( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
( PIANO RIFF ) >> JAMES: LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT
THE FOOD WE HAVE -- JELLYFISH, VIENNA SAUSAGE JUICE
SHOOTER, WE HAVE OUR TRUSTY FRIEND THE BULL'S PENIS, WE HAVE
A BUG TRIFLE -- NOW, THIS BUG TRIFLE INCLUDES CRICKETS, WORMS
AND TOPPED WITH A SCORPION. WE'VE GOT BIRDÑi SALIVA. A JUNE BUG JELL-O. THREE-CHILI PEPPER SMOOTHIE, AND
FINELY TURKEY TESTICLES. HOW YOU FEELING ABOUT THIS,
ARNOLD, YOU FEELING OKAY? >> I'M NOT GOING TO EAT AGAIN
FOR THE NEXT WEEK. >> James: OKAY. SO, ARNOLD, NEITHER OF US HAVE
SEEN THE QUESTIONS. YOU'RE GOING TO ASK ME A
QUESTION FIRST. SO WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO EAT
IF I DON'T ANSWER? >> HOW ABOUT THE BIRD SALIVA? >> James: YOU'RE GOING TO GIVE
ME THE BIRD SALIVA? >> EXACTLY. OH, JEEZ, OKAY. IF YOU HAVE THE ABILITY TO
ANSEL ONE OF THE LATE-NIGHT TALK SHOWS, WHICH WOULD IT BE? ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
COME ON. YOU CAN DO IT. >> James: I'D LIKE TO CANCEL
ALL OF THEM, BUT -- >> THAT'S NOT A GOOD ANSWER. >> James: THAT WOULD BE GREAT
FOR US. IF I COULD CANCEL ANY OTHER LATE
NIGHT TALK SHOW, WHICH ONE WOULD I CANSLE? >> COME CLEAN. YOU CAN DO IT. LOOK ME IN THE EYES. DON'T LOOK AT THE FOOD. BECAUSE YOU'RE GOING TO ANSWER
IT. COME ON, NOW. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )Ñi
DO IT.!3#Eî ( LAUGHTER )
>>Ñi James: OH, MY GOD! I'M NOT ENTIRELY SURE WHAT'S
HAPPENING HERE. >> I'M NOT SCREWING AROUND. >> James: I WOULD NEVER EVER
EVER IN A MILLION YEARS -- I WOULD NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS
SAY ANYTHING NEGATIVE ABOUT ANY OF THE WONDERFUL MEN AND WOMEN
ON LATE NIGHT, SO CHEERS, ARNOLD. ( LAUGHTER )
( BLEEP ). ( LAUGHTER )
IT'S GOT, LIKE, BITS IN IT. ( AUDIENCE REACTS )
>> James: FINISH IT. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
ALL RIGHT. ARNOLD, I AM GOING TO GIVE YOU
THE THREE CHILLY PEPPER SMOOTHIE. OKAY? RIGHT THERE. AND HERE'S YOUR QUESTION. ARNOLD, IN THE PUBLIC'S EYE,
POLITICIANS HAVE A REPUTATION FOR LYING. WHILE YOU WERE GOVERNOR, WHAT IS
SOMETHING YOU SAID OR DID THAT YOU KNEW WAS A LIE? ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> James: COME ON! ANSWER IT! ANSWER THE QUESTION! DON'T LOOK AT IT. LOOK ME IN THE EYE, YOU CAN DO
IT! ( LAUGHTER )
IT'S NOT AS EASY, IS IT, WHEN YOU'RE OVER THERE? >> James: OKAY. UM -- OKAY. ( LAUGHTER )
I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN SAY THAT. LET ME GIVE YOU THE SHOT. UM -- THERE'S A TIME WHEN THE
GOVERNOR SIGNS BILLS OR VETOES THEM. SO WHEN YOU=)■ VETO A BILL FROM
LEGISLATORS, THEN YOU WRITE A VETO MESSAGE. WELL, THERE WAS ONE LEGISLATOR
THAT I DIDN'T LIKE AT ALL, AND, SO, I VETOED HIS BILL, BUT I
ONLY WANT TO MAKE SURE THAT HE GETS THE MESSAGE, SO I WROTE
EACH LINE IN THE VETO MESSAGE, EACH LINE HAD TO START WITH A
CERTAIN LETTER THAT, WHEN YOU GO DOWN THE LINE, IT SAYS ( BLEEP
YOU. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
AND AT THE PRESS CONFERENCE THE NEXT DAY, WHEN THEY DISCOVERED
THAT, THE PRESS, THEY SAID TO ME, SAYS, DID YOU KNOW THAT THIS
SAID ( BLEEP ) YOU? AND I SAID, NO, NO, WAIT A
MINUTE -- ( LAUGHTER )
WHERE DOES IT SAY THAT? ( LAUGHTER )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) WOW, I'M AMAZED. I KNOW -- NO, I DID NOT KNOW
THAT. >> James: OH, I LOVE THAT! THAT IS AN UNBELIEVABLE ANSWER. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
WOW! OKAY, ARNOLD, SPIN THIS ROUND,
TELL ME WHAT YOU WOULD LIKE ME TO EAT OR NOT EAT. >> OH, BULL'S PENIS. >> James: YEAH? YES. >> James: YOU'RE GOING TO SEND
THAT AROUND, THE BULL'S PENIS TO ME. >> IT'S ALL CHOPPED UP ANYWAY,
YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THE WHOLE THING. SO, ALL RIGHT. HERE WE GO. >> James: ALL RIGHT, GO FOR
IT. >> OKAY. YOU RECENTLY ATTENDED A WEDDING
THAT WAS ALSO ATTEND BID IVANKA TRUMP. WHAT DID YOU TALK ABOUT? ( LAUGHTER )
HUH? WHAT DID YOU --
>> James: THIS IS BULL ( BLEEP ) BECAUSE I KNOW YOU
WRITE THE QUESTIONS. >> WHAT DID YOU TALK ABOUT? >> James: RIGHT. I --
>> WELL, FORGET THIS ENGLISH STUFF. FORGET ALL THAT. THAT'S ENGLISH CHARM. IT DOESN'T HELP YOU HERE. THIS IS A STRAIGHTFORWARD GAME. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> James: ALL RIGHT, I WILL SAY THIS, I WAS A LITTLE DRUNK. >> I EXPECT NOTHING LESS. >> James: AND I WAS WITH
ORLANDO BLOOM. >> OKAY. >> James: WHO I THINK WAS
EQUALLY, IF NOT SLIGHTLYLESS DRUNK THAN I WAS. >> OKAY. >> James: AND WE STOOD AT THE
BAR. >> AND WHAT DID YOU SAY? >> James: AND IVANKA WAS AT
THE BAR, AND I CAN'T -- I CAN'T 100% REMEMBER IT, BUT I REMEMBER
THAT WE WERE QUITE DRUNK, AND WE STARTED GOING, IVANKA, YOU CAN
DO SOMETHING, YOU CAN DO SOMETHING. YOU CAN DO SOMETHING. YOU CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE. YOU CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE. YOU CAN MAKE IT BETTER. AND EIVANKA -- I REMEMBER IVANKA
WAS GOING, I'M TRYING, I'M TRYING. ( LAUGHTER )
THEN THE NIGHT CARRIED ON, I KEPT DRINKING, AND THEN THE NEXT
DAY, IT WAS LIKE A TWO-DAY WEDDING, AND THE NEXT DAY THERE
WAS A DRINKS THING IN THE AFTERNOON AND I FORGOT ALL ABOUT
IT UNTIL I SAW HER ACROSS THIS SORT OF GARDEN AND IT ALL CAME
BACK. ( LAUGHTER )
AND SHE JUST SAID, UM, I BET YOU'VE GOT A HEADACHE THIS
MORNING. ( LAUGHTER )
SO THAT WAS WHAT I TOLD IVANKA TRUMP. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> James: NICE. OKAY, I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU,
ARNOLD, I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU -- I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU THE
JELLYFISH. OKAY? >> James: OKAY. ARNOLD, IN THE '90s, YOU
AND A GROUP OF OTHER A-LIST CELEBRITIES OPENED THE PLANET
HOLLYWOOD THEMED RESTAURANTS. BE HONEST, IF YOU WEREN'T AN
INVESTOR, WOULD YOU HAVE EVER EATEN AT PLANET HOLLYWOOD? ( LAUGHTER )
>> WHAT'S SO FUNNY ABOUT THAT? I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT. ( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE ) ( CHEERING )
ARE YOU LAUGHING AT ME? ARE YOU LAUGHING AT ME? ( LAUGHTER )
THE BOTTOM LINE IS THAT I REMEMBER STILL GOING BACK AFTER
I SOLD MY ENTIRE SHARES, EVERYTHING, I STILL WENT BACK,
BUT I DIDN'T GO BACK FOR THE FOOD, BUT I WENT BACK BECAUSE OF
THE OTHER CELEBRITIES BEING THERE AND BECAUSE OF THE GREAT
MERCHANDISE AND DUFF THEY HAD THERE. SO, YES, I DID GO BACK. >> James: THAT WASN'T THE
QUESTION. ( LAUGHTER )
THE QUESTION WAS WOULD YOU, IF YOU WEREN'T AN INVESTOR, WOULD
YOU STILL EAT AT PLANET HOLLYWOOD? >> I ATE SOME CHICKEN FINGERS,
YES. >> James: OH, THERE WE GO, ALL
RIGHT! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
OKAY. ARNOLD, YOUR TURN. CHOOSE WHAT YOU WOULD LIKE ME
TO -- WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO EAT HERE? >> OKAY, O'-- BUG TRIFLE. >> James: OKAY, THIS IS
CRICKETS, WORMS AND A SCORPION. >> THAT IS REALLY WILD BECAUSE I
WANTED TO ASK THE QUESTION MYSELF, BECAUSE YOU JUST RENEWED
YOUR CONTRACT WITH CBS -- >> James: OH, ( BLEEP ). -- FOR ANOTHER THREE YEARS,
RIGHT? ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> James: YEP, I DID. READ ME THE QUESTION. >> HOW MUCH MONEY WAS INVOLVED
IN THIS CONTRACT? ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
( DRUM ROLL ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
( DRUM ROLL ) ( CHEERING )
( LAUGHTER ) ( CHEERING )
( LAUGHTER ) >> James: OH, MY GOD -- NOT
ENOUGH MONEY TO ( BLEEP ) PAY TO PLAY THIS. >> THAT WAS VERY COURAGEOUS. >> James: OH! I HAVE TO SAY THAT BECAUSE
THAT LOOKS UGLY OVER THERE. >> James: OKAY. YOU JUST ATE A SCORPION. >> James: I'M WELL AWARE OF
WHAT I JUST ATE. THANK YOU, ARNOLD. ALL RIGHT, ARNOLD, HERE WE GO. I AM GOING TO GIVE YOU -- I'M
GOING TO GIVE YOU THE TURKEY TESTICLES RIGHTÑi THERE, TURKEY
BALLS. HERE WE GO. ARNOLD. YOU AND DONALD TRUMP HAVE A LONG
HISTORY TOGETHER. RECENTLY, YOU'VE HAD A VERY
PUBLIC FEUD, BUT YOU'VE ALSO KNOWN EACH OTHER SINCE THE
'80s. WHAT IS THE WORST THING YOU'VE
HEARD DONALD TRUMP SAY IN PRIVATE? ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> James: WELL, ACTUALLY, IN PRIVATE, HE ALWAYS WAS VERY
NICE. AS A MATTER OF FACT, THE LAST
CONVERSATION I HAD WITH HIM, A PRIVATE CONVERSATION, WAS WHEN
HE CALLED ME AND ASKED ME FOR MY ENDORSEMENT WHEN HE RAN FOR
PRESIDENT, AND I DECLINED. AND, SINCE THEN, EVERYTHING THAT
HE SAYS ABOUT ME OR TO ME IS ON TWITTER. ( LAUGHTER )
WHICH SUCKS. >> James: YEAH. YEAH. SO I THINK HE WAS ALWAYS KIND OF
NICE IN PRIVATE, BUT IN PUBLIC, I THINK THAT HE'S VERY MEAN
SPIRITED WHAT HE SAYS. >> James: I MEAN, THIS IS THE
FIRST TIME IN THE HISTORY OF "SPILL YOUR GUTS"Ñi THAT NOBODY'
EATEN HERE. I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU HAVEN'T
EATEN ANYTHING. >> I HAVE TO BE HONEST. THESE WERE NOT REALLY TOUGH
QUESTIONS. I MEAN, REALLY, I MEAN, I
THOUGHT -- ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
I THOUGHT THEY WOULD BE SOME KIND OF A -- NO, REALLY,
HONESTLY, I THOUGHT THERE WOULD BE SOME TOUGH QUESTIONS THAT I'M
REALLY GOING TO GO, LIKE, GUH -- >> James: LET'S TRY THIS ONE,
SHALL WE? >> YEAH. >> James: OKAY. ARNOLD. YOU'RE ONE TO HAVE THE
BIGGEST -- YOU'RE ONE OF THE BIGGEST ACTION STARS OF ALL
TIMES AND YOU STARRED IN THE EXPENDABLES. RANK THE CO-STARS ON THEIR
ACTING ABILITY FROM BEST TO WORST. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
COME ON, YOU CAN DO IT! SYLVESTER STALLONE, JASON
STATHAM, MICKEY ROURKE, BEST TO WORST. >> I WOULD HAVE TO START WITH --
( LAUGHTER ) ( LAUGHTER )
( CHEERING ) I -- I START WITH -- UM -- NO
( BLEEP ). ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> James: ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER, EVERYBODY! THAT WAS "SPILL YOUR GUTS OR
FILL YOUR GUTS." WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
( BAND PLAYING )
