Simon Sinek - How to build SELF CONFIDENCE, Leadership Mindset

[Applause] [Music] human beings Homo sapiens been on this planet fifty thousand years ish right and for forty of those fifty thousand years literally four-fifths of our our time on this planet we lived in populations that were never larger than about 150 people and we didn't all live on top of each other and they were counting disease and the way we survived in these dangerous times if you took care of each other you know we contributed some people built things some people hunted the things some people made food some people we took care of the kids we were their families and and and the wealth was distributed you know there's there's there's evidence they found in anthropological digs where the best cuts of meat which you would think would go to all the alphas because I'm the strongest I get to choose the food first you know the best cuts of meat which they can tell by the bones are actually distributed amongst the tribe in other words the the alphas the leaders yes they were entitled to eat first that's just the way we are were hierarchical animals even nobody has a problem that somebody more senior nobody has a nobody has a visceral contempt for the idea that somebody more senior in an organization makes more money than me we're okay with our alpha is getting better treatment yeah you know nobody has a problem with celebrities you know getting getting a table in the restaurant that we have drank forever we're okay with it you know it's it's one of the reasons we all try and work you know increase our standing in society by doing good and you know hopefully you do it in a good way not just getting you know internet-famous which is getting fame without any contribution to society different subject right but it was it was a it was it was shared hardships shared sacrifice for the good of each other you know that doesn't mean there was an ego and selfishness and of course but at the end of the day we needed each other yeah and then about 10 or 12 thousand years ago we started farming we didn't need to travel anymore we could stay put and we could also sustain much larger populations than about 150 because we could because we could amass resources this also allowed for ruling classes and intelligence and things like that you can have an entire group of people who didn't hunt and didn't gather they just governed mmm you know like it's a ruling class that's what it is were they just thought about laws a person like you could we had the resources for that and we were okay with it and it's a good thing because look at the advancements in modern society in the past 10,000 years simply because we we couldn't we know you didn't have to go to oil the field you you could actually go invent something good innovate you could innovate right so it's a good thing but scale breaks things for human beings yeah you know we were not naturally made for living in large populations and so the way it works best is when when we when we organize into smaller groups which is why hierarchy matters which is why leadership training matters so you asked about is the tough person responsible no the top person was responsible for taking care of the people in their direct responsibility and ensuring that they are charged with and incentivized to take care of the people you know with their direct responsibility who were charged with and incentivized to take care of the people in their direct responsibility and the people on the front lines are actually doing all the work feel taken care of and and are happy to contribute there's a marine that I know who's a marine general who says the way he can judge the quality of a lieutenant is he listens he listens to how the the troops talk about their lieutenant so when he's not around when is when they look is that the lieutenant where's that our lieutenant they take possession of their leader right that's our lieutenant right versus that's it's always the colonel it's never our colonel so it's the colonel because there's no relationship it's too too distant right so as soon as we take possession emotional possession of our leaders there's a there's a sign of devotion and mutual trust but that relationship starts with how the leader leads yes we have a responsibility to give back but we call you leader not because you have the rank we call you leader because you took the risk to trust first we you you took your we took all you leader because you took the risk to build the relationship first you the risk to create the circle of safety first you took the risk to go headfirst towards the vision first that's why we call you leader because you undertook an element of risk mmm youyou literally lead you went first right nothing to do with rank into the unknown into the unknown whatever it is right and and then we have a responsibility to go I'm coming I support you know there's good followership to not to you always do this to me whenever we get together you know the best leaders are actually the best followers mmm in what way it's what do you mean the best leaders never think that they're the final that the buck stops with them they always believe that they're in service to something bigger than themselves and even if that leader the person in leadership position gets the tippy-top of whatever organization they still feel that they're subordinate to something even bigger right so the Pope does still thinks that he's in service to something bigger than than him right a CEO of a visionary organization feels that they are still beholden to and in and following a vision bigger than them so the best leader is actually the best followers even if they're at the highest levels of the organization they're still in service so I think it's ironic that we call it self confidence because I don't for one think it comes from the inside I think our self confidence comes from the outside the we are being misdirected by the name when we say build yourself confidence that's the instruction is saying go inside look inside oneself but I think that's I think that's a I think that's a false direction children aren't born self confident their confidence is built from their parents and their friends and their teachers where they're rewarded when they do well and they're pushed when they fail when they can do better simply you know what we know this that's simply telling kids that they're great all the time actually doesn't build self confidence actually does the total opposite right and I for one I can tell you my in my own experience my own self a hundred percent comes from the relationships that I have it's not some deep internal fortitude you know a world-famous trapeze artist is not gonna try a brand new death-defying act for the first time without a net so it's the people in my life it's it's when when I do doubt myself that somebody says you got this when somebody says I believe in you when somebody says no matter what happens whether it succeeds or fails I'm gonna be by your side that's when I have the confidence to do difficult things Wow right I don't have some natural battery that I that just you know that that to me is bravado yeah I don't know that's self-confidence you know you know being a huge risk taker is not an indication of self-confidence to me you know jumping out of a plane and jumping out of a plane with a parachute are two different things right right to me self-confidence is measured and there should be a degree of doubt but but I I think true self confidence belief in one's self and belief in one's cause you know I could not do the things that I'm doing and I would not have the strength to have made the sacrifices that I've made or continue to wake up on a daily basis to drive to spread this message if I were alone and so when we talk about building when self confidence I think the mistake that we make is that we look inside I think the reality is we're trying to build our self-confidence we should be looking to our friends we should be nursing our relationships when I'm looking to build my self-confidence the question is who around me do I need to take care of you know the way we bid Oh self-confidence is by helping somebody else build theirs it's an actus we will build our confidence with an act of service so I'll tell you a true a true story so I did an experiment I love doing experiments in my own life yeah I mean you know I have my thoughts I'm like well that's let's try this one out so I have a very dear friend who is stuck with me through thick and thin she is absolutely profoundly one of the reasons that I am Who I am today right and I have my confidence in large part because of her arm right she's one of a small group of people who like I look at and say mmhmm yep yeah good friend right she was struggling like seriously struggling oh let me take a step back so we decided that we were gonna she look she was she was struggling she'd go since she was going through some hard hard things in her life career wasn't going the way she wanted her personal relationship was struggling it was a there's a lot of lack of confidence there was a lot of rough she was lacking confidence yeah and we would get together on a regular basis and I would attempt to coach her you know and she feel great for the hour after she left me and then it would very quickly go back to normal and we'd get back together and I would coach her and she felt great for the hour after she left me and then it would go back to normal and I wouldn't I can't say that there was some profound change being made so I don't hairbrained idea I went to her and I said I need your help I said I'm struggling I don't have a coach that I that I love and trust you've known me for years I trust you with you know with everything I feel unbelievably safe around you I can you put together a program and can you coach me I think you're good at it and I it wasn't reciprocal as in I'll coach you you coach me I said it's just I want I need your help because I'm struggling it was legit it wasn't like I was just making stuff it was his legit I need I could do with the help and I and I trusted her to help me and something profound started to happen over the course of just a few weeks it wasn't even a few months but over the course of a few weeks she started to gain way more confidence mmm her career started to really move in a more positive direction her relationship firmed up and the more that she was in service to to me the more that she blew herself [Music]

Channel: Good Vibez

Views: 287,994

Rating: 4.8913174 out of 5

Keywords: simon sinek, good vibez, simon sinek 2020, self confidence, self-confidence, simon sinek self confidence, simon sinek leadership, simon sinek leaders eat last, simon sinek leadership and being a leader, simon sinek confidence, how to build self confidence, how to build self confidence in yourself, self confidence affirmations, self confidence exercises, building leadership capacity, leadership mindset, infinite mindset simon sinek, infinite mindset, start with why

Id: qQZP3Pzd9KM

Length: 11min 0sec (660 seconds)

Published: Mon Jan 27 2020