Chloe look at the camera. Good girl! Say,
hello brains! Hello brains! Hello Brains! I'll be doing something a little different, putting out a few videos over the next couple months. Give you an insight into a journey that I've decided to take. and that journey is training Chloe up to be a psychiatric service dog. Before I get into the vlog, I wanted to
clarify that even though I will be going to public places to train Chloe, COVID-19
is still a thing we're still in the middle of a pandemic, and so I
wanted to make sure that I'm also educating myself and you about
COVID-19 so that we can better protect ourselves, the people we care about, and
hopefully lessen the burden on healthcare workers
and their families as well. So a few quick facts right now. The rate
of COVID-19 is still increasing, so the pandemic isn't
over it's actually getting worse. Not everyone who gets COVID-19 is
symptomatic, but those who aren't symptomatic can still spread it, which is
why it's important to wear a mask in public places,
even if you don't feel sick. I have some sensory sensitivities and it actually
took me a few tries to find a mask I could tolerate, and some people with
strong sensory sensitivities or other challenges might have a hard time wearing one at all, but according to research even 80%
of people wearing a mask would make a huge difference. And according to the CDC,
the coronavirus pandemic could be under control in four to eight
weeks if everyone wore a mask starting now. I personally wear a mask every time
I go outside because I really want this pandemic to be over
already, and so you're going to be seeing me in these vlogs
a lot from like here up. Speaking of which, back to the vlog. If you don't know Chloe, this is Chloe. [KISS NOISES] Chloe's already an emotional support
animal for me which just means that I have a mental health condition and am benefited by having a dog around.
Hi! Are you a licker? So she can fly with me on planes if I
have the paperwork, she can also live with me even if I
happen to live in an apartment building that didn't normally accept
dogs. On top of that I've taught her some skills to help me.
Chloe, are you bored? Oh my gosh look at that face. Head down.
Yes good job! Chloe's part chihuahua so when she was a puppy,
I wasn't sure if her ears were gonna be chihuahua-e
or if they were gonna stay floppy. Chloe! They stayed floppy. Look at the floppy! Every room that I go into she follows me. She'll lay down on me, She'll
lay with me while I work, and she's a really calming presence.
Chloe's sleeping right now. Oh no she's not. She's hanging out with me while I work. There's such a thing as psychiatric
service dogs, and I think it would be really helpful to
train her specifically to help me with my ADHD.
It's something I've wanted to look into for a while. She is so incredibly beneficial to me, and there are definitely times where my
ADHD, or my anxiety, gets really bad and it would be really nice
to be able to have her with me to support me,
but she's not a service dog even though she does help me.
Are you trying to tell me to meditate? Chloe, are you trying to suggest that might
be a good idea tonight? Okay, let's do this. Come on.
There's a big difference and that difference is a lot of training.
Head down. Good girl. So Chloe as an emotional support animal can't come with me to like hotels, she
really she can't come with me in stores, basically places
that wouldn't allow dogs except for airplanes and apartment
buildings, because she's not trained to perform specific tasks to help my
psychiatric condition. She's not trained to be in public.
Did you want the treats? You gotta work for it.
What do you know how to do, huh Chloe? Sit! Good job. No, sit! And so I'm going to be looking for trainers. It's a huge commitment. It's
a lot of training. It's going to be expensive, but I'm going
to try it because I think it would be really valuable
to see what kind of response I get from trainers and from people who see me training her as a service dog, when I have this condition that's not generally seen by society as
all that bad, even though there have been many situations in my life where it's
been incredibly debilitating. Society doesn't really take it that seriously
and so even I feel weird about the idea of
having a service dog, because that means I have a disability.
And even though technically I do, it's still weird to
think about it that way. Sit! You seriously forget how to sit?
Chloe, sit! Good sit! Good sit. So yeah she's a little rusty
and we've clearly got a lot to learn. Outside? Wanna go for a walk? Let's go
for a walk. Come on! Chloe, wait... break!
Good girl. There's a dog
[CHLOE BARKS]
Leave it! Thank you, good leave it. That's one of the things I'm a little
nervous about is she is a little reactive. She was really well socialized when she was a puppy, I took her everywhere and
introduced her to everybody. I basically played puppy bingo-
you know, have we have we met somebody in a uniform on a Segway? Have
we met an old person with a walker? Have we met somebody with glasses? Have we met people of different ethnicities and and wearing different uniforms? For a
while she was really good but now I think because we've lapsed with
her training she is kind of reactive so it's something I'm worried about. Does
she even have the temperament to be a service dog at this point,
and I don't know. We'll find out.
Chloe! Chloe watch me...
Yeah she needs a lot of training still Chloe! Come! No that does not come. Yeah, I'm really frustrated with myself right now.
My brother who was diagnosed with ADHD and Autism has a service dog. He's had a couple of them actually, and they've been incredible for him. My whole life I basically saw my
brother's struggles as, "That's more deserving of support"
and I'm trying to actively work against that and say that, "Even if my struggles look different from somebody else's, they're there
and they're also deserving of support". I feel guilty
even considering doing this. Because like a lot of things that I've
done to support my ADHD, including medication,
there's this sense of like I shouldn't need it. [CRYING] I got some really hard news today which
was that, my mom died unexpectedly and I'm processing and I'm doing okay, and
then I'm in tears, and then I'm okay again... Come here. Come here Chloe. I know. I need you. Just stay with me, I
need you... And then I'm distracting myself with
logistics and figuring out when- when I'm gonna fly down and when my
sister should fly down and this day just took a really unexpected
turn. so I will I will be in LA.
As soon as I can get a ticket I'll be in LA for the next few weeks.
I have no idea what I'll use this for if I'll use it, but I just-
this was the only time I'd be able to say I got the news today that my mom is gone. It doesn't really make sense to my brain
yet... My boyfriend and I had this plan that when COVID was over,
when things had died down a little bit, we would go down and visit my mom
and introduce him to her in person and so there's a part of my brain that
keeps getting excited about this trip because I think we're going down to
meet my mom because that was the plan. And I'm coming to terms with that,
but now my sister sent me a form that I have to sign...
This form is to provide consent for cremation. And I know that's what my mom wanted, it's what we did for my dad,
but there's just something about signing a form that says you can take my mom and-
and turn her into ashes... It doesn't make sense to me. JESSICA: I don't want to read it. Just tell me where to sign-
my sister said just anywhere she signed I have to sign. RAFF: okay hold on. That's my mom like why- [CRYING] It doesn't make sense... It doesn't make
sense. JESSICA: Okay... [CRYING] I've been running around all day taking
care of logistics, and grieving, and logistics, and grieving, and
I didn't realize how late it was but Chloe reminded me!
It's about 7:30 and, uh, Chloe doesn't care what's going on!
Chloe doesn't care that my mom is gone or that I have to make
arrangements or get everything ready so that we can get on a plane tomorrow.
Chloe wants to go for a walk. And that's gonna be good for me because all
I want to do right now is sit on the couch and curl up and watch television,
and like, maybe eat some ice cream... but I know that going for a walk will help
me feel better so- Chloe is... keeping me on my routine.
It's one thing she does. So, let's go for a walk.
All right, ready? Let's do this. Me taking my medication helps me and it
doesn't hurt anybody else, and I think the same is true here.
If Chloe is trained to do things that support my mental health,
if she's trained to do things to help me with my ADHD, that doesn't hurt anybody and it would be really helpful to me,
but there's still that barrier of like, are people gonna take me seriously?
You know, our trainer's just going to laugh at me? When I call them am I going to be told flat out that I'm wrong for doing this, either by trainers or by people who are watching
these vlogs on the internet? I really don't know. What I do know is this:
if I want to work on her training, and teach her things that support my mental health, that doesn't hurt anybody.
And I think it would really help me. So I'm going to give it a shot. [OUTRO MUSIC] you
