Public Shaming: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO)

public shaming or as we call it in England parenting thanks for the Internet it has never been easier to pile onto a public shaming in fact it's now one of America's favorite pastimes in Wisconsin families photo shoots gone viral and now it's sparking some outrage online viral video leads to outrage on Long Island now the outrage over another viral video the outrage machine never seemed to rest as actress Sarah Michelle Gellar found out some people online are just looking for an excuse to be angry wait what did Sarah Michelle Gellar - I'm already so angry about it actually don't tell me I just realized I definitely don't care the point is this is a golden age of internet shaming you've probably participated in it if you've ever been mad at a potential Oscar host with shitty tweets a company who made a blackface shirt a beloved Irish actor who want to commit embraces murder and an aquarium that called an otter Thicke a gender-reveal party that started a wildfire whoever attacked justice Millette whoever didn't believe justice Millette and finally justice Millette we're basically goldfish except instead of discovering a new castle in our bowl every nine seconds we find something new to be outraged about online and you may be expecting me to say that all public shaming is bad but I don't actually think that when it's well directed a lot of good can come out of it if someone's caught doing something racist or a powerful person is behaving badly it can increase accountability in fact just this week it emerged that Tucker Carlson the answer to the question wanted to sound thud grew a face I've said some awful things on a radio show a few years prior to here tuck still it that meant he was unfairly caught up in public shaming the great American outrage machine is a remarkable thing one day you're having dinner with your family imagining everything is fine the next your phone is exploding with calls from reporters okay first of all no one having dinner with Tucker Carlson has ever imagined that everything was fine most people's answer to the question if you could have dinner with anyone living or dead is Tucker Carlson dead and if you look into why Tucker was caught in that outrage machine it's because he publicly called Iraqis semi-literate primitive monkeys compared women to dogs and basically said that Warren Jeffs who was serving a life sentence for the sexual assault of his underage Brides wasn't that bad now Tucker refused to apologize and all week long they've been trending hashtags like boycott Tucker Carlson and fire Tucker Carlson and Tucker Carlson Fox's Roomba but that one wasn't technically trending but I have this weird feeling that it will be in 20 minutes or so but Tucker is actually a good example of an Internet pylon being merited he's a public figure he made his comments publicly they are appalling and he's standing by them but clearly it's not always that simple because when misdirected Internet pylons can completely destroy people's lives so tonight let's try and talk about the power of public shaming because often it is not a famous figure who's on the receiving end of it on a seemingly daily basis ordinary people who did not ask for attention can't get sucked into the spotlight like this woman did a few years ago they're calling her the aunt from hell and the Antichrist an aunt filed suit against her 12 year old nephew she claims she broke her wrist when he jumped into her arms she sued her young nephew for 127 thousand dollars that's right 127 thousand dollars over a hug the aunt's defense was that when she goes to a cocktail party now she actually said this was it she finds it very difficult to hold the plate when the hors d'oeuvres are passed because of her wrist that sounds terrible although I will say this I know this isn't the point but everyone finds it very difficult to hold an hors d'oeuvre plate you have a plate in one hand a glass of wine in the other how do you eat do you grab food off the plate with your teeth like some kind of trained horse do you hold the wine in your armpit while you grab food with the other hand and then spend the rest of the night drinking armpit wine it's an unsolvable puzzle but it is pretty shitty to force a 12 year old boy to pay six figures for hugging you too enthusiastically which is of course what she didn't actually do that the real story is much more complicated very basically her health insurance did not cover all her massive medical bills so to cover her costs her best option was to go through her relatives homeowner's insurance but to do that she had to name a person in a lawsuit even though the kid and his family were completely fine with it and they would not be required to pay she actually went on The Today Show to explain all of this after the story blew up unfortunately it didn't seem to undo the damage maybe because even what she was discussing the actual facts the Today Show's graphics read worst aren't ever speaks out which doesn't really help does it meanwhile she was being relentlessly attacked all over the internet meaning anyone googling her in the future would likely be inundated by the inaccurate version of that story which as she will tell you became a real problem when she was looking for work it was very difficult to find another job people reached out and then canceled interviews or then said oh we've changed our direction I've taken had to take certain measures in order to reestablish myself and I have a refreshed identity that's a pretty drastic measure to have to take so to help her move past this if you do talk about the show tonight remember to tag it with the hashtag just a normal aunt hashtag aren't from not hell hashtag Tucker Carlson Fox is grown there was every reason for her to believe that refreshing her identity was necessary because fully two months after she went on TV to correct the record Fox News was having this discussion listen hashtag worst and ever but I will tell you that she did then come on to one of the media outlets and say that she needed she was injured obviously and wanted to sue the homeowners association but had to or homeowners insurance and had to name him as the party and felt bad about it by the way she fell because he was so excited to see her he stopped me Jen I love you I love you what are you doing there this is the worst aren't ever but in all seriousness she legally did the only thing that she could have done and feels quite remorse about it but the important thing here is she's the worst aunt ever and now I'm not saying those television personalities are all terrible people they just want to fill time more than they want to say things that are true but at some point it's incumbent on everyone to consider both context and consequences if you're going to pile on in a shaming and I'm not saying that anything here is easy for instance did I just publicly shame that lawyer in the last clip yeah I probably did and honestly I'm absolutely fine with that just as I'm fine with calling him a human popped collar who's every facial expression says I only wish greenbook had won more Oscars look let's be honest we make fun of people constantly on this show it's a comedy show although for what it is worth we do think probably more carefully than you might imagine about who we're making fun of why we're doing it and how we ask ourselves questions all the time like should we use their name how much power do they have and do they have a soul patch that last one could be a real deal breaker and I'm not saying that we're perfect at all you might disagree with choices that we've made but we have honestly thought about it and sometimes the decision does get difficult just look at another major scandal that broke this week concerning fraud in college admissions actresses Felicity Huffman and Lauri Lachlan among 33 wealthy parents accused of bribing coaches and administrators to get their kids into elite universities Lachlan and her husband Massimo Gianelli allegedly put up half a million dollars in exchange for getting their two daughters recruited to the USC crew team even though they did not participate in crew okay that is such a weird story I don't think anyone guess that the next big celebrity scandal would be aunts Becky from Full House allegedly spends half a million dollars so a guy will pretend her daughter's a good at boats and incidentally if that's all true worst aren't ever the truth is I've got no problem making fun of the parents accused of doing that or the guy who ran that service where it gets more complicated is with the kids how much is it fair to make fun of them well I would argue that one of them Olivia Jade is a public figure she has nearly one and a half million followers on Instagram and has worked with all these companies she's actively made money off her brand as a fun relatable college students releasing videos like this I don't know how much of school I'm gonna attend but I do want the experience of like gamedays partying I don't really care about school as you guys all know huh okay so even before what we learned this week that was a little tone deaf although not quite as tone death as this sponsored post that she made for Amazon in which she's decorated her dorm room at USC with the letters oj and if you don't see a connection between the letters oj and USC maybe it should cost half a million dollars to get you in there now I'm comfortable I'm comfortable making those jokes am i comfortable with the whole internet piling on her honestly that kind of depends on how and for how long if it's death threats and viral comments then of course not if it defines her forever that seems unfair the window for making fun of her is probably closing although I will say it should stay open just long enough for me to tell you one person went to her Sephora makeup product page and left a one-star review reading I thought this would give me the just came from true practice spend hours rolling on the leg bro turns out it was all a sham but gets back [Music] that is the difficult thing here when joining in a pylon there is a lot to take into account and when millions of people all feel the need to weigh in and do it potentially for years the punishment can be vastly disproportionate to the offense and perhaps the best example of this is Monica Lewinsky two decades ago this country put her through hell as she will be the first to tell you overnight I went from being a completely private figure to a publicly humiliated one worldwide I was patient zero of losing a personal reputation on a global scale almost instantaneously Wow that has to be terrifying although in fairness almost everything is scary when you add the phrase on a global scale if I said Karen's ophthalmologist says she's gonna need reading glasses on a global scale you would rightly think what the is going on with Karen's eyes but look she's not wrong and if you are hazy on the Monica Lewinsky story at 22 she and President Clinton began a relationship that very long story short ended up with graphic details being made public through the report by independent counsel Kenneth Starr and it is impossible to overstate just how globally famous Monica and private details of her life became the media obsessed over every angle of her story from tabloid stories like these to cartoons where microphones pointed at her face were replaced with penises - endless late-night comedy jokes look my hands are not clean here either I wasn't in the US at the time but ten years after the fact I was in a Daily Show piece marking the tenth anniversary of the scandal above a graphic reading ten sucking years which is gross it's gross and many comedians have since publicly expressed regret about things they said although one who hasn't and it was among the most relentless was Jay Leno see with Monica as President Clinton calls her my little humid or 1 million samples of DNA they said is the largest collection of DNA in the world not counting Monica Lewinsky's closets and humidity man I'll tell you people's clothes are stickier than Monica Lewinsky's met it was just like you can't get away with at least one of these Lewinsky back on her feet and the Grammy for Best organ recital went to Monica Lewinsky later those jokes have not dated well in any sense of the word and and they're pretty rough especially coming from a guy who just this week complained about late night TV saying he'd like to see a bit of civility come back you know like that time that he did a bit with a fake book about Lewinsky titled the in the Hat and if that's what he means by civility may I offer my new book oh the places you can go yourself Jay Leno and given all of that it's frankly a miracle that Lewinsky seems to have emerged with her sense of humor in tax because when someone recently tweeted I don't know who Monica Lewinsky is she replied I'm the chick from over 125 rap songs which is both very funny and also technically true because he's referenced in all these songs we actually found a hundred and ninety-three of them and that is and this may shock you significantly more rap songs than have mentioned me and to be honest that kinda feels like a personal sleight you know what an easy name to rhyme John I'll show you be gone Swan Louie Vuitton beef bourguignon lots of options there you know what also pretty tight rhyme wise Oliver I don't want just a piece of want Oliver hitting all the spots that got mixed like John Oliver almost nothing but the point isn't that I should be in more rap songs although I absolutely should Lewinsky went through absolute hell to get to the point where she could make that joke about being the woman from the rap songs and it can be easy to forget just how ferocious and devastating the public attention was I don't even know how to begin to describe what it was but it was to see my face on TV to to read my name in the newspaper people have no idea what when this is done what this is doing this behind the name Monica Lewinsky there's a person and there is a family there's so much pain that has been caused by all this and it is it was so destructive was so destructive that's horrifying and it's impossible to imagine how bad that was but for a second just try think of the dumbest thing you did when you were young not the dumbest thing you got caught doing the dumbest thing you did the thing you've stole or cheated on or accidentally sexted and again I am sorry mom now imagine hearing about that every single day for decades on end that's a little bit of what it was like to be Monica Lewinsky and I know everything about the subject of public shaming is complicated but Monica Lewinsky might actually be the perfect person to remind all of us what the consequences can be to a misdirected flood of public anger and the reason I know this is that I sat down with Monica earlier this week and this is what happened 21 years ago Monica Lewinsky was at the center of a media frenzy in recent years she's reimbursed as a major voice on online shaming and anti-bullying initiatives and she was kind enough to recently sit down with me in a fancy apartment that neither of us live in so in the last few years you've been doing a lot of work related to bullying and people being shamed is it a problem that you think has gotten worse absolutely I mean I think that with the advent of the internet and of course social media we now have situations where it's exacerbated beyond I think what anybody could have imagined initially and the anonymity that comes with that that that sort of unleashed these whole new personas for people it's if you've got if you have a chance to come up with a second persona you decide to come up with exactly how much of an can I be amplify every aspect of my personality by a hundred would you agree that somewhere on the spectrum of shame there can be positive effects - I'm just thinking of people who's bad behavior hurts others and who might not change that behavior without public and say yeah you know it's it's interesting I mean obviously I've spent a lot of time thinking about this and we tend to look at it as this kind of like a binary question right should we public shame we shouldn't wait I do think there's a spectrum of behavior on which we could kind of sort of judge as a society is this where shaming is effective to change social behavior or is it damaging you you were on the receiving end of one of the worst internet fueled public shaming of all time and hopefully in a way ever how the did you get through that yeah I I don't actually know you know I mean it was a shitstorm it was an avalanche of pain and humiliation and obviously a I could not have gotten through it without my family and eventually when I was allowed to talk to my friends my friends - and I think as a 24 years old it was you know really hard to hold on to a shred of dignity or self esteem when you know just the butt of so many jokes I'm being misunderstood right as that everything escalated all the all the reaction - what's it like to see this kind of character of yourself that has your face and name but what would bears less and less relevance to who you actually are sorry I mean it was just it was I say extraordinary not with any positive connotation and I think it was not only just the slut-shaming not only you know having had an intimate relationship with someone who is now describing me in a way it was like no young woman would want to be described there was just also my looks I mean night I you know was very about the touch-ups and the makeup because I like part of my vanity now comes from just the wound of having been made fun of for my wait for you know people saying I I was unattractive and it was terrifying not only because I was watching myself or this version of myself I running away from me I mean stolen my identity was stolen only a different way I would not to see that I wasn't flawed and you know that I didn't make terrible mistakes or do stupid things or say stupid things because of course they did well you know right so every 22 year-old is some version of an idiot you just lost a lot of you not whichever 22 year old is now I'm not you so it's so mean it's not it's not like I was this you know perfect angel right but I watched this sort of deconstruction of me and rebuilding of me it's like a transformer almost many many victims of public shaming say it affects their ability to earn a living did that happen to you Oh 150% I mean I couldn't I couldn't get a job I and that actually it was you know it was interesting because I went to graduate school in 2005 and graduated in 2006 then I thought oh okay now I will begin my life I will now put being Monica Lewinsky behind me and move on to be so-and-so's employee and when I couldn't find a job you know either somebody offered me a job for the wrong reasons like oh you'll be coming to our events that's your job and there's media there you know or people saying to me you know the opposite of well could you get a letter of indemnification from the Clintons like because we rely on government money and Hillary might be President so really I mean there was this wide range of not being able to support myself and also have a purpose which was which is equally important to feel that you you matter in some way is it is it tough sometimes just to get through it yes the people dying every year question no that's probably a fair response to basically most of the things here is it tough though sometimes just to get through a typical day without having to deal with this because the ubiquity of references to you is incredible it's insane I think you know in an in part a lotta that happened because of this you know sexist really thing that happened which is that the scandal was named after me became named over me so it meant then anytime that this has been referenced every single day every single day in the past 20 years so it may not be a direct reference to me but because the investigation and the scandal has my name I'm then therefore attached to it did you ever consider changing your name there were several reasons they didn't I mean first of all I don't think that it really would have even worked like when I was job hunting people even suggested you know why don't you put a different name on your CV when you're I thought so then I'm gonna walk into an office for an interview and and the person screaming like a person looks like Monica Lewinsky you know and be wondering and you're starting out a professional relationship on a lie so there's not that and then lastly I think it was also a principal in the sense that Bill Clinton didn't have to change his name nobody's ever asked him did he think he should change his name and so I think that that was an important that's an important statement you know I'm not proud of all of the choices I've made in my life but I'm I'm proud of the person I am I'm not ashamed of Who I am and I think that that is as hard as it has been to have that last name sometimes and the pain that I have felt of what it's meant for that other people in my family who have that last name I am glad I didn't change it I definitely don't have your courage or strength of character I don't know honestly I really believe you don't know that oh no I already have a mental list of fake names that's I'm going to do Alvin I like oh it's not a great name but I think I can count off you can you actually could really carry off Alvin Thank You Monica oh you think I could too I don't know about Alvin Oliver that's that's a lot that's true that's not great my second one was Jack's no surname no explanation just jacks I like that I could get behind that one so let's talk a bit about like laughing because you joke about your experiences how long did it take you to get to the point where you could do that I think there are stages you know or things that have happened a couple years ago a friend of mine had she and her friend had a 25th friend over Surrey party and they had met in the 90s so this party that they had for all their friends to celebrate their friendship started in the 90s meant everybody had to come dressed in is from the 90s I was like oh I just thought okay you know so for the first time in about 18 years I donned a black beret and went to my friend's party if it could you know in part because I thought it was pun was funny oh it's definitely funny right is that not a marker for actually having come a long way though that you're able to actively participate in humor connected to what you went through which again to reiterate was clearly anything yeah I like beret things I can laugh at other item of clothing jokes not as much what is your experience of the internet now because because you you're on Twitter now and you're very funny on thank you so how did you decide to go on it cuz like I guess some of the times that I get really deflated what do you tweet something funny and then making the mistake of scrolling down oh yeah it can become a sewer pretty fast yeah it can I mean I I get a lot of empowerment out of blocking people so I wish people would not say shitty things but they do sure and literally to me it's like when I block someone I'm like going oh really that's literally what it feels like for me is that I'm basically telling someone to off it feels great so I mean I wish they hadn't said something that would make me want to block them to begin with but blocking is unbelievably empowering I mean actually I I was lucky in some ways that social media wasn't around I think that would have made it worse in some ways and I don't have made it worse I know I do not maxed out it could be do you really think it could ago was I guess maybe you know I I don't I don't know so I mean it might have been worse in the sense that there certainly would have been a lot more opinions that were out there but where it may have been better would have been that I think I would have heard some support from people so it might have been a little more balanced so would it have been really meaningful to you at the time had social media being around just to have a stranger tweet something like I think what you're going through is complete yeah yeah it would absolutely because one of the things that happens with these kinds of experiences is that you just you start to disappear you start to feel like you don't matter and I think that when somebody sees you you know and just acknowledges your humanity in the smallest way it really can make a world of difference you don't know it could help save someone's life and they think that's important what would your advice be to someone who is either in the eye right now of the storm of public shaming or a kid who's being humiliated at school online is there anything that you'd be able to tell them from your personal experience that nobody else could the first thing I'd probably say is that you can get through it you can move past it I know it feels like in this one moment that your life will forever be defined by this but it won't and it may be hard it may take more time than you ever could have imagined but you can move past something like this Monica Lewinsky thank you so much for talking [Applause] [Laughter] [Applause] you

Channel: LastWeekTonight

Views: 15,423,365

Rating: 4.7591629 out of 5

Keywords:

Id: Yq7Eh6JTKIg

Length: 26min 45sec (1605 seconds)

Published: Sun Mar 17 2019

Reddit Comments

[u/cmentis]

There's some good background info that Oliver doesn't mention but I wish it did in some form. See the book "So You've Been Publicly Shamed", EDIT: see TED talk about the book(thanks /u/foozledaa) , and see Justin Sacco's story especially. EDIT 2: Monica Lewinsky's TED talk briefly referenced in this segment is also worth a watch.

Public Shaming gets really bad because there is a very low bar for what counts as being worthy of being shamed, not to mention the sheer misinformation and circlejerks that can occur.

[u/inksmudgedhands]

The scarlet letter in "public shaming" is a nice touch.

[u/peterdude67]

Witch hunts happen all the time on Reddit. There was this post not too long ago.

[u/losingcabinpressure]

Public Shaming, or as we call in England parenting

Asian parents say hi

[u/Sisiwakanamaru]

No one ever asks Bill Clinton if he thought about changing his name.

This is really powerful coming from Monica Lewinsky.

[u/rickspam]

Good to hear that she made it through. Cannot imagine how tough it can have been.

[u/Frankocean2]

How fucked up the insurance market is that you have to sue your nephew to get proper coverage due to a legal shit fest.

[u/jeajello]

Bill Clinton didn’t have to change his name why should I?

The fact that Monica Lewinsky is still alive to tell her story is amazing. I probably would’ve killed myself if I had to deal with the entire planet constantly mocking me for 20 years. I admire her confidence she’s a warrior.

[u/ADarkKnightRises]

Monica is a badass.