Self-Love: If You Do Only One Thing, Do This!  | Frankie Côté | TEDxCollingwood

if I did one thing Belov the open line opening line of a song I wrote whilst taking a 17 country world trip back in 2018 now I don't remember the precise moment when this song came to me but it was at some point between the searing heat of Malta and the timeless snow-capped peaks of New Zealand I'm taking a photo of them there now with all songs and like all songs they come to me in an instant a blink of an eye some might say a flash of inspiration if I did one thing for love I would strip away all that I thought I was now the meaning of these songs that's a whole different matter the song may come to me in the blink of an eye but the meaning may take a little longer it can take me days weeks months sometimes years to fully understand what a song really means my muse speaks in a beautiful tongue a language is so beautiful but I sometimes don't understand it straight away I'm a human in this case the meaning came really quickly I realized that I'd thought I was many things over the years I thought I was a pop star back in my late teens and early twenties when I played shows to 1,400 people I thought I was destined to work with the differently-abled when I worked as a carer for autistic young adults I thought I was a wolf of wallstreet when I lived in a sub penthouse apartment in a swanky building in downtown Toronto working as a director of partnerships at a tech company I thought I was an author when I published my first book and I thought I was a good one when it hit number one on six Amazon charts little chance and for someone who doesn't consider themselves to be much of an actor I sure have played quite a few roles now I didn't just think about the roles that I played I also thought about all the things I'd thought about myself I thought I was broken beyond repair as I suffered for most of my adult life thus far with chronic physical and mental health issues that eventually led to two suicide attempts I used to think that I couldn't live without alcohol for about the same amount of time until I realized that it is possible surprisingly I thought I would never love anyone authentically based on the cultural upbringing I had until I realized that I could love whoever I wanted I thought I was a good person but I sure have done some pretty bad things over the years so can I really call myself a good person if I did one thing for love I would strip away all that I thought I was now when it came down to it this process of realizing that everything I thought I was eventually changed or was rendered obsolete by time or was ultimately subjective I mean you might not agree I called myself a pop star but you might not think so and I didn't much like the idea that everything I thought I was was ultimately meaningless realizing that was not a very nice moment at all I felt tiny in this big huge universe but it got me thinking I thought if everything I ever think I will ever be and everything I thought I was and everything I think I am now means nothing then surely there's something else out there that I can attach myself to surely there's another part of me that I can refer to when understanding Who I am if I did one thing for love I would travel around the world in search of something I can give to you I would hammer my every stone to find a jewel and so I went on my trip and as I wandered around this beautiful lake I got to know my emotions I didn't think about them too much I just listened and suddenly problems I'd had for years made a little more sense with the requisite emotions that took me past my logic I continued to the camel fairs of Rajasthan in India they're great and I got to know my knowing I asked myself what do I really know about myself and it turns out not very much but what I do know is beautiful and suddenly I knew so much more than I did before and later in Sydney as I was sipping this tiny bit of sweet espresso I found myself communicating with my body I asked it to tell me something I didn't know and I didn't think and suddenly I realized it had a beautiful language of its own but I hadn't been listening to I used to be 320 pounds I didn't get that by listening now just to run over this with a little more clarity beyond our thinking place is our feeling place the place that paints the color of emotion on our lives and gives us an understanding beyond our logical mind as to what serves us and what doesn't our knowing place the place that simply knows things that we love our mum that's not my mum there we love our dog that's not my dog or that we love our stepmothers dog she has five I love them and the body our longest-serving companion he'll be here from before we're born till after we die but how often do we find ourselves saying something along the lines of I just can't feel this right now there's the kids and there's the school and there's work I just can't feel this or I know this isn't exactly what I want to do but six more months maybe a year or I should offer my body more nutrition but cake that's my one now the solution to these dilemmas can be represented as a compass to the north is our ever-present thinking place our capacity to use logic to better understand the world around us to solve problems the great machination that is our mind helps our heart beat and helps us pull air into our lungs it can also cause us a lot of problems if it's left unchecked hence why we need the east a feeling place the emotion that adds something beautiful to our logic that takes us away from being a pure Android and makes us human our knowing and are knowing place that perhaps timeless place that tells us what we love and who we love and our body to the west our friends for life who if we learn how to treat kindly we hope will return us abundant health and herein lies my idea worth spreading we're often taught to use our thinking place and most of us hardly ever leave our thinking and our feeling place I am a product of that and they didn't get the two suicide attempts by knowing it's so important to live our lives using every data point that is accessible to us from our thinking feeling knowing and body using all of these we can make truly smart decisions now the understanding of this concept came to me as this song came to me and I may have said many words but I probably can't share the message quite like when I sing it I'd like to sing this song for you [Music] hello [Music] if I did one thing for love I would strip away all that I thought I was and I would come to you as the littlest me and not bring you no excuse cuz you only saw the paper mache faces that and I did believe but those faces they were part of me but they want now you can see me if I did one thing I would travel the world in such a son they not do you I would have a mine every stone to find a joke we saw the man I hired save me when I was young and he won me many was behind you so I let him go [Music] now you can see me if I did one thing for love I would strip away was thank you [Applause]

Channel: TEDx Talks

Views: 133,314

Keywords: TEDxTalks, English, Life, Body, Change, Health, Personal growth, Self improvement

Id: AGQ3TiLqTFA

Length: 13min 17sec (797 seconds)

Published: Thu Nov 07 2019