Series 1, Episode 3 'The poet and the egg.' | Full Episode | Taskmaster

[Music] [Applause] [Music] hello I'm Greg Davis and this is taskmaster like you I enjoy making people do the jobs I don't want to do especially when those people are famous comedians and the jobs are absolutely ludicrous so over the course of several months several top comedians have been doing some spectacular odd tasks for me they have no idea how each other did but they will soon find out let's see who they are he's recently been awarded an OBE we presume because this is going to be repeated realistically mr. Franks go he's got rosy cheeks curly hair had a very successful career it's Josh Widdicombe who has genuinely over 40,000 unread emails in her inbox because she is bad at certain aspects of life it's wrong chincana team he used to be happy vs we've been filming the show he's not anymore it's wrong in a firm voice over work but I think his face is fine it's chunky as always I will be assisted and encouraged by my assistant Alex please remind us of the first task okay the first task as always is the prize task each contestant has brought in one of their own personal possessions for the prize haul and this time you've asked them to bring in their most meaningful item Tim you get to pitch to me first hit me I brought in a piston chance to justified their decisions but I will say this I won the Edinburgh Comedy Award in 2009 necessarily translate into TV work to be fair it's only been six years anyway the point being when I did my show I was very proud of my show and it was kind of quite emotional things winner and on my show it was sort of scattered with all these sort of weird and wonderful props like fridges and so flat but couldn't really keep it we have the flat of my own so I got rid of everything from the show apart from my piston and so the piston is very important to me it means a lot to me and I'm putting it up into the prize gallery now I feel like a total change any words you look furious with me already a little encouraging tap on the nose I went and who wouldn't like that I went good luck everyone Boop - I'm actually mad what's that I have brought in something there's fairly meaningful to me it's my wedding ring just it is genuinely your wedding ring yes it's genuinely my wedding does your wife know she doesn't well all of these prizes are absolutely genuine and the winner of this show will take the prizes home so Ramesh could lose his own whether I am in like genuinely in deep trouble if that doesn't come home so am i if I turn up in it rushing what have you brought in that's meaningful I brought in a dictionary it's more meaning in that than it is rubbish ring and his fake piston oh dear oh she to be fair it's the present so far that I most want I'm sure one is wife will be delighted to hear to bring him in the mid-to-late 90s my father started writing a string of angry letters to the local newspaper which no publisher wanted to make into a book so he got it published himself oh no and he I blame the Beatles by Tom Widdecombe he thought the dictionary would be the most boring book and it is the only copy I've got which is a personalised book for my father have you read it you not read your own dad now I have read it I have read it and it's it's a real slice of life right now there's the quote for the back cover what's he to break Frank I brought in my small child's hobby horse this means a great deal to me because when I was a child I really really wanted a hobby horse they'd just been invented and my family could only afford to get me the stick to me means because I've got more money than than my dad had I'm able to give him something I didn't have and I actually had to sneak it out of the house to bring him because he plays with it every day so he'll be at home now going there's the sweet part of you that felt you you didn't have a proper hobby horse so you bought your someone but then you thought no why should he have one and you took it back off him and now you've got four in five chance of losing it you got to speculate to accumulate this time tomorrow he might be right around the garden on a piston in fifth place to be roasting Conti obviously fourth I'm gonna put Josh's dad's looking for you I know for a fact it's not that way right he won't speak to you she didn't radius walk third I'm gonna put the piston because it's a piston second for Frank and you know how can I deny someone who is actively trying to wreck his own marriage on television the winner of the first US tonight Romesh Ranganathan the moment there we go Ramesh sure in the leads fantastic and all the many surprises are up there if you were to gaze at the absolute cuff that these people could take home and they're in the box up there not necessarily meaningful to you but still you could always sell a wedding ring by a fridge okay what's our first proper test tonight [Music] slightly struggled with the door-handle s I wonder if that might be the task big penalty so this is a real boost to me right from a tea bag into a mug from the furthest distance you have exactly one hour your time starts now I reckon I'll be pretty good at this playing a lot of cricket in my youth it's the longest pot the house but how look into the moat I'm just thinking about length I'm not thinking about any accuracy I've grouped Ramesh Roshan and Frank together you wanna see how they did it oh god yes the key clearly is do you want wet tea bags dry teabags Robbie let's do this one tea bag let's just see well let's just see where I was an average wait I need to wet it why I put loads of tea cups around and just increase my chances that's the only I reckon that's the best way of doing it [Music] do you kidding me what's the first one in despair fire is the furthest distance meters priority three back into a monk yeah so it doesn't necessarily mean horizontally [Music] [Music] [Applause] my god the last batch of squares have got and then I'm gonna have to start tied them up like a chump and then use reusing again I didn't think I was gonna get to this point this time any of them I have to say when I picture the others I don't see them getting this kind of distance poets girls some will kept the first 45 minutes realizing it's better if they're wet let's realize I should probably wet them discover that make that realization click unbelievable so discover this I mean it's added so much to the distance is rendered everything we've done up to this point completely irrelevant there I'll just move my hand a little bit let's say it's in the mug [Applause] what may the worst thing about it was was I regret it but I thought God I wonder if anyone else has figured out about wetting the tea bags but I had done within 30 seconds within a heartbeat even even the person whose first question was what's the longest part of the house realized quickly that she got to wet it yeah that's not yeah I'm not proud of what happened what does the drama SH get was impressive eight and a half dogs I've measured it well if I've done a system of eight and a half dogs presuming a dog is a meter long so I'd enough meat did she do 2.4 dogs it was very accurate and it wasn't the best or second or third or fourth best Frank amazing structure presumably a good distance it was 10 10.04 can I just ask question where did he get the box from there was no box like that available when I was doing it it was definitely about there was no box mate the one telling me now there was no pot there was a box available you just haven't got box searching skills whether to work the tea bags do anything you to come up with the box I I didn't even have to touch someone when I said urinate almighty that's the lack of facilities I was given I don't know what kind of game you're running here but I'm not happy about that's a very impressive performance and so comforting to know that two of the three people know what a box looks like what sir there was no box made time for a quick break seemed ludicrously soon now where were we Frank is in the lead at the moment you ever look at Josh yeah let's have a look at Josh I would all your mug is a receptacle larger than a cup do you drink tea out of with a handle so if I was to drink tea out of this before the end of the hour to prove was a mug then I think I've got myself a mug handle like that so got two mugs there tea bag tapes your golf ball oh well it went in but it didn't stay in definitely still a mug yeah of course is when we share a cup of tea our it later on right yes is it still a mug yes if if it was to dispute with her as a mug I don't think he should disputes a mug but you've got to cover yourself against these things come on oh right tea to prove that it is a mug we're gonna have high tea from the mug I tell you I think it's a mug until I see you I'm gonna drink the tea [Music] I lovely cup British tea Thank You Josh thanks for the tea alright mate it's like a bloody B&Q warehouse when he's through balls and specialist mugs Construction Set I just said absolutely not it's unbelievable I couldn't believe how much stuff there was there those things are available to work may know they were how were fire - Josh throw the teabag first of all okay well the distance was 15 meters and 10 centimeters yeah is it in a mug that's up to you Josh it's your definition of a mug anything with a handle sellotape to it no my definition of a mug is someone that can't find a box okay here's my judgment before we even seek him I'm disqualifying you unbelieva but I'm not disqualifying you because a wheelbarrow is in the mug I'm just qualifying you because you put the milk in first Tim Keyes attempt well I'd like a like a catapult but the other thing I want is one of those things that you throw balls with if you're a dog owner and also sorry can I get a tennis ball so I worry I'm not going to be accurate over like the 50 meters so what I need to do in addition is build some kind of thing with a sheet which is like a you know like a cut funnel where if the ball hits I just have to hit the sheep and it will go into the cup [Music] [Music] hey you got sensible [Music] thank you yeah [Applause] is a new world record and it was 23 meters and 87 times we did it was the first row first this is an open-and-shut case the winner of the first TAS tonight mr. Tim key Alex you're in charge of the numbers because of your character what are the scores so it's exciting for me there is a three-way tie for the lead as you can see here there are three on eight Tim key frame Skinner and romich exercise task it's like Jazzercise with it's fine it's fine it's it [Music] using this device to track your route back device create the best image for taskmaster you have one hour your time starts when you take your first step pop a balloon to signal that you have finished your image what you're probably not the only person who's confused by this Alex just want to explain very clearly what this is about like while trying we gave the contestants a GPS tracking device so wherever they moved there would be a little line following them and spent my HS sketch but on a larger scale okay you know I see Josh first okay let's have a look at Josh this is a lot tougher than I thought it was gonna be right that white lines not straight judging by the satellite some of these have a word with their groundsmen [Music] you can't do much detail that's what I've learnt just slightly messed up I may have to go into that person's house but great art comes at cost I've always heard come on come on yes hey popping balloons absolutely incredible thank you do you know how I would deliver that to you via a wheelbarrow which we see next brush he knows he's slightly better so she chose to draw something that she thought you really liked oh maybe I'll draw a sausage it's not enough pictures of sausages returned I've made a model of a pregnant lady maybe that's what makes it tick it's like print it ladies it'd be hard push to criticize that I'm just thought of Tracey Emin in it go with how I feel see what happens making some shapes I'm back I decided it's a bunch of flowers it's finished I bet you've got Eddie somewhere this is yeah many so many times I could turn one drawing into another so it started off as a sausage then you changed to bacon pretty quickly the high point I think was the pregnant lady when you threw the pregnant lady with a tail that was not that will be bad then I tried to turn into an angel yeah you went for the Angel of the north but it and you're calling that a bunch of tulips you made just several errors there I said I'll turn it into a pregnant lady you know EP I'd push to criticize that and I'm one of the few people in the world who despises the pregnant community it's always going on about it Oh coming in here taking up more than your fair share space I hate to be the guy to break it to you but it's now time for the commercial break I'm so sorry [Music] nobody can quite believe that Ramesh just made his wedding ring available as a prize are you putting your testicles into the next show scripted joke I presume Tim K is a poet he'll have some more artistic skills it was Tim's was a sort of standout performance and I don't know if that's a good thing yet [Music] the other store [Music] [Music] [Music] it's very bad conditions for all [Applause] and the only question get it for the whole hour and he ran well over three miles it's a long painting boys it firstly can I just say that's the worst hour of my life secondly then I crossed it out and then I just I literally thought well I mean I've got half an hour I may as well go for a run Frank completed his picture in eight minutes just you know don't see it yes okay here's and Romish are groups together this is in signal low for the gulls there's a slight problem knock on the web hope to any doors I'll be honest today this is a lot more difficult than I thought it was gonna be that's alright I must graph to make the best of this [Music] and then but balloons aren't helping by the way this is a little tip this is just my rough draft only gonna framed it might crack that order on it yeah what is it it's actually my son's hobby horse I wish accurate self-portrait right on on this sure those oblongs your ears that was supposed to be the frame this isn't you in a cardboard box it's not funny you're celebrating the persecution of one of the members of the show it was meant to be a dig at the homeless to know if we can just take them and the pregnant people down this would be a better world right I mean it's a fatal mistake Ramesh it's a really good painting but why on earth do I want a picture of you it's absolutely preposterous maybe for them in reverse order obviously sausage girl is last that looks like a hobby horse that does like our behind and the Angel of the North and yours looks like a duck in a golf bag just to make it absolutely clear if you'd have told me that that was a drawing of a duck in a golf bag you'd be right at the top of the pile go forth Frank third Tim K have no idea what it is mate I was doing mine in a storm I should give you a bonus point for risking your life but I'm not going to Romesh I don't want that and I never want to see you again but I have to recognize it's actually a picture therefore I'm gonna put you in second place and I'll thank you to give me a smile yes yeah now the party started and the winner of that task of course the only artist in the group the wonderful mr. Josh Widdicombe wins with that okay quick check on the scores please Alex horn okay so the top three Romesh Ranganathan is in first place followed by Tim key then Frank Skinner [Applause] [Music] my money oh my word 20 pounds why the best present for the taskmaster here is 20 pounds you have 10 weeks your time startsnow exactly what to buy that go so it doesn't say I have to buy with the 20 pounds does it so it could be by the best present for the taskmaster as in like a jeep and then the his 20 pounds I want you to know now that if any of them have bought me a jeep they've definitely won yes let's go Tim yeah but if your lovely gift yeah sure but I worry that usually if you go first as the series's could be like the keys for jeep right it could be thin keys he's brought me some National Book tokens we guess 20 quid first 16 [Laughter] no way was that is that a for girls go oh yeah yeah thanks very much you definitely haven't won well I'd like Frankie for now if that's all right thank you very much looks like a glasses case new glasses do you notice anything special yeah this oh yes these glasses have got wing mirrors on yes you can see behind me I'll see behind me sunglasses oh my god of course is I have to see if there's any of those pregnant women behind and now I can't believe they're gonna get beaten I absolutely love them thank you very much so look at Roma she's thanks mate really hope you like it I commissioned this piece for you well I mean I don't know I just January while walking around the field what's with the duck thing I wanted to show that you were all terrain like that next best thing to a Jeep I was about to say nice so you know you could handle any sort of situation even if there wasn't a box provided you'd be able to they'd be able to handle it like a legend do you are beautiful thanks Ramesh you really you're very welcome just relax please I felt we've been getting on very well Greg yeah I think it's gonna I I thought you'd worry that I'd forget you after this so I've got a tattoo [Applause] well you could have gift-wrapped it I mean [Applause] it's impossible to beat or is it come forth okay have to open it very carefully it's something you said you want it you were drunk he said you were into them it's an amazing present because it was only 17 pounds I've got your free scratchcards as well what shall I look I've got my own Mouse he's also called Greg I've got a tattoo of his name thank you very much morally we are encouraged not to give animals this presence yeah we are don't worry I'm not keeping him obviously the book tokens are last sorry we're Amish awesome if you hadn't stopped ducks feet on me you would have been right up there that's coming in at 4th on believe I'll be using the sunglasses every day but they've got coming third place I don't know what to do with you - yeah I do anyone who permanently inks himself up surely has to win this task show me the next tusk [Music] coloring pens old-school fat ones another day another only using only the items currently on this table get this egg as high as possible heist wins the egg must not break you have 20 minutes your time starts now as possible using these items so I've got coloring pens what are these pens a measuring tape scissors okay I just got paper and that's it show you everything get it done with a box really so just make it clear they can't break the egg if they break the egg they're disqualified right clear one egg and girth as high as possible [Applause] [Music] so what the hell today [Music] [Music] make that 111 I'm not gonna lie I think badly let's get this straight your next teacher yeah after 20 minutes they're aiming to get an egg as high as you can yeah you put an egg onto a ream of paper and pen on the Pens as well I'm sorry and on top of the Pens how high did Roger 11 because of the pens would have been one me to ten so that was more or less how mine came it was exactly how yours came finally them in a cardboard box somewhere there wasn't a box man let's have a look at somebody who's not going to come last okay you're in the lead nice refreshing does it have to stay as high as possible for a certain amount of time what are you thinking I would catch it [Laughter] [Applause] by surprise Ramesh not last unbelievable success story Oh God you're right now I've heard your explanation I'm gonna make you win this task I mean officer this is gonna sound a little bit harsh if you up to me you'd be kicked off the show for that who's next poet tim-ki ah the poet in the egg [Music] nature sellotape the crafts Afghan side that's promising two minutes egg one minute ten hello 41 seconds hold on 26 seconds [Laughter] 20 seconds away sound is turning into who cannot break an egg in 20 minutes one of my problems was I didn't notice the saucepan and the electric cooker on the table already so you didn't see them maybe I'll give you an extra point if you'd uh I swear to God now I'm just saying they they clearly weren't on display and that's not fair is it that you're really they were going to see next the final two Frank and Josh get this egg as high as possible it doesn't have to be at that height for very long just gonna build a crack flaps a paper oh my god what if I wrap the egg several times in this tape giving it a bit of protection and then throw it really high I can't completely judge the trajectories I'll try and go straight up straight down and long if I got left for it 941 five and a half minutes okay so yeah the secret I think is that when you catch it you go down with it so it doesn't trap one minute just one minute ready I'm really nervous I'm sure you're all thinking the same thing as me I'm amazed I give it but it genuinely is quite tense isn't it yeah so at this point Josh's egg got to 6 meters 80 Frank's got to 8 meters front is high so Frank is potentially gonna clean up here should we see if the eggs broke okay ready no I'm all right how did that not break didn't work out so confident I couldn't see anything going wrong [Music] [Music] satire image of you losing your wacky friend or you falling home funny like I said years of playing cricket stood me in good stead so what's the sort of minor miracle Josh's egg I mean I know why you threw it again no I don't know I go kind of rush of blood to the head the thing with eggs because they're born by birds that if they land on grass that design not to break this is why birds don't wrap them in paper I've never thought I would be announcing this score three people have failed a task josh is obviously the winner and against all natural odds in second place Romesh Ranganathan remember later on someone might be depriving Tim key of a piston I know right see you after the break the final live-action task yes I will [Music] welcome back to the final part of this four-part task master story Alex how the scores looking well Frank's in third Joshua to come in second and rubbish Ranga Nathan's in first place I would like Josh to read at the task please stand up after 102 seconds hey Josh she was a lovely voice thank you very much Alex okay just be clear of the nose you if you sit on your hands you must not look at your watch Romesh this mugging all right so it's very simple Alex blows whistle you must work out in your head how long a hundred seconds is and stand up when you think it's past Alex [Music] pretty exciting Tim how many seconds you think you're on at the moment 35 Alex Robert seems to me that really nervous is there anything you could give from ash that would sort of give him a little lift because okay nervously looks give him a boost not funny man funny oh my god someone has just jumped themselves into last place a jackal was it you can't sit back down stand up Shivan another go Whitcomb is gone I already [Applause] exciting stuff Alex you okay who is most accurate everybody come down well that it's the final scores we'll see how you did [Music] definitely roasting stood up both first and last and was furthest outside of the hundred both times you were in last place twice Frank Skinner was the fourth closest these two were exactly the same rubbish and Tim both stood up about 12 seconds after 100 seconds Josh would have come five seconds after the hundred second he stood up on one hundred and five seconds Wow a tie-break situation how exciting Alex I have no idea how we're going to resolve this we have a task master tiebreaker question so I'm going to ask you both a question it's a number question which every of you is closest to the right answer you're gonna win okay the question is please give me Frank Skinner's age in minutes stop multiple-choice mate who'd you ask first I want to ask Josh Widdicombe first no this is really unfair enough to go first can't he go first okay what Ramesh I require you to guess first to save your wedding ring call me go first absolutely not that's embarrassing just a bit higher 200,000 the Frank Skinner is thirty million five hundred and five thousand and twenty eight minutes old which means that choice when it comes to posters and so the former math teacher loses his wedding ring today ladies gentlemen is mr. Josh Widdicombe well done that's all for today I've been the taskmaster and this has been taskmaster thank you Alex and you mr. Widdicombe may go and collect your prize ladies and gentlemen what a haul just wait the carving and remember when you have a handful of hope and a heart full of sorrow when all your dreams are in one basket but the chicken is phoned the coop join us next time on task master good night [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] I'm askin you wife's can be genuinely upset yeah it's not gonna be a good night [Music] for Walter Franta subscribe now [Music] you

Channel: Taskmaster

Views: 2,684,621

Keywords: Taskmaster, Alex Horne, Greg Davies, Frank Skinner, Josh Widdicombe, Roisin Conaty, Romesh Ranganathan, The Horne Section, Tim Key, Dave Channel, UKTV, Red Dwarf, Would I Lie To You, 8 out of 10 cats, Taskmaster Full Episode, Taskmaster Series 1, Taskmaster Series 1 Episode 3

Id: 82c2y94BvEA

Length: 45min 4sec (2704 seconds)

Published: Thu Nov 07 2019