The Kind That Breaks - Part 1 - The Superpower of Kindness

so we spent many hours having this discussion okay because we had government clients and that basically meant we did absolutely nothing taught her so I taught myself how to juggle when I was a consultant and I also figured out what's the very best superpower to have so if you could have any superpower in the whole wide world what would it be how cool would it be to fly never up sit in traffic again how cool would it be if you add flash kind of speed that you could leave the house literally one minute before you had to get to work and you'd be able to make it on time how cool if you had superhuman strength like The Incredible Hulk or like a wrestler or like your favorite priest okay all of these are great superpowers but let me tell you after like I said I was a consultant for a government contract so I know the answer to this question you know what the best superpower is the best superpower I don't know did someone said what you say healing and regeneration that's overrated let me give you a better with you I came up with this one and once I said it everyone in the room agreed this is the best one is that I want the superpower that no matter what anybody says I always have the perfect comeback so you know when you like someone says something and you respond and you get home and you're like man I wish I would have said that I want that superpower that no matter what I'm always just like yeah and I stick it to him and I never feel like I regret some like that's the superpower that I won that's a cool superpower is it not but as great as superpower as that is you're stuck on the healing and regeneration I see okay you got offended by it but let me tell you about a more realistic superpower that I believe we're going to talk about here in this series a real superpower that has real superpower abilities that actually is available to everybody that's available to you and me no genetic mutation required no heart shape herbs or spider bite needed a superpower that you and me have an access to and it's right at the tip of our fingers and let me tell you what this superpower can do before I tell you what it is I have a superpower that we're gonna talk about here today that can change relationships think of the toughest relationships in your life of that you know teenage son and you're in that teenage son phase or that person at work that you just can't seem to get along with a direct report or a boss or a co-worker or whatever it may be a mother-in-law a stepfather a course the easy one of course which I'm trying to avoid my best to say is the spouse okay hopefully that doesn't fall in that category but if we're honest a lot of us have tried to make that relationship work and we just can't what if I gave you a superpower I talked to you about a superpower that I believe is 89% effective to change relationships at eighty nine percent of people when they try to use this superpower find that it can transform relationships especially those that are the most difficult the superpower I'm talking about is the superpower of kindness and that's a superpower that as we'll see here in a series is available to you and me and the results are undeniable for the next five weeks we're gonna take a look at this topic of kindness series called the kindness that the kind that breaks and it's based on this book all right which is called the kindness challenge anyone ever anyone see this book I read this okay by lady named Shanti felt and she's wrote many good books on marriage and relationships and things like that and in this book she talks about a 30-day challenge where everyone chooses one person and you choose one person for 30 days and you commit to doing three things for this one person for 30 days and actually one of them isn't even something to do with something to not do that for 30 days if you keep these commitments the results of her research are overwhelming according to her research that anyone who tries this this 30 day kindness challenge and does the three things like I said one of them is something not to do 89 percent of people who did this and she did this whole national study eighty-nine percent saw improvements in their relationship 46 person of that 89 said they saw a general improvement in the relationship and things were better and they couldn't necessarily pinpoint how but just things felt better 43 percent of that 89 percent said it was a distinct and noticeable difference in their relationship let's see the black panther do that let's see Captain America with all his powers transform hard relationships tough relationships relationships that we prayed about missions that we tried relationships that we went to counseling relationships that we wish for relationships that we gave up on kindness is a superpower that can do that truth of the matter is we all have one two three sixteen people in our life that drive us crazy we all have people in our lives the drive is crazy we all have people we don't know what to do with well I'm gonna challenge you for the next 30 days actually 'he's gonna begin next sunday and i'll tell you why in a minute i'm gonna challenge you for 30 days to try this kindness challenge and what you're gonna see is that you have tried before and we're just kind of like trying my best like be nicer or try harder but when we go with the scientific research okay of someone who has studied this stuff and we see how it ties in with what jesus told us in the new testament and we put these things together i promise you there's power there and there's effectiveness there that you may not have ever seen before but you hopefully will see in this series let's take a step back what is kindness kindness is a hard word to define kindness means be nice and nice is kind of hard kindness means you know do good things be friendly smile well I came up with a definition and it's not a AAA you won't find this definition in a dictionary but I put it on your handout it's just kind of my working definition and I define kindness as being good when someone else is not as being good when the person is not good or doing good when the other person is not doing good it means an unconditional goodness towards another person it means regardless of how you act I make a decision I'm gonna go do something kind for you I'm gonna be kind to you it has nothing to do with the response or the behavior or the condition of the other person I think for example of the Good Samaritan the story of the Good Samaritan was a guy who was a Samaritan and he a Hebrew and the Hebrews hated the Samaritans they talk bad about them they called them dogs and pigs and the Samaritan the Good Samaritan unconditional had nothing to do with their treatment of him decided to help this guy in the side of the road nothing was in it for him in fact he lost a lot by doing it that's kindness to be good when the other person is not I think of Jesus on the cross when they mocked him and they crucified him and they yelled at him and they pierced him and he said Father forgive them unconditional it was nothing from their end that solicited his goodness that's kindness and if you look at it think about it that's everything in our relationship with God our relationship with God is based on the kindness of God because we did nothing to deserve it when he's good towards us if he's in chapter 2 verse 4 says this but says God who is rich in mercy because of his great love with which he loved us even when we were dead in trespasses means nothing good made us a lot listen now it gives a list made us alive together with Christ he raised us up together he made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus that in the ages to come he might show the exceeding riches of His grace in his kindness towards us in Christ Jesus kindness is the nature of God to be good and do good when the person doesn't deserve it it's who God is at his core that's why this series has great power potential that's why I say it is a super power because we are not trying harder but we are gonna do in this series when we take kindness we're gonna harness the power of God in our life because kindness is who God is and when we take that kindness which is God and we start to apply it stuff is gonna happen give you another verse Titus chapter three verse four and five again when the kindness and love of God our Savior toward man appeared not by works of righteousness which we have done but according to His mercy he saved us the kindness of God appeared not because we did anything to deserve it that's what kindness means it is who God is at his very nature question for you kindness today in the world high medium low as a society how good are we at kindness I would say kindness is at an all-time low and I'm not a historian but I might breathe life the few years I've been on this earth you see that the kindness of us as a society is going straight downhill and it goes there fast for example in our society our culture we value insults more than compliments and I can prove it to you it's called social media how many times you go on your Facebook your Twitter your your whatever feed and you see people complimenting those in positions of authority or you see people saying hey this was great or how many times you see people encouraging one another versus what we see is and it was out there into public we criticize we insult that's easier to do we value that you see compliments you ignore that you see insults you hit retweet we would rather when it comes to TV and movies we'd rather see people fight versus people be friendly with each other anyone will get excited if they made a show called the kindest Housewives of Atlanta anyone anticipating that coming up anytime soon in our society it is easier to see negative than it is to see positive let me tell you what Shanti Feld handed found in her and she wrote in her book is a quote from her book here said people have always had a remarkable capacity for both graciousness and harshness but today it seems harshness is more easily let loose it often seems the more negative a story is the more it gets aired and aired and aired again we like to know when the celebrities messed up not when they did good people routinely post inflammatory comments on social media just to incite reactions and we all know that one person who complains about everything our souls can be fed with so much negativity grumbling and frustration that we simply become dumb the world today is not conducive to kindness kindness is not something that's promoted we promote a much different set of values than the kindness that we read about in the scripture we promote a every-man-for-himself we promote a fight for your rights and don't take no for an answer we promote a I gotta get mine kind of a life and here's what I want to say about that in so doing we may be sabotaging our own happiness that in an effort to get mine and in an effort to fight for my rights we might be sabotaging our own happiness in the process let me give an example simple example let's say you're irritated with someone you're annoyed with someone your boss you're annoyed at your boss for whatever he or she did you're annoyed at your spouse for just being themselves for being your spouse okay you're annoyed at your sister you're annoyed at your mother you're annoyed at you're annoyed at the guy in front of you okay in the traffic okay you're annoyed at the guy in two Starbucks who pays in cash who pays in cash these days you're annoyed at that guy you're irritated you're bothered and then you decide that you're gonna go and tell everyone in the world about it you're gonna go tell your coworkers this guy's so annoying let me tell you how knowing my spouse is let me tell you what my what that so-and-so did and you go tell everyone in the world about it and you think about it all day long and you come home from work and you tell your kids and you go online and you post it on the social media so-and-so is a jerk you feel better or worse is your level of irritation and frustration now higher or lower after complaining about it all day and stewing about it all day let's say the opposite let's say you get annoyed early in the morning something your coworker does and you make a decision but you know what I can think about it all day I'm not gonna tell anyone about it I'm not going to vent I'm not going to even tell my spouse about I'm not gonna post anything online I'm should go on my date and in fact I'm gonna go be kind to that person how would you feel at the end of it better worse you know the answer because we've all done option a it doesn't make us feel better see this is when it comes to like my job this is like marriage counseling 101 this is like the first thing you're ever going to counsel anybody in marriage we're ever going to counsel anyone who's coming to you with marriage problems not even counsel just be a friend you have to know this following principle that complaining about your spouse doesn't change anything like you sit there and you want to convince me that your spouse is a bozo and that she is selfish and that he is or whatever does that change the fact of anything does that change anything like you stand there spend 10 minutes 20 minutes to convince me of how bad somebody else is does that change the reality does that change anything no wrong it does change something you know what changes changes you it makes you more negative it makes you more discouraged it makes you more irritable it makes you more frustrated more annoyed makes you more hopeless about the situation because you just spent all this time stewing about it I said a minute ago the venting thing we take a little second right here and talk about venting we abuse this word venting there is a time and a place for venting and it is an important thing to get stuff out but we totally abuse this and we say oh I'm just venting no you're not venting you're complaining you're taking something and you're making it much much bigger by your desire to stew about it day after day after day I understand at the time we need to vent but we go way overboard with this sometimes or we call prayer requests pray for me and pray for this a time prayer that's gossip that's complaining and that's negativity and that only makes us feel worse kindness has the exact opposite that's another quote I've seen a remarkable pattern during the decade of surveying thousands of people about their inner insecurities and needs a pattern that up ends all our ideas about what leads us to thrive in life this is super duper important listen carefully I've seen what makes us miserable and what lights us up and as you might guess it makes a big difference needs are being met and when others know how to avoid hurting us she makes that like that's important it makes a big difference when we experience fulfillment at work and love and appreciation at our home that stuff is important but listen carefully but above all that is one greater bear is that should be sorry but above all there is one greater factor greater factor than all those other things whether we thrive depends far more on how we choose to treat others that on how we ourselves are treated boom how we choose to treat others then on how we ourselves are treated in fact when handled well that one factor often leaves up those other things that light us up handled poorly and often leads to misery here's our key thought for this series I want you to write it down and I want you to remember this all the days of your life our key thought for this series heard Pete this every week our happiness our happiness depends far more on how we choose to treat others then on how we ourselves are treated our happiness depends far more on how we choose and circle the word choose because it is a choice how we choose to treat others and on how we ourselves are treated that's kind of the opposite of the way we were led to believe the way we were raised isn't it like that's very counterintuitive we think we're not happy because others don't treat us well and we had a rough break but what according to the research is the reason we're not happy is not because of how others treat us but because how we treat others and you know people like this you know people who are satisfied who are fulfilled who are doing well in life and you know it's because of the way they treat others not the way others treat them and yes other people end up being nicer to them but it's because of the way they treat others and you also know I hate to say this no pointing aloud you know certain people who no matter what the scenario is they can find something they can complain they have a reason to talk to the manager in every restaurant they have a reason to bad review every product and you know those people is it that the world is against them and the way people are treating them or is a decision on their part according to Shanti Feld Ham the key to our happy place the key to our happy place in life is a decision that we make to be kind or not kind to care about myself or to be kind to others who are around me we're gonna tackle what this kindness means we're gonna be very specific all right again I don't want to talk about kindness in the general way I want to talk about three specific things that we're gonna challenge each other to do three things and we're gonna talk each week we can talk about one of them okay so well like I'll go over them quickly right now but three commitments that we are going to do and one of them is a not do so really the only two things to do and want to avoid doing over 30 days and as I show you these three things okay there's gonna be a temptation to say no that's too hard I can't do that with so-and-so I'm telling you I told you eighty-nine percent effectiveness right you know we're the greatest effectiveness is where you'll see the greatest results and those relationships that are most troubling like to move a relationship from very good to great like that's important okay you'll see some but to take a relationship from down here and to move it up here that's where you'll see the greatest effectiveness so don't don't start off with a defeatist mindset which says this is gonna be too hard just stick with me all right and let's discuss them and then we'll see here's the three commitments that we're gonna do and they're on your hand down we'll talk about them like I said one week at a time NIC's negativity practice praise carry out kindness the first one is not something to do but something to not do we're gonna try for 30 days this is the hardest to not say anything negative about this person that's not the hard part we're going to try not only to not say it but to not even think we're gonna do our best to not say or think anything negative about that slob we're gonna get it all out now today okay or about that that ingrate or about that selfish or about like get it all out today because for 30 days we're not gonna say anything negative when I can complain to our spouse we're not going to like I said prayer requests venting whatever it may be for 30 days we're gonna force yourself not to say or think anything negative about another person number two we're gonna replace that with something positive we are going to for 30 days find one thing every day to sincerely praise the other person for we're gonna force ourselves to find something beneficial in those cut-in that person whoever they may be find one thing praiseworthy and then third we're gonna do one act of kindness or generosity every day and like I said as we go through the weeks we'll kind of talk about specific examples of what that could be okay doesn't mean you need to they're not it could be something as simple as hey she usually makes the coffee in the morning I'm gonna get up five minutes early and I'm gonna make the coffee simple active kinds that need to be anything hard then it decides on something it costs a lot of money or a lot of time it just means hey as I'm passing through the office I say hey you know what I have an extra treat I won this treat and my church on Sunday here you go here's my treat from Sunday who wouldn't be happy to get a treat on a Monday morning like it's just very small simple things that's it those are our three commitments mixed negativity practice praise carry out kindness and here's the important part to remember what I say in the beginning this is 100% unconditional meaning I'm gonna challenge you this week but your homework assignment for this week is not to do any of these things but it's to make a commitment that for 30 days you're gonna do this for one person not many people one person if you're tempted to say I want to do this for both of my children don't do it for both of your children do for just one okay because you will find the greatest impact when you focus and hone all your kindness on one person and then after those 30 days hopefully it's moving then copy and paste and do it with the next one okay but what I'm saying is don't divide up your energy amongst many people choose just one person 30 days you commit to this you're gonna do it regardless of how they respond they may not be nice back they may not be kind to you even say thank you they may not even notice but you are committed to for 30 days you're gonna keep this commitment up I said earlier 89% of the relationships that tried this saw improvement but 89% did not see improvement in the first week the 30-day challenge and the more dysfunctional your relationship is the more you need to be patient like even messing up a relationship for 30 years not gonna get fixed in 30 minutes we need to be committed to doing it even when there's no response even when there's a negative response that's why kindness it's super power it's not for the faint of heart it's not one of those things that that's easy to do if you're committed it's gonna cause you to truly be christ-like and just so you know first one I told you I think that's the hardest one I thought about this because I I read the book okay and I started to you know examine myself and I said oh the negativity want oh that's easy I'm not a negative person I'm honest but I'm not negative I'm just a very honest person like I bet this should be easy in we will talk about this and we get to negativity negativity just doesn't mean just saying like you're an idiot there's seven kinds of negativity that we'll talk about and one of them is exasperation you don't exasperation is ah that's a form of negativity and I realize you know what I may never say to my children you guys are idiots I would never say that but I actually do say that when they come to me and I'm like ah or the I roll uh you all know we all know an eye roller uh that's the form of negativity that pretty much says you're an idiot we'll talk about that when we get to that but my point is to say is when we do this thing the right way what you're going to realize is you may not be as kind of person as you think you are we all think we're kind but what you may be what you may realize is when you go into depth with this is that who you think you are and the reality there's a gap better what you say you want for this relationship and what you're actually doing there's a gap what you're doing is not working towards what you say you want you say you want peace you say you want closeness but what your behavior is not working towards this so we're going to fix that in this series and if we can figure this out with one relationship we can change that relationship we can change a home we change an office we changed the world maybe we try to change White House Congress that kind of area but we'll leave that for now okay well that's the superpower the other thing that you'll see which I'll talk about at the end is one of the things that we'll do is we'll sign up there's an email list okay if you'll go to SCS a dot Church slash kindness you'll be able to sign up for an email from the author okay anyone who like does this challenge they have like 30 days of emails that will give you tips or ideas the tips or ideas are not instead of these three they're on top of the three so you're gonna do these three every single day and then it'll give you like a tip say hey you know what maybe today you could whatever or maybe today you know pray for them in this kind of way and there's email lists for if you can do this for your spouse you can do it for a child we can do this and at work like there's different ones specific but we'll get to that when we get there bottom line kindness not easy but absolutely worth it that's what Jesus told us right here Luke 6:35 he didn't realize how many verses on kindness in the New Testament did you but love your enemies do good and lend hoping for nothing in return and your reward will be great your reward will be great says Jesus you will be sons in the most high because he is kind to the unthankful and eat now now that we understand what we're gonna try to do jesus said great reward we realize it's the power of God in our life let me tell you three real quick superpowers that come with kindness kindness is one of those superpowers that comes with many other superpowers okay so you get this this thing called kindness start doing it and you'll start to see other superpowers coming at you and we'll go along the ways of Superman right here for some of them number one kind is when you do it right makes you bulletproof kindness makes you bulletproof think of a situation that annoys you think of a person that frustrates you or irritates you let's say it's you know your mom lectures you day after day after day it drives you crazy or let's say your boss sends you an email at you know five o'clock p.m. know you want to leave and he sends you an email he needs were like drives you crazy or you know when you're you're driving and the merging and then that guy who goes on the shoulder till the very end and pretends there was an accident but you know it wasn't an accident think of a situation that just drives you bonkers and you want to do something about it whatever pushes your buttons whoever pushes your buttons think of that as an emotional bullet that people fire at you and can cause damage that driver can cause damage that mother can cause damage that that that boss can cause damage those are emotional bullets kindness makes those bullets bounce right off I'm rubber you're glue kind of a thing or no yeah yeah I'm rubber you're glue whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you kind of a thing it makes it bounce off how by pre determining that I am going to be kind no matter what the situation is their efforts to annoy me have no effect I won't read you a story okay that she speaks about in the book here illustration that she gives okay this is not her but this is someone who did the study said I think about when I'm driving on the highway my job of course he says it sarcastically my job of course is to enforce the rules of the road on behalf of all civilized society okay and I agree with him this is the right way so when two lanes are merging into one and everyone has waited their turn for a half a mile and there's the inevitable jerk who speeds all the way up to the end and tries to squeeze in I'm so irritated I hope none of you guys are that jerk by the way what kind and there's some satisfaction in preventing him from doing that okay you know that guy who okay the basically saying use that guy but it doesn't make me feel any less stressed or on edge than I was before and quite frankly if I'm a jerk in response it doesn't feel great but if I decide in advance that I'm just not going to stand on my rights in that type of situation and instead I'm going to react kindly something changes the next time that event rolls around or whenever someone wrongs me the stress or anxiety of it roll right off I might still stand up for what's right especially if it's on behalf of others but being kind about it guarantees that I will be able to move beyond the initial anger and that incident quickly as opposed to getting stuck and mulling over it the bullet hit but it bounced right off BIP sure says the same thing this way proverbs 25 21 if your enemy is hungry give him bread to eat he is thirsty give him water to drink for so you will heap coals of fire on his head and the Lord will reward you he can't get away with it and she'd get away with it there and get away with it look in the end you know why I'm kind because I don't want the damage that comes from that emotional bullet I don't want to sue all day about some jerk who merged in at the last second why don't let him ruin rest of my day that one be miserable the rest of my life coz something my boss did like out why am i let give that person that power over me you know how I see this personally I sometimes I meet people random places that are very much against God and even more so hate priests and I met some of the rudest rudest people in time at a bus stop was waiting to get a rental car and Cleveland I still remember like it was yesterday a guy blew smoke in my face okay he blew his cigarette smoke in my face now because he was much larger than me I wasn't really tempted to do anything about it anyway okay so I was very kind in response okay but my point is I instantly felt for the guy and I said you know what this guy looks like someone who's dressed like me probably hurt him in the past very very very much you know how I responded when he did that to me I said I'm sorry I apologized not for anything I did but for someone who was dressed like me did to them or someone who claimed you know just stood up here on a podium did to them and I apologized nice and I remember what I said but I apologized and you know what happened when he when I did that it's almost like he did this and he's expected me to do this and he's gonna do Zee goodness and then when I say sorry he's like okay like it just kind of there goes the situation because you can't really get angry when someone says hey I'm sorry kindness takes away the power anger and irritation and makes you bulletproof second thing that kindness gives you gives you x-ray vision a the kind of x-ray vision we all want an x-ray vision when we were kids right be able to see through stuff see through walls seventh-grade boys want a different kind of x-ray vision okay but that's it we won't talk about we're not talking by that kind of x-ray vision here today I'm talking about the x-ray vision that doesn't see through walls but sees through hearts and sees through minds have you ever wondered to yourself in that difficult relationship be honest you know you have what is sewn so thinking what could they be thinking why would they do this that what's going on in their head kindness gives you the answer because through kindness you're able to enter the head of the other person now I'll be honest with you the greatest benefit of this 30 day challenge will not be change the recipients will be the change in you because through this 30 day challenge which you will discover by forcing yourself to not think negative and to think positive do not say negative but to say positive you will discover is you will discover a whole different perspective you will truly see things from this from the shoes of the other person whom you are trying to be kind towards you will discover that maybe your boss isn't evil after all maybe your boss doesn't you know drink vampire's blood or blood of little children okay at night and just scheme how he can make your life miserable maybe your boss is just under a severe amount of stress and pressure from his boss you will discover that maybe your mother doesn't think every day how can I insult her and demean her every single day and doesn't come up with creative ways to tell you how negative you are in every single day maybe your mother or mother-in-law or whatever it may be maybe that person just feels a little bit insecure and that's how they respond maybe your children maybe they're not sons of the devil after all maybe they just feel lonely and maybe if they didn't feel as lonely they wouldn't behave that way at a nice quote right here from a philosopher named pillow of Alexandria he said be kind everyone you meet is fighting a great battle I guarantee you I guarantee the person drives you bonkers now your thinking is I can't be kind to this person if you try this 30-day challenge you are kind to that person unconditional kindness you will discover life from their perspective which you will see is they know their weaknesses they know what they're doing wrong but they can't do anything about it it's not that they don't know they're doing wrong see that's what we think so-and-so is rude I need to tell them their route so they know they know they don't need you to be rude back to them and tell them how rude they are what they need to do is be kind to them and show them that you believe they can be different and that gets us to our third superpower kindness melts walls - is like that the Superman where he could use his eyes to shoot that laser beam and melt stuff that's what kindness does he's and when a relationship has gone sour when there's tension in a relationship every interaction becomes a brick in the wall that continues to build higher and higher between you and fill-in-the-blank your boss your spouse your kid your mother your brother whatever it may be every time they criticize that puts up a brick every time you respond this way that's another brick and it just gets higher and higher and higher but kindness melts the wall away kindness I love this verse first Peter chapter 2 verse 21 look at the kindness of Jesus that melted a wall of hate anger murder but for the to this you were called because Christ also suffered for us leaving us an example but you should follow in his steps who committed no sin nor was deceit found in his mouth mean he's 100% innocent you always say you're innocent he really was and is he really did nothing but who when he was reviled he did revile in return when he suffered he did not threaten but he committed himself to him who judges righteously you see here's why I can say kindness is a superpower you know why it's a superpower and it's a real superpower because it's the power of Jesus it's the power that Christ had it's the power that Christ down the cost and he said Father forgive them it's that power and if we can take that power and apply it towards my wife apply it towards my boss apply it towards my neighbor and I can apply that power in the relationship in my life then truly it's a super power not because it's like some hocus pocus magic but it's the power of God in our life and you know where the scripture says that love never fails okay first Corinthians 13 says love never fails love never fails love never fails love is who God is and when we take God and we start applying God in our life I'm gonna take God in this relationship with this person that word I'm just gonna throw god at him and I'm throw God in him and god I'm not in a preaching way but I'm gonna be God to him I'm gonna be kindness to him I don't be kind it never fails it never fails cuz it's the power of God our way of fighting is I for an eye tooth for a tooth our way is tit for a tat insult for an insult revile for revile suffer for threat and that's our way but the way of Christ was the exact opposite was you threatening I'm kind you hurt I'm loving you curse I bless and I'm telling you you harness this power in your life get ready get ready it's God's Way never lose you can fight your way you can fight God's Way I promise you God's Way never my favorite verses Romans chapter 2 verse 4 depending on the translation of the scripture that you use okay the word goodness and kindness are used okay sometimes it's plain sometimes that way I like the new King James Version so I'm gonna use that but I like to work kindness so I'm kind of a hybrid right here but whatever just go with him or do you despise the riches of his kindness forbearance and longsuffering not knowing that the kindness of God leads you to repentance why is it that we're here in church today because we're afraid of God the wrath of God brought us here the anger of God the fear of God the reason that I'm here and the reason that you're here is cuz the kindness of God which looked at me unworthy as I am and didn't judge me I didn't condemn me I didn't threaten me and didn't deal with me as I deserve but stretched out his hand to come here son I believe in you come with me and let's go do some cool stuff and I said talking to me they don't deserve that kind of kindness a uterus or that kind of kindness either but the reason that we're here the kindness of God melts hearts the kindness of God no matter what wall we put up the kindness of God we see him on the cross and say Father forgive them who can stand in front of that kindness and say it's the kindness that melts the walls and I'm telling you if you unleash that kindness in your life in their relationships watch out is it'll do some damage there as well we think that we will change the other person by powering up by asserting myself by or even maybe in a slightly dim way in the passive-aggressive maybe the opposite like pulling away okay and withdrawing and passive-aggressive Inge towards the other person and that'll change them and that'll show them and that's how I'll I'm telling you you can fight that way day and night and some of you think you need me to tell you this this is the experience of your light you've been doing the human play in this game what I'm saying is for 30 days let's play a different game just 30 days let's give it a try and let's see and let's see if we can melt hearts and we can change relationship and I truly truly truly believe that this thing has power and I'll just tell you this okay some people like some people are thinking like okay I'm gonna do this with my spouse if you are like an you and your spouse or struggling this is the best thing that you can do but to those we're not necessarily struggling with their spouse don't just jump to say spouse cuz it's easy don't just jump to that like like take this prayerfully and say maybe there's like a a sibling or a cousin or an uncle or a parents or or or someone who I haven't talked in for so many years and I don't wanna open that like maybe this is it maybe this is it for them your spouse will still be there when you come back I'm not saying don't do it for your spouse I'm just saying don't just lazily do it for your spouse okay because I believe it'll be power especially when we do it all together that's the challenge you have five things you need to do I put it on your handouts also if you're using the app the first one is the most important one you need to decide are you doing the 30 day kindness challenge are you doing it let's go let's go interactive right here raise your hand if we can do the 30 day kindness Channel hey some people just like you just said it you made you you made you made the promise are you doing the 30 day kindness challenge you said yes okay you can do 4 things after that's Acharya the first one the one you're gonna go to STS a church slash kindness you're going to sign up for the email list and support when you do that it's gonna ask you when do you want to start we're gonna start on April 23rd so not next not tomorrow a week from tomorrow and the reason why the 30 day challenge you have all this week to do the other things to really pray and see who that person is then we're gonna start together on Monday morning that we will all receive similar emails together we're gonna go through it step-by-step and it'll go along with what I'll be preaching about on Sunday so start date 4:23 3 identify your kindness target not two not three just 1 choose one person challenge yourself don't just go easy pray about it hoo God do you want me to use or choose number 4 decide how you will record your actions or observations let me give you a idea that she gives in the book which I think would be really really cool one things that she says ok you should have something where you can keep track of like what did you do today like what was your action of kindness what negative thoughts what pot like you record this stuff one of the things that she says come up with a journal or some kind of notebook where every day you're gonna write how you affirm that person and then give it to the person at the end of 30 days I'm not saying necessarily to do it but I'm saying like if you're gonna do it with like a child at the end of the 30 days you give it to that child and let them see because children forget real quick but if they're in writing and let them see what you really think of them the positive would see it could make a big difference figure out how you're gonna do it do it on your phone and do it on a piece of paper I'm analog so I like paper but whatever works for you and then the last one is optional but if you go to that same website sdsa dot Church slash kindness you'll see like one of those fun little kindness assessments okay and you're supposed to do you can do it before and after to see and what you'll see there is you might be a little surprised you're not as kind as you think you are it's just like a fun little three-minute thing we will tell you like you're the mother Teresa of kindness or you were like you know whoever I can't remember was but anyway that's your homework assignment those five things all right you already did number one but last thing last quote and we're done she says the following in her book just remember nothing changes if nothing changes kindness not only has the power to change the other person has the power to change you I believe but the power of God raised Jesus from the dead I believe that the power of God opened the eyes of the blind I believe that the power of God splits the Red Sea and does whatever it wants and I believe kindness is that power of God in our life and when we take this power and we harness it and we apply the power of God in a relationship it can bring dead relationships back to life it can break down walls that have been built up over years over decades it can do truly the impossible and I'm excited for this challenge and I hope you are as well come back next Sunday ready to go and we will begin talking about the first of our of our child of our commitments we'll go from there let's stand together for prayer the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit one God amen Heavenly Father we thank you for your kindness towards us which truly is more than we can ask for more than we can imagine help us Lord to show that same kindness toward someone else during these 30 days Lord put in our hearts who you want us to be the recipients of our kindness let us not take the easy road Lord but let us choose the person that you want and give us like the toughness to be able to do this especially when it gets hard pray this in the name of your son prayers of all your saints dears Lord as we pray thankfully our Father who art in heaven hallowed be thy name I kingdom come Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven give us this day our daily bread forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil one Christ Jesus our Lord - the kingdom the power and the glory forever amen

Channel: STSA Church

Views: 6,610

Rating: 4.884058 out of 5

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Id: 2bEFBOzEPAE

Length: 45min 29sec (2729 seconds)

Published: Sun Apr 15 2018