Sex Education: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO)

sex education the conversation that animals in zoos refuse to let you not have now with some kids going back to school next week it is guaranteed that at some point over the next school year you'll hear stories like this local parents are outraged tonight over the pictures that their children saw in sex ed class some parents say that the material which includes descriptions of sex acts and infections is simply too graphic for middle schoolers a father is upset after his 13 year old showed him a poster hanging on a classroom door a poster listing sex acts parental anger over sex ed is as much a staple of the school year as square pizza and one kid coming back from summer vacation with a mustache he's way too proud of that that's a ghost mustache louis it looks like a real mustache died on your face so so we tried this week to find out what sex ed looks like in america right now but that turns out to be a surprisingly difficult question to answer now in the past depending on how old you are sex education may have been little more than watching films like this every so often i get a strong sex urge and the only way i can take care of it is to masturbate george i'm really pleased that you can tell me about this perhaps it's because we've known each other for so long my name is johnny stent for me it all started when i went bowling with judy today i should have known something was different as soon as she got a strike [Music] she's usually such a rotten bowler so what's so different about you i got my first period today what's the big deal it means that blood is flowing out of my uterus what what okay okay okay first that is some incredible misinformation menstrual blood is not some sort of uterine hgh that makes you amazing at bowling and and second and this is true the young man in that that video is jonathan banks mike from breaking bad and if that video if that video does not provide the basis for the prequel to better call seoul i'm going to be extremely disappointed teaching sex ad in schools is really important for obvious reasons no parent wants to talk to their kids about sex and no kid wants to talk about sex with their parents that is why when you're watching a movie together and there's a sex scene everyone becomes motionless and silently begs for the merciful release of death and kids have good questions that need good answers the times recently ran an article with a slideshow of questions kids wrote on on cards to a sex educator including why is the boy's penis shaped like an arrow is it okay to be gay and how long do i have to wait to have sex i'm excited to which to which the answers are it's engaged with blood yes and can you at least wait until the end of class but perhaps the most poignant question was will this go well for me because after looking into sex ed programs this week the answer depends quite a bit on where you live there is no required standard for sex ed in this country in fact only 22 states mandate that kids receive it and only 13 require that the information presented be medically accurate which is crazy you wouldn't accept a history class not being historically accurate prince started the american revolution in 1984 and his purple reign lasts until the present day class dismissed we essentially have a weird patchwork system that varies wildly and not just from state to state but from district to district and even from school to school in fact one ohio newscast tried to find out what kids in their area were learning and hit a brick wall the state has no absolutely none sex ed guidelines so each school district decides what's best for whatever kid many school districts don't want to talk about it at all you see students polled every school district in four southwest ohio counties the majority wouldn't tell us what they teach and when they teach it even though all this is supposed to be public information and that's really not good because two teenagers shouldn't have completely different levels of sex ed just because they're in two different school districts at tonight's football game is between lakewood high and middletown high not only are they bitter rivals one of those teams has no idea what a diaphragm is let's play ball let's play ball but but while it is hard to find out what kids are learning in some cases it is possible to find out what they are not learning for instance in mississippi while you can talk about contraceptives the law prohibits condom demonstrations in class that means no condom on a banana no condom on a cucumber no condom on a zucchini and that's terrible partly because it's fun putting condoms on produce but mainly because mississippi ranks number two in the country in teen pregnancy rates now thankfully this situation has inspired some creative alternatives watch this former teacher describe how to use a condom without directly using a condom i start with a sock and i want to pinch out the air out of the tip of the side because i want to make sure that there's room for my toes when i'm engaging in shoe activity then i take the sock and i put it on top of my foot you want to take your sock and you want to roll it all the way down your foot you want to roll it all the way down your foot and then you can put it inside your shoe that is very clever that's very clever although although that's it's not perfect you know if you can't get a sock out of the packaging you don't then lose your foot for a minute and need to think of rihanna to get it back but it's back but uh but mississippi's restrictions are just the beginning here in eight states there are laws considerably limiting what teachers can say about homosexuality to their students meaning the answer to that kid's question is it okay to be gay could be a shrug or a lot worse and utah's law prohibits any instruction in the intricacies of intercourse for reasons that one state legislator explained those are the things we do not want to be taught in our schools those are things that should be taught in your home wait taught in your home here is an exchange that has never happened how are you so good at sex i was homeschooled and and in certain districts around the country the only sex ed you might receive is abstinence only which you may think of as a relic of the past but it is still very much around congress recently increased federal funding for abstinence-only education from about from about 50 to 75 million dollars per year and at least part of that money gets matched by the states which means that students are still being exposed to abstinence-centered programs but with names like weight which stands for why am i tempted go ape or abstinence protects everyone and no screwing around which i presume stands for no one should copy like regularly except when did individuals now reach around occasionally ultimately not disastrous and and here is here is a taste of a video from that last program if you have sex outside of one permanent monogamous and monogamy does not mean one at a time that means one partner who has only been with you you have sex outside of that context and you will pay boys if there's a girl throwing herself at you if she's the one pressuring you for sex if this is a girl that's dressing in that manner that's saying not only to you but the rest of the world take me now i got a little word of advice for you run from this girl run i did not say walk away slowly i said run from her in fact don't even bother running boys just cut your dicks off girls are snake charmers and it's time to murder your snakes murder them now do it do it and look abstinence is a healthy choice that many teens will make either by choice or as i can attest by circumstance but but but that's not the point that's not the point it should not be the only thing you teach and not just because many studies question its efficacy the fact is according to the cdc most americans have more than one sexual partner in their lifetime and the average age at which people begin having sex is around 17 so just saying don't do it is not practical and even when they do teach sex ed schools can teach it with a strong bias we found a company which offers schools two versions of the same video on contraception version b is labeled as being non-judgmental take a look look no one ever said being a teenager is easy you have to face a lot of important decisions but no decision is probably more important than the one you'll make about becoming sexually active some of you may already be sexually active but still a lot of you are not having sex yet you could be waiting for marriage the right person or maybe you're just not ready to take on this very serious responsibility right now cool folks those um those 30 year old actors dressed like teenagers from the 90s make some very good points however however version a which is non-non-judgmental goes in a slightly different direction see if you can spot it one ever said being a teenager is easy you have to face a lot of important decisions but no decision is probably more important than the one you'll make about becoming sexually active as a teenager you're expected to wait until you're married before you become sexually active until then abstinence is the only option that's acceptable to your family your school and your community well hold on why did they even keep the first part about it being a decision at all but they should have just said no decision is more non-existent than the one you don't get to make about sex also remember god is watching you masturbate and the fluids coming out of your genitals are actually his you're tears him sad but but the very fact two videos with the same title but very different messages exist shows just how hard it can be to find out what's going on with sex ed where you live and this is not even accounting for guest speakers that schools can bring in to augment their program remember the woman from no screwing around that's pam stenzel and her website claims she speaks to half a million young people each year presumably like this here's the line over which you can't step absolutely no genital contact of any kind that's hand to genital mouth to genital genital to genitals oral sex which is mouth to genital is sex and if you have ever stepped over this line you've risked disease and you need to get tested and don't you dare don't you dare tell anyone you're a virgin why why are you trying to yell the horniness out of teenagers crow programs like hers are so relentlessly anti-sex you could easily come away thinking the adult world is just an endless barrage of unwanted dicks which incidentally was the original slogan for tinder but but but the problem is the problem is stanza is not alone shelley donahue currently speaks at schools around the country she likes to show the dangers of more than one sexual partner by describing women as a piece of tape and then sticking the tape to the arms of multiple boys until this happens how many partners do we have before we get married on average in america six yeah so can you imagine what's going to start to happen to the tape it's going to lose its bonding power her point is the tape is used so much it becomes damaged which doesn't even consider the possibility that the tape might be perfectly happy and have had a good time or that maybe some guys like tape that already knows how to stick when they meet them but but this idea that sex is something which devalues those who've had it particularly women crops up again and again non-virgins can be likened to a used toothbrush or a chewed up piece of gum and then there is this video in which a non-virgin on her wedding night is compared to a dirty shoe oh what are these my sneakers michelle what is this it looks like the entire football team has been in these things i mean i need them all wear socks socks but you help socks don't protect my heart you can still get foot fungus with socks i wish i could go back in time and make a commitment to be abstinent until marriage that is heartbreaking and not just because he's shaming his wife but because michelle socks don't protect my heart might be the funniest line ever delivered on this show and we didn't write it and that that kind of message can be hugely damaging to anyone who hears it especially survivors of sexual assault like elizabeth smart who was kidnapped and assaulted at the age of 14 and you may recognize one of the metaphors she remembers one of her teachers using she said imagine you're a stick of gum and when you engage in sex that's like that's like getting chewed and then if you do that lots of times you're going to become an old piece of gum and who's going to want you after that well that's terrible but nobody should ever say that but for me i thought oh my gosh i'm that chewed up piece of gum learning nothing would have been better than learning that it's not a great reflection on her teacher that kids who were sick that day got a better education than she did and the sad thing is sex ed when done well can do so much good but when it's done badly it can do real harm take consent a recent survey found college students were confused about certain aspects of it for instance when asked whether another person undressing getting a condom or nodding established consent for more sexual activity at least 40 percent said yes and at least 40 percent said no and that ambiguity is a problem because sex is like boxing if both people didn't fully agree to participate one of them is committing a crime and abstinence-heavy messages do not help this they spend so much time on the importance of saying no they can leave out what informed enthusiastic consent looks like or even worse suggests that it's all one party's responsibility like in this video from a program called sex smart about fending off unwanted advances maybe we should have sex you know to prove our love for each other do you really think we're ready yeah i'm ready oops that didn't work for each other no does that mean no or yes one more try this time say it like you mean it for each other no way finally maybe we should just get to the concert wait wait they were already late for a concert but he felt there was still time to have sex that is a teenage boy with a very accurate sense of his abilities but but much much more to the point here much more to the point it's good that that girl was being taught that she has the power to say no but nowhere in the video do they point out that that guy should have been a lot better at hearing it and it is weird to gloss over something so appalling it's like that moment in greece when kaniki sang tell me more tell me more did she put up a fight that's the point they should have stopped the whole song and gone wait what what the did you just say what is wrong with you kenickie what is right you're a monster and you look 40. and when kids graduate high school without a full understanding of consent you are a betting and already troubling culture where a bunch of frat guys can march around yale feeling completely comfortable yelling [Music] [Applause] just a quick reminder there yale's acceptance rate is 6.3 percent so who the are they turning down i would hate to hear their chance and the problem is that is not an isolated incident last year fraternities at both texas tech and lsu were caught using the same slogan it's become something you hear on college campuses as often as i'm thinking of switching majors or why is james franco here and here is the thing there is no way we'd allow any other academic program to consistently fail to prepare students for life after school and human sexuality unlike calculus is something you actually need to know about for the rest of your life and maybe you and your family live somewhere that has good sex ed in which case congratulations but if you don't this video is for you look no one ever said being a teenager is easy you have to face a lot of important decisions but no decision is probably more important than the one you'll make about becoming sexually active and if you do there's a few things you should definitely know this is a penis this is a vagina this is a mouth this is a hand and this is a butt you can mix as many of these as you feel comfortable with hand and mouth would be weird but you could this is the clitoris and these are the testicles they make sperm that's pretty much it [Music] if you want to be abstinent that's fine if you don't want to be abstinent that's also fine abstinence is like being a vegetarian people should respect your choice some people might make fun of you those people are the best safeguard against stds is protection unless you already have an std in which case you're gonna need medicine or some fun fact the ancient egyptians put crocodile dung mixed with honey inside a vagina to prevent pregnancy they're all dead now here's how you put a condom on a banana oh this is a lot less curvy than i'm used to this is an iud an iud goes inside a woman's body and prevents pregnancy from taking place they can stay inside you for up to 10 years which is a lot considering most guys in high school can only stay inside you for a minute or two tops all right here's a bunch of other forms of birth control google them this is actually simple if someone doesn't want to have sex with you don't have sex with them if you think you might be able to persuade someone to have sex even though they don't want to don't so if you're not sure if someone wants to have sex with you ask even if you're kind of sure still ask if someone is pretty drunk they might not be able to give consent and remember you can always say no even halfway through you can say no if someone wants you to do a sex thing you're not comfortable with you have the right to refuse say i don't care if it's your birthday rebecca i don't want you to put your finger in my butt okay tell me this was talking about this real quick couple final things most people will get hpv is both technically true and what you tend to hear right before someone gives you hpv if you call it a hoo-ha you are not ready for sex lube is your friend believe me if you get a chance to have sex with this man go for it the best safe word is poot nanny a woman who's had sex is not like a dirty shoe a woman who's had sex is like a a shoe with laces completely normal and finally this is important if anyone ever tells you that getting your period makes you better at bowling [Applause] you

Channel: LastWeekTonight

Views: 21,868,912

Keywords: HBO (TV Network), John Oliver (TV Writer), Last Week Tonight With John Oliver (TV Program), sex ed, sex education

Id: L0jQz6jqQS0

Length: 21min 5sec (1265 seconds)

Published: Sun Aug 09 2015

Reddit Comments

[u/SarcasticSarcophagus]

For those looking for the sock activity video

[u/TheLiberalLover]

As a person who has gone through one of those abstinence only programs, I can confirm that the video at the end of the video taught me more than three years of abstinence sex ed.

[u/octarino]

"I get paid a lot of money by colleges to come in and undo abstinence education in two hours."

• Dan Savage.

[u/nuisible]

When Megan Mullaly says "this is a lot less curvy than I'm used to" and it's just showing her husband, Nick Offerman nodding, I could not stop laughing.

[u/Iamafraidofseagulls]

I am going to wank to that woman shouting out of pure spite. Edit: 9 hours later it is done.

[u/Geordant]

Awaiting my good friends to provide a mirror.

[u/alffff]

European here. I don't think in our classes abstinence is even taught as a contraceptive.

[u/LikeASharkLovesBlood]

I had a catholic girlfriend tell me, after we had sex, that the nun at her grade school told her that "she was a flower and every time she had sex, she lost a petal."

It made me want to fucking cry for her. The idea had been internalized in her in a way she could never truly let go.

[u/proROKexpat]

I had the luxury of having a German mother and those of you with german mothers know they don't shy away from properly educating their kids about the human reproductive system. By the time I was 7 or 8 I pretty knew how sex worked, what sex was, etc (I hadn't had sex obviously) but I fairly well informed.

By the time I was 11 or 12 i had pretty much made the decision that abstinence sounded really fucking boring...at 13 I attended my first sex ed class

It went basically like this

"Don't have sex or your penis will fall off" at which point I thought "Well thats awfully fucking stupid, I mean I have limewire and I love downloading/wacking off to porn and I'm really going to enjoy fucking all the women that say yes"

Which is pretty much what I've done with my life, sex is fun.