Should I Give Up Or Fight For My Marriage?

your marriage is in trouble I'm so very sorry for your pain I know it hurts I've been there those who haven't been through this don't understand the deep ache you feel when the person you love doesn't seem to love you or the deep agony you feel when they tell you that they don't love you or the torture in your soul when they tell you they love someone else they don't grasp the sense of utter helplessness you feel when there isn't another person and you no matter how hard you try can't figure out what the true problem is why your spouse wants to be somewhere other than with you and you don't know how to fix it and they don't realize how deep the misery is if you know that the reason that your mate wants out it's because of what you've done you can't undo it but you wish more than anything that you could and it rips into the very core of your heart people can't comprehend the sense of overwhelming frustration when you do everything you know how to do and things get no better actually they seem to get worse and worse if any of these describe how you feel I again said to you that I'm so very sorry that things are as they are I'm dr. Joe beam I know that pain I never want to feel it again just as you never want to go through anything like this again as long as you live so what do you do your marriage is in trouble but your spouse isn't willing to work it out well you can do what half the people in America do and give up quit divorce lecture make go do whatever it is that they think they want to do especially if they're saying things like well if you loved me you'd let me go of course you can let them go you can let the marriage end or you can edit yourself you can move on and the hope that you'll do better in your next marriage if you have an ex marriage or you can fight you can be one of the strong who doesn't give up easily even though you're faced with a tough situation a part of you just wanting peace wanting this to be over to feel good inside again tired of being hurt by your spouse who wants out for whatever reason or even because they think they want to be with someone else despite all this you can be the person who doesn't give up on this person that you've loved and still love you can be a person who will fight for your marriage now you're probably thinking fight fight how my marriage is in meltdown and then they doesn't want to be with me what do you mean fight why for what well I don't blame you for thinking that way we've worked with thousands of couples and in most of those there's at least one spouse asking why keep hurting when I can just end this and maybe find a path to healing if you decide to do that it is certainly your right as one who's been through it I understand that need to regain some kind of control over your life and the hope of finding a path to peace inside your head and your heart but quitting giving up is that really you or are you a person who reaches inside and find strength you didn't know you had when you need to face threats to your love and to this life with the person you're in love with are you tougher and stronger than people around you realize a person who loves so deeply that you won't let your family in without a fight but even in your hurt and sometimes feelings of hopelessness you're determined to seek hope as long as hope can be found if that's you the warrior who doesn't give up whose love is so strong that you won't let it be taken from you they know that no matter how hopeless it seems there is hope real hope yes even if your spouse is telling you that there's no hope that if you love them you let them go or if your makes being so mean to you that you won who this person is and what happened to the person that you love now this may sound absurd but right now isn't the time to take advice from your spouse a person who wants out may feel strong emotions say and do mean things but that doesn't mean they'll be like this forever if the person you love is still in there somewhere there is a way to rescue them and restore the marriage no I don't know there are a lot of people out there who will tell you that your mate will never change and that you should give up get rid of this jerk who's hurting you so badly that you're worth more than this and that you don't deserve this well with that part I wholeheartedly agree you are worth more than this and you don't deserve this kind of pain but remember that most people who urge you to give up to end the marriage give that kind of advice because they love you and they can't stand to see you hurt their manager made for causing your pain they aren't bad people they do love you but their advice can be very bad because it's focused on relieving your hurt right now not on what the future could be or maybe some people urge you to end it because they've been through some pain of their own and now they're projecting their emotions onto your situation wanting you to hurt the person hurting you so that in some weird way they feel a sort of satisfaction because they still want to hurt the person who hurt them no I'm not attacking them I'm saying that if you are a fighter if you aren't a quitter then no matter how much they love you no matter how forcefully they push their advice on you no matter how much they encourage you to end your marriage don't let them sway you from doing what is important to you he fighting for your marriage is what you feel inside is the right thing to do even if you're worried that the marriage might not work out in the long run then be true to yourself true to who you are and fight if you do fight be careful who you take advice from I mean the world's full of people even people you don't know who want to give you advice about just what you should do to fix your marriage but the best majority of them don't have a clue and they're misguided advice no matter how well-meaning may destroy your marriage rather than save it and our experience with thousands we've discovered that sometimes it's even your marriage counselor who tells you to give up well while your therapist may be right please know that in our work with marriages in crisis we've witnessed hundreds of couples working things out after they stopped seeing the counselor who suggested they divorce that's frustrating isn't it people close to you telling you to end the marriage to let it go other people even strangers telling you just what to do to save your marriage but giving you advice that if you followed it would be like walking off of a cliff please hear this if you are a fighter for what's important to you there is help good help powerful help effective help for 25 years we've had amazing success helping people in marriage crisis most often with couples where one spouse wants to save the marriage because of their love because of what they believe and because of who they are while the other spouse wants out we're used to the scenario we not only know this pain we understand it and we've had the privilege of helping thousands figure a way past this marital mess and to find a path to being in love with each other again yes even those who said they were not in love with their spouses any longer and even those who wanted out because they felt they were deeply in love with someone else no no we don't do magic also we don't do the work to save your marriage you do the work we can't do it for you but just as we've done for thousands we will guide you through a proven process that as we say if anything works this will it's your choice give up or stand up let your marriage in or fight for it if you choose to fight we'll stand alongside you and help in every way we can oh I won't lie to you and guarantee success but over the decades that we've been working with marriages in trouble three out of four of those couples work through their situations and make the marriage is good again yes even couples where one wants to salvage the marriage and the other doesn't now when you called you'll talk to 1 of our client representatives who will guide you to which of our resources would be best for you it's not a hotline they aren't counselors they listen to understand your problem and then they direct you to the right help and they care junior when they care if you're a fighter call us now [Music] you

Channel: Marriage Helper

Views: 202,140

Keywords: love, hate, marriage, divorce, limerence, the valley, dr joe beam, beam foundation, spark your marriage, hope, help, counseling, coaching, children, attorney, effects, should i fight for my marriage, my husband wants a divorce, my wife wants a divorce, should i give up, should we stay together, marriage counseling, should we get a divorce, how to save my marrige, save my marriage, marriage helper, smart contact, push behaviors

Id: AYcUu5Wtnt0

Length: 9min 54sec (594 seconds)

Published: Thu Mar 14 2019