September 5, 2021 Sunday 9:30 Live Service

[Music] [Music] we're going to talk about marriage in a way that perhaps you've never heard it before in the next eight or nine weeks we're in first corinthians chapter number seven and it's all about relationships relationships relationships and the primary relationship after the relationship you and i can have with god through jesus christ is marriage because we in the church are the bible tells us we are the very bride of jesus christ marriage that that fabulous relationship if you're single you say well this won't apply to me it absolutely applies to you if you're married it absolutely applies to you because there is a desire for paradise in marriage [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] hmm [Music] [Music] we're going to talk about marriage in a way that perhaps you've never heard it before in the next eight or nine weeks we're in first corinthians chapter number seven and it's all about relationships relationships relationships and the primary relationship after the relationship you and i can have with god through jesus christ is marriage because we in the church are the bible tells us we are the very bride of jesus christ marriage that that fabulous relationship if you're single you say well this won't apply to me it absolutely applies to you if you're married it absolutely applies to you because there is a desire for paradise in marriage [Music] do [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] so [Music] good morning second family let's stand together as we rejoice as we celebrate as we praise the king of kings and the lord hallelujah [Music] stay with us these are the days of elijah righteousness being restored and though these are days we are the boys until salvation oh yes lord hallelujah [Music] sing with us these are the days of his ego and these are the days of your servant david rebuilding the temple of [Music] and praise are the days [Music] oh is [Music] oh [Music] like the is [Music] [Music] in is house father it is good to be in your house today father thank you for the opportunity we have to worship you together father we pray that you would guide us towards placing aside those things that would distract us speak to us corporately and individually for it's the name of jesus we pray amen good morning welcome to worship at second it is so good that you're here no matter what your week has looked like you can know that right now right here you are in the right place and with the right people if you're a guest with us we especially want to welcome you if you look in the aisles you'll see that we have ushers and they are looking for you so if you wouldn't mind if you're a guest whether it's your first time or fourth time would you just slip up your hand just for a moment slip up your hands so they can see you and our ushers are going to put this card in your hands when you receive this card will you do a few things for me first would you fill it out as completely as you can and when the offering tray is passed later in our service place this card in the tray that would be your gift to us today it will allow us to contact you later this week second on the other side of the card you'll find a sticker would you remove the sticker and just place it somewhere on your clothing where it's visible that's going to allow our church members to identify you and to warmly greet you today as you come and go on our campus finally when our church service is over i want to invite you to meet me and some other members of our church at the red door there to your right no matter what door you came in today that's the front door of the church so make your way over there i'll be there with some other members and we would like to take that moment to get to know you we'd like to give you a gift i'd like to hear your story and find out how you can connect to god and his people here in the second family [Music] now we love to worship god in this church as you get to know us you're going to find that we are amazed amazed by the grace of god so let's continue to worship him now together [Music] amazing grace how sweet the sound that saved [Music] was bright but now would you stand with us and sing twas grace embrace my fears [Music] [Music] [Music] i've been set free [Music] his mercy reigns undead in the love amazing grace hallelujah thank you lord the lord's been so good to us [Music] the lord has [Music] he will as long as life [Music] [Music] now think about this verse [Music] [Music] oh tears [Music] his mercy [Music] [Music] amazing grace thank you lord for your amazing grace let's give him praise this morning shall we hallelujah abba father thank you so much for allowing us the privilege to come before you today we pray to your god that you would allow us again to put the travails of this world behind us so that we may focus on the message that you have for us each individually take the tithes that we are about to offer for the benefit of your kingdom for all these things we pray in jesus name amen [Music] jesus [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] r [Music] oh me [Music] [Applause] [Music] oh [Music] is [Music] forever [Applause] [Music] me [Applause] [Music] is [Music] [Music] is [Music] ah [Music] [Music] [Applause] marriage marriage from the beginning of the bible in genesis the first real miracle that took place was when god gave us marriage the vows are there leave cleave naked one flesh no shame so the bible begins with marriage the bible ends in revelation with marriage we graduate and go to heaven and be with the lord there is the marriage feast of the lamb a banquet that takes place because the church you and i all of us are the bride of christ and he is the bridegroom and therefore there will be a marriage celebration when we graduate and go to be with the lord so the bible has a parentheses of marriage on both sides of it and right in the middle jesus performed the first miracle when marriage feasts cana of galilee and all the way through the scripture we have bible use all the way through the bible we have marriage used as the best metaphor of what it is to know god through jesus christ in this relationship we have vertically this is the best illustration we have for what happens horizontally is marriage marriage is the most important and vital and significant human relationship period no debate bottom line marriage so therefore we've been dealing with relationships and we have at the beginning a study of marriage and so this particular weekend we're going to have a chance for every person who would like to who is married to recommit yourself to the vows that you have made you say well what about singles singles need to understand the beauty and the miracle of marriage if you're wooded if you're divorced if you've never married how important it is when this is the figure that is used to help us understand the relationship with god the best physical understanding is marriage it is a sacred holy gift now let me confess something when i first uttered those marriage vows i'll tell you something i didn't really follow through i didn't really comprehend i didn't know the depth of those vowels somehow i had forgotten or did not know that a vow is different from a promise vow is something we make to god not in any other reference a vow is to god and a promise or a contract or a resolution is different than a vow and therefore when you and i if you've ever been married or you are married when you uttered those vows they were to god as well as to your wife or your husband now when i got married i knew i was legally married i entered into a contract of the state but i had no idea that that emotion that i felt of love and that chemistry that i felt which i could not separate from that emotion do you understand what i'm saying did you listen yeah but a vow a vow and then as i studied these vows with a new depth of understanding that i pray god would give to you and me i find where did they come from they began the garden they've evolved through time and finally the archbishop of canterbury had had put down those classical vows you found in the common book of prayer and they've evolved and some people get married they write their own vows but there are a a basic overlook of vows that most of us have repeated after the person who married us so therefore i thought it's a good time time for us to restate those vows too now with new understanding i will tell you something last night we have worship most any time as you know around here and as i went out i happen to be standing over here and a couple came out and they're they're just bright and smiling and she said she would not repeat these vows now they're married and i looked at her and she was smiling i said you know why not she said i just now begin to understand what i've done and i said you're honest you're an honest person and so maybe that will be some of you because they are far far-reaching now also to my surprise as i studied these vows with new eyes i realized that of all people elvis presley elvis presley in the song that was the theme of his life really encompassed these vowels that are expressed biblically and have been retreated by people through the years and i would never have dreamed of this you remember tlc was that elvis gave out he gave out rings and bracelets and had on one of his many outfits said he wore war tlc tender loving care but in the classic song that he's saying over and over again believe it or not it encompasses the biblical view of marriage and the vows that are taken in marriage love me tender love me true never let me go you have made my life complete and i love you so love me tender you see it's all there for example you take the word tender and it can easily be the word cherish oh big word and love is there and truth is there so when you think about the biblical context in which our vows are built it's all there in a secular song so the secular world comes down and defines it the biblical world defines it and we repeat those vows when we get married so we're going to see that when we get married first of all there is a vow to truth and then we'll see there is a vow to love and there is a vow to cherish remember now the word vow has a divine connotation so when marriage takes place it is a supernatural thing it has the vertical dimension and the horizontal commit dimension so we talk about a vowel to truth and you see it in in the thing i your name i edwin take thee lisa to be my wedded wife and to have and to hold from this day forward did you see the word to have do you see the word to hold whoa you know i just you know to have means to possess to hold means to endure so what happens we when we get married we are actually fulfilling what the apostle paul in first corinthians 7 chapter 4 which he says hey wives you don't own yourselves you don't own your body husbands guess what you don't own your body when you get married the other person owns you whoa that's a big thing there has to be a lot of trust there doesn't it a lot of trust and then he says to have and to hold have means to totally own to totally possess he said i'll wait a minute yep that's it no wonder that lady didn't want to repeat this last night she got it and to hold you can hold someone up you can hold and push them down you can lead them out you can pull them back and that is all in the hands of the wife and the hands of the husband well i don't know oh yes this is biblical marriage ladies and gentlemen to have and to hold and therefore this is the very foundation of marriage because that is a total reliability and a dependence on that person that you said i do and i will too as well as almighty god who is built in those vows to have and to hold from this day forward that sounds like forever to me i don't know about you and that is the foundation of truth truth is all in and through marriage truth comes out and we discover that when we're married we wake up sometime and say oh i didn't know he was so prideful i didn't see that oh i didn't know she was so vengeful i didn't see that i didn't know that he was so unforgiving i didn't know that she pouted i and all of this and all in between the little bitty things that we saw when we were dating or talking about getting married now they're put on steroids those little things become gigantic things and you wake up and say i married a stranger in the morning you look over there and there's gorilla breath and the hair looks like it's been you put your finger in a socket or something and he gets up and puts on those old dirty sweats and he goes to the bathroom and makes noises you never heard before you see there's no place to hide in marriage the truth comes out it is seen in this most intimate relationship it is all there and it's startling to some people man you mean i've given myself to and to hold to to her to him but it's based on truth soaring kirkegaard the philosopher talk about marriage he said it's like that when you get married you've gone to a costume ball and you're totally masked and you identify with masks you're totally masked and you have a complete different costume nobody can possibly recognize who you are and and you dance and you eat and you have activities and celebration and it's a wonderful time till midnight i.e the story of cinderella we would say and you take off the mask whoa and everybody knows who you are you're identified quirky guard that's exactly what happens in marriage isn't it everybody here oh yeah isn't it to have and to hold can i hold her a little less can i have her and have him till death do his part say well let me tell you about marriage it's like a bridge you take a bridge it looks steady and strong it's painted and it looks great but you take an 18-wheeler and put on that bridge what happens the stress of the 18-wheeler reveals all the flaws and they begin to come out and they begin to display themselves now did the mack truck or the 18-wheeler cause those flaws no that mack truck just revealed those flaws that were already in the bridge that's what marriage does folks it reveals who we are there there's an openness there's a there's a revelation of truth marriage based on truth so we make a vow to truth and all of a sudden that person knows more about you than your mom or dad your brother your sister your best friend it's all there 24 7. it's the most important relationship the most sacred relationship not parents and children or children and parents or brother and sister or friends it is marriage where there's no place to hide there's no place to run and therefore marriage always needs to be have an open door policy there should never be any locked doors in marriage never so in marriage you have to well i call it the the beautiful triplet in marriage you have to talk talk talk listen listen listen and pray pray pray otherwise you're going to stay there well our marriage is okay there's a lot of okay marriages and that is a tremendous tragedy ladies and gentlemen well we're okay we're doing all right you know she sort of does everything this is a terrible terrible thing and really it's a marriage in form and not in magnificent reality talk talk talk listen listen listen and particularly let me say a word to the guys i've said this many many times but somehow i forget it gentlemen we're not good listeners and when your wife comes you with a problem listen listen listen but do not try to solve the problem that's something men don't understand they come with a problem well let me tell you you need to do this and stop doing this and go there oh no no no no no god listen to me when they cover the problem merely restate the problem to them well you say you're having a problem with that friend who sort of betrayed you you know restate the problem don't try to solve it gentlemen trust me you try to solve it all of a sudden you're in the middle of it so in marriage you listen listen listen you talk talk talk and you pray pray pray and all of a sudden a marriage is just okay and a lot of marriage is just okay i've read a lot of surveys about marriage and the one that seems to be overwhelmingly true is that about 62 or 63 percent of married people say in confidence if i had to do over i would marry him or her again about 60 and only about you know five to eight percent marriages say our marriage is fabulous only about five or eight percent so something's wrong with all of this i think it's the fact we don't understand the vows we don't understand the sacredness of it and first of all there is a vow to truth to truth and the next part of our vow there is a vow to love we're going to be dealing with love in weeks and weeks and weeks to come and i will not exhaust that most vital pregnant meaningful word but we're going to deal with it but i'm going to sort of touch on love first of all you read in the scripture a very clear word in first john 4 16 that god is love now well i knew that well think about it god god's essence god's totality with all his other attributes is totally complete pure love and that scripture in first john says if we love god therefore god loves us and there is that love relationship between you and i to god and god's love is unending you can't do anything say anything to get away from the totality of god because god's essence is love you and i as we abide in god that means take up residence in godly understanding then we have the capacity to love some people have a tough time loving sacrificially and with that big pregnant agape type of love because we don't realize god loves us unconditionally and therefore we have not experienced sometimes love in our family love and relationships and therefore we do not we're not able to powerfully to give off love you see because i have been loved and the proportion by which i understand god has loved me and i have been loved by others then i have love in me and i can give off love and love is not a feeling to god love is a noun he is love but to you and i love is a verb it's on me it doesn't matter well i fell in love and i can fall out of love nonsense you are a sinner and you married a sinner and there'll be sin in the relationship and we can't escape it we can be forgiven from it we fell in love in a fallen world that had all has already fallen so we're talking about this fabulous relationship and we take a vow to love have you ever said well i can't help how i feel let me give you a little wake-up call about feelings feelings are not good and they're not bad feelings are not moral our feelings are not immoral it is true that we can help how we feel but a lot of people use feelings as excuse for lust as an excuse for how we relate to somebody well i can't help how i feel and that brings you into two big old broad philosophical areas don't get lost in it you say i can't help how i feel in one sense you can't but feelings cannot be determinative of what we do it doesn't work like that there's a whole school of thought called stoicism need to know that word it means i don't recognize feelings i try to stalk down any emotions i have i don't want to live on the basis of emotion i'm just going to be sterile and static and cold and not recognize any feelings just deny them that's emmanuel kant if you're a philosopher stomp out feelings stomp out emotions don't let the heart rule don't deal with that that's one extreme the other extreme i can't help how i feel therefore i act on the basis of how i feel and that is russo that is as stupid as trying to kill feelings as to say i'm going to respond because how i feel ladies and gentlemen i've got a news flash for some people you know what it is feelings do not determine our action our actions come through our free will and our reason we don't just live on the basis of our heart there is the mind and the reason that superintends and controls our feelings you got it it's a little whiny thing i can't help how i feel this is not moral they're not immoral they're not right they're not wrong now we do something that is right and good we have good feelings and it follows with happiness if we do something that is wrong and unseemly we have guilt that it comes which lead to unhappiness but feelings do not control we cannot help how we feel but how we respond comes through our free will and our reason so you have to have the heart and the head you have to have both it's not either ours but then so don't say to anybody oh i can't help how i feel i act on the basis of how i feel i've heard that so much in marriage conflicts you don't really fall in love and you don't really fall out of love and when we're married we take those vows not just to our partner our spouse our mate but to almighty god because vows are made to god this is getting heavy isn't it but it is so real and so practical now we love to say well i just love everybody you know oh i just love i'm just a lover i love everybody but you know in the bible you find that god loves the world and there is a universal understanding of love that certainly we need to be a part of but yet love really effectively administered or operating in your life in my life is very personal it begins very small god loved abram right know your bible and he said abram i'm going to make out of you a great nation couldn't god have loved a lot more people beside abraham though he just started off with old abraham and out of abraham he made a nation but it was a small insignificant nation of israelites of jews in the backside of nowhere as far as public uh the world is concerned but god took that small nation and loved it uniquely trying to build into them through progressive revelation what life is all about and the meaning of life he loved that little small nation and then he sent his son into the world fulfilling prophecy in that small nation and jesus primarily poured himself into just a little group of guys didn't he a little group of you know not those who were most likely to succeed by the way 16. it's a little group of nobodies he poured himself into them with his love couldn't he have loved more people could he had other plans no he just poured himself into those men and what happened those men in their lives their love explained who jesus was to the world blew up the whole world see the most important thing we can do right now probably probably most important thing we can do personally individually is to love our mate to love our wife and our husband as god in christ says love us well that seems so small it's not really small love is not a river that's surrounded by banks when a man loves a woman and a woman loves a man as christ loved the church and gave himself for it in that intimacy of married love that love flows outside the banks and that love begins to flood and grow and therefore because in our marriage relationship we have such a love relationship with god in christ and with our wife or our husband now everywhere we go in the world we have the capacity to love love is small intimate and then it becomes a forest fire then it begins to spread everywhere and we can only be effective in your job and your vocation in relationships as we have loved our wife now we have an explosive love you see how god works so we have a vow to truth marriage we have a vow to love marriage and we have a vow to something else [Music] tlc and that c is cherish you're to cherish that person what does it mean to cherish it's to give high value to cherish someone means that you support you encourage you cheer you you let them know that they are of the highest importance in your human life they are way up there and they can do nothing or say nothing that will violate the fact that you have made a vow to truth and to love and to cherish and to honor them this is pretty heavy isn't it and you see what love is by definition for better for worse things get better things can get worse you can be rich have enough to live on or you can be poor you can be sick you can be healthy you say well i didn't buy this yes we did those are the extremities and that defines in the marriage vow what it means to love better for worse rich or poor rich we have enough to live on poor we don't have enough to live on i've been there both times in sickness i know about that i know about health i've been there so sometimes it's better sometimes it's worse but in all of it we are loved by god enhanced by god forgiven by god and all of a sudden that's a little miniature definition of love is it not in marriage in it we said in our vows then it says to cherish that's the last part of it that's the fun part that's the thrilling part you learn as gary chapman said in his book you learn the love language of your mate do you know the love language you made i see some people don't have clue we have different love languages you discover that you discover that and you speak out in that context now we're going to have a large marriage ceremony here today some of you know it some of you didn't know it but this is a chance for many to restate their vows with new understanding or it's a chance for some may be here who this can be a legitimate service of marriage yes and you can bring me the papers and i will sign them if you do this in sincerity before god and these assemble witnesses and if you're single great you get to participate in a fabulous commitment service now with a new understanding of marriage i could go around to some of the men here said you get this when you were married they'd be like no i didn't get all that but now we get it so this will be a more significant time and those who will not participate will be a part of a significant time of commitment so if you're ready to restate your vows or maybe to save them and your wife your husband is with you with the man and the wife please stand up yeah isn't that great oh congratulations now you can say you cannot say boy i didn't understand all this now you do what these vows are all about and so we are going to repeat these vows and you just have a wedding rehearsal right yeah and you go to rehearsal you try to get everybody to respond we all have sort of a giant little rehearsal here so we're going to start by the way last night i just did the commitment to men made i forgot you ladies make a commitment i'm sorry and those that were here last night are half married but you're going to get the full full commitment thing here because we understand it and i would say i edwin take the lisa to my ready wife to have in the hole from this day forward and i would ask you to repeat that after me and then we'll repeat the vows as we go forward so would you turn and face your husband your wife hold hands and look at them don't look at me look at them no early kissing there please ed neiner you're not even near about there just hang in there we've got some people that you know they have problems here now now let me say i want you to say your husband's name your wife's name first of all we're going to talk the men or the look at your wife you're going to repeat the vows and follow me and you say i your name first name take thee your wife's name and then i'll lead us to it as the men will make these vows to their wife okay here we go i edwin man that's the most anemic thing i've ever seen it's your name here we go here we go i edwin say your name take thee to be my wedded wife now gentlemen speak up she couldn't even hear you to be my wedded wife to have and to hold from this day forward for better for worse for richer for poorer in sickness than in health to love to cherish till death do us part according to god's holy gift good now ladies show them how this works now if you would now this is for the wife i see how much better that take thee to be my wedded husband to have and to hold from this day forward for better for worse for richer for poorer in sickness and in health to love to cherish till death do us part according to god's holy gift oh that's great now if you can and you have your rings take your ring off if you would a man here last night just about broke his finger trying to get his ring off let me show you something about the ring look up here for a minute that you may not know in the early church at a marriage ceremony the the the bride in the groom would have their ring on the middle finger and therefore when they would have the wedding ceremony they would say i know god the father god the son god the holy spirit has been a part of this and then they would put on the on the fourth finger of that hand so men you need to have your wife and wife's ring why'd you dab your husband's ring right now if you can if not you can simulate this simulation means go through it as if you did have a ring okay now look at your bait first of all to the men do you give this ring to your wife as a token of your love for her the answer is i do by the way when you give rehearsal when you give you say i do when you receive you say i will now i go over this with a lot of marriages and i get about 50 understanding when i ask do you you answer i do when i say will you answer i will let's try it again here we go gentlemen do you give this ring to your wife as a token of your love for her it's i do wise will you receive this ring and wear it as a similar token of your husband's love for you good see how guys it's easy now let's go the other way and now ladies you take your husband's ring or simulate it do you give this reign to your husband as a token of your love for him will you receive this ring where does the symbol have token of your wife's love for you i will good good thus by the authority vested in me by the laws of the state of texas and looking to god almighty for divine sanction i reestablish your vows your marriage before all these people and before almighty god himself now gentlemen you may kiss the bride hey hey [Applause] you may be seated now you may have thought you were married before now you are really married right you're really married a re-commitment and some a first commitment to the most magnificent relationship god has given us as human beings he defined it he gave us this intimacy that is there in 2015 a beautiful young lady was crowned miss thailand gary thomas tells us about this in his book on cherishing and she was radiant i mean tall brilliant gracious humble beautiful striking miss thailand and when she received the award they put a tiara on her head a crown and everybody was just wow she's got everything but she left the ceremony and she went looking for her mother here's miss thailand and she goes and she finds her mother before a garbage dump and she goes and bows down before her mother flatter her face the picture is taken the picture is taken because you see her mother had a one family home she was the only one who provided for her children including now miss thailand and she was a garbage picker she went in all over and got trash and would resell the trash is how she had enough money to maintain that family and now her daughter goes and this triumphant moment and just bows down before her and cherishes her the picture that was taken went all over the internet it went all over asia and all of a sudden when this mother who went to work dirty with trash on her every single day to pick out garbage that she could resell to others became in herself famous and people would see it recognize this mom what a powerful thing the fact that her daughter cherished her now she had a semblance of notoriety and and fame but she didn't take any other offers she said no i provided for my kids selling trash i'm going to keep on selling trash but now she recognized by people famous throughout asia because this beautiful daughter had so cherished her let me tell you something folks god our father in heaven so cherished you and me in that we still have hypocrisy and trash all over us he sent his son all the way down to this world to take care of that trash and garbage to cherish to demonstrate how much he loved us so you and i can be cleansed that's what happens i'll tell you a secret i shouldn't tell you this i can be with a couple just for a little while and i can tell you in a new york minute whether or not he cherishes her and she cherishes him it's so obvious so obvious now we know god has cherished us so this is the time for you and for me to respond to that so we're going to have the most unusual hymn of invitation maybe a church has ever had pastor brooks rodney and i have talked about it and we were sort of i don't know about this but you see in the marriage spirit there's going to be sung for us the prayer which you hear so many marriages but it's an invitation to him for those of us to come forward and say i've got to have the love of god i forget to have christ in my life i want that new life and i come to christ i surrender myself others are christians a single adult a couple a teenager just come down front and say this is the time that was labor day when i understood and i gave my life to christ and as a christian i came into the life of the church so his pastors are down here and as the prayer is being sung what a time to come in the life of the church the balcony come down those steps you come down this way or that way downstairs you come and just stand right in front of me and say it was on labor day i came to christ on labor day as a christian i came to the life of the church what a time no one moves as god speaks and many perhaps as god leads come into the family today [Music] as he leaves [Music] as people are making decisions for christ right now i want to extend that same invitation to you as you're watching online if you need and are led to make jesus christ the lord of your life or if you need to join the second family you can call the toll-free number on your screen or go to second.org and click the join button we want to share with you about how we can have a life in christ and send you some more information about being a part officially a part of our second family maybe you're watching you just need someone to pray with you someone's listening ready to heed your call call our toll-free prayer line and we'll pray with you right now again thank you so much for worshiping with us and we'll see you right back here next weekend [Music] my god is awesome he can move mountains keep me in the valley hide me from the rain my god is awesome he healed me when i'm broken strength where i've been weakened forever keep me in the hooked me back together forever [Applause] do you believe that this morning [Music] is [Music] [Applause] [Music] is [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] my [Music] is [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] nobody like him [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] hey [Music] [Applause] [Music] it doesn't matter what you're going through [Music] our god is [Music] [Music] he's our strength [Music] [Applause] [Music] you

Channel: Second Baptist Church, Houston

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Id: rgfzv1uGPUQ

Length: 76min 9sec (4569 seconds)

Published: Sun Sep 05 2021