Starting Small - Part 1 - Start with Who, Not Do

hey everyone and thank you for joining us for the well at sts a church where we are always seeking to bring an ancient faith to a modern world and if that's something you are passionate about as well I hope you'd consider joining us for a special event on Labor Day weekend August 31st and September 1st that's when we'll be hosting our first ever open house event where you can get a behind-the-scenes look at everything we do at sts a over the course of two days you'll get to hear not only from me but also from our staff and lead volunteers the people on the front lines of the ministry to a variety of breakout sessions that you can choose from and on top of that you'll get to experience a full weekend at sts a where you'll have a backstage pass to everything from setup to cleanup and everything in between this is our way of sharing what we've learned over the past seven years and hoping that you could benefit from that experience as you seek to bring an ancient fate to your modern world as well you can learn more and STS a ministries org that's STS a ministries org I hope to see you there now let's get to this week's message and welcome to the well here at SC si I have missed being here and as I mentioned earlier I'm so thankful for the guest speakers that we had the past few weeks who gave me a chance to kind of take off for a little bit but as much as I appreciate them I'm back and I'm staying here for a little bit of time and I got some fun stuff to share with you guys today so let's just jump straight in we're starting a new series today called starting small let me give you the context of where this series is coming from because it's something it's a topic that's near and dear to my heart and anyone who knows me knows I could talk about this subject for a long time and like I said I've been packing it in for four weeks so I got a jump straight in here because I got a lot to share summer is winding down and as summer winds down I know it's not quite done yet but the schools are starting earlier and earlier every year a lot of people are moving into town start their program their semester whatever it may be as summer winds down summers kind of a chaotic time especially if you got children and it's time for the chaos to kind of start to dwindle down it's time to pack away that sunscreen those flip-flops and start to get back to life and structure and routine and all those kinds of things if you got kids in your house I got your kids in my house summer is not a time for routine or structure anything kids wake up at 11 o'clock okay kids watch TV all day honestly I don't know if my kids have brushed her teeth since June I honestly don't know and I don't want to know the answer to that but all I know is it's winding down and now it's time to look forward to like getting back to routine dating back to structure and as I think that way and you may think the same thing like I said starting a new job starting an internship starting a semester getting the kids to start the new school year kind of going back to the the flow of life you think as most people do in terms of what do I want to accomplish we think in terms of goals we think in terms of results I want to start this new year and I want this year to be the year that and then fill in the blank okay this is the year that you know I spend more time at home this is the year that you know I leave the office at six this is the year that if I'm a student it's it's three five only nothing below three five this is the year that I don't waste all the time procrastinating on the like this is the year and we usually think in terms of results what to accomplish and setting goals now anyone who knows me knows I love goals I love goals I have a process every year where every year start the year and I set my goals and I'm like meticulous about judging myself and evaluating myself where I'm against my goals I believe in the process personal goals mean Marianne do like family goals I'm big into goals goals are important but you know what I discovered I'll let you know a little secret goals are not the true indicator of your success the number one indicator of whether you will be successful or not is not the goals that you set it's not and I'll prove it to you think about it for a second everybody here in this room pretty much has the same goals right like don't we all have the same goals what are your goals for the new year all right I want to lose ten pounds I want to you know advance in my career I want to read the Bible more I want to spend less time on my phone okay I want to be more involved with my church like air every body has the same goals our goals really aren't that different we may word it differently or may emphasize different things but the majority of us have pretty much the same goals however the results are quite varied so what that leads me to say is that just setting a goal isn't enough you doubt two people with the exact same goal and completely different results because setting a goal isn't the true indicator of whether or not you'll be successful I think there's a better indicator and that's what we want to talk about here in this series I'm a sports guy so if you're sports you make this kit make sense to you but even if you're not it's just intuitive in sports every game has a winner and a loser they both have the same goal don't the winner and the loser go in to the game with the same goal doesn't every team start the season with where and win the championship this year we're going for number one I can't imagine there's a coach out there who's like fourth place baby we're going for four that's us it's gonna be amazing like no coach has day every team has the exact same goal but the results are quite varied every marriage starts off the same like is there a marriage out there that's like you know what our goal is like five seven years like we get to ten like that's gravy okay no one huh everyone has the same goals but the results are quite varied and that leads me to say the following what's the true difference between the winner and the loser in the football game what's the true difference between the winner and loser when it comes to grades academically what's the difference when it comes to the marriage that makes it and the one that's hanging by a thread it's not goals I believe it's systems because goals goals don't determine success I believe systems do and I'm gonna use the word systems and another word interchangeably habits okay but I want to use the word systems because I'm a systems guy studied systems information okay and I was a consultant and I worked in Mis management information systems I believe in systems I'm all about systems I believe the students who get the best grades are not the ones who have the best goals for the ones who have the best systems for how to study when to study and when when not to go out I believe the marriages that have the best success are not the ones that have the highest goals we want to be happy that everyone has that goal but the ones who have the system we pray together this often we do date night here we don't allow our family to get between us I believe spiritually in every aspect of life financially spiritually any aspect of life the ones who find success is not based on the goals but is based on the systems that are in place to reach those goals goals are great for setting direction we want to go this way we want to be happily married for 50 years that's great for 60 years or however long for the rest of our life okay that's a great goal it sets the direction but the direction enough isn't gonna get you there it's the habits that become the walkway to get you to that goal there's a great book out there it's called atomic habit some of you may have read it by an author named James clear one things he says in it is this he says you don't rise to the level of you don't rise to the level of your goals you fall to the level of your systems that's a good way most pulling out their phone and take a picture that's where they've taken a picture you don't rise to the level of your goals you fall to the level of your systems so let me ask you about your systems you wake up every morning what's the first thing you do you wake up in the morning and pray are you a cuppa the morning check your phone it's a system you open up your Bible to read or you open up the CNN or the news or whatever it may be to read that first it's a system you set your alarm in the morning you and your coworker you all supposed to get to work at the same time one Eve you say two five minutes early when you set at five minutes late that's a system you go out to eat some people eat out four times a week people you got three times a week to time that's a system which will lead to your physical success as well as your financial success and when you go out to eat is your system is supersize that bad boy or you just get the medium size like every normal person you have a system and I'm saying to you it's that system that determines your results and for those who are saying that our Father Anthony you're a little uptight up down I'm not uptight like I'm relaxed I'm go with the flow um as my wife all says lay back okay Laidback look at this you have a system you just may not realize it everyone has a system and your system listen carefully to this your system if you want to know if it's a good system or not a good system look at the results in your life your system is perfectly designed to give you the result that you're getting today so your physical health is a direct result of your system for exercise and eating direct result you don't like the results it's known set a higher goal change your system your spiritual growth is a direct result of your spiritual system your relationship with your children is a direct result of your system in dealing with them you want better results you need a better system you're ok with the same results keep the same system but I'm telling you you will not get better results from the same system you need to change the system now as I said everyone knows how passionate I am about systems about goals about having routines and habits everyone knows that about me like I got a system for everything and you think I'm joking you come ask me I will tell you my system for everything I believe that instead of going Willie million to the day you think it through come up with the best plan and you copy and paste until you come up with a better plan I got a system for how I eat I can tell you exactly what I'm going to eat next Thursday for my afternoon snack at 2:30 exactly what time it'll be do you think I'm joking ok I have a system for my food so right now like I could tell you that you know the next two days I'll be operating on my weekday non-fasting summer schedule of eating which is different than my weekday non-fasting school year schedule which is different than my week end or my fasting schedule for either one of those I come up with a system every season of the year go over it with Mary Ann this is the menu at exactly the times I'm going to be eating you think I'm laughing you think I'm joking come visit my house you'll see I have a system for when I changed my toothbrush and I hope you do as well for the sake of us all I know some people asked some people listen people are just like I don't know I just changed it when it gets frilly that's not a good system I one time was told I remember when we were young we heard that you should change your toothbrush every three months that's what they said every dentist's said every three months I heard that first thing I said is I can make it for I can go there and I did the math if I can go three toothbrushes a year instead of four the savings that I could do so I changed my toothbrush three times a year and I'd say exactly when I change it my birthday is end of August August 29th approximately four months from there is my brother's birthday April 26 so there's four months so there's one approximately four months from before that is Jesus's birthday December 25th so it's Jesus's birthday my brother's birthday and my birthday and that's when I changed my toothbrush it's very simple system okay my haircuts you I can you know one might get my next haircut you can right now go to your calendar and you can figure out when father anything will get his next haircut because it's a very simple system it's not very complicated I go on the Monday or Saturday closest to the 15th of the month it's very simple that way I don't have to look in the mirror and figure it out I go to the calendar when's the 15th what's the closest Monday or Saturday boom I go to Milton and there we go how long I've been going to my Saint Barbara 1988 I've been going to the same barber since 1988 which is old I'd get that that's older than most you I'm 31 years okay going in and I'm going for 32 okay and either he's gonna die or like something like I don't know what I'm gonna do when he goes down cuz I know I've gotten a haircut since 12 years old with anyone other than Milton and you say wow it's amazing that he's with one barber you know the amazing part I've been getting the same haircut since 1988 as well I believe in systems I believe in systems I believe you find what works and you just keep on going with it and there's a man named Aristotle who kind of said the same thing he said we are what we repeatedly do excellence then is not an act but a habit excellence is not an act but a habit let me say that another way here's our key thought for this series I'm gonna repeat it every week and I want you to ingrain this in your head for the rest of your life successful people do consistently what others do occasionally successful people in any aspect of life do consistently but other people do occasionally people who are successful financially do consistently what others do occasionally they have a system the system is I eat at home I don't eat out the system is that I delay gratification as soon as I want something I don't go for it i delay gratification the system is I don't invest my money unless I've done some research and know exactly where I'm vesting my money successful people financially have a system for the money that comes in and the money that goes out health people who are healthy into their into their elderly into the silver years of life of course there's diseases and sickness and that current those are kind of the exception but those who have generally good health are not people who just randomly we're blessed by God and just randomly happen or people who made massive changes to their lives you know the people were successful health-wise the people have a lifestyle people have a lifestyle of it like I said not super sizing the people have a lifestyle of going for the bowl of fruit versus the bowl of ice cream people have a lifestyle of hitting the gym on a consistent basis or taking the stairs instead of the elevator it's systems how about relationally people who are successful relationally are people who have a system and that system is I invest more time face to face than thumb to thumb I have a system if I want to be successful relationally that when I'm with people the phone goes down and I'm present I'm not distracted with any person especially the people who are closest to be people who are successful relationally when hear me stand up here and say we're doing groups people who say you know what I don't have time but I will make time because that is important to me and I want to be successful relationally same is true spiritually you want good spiritual results anyone who has a deep connection to God anyone who feels the presence of God in their life anyone who trusts in God and has that faith that can move a mountain didn't get there by accident if people have a system for fasting for praying forgiving for Bible because successful people do consistently what other people do occasionally now if you're sitting there listening to me and you're like yeah father Anthony I know that but I just can't okay I'm not a disciplined person I'm just I'm not like I have tried and tried and tried to be disciplined I have tried to do the Bible thing I to stop overeating like I tried to stop smoking like I tried to get up like I tried and I tried and I tried I'm just not a disciplined person it's just not for me well I would say that you're not in bad company there because let me show you it one of the toughest most disciplined people on the face of this planet who ever walked on his earth st. Paul listen to what he says in Romans chapter 7 verse 15 and 19 he says what I am doing I do not understand for what I will to do that I do not practice what I hate that I do for the good that I will to do I do not do but the evil that I will not to do that I practice anybody everyone a lot of people nodding their heads this is one that you could just put this up and every one of our bedrooms would be like amen like any one of us could have written this right here and I am thankful that the toughest guy tough-as-nails discipline guys st. Paul said these exact same words what that says to me is if you struggle with building good habits you're in good company you're not alone we're all in the same boat no one came out the womb no one came out their mother's room ready to set consistent habits in every area of life anyone who has done it has gone through struggles just like we all have but together we can make some growth so here's what we're gonna do in this series we are going to start starting next week we're gonna talk about kind of the spiritual principles as well as like the psychological principles behind setting systems and establishing good habits and stopping bad habit we're gonna talk about that and I promise we're gonna get practical and into details and kind of like the how of it all but this week what I want to do is kind of take a step back and look at it from a little bit of a higher level and the first thing that we want to do if we're gonna talk about big changes that start small all big things start small beginnings first want to look at why is it that it is so hard for us to make changes why is it so hard that we struggle I got three reasons why and I think you'll agree with me by the time you I finish the first reason I believe is because we often focus on what but don't understand how we focus on what but we don't understand how we know what we want to accomplish like I said we set goals but we have no idea how to make those goals a reality I know what I want I want to get out of day I want to stop smoking I want to stop procrastinating wasting time online I want to fit into that dress I know what I want and I know what I want to accomplish it and I know exactly when I want it but again kind of like I was say in the beginning so does everybody else like everybody wants to fit in that dress that's why you want it fit me because no one else does everyone wants to get out of debt everyone wants to stop wasting like everyone like no one walks into this year and says I want to get bigger this year that's what I want to do I want to go big this year Nolan says I want to become addicted to one new thing every year one new addiction for 2020 that's my goal for the new year nobody says that everybody says what and it's the same but the problem is we struggle with the how back to sports what's the goal of every sporting event so you plan to game a basketball game of soccer what's the goal the goal is with the exception of golf okay golf sleeve golf okay the goal of every sport is by the end of the game you look at the scoreboard and you have more points than the other team golf is the opposite you want less points okay some scoreboard in basketball soccer football do you look at the scoreboard and the goal is the scoreboard would say that I have more points than the other team are you want to be successful by staring at the scoreboard the whole game being like come on go go go go go if you want to be successful you actually have to forget the scoreboard and focus on the process on the field the scoreboard will take care of itself that was Bill Walsh by the way who said that Bill Walsh was a famous football coach one of the geniuses in pro football he said that you take care of the of what happens on the field of the process be faithful in the process scoreboard will take care of itself and the same is true in life we focused on the results how do I get those results wrong focus focus needs to be on the process and what do I need to do today so that those results take care of themselves someone in Scripture who I believe was very good at this a guy who had great results spiritually a guy who was a true man of God a guy who was a beacon and a midst of a dark dark dark world man of integrity man of who stood strong in the face of all kinds of hardship a guy named Daniel you may have read it he wrote a book in the Old Testament it's called the Book of Daniel very creatively named okay and Daniel did amazing things filled with the Spirit of God okay he's the guy who was thrown in the lion's den and he took the Lions down the Lions were scared the Lions were scared of Daniel okay the Lions didn't touch Daniel well let me show you two verses about who Daniel was the process of Daniel that led to the result that we all want that we all know about two verses first is chapter 1 Daniel chapter 1 verse 8 but Daniel purposed in his heart that he would not defile himself with a portion of the Kings delicacies nor with the wine which he drank context here Daniel was a Hebrew child okay born child of God child of Israel but they were he was born in Cairo he was taken into captivity so he's living in Babylon where there's a whole new set of rules they had their Jewish principles of fasting what to eat and not eat but over here in Babylon nobody cared about any of that stuff so most people forgot about the rules of God but not Daniel you never hear Daniel say When in Rome you never hear Daniel say those outdated antiquated rules from the motherland we don't we don't do those rules here you never heard Daniel say no no why do I need a fast no one else around me is never a day you'll say any of that Daniel said I'm gonna fast but no one else is fasting I'm gonna fast but everyone's offering you the good food but I'm gonna fast but there's not many good food options but I'm gonna fast Daniel had a system you never heard Daniel take a complaint about the system you see him stick strong next verse imma show you from chapter 6 I'll give you a little context before we read it okay if you fast forward the story of Daniel he is like I said in he's a foreigner in this land of Babylon and he starts to work his way up the government the ladder and the king really likes Daniel really likes him because he's like a man of God man of integrity so the king starts to promote Daniel all the way up near the top okay now Daniel is colleagues his coworkers the other governors are jealous of him how this foreigner comes in and like the king loves him and he's like the sweetiepie of the king and he's like a brown-noser and whatever so they try to sabotage Daniel the king wants to promote Daniel to the top and the other guys conspire and they come to the King say hey King we love you everyone loves you we love you you're the best King hey let's come up with this rule and they trick the King into signing a rule which says that anybody who prays to any other god other than you for the next 30 days will be thrown in the lion's den Kings back then kind of had an ego problem they all thought they were God okay so they wanted to be prayed to and worship so the others guys said anyone who prays to any God except you throw him in the lion's den and the King signed that decree not knowing there was gonna cause problems for one of his lead guys Daniel Daniel hears about that law this is what happens Daniel chapter 6 verse 10 now when Daniel knew that the writing was signed he went home and what did he do when he went home what do you think he did says in his upper room with his windows open towards Jerusalem meaning not in private just the way he always was he knelt down on his knees three times that day and prayed and gave thanks before his god as was his custom since early days you can cross out the word custom and you could say as was his system from his early days Daniel had a system my system is I prayed three times a day I prayed in the morning I pray in the afternoon I pray in the evening no no Patino they just signed a thing that says you can't pray hmm I got a system my system is this is what I do Daniel didn't come home and complain dan didn't come home and put on the social media about his injustice this is unfair whatever it may be they didn't sit there and badmouth the King Daniel says I got a system my system is three times a day I stand here like this they did his system Daniel prayed on good days and bad days Daniel prayed on sunny days and cloudy days Daniel prayed when it when he was sad when he was happy when he was frustrated when he was overjoyed Daniel had a system in that system led to the results that we see in him why was Daniel so gifted or sorry why was Daniel so strong against lion why was so fateful why we was Daniel like special was he like gifted and talented spiritually or did he just have a system in place that led to those results it's the small things that nobody sees that leads to the big things that everybody wants it's the small things then nobody sees the leads to the big things that everybody wants so let me ask you this is non judgmental I'm just asking questions do you pray three times a day do you fast weekly no matter what they put in front of you if the answer's no I'm not again I'm not being guilty if the answer's no don't be surprised if we're not like Daniel because you wouldn't be that hypocritical person that would expect great results with no work like you wouldn't be that foolish person that thinks you could coach through med school without studying you wouldn't be that person who says I have a great goal for this year I'm gonna lose twenty pounds and then just sit at home and never go to the gym and eat your doughnuts you wouldn't be that person but somehow spiritually we think that's okay that we want to be great we want to do great but we want to put a system in place and habits to get there small things and no one sees the lead to the big things that everyone wants whatever the problem is in your life whatever the goal that you're driving towards in life I promise you focus on the system to get you there not on the goal so that's number one we understand the what we want we don't understand the how to get there number two we don't see progress fast enough why we struggle to see change we don't see progress fast enough we're impatient we're instant gratification and when we fail to see the results that we want in the time that we want we end up calling it quits I won't do a show of hands but I know the answer to this question we've all been here I'm gonna lose weight I'm gonna get in shape I'm in a hardcore diet I'm not gonna eat after this then I'm not gonna eat that and I died and I died and I died and I died for a whole week and then I go to the gym three times that week and I'm like I'm even like the ab roller thing okay or that the buns of steel whatever and I'm doing that like every single day and I'm killing it this week and then I weigh myself at the end of the week and I lost a half a pound and I say to myself what's the point maybe you struggle with death and you have college loans that have been around student loans been around so long you give him a name - like a pet in your house like this is my pet you know whatever is the college loan and you owe thirty five thousand five hundred dollars in your college tuition or whatever it may be and you say you know what I'm gonna get out of debt and I'm gonna stop hundred ooh I'm gonna stop going to Starbucks and I'm gonna do the Kurama to drink the free coffee at the office with the peons okay don't be one of those guys who just drinks the free coffee and you are stopping the Starbucks you're not going out for lunch you're packing it in there and you save you know by the end of one month you saved $100 at that from not going out for coffee you saved $100 and you look at your tuition and instead of owing $35,500 zero thirty five thousand four hundred dollars you say what's the point spiritually you pray every day you read your Bible fast you give in the money box you go to church you're doing the right thing then you come home from church and you get into a huge fight with your spouse then the kids drive you crazy and you lose your cool on them and you just think to yourself man what's the point what's the point I did the right thing I'm still the same person what's the point listen carefully it's at that point when you have that fault which you've all had listen very carefully this is very important it's at that point when you have that thought what's the point that you may make a critical mistake and if you make this mistake which we've all done it if you allow yourself to make this mistake you're done but if you can get past this mistake you're gonna be in good shape and that mistake when we think what's the point III didn't go to Starbucks I'm still in so much debt I exercise three times this week I don't lost a half a pound I did the thing spiritually and it made no difference a my relationship with my kids don't make the following mistake we wrongly conclude we wrongly wrongly wrongly conclude that small decisions don't matter that small decisions don't matter much we think to ourselves I skip Church lightning didn't hit me going to church not that big a deal we think to ourselves my kid driving me crazy can't get him to be quiet I just gave him the phone he didn't go to jail become a delinquent not a big deal just give him that phone anytime he goes crazy we think to ourselves you know what I know I shouldn't eat that doughnut I know I should eat that fruit but I ate the donut no heart attack I didn't see like the fat like coming over and we think no big deal we mistakenly think that small decisions whether good or bad make no difference oh but they do you may not see the difference in the moment but you got to realize that the difference even though it may not be seen it is being stored I'll give you an example of how the difference is not seen but it is stored one of the things on my menu both my fasting and non fasting menu okay this is kind of across all of them is a cup of tea I drink two cups of tea a day and the reason I drink two cups of these because I'm trying cups of tea I'm trying to get away from the dessert and the only way I can not eat dessert is I drink a cup of tea that's the way I do it cuz I've did something to clean the pal that's just the way I was raised so I clean the palate with the tea other thing the tea does it slows me down because I tend to eat very very quickly so you can grab it so I have to force myself to drink this cup of tea which is a thousand degrees so that slows me down by the time I finish I come to my senses I don't eat the dessert how does tea how does water boil when you're making a cup of tea you take water and it's room temperature okay so let's say it's 70 degrees but eventually you need it to get up to the boiling point which is 212 degrees okay so you turn that water on the fire or you have the electric one like we have you push the little button and what happens you don't really see anything happen you just kind of see water and then after a minute you see bubbles but you'd be foolish to think that the water was just Same Same Same Same Same Same Same bubbles what happened is you turn the water on 70 degrees now you turn a little fire on and then went to 71 then went to 72 then went to 80 and then a 90 and 100 and you don't see any difference okay many like me you're watching your weight like hurting her you hurt her you hurt you think if you look at it like the elevator if you push the button it'll go faster right so you you're staring at the water hoping it'll go faster it looks the same it looks the same it looks the same it looks the same but is it the same the small differences are not being thrown away just because they're not seen doesn't mean they're not stored and eventually you hit 212 you get the bubbles and you say wow tipping point and I'm telling you your life I'm telling you in every area of your life I'm telling you take my word for it there's a tipping point you be faithful in the process and I guarantee you there's a tipping point just cuz you don't see it today sometimes you gotta wait a while for that tipping point but you go keep going you're faithful and you're faithful and you'll get there let me show you a way to depict this graphically this is results over time this is linear line right here what we think should happen I think I should go to the gym workout I should be 5 pounds less the next day I think that I should you know save money not go to Starbucks iving on my debts decreased by 10 percent that day like I want to see results and I want to see them now this is what we think happens do I know it really happens this that's actually more accurate on the way it goes it oftentimes you don't see anything and sometimes you may even see negative but I'm telling you you stick with the system you get a good system you consistently do it it's just a matter of time before you hit that breakpoint and you turn the corner let me say that not another way I'm give you some examples no one wrecks their life in one night no one has a heart attack from one meal no one develops lung cancer from one cigarette you may think oh that was the disaster you didn't know one it's not one fight that is ruined your marriage it wasn't that one Thanksgiving that put the distance between you and your son it's not one bad investment that led you to the debt that you're in financially it wasn't I know we think it was we tend to overestimate the value and the importance of these massive events these life-altering events but we minimize the importance of the small consistent ones over time most likely if you are in an area where you're seeing failure or struggling or whatever it may be it wasn't one night you know what it was it was a little compromise here and then a little corner cut here and then a little you know justification or rationalization here and then a little selfishness here and then a little here and a little here and literally I look back and say Oh a big mistake that I made nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh wasn't a big mistake but you know what same with the opposite there are many people who are successful in this world in many areas of life I'm sure there are some which are the exception where I'm about to say but I don't know anyone I know anyone who is successful in any area of life they made it overnight and anyway I don't know anyone who's who successfully successful with their children just kind of born that way and just kind of one night they took them to Disney World in their five that's it they were kind of good for life Oh anyone who'll I had a great honeymoon and their marriage is coasting for the rest of their life anybody who just like went to a really great church service and they're just coasting through life based on that the people who are successful are the ones who you know what I'm going to church every week but it's it's you're tired I'm going to church but you had a busy week I'm going to church this is my favorite but it's raining outside the church is inside who cares if it's raining outside we have a roof I'm going to church people who are successful financially small decisions I give God before I give myself I sacrifice myself before I sacrifice anything else so you know what I really want that cup of coffee but you know what drink like I said the free one I really want that new gadget nope got to do the right thing financially I really want a new car can't afford it the people who are successful financially small decisions over time the people who life with a good reputation are not the people who never face temptation but it's the people who said I will go above reproach that'll be beyond I will not go near the edge of the mountain I will not put myself in a situation with someone of the opposite sex I will not put myself in a situation with someone of the opposite sex that could be misconstrued misunderstood or I could be tempted beyond what I am able those are the people who are successful not people were just lucky not just the people who just happened up to walk into it it's the people our systems say will not allow myself to be in a situation where I may make a mistake I will walk above reproach I will not play with fire st. Paul says it this way Galatians 6:9 is kind of our theme verse for this series and let us not grow weary while doing good for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart and you can multiply that by minus one and the same is true on the inverse let us not grow weary while doing good for in due season we shall reap and the same is true if we are doing bad we shall reap that as well and just because you don't see the reaping of the bad today you will eventually with time like I said wasn't one cigarette that led to lung cancer it wasn't one French fry that led to the heart attack you will reap the bad and you will reap the good let us not grow weary while doing good for in due season we shall reap let's recap first reason why we struggle to change because we understand the what we don't understand the how and it's more than what we all have the same what we don't want we have to understand the how number two we're impatient we don't see progress fast enough so we think there's no there's no big deal with a little change they don't make that big a difference then our third reason and this one's gonna take a little bit of explanation follow me here on this one our our distorted identity sabotages our success our distorted identity sabotages our success let me explain what I mean here when we failed which is inevitable we will fail the enemy will whisper into our ear and try to convince us then not just you failed but you are a failure that's what his job is he doesn't care that you failed like that's good that you failed but that's not his goal his goal is to convince you you are a failure let's go back to the verse that st. Paul said earlier from Romans 7 where st. Paul is saying I'm struggling here what I will to do I do not do and what I will not do that's what I practice look what happens to st. Paul happens to all of us happen him as well get a start in verse 19 this the verse read early for the good that I will to do I do not do but then now they eat but the evil that I will not do that I practice watch what watch this know now if I do what I will not to do it is no longer I who do it but sin that dwells in me a wretched man that I am who will deliver me from this body of death do you see what happened there happens to all of us including st. Paul because he was a human just like us the enemy connects your failure with your identity that I failed in this and I failed in this so therefore I'm a failure I'm no good I'll never be any good you try to quit smoking and you couldn't you're never going to be able to because you're a failure you tried to get out of debt you did you tried a million times you're never going to be able to you're just never gonna be able to make good decisions you're never gonna be able to be healthy you're never get your relationship back with your kid you're never gonna have a happy marriage you're never gonna be good spiritually like you're always gonna lose your temper you're never gonna be anything he wants to connect it to our identity again as I said earlier I'm sure there's exceptions to this rule that I'm about to say I'm sure there is I'm not an exception to this and I don't know anyone who's an exception to this I don't know anyone who doesn't struggle with their identity I don't know anyone especially a great person for God who did anything great for God who didn't at some point feel like I'm inferior to what God is asking me to do like I'm not good enough like Moses Moses brought water from a rock Moses brought food from heaven Moses split the sea but Moses when God called him is it most is like I can't do that I'm not a good leader not a good leader who's a better leader than Moses let two million Middle Easterners through the desert somehow they survived yeah they got lost a few times but I mean come on who's a better leader than most most and I'm not good enough Gideon took down with 300 soldiers and our army of thousands and tens of thousands what did what Gideon says I'm not a good fighter you know I've been fired you took 300 against 10,000 that's behind a good fighter but you're the best fighter on there is Jeremiah I'm inexperienced I can't be a prophet no you're a pretty good profit you're the best of all the prophets I don't know anyone who did anything great for God who fulfilled God's plan for their life we didn't at some point say I'm just not good enough so if that's you I'm not good enough don't let the devil convince you that you know how it works there's a cycle the cycle is this an unhealthy identity creates unhealthy habits and then unhealthy habits reinforce the unhealthy identity identity leads to habits or systems and have it lead back to identity what I mean by that what I mean is if you don't see yourself as a healthy person I'm not a health I'm not an in shape person I'm not that guy then you know what you're gonna be faced with the decision at the buffet line that all of us are faced with okay the stinky salad at the beginning or the good stuff at the end and you're gonna say well you know what I'm not a healthy person I'm not an in shape person so you're gonna make decisions based on your identity of who you are exactly it's a classic example of the kid who thinks he's dumb okay you're dumb you're never gonna be any good you're dumb you're never gonna be any good you're dumb you never gonna be any good hey it's time to study what's the point of studying I'm dumb I'm never gonna be any good and then he doesn't study and then he gets a bad grade and that reinforced his identity which is he's dumb I read a study there's a group of people who are trying to help people or trying to study like people who are trying to quit smoking people who are trying to quit smoking and some people are more successful than others and they study people okay they had the group together and invited them kind of into two groups and they kind of gave him this assignment one group of people was told when somebody offers you a cigarette okay so there's a group of us we're all trying to quit smoking you offer me a cigarette one group would say no I'm sorry I'm trying to quit smoking the other group would say no I don't smoke anymore which one do you think was more successful in quitting smoking the group that said I'm trying to quit smoking what was their identity of themself a smoker a smoker who is trying and they often times relapsed the other guy who said I don't smoke anymore his identity was smoking is in my past smoking is like the junior high me but that's not the me now now I'm a nonsmoker I'm a nonsmoker right now and those people found much greater success so because of that here's our challenge for today and I'm gonna challenge you today to do something I know it's gonna be hard but this is important this is important because we're starting the new year and I've said in the beginning we're starting the new year we were trying to make changes we don't want to just go like let's not just make more dumb resolutions that we fail after after after two weeks like we need to stop that cycle so if we want to stop that cycle we need to do something different so I'm gonna challenge you that before you set your goals your resolutions that I want to lose 20 pounds that I want to start this habit like before you do that of the what it is that you want start with your identity and specifically before asking what you want to do ask who you want to become and I'm telling you that's a game-changer I promise you that's a game-changer if you start with identity you start with who not do the goal is not to read more books the goal is I'm a reader the goal is not to run a race the goal is I'm a runner I'm an athlete the goal is not to say a prayer you're gonna say a prayer every day the goal is I'm a man of Prayer my identity not just what I want to do who do I want to be not just I want to get out of debt I want to be a faithful steward of the resources that God has given me I want to be generous with my money I want to give before I spend I want to be faithful that God looks at what he gave me and God says I gave it to a faithful steward that's why I want to be I want to be an involved dag I don't want to say I want to spend one night a week with my kid I want to say I want to be an involved father I want to be a father listen carefully if you got young kids I want to be a father who when my children are old enough to not have to spend time with me that they want to spend time with me that was my measure of success is that when they're out of the house that they actually want to come back I want to be a spouse who's encouraging who's supportive who's loving I want to be a spouse who's a joy to come home to when you know who you'll know what to do when you know who you'll know what to do you walk out of here and say we said there's a young adult barbecue here today you walk out of here today and you say I'm a healthy person I'm a healthy person I'm a healthy person you can walk up to that buffet line was a healthy person choose M&Ms or apple slices you walk out of here and say only be a man of God or a woman of God or person of God or what a child of God you'll wake up tomorrow morning child of God opens the phone checks the email opens the prayer book child of God spends more time on the Facebook or reading the good book your and Endit identity shapes your actions so who are you what's your identity do you want to be be anyone you want to be remember when we were kids I wanna be a fireman I want to be a spaceman I want to be a basketball player I want to be a priest you know I'm gonna code all the stuff that kids talk about who you want to be I'm asking you I'm not telling you don't tell me who you are tell me how you want to be you me anyone you want to be you me anyone you want it may for some it may take some more work to get there would you me anyone you want to be what's your identity who what do you want people to say about you what do you want people to say about you at work oh no that person is a fill in the blank what do you want what you want to be man of integrity honesty hard worker or the corner cutting guide or the talks about himself the whole time guy or the oblivious to what everyone thinks about him guys look who do you want to be you get to choose what do you want your children to say about you would you want your wife to say about you you want your husband to say about you what do you want God to say about you you get to choose and once you choose once you choose who the do becomes a lot easier leave you with this verse 2nd Corinthians 5:17 says if anyone is in Christ he's a new creation new creation old things have passed away behold all things have become new and this is your chance summers winding down here comes the school year you get a chance all things new don't tell me who you were I know who you work tell me who it is that you want to be and tell me who it is that you are going to next we thought is that we're gonna start putting some systems in place so you tell me who it is that you want to be and I tell you I don't care how deep your pit is you can get out of your pit I don't care how far you fall you can turn it around I don't care how difficult your situation may be man we are gonna plug away we're gonna like the water boiling we're gonna go from 70 to 80 to 90 to 100 and you're gonna be it's gonna take some time it's gonna take some time but we're gonna we're gonna keep on working we're gonna keep on working because we know that successful people do consistently what other people only choose to do occasionally my prayer for this series you will be inspired to live new and come up with a plan to get you there let's stand together and say a prayer in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit one God amen Heavenly Father Lord we thank you from the bottom of our heart we thank you Lord that you give us a chance to be new that you throw in front of us Lord a chance to be a new creation in you that you make all things new and old things pass away but I pray that you would inspire us to believe that you want to do something great this coming here in our homes and our hearts and our families in our relationships lord help us to believe that you got something great for us and to be ready to do whatever it takes to get there we pray this in the name of your son the intercessions and the prayers of all your saints here says we pray thankfully our Father who art in heaven hallowed be thy name thy kingdom come thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us and lead us not into temptation but deliver us an evil one in Christ Jesus our Lord for thine is the kingdom the power and the glory forever amen

Channel: STSA Church

Views: 12,061

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Id: fTFA3AM4Xeg

Length: 49min 56sec (2996 seconds)

Published: Sun Aug 04 2019