Test Your Relationship Before You Commit | Ali Siddiq Stand Up Comedy

another tip if you are in a relationship before you commit you make sure you test the person to see how down they are with you not test like with no other person you trying to see are how down they are with you how you you with this lady how long y'all been together two years two years not enough time this your lady how long y'all been together damn sure not enough time where you at ma'am what what your relationship 12 years 12 years way more time you trust that lady with everything don't you even if you CAU disease you'll come in and show her look I got this what's up but thing thing got the Nutty Buddy what you think happened now let me tell you something I had children with this lady Hassan's mom I tested her I wanted to see how down she was with me so she college she broke she Ain got no money I take her to this very nice restaurant very nice I say hey get whatever you want this is your night do it do it big and she did it big she started off big too she started off with the three tier appetizer you know the one with the crab claws and shrimp and the oyers three tars of it that's $99 off the rip I said I said first of all you in college how you even find out about this she ordered she ordered three lemon drop martinis High shf whatever liquor that went in that I'm thought then she ordered swordfish I said wait one damn minute how you find out about swordfish now I'm ordering my I've been in the restaurant before I'm ordering my normal stuff hey let me get the Brussels sprouts and I would like the SE bass bottle of cabinet um I would like the sauté crab fingers you know you know I'm I'm I'm doing my thing um and we we we've been in here and we kicking it we kicking it balling she goes to the restroom waiter comes over brings a check I say hey I need you Le this check here I'mma pay for it Le this check check is460 we've been in here bowling she come back from restroom soon as she sit down I said hey take my keys get your purse get out of here she said you paid the bill I said no no Bill Bill too high Bill too high Bill 460 she said I got $40 I said shut your ass up that's not even a tip shut your ass up take my keys get your purse get out of here two steps that lady took two steps and sat back down they watching me ain't nobody watching you you got my keys get your her get out of here two more steps that lady took two more steps set back down they watching me I see nobody watch let me show you how to do it I get up I walk outside I'm gone I'm gone I'm outside I'm not playing with her I'm [Applause] outside I can see her e in the restaurant I'm doing this she's still in the restaurant talk 45 minutes I've been outside for 45 minutes I would have left her ass but she had my keys I would have left her ass she finally comes outside all excited o babe we got the ass for 460 we got the ass for 460 I say shut your ass up I got to use restroom now been out here 45 minutes I go back in the restaurant I use restroom I'm coming out the restroom the waiter say sell it out I said what's up man he said oh man my bad little dog I said what you mean man what's up he said man y'all would have been gone I said why you say that he said man every time she got up I looked at her [Applause] ass

Channel: Ali Siddiq

Views: 312,595

Keywords: Comedy, Def Jam, Showtime, HBO, Comic View, Laugh, Comedy Central, Comedian Ali Siddiq, Funny, Creative, TV, stand-up, stand-up comedy, Ali Siddiq, the domino effect, somino, effect, domino effect, one hour stand up special, stand up, houston, tx, def comedy jam, nbc, bring the funny, it's bigger than these bars, the joe rogan experience, live from gotham, incarceration, ali siddiq stand up full, ali siddiq mexicans got on boots, relationship advice, dating advice, commitment, loyalty test

Id: 3DYJhA2DmIg

Length: 4min 56sec (296 seconds)

Published: Tue Feb 13 2024