DAY, YOU KNOW, WE MAY, IN THE YEARS TO FOLLOW, WE MAY LACK BACK ON THIS DAY AS ONE OF THE MOST INTERESTING AND IMPORTANT DAYS IN THE MODERN POLITICAL HISTORY OF OUR COUNTRY. I'VE BEEN SAYING THIS ALMOST EVERY DAY FOR THE PAST THREE YEARS. BUT TODAY REALLY WAS SOMETHING, I MEAN IT'S JUST, A UKRAINE STORM HIT WASHINGTON IN A BIGLY WAY. WE HAVE MOVED PAST WATERGATE INTO FLOODGATE. THIS WAS AN INCREDIBLE DAY. WE HEARD LIVE TESTIMONY TODAY FROM THE KEY MAN IN THE MIDDLE OF ALL THIS. TRUMP'S AMBASSADOR TO THE EU, GORDON SONDLAND. THIS IS NOT A NEVER TRUMPER. THIS IS NOT A CIVIL SERVANT. THIS IS NOT A DEMOCRAT. THIS IS ONE OF TRUMP'S WEALTHIEST DONORS, A WEALTHY HOTEL MAGNATE, WHO WAS GIVEN THE POSITION AFTER HE DONATED A MILLION DOLLARS TO TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN FUND. HE WAS THE QUID PRO QUO IN THE QUO. SO TODAY SONDLAND TOOK THE STAND AND SAID THIS. >> I KNOW THAT MEMBERS OF THIS COMMITTEE FREQUENTLY FRAME THESE COMPLICATED ISSUES IN THE FORM OF A SIMPLE QUESTION. WAS THERE A QUID PRO QUO? AS I TESTIFIED PREVIOUSLY, WITH REGARD TO THE REQUESTED WHITE HOUSE CALL AND THE WHITE HOUSE MEETING, THE ANSWER IS YES. >> Jimmy: AND JUST LIKE THAT, DONALD TRUMP'S DEFENSE DISAPPEARED FASTER THAN HE DOWNS A BUCKET OF KFC. IT WAS -- [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] I MEAN, IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE. IT'S, THIS DOESN'T MAKE SENSE. HE TWEETED SO MANY TIMES, THERE WAS NO QUID PRO QUO. LOOK AT ALL THESE TWEETS! THEY'RE ALL RIGHT THERE! AND NOT ONLY, DID HE TWEET IT, HE SAID IT, TOO. >> THERE WAS NO QUID PRO QUO. >> NO QUID PRO QUO. >> NO QUID PRO QUO. >> NO QUID PRO QUO. >> NO QUID PRO QUO. >> NO QUID PRO QUO. >> NO QUID PRO QUO. >> NO QUID PRO QUO. >> NO QUID PRO QUO. >> NO QUID PRO QUO. >> NO QUID PRO QUO. NO QUID PRO QUO. >> NO QUID PRO QUO. >> NO QUID PRO QUO. >> Jimmy: I'M IMPRESSED THAT HE CAN SAY IT. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] I WILL SAY THAT. DOESN'T IT SOUND LIKE HE'S YELLING THROUGH A BROKEN BURGER KING DRIVE THROUGH WINDOW. IT WOULD APPEAR OUR PRESIDENT HAS BEEN CAUGHT ORANGE-HANDED. AND I DON'T THINK -- I TELL YOU SOMETHING. I DON'T THINK GORDON SOPD LNDLA GETTING HIS MILLION DOLLARS BACK. I REALLY DON'T. IT'S POETIC WATCHING DONALD TRUMP GET TAKEN DOWN BY A BALD MAN. HE SAID I PRESSED UKRAINE FOR AN INVESTIGATION AT THE EXPRESS DIRECTION OF THE PRESIDENT. SONDLAND SCREWED THE PRESIDENT SO THOROUGHLY TODAY. TRUMP RENEFLECTIONIVELY PAID HI TO SHUT UP. SOMEBODY'S GOING TO PAY FOR THIS AND IT MAY BE AMERICA'S MAYOR. >> MR. GIULIANI CONVEYED THAT PRESIDENT TRUMP WANTED A PUBLIC STATEMENT FROM PRESIDENT ZELINSKY, COMMITTING TO INVESTIGATIONS OF BURISMA AND THE 2016 ELECTION. MR. GIULIANI EXPRESSED THOSE REQUESTS DIRECTLY TO THE UKRAINIANS, AND MR. GIULIANI ALSO EXPRESSED THOSE REQUESTS DIRECTLY TO US. WE ALL UNDERSTOOD THAT THESE PREREQUISITES FOR THE WHITE HOUSE CALL AND THE WHITE HOUSE MEETING REFLECTED PRESIDENT TRUMP'S DESIRES AND REQUIREMENTS. >> Jimmy: THAT'S BIG. THAT COULD BE THE NAIL IN GIULIANI'S COFFIN, WHICH IS ESPECIALLY PROBLEMATIC, BECAUSE THAT'S WHERE HE SLEEPS. AND SONDLAND SAID HE AND OTHERS DID NOT WANT TO WORK WITH GIULIANI, BUT THEY HAD TO PLAY THE HAND THEY WERE DEALT BY THE PRESIDENT, AND THIS IS MAYBE THE PRESIDENT TRUMPIEST PART OF THE WHOLE DEAL. SONDLAND TESTIFIED THE PRESIDENT WANTED UKRAINIAN, THE UKRAINIANS TO ANNOUNCE AN INVESTIGATION INTO THE BIDENS, BUT THEY DIDN'T ACTUALLY TO DO THE INVESTIGATION, KIND OF LIKE IF YOU ANNOUNCE YOU'RE GOING TO BUILD A WALL, AND, YOU KNOW? SONDLAND SAID TRUMP DIDN'T SEEM TO CARE IF THE INVESTIGATIONS ACTUALLY TOOK PLACE. WHICH IS HOW YOU, WHICH IS HOW YOU KNOW HE REALLY CARES ABOUT CORRUPTION IN THE UKRAINE, BUT HE JUST WANTED PEOPLE TO KNOW THAT THESE GUYS WERE LOOKING AT JOE BIDEN. LIKE SIGNING UP FOR A MARATHON. YOU JUST WANT TO POST ABOUT IT ON INSTAGRAM. GIULIANI WASN'T THE ONLY ONE IN THE LOOP. GUESS WHO ELSE WAS IN THE LOOP, TOO. >> EVERYONE WAS IN THE LOOP. >> Jimmy: EVERYONE. EVERYONE WAS IN THE LOOP. THE PRESIDENT. THE VICE PRESIDENT. SECRETARY OF STATE, CHIEF OF STAFF. RICK PERRY, JOHN BOLTON, QUITE A LIST. AND TODAY THEY ALL WENT UNDER THE BUS. THERE WASN'T EVEN ROOM FOR ALL OF THEM. THEY HAD TO GO UNDER IN SHIFTS. POOR MIKE PENCE. THE ONE TIME THEY LET MIKE PENCE IN THE LOOP, IT'S A FEDERAL CRIME. THIS KIND OF TELLS YOU ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT HOW THINGS WENT TODAY. LOOK AT THESE HEADLINES. VICE PRESIDENT PENCE LEFT D.C. AREA MINUTES AFTER SONDLAND STARTED TESTIFYING. MIKE POMPEO SEEKING FOR A SAFE EXIT FROM STATE AFTER SENATE RUN. IF THEY ARE CURRENTLY IN THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION, IT WAS A DAMNING DAY. WHERE DOES THEIR LEIS LEAVE THE RANKING REPUBLICAN IN THE HOUSE? DEVIN NUNES HAD TO DIG EXTRA DEEP. IN FACT HE HAD TO GO ALL THE WAY BACK TO THE REVOLUTIONARY WAR. >> FINALLY, THE DEMOCRATS' FAKE OUTRAGE THAT PRESIDENT TRUMP USED HIS OWN CHANNEL TO COMMUNICATE WITH UKRAINE. REMIND MY FRIENDS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE AISLE THAT OUR FIRST PRESIDENT, GEORGE WASHINGTON, DIRECTED HIS OWN DIPLOMATIC CHANNELS TO SECURE A TREATY WITH GREAT BRITAIN. IF MY DEMOCRATIC COLLEAGUES WERE AROUND IN 1794, THEY'D PROBABLY WANT TO IMPEACH HIM, TOO. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: YOU KNOW, I THINK DEVIN NUNES MAY HAVE STUDIED HISTORY AT TRUMP UNIVERSITY. HE'S AN IMBECILE. WATCH HIS FACE WHEN THEY BREAK FOR RECESS AFTER SONDLAND BLEW THE WHOLE PLACE UP. >> THAT CONCLUDES OUR 45 MINUTES. I NOW RECOGNIZE MR. NUNEZ. WHY DON'T WE TAKE A FIVE OR TEN MINUTE BREAK. >> THANK YOU. >> ALL RIGHT, SO THAT WAS EXPLOSIVE TESTIMONY THERE. >> Jimmy: THAT'S THE SAME FACE TRUMP MADE THE DAY DON JR. WAS BORN. IT'S A SAD FACE. IT'S A VERY SAD FACE. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] I HAVE TO SAY, THIS GORDON SONDLAND IS AN INTERESTING CHARACTER. ONE OF THE LIGHTER MOMENTS TODAY WAS WHEN HE WEIGHED IN ON WHAT HE SAID DURING A CALL WITH TRUMP. >> YOU CONFIRMED TO PRESIDENT TRUMP THAT YOU WERE IN UKRAINE AT THE TIME AND THAT PRESIDENT ZELINSKY, QUOTE, LOVES YOUR ASS, UNQUOTE. DO YOU RECALL SAYING THAT? >> YEAH, IT SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING I WOULD SAY. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: THAT'S ABOUT AS GORDIE AS IT GETS. IT WAS A HISTORIC DAY. NOT ONLY WAS THERE A CHAT ABOUT THE PRESIDENT'S BOTTOM. IT SET A RECORD FOR MOST IMPEACHMENT MENTIONS OF THE HIP-HOP STAR. >> A$AP ROCKY. >> A$AP ROCKY. >> A$AP ROCKY. >> A$AP ROCKY. >> A$AP ROCKY. >> Jimmy: MORE ROCKIES THAN SYLVESTER STALLONE. I DON'T THINK WE CAN OVERSTATE HOW UNUSUAL THAT IS. THAT WOULD BE IF THE LARGE PORTION OF WATERGATE HEARINGS REVOLVED AROUND SLY AND THE FAMILY STONE. PRESIDENT TRUMP WAS IN HIS OFFICE EATING CANS OF DIET COKE. HE CHARGED OUT TO THE WHITE HOUSE LAWN TO TRY TO SHOME HOW CLAIM A VICTORY. >> I'M GOING TO HAVE A QUICK COMMENT ON WHAT'S GOING ON IN TERMS OF TESTIMONY WITH AMBASSADOR SONDLAND, AND I JUST NOTICED ONE THING, AND I WOULD SAY THAT MEANS IT'S ALL OVER. >> Jimmy: WELL, I HOPE YOU'RE RIGHT ABOUT THAT. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] FROM YOUR GREASY LIPS TO GOD'S EARS. I'M SURE YOU'RE SURPRISED TO LEARN THAT TRUMP NOW CLAIMS HE DOESN'T REALLY KNOW GORDON SONDLAND. >> I DON'T KNOW HIM VERY WELL. I HAVEN'T SPOKEN TO HIM MUCH. THIS IS NOT A MAN I KNOW WELL, SEEMS LIKE A NICE GUY, THOUGH. BUT I DON'T KNOW HIM WELL. HE WAS WITH OTHER CANDIDATES. HE ACTUALLY SUPPORTED OTHER CANDIDATES, NOT ME. CAME IN LATE. >> Jimmy: WHY DO I GET THE FEELING WHEN THIS PRESIDENCY ENDS TRUMP WILL CLAIM HE'S NEVER HEARD OF DONALD TRUMP. HIS BIG DEFENSE NOW IS THE NEW DEFENSE IS THAT HE TOLD SONDLAND, NO QUID PRO QUO. BUT, OF COURSE, HE SAID THAT AFTER THE WHISTLE-BLOWER BLEW, WHEN HE WAS DESPERATELY TRYING TO COVER HIS TRACKS. >> BUT HERE'S MY RESPONSE. NOW, IF YOU WEREN'T FAKE NEWS, YOU'D COVER IT PROPERLY. I SAID TO THE AMBASSADOR IN RESPONSE, I WANT NOTHING. I WANT NOTHING. I WANT NO QUID PRO QUO. TELL ZELINSKY, PRESIDENT ZELINSKY TO DO THE RIGHT THING. SO HERE'S MY ANSWER. I WANT NOTHING. I WANT NOTHING. I WANT NO QUID PRO QUO. TELL ZELINSKY TO DO THE RIGHT THING. THEN HE SAYS, THIS IS THE FINAL WORD FROM THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES. I WANT NOTHING. THANK YOU, FOLKS, HAVE A GOOD TIME. >> Jimmy: YOU KNOW USUALLY WHEN TRUMP SCREAMS "I WANT NOTHING" IS WHEN THE WHITE HOUSE ORDERS SALAD FOR LUNCH. BUT HE DOESN'T SEEM OKAY. HAS ANYONE CONSIDERED THE POSSIBILITY THAT THAT UNSCHEDULED VISIT HE MADE TO WALTER REED OVER THE WEEKEND WAS TO GET HIS DOCTOR TO IMPLANT A CYANIDE TOOTH? IN THE MEANTIME, AS IF THAT ALL WASN'T ENOUGH POLITICAL THEATER, THERE WAS A DEMOCRATIC DEBATE TONIGHT, THIS IS THE FIRST DEBATE EVER TO BEGIN WITH A ROUND OF TEQUILA SHOTS. WHY ARE THEY EVEN HAVING A DEBATE TODAY? THE WHITE HOUSE IS IMEMPLOYEDING. JUST TAKE A KNEE AND RUN OUT THE CLOCK. THE PREVIOUS DEBATE HAD 12 CANDIDATES ON THE STAGE. TONIGHT IT WAS NARROWED DOWN TO TEN. NEXT TIME IT WILL BE WIDENED BACK UP TO 12. THE DEBATE WAS HELD AT TYLER PERRY'S STUDIOS IN ATLANTA. THAT WAS FROM INTERESTING, BECAUSE IF WERE YOU TO TAKE CORY BOOKER, ELIZABETH WARREN, BERNIE SANDERS AND KAMALA HARRIS AND MASH THEM ALL TOGETHER, YOU WOULD GET MADEA. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] BUT NO ONE CARES ABOUT THE DEBATE TONIGHT. THE BIG STORY OF THE DAY WAS GORDON SONDLAND AND HIS TESTIMONY. HE GAVE SEVERAL HOURS ON THE STAND. THEY COVERED A LOT. BUT I STILL HAVE QUESTIONS. SO WE TRACKED HIM DOWN, AND HE'S JOINING US NOW FROM WASHINGTON, D.C. THANK YOU FOR JOIN BEING US TONIGHT, AMBASSADOR. OH. AMBASSADOR. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] AMBASSADOR, ARE YOU, ARE YOU STILL AT THE HEARING? >> THAT'S CORRECT. >> Jimmy: I THOUGHT IT ENDED HOURS AGO. >> IT DID, BUT I'M AFRAID TO LEAVE. >> Jimmy: WHY ARE YOU AFRAID TO LEAVE? DO YOU THINK THE PRESIDENT IS ANGRY WITH YOU. >> HE'S ANGRIER THAN GRETA THUNBERG IN A HUNDRED AI DEALER. THE GUY'S COMMITTED MORE CRIMES THAN JEFFREY EPSTEIN AT AN AMERICAN GIRL DOLL STORE. THE PRESIDENT'S MORE RED-HANDED THAN ROBERT KRAFT'S MASSEUSE. WHO I KNOW PERSONALLY. HE'S MORE CROOKED THAN MICHAEL JACKSON'S PENIS. ALLEGEDLY. >> Jimmy: I THINK WE GET THE POINT. I THINK WE GET THE POINT HERE. ABOUT THE PRESIDENT. >> THE ONLY THING HE'S OBSTRUCTED MORE THAN JUSTICE ARE HIS OWN ARTERIES. I'VE PERSONALLY SEEN THE PRESIDENT DIP HIS CHEESEBURGERS IN MAYONNAISE. HE MAKES THE SECURITY GUY, GUILLERMO, LOOK LIKE WILBER VALDERRAMA. >> Jimmy: FOR THOSE UNFAMILIAR WITH YOUR HISTORY, HOW DID YOU COME TO BECOME THE AMBASSADOR TO THE EU? >> INTERESTING STORY. HAVE YOU HEARD OF MONEY? >> Jimmy: YEAH, YES. >> I GAVE TRUMP A LOT OF THAT. >> Jimmy: OKAY. >> AND HE MADE MEET AMBASSADOR. THAT'S HOW IT WORKS. IT'S CALLED A QUID PRO QUO, JIMMY, GOOGLE IT. >> Jimmy: I WILL. AND I KNOW YOU HAVE THE TESTIMONY, BUT HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH THE PRESIDENT TODAY? >> HMM. UH, I'D SAY IT'S A$AP ROCKY. >> Jimmy: BECAUSE THE PRESIDENT IS NOW SAYING HE DOESN'T REALLY KNOW YOU. >> SERIOUSLY? ♪ WHO LET THE DOGS OUT ♪ JO >> Jimmy: WHAT IS THAT, YOUR PHONE? >> IT'S PROBABLY GIULIANI BUTT DIALING ME AGAIN. >> Jimmy: WE'LL WAIT IF YOU WANT TO TAKE THE CALL. >> [ BLEEP ] I'M GOING TO RIP OUT YOUR HEART AND COVER IT IN ARBY'S HORSY SAUCE. >> I'LL HAVE TO GET BACK TO YOU. THAT WAS MY WIFE. >> Jimmy: WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU WILL GAE FROM HO FROM HERE? >> I'LL BE DOING WHAT ANY DISGRACED MEMBER OF THE ADMINISTRATION WOULD DO.
