Stop staring at me - The Office

[Music] today is my be day and people around here just go crazy for it I don't know why happy birthday Michael oh what I said happy birthday thank you that's really nice you're late thank you but I forgive you because doth it is my birthday did you hear anything yet no I'm still waiting you look like you need a hug want to sign everybody sign it's like a cast skin cancer is treatable right it's going to be okay you don't know it's going to be okay don't give him false hope it's probably nothing though good you know what Ryan you don't have to give me a present I won't good great okay good I think I'm going to go uh no I think you're going to stay here's the thing about bosses and employees a good boss will say hey it's my birthday celebrate me a great boss will say hey it's my birthday celebrate yourselves because you are the ones who made me great and I will acknowledge your contributions with donuts somebody got donuts for my birthday happy birthday you didn't know it was my birthday I guess I forgot well I guess I forgot to give you a donut you [Music] serious stop it stop what is that that's for the longest time by William Joel your favorite song yeah want to found the radio Michael Michael Michael Michael come here come here listen up everyone it is 11:23 exactly the exact moment when you emerged from your mother's vaginal Canal so right have a seat please oh God there is a tradition that the Hebrews have of hoisting the birthday boy up on a chair so come over help me celebrate Michael's birth moment Kevin oh no no no you can't Ryan come on let's do this come on Stanley let's go man I wonder what's going through Kevin's mind come on guys come on come come on come on Oscar let's go on three ready okay happy birth moment Michael thank you one two three well well C all right all right watch it Oscar please that wasn't me I feel like we should go get Kevin something how long do we have to hold him up for happy birthday dear [Music] Michel happy birthday to you hello to think that a man's skin could turn on him it's brilliant cuz you'd never expect it can you please stop staring at me apparently Michael threw himself a surprise party which actually is not that surprising I want to you can let go no whoa whoa whoa whoa who yeah is that M yeah I've been pretty much skating my whole life I thought about playing in the NHL but you're on the road so much much you get no time to spend with your wife and kids and I really want a wife and kids Pam all this stuff with Kevin um it's pretty scary and I'm thinking that uh next time you're in the shower you should check yourself out you know give yourself an exam those things are like ticking time bags all right think about it something to think about hello yeah okay all right okay I will thanks is negative oh my God God we're going to beat this okay we're going to come here well apparently in the medicine Community negative means good which makes absolutely no sense made your plate oh thank you you Dwight my loyal sidekick have you met my sidekick oh I didn't no very good very good I asked for that have you met Mr titty twister here he is K you're putting your spaghetti noodles on your bread yeah enough carbohydrates for you wow Kevin carbohydrates very cool okay everybody get used to this because we are going to be standing here briefly every Monday for the next seven Mondays wait a minute one more bite of e Clair each hold it in your mouth if you can't swallow really nothing 2336 lb y'all need to learn some portion control wait a minute Pam is on the scale oh pamcake no no no we would love your extra poundage but you are going to be leaving us next week so vamos okay V Pam Thunder mlin family only family only all right got it 2,210 lb Pam you weigh 226 lb almost Kevin not almost though Holly I mean not not close to 200 math is hard yeah open sesame nice job Kevin what they're chocolate raisins hi can I help you I need you to make me 100 copies of this on canary yellow hey Jan hi how's the candle gang oh great yeah City by janny's kicking ass and taking names you remember last week when that girl went missing guess who candles they used for the viil cool thank God they found her too oh they found her listen dummy it's not that hard all you have to do is take the numbers from the sales report and type them into a master spreadsheet a GD monkey could do it I do not understand why you can't do it no you do not talk to him like that but he's an an idiot hey he is not an idiot thank you Holly he is mentally challenged but he's doing a super job here wait back up do you think that I'm what no uh do I oh Holly that is very offensive I'm sorry dude you talk kind of slow sometimes just not now hey Holly what's up how's it going some heat we're having huh I'm so I'm so embarrassed no it's okay it's okay but now that you know that I'm just like you I'm I wonder if maybe we could go out sometime oh that's so sweet but I I don't think it's appropriate oh okay is there nothing in my pile that shows that I have normal intelligence I'm sorry what oh no nothing it's just some of us are taking this really seriously I swallowed a tape room last night it's going to grow up to 3 ft inside of me and then it eats all my food so that I don't get fat and then after 3 months I take some medicine and then I pass it Creed told it to me it's from Mexico that wasn't a tapeworm Holly N dating do you think they'll get married yeah oh yeah huh oh oh yeah what is this what is this thing that you're doing well it's obvious they're going to get married just look at them Angela they're crazy for each other hey am I the only one that really liked AJ I never let myself get close to him that's just that's on me I don't know if anyone else feels this way and don't get me wrong I love Michael and Holly and maybe I'm being overly sensitive but the PDA yes the freaking PDA uhhuh thank you I mean I'm thrilled for them no one is more thrilled for them than I am absolutely but it's totally inappropriate yeah it's a little much obviously so happy for them both yeah well maybe if they were better looking I don't know guys I for one enjoy watching them because can I finish can I finish is that okay I was saying I enjoy watching them because it makes me morning oh thank you all for meeting on such short notice yes yes Michael Scott Dunder Mifflin what is the purpose of this meeting seeing as it's Valentine's Day I felt it would be aopo to have a little refresher course on romance in the workplace perfect yes it is quite appropropriate Carry On First Things First an office romance is permissible not something you'd expect to hear from corporate well guess what saber is 100% tolerant of office romances speaking of Gabe I don't see at this meeting uh I also don't see Andy boom face I get it Andy's slamming my girlfriend very funny what I do not approve of however is public displays of affection or pdas pdas are totally Superfluous to a happy healthy office romance a perfect example look at Jim and Pam yeah what us they don't touch they don't kiss uh you would hardly even know that they were husband and wife did it yeah love it keep it going okay so PD that's going to include behaviors such as hugging kissing uh booby honking yeah booby honking sure butt honking butt honking yep all the honking the one when you start in a Crouch position and you basically there's no precise definition but you know it when you see it are you guys listening to this what are you talking about me and Holly yeah maybe you find your own chair so we kiss occasionally not occasionally all the time yeah and it's not just the kissing it's the flirtatious Whispering the flirtatious tickling whispering and tickling have their place in business that thing where you softly exhale on her neck I okay yeah that's pretty hot I will give you that look we can go back and forth all day long as to what is or is not PDA and we're not going to get anywhere is is is coming in and and saying hello to someone a public display of affection H is patting somebody in the back for a job well done is touching a crotch I would say no no yes you are all Hypocrites you all do it Kelly you do it all the time never are you telling me you never kiss Ryan in the office I have never ever ever done PDA in this office it's not something that I would do it's not something I would plan on doing just no no Michael okay you know what my head just exploded listening to you I don't I have no idea how to respond Michael confession I have done PDA in the office thank you I've had intercourse in the office all right as has Angela as has Ryan as has Kelly as has Meredith as has Phyllis as has Daryl as has Creed as has Michael and as has Holly as has Kevin with who she goes to another school okay fine no more PDA good okay you win but here's here's what we are going to do we are going to designate one of our closets as a hookup Zone anything goes just leave it how you Michael that's absurd what if two couples want to go at the same time okay then we have two CL no no we're going to have three closets one for each base no homers yes and what is the hookup Zone policy on masturbation Pro yes what problem solv no it is does anyone have a problem with that yes gay closet five five closets that that wasn't the problem three heavy petting closets one masturbation closet and one gay closet [Music] absolutely

Channel: The Office

Views: 238,209

Keywords: the office, the office full episodes, rainn wilson, john krasinski, steve carell, michael scott, the office fire drill, jim and dwight pranks, dwight schrute, jim halpert, jenna fischer, the office funniest moments, the office bloopers season 1, the office cpr, the office parkour, Best The Office Moments

Id: c3i7aQGJA8M

Length: 14min 25sec (865 seconds)

Published: Wed Mar 13 2024