MOM Told Everyone I Had A Secret Child & Gave Him Up Because That Child Contacted Her After 18 Years

people what's your biggest family drama when i turned 18 i was given my mother's contact information by someone i found out she was married to my biological father they had public profiles on facebook and instagram i ended up messaging my mother who never responded i then tried to message my father who basically replied saying that he's sorry but they would rather not have me in their lives that it took them a while to grieve over giving me up and that they don't want to go through all that pain again well at this point i got pretty annoyed because i think it's kind of nasty they think they can prevent me from knowing the rest of my family i ended up messaging my grandmother my mother's mom who was actually happy to know me i met her in person and we really bonded i also have two younger siblings but i didn't contact them after what my father said well four months ago i saw my father post a picture of them at some church event and say my beautiful wife and our two amazing kids this was on their church facebook page this was probably wrong but i replied with a comment saying don't you mean three kids i didn't really expect the amount of people responding to that as i did there were a bunch of people my parents knew that started asking questions i freaked out and deleted my comment then i started getting dms from people including people i was related to later that day my grandmother made a post confirming i was a child given up for adoption so now i started making connections with some extended family and have been to a few family parties my parents have told me they aren't invited unless they accept me which they haven't the whole drama has kind of messed with their lives and business my parents are now apparently separated i don't really accept that as my fault this just happened about an hour ago i was actually getting dressed and ready for working at home today my husband was working in our office and let me know he would be on a phone call he also asked me to make him a smoothie before he had to leave to go into the office for a bit this morning i was in the middle of fixing my hair naked as i had just gotten out of the shower but i knew he had a busy day and sometimes forgets to eat so i wanted to make sure he ate and was ready for his busy day i go and make the smoothie still naked as i'm in the middle of getting dressed and bring it to him not realizing he was on a video conference call i sat it down on the desk and he just turns to me with the most scared look on his face and pushes me away i then realized i was butt naked on his camera in front of his ceo my brother who also works with him and a whole team from india they all saw we will get crap for this for a while i'm going to go crawl in a hole forever last week my parents and i had a serious discussion concerning life insurance they are by no means expecting to pass anytime soon however they felt the need to have this set up now and speak with me about it the topic of my younger siblings eventually came up i'm about 16 years older than both of them and i'm 23 currently they simply wanted to know who should become their legal guardian should anything unfortunate happen unsurprisingly their first option was myself their second option is my aunt whom they both trust immensely they explained to me that if anything should happen to them that i would have to prepare to care for my two siblings they phrased it in such a way that i'd most likely have to move find a different job and raise them with my fiance they also told me that it would be easy because this life insurance would be helping me financially i declined fairly quick my mom was completely understanding which i appreciated however my stepdad seemed bothered by my decision he didn't say anything beyond but they're your brother and sister and you should be there for them yeah i love them unconditionally but i don't even want kids of my own and the idea of my life potentially changing so drastically terrifies me they haven't brought it up again since but i'm starting to feel a bit guilty about my choice i definitely feel selfish but i feel like it's my right to say no on the other hand my stepdad's words made me feel like i'm wrong here i guess it's been eight or nine years that i set up my mom and aunt's facebook accounts for both i used the same password which i came to find out neither has changed they are so typical old people facebook it's not even funny they live two doors down from each other but haven't spoken in months over some slight that i don't really understand i didn't want to get involved but on thursday my aunt posted a family picture and tagged my mom this led to the most embarrassing old person flame war i've ever seen it started off with jabs and deceased into accusations of each of the sleeping with different cousins growing up my grandpa using stuff in the 60s car wrecks pet theft illegitimate children and other little things their other siblings and cousins begged them to stop but then that would start side flame wars that caused other issues finally i had enough because they were talking around but still insulting me and my pregnant wife just to test it out i logged into my mom's then my aunts and just deleted the picture and comment thread then i changed the password on each account i went by and put a note on each of their doors explaining i had their accounts and i'd give them back when they grew up i haven't heard from either of them my sister who got called nasty in the war so her reaction really surprises me said i way overstepped my boundaries i live in a country where extended families living under one roof is common my daughter and i 23 female are currently living with my grandmother an uncle and aunt with a husband and two kids the reason why i haven't moved out yet is because of my grandmother i have a high paying stable job and can move out anytime but my uncle the eldest who's paying for the bills as well pleaded for me to stay with my grandmother she's 89 and i take care of her as well yesterday i got into a fight with my aunt because i confronted her about them not buying fruits for their mother i can do it myself but because i have a sickly daughter i won't risk going out my grandmother receives a monthly stipend from the government and my aunt manages the finances i don't touch even a single cent of that stipend i buy my own groceries but also include my grandmother i pay for the electricity of the entire household and sometimes the water bill i also give weekly allowances to my aunt's two kids my uncle my aunt and her husband ganged up on me and said a lot of hurtful things about me in front of my daughter they kept on rubbing it in my face that i got pregnant at 19 and a single mom at that i got so fed up that i told them at least i didn't ask other people to pay for my family's needs i added after that i can move out here anytime and won't worry about where to get food and where to get money to pay the bills i don't know if i can say the same thing about you all i never asked them for help financially and worked hard to where i am now my statement resulted in another round of shouting and them constantly telling me how rude i was i grabbed my daughter away from them and locked ourselves in my room since i'm paying for the internet bill out of anger i changed the password and they haven't connected since then i feel like i was too harsh when i said those words to them so several years ago my best mate todd changed his name in my phone to sexy jess from work and then would ring my phone in the middle of the night to try and get me in trouble with my partner but she was friends with him before we had even gotten together so she recognized his number and his prank didn't really work out fast forward six or seven years to the weekend just passed i'm sitting on the couch watching tv and my partner is upstairs my daughter is bored so i give her my phone to play a game on q mess up i never changed todd's name back it's been a running joke between us for years so sexy jess from work calls whilst my daughter has my phone she freaks out comes running into the lounge room crying throws my phone at me and screams i hate you dad she runs off upstairs so i'm sitting there really confused after a few seconds i follow her upstairs i can hear her crying when i hear my partner start laughing hysterically now i'm really confused i get to the bedroom my partner just holds up my phone showing a missed call from jess from work i piece together what's happened and spent the next 20 minutes explaining to my daughter and calming her down then call todd back to tell him how his joke has made it to the next generation i'm a 28 year old male and my immediate family is all women mostly this is because i was raised by my mother and have no contact with my father's side of the family due to a messy divorce when i was young my two sisters early thirties my three aunts two who are my mother's sisters and one married into the family and married my aunt and they have an assortment of close friends of the family all of which are women that also go to these events about three years ago my mother had an idea to do a girls only weekend originally this was to see one of the magic mike movies and because it was such a hit they started to do these weekend outings once or twice a month originally it didn't bother me because i'm an adult and i have my own life and my own house and i really didn't even think about it but an incident recently made me annoyed at the whole concept my aunt's birthday was in january and normally we go to her favorite restaurant for her birthday which also incidentally is my favorite restaurant so i bought her a present and a card and waited for an invitation and none came when i asked what was going on for her birthday i was told they celebrated it early on their girls day because she was going to be out of state during her birthday this kind of irked me because when i mentioned i bought her a present my mother told me to just drive over to her house and give it to her i felt pretty left out since i'm the only male in my immediate family having a girl's day is the equivalent to saying hey let's celebrate my birthday but not invite him i griped about it and was told that i was basically being self-centered and that she can celebrate her birthday however she wants i agree with that but once again i'm the only one being left out and it feels bad the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back was i was also just informed that they were planning a summer vacation this year as girls only two and when i asked my mother what about the vacation we normally take as a family she told me that they can't afford to do both so they are just doing the girls only vacation this year at this point i was very annoyed and had a loud argument with my mother and sister telling them that it's really nasty that twice a month they have group activities and specifically exclude me and on top of that are now even taking vacations and excluding me nothing came of the argument and they wouldn't budge so i decided i needed a break from my immediate family because they don't consider my feelings relevant so i removed myself from the family group chat and deactivated my facebook now my phone is being blown up and i'm being told that i'm immature and i need to grow up i responded that a lot of grown people don't see much of their family at all and i'm just going to follow that example this last month has been kind of wild for me so i haven't had the opportunity to update this until now so the descriptions of my family and my family's situation in this thread was specific enough that one of my family members found out about it and confronted me due to the fact that i had deactivated my facebook and was only receiving text messages i didn't realize what was happening before i was ambushed by it my sister oldest confronted me about it and asked if it was me who made the threat and i confirmed that it was and she insisted i was being bad for airing the family's laundry like that i responded that i in no way did that as i was speaking very generally and never identified who my family was this spread to my family and now the thread was shared on facebook and everyone was shown i was invited to a family meeting we never have those where i was sat in front of a firing squad of angry women who told me that what i did was wrong and demanded an apology they said that i knew they weren't excluding me and because i gave everyone that impression i owed them an apology i replied that i absolutely did not know that they were not excluding me and included examples of things they did such as the birthday dinner going to an amusement park and going to a baseball game once again they characterized this as a girls only event of fun where boys just weren't allowed or welcome because they wanted to talk about things guys wouldn't be interested in i replied that she needs to stop saying guys because there is only one guy who would have been invited and that's me so what she's really saying is it's a no op event not a girls only event they explained that it wasn't excluding me because regardless of whether i was interested in the event the conversation would have bored me because i'm not a girl at this point we were going around in circles so i just explained my perspective i said that i'm the only male in our immediate family when the people in my immediate family get together on a regular basis not a one-off or once in a while and don't include me regardless of what they called it i feel excluded i explained that the breaking point was the family vacation and that there was absolutely no reason to leave me out of a vacation i was always invited to particularly when that's the only family vacation we do and they've stated they cannot afford a second one at the end of this family meeting i was never given an apology no one tried to empathize with my perspective and i was accused of many things that i didn't do by any reasonable interpretation i told my mother and my sisters that we reached a breaking point in our relationship and that i was going no contact for a while i told them that i'm an adult and i have my own life and the reason i wanted to be involved was because i didn't want one of those family relationships where you only see your family at holidays if that's not what my family wants then it's okay but i told them that i was not going to be involved with people who made me feel crap and intentionally leave me on the outside looking in of my own family my mother and sisters told me that if i was going to lie about them to everyone that they don't care at this point my relationship with my family is over i left that family meeting and have not reactivated facebook and have not received any contact and have not initiated any contact i've always known i was adopted it's never been a huge secret and never really could be because i look so different from my adoptive family even though all of us are white my biological mother who i will call sarah left me a written note explaining why she was choosing to relinquish her rights to me she was very young at the time of my birth and placed me up for adoption when i turned 18 i began searching for her and easily found her her last name at the time she's married now to my bio dad was very unique and she's quite popular on the radio show that she's a host on even though it's relatively small due to the size of the town she's in therefore she's not known on a large scale so that helped as well i couldn't tell you how many times i've called to ask her for relationship and career advice and other things moms are good at doing i always cry after because i know who she is but she doesn't know who i am and she has the loveliest voice and personality i take after her in some aspects both personality and appearance wise same for my bio dad as i mentioned before she's now married to my bio dad and they have six more kids together the youngest looks very similar to how i did at that age i wish i could actually be a sister to my siblings my bio dad has an excellent job and they seem to have a great life i have been sort of stalking them all over facebook since i found them and it makes me yearn to have a close relationship with them i'm not sure if it would be a good idea to ask them to be in their life because i don't know if they've made my siblings aware of me but i'd imagine not since they're religious they're not the super nutty variety and voice the fact that they are against pre-marital relations as they call it maybe i'm just a mistake that they'd rather leave in their past because they're ashamed they had a baby out of wedlock i don't know i'm 22 now and married expecting my first baby in july pregnancy has made me admire my bio mom and her sacrifice to try and give me a better life than when she could at the time my adoptive family is not very supportive of me wanting to get in contact with my bio family either and have threatened to cut me off emotionally if i contact my bio family again my eldest son and his wife got married a few years ago initially they moved out of state after their wedding for my son's work then things went downhill my daughter-in-law got pregnant and quit her job to be a stay-at-home mom shortly after the baby was born however my son lost his job as well their savings drained quickly and it was too expensive to live in their state my wife and i said they could live with us while they got back on their feet on the condition that they both get jobs this was two years ago and they've lived with us ever since both work and while they don't pay rent they cover all their own expenses along with the babies recently however they told us that they were planning on having a second child my wife and i said that if they wanted a second child they had to move out we love our grandchild but we don't want another baby in the house and to me if they can afford another child they can afford to move out they said we can't tell them whether or not they can have another baby i said if they're living in our house i absolutely can my wife and i still have two other kids living at home my other son is a single parent as well and has a child who lives here full-time he has no plans of having more kids and is close to moving out would have sooner but with the shutdowns it messes up his search we can't have another kid around here [Music] you

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Keywords: askreddit, r/askreddit, reddit, askwomen, askreddit girls, reddit women, reddit girls, askreddit real voice, reddit stories, justnomil, r/aita, r/tifu, reddit estranged, reddit mom, reddit family secret, reddit relationship, reddit family drama, reddit pregnancy, reddit paternity, reddit estranged family

Id: 6DLf2ZjjEtI

Length: 18min 21sec (1101 seconds)

Published: Sun Oct 11 2020