Simon Sinek - Help Others UNDERSTAND Their Own VALUE To Themselves - BEST SPEECH EVER | Inspiritory

the way we find fulfilment is by doing good for others so how do the marine zoo how do you get people to do good for others we all know this intellectually we know that it's good to do good for others but why don't we do it then why don't we do it and what the Marines learned is something that I completely did not expect they can't just yell at these guys to help each other that's not what happens there's a few things that they have to do first so we all heard of the obstacle course right the Marines have a thing called the obstacle course and this is where they they build an aerobic strength and aerobic strength muscle strength and it's timed and all of this good stuff they have another course called the confidence course and it's never timed and most of the obstacles on this course cannot be completed by yourself they must be completed in teams you have no choice that's just how it's designed and what they say is the first two weeks of boot camp everybody is there to outdo each other and prove that they're strong just kind of like when we start in a job with proof we want to show how great we are we'll work a little hard it will do good work look how good my design is right it's all about us and how good we are right but they keep putting them in situations where they can't do things by themselves and what starts to happen very slowly they said after about two weeks they start cheering for each other now they get in trouble when they do but they start cheering for each other and then before too long you see them organically start helping each other and what happens is if there's one person who's weak and refuses to help each other the others or even if there's one person who's strong who's you know I was the star college athlete and they get to every the end of every obstacle they just stand there and wait for everybody to finish and they don't help each other what starts to happen as organically the group starts to ostracize that person organically they get ostracized until they learn that the only way that they will get through this thing the only way they will survive boot camp is if they ask for help because they have no option the problem is no one will help them until they're willing to help another it's the deal we have to make it's called vulnerability and risk we have to take the risk to make ourselves vulnerable yes you might do something for someone else and they may not do something back for you that's the risk you run that's the risk you run it's not about it's not about giving everything to them and sort of huge big overwhelming risk it's about little things and little things it's like going on a date right it's like if I went on a date with somebody I came home and I said after one date I said I'm marrying her people like what are you nuts I'd be like I'm in love they're like what your this is crazy I'm like I know I'm in love yeah she feels the same way and we both know it's nuts right now you know that you're gonna be like go on a couple more dates right we know instinctively that the strong bond that's create that that needs to be created first takes more than a week right we know that right but if I've been dating somebody for seven years and we haven't you know married you'll be like dude what is wrong right in other words we know that it takes more than seven days and we know that it takes less than seven years the problem is we don't know how long it takes somewhere in the middle all human buns are the same like when you show up at work when you show for the first time when you're new don't expect that people will look out for you and they won't expect you to look out for them in seven days it won't happen but if you've been working at a job for a few years and you don't have the UH that the sort of the absolute confidence that if you turn your back you will not get stabbed you can rely on somebody you can give them something nothing will go wrong you will share the credit no one will throw you under the bus if you don't have that in a few years something's wrong something's wrong I don't know how long it takes but I know that's more than a week and I know it's less than seven years and the Marines fundamentally understand that before anyone is willing to put themselves out for another they have to have self-confidence real self confidence you have to be confident in yourself and your own ability before you're willing to help another if you're insecure at all about your own ability it's an oxy it's sort of a paradox right how am I can I overcome my confidence you know my self-confidence and we all have ego issues at all times you know we all do right but if I'm not confident myself I won't help another it's a paradox because then we need someone to look out for us before we're willing to help our peers right this is what management is supposed to do the drill instructors the school they are there are parents they are there for one reason and one reason only to help us feel strong and good about ourselves but look at the way we talk to each other look look a budgets been cut and so what do you get told I need you guys to do more with less right that's what we're told hey guys I need you guys to do more with less that's we're told by our clients by our bosses by our parents this is what we're told right that's like your parents telling you when you're young I know you're stupid figure it out right you're not as smart as the other kids what do you want me to do right it's the exact same thing I need you to do more with less right what we need to be telling people is I need you I need you to do more with what you have right you have capacity you have strength you have talent you have kapap ability I need you to do more with what you have we don't celebrate what we've got we criticize for what we don't have this is the responsibility of management to take us under their wing and help us understand our own value to ourselves close your eyes and think back to high school and think of that one teacher who took you under their wing and cared for you and looked after you and helped you realize that you are capable of more than you thought you were and you and you you probably are the person you are today in some part because of that person right do you have that name what's the name tell me the name tell me the name of the teacher okay give me the name okay I can point to anybody and you can tell me that name now tell me the names of all the other teachers you had that day can't remember them can you this is the power of those who teaches confidence we will literally carry their names around with us for the rest of our lives wouldn't you want to be that person wouldn't you want to be the person that 20 years from now 30 years from now 40 years from now I can do this exercise with somebody and they will tell me your name this is the power of helping others realize their own strengths this is what management and leadership is supposed to be doing they're supposed to be caring for us and helping us realize our own value and by the way if you have anybody who reports to your works for you your responsibility is not to make them meet the deadline your responsibility is not to make sure that they do as you say your responsibility is to make sure that they understand their own strengths their own value and that they are way way more talented than they think they are and the only way they will learn that is if you put them in situations in which they can fail and you hold them and you support them and you give them talent and you give them skills and you give them education and you watch their backs and if they fall over you encourage them to get back up and if they follow they you carriage them to get back up and if they fall over you encourage them to get back up until they figure it out themselves it's called confidence it's your responsibility to help others find it into others responsibility to help you find yours and the amazing thing is as soon as you start feeling confident in your own ability you naturally help each other that's what happens it's called trust in the military they give medals to people who are willing to sacrifice themselves so that others may gain in business we are willing to give bonuses to people who will sacrifice others so that we may gain we have it backwards and then we complain about how we don't love our jobs and we complain about how the work is suffering and we complain about how budgets are being cut and we can complain complain complain and the first thing we do is blame each other and become more selfish and worry about my pay and my benefits and my this and this is what happens when we are unfulfilled we look at the metrics and we say they're not good enough when we are fulfilled we don't care about the metrics this is why when you have a job you love and you get a call that says I'll offer you tons more money and great benefits you like I'm not interested I'm not interested I I'm not interested I'm very happy here but we'll give you more that's not the reason I'm here I'm here because I love it I'm here because I care for the people I work with and I'm here because the people I work with care for me this is the world I imagine this is the world I imagine and here's the great thing if you take little risks I'm not talking about big things little things if you start doing little things for each other the amazing anthropological response is other people will start doing little things for others too I was walking down the street two days ago and a guy's backpack was open a whole bunch of paper fell out as is walking down the street and I happened to be behind him and so my friend and I just sort of we were in mid conversation and in mid conversation we never even stopped talking we just bent down sort of helped him gather his papers hand them back to him sort of pointed out that his bet book bag was his you know his backpack was unzipped and he said thanks and we walked out it was like no big deal right we get to the end of the the street we stand at that we're waiting it to cross the street we still talking we haven't stopped talking and the guy in front of us turns to us and says I saw you help that guy that was really cool but here's what's great about that the guy will go do something for someone else simply because he saw us bend down and pick up paper for someone else he will actually go do something for someone else because of it right he he won't give to charity because he sees me put a dollar in a cup but he will actually help someone because he saw someone also helps someone little things hold a door open for someone say thank you to the person who holds the door open for you smile to the barista little little things you know put your foot in the subway when the door is closing so someone who's running will make it hit the open at the elevator don't go or pretend you didn't see that's the best one you know I would if I saw sorry all right do it a little time and a little energy and you'll find a round work that people give a little time and a little energy back to you and you'll give a little more time and a little more energy you go for a coffee with someone then you go forth to our coffee then you go for a coffee and a lunch then you go for a lunch and a dinner then you go for a dinner in a movie and then you sleep over and then you sleep over two nights and then you go on holiday together and eventually you get married right it's slow it takes time and we can't rush it you know if when we rush it it's all fake do things for others and watch watch how much others do for you but you know go you go get yourself a cup of coffee from the coffee chute machine in the morning make one for someone else it takes a little extra time it takes a little extra energy that's the point that's the point and here's the best part you will feel so good at the end of the day so good thank you very much thank you

Channel: Inspiritory

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Id: F-RhaNlXBNg

Length: 11min 27sec (687 seconds)

Published: Fri Sep 15 2017