Hokey fantasy religions and ancient weapons
are no match for a good good science fiction weapon at your side. Intrepid science fiction characters need to
be well armed in their… um totally peaceful mission of exploration! Exploring new worlds to discover new life
and new civilizations goes a lot smoother if you walk softly and carry a big photon
torpedo. Set phasers to copy so we can plunder some
cool science fiction weapons for our setting! Now what future weapon of war should we start
with first? Something classic. Deathray? No. Too classic. I got it! We all know that future battlefields will
be dominated by lasers. Lasers are great weapons that suffer only
a few drawbacks. No not real problems like thermal blooming
or finding a sufficiently compact power source so the future trooper isn’t lugging around
an extension cord. No. The problem with lasers is that while moving
at the speed of light they are super easy to dodge by the main characters and despite
having laser precision shot grouping are very inaccurate since the bad guys can’t seem
to hit anyone with them. Also, lasers have a really powerful kick despite
a complete lack of kinetic force when firing. Writer’s should avoid using lasers for boring
realistic military applications like point defense against explosive projectiles or as
a non-lethal stun weapon. Lasers not got enough punch? I think I’ll use plasma weapons instead. A plasma weapon is simply a super-heated beam
or bolt of high energy matter that is hot enough to transition from gas to matter’s
fourth state, plasma. How is this energy contained and directed? Um… space science stuff, obviously. It’s just like real life plasma torches. That should stop those critical emails from
hard scifi nuts. Plasma weapons too sophisticated or maybe
you don’t like watching your imperial guardsman explode. Then why not try some good old fashion rail-guns. Using electromagnetic force to propel projectiles
along a rail, hence rail gun, is actually a weapon we have in real life. Seriously, the navy already has one. This is great for near future settings. Unfortunately, near future settings are also
incapable of miniaturization hence why rail-guns are relegated to starships only. Infantry and ground vehicles will have to
make due with old-fashion ballistics so the author doesn’t have to get out of their
comfort zone… er I mean they haven’t developed a power source compact enough to power small
arms sized rail-gun weapons. Just ignore those lasers we are using alongside
our ballistic weapons. Their battery is different okay! We can’t have our science fiction weapons
get too crazy. Armies of the future should still be shooting
conventional missiles at one another even if point defense technology makes them worthless. We need to keep things understandable for
the modern audience. Sometimes our weapon design requires only
a subtle touch, like a giant robot! Nothing is more subtle than that! Our giant robot is the ultimate weapon of
war as it has no equals on the battlefield even as it sinks into the soil thanks to ground
pressure. Smaller drones in supporting roles or integrating
AI into conventional vehicles won’t work because none of those are as cool as a giant
robot. What! Those boring tanks with their low profile
and sloped armor trashed my giant robot! How? A single shot sent my giant robot’s internal
structure collapsing in on itself. Oh. I see. The dreaded square cube law strikes again. I should have built my giant robot out of
contrivium. That would make my giant robot invincible! Nothing can hurt it! If only we had some kind of super weapon to
stop the enemy giant robot! Like a big explosive of some kind. Like a weapon that wields the power of atomic
energy to produce an unparalleled destructive force. Alas, I know of no such technology that has
existed since 1945 that could do such a thing. If such a terrible, destructive weapon did
exist, then an author should probably create an effective counter measure to make sure
future space battles don’t turn into nuke fights. Hmm… Come to think of it, I should probably add
some super-weapons. Super-weapons should be powerful enough to
destroy entire planets. This large and expensive weapon of mass destruction
will be hyper advanced and truly huge in scale. The destructive potential of this weapon is
only matched by the staggering resource requirements in order to build and maintain it. It’s really too bad they don’t have access
to that aforementioned technology from 1945. Nuking a planet from orbit would be a lot
cheaper than maintaining a moon sized space station. Same goes for the rebels who have to resort
to daring space fighter raids to destroy super weapons rather than firing a few nukes at
the enemy doom station and calling it a day. Then again, I can’t really think of any
real life examples of expensive super military projects that the enemy just finesses their
way past. Wait. I think I’m forgetting something. Oh right. Even though I gave my futuristic military
forces weapons, I should also give them some clever tactics as well. Now with all of these lasers, missiles, plasma
bolts, and super weapons mounted on giant robots being thrown around our forces should
carefully use the very cunning tactic of bunching up and charging at the enemy in a big mob. Clustering troops is a great idea when the
enemy is using explosive, area of effect weapons. Air support? Armored columns in open terrain? Combine arms operations? All of that is unseeded. Having both sides formulate a strategy before
tactically deploying their forces is dumb because then the heroes can’t swoop in at
the last minute and single handedly turn the tide of battle. Bonus points if the hero uses a science fiction
themed sword in a setting with primarily ranged weapons. What author is dumb enough to do that? Um… I mean swords are cool so a scifi writer should
have no hesitation when adding them into a futuristic setting even if they have no way
of nullifying ranged firepower. Personal deflector shields would just cramp
the good guy’s style. Can’t have that. Gotta kill that red shirt somehow. So we now have an arsenal of high tech weapons
for our science fiction setting. Our forces are made up of endless legions
armed with missiles, lasers, and plasma weapon systems. Our generals now use only the latest cutting
edge tactics to obtain total battlefield superiority. Super weapons rule space while giant robots
dominate planet-side. This military force has no equal. Nothing can defeat them… well except alien primitives armed with sticks
and stones. Can’t bomb them into the stone age because
they are already there. Even though high tech armies are maintained
by logistical networks that allow for combat on a planetary scale, they will still lose
outright to freaking tiny tribes of cave men that haven’t even made their first wheel. I guess sheer pluck gives them the knowledge
on how to effectively wage a guerrilla war against an enemy that outnumbers them in the
billions. Unfortunately high tech weapon systems and
futuristic armies are simply no match against primitive alien tribes armed with nothing
more than their quick wits, some cool alien monsters and a few trusty stone tools. Better luck next time military industrial
complex. DARK LORD: You said I would do all of your
sponsor reads. JP: I am altering the deal. Pray I don’t alter it any further DARK LORD: Hey… that’s a pretty good line
actually. I think I’ll save that one for later. JP: NNNNOOOOs always have reverb for some
reason. DARK LORD: None of that matters now, pathetic
love triangle man. All of this channel’s sponsors are now mine,
including today’s. I shall possess the power of audible. CONSPIRATOR: We simply allow you to think
that. All according to plan. DARK LORD: Oh great. It’s you ancient conspiracy guys again. I see you have returned to haunt me. CONSPIRATOR: I am not a ghost. This is hologram. We used them to fake the moon when the astronauts
landed on it. Those fools were none the wiser. DARK LORD: Didn’t the last of you die by
my hand? CONSPIRATOR: We got better. More importantly, I see that you have another
sponsor lined up. DARK LORD: My sponsor. CONSPIRATOR: Do you even know what audible
is? DARK LORD: Of course I know what an edible,
eh adu… of course I know what it is! CONSPIRATOR: Clearly you could use some real
time intel. As it turns out, my organization possesses
the information you require. DARK LORD: 80, 20 split CONSPIRATOR: 50, 50. DARK LORD: 70 30 CONSPIRATOR: Done! DARK LORD: Excellent. Now what’s an audible? CONSPIRATOR: Easy! Audible is… hang on minute. Hey guys, anyone know what audible is? Is it anything like a Walkman or betamax? GUY IN THE BACKGROUND: Okay, grandpa CONSPIRATOR: Stop calling me grandpa and just
answer the question. CONSPIRATOR: Let me put you on hold for a
moment. NARRATOR: Some time later
CONSPIRATOR: Okay. We abducted some schmoe off street and tortured
him until he broke and he told us everything. We learned that Audible is an online service
that provides an unmatched collection of audio books. DARK LORD: Books? Oh I know what those are. Those are those things I burn when I conquer
new lands. Can’t have the peasantry getting too educated. CONSPIRATOR: You can access your audio-book
from a free app for iPhone, iPad, Android, and Windows phone. It’s great for multitasking as you can listen
to a book while performing a separate task like driving, exercising, secretly pulling the strings of world leaders or some other menial
chore. DARK LORD: I can listen on my phone? Great! CONSPIRATOR: You have phone? How? You live in a fantasy world. DARK LORD: I got it some tribe of amazons. CONSPIRATOR: Okay. Then why don’t you recommend a book you
enjoyed. DARK LORD: I love Paradise Lost! I really like that angel of light guy. I really identify with him for some reason. CONSPIRATOR: Yeah I bet you do. DARK LORD: Go to audible.com/terrible or text
terrible to 500-500. CONSPIRATOR: That’s audible . Com / terrible
or text terrible to 500-500 and get a 30 day trail and be rewarded with a free audiobook. Now it’s time for your reward, Darklord. DARK LORD: Curses! CONSPIRATOR: Yes. I’m betraying you now. DARK LORD: Not that. I was going say “I am altering the deal. Pray I don’t alter it any further.” CONSPIRATOR: That’s from Star Wars. Besides, my betrayal line is much cooler than
yours. DARK LORD: No it isn’t. CONSPIRATOR: Yes it is. DARK LORD: No it isn’t. CONSPIRATOR: Yes it is.
watched the episode and he is good as always. although i could not help but notice his claims on rail guns. He found it strange that rail guns never seemed to be used as small arms when they could always be used on larger ships. This makes sense to me as having smallarms rail guns would require them to accelerate over a shorter distance because they accelerate though electro magnets. So you will need a larger projectile that will be heavier and will end up being worse than regular fire arms.
I always want to plan around these sorts of things - like, so you can justify the old tropes, but subvert and be smart about them at the same time.
Like, laser guns are awesome. But... Ugh, whenever I think about this stuff I just shut down, there's way too many factors for me to consider.
Good advice, though if you're actively looking to subvert tropes and fit a certain genre I think you can cut corners on the science.
I agree with his blogpost on the subject - it’s up to whatever genre of scifi you’re working in.