Stepmom moved in My Home & Told It Belongs To Her Because My Mom Was A Failure

people who have a step family how is your relationship with them my stepmother 49 who we'll call mary is a conservative and also does extreme things which i'm not going to delve into right now she got married to my dad and after she moved in she used to force me to diet and tell me that men liked women who did this and that she and my dad moved into my apartment as they lost their house they are not paying any expenses or chipping in yesterday at dinner i told them my boyfriend was moving in with us and she replied with india which state is he from and i tell her kerala so she tells me that he can't move in with us because he's from asia and kerala is a dirty place where uneducated people live etc that he can't move into her house and that i need to break up with him as soon as possible i told her that she doesn't own my apartment and if she doesn't like him being in my apartment she can move out she got up crying and rushed into my bedroom heard things being thrown around and breaking so i went in and found a ceramic music box my grandpa got me shattered in pieces i was furious my grandpa passed away and that was one of the only things i had from him i actually snapped told her that she isn't my mother and she can't go around having tantrums and did some other things i'm not ashamed of and then kicked her out my dad says that i should apologize and i told him he might as well get out of my house as well boyfriend moved this morning and my actual mom did too these are the only two people who think mary had it coming my dad called me up an hour ago and told me that i really hurt her with my comments especially the one where i told her she was not my mom and so i blocked him my step-aunt caught one of this and told me i was an ungrateful brat what with her taking care of me my entire childhood when my failure of a mother couldn't yesterday night i 23 years old male tried to visit my mom 43 years old and stepdad 45 years old because they invited me and my stepsister 20 years old to dinner at their house i came over reluctantly because well i hate my stepdad skipping over the non-important parts at one point they all started speaking spanish and i said what and he goes it's your fault for not learning spanish and he tries to continue the conversation in spanish just so they couldn't include me but my mom and step-sister changed it back to english because she knew he was being rude at one point him and my step-sister's boyfriend are talking and he asks when i'm going to get a girlfriend and then he says or boyfriend in his patronizing voice then he asks how my rat is doing because he hates the look of my dog then the final straw was when he brought up the fact i was single again saying you should sleep with a boy or a girl and here you are all by yourself so i just snapped all these years of torment and bull poured into a single line of this is why i don't visit and i just left and i'm never going back again my stepdad texted me about how i was rude and shouldn't be so sensitive how everyone was awkward after i made a scene i'm in high school my dad is in his 50s and my stepmom is in her 30s yeah it's as weird as it sounds they have an infant son who cries all the time kinda sucks because i'm really stressed about school this year is really important for my college admissions i'm really into camping in the outdoors making forest shelters by hand with stuff i find in the woods camping hiking etc like the primitive technology youtube channel but not as good lol i've been camping and backpacking ever since i was little with my mom my dad's house is on a lot of land and i've made a bunch of forest shelters out there over the years it's a hobby of mine i know it's weird but it's fun and relaxing in the past my dad had never had issues with me camping out there to test them out or whatever anyway i hadn't been getting much sleep at all with my half brother and stepmom here he cries all day and night and she's an early waker who makes a racket first thing in the morning so through last few months i've been camping more and more it's cold but i have a really good sub-zero sleeping bag i can make a fire i'm comfortable and i sleep like a log i've always slept well in the woods and it's a whole lot better than trying to sleep in the noisy house it's causing such a fuss for no reason my dad is saying he doesn't like the idea of me sleeping out there alone in the winter and i said to him that he never had a problem with it before he's been letting me do it for years and it's always been okay it's not fair for him to take it back because he's probably mad i'm the only one getting any sleep my stepmom says it's disrespectful my dad puts a roof over our heads and i go to sleep in my little fourths every night that it's like what a child would do not a young lady they haven't stopped me yet but i'm worried they will i also don't see at all how i've done anything disrespectful but maybe there's just something i'm not getting when i was young my parents got a divorce and my father shortly afterwards married another woman she had a daughter from another relationship who was three years older than me let's call her anna my mother passed away and her name was amina she was a wonderful person kind caring beautiful just amazing in every way i was devastated when she passed and i guess i always knew that if i ever had a daughter i would name her after my mom my step-sister anna got pregnant at 21 and had a daughter who she named amina at first i was surprised by the choice of name especially considering it's quite an arab muslim name and she doesn't really have any links to the cultural or religious aspect another thing to note is that me and anna are not close she didn't like me and often bullied me when i was younger after three years i decided to move in with my mom permanently and didn't see my father often but after my mother had passed i moved back with my father anyways anna's daughter passed away when she was 10 months old due to sids 10 years later a has never had any other children a few months ago i gave birth to my daughter and named her after my mother amina my husband loves the name as well it is a different spelling but essentially the same pronunciation my father is still married to anna's mother and we are quite close he was shocked when i told him but understood however a and her mother my stepmom think it's incredibly disrespectful that i've named my daughter amina i have gotten a lot of hate from their friends on facebook who call me an idiot i believe i've done nothing wrong especially considering i'm not close to anna at all and she will never really be in my child's life whilst i understand the loss of her daughter must be extremely traumatic i've always said that i would name my child after my mother my father has backed me up which has caused some issues with his wife but has told me to reconsider her name i will not be changing her name but i want to know if i'm in the wrong here my older sister emily 22 years old is from my dad's first marriage my parents got together when my sister was a kid they married a few years later my dad is technically my stepdad but he adopted me when i was a baby and has always cared for me equally i adore him anyway my sister recently visited us for christmas and the visit has left me thinking up until emily was young she lived with her mom then her mom was killed in a car accident she had to come live with us my parents had had two more kids by this time my brothers we all had our own rooms when emily came to live with us my dad decided she needed her own room as she was older had just lost her mom and was an only child back with her mom my brothers now had to share my mom went pretty ballistic over it but my dad didn't budge but i definitely remember all the snide comments my mom would make to her while we'd be eating dinner or whatever always when my dad wasn't there in retrospect emily was always nice and would play and share her playstation and game boy with us my room was next to hers and i could hear her crying in her room at night almost every night i never said anything i got off track but i felt the need to explain emily's situation the summer emily turned 16 she stayed with her grandma for the vacation when she came home it's like she had got pretty overnight she was pretty before but now everyone noticed including my mom i'm not gonna lie even i was a little jealous of her anyway my sister had a few friends some of them were boys one of her best friends was a dude named tyler she would come home from the movies or being out with her friends and my mom would grill her she'd also ask really pointed questions that emily hanging around so many boys would give her a reputation also at this time my mom was constantly complaining to my dad that he was spending too much time with emily and not the rest of us he was teaching her to drive she got herself a job at starbucks and after a few months finally earned enough to buy herself a car my mom complained about this too that emily was so spoiled and how she always got everything she wanted whenever she wanted i've named a few instances but stuff like this went on for years until my sister graduated from high school and left for college out of state she has never come back home to live not even for summer after her first year i think she had two jobs to support herself at this time she comes back about once a year to visit with us only ever for like a week though while she was here her and my mom got into a fight about how she never comes to visit and why she my sister doesn't love her siblings enough to visit more my sister quietly said she would visit more when my mom was dead everything went really quiet in the house after this and my mom started crying and my sister just went to her room and packed her bags she left a few hours later i don't know if she'll come back i've always known that they don't get along but i've just kind of given a blind eye to how my mom treated her through all the years my brothers and i feel so bad and we're so scared she's never gonna come home again we love her i feel scared and ashamed to reach out to her but i really want to call her and tell her how much i love her i texted my sister a few hours ago i told her i loved her and if she wanted she could call me originally i was going to call her but i got really nervous and didn't want to force her to talk to me if she didn't want to emily called me a few minutes later she told me she was sorry for leaving the way she did but that she had to get out of here our house i told her i was sorry for what happened and that my mom has been terrible towards her she told me she was trying to ignore my mom this visit but she couldn't and she doesn't think she can come back here after she fought for years for control of her life she told me every time she comes back she feels like she gives it right back up again i let her know that i understood and told her i loved her again she sounded really tired and sad i feel bad for forcing it in there but i told her if she ever wanted to and it was okay if she didn't that i would still like to have a relationship with her and maybe i could visit sometimes she just laughed and told me i could visit whenever i wanted but convincing my mom was another story i laughed and agreed too overall the call consisted of me and her mostly telling each other we loved each other throughout the call my parents have been divorced for 10 or so years i am now 19 female my brother and i have known our dad's wife for eight years now we have grown up with her and i have a lot of fond memories of us doing stuff together because they couldn't have kids my dad is 56 stepmom is 38 and having a younger stepmom was always fun for me three years ago they had their first child it was a miracle since doctors told her she wouldn't be able to get pregnant she ended up getting pregnant again a year and a half ago and had another kid they now have two boys who are like three and six months of course after the boys were born things started changing with stepmom she may have not meant it on purpose but my brother and i both agreed how obvious her disinterest in us had become she even asked my dad if we could have two versions of our christmas cards one of them having my brother and i in it and another with just my dad stepmom and two stepbrothers to go to stepmom's friends who don't really know us the issue at hand has been going on for about a month stepmom has slowly been turning my dance studio in my dad's house into a playroom every weekend i'm there it's like there are more and more toys in it i still dance competitively and though i live at college most of the time when i'm home i live with my dad and need it for practice i called stepmom out on this in our family group text for moving some of my brother's things to a box in the basement because with the boys we need more room i don't think this is true i think she just wants to get rid of the reminders of my brother and i i told her that we know she's condensing all of our space in the house she tried to play it off all nice i then said i'm sorry of being in the way of her cute little nuclear family and that she shouldn't have married a man with kids if we were gonna have these issues my dad texted me individually and said i must apologize i told him that we should have just as many rights in our dad's house as his new kids do he said nobody is taking our rights blah blah blah edit i just want to say there's been multiple instances since the birth of the boys where it seemed to almost upset stepmom when dad spends time with brother and i or does an activity with us exclusively i've 34 female been married to my husband for two years together for four he has two children and i have a daughter when i met the kids they were in a disadvantaged situation my husband was a single dad who worked full time a bit out of his depth and relied on his mother for help she spoiled the kids for attention more than anything after i came along i used money from inheritance to help my husband move into a better neighborhood the kids go to a much better school where it was discovered they were two years behind their adhd was discovered and treated both kids cut up in a year when the kids are with us 50 50 custody for all kids i mostly care for them the kids have a healthier diet a better sleep schedule and a better control over technology the kids hated all these changes i don't blame them in the kids eyes they all suck they fought me argued and tried to call cps to try and live with their mother she 100 supports me and worked with me to make these changes and has implemented some of them in her home i love these kids and will support them and give them the best future i can but i love my daughter more i can't help it looking at her sends different chemicals in my brain than my other kids it's hardwired maybe it would be different they were smaller when i met them whatever it is my lizard brain won't love them the same way they have the same opportunities now the same food the same chores the same punishments for wrongdoings my husband complains that i should love them the same full stop biology is stupid he claims it affects my parenting and that i yell at his kids more i admit i have more patience with my daughter but the kids are all different and i try my best to give all of them the best life am i wrong for loving my kids differently p.s the kids don't know i feel this way my step-kids have tried to trick me to saying my daughter is my favorite so i say it's the dog he never talks back lol my 37 male beautiful wife 39 female and i have been married a while now and she has three great kids the kids are awesome coolest people i know my dad died when i was a kid and my stepdad came around three years later the best thing my stepdad did was take the pressure off of my mom so she could be there for us i idolized my dad but i loved my stepdad too and being one has made me proud i actually get a kick out of taking over the laundry so my wife can play with her kids or fixing their bikes so they can go ride with her i do more than fifty percent of the house and yard work happy to however the only thing my wife and i ever fight about is the fact that she won't make her kids do any chores like none they don't clear their plates they don't sweep or vacuum they often don't even flush it makes me furious with her even when my dad died my mom kept our chore chart going she said we all had to help each other it gave me consistency responsibility pride and character then all this happened like all of you probably i'm overwhelmed now there's three times more housework because everyone is constantly home i can't do that much housework plus work from home and i've been raging and angry all the time my wife works part-time from home and gets child support from the kid's dad who does make them do chores at his house she has refused any and all attempts to have a conversation about how we might teach the kids to clean up and do their fair share of the housework guys i am not asking them to scrub the floor with a toothbrush i think while they're home all day they should be learning how to do simple stuff like help with the dishes or help with laundry or sweep the floors or flush the toilets in addition to playing they have one hour of school a day they can do 30 minutes of chores and still have 10 hours to play and enjoy themselves everybody should do a fair share because my wife refuses to even discuss this with me i chose a different tactic i'm not doing any more chores until the kids do i'm not going to rage around being resentful angry and exhausted all the time those kids are amazing i'm not going to wreck the great relationship i built with them either it's their mom's fault they're like this not theirs or mine i'll work and do basic cleaning up after myself that's it my wife can do everything else or she can get everybody on board doing their fair share so what do you think my wife thinks i'm the idiot for not supporting her when she needs it most i think she's the idiot for babying her kids and overloading me [Music] [Music]

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Id: -BzLv5r4PHk

Length: 18min 23sec (1103 seconds)

Published: Wed Sep 02 2020