Sean Patton was Paid $500 to Never Tell This Story | PARTY LEGENDS

my name is Sean Patton I am a I'm a Scorpio the first time I ever made money performing as a comedian it was in a city known as Baton Rouge Louisiana I was performing there at a club that I won't I won't say the name of but that it's called a funny bone I was paid $100 for two shows the first show was silence you know crickets heckling me you know the second show was just drunk loud boo shut up that's kind of like the ultimate heckle shut up after the show they give me my $50 I said I thought was 100 he's like well I thought you were gonna be better I I did that poorly downgraded my pain I can remember as being sort of a shell-shocked feeling I'm just like well you know what I want to do I want to get drunk I'm get it I'm just drink at the bar by myself and this woman comes and sits next to me and she's older in her 40s and she says hey um I thought you were really funny like really funny and I was like oh thank you and she was very attractive woman and she got me like right up on her it was like come here come here come do you think I'm beautiful and I was like a kook yeah and she's like why did he in sunny and say huh and then she lays one on me come home with me let's get up let's get high cut to her and I in my car now going back to her place Baton Rouge is a very rich city there's a lot of dated subdivisions in Baton Rouge so we get to her gated subdivision you got a type of code in to open the gate and she's like it's for 196 and I type that in and it gives me like an aunt and she's like no I'm sorry for 9 168 no no no it's in for 9 1 1 6 and no now and then the security guard he shined alignment can I help you she opens the door give us and guys hang out and gets back in and he's like oh ok like he could understand her language and also spoke shit-faced apparently we drive in and her house was this like mansion there's no the way to describe when we get into this house and it looks like someone broke in and just threw a party completely trashed the first thing I saw an empty pizza box with a bunch of the bricks of ramen noodles just a bunch of those in a pizza box the fridge a refrigerator had been drugged out it was no longer in the kitchen it was now in the foyer a laying on its side open and it was on and it was full of trash that when I remember thinking like someone with me that's not how you recycle and then we go into like the bar and she said I'm gonna make you a drink and I said jokingly I will have a Grey Goose and Jameson and she gang made it just was like ok boom no ice I was like well this is the most expensive thing I've ever held and we go into the living room we sit down for a second she's like I want to show you me performing and at first I was like yeah ok cool and she disappears for a second and I'm thinking oh she's gonna come out scantily clad nope she comes back with a VCR you hook it up cuz I want you to see what from the tape ok on the VCR sure I can yes then she says oh and let's get high she disappears again first I'm gonna PCR very easy BAM it's in there sort of press play it comes up right away it is her they're young acting and play and then she comes and sits back down she's got a pipe now she's ready get high said yeah watch I want you see I'm a gay actress I was a little disappointed I was like oh okay you know I'm gonna watch a play you were in and this up alright and then she lights up the bulb starts puffing and that's when I noticed like oh oh oh that's not weed smoked a lot of weed it's definitely not opium I've even smoked opium that is crack it fits the description of crack it is a rock and it has that sweet tinny smell that you hear about passes me this crack pipe and I just sort of take it then just let it drift over hold onto it for a second I make a sound and then he's gonna hold my breath and then I slowly pass it back to her and she just kind of grabs it I was now afraid as she's clearly up after that first hit then what we're watching on TV sort of goes and then pops back up and it's hard close-up on her face she's laid out on like a deck or something camera pulls back clothing more and she's topless smiling and I'm looking at her like uh-huh your breasts are on the screen but you don't care because you're a pile of crack and then if actuate more to reveal her leg fully nude with a roman candle now I wish I could tell you it was in her hand but it wasn't that roman candle was in her vagina not the wrong way the business end was facing outward you know this wasn't a crazy suicide attempt on video and whoever was holding the camera the the DP of that shoot he reached down and lit lit the roman candle so this thing starts firing and this guy's just filming it laughing his ass off and then he turns over real quick and you see about four people all wearing Casper the Friendly Ghost costume dodging the blasts whoo all right I think I can lead now and I did set the drink down she was completely head bobbing high out of her mind huh huh yeah yeah bye I'm get out of there headlights I can you see I see headlights as I'm getting to the foyer and I hear you know the opening slamming the door I'm frozen I'm like um I don't should I hide who enters is it was almost like a casting agency sent a husband jacket over the sliminess link wedding ring wait right there briefcase Toddie undone like that guy opens the door and I'm just sort of standing there and he gives me this look like he's been through this before then as that happens I get punched in the back of the head real goddamn hard wait I turn around I catch a second punch right in the face oh [ __ ] and it's her she's unloading on me Natalie yes mother yeah mother suddenly this guy's got her and he's restraining or is a Dierdre Dierdre which was like oh Deirdre I didn't we not never got her name but there's a quick quick and the mean starts doing this this sound hey I'm like okay he says tell me your name no they shape what comes back with a checkbook he's writing he's like just tell me your goddamn name like okay tell him my name writes a check he says you get out of here and you never talked about this and I don't ever want to see you again I was like alright I got my car drove the hour and a half back to New Orleans the next morning I woke up and catch that check I made fifty dollars bombing in front of dumb idiot Baton Rouge people but I made $500 to basically never tell this story

Channel: VICE TV

Views: 3,683,158

Keywords: ancient, aliens, documentary, documentaries, interview, interviews, culture, wild, lifestyle, world, exclusive, independent, underground, videos, funny, funny videos, journalism, vice guide, vice presents, vice news, vbs.tv, vice.com, vice, vice magazine, vice mag, vice videos, viceland, tv, tv channel, ellen page, eddie huang, huang's, gaycation, balls, deep, party, HOLLYWOOD, alcohol

Id: ZV7T0TBNgVY

Length: 6min 42sec (402 seconds)

Published: Mon Aug 15 2016