Sri Lanka Dad Threatens to Stop the Show if Girl Keeps Her Attitude | World's Strictest Parents

[Music] i live how i want to live i party how i'm on a party [Applause] [Music] seventeen-year-old nikki is out of control nicola is a absolute nightmare child she's uncontrollable she doesn't do she's told if i was to tell nicki that she could not go out and could not go partying could not go drinking she'll go yeah whatever and walk out the door she's nuts she's a skittle she's a psycho if she switch you can be an aggie can't control it when she loses it oh my god i'm worried about nikki when she goes out drinking her temper does flare up and she does show a very ugly side yeah nobody can control her when she's angry that's it you i'm getting you ready fighting ladylike but if someone pisses me off i'm having them it doesn't matter what they've done or haven't done i'm going for them all right that's it she's gone nikki look at me look at me she's gone yeah i went to anger management went to anger management got kicked out of anger management for being angry [Music] no i'm not yes you are am i wrong threatened to burn the house down you look me up nikki dropped out of school after being excluded for fighting mom carol has struggled to raise her and sister claire who has learning difficulties you can't keep treating me the way you do you treat me like dirt yeah because you haven't got a backbone no i've got a heart condition i had a heart attack it was only a mild as we can call it mild um heart attack and i do believe that was brought on for all the stress no i never think about what i've done to my mum what stress i've been under just don't think about it i gave up carrying a long time ago i think with nikki she's got this big hard shell around her nobody can break through that hard shell i think she's frightened of getting hurt but i would just love nicki to be that happy young girl that i had [Music] you must be proud i can't stand pale people who go out oh it gets on my nerves her appearance is very important to her and yet she won't listen to any advice if she's getting it wrong the tango orange bit i'm talking about in life i'll just want to happen to come across a footballer and um have a bentley and a range rover i'd love that just go shopping wake up yeah it's 60 grand to go and spend you just go spending when you're going harrods in that and just getting excited now i do think that jerry is trying to live a celebrity lifestyle before earning the right to do so jerry left school with few qualifications she's never had a job and funds her extravagant lifestyle by sponging money from her parents oh ba look how many 20 pound notes you've got in your bullying dad can i have an extra tinner please dad thanks she knows i'm a big softer and she knows that she'll get what she wants because uh i am i'm just a walking wallet as far as he's concerned i suppose unfortunately jeremy lives in a little dream world where money grows on trays and then when you say no she can't understand why i don't know i keep thanking me and i think oh but i want it so so i just go evil mode i think the times of seeing her head spin around on her shoulders and thinking she's the exorcist child i'm the [ __ ] i'm terrible that i am what i am if you don't like it then jog on i think it's important that jerry changes and changes now and i think if if she learns that you have to work hard you know you reap what you sow i think it would make her a better person in a last-ditch attempt to turn their lives around both families are sending their disobedient daughters to live with new parents on the far side of the world i think this experience is going to be very important for jerry because i think she's basically at the last chance to learn she's she really needs to sort herself out you know so this experience is this is it [Music] thank you don't give them too much grief try and behave yourself and just don't embarrass anyone okay see you later i would like nikki to try and sort out her anger so i do need her to change dramatically really and hopefully when she comes back she'll be a better person hello hello i'm jerry what's your name nikki you're all right yeah are you so nervous oh yeah you know you're only allowed to take 20 kilograms the girls are heading 5 000 miles away to sri lanka an island off the coast of india they will be staying with the a buddhist family who've raised their children to be selfless and community-minded i think we are strong parents because our children know what is expected of them discipline is not for the sake of disciplining or to control somebody we have boundaries and lines and they need to know that dad brindley is the chief executive of a multi-million pound finance company and mom mandy works in advertising they are parents to four high achieving children yes strictly and i i think all parents should be strict you need those boundaries if they are not there you can get into bad company you can go the wrong way as long as you do what you're told and do what you're supposed to do then they are okay despite living in a spacious house with three domestic servants the family live a modest life according to simple buddhist principles their children are not allowed mobile phones computer games or pocket money of course it is important not to spoil your children because i think that from their stems all evil because in the end society has to pay for it would see us as very straight but i think we try our best to be good parents and only time we show what whether what we've done is right and wrong right or wrong after a 12-hour flight the british girls have arrived in sri lanka's main city of colombo [Music] yeah this place is just absolutely [ __ ] it's like just i couldn't live here could not live here i haven't seen one merc it's in one golf gtr a fashion what fashion there is no fashion almost a quarter of the population live below the poverty line and more than 3 million people survive on less than 70 pence a day i'm apprehensive because i don't know what i mean for we tense these last few minutes waiting for them just hope they'll be here soon how bad can it [Music] be [Music] [Music] hello father for the next week okay and this is manoj welcome hello i can get you get your name again it's jerry jenny jerry yeah tom and jerry you know [Music] yeah for the next eight days nikki and jerry will live by the same rules and values as the own kids meet our family this is nikki and this is jerry and this 24 years old he's doing a masters in economics tasha is number two she's 22 years old and she's doing a finals in a llb exam external degree from the university of london nice to meet you nice to meet you ayuda this is number three she's doing her a levels next year she's 18 years old 18 years old still in school for your busy bunch well she's 13 plus samakia and the naughty one man okay shall i show you around the house this is the kitchen and this is where we normally have our meals as a family this is actually a spare room so the children have their school things the desks our kids don't have tv okay there is no tv generally for the children extended we are buddhists buddhists we follow buddhism yeah so it's a way it's what we call a way of life so we don't have to cry no you don't have to pray and this is the girl's room one of you can sleep here and one of you can sleep there so that is our home which is your home now okay yeah [Music] not happy i don't know why they can live like this though in this house there's no look for the fans but i thought they meant to have air conditioning the kitchen hill like proper stinks as soon as we walked in yeah because that's that curry in here exactly so if you don't like the smell of it the stainless smell of curry every day it's disgusting and they're so if you had like all their what they their success yeah i haven't got none of that i've got a beautician thing that's it at least we don't know how to pray yeah i'm glad i'm gonna pray no i thought a buddha was one of the things that you rub their belly you know them lucky things i reckon the mother is the hardest one she will knuckle down listen she wears the trays in this you can see it straight away the girls have arrived at the start of the monsoon season and the rains have just hit colombo nikki and jerry please come in before they are fully accepted into the family mandy and brindley want the british girls to know exactly what's expected of them during their stay i've already welcomed you in my heart i have two more daughters and that's exciting for me i just want you all to give a chance to me to be a father for two more daughters and try and live within this home that we are living in we are a buddhist family and we believe we all have a responsibility to make the world a better place we insist on politeness and respect at all times to everyone we will not tolerate smoking in our home but like if we do say to you like our politeness like can we go out five minutes please and it's not on your property then can we smoke my daughter will not smoke no i know i know but we're not doing it in front of your children you know but i'm going to smoke i've told you that i know that but let's let's let's give it a chance we do not buy our children but the presents because we do not believe in materialism and no makeup is permitted no i'm not happy with that it might look unreasonable to you because this is a something new strange something strange what we have here that's done oh and you come into the monsoon the sri lankan monsoon lasts around a month and brings heavy rain and thunderstorms across the island but after listening to the rules the weather is the last thing on nikki's mind no makeup no [ __ ] no tv you're ridiculous by the end of the week i reckon i'll be like [Music] by the end of the week i'm gonna snap it's not just nikki who's unhappy about the rules jerry is also a smoker and both girls are demanding the right to have a cigarette i'm just getting pretty great don't break the fast i have no please buy food we'll be back here in five minutes not even what happened no there's nothing to see it's not something great please give me a chance no no no i love this finished one coming to be my daughter departure feel that we have no strength to to stand up for what we think is right we are in deep trouble so we have to put our foot down before the day is over we have to stop the cigarettes can i come in first you have to give your cigarettes to us no well actually if i pray for him please remind your language nikki yeah you wind me up to me you're my two daughters you know yeah if you use you have to live in this home with these rules choice is yours in this house no child smokes full stop you abide by the rules if then you cannot be my daughter that means this program is over fine can i just go and talk to you please you can speak to nikki but i just suggest that you don't smoke yes my children have to know that we mean what we and just because two kids have come and said they cannot give up and spoken in a language that my children would not speak that we backed out i just want to compromise that's what i want i said i'd rather just be able to at least have a puff a day on a cigarette you know not even because we are throwing away a big opportunity you know if we just want to carry on doing this even if we smoke two cigarettes a day nick i think we should go and talk to him we've come up with like an idea we've like decided that we'll only smoke two cigarettes a day now shall i tell you what i think you hand over your cigarettes to us and we'll give you the two cigarettes for the day okay jerry nicky okay i'm happy thank you jerry you know what i would have done with my daughters if we had a confrontation before giving them a hug oh just give me a hug yes bless well the girls are pleased with the compromise mandy is dismayed by their attitude i'm just shocked at the way they behave i'm appalled actually but the fact that they cannot respect somebody else's opinion and their sense of values is what is absolutely shocking [Music] overnight the monsoon has caused chaos and flooding throughout sri lanka two hundred thousand people have been made homeless and parts of the capital are still under water i thought i was going to get a bit of a 10 at least but you know hopefully it might brighten up and then we can arrange a cheeky beach appointment this kind of rain can last from a week to two weeks but your hairs get flooded of course our house gets flooded because it's nearly flooding now for buddhists doing things for people in need is a way of life and with the monsoon causing devastation mandy wants the girls to help her prepare food parcels for the city's homeless are we making this to give to the people yes oh okay people who have less than us who would now most probably be not knowing where to stay because of the rain because giving is part of our buddhism buddhism has three basic things that we practice giving taking not taking taking is something we don't do i hope the experience the joy and the happiness people get by receiving maybe it'll move them to do something but the only thing nicki's been moved to do is to down tools and go back to bed nikki nikki nikki would you like to come and cook something jelly has already cooked the me vegetables i'm giving you a headache yeah please get up now and come then you won't get a headache come on no you're going to stay here yeah i'm going to say yes i'm sure you are the loser for it the user will be so shocked so i give me her eyes i don't know whether she's really sick but i really don't think so i think she wants a bit of attention nikki just is looking for some attention i i don't have the time to be giving it to her because we need to move on at home jerry does nothing for other people and she doesn't believe in giving to the poor when i say people begging on the street i just assume that they're just druggies in it so i just ignore them like even the ones sitting at wrongful station [Music] sitting there drinking a beer asking for money i think no go away you're a [ __ ] [Music] mandy's brought jerry to a spot downtown where the homeless gather to beg for food [Music] they give him just take a packet and give me no no take it take it [Music] [Music] and i want all these people to stop looking at me with tramps were you upset i felt like there was just these animals just trying i don't know i didn't like it at all maybe he hasn't eaten for four days we don't know but when we give we have to give unconditionally so why don't they go and get jobs because there may be no jobs for them that's why there's unemployment if i can get a job but it is not for us to judge why they don't get ever i know you might not judge but i just think if they cannot be bothered to go out and get a job and so it's better for themselves and i think paul bollocks there's nothing i just think no i just think concerning other people who's trembling i really do but if i can help him a little by giving something that is what i do [Music] family believe in rising early every day brindley wakes his kids with a mug of hot milk but nicki is not a morning person no just to take it away please stop you are engaged trying to talk to me around everything it can work no the language is a problem you're loyally seriously not giving me a serious headache so you know you're screaming at me do you understand don't scream at you yes you do not in my ear about five o'clock in the morning i don't care about what you say i want you to tell me and i don't care what you say you'll better you better care because you're in this house that's how it goes here yeah well i wanna tell you go away now i'm not until you tell me you hurt me oh my god we'd go over tell you i won't use bad language i don't use bad language now can you go away i told you this attitude has stopped no you told me to swear next stop not that attitude oh my god are you lying smack or something can't figure out what you're no sorry nikki [Music] nikki this has to stop and i mean it if she cannot change her attitude she doesn't come back into this house you understand but for someone as aggressive as nikki changing her attitude may not be easy i would actually like to be called control of my anger but sometimes it just i just keep blowing up i know it's more friendly you know i actually give people a chance but i find that very hard like to give people a chance like new people i don't give a chance i would like to be angry all the time because at home i'm quite angry most of the time i'm angry i'm not really that happy after jerry's extreme reaction to the jobless street beggars mandy wants the girls to see what life's like for working sri lankans she's arranged for them to do a day's work at a rural cinema plantation nikki and jerry you're going outdoors and even your shoes i recommend that you wear you know kind of clothes shoes not oh flip can't pay for it uh no you don't you won't be getting paid for it because it's just to sample what work is like back home in britain neither of the girls has ever managed to hold down a full-time job a little paper and when i was younger because everyone does didn't they i've never worked and had one of them things is it a p45 never mind human beings are made to do something they are not made to just sit on a branch and chirp like a bird you know we're given a brain and we are meant to use it so i hope they see a different kind of life and different sense of values maybe the monsoon has created even worse devastation in the countryside i can't be working in that if it's like this i'm not getting out of the car no way no i'm not i don't want my feet getting my bees sri lanka produces 90 of the world's cinnamon and the industry provides a vital income for thousands of the island's poor the girls will be working for aravinda primo who runs a large plantation deep in the rainforest so i will take you to the field and show you how to cut to the field yeah field yeah where a field that is a cinnamon field okay so you i haven't got your shoes on no problem [Music] yeah i can feel it oh my gosh oh in my shoes no i'm standing no okay no way look i'm not getting on my feet in that way no way i'm going back no way are you healthy there's no way on this earth i don't want to do it no i'm going back to the plant so you will have to come jerry you will have to come i think i'll join you in that one terry [Music] i don't wanna wear them i don't wanna wear no no nothing that i just don't wanna walk in the mud i don't wanna be look how much i'm sweating it's getting on my nerves they are temperature actually they don't know how important this work for the people uh who lives here the poor people the mud is important and living [Music] half an hour later the girls finally agree to do some work but only as long as it's inside these people go to the field and cut this level and we meet here and first scrape the outer bark then with a small knife take the outer back 67 how many hours they start at about six six in the morning sometimes go till 11 12 in the night but they are paid i know they're paid so many hours that's there are a lot of people in the world like this so you've got to take off the green stuff yeah [Music] cinnamon is a spice used to add flavor to food and it's produced by stripping and then drying the bark from cinnamon trees i'm never gonna look at a smelly cinnamon stick ever again in the same way okay i'll give it another go ain't easy looks easy but it's not it takes a bit of effort cinnamon workers only earn about 15 pounds a week would you like not to work would she like not to work she likes but then she doesn't she can't live tell her she should get a children go and get a job she says that she feels lazy to be at home if my mum was your age and she was working in one of these places i'm working one knees for my mum i would feel sorry for the old woman she looks knackered like six o'clock in the morning until like 11 12 at night that it's ridiculous and now i wanted to cry she'd like probably break my heart on that i think in myself today i found out i can actually care for someone that i don't know and that's like a lot for me because i don't give no one a chance some reason this trick is like made my soft side come out and i'm not used to it it's like kind of freaking out at the moment bye bye after their argument earlier in the day brindley wants to talk to nikki about her aggressive behavior i'm not scared for myself i'm scared for people people see if you get if you get angry what you will how you will probably smack your face your head by you or something like that i mean you wouldn't be the fast i'll just go for you that's what comes naturally that's what it comes naturally i'll probably stab you an eye from a high heel or something i can't control it you sometimes take a deep breath now i've tried that when ugg management some women had puppets and i smacked over one of the puppies because really that's not going to work for me puppets the anger is not something that just comes naturally it's something she has built as a as a wall to hide behind when you're insecure you tend to use anger as a barrier to protect yourself from what you would what you are scared of or what you fear [Music] the british teens are halfway through their week with the family mandy thinks jerry's attitude to helping others still needs to change she's found us some voluntary work at a local care home our injury for you to go to a place where you will be able to make use of what you do best your makeup skills and your beauty therapy make everyone beautiful and i'm sure you'll feel beautiful and you come and tell me all about it i will but i think the experience will teach her that beauty is but skinny and the true beauty is what these people have which shines out all the time regardless but of course everything depends on one's willingness to learn [Music] the cheshire home in the gumbo offers care to 48 residents with physical and mental disabilities 84 year old gladys werazinge runs the home with a team of volunteers when we really come here and do things you really have the satisfaction and now to know that you are coming here to do all this is also a great thing you know looking forward gladys has arranged for jerry to do makeup sessions for some of the residents hello hello i'm jeremy yeah i'm glad hello hi i'm so happy you're here and very nice people to come and volunteer to do some work here with all our residents so i think we'll be really happy to see you you can always put a smile on their faces [Music] [Music] no but you always ask people for balloons hold on i'll be two seconds i'm going [Music] outside [Music] i can't do that i can't i can't do it no way what what what's the matter i can't do that i can't sit there with people who are not on my wavelength i can't i can't even talk to him that just freaked me right out what is it that freaks her out she just grabbed my hand and pulled his walls up i don't like things that i hate things like that i've never been to a disability home in my life but i don't like it at all at all i swear to god i can't do it i'm not emotionally ready for this i really ain't no i can't seriously i've never ever had an experience like this and to be honest it's making me frightened i don't like it don't get frightened because i mean these are uh that unfortunate people but we must uh try to help them and you can count your blessings say that you are okay like this and she mustn't be afraid of any you know just odd looking i know they're all not looking normal they look but most of them are mentally a little disturbed so they look odd so she must have been a little upset seeing so many at once despite talking to gladys jerry is still refusing to do any makeovers for the residents [Applause] when i walked in there and saw the paperwork and walked back out that's it that's what went through my head i can't believe i just sat next to someone as i really don't wanna be it so can we go i hate it hate it with passion hate's a strong word i just wanna go i wanna go come on can we go [Music] bryndly is so concerned by nikki's anger problems he's taking her to visit the family's buddhist priest the reverend olande ananda i get the impression that she feels that the anger is the best defense or weapon she has and she's taken an element of pride in having it because she's got away with a lot of things or achieve got what she wants with this anger so the way we could help her is to help her to manage [Music] reverend olande could relate to her and maybe reach to her because he is used to relating to troubled children especially from the best he could understand the western mindset with a little bit of guidance i think she can be a great lady if you would like you can help me carry this stuff but after being dropped off by brindley nikki's already getting wound up about the no shoes rule inside the temple take off my shoes to go in there no i i don't like feet he knows full well don't like feet he says bring me somewhere where i'm gonna see loads of feet around so nikki how do you like the place like your i first [Music] it but i can't go inside because what because i don't like feet and i'm not taking off my shoes so let us make what is called a one-time exception [Music] for you [Music] yes you're lovely you are thank you i hope your shoes are clean you can wipe them in your company nikki's anger problems got worse five years ago after her dad's identity was revealed to her by her sister on the day of their grandfather's funeral she didn't even know her dad until she was 13 through my father's funeral it was the first day she met her real dad awkward um horrible place to me because i just lost a loved one yeah got told he was my dad but that's only because my sister told me my mum weren't going to tell me i must have arguments my mum died throughout her childhood nikki's mum kept her dad's identity secret she thought she was acting in nicki's best interests but the deception has driven a wedge between them i think that's why she blames me she blames me all the time so i think that's where that's coming from i know you can't turn back the years and try and undo what went wrong but i would love nikki to go back to the way she used to be the loving happy child she was and i wanted to love me again like she did before in all directions my anger is really bad but when it comes up that's it i can't control him all right you get angry yes very angry really i'd say about eighty times eighty percent of the day i'm hungry twenty eighty percent of the time you're angry yeah yeah it's really hard to try that yeah it scares me sometimes all right so do you have any idea where the anger comes from i got let down by someone in the past and they ruined my trust completely all right that was a very very bad experience yeah but i still got a lot of height in me because of it it would be a pity in a way if this is going to spoil uh a lot of your life actually you know i still think about it [Music] meditation is at the core of the buddhist way of life and after helping to serve lunch to the monks nikki's agreed to see if it might help control her anger so what we do is just feel at home at sitting here now and we close the eyes gently relax let us then develop the good quality of universal loving kindness by wishing from your heart may i be free from anger and fear peaceful [Music] and happy [Music] and while relaxing body and mind can slowly slowly open your eyes [Music] i've never thought of using meditation before to be honest i've always thought it's a waste of time just sitting on a pillow closing your eyes but obviously it's not i've learned a lot about myself today i learned that i can control my anger i'd be a much happier person if i wasn't so angry all the time i'm actually quite jolly today keep smiling it's not like me she's quite happy i think back at the house a letter's arrived from nikki's mom is the letter for you thank you dear nicky i know you are unhappy being so angry all the time i know it's a way of pushing people away and keeping a distance so that you are never hurt or let down but you are never going to be happy until you find the strength to drop your guides and allow people to get close again your anger is tearing me apart it makes me so sad i'm sorry if i haven't always been there for you i'm sorry for the mistakes i have made love you forever and see you sunday i can't wait love mom loads of kisses and it shows me you never too [ __ ] she's hard didn't she's right though i do hide and i do push everyone away because i've been hurt in the past i don't be honest i want to be happy i just want to cuddle her and say sorry and i changed or i tried to change the british teens are nearing the end of their stay in sri lanka mandy wants to know why jerry ran out of the care home i think i found it so difficult because i'm not used to seeing disability people i think the bigger thing is that you come out of it and realize look it is the who you are that matters not what you own not what you have not what you look but what you are so i don't know what come over me i just thought i have to get out of this place i would like you to think that you're fortunate that you should have realized there are people who are far less fortunate who have nothing who have nobody they're just they're waiting for somebody's charity yes i think that's what i'd like you to take home with you after talking to mandy jerry's decided to go through with the makeovers and nikki and the family's 13 year old daughter samachia have agreed to go with her i want jay to come back again for her to give another chance to see what they're like you're not supposed to judge people like the way they look but it's what matters is inside jerry is very nervous but i think she's not used to it and that's why she gets a bit scared [Music] just try one [Music] shot to our brand yeah jerry's gonna do your other hand all right come on right shaking there you go you like him yeah good [Music] yeah i really enjoy doing beauty in there i think he's brilliant i feel more relaxed than i did when i first scored when i first come here [Music] you want this hand this color that one this color [Music] see all their faces like smiling i know they were so grateful i don't suppose they get many people just coming in and doing things like that i can't get over just how lucky i am my sister she's uh 14 she's got a brain of age of like for a five-year-old that she's probably like well behind wow and her time so she's got hyperactive she has special needs for special needs school at home i'm so selfish and i'm just so lazy and i just don't think of others but being here today is just like there are people out there that are so like worse off and i just think why am i like that and today when i gave something back it just felt good it's a little courage to come back and do something that you so scared of last time this little girl wants a balloon so much i just want to give her one there you go have you got a balloon thank you no it did i got two for you i think what i've learned is everyone's the same no matter how they look we all have feelings and we're all human so i suppose i was a bit nasty to treat like to just walk out the way i did but i think they've forgiven me [Music] back home the girls are enjoying their last night with the family [Music] thank you thank you it's okay thank you you're welcome and it also can remind you of us yes i'd say we had two troubled teenagers and tried putting them straight very sweet [Music] there you go thank you so much the british girls time in sri lanka has come to an end i hope you take some good memories and always know there's someone who's far more soft than me oh you're so lovely i think mandy and benley are good because they just show you another life so make sure you appreciate what you've got at home and i can go home now and i'd be a little bit calmer a little bit relaxed and not so stressed all the time i think mandy and brinley are absolutely lovely the way they give so much is like absolutely amazing they've taught me it is more suicide that counts at the end of the day [Music] i'd like to think that she might have learnt from this experience a little bit of appreciation maybe a little bit more respect i love him this just really hit me i think more than it i was expecting anything to being with people that are just so less fortunate and sort of made me think wow like because i didn't realize actually how selfish i was because i felt so selfish when i just run out of that when i run out of the home it's just when i was out in sri lanka i just thought i just want my mom but i think i value my family so much now well i'm glad you've realised that anyway because i am here yeah kill them you know you want it if she's not going to be selfish anymore that would be fantastic to hear those words really if that's how she feels then let's keep her fingers crossed i really am looking forward to seeing it but i'm so nervous it's like meeting her for the first time after about 10 years i've really missed her and i'm not quite sure what to expect [Music] i'm [Music] meditation helps you if you're angry yeah perhaps you should do that more often and i've been a complete [ __ ] over the years and i'm sorry i just want to say sorry to you nikki i should have been there for you i am your mother at the end of the day just happy right now to be home this is a new start for me and nikki from when she walked through the door you could just see the relaxed nikki the nikki that i used to know and you sort of you could see that in her face which was lovely i think with nikki with the attitude she's got at the moment i think it's all positive [Music] you

Channel: World's Strictest Parents

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Id: C9jsXmojXDs

Length: 54min 13sec (3253 seconds)

Published: Sat Aug 22 2020