crack a book you lazy son of a [ __ ] so guys miss McGee pretty nice if we want to her in every classroom I never skipped school again if you know what I mean I mean I'm doing it with my teacher never been with a teacher I was at the post office lady that was cool I got a hundred free stamps nine months to roll a tape I like older women it was got something smart to say I [Music] think I could probably fit inside of a record player that's gotta sound good in there inside of a record player hey miss dating Kelso the guys I'm with now they're so I don't know it's the word married you and Kelso didn't date you're just a [ __ ] you cheated with and you contaminated him so much I ends up with Stephen who I loved being with so thank you Wow I'm the only one here who's never been with Kelso which makes me want to say you and also thank God but you I mean you're a teacher can't you get in trouble for dating a student hey let him come and get me he's 18 I make $11,000 a year I deserve a little something so my grandma doesn't think Donna's good enough for me how great it's the match someone things Donna's the lucky one no more hey how'd he get her or oh that skinny guy must really be rich that's right I heard the whispers I pretended not to who was whispering we said it right to you well I'm done with Jackie and I feel like a guy you had a 95-pound mole removed 95-pound donny osmond loving shoe shopping ice capade attending mall I I know that's just coming from a place of deep deep pain and I really do feel bad that my Fox titude broke you and Jackie up and I turned it down but I just don't know how so then I said no party no goober because you wouldn't have a party see I think it's stupid that Eric and Donna need to practice being married I mean it's simple the woman just needs to be a cook in the kitchen the maid in the living room and an acrobat in the bedroom I can hire cooking inmate I am liking you more and more y'all just think about the incredible haul I don't see the part where he gets all like mad turns green and their shirt rips off but then I was thinking what if he was purple and a lady like an angry make it purple chick can't close my mouth any closer about [Laughter] Leos the best vo made me a grilled cheese once used butter and made the crust extra toasty you forgot cheese I miss that grilled cheese making son-of-a-bitch you know one time I heard Leo talking on the phone and he was speaking Chinese so I said Leo stop speaking Chinese so he turned around and it wasn't Leo you know I'll never forget that I'm just said I'll never get to see his face when I tell him I did it with Nina actually I like to see my face when I do it with Nina very big Italian so today we sit in this circle in honor of Leo he was my boss he was my friend he was my connection everyone's telling me to jump it's just out for a jog okay right here's I'm gonna do for you I'm gonna take that job as cook and keep you company on two conditions I'm not gonna work very hard you're not pay me a lot but man it'll be a bargain considering the money you save on hookers and shrinks and if it's work-related I can call you at home now I have a reason to get a phone Steven you're our chef hey if you can learn to make those fancy double date things I will lose my freakin mind even though I ain't got money I'm so Who am I kidding after I can't pay for Donna's ring no one's give me in love with me honey must you mock me Ann Marie girl so because your panty shenanigans I'm banning you from the circle I hereby ban you also here I eat your burrito hey hi you're not the boss of me all right well you can't tell me what to do shoot well at least I'm still my own man no I'm not what do you suppose Jackie and Donna are doing in the room right now covering each other's hair by moisturizer into the roll over Neath well it'll be a fly on that boob oh I know is I gotta go tell the woman I love that the ring I gave her for all eternity was actually for only six and a half weeks play still more complicated when your simple little ditties isn't it Ann Marie Ann Marie you know about hard times [Music] I can't believe my dad's making me ask Jackie to move in with us this is gonna be a nightmare Donna where's your spirit Tommy you're still hungry Tommy her lumberjack head is blocking out the Sun yeah you know I'm not too big all right she is too small just for the record I don't sleep nude for any disgusting reason I'm just a hot sleeper okay I'm not a hot sleeper I'm 17 years old okay I sleep right next door to the girl I love things occur to me okay just save time nice you know I agree to let me meet her parents and to seem completely normal I come up with the perfect opening line for Nina's mother mmm hello mrs. Bartel oh I can see morning I guess her lovely ass you're so weird man you know what there's a way around that I'm gonna make you so beautiful that Nina's parents don't notice how freaking weird you are being beautiful that's how I get away with stuff so my problem is I gotta tone it down cuz otherwise the chicks mom gets interested then we got a big problem let's make you man pretty telling you the government has a car that runs on water man they just don't want us to know because then we buy all the water then there'd be nothing left to drink but beer and the government knows that dear set us free all right you tell us about the car a million times you please talk about how hungry and horny I am we just had an ad made of pizza oh yeah beats I made of boobs yeah hungry check Jorge check it's getting old Fez and I feel like I'm Luke Skywalker you know I mean he's living on Tatooine before our two and three Bureau showed up just working on uncle Owens water farm all day not even allowed to go into tosche station to pick up some power converters full ring Eric enough with the Star Wars crap whenever you talk about that stuff I frown and when I found my skin wrinkles the bucket wrinkles my free ride is over and I like my free ride yeah we get it you're good-looking doesn't anybody have anything new to say so there's this car that runs on water man hey where are we supposed to see something man you know what the Six Million Dollar Man should have a bionic nose you could smell everything guys all I know is that we should really appreciate this because I don't think we're able to do this in college this peach cobbler is amazing leave a whole Fanta peach cobbler just sitting on the counter see we don't need anyone else we have lots of interesting things to say right hey there's this car that runs on water it was awful I saw Laurie and everything just went blank and I just ran down I just ran away and then I heard these high-pitched screams and it was me well I've got bigger problems this is a good artist he's gonna pay me on to a nudie poster installed to every Gaucho in Argentina or wherever the hell he's from I'm gonna be Miss Nude Argentina you know being here out of the stars sitting on the grass makes me really glad I'm not poor check out that fire baby if there's one thing I'm good at its turning a small fire into a big fire and that one guitar shaped log is Rory nice warm sound sorry I'm late Donna was really upset about leaving so I had to comfort her in a bed Euler way turns out if I get her sad she gives it away like goldfish at a freakin carnival I think you may have found a secret Open Sesame to sex make the lady cry how's that you try that with my wife Laurie here's a dead cat now do me little history first I think Laurie has a lot of open Sesame's like all right Laurie I usually does it actually I only ever got as far as hi did it with your wife there's so much power over Donna now it's like I know how obi-wan kenobe feels these aren't the droids you're looking for and I wish I could do it down in a land speeder on Tatooine giant clothes are out of the closet I don't even go in there now I'm afraid I'll fall into one of her shoes and never be heard from again I guess I must be Eric's best friend so I'm the only one who went to the trouble of getting him a birthday cake good maybe we should think about getting him something else what do you think pudding pop what's funny keep calling me that my name's not puddin pop never heard that name before my life Gorman's dead hey you guys think that's funny you should hear what Steven calls me calling me oh hey that's some kook hey congratulations on your green card but remember this is America and you still look foreign so don't expect me treated equally I'm going to become America's sexiest singing cowboy howdy ladies mid pep hey yo what's going on with Brooke really hearts but I think in a couple days when I start to heal I may be really psyched that Donna let me squeeze her ass I don't even know I'm reflecting upon how soft it was so what kind of chance do you think I have with a blonde Wow good pot it's got to be like four or five bucks in there yeah you guys are going down I got a full house I mean what do I got why is it that a lot and see Kelso I know you think you got a full house but you're only holding two cards small rates this is great it's 1:00 in the morning I'm not alone I'm not alone this is great guys I don't brag my belts getting pretty tight I think operation fat Eric is well underway guys everything is totally cool I promise to stop acting with such an ass and give Donna only presents not cash because presents are for girlfriends and cash is for hookers you're so good I should pay you you should have seen it coming for me because when you're deeply truly happy it's a sure sign you're doing everything wrong when Stevens unhappy I know our relationship is in good shape we've been tip-top since the minute I met you yeah I couldn't be unhappier about me and Brooke so I know I'm doing the right thing because the misery is how God that you know you're on track and how ready and I are miserable together and that crazy bastard is nuts about me Donna what are you doing the day after your birthday nursing a hangover you might want to stick to light beer cuz I was thinking maybe we could get married that day oh my god are you setting a date you can't set a date in the circle I can and I did I love you there's no groping in the circle for fish but it goes for everyone oh come on Eddie take charge go like you mean it oh man samples are way better than our samples did you see how quickly I sniffed them out I could so be a police dog cool training collar you know I still don't get how that you think I'm the stooge all right so on top of everything I could do it for time man for Kelso's van I finally landed it didn't so much crash as completely separate into its basic elements and just return to nature so sad there were tootsie rolls everywhere yes took a nap in my room my goose down duvet is like a cocoon laid down a caterpillar and woke up a butterfly maybe you would your room and read with these shoes to get a room and decorate it with red shoes heartburn then you just don't understand what it's like to have a bed that hugs you like you're a little baby it's like crawling into a mommy kangaroo I miss my kangaroo remember when I said that he shoes that Caray his room with his shoes I can't believe you knocked up a girl too we're not doing it in a public place today give me five well so I don't really think this is a gimme five moment okay I am really freaked out well right now I'm not so much freaked out starving and fascinated by your nose you'd be amazed at what I can fit up in there but the important thing is you have responsibilities now so you got to step up like I did look if you mean you stepped up on a urinal to climb out of a window to get away from the girl you got pregnant then yeah you stepped up still no offense hon Wow Kelsey you really must have pissed him off he's in stayed away this long since he discovered bubble baths yeah Beth still isn't talking to me but I think he's calling cuz every once in a while I pick up the phone all I hear is breathing and the krinkle of a candy being unwrapped then we are sitting in the circle talking about relationships what happened to us the stash must be from California I'm excited about marriage counseling I'm looking forward to hearing from a third party that I'm right about everything all my merits have to be magical I know how you could do that marry someone besides Eric hey I'll see you guys later I got someplace I really need to be [Music] hey guys sorry I'm late that's one place where they needed to be okay so get this I don't want counseling Donna does so we're going I'll tell you ever since we got engaged you didn't treat me like it some kind of child Oh where's what toy surprise go watch it with that gun man Oh relax Eric it's not a gun it's a flare gun yeah tomorrow's flirty at the academy so we're learning how to use these besides they're totally safe all they do is shoot balls of fire okay also I don't think you should be playing with fire Burrell and I got to stop hitting two circles in one day swear I just saw ball fire should do this road this afternoon a cadet named Terry hit on me they makes me nervous women with guns like me [Music] cadet Terry's a woman I know because I saw her putting cover up on her chin hair well then I know their cut that Terry I will sit here but I will not partake what you're doing is illegal and it could cause my mind to drift off its main goal which is enforcing the law like yeah both to read some literature in particular let's take a look at be great and go straight I think that one really says it all Kel so the fact that you're now totally lame would make me furious if I had the ability to feel anger right now I think Filipe don't I am NOT lame I am grown up and when you grow up you'll play by the rules which is why I am getting rid of this what is he doing why does he do in Oriya frenzy just screwing around [Laughter] maggie has broken you broke hide you son of a [ __ ] ok Kelso truth or dare have you ever snuck into my bathroom while I was showering I mean dare I was there and I saw you I mean there okay Steven truth or dare the truth will be whether or not you love me and the Dare will be telling me that you love me okay pass okay Mitch truth or dare I picked dare Mitch okay Mitch I dare you to kiss Donna Mitch you goofball that's not how it works it off to be like I dare you to kiss me okay look at him go he's like a hummingbird variable out of the northeast 20 miles an hour with gusts to 45 [Laughter] thanks to our time here in the circle I've come up with a perfectly rational way to keep Donna from finding out that I tore a dress I'm gonna destroy the earth okay well first you got to go to another planet and then you got to build a giant death ray and aim it at the earth that's pretty complicated I could lend you my sketches if you want it's a great plan it's like so many of our ideas sound good in the circle but later on they just sounds stupid death ray I stopped smelling the dress hey you know do this now I do another reception it's your choice can't believe Foreman took off man that's not like him at all usually he ruins things by staying so Steven you know since the church is booked already I think that maybe we oh come on Eric jilts Donna and all you guys can talk about is yourselves well there are bigger issues here people Donna is single wait a minute I get it now cockroach beats everything let's play and I won't you going to be cockroach okay so as a child I cannot wait to see the smile on that sweet little face and I bet the baby's cute too it's so cool that Stevens father's rich you it almost makes up for my father being locked away in prison I mean native land Eric I'm so sorry about what happened at the rally I was like watching an antelope get taken down on Wild Kingdom this is permanent marker Donna I don't think this is coming off I hate you guys this is way worse than we usually do in the circle tastes disgusting smells rank doesn't even make stuff funny this should be illegal I hate this it's like smoking a dirty sock only easier I love cigars I'm good at everything I guess throw up a little I love my job now man being the boss's son means never having to say you'll have it by the end of the day his Fez is really overdoing it with the playboys and this isn't like the time you eat a case of Morris bar it's either they can't pump your stomach for porn that's not worried about Fez I am shot see he goes on the attack every time he sees that Buddha statue and weirdly Bob okay I'm starting to shake off this whole flood shower thing I can't remember what a flow chart is can't remembered I just said hey when you jerks put this tie on me focus you're a businessman you love work and money and me hold on to that you're gonna forget I'll write it down oh you guys missed a glorious tranching Eric's tiny but gleaming in the moonlight shining brighter than the brightest start it was like a Disney movie yeah Eric's rear end is white sometimes I can't even tell if he's wearing underwear tonight and that jail cell he's gonna glow like a little lightning bug performance in jail I spent my entire night at a cocktail party I had to go break some laws I'm never gonna forgive myself hey 20 jerks put this tie on me you know this is the first time we've ever hit it up hey this place does have a name yet you should call it hot wax records dizzy record these are so rock and roll funk man's house of funk funk man's funky house oh [ __ ] funky man's funky house are hittin it guys writing this down or what see if it's too complicated you need something that sounds hot enough scale you should call it Jackie if you want it hot enough scale you should call it dijon mustard like head food heads ease the head that's kind of cool the head that head the head okay here's the situation Thanksgiving night everything's closed we need to find 100 record bins by midnight the same damn thing every year how does hair know to grow how far inside your head does it go does it touch your brain okay we need to get Jerry Garcia here's some coffee let that go rap I was into it I could think about my head the head that's the name save the game no will be perfect for the records those boxes that milk bottles come in they're like crates or crepes crepes hooter crepes that'll work man we need like 50 empty milk crates well how are we gonna drink all that milk wait we need 50 boxes of cookies Oh wastoid will steal the crates it's perfect milk crates milk crates milk crates milky gravy it's one messed-up Christmas man you guys are all starting to look like elves it must have freaked you out it's gonna fall off oh my god it is gonna fall off let me give you my recipe for holiday cheer take one slap at half a bottle of schnapps then stir freely with face it is a Wonderful Life it's a great present guys I especially like the teen white paper y'all rafted it yeah the only thing that you ruined today is if the Russians set off that Russian death rate it's point at the White House no seriously no I read about it in a magazine Celso that was the flash and it is a comic book I love comic books I wish I had thought bubbles you see anything now so the Russians don't have a death ray but they do have a stupid ray that's pointed directly at you the Russians do have a death ray and I'll prove it operator give me the White House Kelso I'm not allowed to make long-distance calls uh permission so I'm on hold and they're playing that theme song to the president hail to the chief thank you Eric I'm trying to enjoy the president's team song yeah job disposing of all the evidence you guys you better take this serious Eric we have a lot of evidence to dispose of even more than we had at the Pink Floyd concert yeah there is a lot without all the smoke machines and lasers this is just like punishment and I never thought I'd say this but I wish there are more people to share this with this is our third circle and it hasn't caught me down at all I feel almost more suspicious than before I don't want to get sent back to my home country you've ever turn in shame I'll get stoned you do rocks at me just settle down okay settle down you're losing your minds oh yeah who is yelling just need to keep calm that's it don't die okay it's starting to feel like work man feds have ruined the circle circle sucks that's right I said it hey this circle it's the only thing that's keeping us sharp don't want for this circle we'd have no idea that the feds were surrounding us planting bugs everywhere watching our every move so I say thank you to the circle I just want everyone to know I'm prepared to fight my way out of here that was a good idea no how are we gonna pay for dinner I think this pretty much covers your tab desserts on me the Mac is better silk your uniform and club soda see what an awesome knife I am partying in the back of a truck stop with the hippie and a waitress who are now making out Wow the fact that I'm here is not slowing them down at all good god woman you buttered my toast of that hand poor Donna I think I heard her pretty bad her neck stuck just tilt it over like this yeah but on the upside it looks like she's really interested in everything I have to say oh she's got a bad neck quit whining I've got out what girls don't even have necks hate me one time this girl whipped her head around to look at me cuz I'm hot and her neck just snapped and this should collapse into the jukebox no so that was the funds well where do you think they got it from woman forget being a chiropractor man the way I see it you're diligent tidy and detail-oriented so I think you should become a professional but Piper this is serious Eric you got to start off slow first you should be an amateur but why / what's wrong with you two I think I need to move to Paris that way you can become a bug why PA there's nothing like drinking beer straight from the DAP this must be why babies love breastfeeding mine's me of an ancient Chinese proverb it goes something something something crazy girlfriend some some your glass beer I don't think we're gonna find the answer to our problems in a keg of beer unless they're at the bottom so drink up I've been in this warehouse 100 times and I never tickets now I know on my grandmother's an alcoholic it's great I'm gonna need a bigger mouth here's what I don't get why would Sally sells seashells down by the seashore because that's a terrible location for a seashell stamp I mean if she wanted to make money she would sell seashells by the subway know what she should sell by the seashore shoeshines sandy sandy sandals we should start a girl band called sandy sandals What's Wrong Sam reminds me of dirt and dirt reminds me of Steven Jackie I'm sure heid will do the right thing yeah I thought if I really put myself out there he'd see how much I love him and say yes right away and then when he didn't I thought okay well maybe he'll take a couple hours and then say yes but now I think he's only taking us a while cause he's gonna say no Donna what if he says no Jackie if ID says no then you and I get a van and the sandy sandals tour America crap it's almost time for me to go get my shots why do I have to get shots anyway so I get yellow fever I can use a little color guys this might be our last circle together we're growing up I mean this to have jobs and Erica's off to start his life and I'm doing more shaving than ever I know you're scared of getting your shots so I'm gonna be a pal and get him with you because I owe you for that time that I chucked that dead raccoon at you it turned out to not be dead you kicking back at me and then it bit me and then we both had to go get rabies shot I'm running away to the hospital council saw that dog and he jumped out of the car cuz he wanted to go pet it but he forgot the cars moving he broke his arm funniest bloodiest most rabies filled date ever look at us best friends offering to help each other you know we always have to remember this moment [Applause] upstairs now I am in huge trouble this is definitely good er good er yeah that's alright Leo I left you in charge of the store and you let me down man so I'm sorry to have to say fired man I think the word you're looking for is fried dough man I mean you're fired that's you funnier and that totally deserted yeah and you're under arrest too what I'm just kidding these handcuffs don't even work look these are the ones that do work hey I saw this Help Wanted sign outside you still looking lioe are you trying to hire somebody no yesterday I was having a hard time opening up a jar of pickles so I put the Help Wanted sign too late man I found something else to eat my day meet the lid so tight pickles so you're not hiring that's a bummer cuz I gotta say this is your idea of a staff meeting I'd work my butt off what the hell man I'm in a giving mood right now you can have the job and do all the work Delia wasn't doing Emily I can't fire you man you're too awesome new guy you're hired Leo you're not fired jobs for everyone well that was hard but it had to be done my Trans Am is gonna be orange with wings and wheels made a fire and what do you slam on the brakes a parachute shoots out of the back with my picture on it and I am flipping you off sorry this party was such a good idea you know what I love watching with airhead stripper waste away her last remaining brain cells your old boyfriend hey I just realized something nothing I ate you that's so lucky because I hate you too but I'm gonna put up with you for Donna's sake if she doesn't have very many friends that's not true Jackie I have a ton of friends there's oh there's that one girl who [Music] the last circle before I go wait a minute don't get why we call it a circle it's the thanks freaking awesome no Michael I'll always remember the first boy kissed me and proposed to me tell me the putting out makes your nails grow I really believed you Kelso I'm kinda gonna miss you cos like trying to grab my boob maybe feel pretty I am messed up now I give you my word I will always be here tried to grab your boob we'll go for Kelso will want me here to do it anymore Oh God and Kelso this is weird I always imagined our last moment together will be me watching you strapped to a homemade rocket flailing around in circles screaming turn it off guess this is goodbye and I'm gonna miss this like being down here I've had like the best time of my life and you know what no matter where I live I will love you guys forever well I guess it's time to go so see I Michael well he's really gone this sucks I'm not leaving till tomorrow and you are crying this is what we do with a stolen clown actually this is what we do without a stolen clown always comes back to this thanks for bringing me here you guys so fat so now you're free so anything we can do for you that'll be a really trashy cloud hooker with nice long legs and a pair of double D I found this in the garage Oh Ronnie you think is so funny that was funny I get that freaky ass clown blank because he likes you he loves you he wants to marry you and then kill ya so I was thinking we could all go in together on a birthday present for Donna but I know what to get her oh cool there's an echo inside my head balls yeah we could give it on a makeup that would be a waste no blower I also did that once oh no wait he gave his snow blower a dog that was when he was in his machine should have pets face bongos Ecuador is there anybody in there oh my god the echo just said yes you know once I caught Donna using lip liner on her eyebrows seriously it's like being best friends with Phyllis Diller how about I get something and we can all give it to Donna together together man I'm not getting the echo oh there it is so listen I'm having a few drinks the other night and my old lady says I suppose you like yourself better when you're drunk I says no I like you better my wife came to me the other day and said we don't talk anymore and I said you're Roland de streek [Laughter] you know I'm learning a lot for you guys in here for instance bras not just for girls this team is great time to loosen the towel and release the hounds don't look I saw the house okay this is what I've been thinking you give us the rest of the pills and we give you two cases of beer plus a couple of passes to our Friday night bingo marathon and Medicare seminar what kind of deal is that I come down here sit in a song with you half naked this what you offer me all right let's hit the nursing homes whoa settle down kid we're all friends here let's work something out before we say things we don't mean and someone winds up dead it's good let's order a pizza want to get this over with so Steven shut up cow I'm gonna sell you those pills at cost and Smitty for the last time close your damn legs pretty good gift a the take it easy there a little goes a long way you know what else goes a long way man a lot who else goes a long way spiders that little guy made it all the way from the light bulb to the pipe way to go mr. spider don't even think about it Andrew spiders here have very little meat regardless it's still so exciting to be in America it's true what they say the streets are paved I'm starting to feel weird guys my hair is tingly my palms are sweating my pulse is racing oh man I think I overdid it stop jibber jabbering old boy I told you this stuff is pretty strong just take a deep breath and relax yes I'm sure you'll be okay after a few minutes until then just continue to sweat and grind your teeth oh you can you usually do and you've had too much switch to beer whoa hide you okay of course I'm okay it's you that's not okay but you're me so if you're not okay maybe some that okay which means you're mine here you're gonna be fine do you guys think I should change my hair yep there's some good stuff I've missed you right exactly always say hey leo how's it going son if this is how you're gonna run the store now that it's yours I gotta tell you I'm gonna be stopping by a lot more often edge you were officially off Eric I have the most incredible news I have kids Jacqueline Burkhart yeah Vince I have some incredible news too so has everyone else I think makes total sense that Fez ended up with Jackie she started out with me the Ferrari and then she went to hide the Mustang and now she's with Fez was like a donkey pulling a cart full of brightly colored Mexican blankets oh hey Kel sorry I just forgot I got you something from Africa for your daughter check it out a genuine plastic rhino horn it's awesome look guys I'm a Rhino guys I think it's time we honor all the brain cells that survived the 70s despite our best efforts some of those bastards pulled through tonight they're going down diet brain cells die in your next liver hey you guys hear about that car that runs on water it's got a fiberglass air-cooled engine and it runs on water man it's like we never run out of things to talk about dad I knew you'd burn out to be down here you guys it's almost midnight mrs. Forman is pouring the champagne hey guys last one upstairs hostak already doughnuts

Channel: Owenergy

Views: 2,856,026

Rating: 4.7403378 out of 5

Keywords:

Id: y3rkIIRUjiA

Length: 143min 20sec (8600 seconds)

Published: Sat Apr 20 2019

Reddit Comments

[u/L_SuperBeast-O]

So theres this car that runs on water man..

[u/theKalash]

No timezone, so that timer is useless.

[u/notJake229]

so it is a boat?

[u/vilisbon]

watched the whole livestream. made my night.

it runs on WATER, man!