welcome back to PP news I'm here with the world's baldest man so tell me sir how do you do it I'm not bald Jeffy I have hair on the sides of my head false where'd you get a microphone from all righty then and now to the interview with my diaper so tell me diaper how do it feel to be smacked all the time oh yeah it feels good Jeffy knock it off stop it Jeffy shut up I'm going to ask you a question so Jeffy how's it feel to be born missing a chromosone pretty good Marvin he's asking me mean questions I can ask him mean questions hey Jack really hard sometimes because not every time I take a [ __ ] I piss but every time I piss I [ __ ] and the worst part is I don't even pull my pants down Jeffy can I say hi to my mom hi Mom look I'm on the news there's no camera and that's not even plugged in Jeffy go to your room go to your Ro go to your Ro who's at the door hello hey Marvin oh good man I don't have my house payment this month it's not about the house payment I have a big business meeting today and you're coming with wait really yeah let me inside so I can explain what's going on Goodman all right Marvin check this out I am the owner of craft and Vita cheese and I have a big business meeting today with McDonald's I can't say much cuz you never know who's recording but let's just say if this deal goes through there's going to be a lot of cheddar okay hey what the hell are you doing with my news microphone don't you ever steal from me again oh wait why me I didn't take it come on Marvin let's go bankrupt the burger industry what what all right Marvin Ronald McDonald is on his way down here right now so when the moment's right and I need you to hit the button on the remote and turn on the light bulb How will I know when oh you'll know ooh here he is all right boys this better be good because Ronald's a very busy man with a lot of stuff to do and a lot of women to stuff I understand Mr McDonald I have the same exact problem so I'll try to make this quick if you turn your attention to this chart right here this is the last week of April's craft and Vita sales so right here on Sunday morning we were at 30 millions in cheese then Monday morning we were at 40 millions in cheese back down to 30 and by 50 million can you go ahead and get to the point because I'm getting bored I apologize Mr McDonald but I have a question for you do you use your own cheese on your hamburgers yeah all right so imagine this crafting velveted cheese on your hamburgers I can see it now a quarter pounder with craft and Velva cheese or a Big Mac with craft and velveted cheese now that sounds yummy to me now why would I do that my shin is already yummy my fix one ain't broken well because craft and Vita is a household name and everyone loves craft and Vita cheese so I think using crafting velv cheese on your hamburgers would benefit us and boost your profits my [ __ ] already tastes good I know but I have an offer for you $100 million in cash now this isn't all of it but this is a show of good faith for you to use our cheese on your hamburgers now that sounds like a good idea to me Marvin light ball uhoh now how'd you do that cuz we're the Thomas Edison of cheese now Thomas I'm going to be honest with you Ronald doesn't get out of bed for anything less than half a billion dollar half a billion dollars you don't make half a billion dollars in a week you don't even make half a billion dollars in three weeks I don't care I know what I'm worth you're operating on a 31% margin you need archieves yeah yeah yeah I don't need Jack [ __ ] buddy I'm out of here morvin help uh I guess we're going to do the deal with Wendy's what yeah Morphin what uh Wendy said that they'll do the deal for $50 million they did yeah you remember oh oh yeah yeah Wendy's mhm you're telling me that Wendy's wants this yes Wendy's they tried the cheese on their burgers and they said it tasted really yummy and we did we did a a crowd source of people and they all said it was really yummy they said it was better than McDonald's okay I think I'm having a change of heart boys how about you give me a day to think it over no no no you don't have a day because Wendy's is calling me right now my phone's vibrating I feel it on my leg no no hold on hold on hold give me 10 minutes I just I got to go make a call you may better make a quick cuz we might accept the deal with Wendy's while you're gone Marvin you're a genius I should start paying you but but I'm lying hey hey Wendy it's me rold I was wondering if maybe you wanted to come over to my place for dinner like like a hey why do I want to take you on a date because I I lik you and [ __ ] I don't know uh where I don't know I was thinking maybe my place right now yeah like I'll see you in 5 minutes all right yeah stupid [ __ ] try making a $50 million deal with you're dead oh Ronald I'm just so surprised you invited me out on this here day yeah me too oh well what are we having for dinner Big Max and I made this one specially for you oh what you don't like Pig Max huh do you want to die what I'm sorry I'm working on myself childood drama that's why we made the Happy Meal so let's let's eat our Burgers look yummy yeah [ __ ] damn it what's wrong yes oh will you pick up my Big Mac for me why' you throw it on the ground it SLI okay damn you're acting like no one's ever had slippery fingers before well this is just a mess I can't reach all of it you know what I don't even want it anymore I'll just share yours but before we do that let's let's make a toast okay to us it would really suck if one of us just you know wasn't alive like if you died that would really suck especially if you died after drinking this yeah that would not be good to us us oh my God I'm so sorry you got to be [ __ ] me I'm sorry I didn't mean to you know what it's okay let me go get some napkins okay thank you before I do that let me get you play oh thanks Ronald that's just so we of [Applause] you yeah [Music] yeah all right I'm back boys I just talked to my manager and he wants me to ask what did Wendy say she was willing to accept again $50 million and uh when's the last time you talk to her right right before you got back I just got off the phone with her and she's ready to accept you might want to call her again and then double check on that oh no no I don't want to call her again cuz I told her the next time I'd call her it would be to tell her that we were going to take the deal but but we wanted to give you one more chance oh yeah well that's okay even if you tried to call her she wouldn't be able to answer anyway cuz she's dead what she's dead yeah wait I killed her ass what you killed her yeah she's been snap the little twig neck shit's hilarious so boy I was thinking we start the bitting at half a billion dollar any other good ideas [ __ ] yeah Shin head any other good ideas look at me I'm a shin head good idea bad idea good idea bad [Laughter] idea [ __ ] uh well if you don't accept our our deal that we'll we'll tell the cops that you killed Wendy yeah and who who's going to believe you huh well well we were thinking that uh we have a secret recording of you admitting it damn okay it looks like you guys got a deal how about we celebrate over dinner we're not hungry because we sell cheese we're constipated [ __ ] yeah yeah and we think since since uh you took too long and now that we have blackmail on you you should accept 50 million instead of 100 million Marvin where did you grow balls like that okay how about this make the contract and I'll come over later to sign it all right come to Marvin's house okay you got it big boy I just got us a deal for $50 million all right Marvin we got to write up that contract Marvin how did your business meeting go it went great I saved Goodman $50 million on a deal good for you Marvin and if this deal goes through Marvin will get $5 million only5 million I saved you 50 you be happy Marvin $5 million is a lot of money money I mean yeah we're still going to be rich well I wouldn't be celebrating yet cuz I still need Ronald mcfuckhead signature down here the deal is not done until I get him to sign it Marvin did you see on the news that Wendy from Wendy's died yeah Marvin got her killed what Marvin how could you I didn't get her killed I just said a lie that maybe got her killed Marvin you lied okay I had to lie to get his deal done everybody hush it's quiet time quiet time why I always have quiet time before a deal if brings good luck so hush how on with me hush if the deal doesn't go through it's because you talked but how long D to S the contract he's here quiet time over all right boys where's the contract right here all you got to do is sign on that line and the deal will be done oh yeah where oh right here yep oh look you already sign you [ __ ] for your convenience so which one of you wants to die first well you can go ahead and shoot Marvin but you can't kill me yet until the deal's been done I don't think he wants to make a deal Bingo looks like someone's finally starting to catch on wait you don't want the deal anymore no you're trying to Blackmail me over $50 million well okay how much do you want you don't have to kill anyone I want half a billion dollars or else I shoot or right do it okay anyway Last Words [ __ ] her I'm back inator gay what I thought I thought Ronald McDonald snapped your neck oh my neck game strong Jesus Christ hey Wendy do you want a craft and Vita deal worth $50 million where we put cheese on your hamburgers that sounds great to me wonderful let's go out to my car and make some white out for this contract and then we'll talk about the contract actually I'll be doing the talking you'll be going all right wait wait wait wait wait wait so I don't get any money Marvin look at me I'm sitting crisscross applesauce in my tuxedo you're not getting [ __ ] [Music] what oh man guys I can't wait to eat our Quarter Pounders with cheese yeah I love how every Wednesday we get together and eat Quarter Pounders with cheese oh dude it looks so delicious I can't wait to eat it yeah especially cuz we don't have fries or a drink or anything just a qu Pounder with cheese why do you think they call it a qu Pounder with cheese cuz it weighs a quar of a pound no way the cheese weighs a quar of a pound well it's not a quarter pound of cheese it's a quarter pounder with cheese so what weighs a quarter of a pound the meat no way the meat weighs a quar of a pound you're talking about with no bun no pickles no cheese the meat itself weighs a quar of a pound yeah it does it's not that heavy it's too light it's too light a quarter of a pound is not heavy well a pound is a bowling ball no bowling balls weigh like 10 lb pound so you're telling me if I get four of these cheeseburgers I'll have a bowling ball no you won't have a bowling ball that would still just weigh a pound a bowling ball weighs 10 lb so you would need 40 Burgers so if I get 40 of these burgers and mash them together I can knock down 10 pin I mean no bowling alley is going to let you do that because it's food and it would mess up their machine there's no way this burger weighs a quarter of a pound so a Double Quarter Pounder that's just called a half pounder I I guess it would be yeah so if you get four of these you just call it a pounder yeah I guess they could do that I just don't it doesn't make sense J I don't yeah I'm going to get a scale and I'm going to weigh this meat wait what kind of scale I have a scale in my bathroom that's not going to work all right Cody I got a scale Junior that scale is not going to work this scale works oh yeah dude that thing Ain moving well that's because it's designed to weigh people not food so this thing can tell the difference if there's food or a person on it bro there's no cameras on here you can't tell well it's not calibrated to weigh food so if I put a watermelon on this will it weigh it well yeah because a watermelon is heavy and so is a/ quarter pound no it's not so what about premature babies that weigh a 1 quarter of a pound what there are no babies that weigh a quarter of a pound that would have to be the most malnourished premature baby ever it would be dead okay how many burgers to make a baby I don't know just shut up and put your meat on it Cody wait my meat yeah put your meat on the stupid scale so we can see how how much it weighs like right now yeah just pull it out come on like I can't like wiggle it around and warm it up I mean I'm kind of I'm kind of a grower not a shower Cody just just pull it out of the box oh the burger I thought you wanted us all to put our jimmies on there no weigh the burger meat oh no I'm not doing that but why not just put your stupid Burger on here to see if it weighs a quart of a pound why don't you try your burger because yours is already open well I'm not putting my food on something people's dirty feet of been on [ __ ] all right feet move out the way what Cody it's not moving I know because it weighs less than a pound it weighs nothing it doesn't even weigh quarter of a pound the deception we we can sue McDonald's because look Cody the red it didn't even move at all well it didn't move because it only weighs a quarter of a pound yeah and if a quarter of a pound it would have jiggled a little tiny bit it didn't move at all well no because it's not heavy enough because it's not quarter of a pound M Junior it it weighs a quarter of a pound no it doesn't we can sue McDonald's for false advertising and also the quarter pound with cheese if I order a quar pound with no cheese does the Box still say with cheese I mean probably I can sue them for false advertising because what if I'm lactose intolerant what what if I don't want cheese Junior don't Sue McDonald's you're just going to make a fool of yourself also look at this we weit it with the bun the cheese and the pickles and it's still not even a quar of a pound so the meat by itself would be even less of a quarter of not quarter of a pound it would be even less than that this whole thing is stupid Junior I don't want to be part of this l no no no no Cody cuz Joseph remember they they suit Subway because the the the the sandwiches weren't a foot long yeah yeah dude I remember that yeah they were only 11 and dude you remember the bread tasted like [ __ ] shoes yeah yeah yeah so we could sue McDonald's and we could make so much money let me get a lawyer oh yeah get that lawyer [Music] dude hey what the [ __ ] I'm in the shower what the hell you doing in my house are you a lawyer yes what the hell do you want I need a lawyer okay well you can't just come into my house and walk in the bathroom and I'm taking a shower you call me oh well I need a lawyer now well yeah apparently it's urgent hold on let me wash the sh shampoo off my balls and put my SE in there all right kid I'm dressed I'm not in the shower and I don't have head and shoulders in my balls so what do you want I want to sue McDonald's what you spill hot coffee and burn yourself no are you tired of their ice cream machine being broken no I weighed their Quarter Pounder and it doesn't weigh a quarter of a pound wait really yeah look at the scale see it's not moving and the Burger's on there huh are you sure the scale works yeah look oh I guess it does work well in that case you've got yourself a case so how much do you want to sue them for a billion dollar H make it two billion my fee is a billion dollars you're an expensive lawyer yes yes I am but with a case like this this is pretty much a slam dunk and I'm Scotty Pippen why not Jordan how many rings did Jordan win without Pippen huh huh how many no love for Pippen nobody loves Pippen it's fun to say too Pippen Pippen it's also my favorite Hobbit Anyway come on let's go to court oh my God baby that was amazing what you did to my McNuggets chef's kiss I got to name a meal after you or some [ __ ] like the the the sloppy poppy McNuggets meal and it comes with the free Shake with extra whipped cream but seriously though I'm sorry you didn't get anything out of it it'll call me 30 second round for nothing baby my drivethru is fast I'm fast what can I say I'm greedy but seriously though I I'm sorry you didn't get anything out of it I'll give you like a free gift card to McDonald's for like a free a free shake or some [ __ ] let's let's R some T me to get your mind off it yeah there's my chip breaking news Okay McDonald's is being sued for $2 billion because apparently their Quarter Pounders don't weigh a quarter of a pound so get off me you SL stay St Steve St well Ronald I guess you saw the news I came as fast as I could and then I turned on the news and I saw him getting sued why are we getting sued Steve well I guess it has something to do with our Quarter Pounders not really being a quarter pound if my quarter pound is don't weigh a quarter pound that I didn't just bang a hooker without her getting tested first did you do that yeah yeah yeah I did okay Ronald her name was Tiffany but it started with the p like pterodactyl the p is silent P Tiffany hey uh s some gift cards toore room uh $5 limit actually only said one I didn't like it that much okay I'll get right on that as soon as we deal with the lawsuit oh yeah my meat ways are sent done Steve okay yeah my meat ways are [ __ ] done I I know Ronald but we're going to have to go to court let me go to court Steve no no no no no I'm going to represent McDonald's let me represent McDonald's Steve no no Ronald I don't think that's a good idea I'm lawyer it's my job Steve I could have been a lawyer I'm smart well you do make burgers I invented Burgers not really you just made them good yeah real good so let me go to court with you Steve I'll win the cas for us I I don't think that's a good idea let's go spe order order order order I am the honorable Judge W and today we will be hearing the case of Junior who is suing McDonald's because he claims their quarter pound of burger weighs less than a quar of a pound Junior and your lawyer explain your findings your honor my client came to me starving because he ordered what he thought was a quar pound of beef but it turned out to be a quar pound of Lies see he weighed the Burger on a scale and the scale showed no movement which means the burger weighs nothing so now he wants the burger renamed to the nothing pounder and he wants $2 billion after taxes and also I get a billion dollars if we win H this is a major accusation council do you have proof of the burger not weighing as much as advertised yes your honor we will demonstrate now go ahead Junior okay your honor you see the scale and there's the quarter pounder with cheese notice how it's not moving because the quter pound of with cheese does not weigh a quarter of a pound very daming evidence Mr Ronald McDonald and your lawyer what have you to say about this well your honor we and MC Donald's would like to deny the claim shut up Steve let me talk but Ronald I would advise you not to speak I said shut up Steve let me talk listen you they think that my meat weighs less than a quarter of a pound you tell them to ask their mother how much my meat weighs because she had it in her mouth last night order order order order Mr Ronald McDonald settle down there will be no shouting in my courtroom all right judge I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry but this case is [ __ ] my meat weighs a t uh what Ronald is trying to say is that we can prove our meat weighs a quarter of a pound let me show you no Steve no let me show let me Let Me Whip It Out Steve not your penis Ronald oh come on Steve please the burger all right fine but once we win I'm whipping it out Ronald don't all right you I brought a real scale not something your mother's F ass stepped on and broke so let's turn it on now before we weigh this beautiful delicious quar pound does anyone want to guess how much it weighs irana uh quarter of a pound I don't know let's see 5.59 Oz Over A4 PB well no no no no it has the buns that's why it weighs so much the Buns I'm sorry let's take those off 3.3 o that's under A4 PB you [ __ ] well I suppose McDonald's is guilty of lying about the size of that Mar you're you're see here it does way a and it has cheese so it still wouldn't be that much he has a when we weigh it according to the regulations from USDA we have to weigh it in raw at A4 pound and then we cook it when it Cooks it loses a little weight that happens to everybody so I win yes what I am seeing is less than a/4 of a pound of food and therefore you are guilty Junior you are correct you out of this is [ __ ] f you f you I'm out of here I already banged the go wait we did it we won we won Milli well Ronald looks like we lost we're going to have to pay them that $2 billion but but you know we make $8 billion a year so if you think about it that's really just like a parking ticket Ronald please say something you're scaring me where were you Steve you're supposed to be my lawyer you're supposed to protect me protect me Steve where were you when I was embarrassing myself in front of the judge Ronald I told you not to represent yourself Steve you're supposed to be my boy you know that every time a quarter pound is sold you're supposed to be the one that checks to make sure it weighs a qu pound Steve Well Ronald I can't check every single burger then what am I paying you for did jerk yourself off Steve cuz you're not jerking me off that's what pany did earlier listen Ronald we have some very difficult decisions to make we can either rename the quarter pounder to the nothing pounder or we can add more meat to the burgers add more meat that would cost me Millions no no no no no they're going to rename it to the 3 o lb Steve well maybe we shouldn't put the weight in the name at all so we don't get Su again oh you know what that's a good idea how about we name it the ass pounder after what happened to me in court today Steve my ass pounded to [ __ ] I want whenever someone bites into my 3 oz pounder to remember the ass pounding that got handed to me on National Television in court today Steve okay Ronald we can do that but we're still we're going to have to write that check for $2 billion okay Steve the judge never told us how long we had to pay it back so I say we take that $2 billion and pay it back to him over the course of 2 million years Steve we'll make them suffer $83.33 a month I think is what that would make it generational wealth Steve so you go ahead and uh tell me how much I'm worth Steve uh well I I don't know but I think you're in debt I am I am did you look at my Wiki recently because I'm 4.71 billion I can't pay him cuz I got no money except in my offshore accounts he Steve so do me your favor Steve baby go ahead write him that check and while you do tell them tell them that money's right here right right here Steve say spend it wisely you suckers okay Steve I'm going to go on my yach I got a bunch of European babes on it I'll see you later Steve so kid what are you going to buy with your billion dollars I'm going to buy the planet Saturn oh cool I didn't know it was for sale ask me what are you going to buy with your billion dollars I'm going to make Jurassic Park but in real life like I'm going to buy some fossils and some scientists and make it happen every time I see the movie I think I could do that better and I always thinking about buying a museum and having Ben Stiller be the night guard I bet some wacky stuff would happen hey there I have your check for $2 billion oh give me giveme givme give me wait this check is for $83.33 yeah because McDonald's has $4 billion of equity debt and we can't afford to pay you the $2 billion all at wants so we're going to pay you $83.33 over 2 million years bye what 2 million years I'm probably not even going to be alive then and Ben Stiller is definitely going to be dead they're going to have to make Jurassic Park out of me wait we're not getting our $2 billion right now no they found a loophole we really should have had the judge set a deadline for when they had to pay it so now they can pay it as long as they want and it's going to take 2 million years God I really wish I was a better lawyer hey guys it's Logan we officially launch an SML gaming channel go subscribe right now we're going to be uploading gaming videos every single day so please go subscribe to the new SML gaming channel for new content every single day me in Bill tus Jeffy ow I'm dead I'm so incredibly dead help me why would you break it where you at Cody Joseph help me come here come here why Joseph why not Logan help I mean do your help yeah why not Logan I'm a little offended you don't want me to help you're the one who killed me because you built a floor where I was trying to climb up wait where's Jeffy I'm over here getting shot at oh yeah I forgot there are people daddy my cat piano stuck your cat piano stuck where I where IAL where I Marvin just go follow him he can use his words he's not 19 years old where is it stuck at go what go show me go right there Jeffy how' your cat piano get on the roof I threw it well Jeffy I'm not getting it it's gone forever okay Jeffy fine I'll go get it just stay right here all right Jeffy I'm on the roof I'm going to grab your stupid cat piano my back Daddy is my CA okay my back hurts jimy col an ambulance oh my back hurts so bad okay Marvin so I printed out your X-ray on normal printer paper cuz our Hospital doesn't have much of a budget but if you'll see here your spine is all crooked so it's pretty much broken you know when I first saw this x-ray I thought maybe this wasn't yours I thought maybe this was the X-ray of one of the many women that I've banged you know cuz I I break their back from how rough I am at the sex right that's what women like they're like oh he broke my back from sex you know it's not the motion of the ocean it's the boat doctor can we please Focus or do I have to go to Linda and LR again no no you don't you don't have to do that I'm focused so yeah your back is messed up I know I fell off the roof oh the roof the roof the roof is on fire doctor I I'm sorry I'm sorry I I didn't take my ADHD medication today I I got it so yeah your back is all crooked and it's supposed to be straight can you fix my back my neck my back my [ __ ] and my crack doctor I'm sorry he just keeps saying song lyrics Focus was a movie with Will Smith and Margot Robbie and it was not very good you know I'm pretty sure they actually banged but yeah yeah yeah back so I I would recommend that you wear a back brace okay there's nothing else you could do to fix it well you could see a chiropractor what's a chiropractor well somebody who pops your back to make it feel good you know I consider myself to be a chiropractor of [ __ ] that's it I'm going to Linda in HR no no no no you don't have to Oh Linda [ __ ] hates me I've been written up so many times before I'm probably going to get fired Marvin just go talk to a chiropractor okay ow ow ow ow my back hurts Marvin I'm sorry your back hurts yeah me too what's wrong with D I broke my back when I fell off the roof trying to get your stupid cat piano oh Jeffy don't annoy Marvin look his back's all crooked well why won you just fix it you can't fix it Jeffy it's crooked forever baby can you please turn on the TV so I can have something to watch okay where is he tell me where a chiropractor is with affordable prices that's me call the Batman if you don't want to be charged I'm or a leg I'll just charge your insurance I defeat back pain on the Vengeance I am the night you either die with back pain or you live long enough to no longer have back pain I'm the backman baby look a chiropractor you have to call the backman and get me an appointment he can fix my back okay I'll call him right now I'm not not getting any phone calls honey have you had any luck getting business no Sharon I'm a chiropractor named bman I thought that commercial was going to go crazy oh I'm getting a call hold on hold on Shar your mother again shut up Sharon this is back Wayne speaking oh I'm sorry I was looking for bman uh yeah yeah yeah let me let me go get him uh bman you're you're getting a call oh oh I am oh that's crazy let me let me just come right over here hello this is the backman oh yes my husband's having a lot of back pain back pain my Arts Nemesis where is he where is he going where's Rachel well I don't know who Rachel is but my husband's laying on our couch we too Beast uh I don't know can I just make an appointment of course you can but the bman only comes out at night okay can you come tonight yes I can I'll be there before the bomb detonates I cannot keep doing that voice that's killing me to The Back mobile all right Marvin I called the Batman he's on his way oh thank God my back hurts so bad can you roll me over on my stomach oh okay that's feeling a little bit more better I just trying to help are you okay wait a minute my back feels so much better what yeah it does no Marvin we need to go to the hospital and get it checked out yeah you're right maybe Jeffy like paralyzed me and I just don't feel it come on let's go all right Marvin this is your old X-ray and this is your new x-ray see your spine looks great now when I first saw this I thought maybe that wasn't your spine I thought maybe I'd accidentally slapped my dick down in the X-ray machine oh man she's already writing who's that that's Linda from HR she's here to watch my performance as a doctor not in bed cuz if it was in bed she'd give me a d well actually I'd give her the D and she'd give me an a for how good my D was stop writing guys this might be my last day as a doctor but whoever your chiropractor is he did a great job oh well Jeffy he hit me in the back with a baseball bat okay well I wouldn't recommend he do that anymore I think you got extremely lucky this time just like I might get lucky later right Linda no well guess what I I wouldn't even ban you if you wanted to how about that I wouldn't even poke you in Facebook actually I would I'm going to get her someday you just wait okay so my back is perfectly fine yeah yeah it's fine okay come on guys Marvin I'm so glad your back is back to normal yeah maybe I can put it in your back door tonight icky who's at the door hello did somebody call the backman oh yeah you're the chiropractor guy chiropractor where cuz I'm the backman Now where's the back that needs saving oh we don't need your help anymore my back feels fine now what yeah so my back was hurting really bad but then I got it fixed so we don't need your help then why did you call the backman why why did you shoot the back signal oh well we I did need your help but I don't need your help anymore you you couldn't like call me while I was driving here in the back mobile I just got stop and fill it up with gas man that that's sh expensive I can't make it home now oh well I'm really sorry I mean I did need your help but I don't need your help anymore are you sure you don't want like a back Rob or something no my back actually feels really good happy ending no we don't need anything anything nothing come on man this is really an inconvenience I'm I'm so sorry like I I really I don't know what to say I mean I'm sorry for wasting your time you know what screw you man don't don't call me again sorry backman who's at the door Marvin it was the backman oh yeah I forgot we called him yeah he was very upset that we didn't need his Services anymore a I swear if that's the bman do you have any money I can give him like a dollar um I think so yeah I'll give him this dollar because he won't stop annoying me look here's a dollar go away you really think a dollar is going to get me to go away you owe $2,900 .99 more of these for this month oh Goodman I didn't know it was you I thought it was the bman are you on [ __ ] bath salts no no no there's a guy named the bman and he has a picture of a back on his stomach well I'm the money man and so I need 2,999 more of these and I'm sure if you have one there's more around your house so let's get to looking no no there isn't all right so where's the rest of that money at there is no more money Marvin what's Goodman doing here he's here for the house payment oh another dollar I knew I was getting hard oh oh what's wrong I have a slip disc in my back from banging prostitutes in my Lamborghini you ever gotten a blumkin in a Lamborghini Marvin it's called a blumpkin guini it'll change your life and yes I do [ __ ] in my Lamborghini and I just sell it afterwards well if your if your back is hurting Jeffy can fix your back really yeah just lay there and he he'll do it hold on he's not going to pee ddy me is he no no just stay still Jeffy do it all right wait a minute I think he fixed me yeah I told you Jeffy could fix your back you know what Marvin you you don't owe a house payment this month and you can keep the $2 never mind I'm going to take that with me Jeffy I think you could actually be a chiropractor with your bat back oh my god oh who's at the door this time hello hey there I'm Sergeant chief of the Department of Homeland Security oh how can I help you has your son been fixing people's backs with a bat lately yeah he's been hitting people with bats good well you see the president of Russia Vladimir Putin has a herniated disc in his back and he heard about your son's Miracle back fixing technique so he's on his way over to your house right now for your son to fix his back now we think this would be the perfect opportunity for your son to paralyze Vladimir Putin from the neck down so while he's fixing his back just have your son beat the crap out of his back until he's paralyzed then he won't be able to give orders well I guess he could still talk just have your son kill Vladimir Putin kill him yeah yeah he's on his way over here right now though he actually pulled up just right after I did so actually can I hide inside your house I don't want him to see me leaving oh yeah sure come on who was at the door Marvin it was the Department of Homeland Security why they want Jeffy to kill Vladimir Putin oh that's nice all right Jeffy that's him bring your bat all hello hello it is me Vladimir ptin ptin nice to meet you Vladimir Putin yes nice to meet you too so how was your flight from Russia it was fine listen my back hurt I have herni a disc so you whack yes you pick that and you whack my back yes we will whack your back with the bat Jeffy I want you to hit his back really hard with that bat okay yes whack get out the back all right Jeffy hit him in the back go that's so fast no one kills Putin on my watch what do hold up come on backman give him his back back we got to kill BL booty look I'm not [ __ ] I can take wh come on give him the back back who's the Batman now okay what is [ __ ] you fix back or I look America tomorrow we we we got to fix his back there's no need for that turn around Mr botin now you're going to Cross Your Hands you're going to feel a little tuck one two one two my NE feels so much better thank you very much don't thank me thank goam oh okay well I guess your back's fixed yeah I feel fine I'm not the hero that this town needs but I am the hero that this town deserves who the [ __ ] is that that was the backman okay well thank you for fixing back God damn it damn it damn what the hell was that boys the backman came and saved Vladimir Putin's life damn it that was our only chance he had no security or anything that just hurts my back well your backman sto my bat so I can't help you there [ __ ] so is Jeffy Kyra practor now I guess so I don't give a [ __ ] hey guys it's Logan we officially launched an SML gaming channel go subscribe right now we're going to be uploading gaming videos every single day so please go subscribe to the new SML gaming channel for new content every single day me in build towards Jeffy ow I'm dead I'm so incredibly dead help me why would you break it where you at doesn't help me come here come here why Joseph why not Logan help I mean do your help yeah why not Logan I'm a little offended you don't me to help you're the one who killed me because you built a floor where I was trying to climb up wait where's Jeffy I'm over here getting shot at oh yeah I forgot there are people happy Easter everybody Easter eggs for everybody I love cutting my grass on Easter run my bike but my feet can't touch the pedal oh [ __ ] man out oh my God my baby someone help uh-oh is that my fault hey there Mr eer Bunny we meet again you still on crack you know it yeah well you're under arrest for littering with all these eggs and attempted involuntary manslaughter of a child I didn't do nothing yeah till to the judge order order order order I am the honorable Judge p and today we will be hearing the case of the Easter bunny who is being accused of littering as well as the attempted involuntary manslaughter of a child mother of the Dead child tell me what happened well my son was riding his bicycle and then out of nowhere in Easter egg came flying like 100 m hour and hit him in the head wa so let me get this straight Mr Easter Bunny you threw an egg at a child's head no a lbo will ran over the egg shot the egg at the at the kid wait wait wait are you still on crack Mr Easter Bunny yeah you really need to stop that Mr Easter Bunny crack kills Mr hucko is it true that your lawn mower launched the egg at the child's head yeah I was mowing my lawn and the damn Easter Bunny threw eggs all over my yard without my permission I just didn't see them H I see so if the Easter Bunny hadn't littered his eggs all over your yard you wouldn't have run over them with your lawnmower which caused the child to die well in that case I have no choice but to sentence the Easter Bunny 2 15 years in Maximum Security Prison Jeffy are you ready to go Easter egg hunting sure I am Daddy I got my helmet on got my diaper on my ash is full of gas and I got my basket all right Jeffy let's go outside and look for eggs PE PE all right Jeffy start looking for for Easter eggs but Danny I don't see any eggs wow the Easter Bunny hid the eggs really good this year well probably cuz you're 19 years old Jeffy he made them really hard but look daddy that yard over there has eggs yeah wait a minute that yard has eggs did he not give me eggs cuz I'm a bad boy probably B well I don't know why we don't have eggs it doesn't make any sense Jeffy stop putting the basket on your head you knocked that off look let's go turn on the news and see if there's something going on maybe there's Easter egg shortage breaking news the Easter Bunny was arrested for littering an attempted involuntary manslaughter he's being held in jail with no bond he's facing up to 15 years in prison without the possibility of parole the Easter Bunny's in jail well that explains why we didn't have any Easter eggs so no Easter for me boohoo I don't get my way well Jeffy we could go to the store and get Easter eggs it's not the same well we can hide on like the Easter Bunny no I want the Easter Bunny to do it so I'm going to break the Easter Bunny out of jail you can't do that Jeffy that's illegal well I'm going to try and then maybe he'll give me the golden egg what's wrong Junior I can't open this bottle of coke we get a bottle opener I don't have one yeah you do you mind if I use my ass what okay Junior there you go but where's the bottle cap at it's still on my ass you want it back there you go Junior drink that [ __ ] hey going did you get Easter eggs from the Easter Bunny no well neither did I because he got arrested well he has a crackhead yeah he is well you guys want to go break him out of jail Jeffy how are we going to break him out of jail we're just kids yeah how are we going to do that well I have the perfect plan let me tell you okay so we go into the woods and we capture a mole against his will and we tell him we want him to dig a tunnel underneath the prison all the way to the Easter Bunny cell after digging we go down in the tunnel and we go playing a Minecraft TNT block under the Easter Bunny cell and we ignite it so it blows a hole in the bottom of the floor we grabb the Easter Bunny and Cody you're going to be wearing an Easter bunny costume and you're going to stay in the prison sale so they don't notice that the Easter Bunny is gone then we're going to speed away on our motorcycles with the real Easter Bunny and then after a few months of Cody being there as the Easter Bunny you're going to take off the costume and they're going to say wait what is this kid doing in jail he doesn't belong here and then they're going to let you out Jeffy that's the perfect plan it'll work yeah dude let's do it no that's impossible how is it impossible well first of all we'd have to find a mole and then we'd have to get that mole to dig a tunnel underneath the prison right under the Easter Bunny cell which we don't even know where that is and also you'd have to train a mole to do that which it's a mole it's not even going to [ __ ] listen to you and even if it did it would take years for it to dig a tunnel that big and the tunnel would have to be big enough for all four of us and motorcycles and it would have to be big enough not to collapse in on itself which means we'd need scaffolding or some kind of support system and then also Minecraft TNT blocks aren't even real and even if we had one the guards would hear us blow up the floor of the cell and we could risk killing the Easter Bunny and then even if all of that worked I'd still have to go to prison for months you just don't want to go to prison well yes but also the whole plan is impossible okay we're not doing that plan cuz Cody doesn't want to help what dude don't worry I got the perfect plan so we get 100,000 people to all gather around the prison and then we get everyone to jump at the same exact time causing an earthquake which will break the prison in half with the Easter Bunny cell on one side while the cops are on the other side so the cops can't get to them because the Earth to split in half dude then we can get a helicopter to fly down and drop a ladder so the Easter Bunny can climb up it and we fly away Joseph that's the coolest plan ever it's even better than jeffy's plan yeah let's do that no that plan's even more ridiculous how is it ridiculous Cody it doesn't involve moles or Minecraft T or you going to jail well you'd have to gather 100,000 people and have them all surround a prison and then the prison would wonder why there was 100,000 people gathered around it all jumping up and down so they'd call the National Guard and even if all 100,000 people jumped at exactly the right time which would be impossible to time that still wouldn't be enough to cause an earthquake and even if it did you'd have to hope the tectonic plates lined up just perfectly to break the prison in half so that the Easter Bunny cell was separated from all the guards and I don't even know where the [ __ ] we' get a helicopter to fly in and drop a ladder down to the Easter Bunny and then even after all that the police would just chase our helicopter with their helicopters anyway okay Cody so what I'm understanding is you don't want to meet 100,000 people because of Co what you don't want to get sick be friendly [ __ ] yeah make friends but no okay we're not going to do that idea cuz is afraid of germs and we have 100,000 people watching right now hit that like button if you'd meet us at the president jump up and down anyway listen to my plan it's perfect so I'll get hired as a prison security guard and Cody you'll get hired as the prison chef and when it's dinner time Cody you will poison the Easter Bunny's food and I'll bring him his food and after he starts eating he'll start dying from it being poisoned and I'll yell for the Medics and Joseph will show up because he got a job as the ambulance driver and we'll put the bunny in the back of the ambulance and we'll go to the hospital because jeffy's there and Jeffy got a job as a doctor and then Jeffy will heal the Easter Bunny with medicine and then we'll all speed off and run away with the Easter Bunny and he'll be escaped dude that plan is hot yeah Junior you really thought that one through that plan also will not work why won't it work Cody it doesn't involve 100,000 people in Co well you would have to get a job as a prison guard which they wouldn't hire you because you're a kid and I would have to get a job as a chef at a prison which they wouldn't hire me because I'm a kid and even if they did hire me I don't know how I would smuggle poison into the prison and I don't know how much poison to give the e bunny that wouldn't kill him because he's a rabbit and even if all of that worked out Joseph would have to get a job as an ambulance driver and they wouldn't hire him because he's a kid and he doesn't have a driver's license and Jeffy would have to be a doctor but he'd have to go through a lot of medical school before they even hired him so that's not going to work either so what you're saying is you don't want to do my plan yes that's what I'm saying all right group vote who wants to do my plan uh not me dude I'm going to do my plan so I'm going to go and get these 100,000 people I'll be back well now we can't do my plan cuz we don't have an ambulance driver well we can do my plan no because I have a plan what is it my plan is that we go to the prison and we get visitors passes so we just visit the Easter Bunny so we can see what cell he's in so that the mole knows which cell to dig under I was going to say we visit the Easter Bunny and then go home all right good idea all right guys let's go to the prison and see what cell the Easter bunnies in what all right kids the Easter Bunny's in there yo Easter Bunny you got visitors pull the carrot out of your ass and hop hop hop over here oh he kids oh Mr Easter Bunny why are you in a straight jacket Mr Easter Bunny I scratched someone's face off oh why do you have a mask on I keep spitting on people and I have HIV from Sharon Needles Junior why do we want him out of here I don't want him out of here Jeffy wants them out of here I want them out of here because I want Easter eggs well we could have gone to Walmart and bought those I don't want them from Walmart I want them from the Easter Bunny I get my eggs from one too see all right guys we have to think of a plan to get them out of here cuz we're already here so uh Mr Easter Bunny can you fit through the bars I don't know let's see no oh his head's too big let me see hey Junior I can fit through wait wait a minute I can fit through too what does that mean I don't know but you know we're just thinking wait guys I have an idea what if I go inside the jail cell like this and I yell help help the Easter Bunny pulled me through the bars and then when the cop comes to get me out of the cell then I'll tell him that I drop my phone in the toilet over there and then he'll go digging in the toilet and then you guys grab the Easter Bunny and run out of the prison with him sure [ __ ] it it's a plan yeah all right guys you guys you guys hide and I'm going to call for help help help the Easter budy pull me through the bars help what's going on what kid how did you even get in there the Easter Bunny pulled me in through the bars how he's wearing a straight jacket uh he he he pinch me with his with his ears he can pinch him like scissors oh I didn't even know that okay that's good to know I'm going to have to put him in a straight hat yeah well can you get me out of here please yeah she hold on wait a minute before I do that I should probably have my partner Simmons watch the door no no no you don't have to get another cop just come in here by yourself and get me out well I don't want to risk the Easter Bunny getting out he's really dangerous he even killed a kid with an Easter egg oh hey Simmons yeah M can you watch the door I don't want the Easter Bunny getting away yeah sure oh damn it they have another cop watching the door what are we going to do come on kid let's go uh I can't leave yet why do you want to stay here believe me prison is not somewhere you want to be your butthole gets bigger from penis oh no I I I dropped my phone in that toilet when I was trying to call for help oh God that's so gross do you know how much disease is in there ew I really don't want to grab that well get your partner to grab it oh good idea hey Simmons Simmons yeah I hey this kid dropped his phone in the toilet can you grab it no I'm supposed to be watching the door oh come on Simmons help me out no mate you're the plumber you go get it well I Plum all the time right can't you just Plum just this one time no see I don't even know how to flush the toilet properly well I I you don't have to flush it you just have to reach in there with your hand it's not hard well no sometimes when I pee I pee all over the seat instead of the water okay well I don't see how that's related but Sim come on remember that time at Dunkin Donuts when you were short 50 cents yeah but but but anyway you should totally go in there listen Simmons we're getting distracted this whole thing is stupid one of us needs to reach into that toilet and grab that phone well then you reach in there and grab it wait there's not even a phone in the toilet hold on where's the kid wait where's the Easter Bunny what Simmons we've been had let's get after the Easter Bunny guys we saved the Easter Bunny can you take this [ __ ] off me yeah I'll take it off you not so fast yeah they look weird upside it down Simmons we're trying to be scary here Bo all you kids are under arrest for helping the Easter Bunny break out of jail we just wanted to save the Easter Bunny so all the kids can have Easter you don't need Easter you have Christmas and Halloween he's a dangerous criminal I guess wait what is that noise it sounds like a large crowd of people like a football stadium yeah all right guys look I got 100,000 people waiting outside right now and I told him to jump in 5 seconds why would you tell them to jump around my house for practice it's okay it won't cause an [Music] earthquake hey guys it's Logan we officially launched an SML gaming channel ghost of subscribe right now we're going to be uploading gaming videos every single day so please go subscribe to the new SML gaming channel for new content every single day me in build towards Jeffy ow I'm dead I'm so incredibly dead help me why would you break it where you at Cody help me come here come here why Joseph why not Logan help I mean do your help yeah why not Logan I'm a little offended you don't me to help you're the one who killed me because you built a floor where I was trying to climb up wait where's Jeffy I'm over here getting shot at oh yeah I forget their people so guys what do you want to do today let's watch a movie yeah movie night ooh what movie are we going to watch dude let's watch Tom Brady's movie 80 for Brady no not 80 for Brady his other movie Haiti for Brady what's that about Tom Brady goes to Haiti oh he going on vacation yeah cuz his wife left him I'm down all right let's watch it huh what was that gunfire I just wanted to go to the beach oh this place is scary man I hate when celebrities record movies in exotic locations just so they can get a free vacation and they get to ride off on their taxes come on relate to the people I don't think he had a good time wait who are you texting my friends Junior who said you could have friends Junior stop being so controlling are you talking to guys no Junior well one but he's totally gay oo hello wait what app is that it's Snapchat Junior you have a Snapchat yes everyone has Snapchat not me well you should get it so we can send cute pictures back and forth send cute pictures oh I'm going to go to the bathroom and take a picture for Mariah what's wrong Junior she has a Snapchat Cody so a lot of people do but why does she need a Snapchat we have regular IM messages like why do she need a Snapchat who is she messaging on there other [ __ ] what oh my bad dude I thought you knew Snapchat is the cheating app why would you download an app that instantly deletes the messages it instantly deletes the messages yes sir ski wait wait what's it hiding like what's on there penis penis a whole lot of penis what penis Cody did you hear that a whole lot of penis on Snapchat why does she have a Snapchat Cody Junior I think maybe she's just using a popular app to talk to her friends she wasn't talking to any friends dude you heard her giggling that was a whole man making her laugh like that and the bigger the laugh the bigger the penis oh yeah it had to be a huge one the way she was giggling dude girls aren't funny you know that yeah if she was Ming her friend she wouldn't be laughing cuz cuz girls aren't funny like name one female standup comedian none can't they don't exist mhm I can name a couple like look at Kevin Hart he's black and man with penis and Dave Chappelle he's black and man with a penis do you think that gu she's talking to his black and man with a penis yes I do think so Cody she's cheating on me with a black guy with a penis Junior I really don't think so then why would she go to the bathroom to take a picture to toot that ass up and take some pics you know what I'm saying vanel vanilla Junior what are you sending booty picss to black comedians what no I'm sending this cute picture to my friend Mariah look I'm a unicorn man I don't think that's how unicorns sound but I'm just making sure you're not talking to guys or Cat Williams Junior stop being crazy come on let's go watch Hai for Brady okay okay so what did I miss in the movie well Tom Brady's trying to leave Haiti but four old women lost his plane ticket so now they have to do a dance off with Lady Gaga's choreographer oh okay o she texting [ __ ] let me see Junior stop being crazy if the messages aren't bad why can't I see them because Junior they're inside jokes with my friends nah she want inside her dude you know what I'm I'm thirsty I'm going downstairs for something to drink does anybody want anything I'll take a strawberry kiwi Capri son if that's a thing that exists okay great sounds like something I'd like dude she left her phone go in that [ __ ] oh can I go through it yeah no Junior don't do it it'll be an invasion of her privacy Mark Zuckerberg invad my privacy on Facebook okay you so I can go to my girlfriend's phone she's my girlfriend yeah look dude Cody can you tap it my fingerprints got burned off on a fire I know dude you're not even her background oh this [ __ ] over with what's that mean bro everybody knows if you're not your girls friend's background on her phone she must be cheating or she's trying to act like she's single oh yeah because if I was her background and a guy saw it he'd be like oh she has a she has a boyfriend but since I'm not the background any guy would think she's single mhm puss ready to eat for everybody or maybe she just likes flowers nobody likes flowers Cody the only people that like flowers are dead people okay all right so let me just try to guess the passcode Cody can you help me yeah okay uh what do you think it could be probably the number of dicks in her Snapchat how many is that m a million a million or it could be her birthday yeah it could be her birthday go ahead Junior put it in you don't know your girlfriend's birthday do you I do know it I just don't think she'd be stupid enough to put her birthday as her pass coat idiot you could just admit you don't know okay I don't know her birthday but here let me just try a few guesses um let's just 7 2 3 77 7 7 7 7 it didn't work cuz my fingerprints don't work but you try Cody F try those numbers I just said three to oh no guys I locked her out of her phone for 5 minutes hopefully she takes a long time getting that water she's coming back sorry Cody they didn't have your strawberry kiwi Capri Sun that's okay that is a real flavor though right yep okay good damn look how big that water is thirsty air yep I was thirsty all right guys let's watch Hai for Brady okay I'm going to check my Snapchat I don't think we should be on our phones Junior why am I locked out of my phone for 5 minutes uh what Junior why were you going through my phone I I I I didn't do that it it was Cody no it wasn't yes it was Cody remember you thought her phone was your phone and you kept typing your password over and over and you're like why isn't it working why isn't it working and then you realized it was Penelope's phone you locked her out that's a lie well Joseph did I lock her out of her phone hell no dude see Junior I know it was you why would it be me because you're crazy I'm not crazy I know you wouldn't cheat on me I know you wouldn't talk to other guys so what's the issue the issue is I'm locked out of my phone for 5 minutes and if you don't reply to that guy in 5 minutes he's going to break up with you there it is Junior I'm going home I'm over this yeah good luck going to his house without his address for 5 minutes guys you see her she's the worst I know why are you still in a relationship with her I know she's just the worst girlfriend she's so unloyal she's so crazy she doesn't have just trust issues she has trust issues guys junor you're the one who's trying to get into her phone because she's trying to cheat on me Cody girls cheat girls cheat over lust and love both it's really bad men don't cheat y we're loyal you've literally cheated on Penelope it was a mistake okay listen when girls cheat it's not a mistake they mean it they they truly mean it and you know what I'm going to follow her to her house what Junior don't do that why not I want to follow her to her house and see if she meets up with anybody you're going to be crazy no Joseph you want to come with me uh nah dude it's not going to look right for a black dude to follow a girl in the neighborhood at night it doesn't look great for anybody to do that listen George zerman doesn't live here Joseph you're good you're safe I don't know bro okay then I'll do it myself you guys don't want to be my best buds and help me fine all right [ __ ] [Music] Penelope dinner what's for dinner dad well I tried to make Hamburger Helper but we didn't have any hamburger so it's just helper ew dad that's disgusting shut up and eat your helper what are those oh those are Biscoff cookies I stole from the plane during my pilot job today well can I just eat those no you need your protein you didn't cook Hamburger look Penelope I'm a lot of things but I'm not a chef okay someone's at the door let me get it hello hey I'm P's boyfriend she said I could come over oh yeah I remember you hey Penelope I wish you would have told me we were going to have company I would have made more helper come on in I didn't invite anyone over Dad yeah you did your boyfriend's here junior I did not invite you to dinner yes she did she's just afraid that she's going to get grounded oh well sorry I don't have enough helper for you yeah so you should just go Penelope don't be rude offer him a Biscoff cookie whatever you like Biscoff and cookie form Penelope get off your phone during dinner it's rude dad I'm texting my friends she's texting Cat Williams Cat Williams penel you know Cat Williams no she's sending inappropriate photos oh that's it hand over the phone young lady no dad I don't know Cat Williams Cat Williams is a pimp and I will not have you texting pimps at the table now hand it over fine now what's the passcode it's the first 50 digits of pie okay well I don't care that much now help me with this jigsaw puzzle I got to find this lady's other tit I'm going to my room you should probably leave it's weird if we have dinner together oh can I have some Hamburger Helper to go well it's only Helper but yeah he up my plate I don't really want it guys guys I took Penelope's phone so you stole Penelope's phone from her no I took it from her dad oh so you stole it from her dad Bingo and I know the passcode to get in oh dude let's get in that thing yeah so what's the passcode it's the first 50 digits of pie pie Jesus what does she have on there maybe you should be worried I know that's why I have to get in there Cody a dude I know this one it's p can pie 3.99 duh what y'all looking for pie right I saw it on the way over here it was at Walmart for on sale for $3.99 it was a good deal but no Joseph not the price of pi the number Pi all right then you figure it out since you know everything got down yeah what's the first 50 digits of pie Cody well I don't know the first 50 digits I know the first five then what are they it's like 3.1415 what's the next one I don't know then why were you so confident saying it imagine I'm like oh I know the alphabet A B CDE e f g and then go pause and [ __ ] well p goes on forever no it doesn't once you're done eating the pie it's gone Cody no not look I'll just look it up okay I got it all right type it in Jesus okay let's see 3.14 1 wait wait wait wait wait wait you didn't do the point what no Junior there's no point there is a point I want to get in the phone to see who she's texting no Junior where's the point the point is I want to see if she's talking to other guys no I I mean there's no period on the screen e she's not going to rub her
