Sermon: Respectable Sins - Cohabitation

[Music] today we're gonna be talking about the sin this is gonna come out a little strange maybe to some of you but we're gonna talk about cohabitation we're gonna talk about the sin of cohabitation because we need to address that topic I believe it might interest you to know that back in the 1960s cohabitation was illegal in the United States and back in the 1960s there were about 400,000 couples who cohabitated illegally that means living together without marriage now today there's about seven point seven million couples who cohabitate in the country to where now cohabitation is legal and culturally is smiled upon so so what we're going to do today is we're going to dig in and we're gonna we're gonna try to figure out is is cohabitation a sin and I want I've got to point this out to you you have a choice see I'm just gonna be the messenger we all have the choice that's what I love about how God works in the lives of people you get to determine who your source of truth is going to be you get to determine if you are going to rely on the culture to provide your source of truth and culture to tell you what's acceptable and what's right or are you going to rely on the word of God to tell you what's acceptable and what's right your source of truth I believe that the Bible is the inspired Word of God it is his message to us today and when he speaks we need to listen and when he speaks if my life is not in order with what he's speaking through his word then I need to change too often we want to discount the scripture as either it's it's just too old-fashioned or we want to rewrite it so that our lifestyle can fit into it so we have to determine who's going to be our source of truth culture or the word of and my prayer for you is that the word of God becomes your source of truth as we look at this topic of cohabitation I'm going to take you back just a little bit because it's going to help you understand some of the scripture we're going to be looking at I want to take you back to Corinth a little little town in Greece I want you to notice the location of corn if you look right in the middle of that circle that's where Corinth said this is this is where all the action took place Corinth was New York City and I'll show you why when the Mariners or anyone who was traveling into the area of Greece or trying to travel around Greece they had two choices they could sail all the way around the country or they could go into Corinth and there was this I want to say it was about 20 miles and I may be wrong about that there but there was this 20 mile sort of canal the canal exists today but it didn't back then you would pour your ship and then they had this system of rollers where they would put your ship on rollers and you could just go across that little section and put back in the water instead of facing all the struggles of traveling around the country and so that City received a lot of people it received a lot of re people it received Mariners it received traders it received it received any any military that would travel by ship and so so Corinth became known as as a big city that was really a party city and you'll see that in just a second but they justified it through spirituality all right but they were they were a party city to be sure and and so everyone would would converge on on Corinth and and it was just it was mayhem listen I'm I'm a Navy brat my dad was a career military man he served in the military thus me being raised in Virginia Beach right next to Norfolk or dad was stationed most most of his life and so so I was raised around the the Navy around the military pretty much most of my growing up life and and I can vouch and any of you guys have been in you can vouch yep it gets kind of ornery at times yeah it just kind of does and so this this city fed that kind of mentality I want you to look at the next picture because in the in this city this is one of the ruins of the temple of the goddess Diana the goddess Diana she was a fertility goddess and and they would have worship services at the temple as a matter of fact at this temple they had a thousand male and female prostitutes who would every night converge on the city they would come down onto the city why because that's where all the Mariners and merchants and their I mean everybody was there and so they converged on the city peddling their wares as a sacrifice to the goddess Diana I mean it was it was they combined they combined their prostitution with religion and they came up with this crazy crazy act the worship services were crazy what was acceptable in their culture was absolutely absolutely unbelievable but it's what was acceptable in their culture at that time that was Corinth now the reason I point that out to you the reason I just wanted to tell you about Corinth for a minute is this I believe that if we didn't have if we didn't have the Bible I believe that if if God were going to send us the church a letter today about him and about how we're to live our lives as followers of Jesus I think he would take out the book of first Corinthians and send it to us I think he would send it to us because we share a lot in common with Corinth they they not only accepted sin it within the body of Christ but they flaunted sin within the body of Christ and and so that that's kind of the thing I want you to get as the background as we prepare to dig into the word and so now it's time to talk about cohabitation and I want to just say this at the very outset nowhere in the scripture does the Bible say that cohabitation is a sin all right as a matter of fact the words don't even the word doesn't even exist in the scripture cohabitation isn't a sin it's not a rebellion against God what becomes a sin or when it becomes sin is when cohabitation leads to the activity that most cohabitate errs participate in you got that I'd tell you to turn to your neighbor and say that but I don't think I can say it again so what I want to do and and and most of the scripture will come through that I want to talk about will come out of first Corinthians and that's why I brought Corinth up in this but before I do what I want I want to do kind of a quick sweep of the scripture now you're just gonna have to jot these down you're not gonna be able to turn in your Bibles real quick because I'm I'm not going to turn in mind I'm just gonna read them off the screen I just want you to see what the scripture says about sex outside of marriage okay I want to approach it from the scripture I'm not approaching it from the culture I'm not approaching it from the rationale of the culture God doesn't take a vote of the culture to determine what he thinks should be in here he says this is the way it is and I want you to see the way the scripture says it is will start in acts fifth 18:20 I'm just gonna read these off the screen instead we should write to them telling them to abstain from food polluted by idols from sexual immorality and from the meat of strangled animals and from blood go ahead to the next verse 1st Corinthians 6 13 you say food for the stomach and stomach for the food and God will destroy them both the body however is not meant for sexual immorality but for the Lord and the Lord for the body leave that verse up there just for a second okay food for the stomach and stomach for the food you see that in quotes up there Paul when he's writing this isn't quoting scripture he's quoting culture you say foods for the stomach the stomach's for food and so just eat and have at it now the reason he pulls that quote out is because they used that quote hey the foods for the foods for the stomach stomachs for the food so eat eaten and have at it they used that as their as their argument for look the body's made for sex sex is made for the body so have at it that's that's why he's bringing up sexual immorality in that framework go ahead next verse flee from sexual immorality all other sins a person commits are outside the body but whoever sins sexually sins against their own body 1st Corinthians 6:18 next one we should not commit sexual immorality as some of them did and then one day 23,000 of them died first Corinthians 10 8 we move on to second Corinthians I'm afraid that when I come again my god will humble me before you and I'll be grieved over many who have sinned earlier and have not repented of the impurity sexual sin and debauchery in which they have indulged that's out of second Corinthians next one in Galatians the acts of the flesh are obvious sexual immorality impurity and debauchery in Ephesians but among you there must not even be a hint of sexual immorality or of any kind of impurity or of greed because these are improper for God's holy people Ephesians 5 3 in Colossians Paul writes put to death therefore whatever belongs to your earthly nature sexual immorality impurity lust evil desires and greed which is idolatry in first Thessalonians Paul writes it's it is God's will that you should be sanctified that you should avoid sexual immorality and then in Jude this last one I'll give you in a similar way Sodom and Gomorrah and the surrounding towns gave themselves up to sexual immorality and perversion they serve as an example of those who suffer the punishment of eternal fire and so we we just do a quick sweep through the scripture and and without a doubt this isn't something that God only talks about or addresses once he addresses over and over and over again both in Old and New Testaments he'll he'll do that that sex outside of marriage is sin now with that said then when is it okay then when is it okay and and this may sound really simple to too many of you oh yeah I get this I get this but yet while it may sound simple it's still such a hard difficult thing for people to deal with it's it becomes a temptation that becomes hard for folks and so so I want to I want to start here marriage first thing I want you to know marriage is God's framework for sex marriage is God's framework for sex I want to start in Genesis chapter 2 by the way mins Bible study Bob's been taking us through Genesis and man it's good it's good Jim we're just working on Genesis 1 through 11 men if you got Saturday morning at 9 o'clock free yah to swing by it is a good study okay I'm gonna start reading verses 21 to 25 so the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep and while he was sleeping he took one of man's ribs and then closed up the place with flesh then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of man and he brought her to the man now leave that slide right there I want you to look at this if you have your highlighter you need to highlight this I want you to see hee hee then the Lord verse 22 then the Lord God made a woman from the rib that he had taken out of man and what did he do he brought her to the man you wonder where we get this idea in the wedding ceremony where the dad gives away the bride it comes from the scripture it comes from this first picture this first marriage of God making Eve see that's that's kind of how this is how I viewed it before until I came across this and took the time to read the verse instead of blowing by it I thought okay Adam lays down God Pop's a rib out creates a woman Adam wakes up laying there on the ground from a surgery laying on the ground and rolls over and goes whoa man woman okay and that's that was kind of how I pictured it that it was just it just happened in that framework but it didn't just happen in that framework actually when God took the rib then it's somehow he takes Eve away from Adam and then you have God bringing her to Adam to give her to Adam as his wife a beautiful picture of God personally involved in in all of his creation verse let's Eve 23 then the man said this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh she shall be called woman for she was taken out of man and that's why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife and they become one flesh in the word for one flesh there is that picture of intimacy between a husband and wife Adam and his wife were both naked and they felt no shame now I want to jump over to Matthew 19 we go over into the New Testament Matthew 19 we'll look at verses 4 & 5 Jesus is talking haven't you read he replied that at the beginning the creator made them may and female and he said for this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and the two will become one flesh there he uses exactly what what was being said over in Genesis chapter 2 as a matter of fact then Jesus would go on to say that so no longer are they - but there one there one through that okay then we go to Hebrews chapter 13 in Hebrews 13 we look at verse 4 where the writer says marriage should be honored by all and the marriage bed kept pure for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral so so the writer in Hebrews and this is probably Paul he's saying marriage needs to be held in honor by everyone keep the marriage bed pure and then there won't be any judgment in that first Corinthians chapter 7 verses 1 & 2 now for the matters you wrote about it's good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman but since sexual immorality is occurring each man should have sexual relations with his own wife and each woman with their own husband now before before I tell you hey Paul that's that's obvious dude that that's obvious but here's the thing remember who he's writing this to he's writing this to the Corinthian church and the Corinthian church is really struggling in this area the Corinthian church is I can understand them more than I can understand the Church of today because the Corinthian church this was the first church that ever existed in Corinth the first ever there had never been a church there before no one had heard about Jesus before and then all of a sudden Paul comes along and he's preaching Jesus and people respond to this the message of the resurrected Savior they respond to it and a church begins are you with me it's not like everybody drove to Corinth and went hey let's let's find a church to go to today there wasn't a church to go to today back in that time you had these new believers who were coming out of a culture that accepted practically anything as long as you felt like it was right and it was okay as an individual they accepted anything and so so Paul has to write these guys with some instruction to say wait a second you you can't do this because you're changed you're different the Holy Spirit has now come in you and now that he's living in you he is changing you and you're gonna be different than your culture oh yeah your culture is gonna have some influence on you but you're gonna be different through the power of the Spirit in you and so that's why he would have to write instruction that we go well that's obvious but it wasn't obvious to them and we look at this and go that's obvious but it's not obvious in our culture today we struggle this is one of those areas in which we struggle so marriage is God's framework for sex it's a second thing marriage in 1st Corinthians 7 which is where we're going to hang for just a few minutes marriage is Paul's instruction to those who can't wait marriage is Paul's instruction to those who can't wait and here's what he says in verses 8 and 9 now to the unmarried and to the widows I say it's good for them to stay unmarried as I do I'll talk about the reason for that in just a second it's good for them to stay unmarried as I do but if they can't control themselves they should marry for it's better to marry than to burn with passion and so he he brings up again this picture of marriage and he's saying that look for those for those of you who are widows or those of you who are single it's better if you stay that way now here's his reason let me let me help you understand this in this time persecution was severe severe people who would turn to Christ they would be ostracized by the Jewish community by the Romans they would be tortured and killed and so what Paul was doing he's understanding that in the culture they are killing Christians that the life of a Christian is really difficult and so it's better than if you're living in that culture and you're single or you're widowed it's better that you stay that way because he'll go on to say later because if you stay single then your mind and your heart is only concerned about the things that pertain to God so that if you're being persecuted because you're a follower of Jesus it only affects you but if you're married and persecution comes now it affects your wife and it affects your kids and and he'll go on to say and I'm trying to spare you I'm trying to spare you from that difficulty I I don't want you two to have to have to face persecution with all of that difficulty on all of those choices but if you can't control yourself which is the words he uses here then get married then get married and if you do you haven't sinned it's okay get married because it's better to marry than to burn with passion now I'll say this the third thing singleness is not for everyone singleness may be for some but singleness is not for everyone cuz in that culture and somehow in the church they started this this idea that if I if I remain single I'll be more holy than those who get married because I can control my passions and so that's that's how they viewed it that's how they viewed it and Paul would come along thank goodness and he would say singleness isn't for everybody it's an it's not for everyone and he brings that up in verses 36 to 38 where he says if anyone is worried that he might not be acting honorably toward the woman he's engaged to and if his passions are too strong and he feels he ought to marry he should do as he wants he is not sinning they should get married turn to your neighbor and say they should get married and they should get married yeah so next time you see some couple hunkered down in a corner over here and and and you go you want to say go get a room you need to say you don't need to say go get a room you need to say go get married just speak scripture to him they should get married and that's what he says but the man who has settled the matter in his own mind who is under no compulsion but has control over his own will and who has made up his mind not to marry the woman this man also does the right thing so then he who marries the woman does right but he who does not marry her does better and therein he's referring to the persecution setting that's going on there so he's saying it's not a it's not a sin to get married and it's not a sin to stay single that's okay and each one makes up their own mind as they desire that's that's okay so the problem the problem is that when when we become so overcome by our passions that we set the things that are wholly aside then we need to deal with the problem we need to and we'll see this in just a second we've got three suggestions for folks who may be dealing with this issue because I believe the scripture gives us three three suggestions really commands we find ourselves when when we allow ourselves to be overcome by our passions we find ourselves in the same war that Paul talks about in Romans 7 where he says look you know I have I have accepted Christ I'm paraphrasing Romans 7 here the Holy Spirit lives in my life and when the Holy Spirit came and lived in my life all of a sudden I find myself in a war I find myself doing the things that I know I shouldn't do and the things that I should do I don't do and he talks about this war that's going on and when it comes to dealing with with with our passions that war takes place in the life of an individual and so the question is how am I going to deal with it what am I going to do with this war that's waging inside and and before I give you these these three scriptures I want to say this to you you deal with the war by first acknowledging that you're in it you deal with the war by first acknowledging that you're in the war you can try to hide all this stuff from people but you can't hide this from God you who have come to faith in Christ we I know we're not gonna perfectly live our lives but just because we're not going to perfectly live our lives doesn't make our imperfections an excuse to go on and live the way we want to live we need to we need to come to the realization and confess to God this is an issue in my life and God I need you to help me through this I need you because this is my problem and and I believe that when when you confess to God and you seek the power of His Holy Spirit in any area of your life that he will work with you and in you to create you into more to be like Jesus someone who looks more like Jesus now as a new creation in Christ as someone who's been changed on the inside as someone who's been transformed as someone who's been called now a child of God these are the things that scripture would say to you regarding regarding specifically sexual sin number one don't put yourself in a tempting situation everybody got that don't put yourself in a tempting situation we'd all be better we would all be better if we would do that don't put yourself in a tempting situation go over to James chapter one here's what James is going to write verses 13 to 15 when tempted no one should say god is tempting me for God cannot be tempted by evil nor does he tempt anyone so God's not doing it all right but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed then after desire has conceived it gets it gives birth to sin and sin when it's full-grown gives birth to death and so James is going to say look if if you know your area of temptation and this happens to be your area of temptation then don't put yourself in a situation where you'll be tempted that way just don't do it yeah but but I just feel like I feel like any time I'm with us person you know I'm asking God not to not to let me be tempted but but he tempts me anyway and James goes no he doesn't tempt you God is not tempting you to do evil God is spurring you to do good he's spurring you to run from the evil and run towards him and so the only way that you're going to conquer whatever sin that drags you down the only way you're going to be able to conquer it is to not put yourself in that situation where temptation comes and each of each of us in this room and and each of you and sent him before if you're over there I can't let them off the hook they were feeling pretty good about themselves we all have those areas where we're tempted in in different ways the scripture would say we have many kinds of trials many kinds of temptations if we know what our temptations are then don't put yourself in that situation to be tempted just and that's exactly what James is saying second thing the second thing we're going to do is we're going to run first Corinthians six we're gonna run and in first Corinthians six just the first line of first Corinthians six flee from sexual immorality run from it flee from it some of you remember some of you may not know about this the story of Joseph in the scripture and Joseph has gone through a really difficult life a really difficult situation but he finally is delivered and in one instance finally delivered but then this gets him in trouble but he goes into the house of the master and he's working for the master and as he's working there the Masters wife looks at Joseph and she thinks Joseph's pretty hot and so she keeps enticing him she keeps enticing him to go to bed with her and he refuses over and over and over again he refuses her and she evidently wasn't used to being refused but she was being refused by this handsome Joseph and and so Joseph he he does what this scripture says to do run he took off running when she finally really made a pass at him and she just happened to grab on to a part of his cloak and tore it and has it and says says to to her husband Joseph tried to come in and and rape me and so Joseph running from the enticement actually ends up thrown into a trap and ends up thrown into jail because of it but we need to learn to be more like Joseph when those situations arise where we run from those things because we know that it leads to sin and sin is rebellion against God and then the third thing is over in Chapter 7 and verse 9 we've read this verse once but I'm going to read it again if they can't control themselves this is a 1st Corinthians 9 if they can't control themselves they should marry 4 it's better to marry than to burn with passion so this is what I want you to understand in Corinth the situation was so bad that that people were were just taking marriage and tossing it to the curb that there was nothing sacred about it and that hey foods for the stomach the stomachs for food sex is for the body the bodies for sex it's okay if it feels all right it's okay to do it and Paul in addressing that he basically looks at this culture and looks at Christians in this culture and who who has multiple partners who has multiple situations and he basically looks at them and says okay reach out and touch the person next to you okay that's your wife marry her that's basically what he does because he's saying it is better for you just to get married they should just go on and get married if you're a Christian and and and and so you if you're gonna honor Christ with your life then you're gonna honor Christ with your whole life and so I love I love that the scripture addresses practically every area about our life we don't like it though when the scripture addresses sex and sometimes you end up feeling like a coach talking to a health class you know when when you're when you're sharing this kind of stuff but but I've got to tell you that this isn't information just to go okay now we know now this is this is the scripture addressing a real problem and the problem of cohabitation in our culture isn't frowned upon it's actually applauded it's actually applauded because look you get to know the person better to see if you're compatible and then if you're compatible then then go ahead that's not what the scripture says the scripture says that you're to take your spouse and then you and your spouse become one flesh a unity to becoming one that's the picture that's God's instruction and and rather than looking at things as it's respectable I get that that's understandable we need to be able to call sin what sin is it's rebellion it's not rebellion against anybody except God and so it's in that framework then that we need to deal with that rebellion we pray we confess we repent of our sin which means to turn away from it not keep going in it but to turn away from it we turn away from it and we ask the Holy Spirit to empower us to fill us and to guide us in every area of our lives every area that's the scripture and now we choose who's our authority me the culture or God I want to follow God I don't perfectly do it but that's the desire of my heart my prayer is that's the desire of your heart as well okay let's pray together father I I want to thank you so much for your word and I thank you that you're going to the things that we don't really want to talk about much you're gonna address the secret things you're gonna address the things of the heart you're gonna address the things behind closed doors you address it and father I I pray that as you are real with us that we will be real with you that will be willing to admit and confess those areas that we know we struggle with and I'll pray God that that you would you would stir our hearts and move in us in such a way that that we're not willing to tolerate sin in our life I pray that you by your spirit will help us to be become people who trust what you say and who trust what you do so Lord forgive us for the times when we go chasing after our own desires forgive us for the times when when we know we're in the war and we we feel your spirit pulling us back but yet we we fight against it God forgive us strengthen us so that we can be people who are consistent in the way we live our lives for you I give you praise I give you honor for your patience your grace and your mercy and it's in the mighty name of Jesus I pray amen [Music]

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Id: THCF_Nu2g98

Length: 39min 47sec (2387 seconds)

Published: Thu Feb 15 2018