Sanford and Son 2023✅This Land is Whose Land✅S01 Sanford and Son Full Episode Comedy American sitcom

foreign [Laughter] [Music] [Applause] Come On Pop help me load the truck I would son but you know what I woke up with this morning yeah you woke up this morning with a little touch of arthritis no I woke up with a big Touch of arthritis and my hands locked too bad your mouth doesn't lock you watch what you said I mean I don't never forget this can turn into this it's his twin brother hey papa I'm not gonna load the all by myself and I start picking up and putting on okay okay put that back you say you want me to pick up brown I will put on if I don't pick up yeah but not the tire not the lamp either not to die not the lamp no pick up something else you see because uh all of this stuff's not out some of it belongs to Julio what was Julio stop doing over here well he needed a a place to put some of his junk how much it is Julio's that's ours that's Julio's that's ours that's who he knows and this is ours I know which is which yeah but I know and I want this stuff out of here I was stolen from hey Pop Julio's junk and I stole it and why is he hiding it over in our yard I want it out here good for we got plenty of room but a little half if you don't stop it now that's how they move in a tie in a lamp there then you have a big wide rim hat in your living room to live cockroaches in your kitchen and pretty soon your old house full of Puerto Rican I knew the real reason would come out here Prejudice you're never gonna get used to the idea of Julio being well Julio is our neighbor and my friend and he's not doing anything wrong but his junk is and I wanted how to hear and I'm gonna tell him hey Julio would you stop that don't tell me to stop and tell Julio to stop if he's the one brought this stuff over in my yard hey Julio yeah it's not hurting anything man this junk is not hurting anything his junk is making eye junk look like junk hey Lamont Mr Sanford and bees and disease to you it is look I'm very sorry about that Mr Sanford but I'll tell you there's a very simple explanation what happened is that I've been getting in some big freezers and stoves and stuff you know and I ran out of room over my place so if you wouldn't mind I just like to leave it here for a little while and I would I appreciate it mucho come on in here and I want you to get it out though okay Mr Sanford do you mind if I leave it here for just one week then well I'll be a family I give you one week's free storage hey that's great thank you man and officials to have already been here seven days your week is up adios amigo how could you making a big deal out of nothing for a nice stuff being in our yard it's not doing anything wrong here why don't you try being a good neighbor for a chance yeah but Julio's got a problem I can't but if he's a Puerto Rican we got a problem too listen for I don't want any trouble man it's okay I will put my stuff back on my own property okay yeah and you're another one and your mama I said you're still in my yard I'm gonna move it move it move it on out wait a second man this is not your job this is your my yard my property comes all the way over to here oh wait a minute everything's out there my property come all the way over here oh no no no you are mistaken Mr Sanford my property comes right over to here the I live in this house yeah well that's no but I am positive man when I bought the house the real estate man told me that my line was 10 bases from the house which would put it with just about here all right I did you face it off then you'll see look it's okay Mr Sanford I will take your word for it okay I'll move my stuff further back all right love you I don't want you to take my word Focus Pace it off then we'll see you right he said it take your word for it I don't want him to take my word for it I want him to Pace it all and let him see who is right now get the pace in that oil one two three four five six seven eight nine you still in my yard something must be wrong with your Pacer man I didn't get the Dead faces yet because you're wrong the real estate agent probably said 10 feet not 10 faces see that's what happens when you're the foreign look it's not worth arguing over now what difference does it a few feet one way or another because it's just the principle of the thing that's what it is because this is his man this is my land I don't want nothing of his on my land nothing can move me once I make my mind hold it oh no wait a minute get that kill out of here get him out of here keep out of my yard as you don't have no food I'll have me a king-sized Burger and you these twins are waiting to meet your lips [Applause] ASAP I should have been out there to stop here oh you gotta park the truck out of the street run because I got a survey and come here to show me the property line so it was a party truck you mean you actually called the surveyor I actually call the survey I let him show Julio for the legal problem line is uh move the truck man you know you're letting your Prejudice get the best of you man and one of these days you're gonna be sorry and don't forget I Told You So and don't forget what I told you what move the truck the Serbia and I hit though for me Mr Sanford Mr Sanford your girlfriend is familiar um oh hell I'm dead nothing sit down and ask you something thank you now a survey is a survey right that is correct well let's just suppose for the sake of Symposium that one of the guys involved in this survey his name was uh well let's just pick a name at random his name was uh Fuentes that wouldn't make no difference in survey would why should a person's name make any difference yeah that's what I always say if I say the first name make any difference the legal boundary comes from the County Recorder it cannot be changed could I get you something maybe a nice cold glass of water well we got some good water here and you can drink it and don't have to worry about Montezuma's Revenge no thank you I send my son down to get you some tacos and burritos and some of the enchiladas I just eat them all the time at the buffets now I hate this stuff gives me heartburn no Mr Sanford if you would please sign this authorization papers I will proceed with a survey tell you what me saying and right over here this won't take long okay [Music] okay mister [Applause] period thank you very much once we get the uh legal line established and someone come over and put some stuff on my property what can I do about it anything you want is your land you can even confiscate it you mean I keep you can keep it sell it float away whatever but listen what if you got it there what if God puts that comes over and try to stop me you can have him arrested for trespassing really you know me and you I'll block each other pretty good though now if you don't mind I have to get on with my work all right take it easy man baby the truck yeah but I just hope Julio doesn't find out about what you did man it'd be embarrassing I have to tell him that you call a surveyor oh this is not just the beginning I'ma have him confiscated you can't do arrested if I have him find him I have arrested and confiscated I'll confiscated him so who are you learning all these things from from the survey that he told me listen I don't care what he said that stuff belongs to Julio and you can't take it don't tell me I can if he's on my property I can compensate that and then I confiscate him and that's not confiscated I coordinated yeah papa that's not fair it is it's all legal see no man is above president and then it don't even work well I just hope you don't ever need a favor from Julio you talk I need a favor for Julio you must be kidding what kind of favor could I get from Julio what would I do go over that farm fan and pointed those shoes they're really a hard man aren't you oh I'm all finished that'll be 25 are you sharing the cost for the other party no I'm gonna pay it all myself and be well worth it [Music] please there you go thank you now listen now that the legal line has been established and if everything's all legal that's right Mr Sanford be careful not to knock over the stakes or you will not know where the true boundary line is oh yeah no no kick over the state I don't see no mistakes over here they're right over here on the boundary line the legal boundary line is over here that's correct this is your property and and what about all this traffic over here this part is yours this belongs to the other fellow well goodbye and be careful with the steak Zone hey wait a minute man this can't be right yeah but it's legal and you better come over here pop cause you on Julio's property and he can have you arrested for trespass or maybe he'll confiscate you and coordinate you now you're on our property [Music] Like Son sit down I got your newspaper here for you to read and we got you some good coffee just like you like it hot black and in your favorite cup with the crack in it hey we're all the special treatment favorite here's a blueberry muffin and also got some hammocks and some grits and some rice and Roni beanie yeah that's all my favorite foods and for breakfast yeah and for lunch we'll have chicken wings and mustard greens go wait wait a minute wait a minute and jello all right okay okay now why the Royal Treatment no that's not all it is me fixing your night breakfast no but there is a law against bribery and that's what you're trying to do you're trying to bribe me oh me I should not try to bribe you you ain't no vice president [Applause] trying to bribe me so that I won't tell Julio about the survey what survey yesterday's survey and it's not going to work it's inside come on over here and sit down and listen remember this one person don't know can't can't hurt them you know what I mean yeah it means that you don't want me to tell Julio about the survey that you're asking me to conceal ER you're asking me to take part in a cover-up I should move to have you impeached as my father it's my survey I paid for a survey I can do it whatever I'm with and we want to do with it nothing's not right to deprive a person of his property man uh Julio didn't think you own nothing in the first place and if they had nothing he couldn't lose nothing and nothing plus nothing equals nothing I go ahead son eat your property I mean your breakfast with pop he's gonna know something when he sees them sticks don't worry about it he won't see the stakes and why not because I got up last night and moved them and now everything is just like it was wrong huh because I figured you'd pull something like that and I got up early this morning and put those sticks back where they originally were you big dummy what you doing it for because those States tell us where the true property line is and we gotta live with the truth and lose the yard yeah but we'll have truth on our side I really had the yard please [Laughter] it must be an earthquake I didn't even feel it no pop it wasn't an earthquake except when I put the stakes back I moved all our property I moved all our stuff on our property and to get the truck in there I had to climb it upside the house like that but look the door is locked oh look at the window everything inside oh no you big dummy what you trying to do yeah well it's your own fault if you hadn't gotten greedy and call that survey and none of this would have happened look we can't live without a front door we got to go in and out well there's always the back door listen I'll let go argue with you about it I'm just going through them sticks I'm going out the back door wrong again we can't use the back door either give me one reason why I can't use the back door I'll give you two one the back door is locked and two I got the key give me that cheese hey the man got the truck parked like this because he was drunk last night I was not see yeah he's so smashy don't even remember I was not what what is it Liam I can't come in this way the truck's in the way well well come in the back door okay I'm coming on the back hey you big dummy wait a minute Hey listen about the survey well I'm not gonna tell him unless you tell a lie just be quiet and let me do it if you don't tell him the truth I will what's going on man good to see you come out on this sir sit down there have a nice breakfast with us breakfast you invited me for breakfast it's a nice thing to do and no we don't have no grass thank you [Applause] we don't have no grass but I get you some shredded wheat bread and that's a step in the right direction now take another one and tell Julio what you did oh yes yes and I want to tell you that I am sorry and I am moving it all back today don't even worry about that just leave the stuff where it is because I don't care it's just different just leave it right there this is what happened Julio say yesterday I want to be a good neighbor and you were right good neighbors respect property life but Chicos security if we was true in town we will have another muffins [Applause] this is what happened to him he calling a survey over there and now we know where the true property I thought we had this all why should we quibble over introduce oh yeah but now that we know definitely where the line is there will be no more equivalent right innocent besides I don't want to have any of my things on your property you don't have to worry about that yeah listen now from now on we will both keep our own things on our own property and these Stakes will show us where the light is okay foreign came all the way over to here come on foreign give me money yeah man don't worry about a thing with yourself but we're gonna have you all in a jiffy yeah oh I'm sorry we're shaking the truck yeah since we stopped I think now would be a good time to uh get a few things straight but what well like apologizing to Julio always putting him down and talking bad about Puerto Ricans oh man you don't have to die he does if you want if you want to get out of there well what do you say pop do you promise to stop putting Julio down and bad mouthing Puerto Ricans I promise maybe just one more little thing huh Julio's got just one more little thing would you do me a favor and say Theo huh said say who was that well in the Spanish Theo means uncle it's a deal Buick with the man said say to you say Theo you're not gonna say it huh come on Aaliyah see you tomorrow thank you I didn't hear him no man it brought me Julio didn't hear you deal deal deal I said Tio not Chico you big goat Burger [Music] I'll let my newspaper know if you don't mind well I do man get your newspaper in one of the promises I had to make no worth watching what I wanted to watch on television was and if you don't get my newspaper I might not feel like watching roller derby tonight I'll get you newspaper where's my newspaper I get it first place what's the problem all those promises I only asked you to be nice to Julio yeah and you made me promise it'd be nice the chico what's so hard about that he's in the yard and if I promise you that I'd be nice to him I'd chase him out of you why what you doing why you don't know well if you go out in the yard I hope you don't have no shoes on [Music] thank you Sanford and Son is reported on tape for a live studio audience [Applause] [Music] [Applause] just a minute thank you Donna Fred [Music] come on in I'm in uh stay in ah candles and wine glasses isn't that nice yeah I think he's out of here shot oh where is he outside in the front no in the back no no yeah Tijuana Tijuana yeah that's in Mexico what's he doing in Mexico Julio went down on a little short vacation oh when did they decide to do that oh uh quite certainly when last month so you called me up last slide and invited me to have dinner with you at Lamont knowing Lamont wouldn't be here right or wrong for me to know it for you to find out all right right you found out let's have a little kiss first all the time wouldn't you when do you prefer the taste of wine on my lips well I I like to try it both ways see I'm a comparison Fred Fred the door I'd rather kiss you someone knocking on it it's all right it is at the door shut up Noah [Applause] who is it [Applause] yes to who a I can't open the door [Applause] [Music] all right [Music] hello Esther when my mom's away the rat will play foreign [Applause] I want to discuss something with you tomorrow now and I want to discuss it alone well uh listen I do not go in the kitchen and let her discuss it alone if you both excuse me for a moment now there goes a lady friend yes sir [Applause] your niece is in town What knees niece you're only niece and she's here to go to college in USC and she's staying with me right now well that's good I agree and you can leave [Applause] she's supposed to get her own apartment but it's not ready yet and she need a place to stay for a few nights so are you asking me of course not I'm telling you she can use his room yeah but he's coming back see that's why I got the table all set there I can hit a truck now that's him Fred yes the Lamont's not on his way back now Frank you can't turn the poor child out on the cold she needs a place to stay well well she's related to her is she well that automatically gives a one night free lodging with the dog catcher I'll be back within a half an hour straighten up the kitchen straightening up her room and straighten up the bathroom and straighten up all right come on honey we got but half hour I'm not hungry the food is rotten and the time is right I don't know what you're talking about a more or more half an hour well give me one or more and owe me one quick dinner and then I'll help you straighten up the things here okay I should never open that door oh but you had to I didn't it shouldn't be a longest answer being on the streets it is sidewalk [Music] original signs that curb your dog yes operator Tijuana Mexico yes it's a it's an exclusive Hotel let's see uh Pancho Villa they're very exclusive it's uh right upstairs station that's right in the alley behind the boomerang [Applause] it's right thank you sure hope it's a must here so he'd come on home this girl won't have nowhere to stay hello Lamar that's you sir listen listen do you have a lot of fun yeah well come on yeah I think it's the big one yes sir like it should instead of going it's going bumpity something no I swear son listen you had to leave me let's do it now put the phone in my heart listen did you hear inside yeah the sun hurry up here Rush what meter needs Elizabeth say hello to your friend Elizabeth hello Uncle Fred Elizabeth I'm named after I'm Elizabeth you know she died the year before I was born [Music] that's what my daddy says thanks so much for letting me stay here it will smell like a lizard go get a bag and stop smelling them [Laughter] thank you [Music] Uncle Fred coming morning did you sleep good last night oh yeah wow you know you really fixed up this place beautifully yeah well I'm sorry about the way it looked last night I usually keep the place pretty tidy but I just uh separated things because I've had everything up well you know uh Anna has to tell me this place usually looks like a junkyard outside and inside yeah this is humor and she noticed that as most people it's just humor looked like they've been pushed in the face by Mean Joe Greene [Applause] what is that I smell smells so good oh that's bean sauce instead of spaghetti Uncle Fred we having spaghetti for breakfast no I need for dinner a beef spaghetti collard greens and spam almondine oh well uh Uncle Fred I can't eat here tonight see I'm meeting my roommates for dinner well why can't you meet him after dinner oh um because we have so many things to arrange and talk about it everything well well then why don't you do this why don't you invite them over here it says I'm like your father in Los Angeles it'll be a pleasure for me to meet your friends uh it'll be too much trouble really no no I'll just make sauce that's too much work no I can handle it I just add two more cups of water uh with it it's trouble from P1 [Applause] hello hello sir what are you doing here what am I doing here you don't want to call me remember but I'm okay now you're going back to Tijuana go back to tier one I drove here as fast as I could because you said you were sick and by the way who's this young lady I'm your cousin Elizabeth oh wow you're here to go to USC aren't you right and LaMont thanks a lot for letting me use your room that's okay I'll take the couch no tell it you stay in the room and I'll sleep on the couch no problem listen is there like you're going to wash up and I put another cup of water on the stuff we're having spaghetti yeah see uh Elizabeth's friend is coming over for dinner and uh I want everything right Uncle Fred about dinner I'm not sure hey Lamont tell her what a good cook I am uh when it comes to his sauce the more water the better yeah so that that sells it uh your friends here for dinner at six I go in here and put my water home [Laughter] this is gonna be a very interesting dinner yeah well it always is when my pop is cooking hey you know you look a little like my mom you know that's what he said you're very lucky to have him as a father you think so oh sure it doesn't matter if I can spend a little more to you than a father more like a father and the mother and a few other things Uncle Fred right now getting bring your roommates in oh okay come on Romy hey get ready to shoot a circle ain't gonna get crazy when you tell him I'm one of your roomies oh I'm pretty sure see he's not at all like on Esther because he's very modern and witty and up-to-date yeah I can tell that by the way he furnished this place good evening welcome and my house is yours what do we do wrong sorry that's okay we just got here ourselves Uncle Fred Lamont I want you I want you to meet Lewis and Dolores yeah available Dolores fascinating well thank you very much I I did it my way no decorator huh no I admit though I took a few ideas from home and garbage I mean [Applause] this you're Louis yes I know well Luisa welcome to Elizabeth's home away from home you and Lewis married uh no huh no Mr Stafford hey Pop Free is on the third degree man no this is just social conversation she is like uh breaking ice cheating and chat Elizabeth your girlfriend no sir I know it's just a boyfriend is that it well that's right yeah that's all right to have a boyfriend or girlfriend even you know that's the date yesterday and I try to stay with today's views you know what I mean uh Now where's your other roommate Lewis is our other roommate I mean uh Louis is your other roommate Miss Lewis yeah that's right moms that's today that might be the day but damn if it's gonna be tomorrow foreign [Applause] [Music] there's nothing between a other than me that's what I'm worried about ain't nothing between I wouldn't mind if something was between you like a wall or a state but I'm surprised at you maybe my father would feel better if he understood the relationship between the three of y'all I Dolores and Lewis and I are equal friends now what does that mean that means I wouldn't do nothing with Lewis that I couldn't do with Dolores I mean we'll be we'll be taking our meals together and we'll be studying together that's right and Lewis is very handy he can fix things around the apartment and stuff but when it comes to anything else he's got his dates and I got mine yeah and I got mine and uh anytime you want to be one of them give me a call yeah right [Applause] open up we living in Detroit now the bus and join us okay [Music] uh Esther hi honey hello Mama how's Mexico it was fun on Esther but I had to cut my my visit short yeah why don't you do the same thing uh I asked him this is Dolores Markham hiya how do you do it's a pleasure to meet a friend of my niece and who is this ah this is Louis yeah he's a friend of this from school I thought you said you had two roommates Elizabeth oh wait a minute no answer she didn't says yet two roommates she said she had two roommate what you talking about well you know High stuff is now a single girl can't afford to live alone she got the roommate so uh Dolores here is the girl in the Elizabeth picked a roommate with oh it's very nice on Esther as a matter of fact it'll be ready tomorrow I'm coming over to help you decorate tomorrow you are yes what's your address uh honestly how about something to eat yeah Esther why don't you go out there in the yard and breathe [Applause] okay [Music] but she's only living 10 minutes away you can visit her whenever you want to hello just don't see me singing without it having a daughter she reminded your mom didn't she you know Papa your own way you're kind of sweet and sentimental you know what she said she said I'm cute and cuddly why didn't you never see I was too [Laughter] too hot cheer up man I'll get it hello uh hi on Esther sure oh no I can't today I'm using the truck hey pop artist wants to go over and visit Elizabeth oh hold on Esther listen Esther uh this it's wrong to just drop in on people you know if the girl ain't got no phone yet you just can't make the most popcorn calls yeah just just don't bother about it uh why'd you wait till a decent time to visit the girl like uh 3 30 in the afternoon in the year 2001. no hey don't get angry this is volunteers this can you keep a secret [Applause] I got to get on over there to find out is that Elizabeth is living with a man you found out Elizabeth I couldn't I couldn't do this be like I'd be an accessory oh look oh this is nine oh it's a picture of my little brother you know my dad framed this himself Hey listen to you guys I'm gonna take a shower I'll be right out when's the landlord gonna fix this door not to this afternoon shower curtain is up though oh good you know we were really lucky to get our roommate so fast after Lewis's mother said that he couldn't stay here with us apartment [Applause] well she said she was coming over so what I mean why are you so excited uh well where's your other roommate in the shower huh you mean he's in that thing the shot with the dude uh Uncle Fred maybe I should try again hello uh Esther what are you doing here uh I can't move it because my shower is broke and I came over here all right [Laughter] [Applause] [Music] finish stripping all over the river I got some more things downstairs you want to go and get I can't believe it um no it's too heavy out here here try your head fool it's amazing I can't believe it well try to tell you I'm sorry I was a fool what are you talking about I mean we acted yesterday and then rushing over here today who else I make you a fool you know all this time I could have sworn that Lewis in there [Music] hey Pop I was just coming home and I saw your clothes hanging up on the line man how did they get wet if I if I told you why wouldn't I believe you wouldn't because I told you I got whipped trying to keep somebody from being embarrassed you say I was lying no I wouldn't yes you would if I told you that I got wet trying to do good for somebody else you'd laugh at me no why wouldn't I tell me what happened well here's what happened crossing the Los Angeles River over here you know and uh this is about halfway across I looked over into the water and that was on Esther struggling in the water and she was going under for the fifth or sixth time so that's when I made my mind up I jumped into the water and tried to throw as many fish up on the land as I could so you would get a chance to seeing that's his face [Music] how did your clothes get wet I was down in Long Beach foreign [Music] [Applause] [Music] thank you [Music] so my Empire is crumble oh no this is oh yeah I want to report a break in they're breaking my house and I'm breaking my horse what location I said about three inches on the left of his tail yeah well you another one real mama [Music] so what's the matter bro I had a break in nobody broke in here well what is this a self-inflicted rule there was a small earthquake last night a few things got you know shook around I must have slept right through it thank goodness it was just an earthquake what do you mean just an earthquake not just an earthquake this place is solid as a rock a fortress like they say they only made of clay is here to stay back [Laughter] oh my God [Laughter] [Music] [Applause] it's all I will probably feel fine thank you how are you yeah [Applause] it's a good thing we don't live closer to the San Andreas Fault it could have been a lot worse how did it be worse look at all my stuff is broken the Wall's all cracked oh no look at my antique chair my lawyer to forty at 50 and 16 seconds [Music] try to compose yourself yeah cause these earthquakes is hard on a fella I understand happy to move out here including degrees of California to shake and bake USA foreign truly nothing much to be concerned about Mr Sanford he's merely experiencing a mild gastrointestinal imbalance precipitated by acute anti-gravitational pull in the abdominal cavity I Gotta Throw off ah that might be all right I'm just a little seasick from the earthquake yeah David Jordan Lamont have read this morning's paper the article about the two of Russia at least two Russian seismologists said they've discovered a new fault oh what's wrong with Owen and predicting a massive earthquake on nov November 6th that's only five days a week don't worry about a thing pop it's not possible oh no I've made a difference in Lamar today is November the 1st and it's extremely possible that November 6th is only five days away excuse me was the the massive earthquake is unlikely to happen oh that's good wow thank you you know none of the American experts agree with the Russian experts either way they say come on here's the newspaper should be an article right here on the front page reprinted courtesy of that fantastically respected publication Pravda now according to the two commie pinkos here in the San Fernando vet cuts down the same oh do you know what that is that's where you get out of your car and cut off your Slawson cheers slices into Watts right past 9114 South Central turns Eastward did you say 91-14 this is 91 14 South Central holy moly I am standing on a potential earthquake that is bad luck you know what they say step on a crack break their mother's back so long so long right Hey sir come on give me a head covering up some of these cracks even before the people get in to see the house hey Pop you're not selling this house who said anything about selling it I'm unloaded on the first sucker to make me off and then were you what are you gonna do where you gonna live there oh probably Nevada you know I've been looking at some prime ocean front property yeah Nevada isn't on the ocean it will be after the queen I'm not going to Nevada okay you got three days before Q day to think about it Steve Mr sucker Josh and get them all out here in case there's another trimmer I'm not gonna have anything to do with this where the Johnsons from Kansas City yeah I mean the Johnsons come right in I'll come right in I'll show you right over here come on we'll move let me move uh this is the kitchen over here and this is the living room this is 15 by eight it was built in 1921 and in 1965. when they repainted the place all this furniture is original reproduction of something this is the bedroom second bedroom sunroof bathroom hey excuse me [Applause] thank you hey you gonna take it I think I'd like to see it first well I've seen enough maybe it's it's perfect Mr Sanford I can reel reload my junk business here with no problem at all good good Leonard are you crazy this place looks like an earthquake hit it again [Laughter] what but what was that oh that watch Subway and here to watch slime that was it I didn't know Los Angeles had a Subway yes they'll be trying to keep it a secret because we don't want no overcrowding now I don't accept any reasonable offer but I'll give you eleven thousand I was thinking more like 22 and I won't take a cent less than 22 now come on and it's all said I'll meet you tomorrow at the escrow office now uh may I call a cab Leonard why don't we just take the subway that's a good idea I don't talk to the subway right on out there where's the nearest subway station in Sanford it's just a walk East no [Music] just one day then then you could come back after after the disaster what it say if it's safe come come back to what the house is in escrow and it will be in the ocean the house wouldn't be ours in 10 days come on get that mud off your feet anything else yeah I just did my mirrors wipe that nugget off your face [Applause] you better watch out all your life if the Lord want to strike you down he'll find you even if you have to go to Las Vegas they're not going to Las Vegas this weekend because Frank's nuts in town and all the rules are filled it'll pop on that's just right man when your time comes it comes earthquake and Earth [Music] a time to sow and a time to read the time to shut up and it's time to creep out foreign I think you're acting foolish your mother and I know we're gonna have a son there's no difference between careful and foolish we'd have been a little bit more careful that foolish like 35 years ago [Music] [Music] thank you foreign [Music] [Music] [Music] [Applause] thank you well have you married women look like you'd have no money get a bad fans go way down to the floor Sportsman these are my tennis shorts well I'm a sportsman too yeah you want to see my jacket shorts I used to like you [Music] doing [Music] hey wait a minute just a second uh Stephen uh I'm in Antiques and you really look good all right [Music] wait a minute I got 25 cent in there [Music] a little bit well maybe you need the money all right all right hello oh yeah afraid I'll accept the charges iPod hey come on I've been trying to reach you all night I know I was out on the three I just came in God's word about how's the damage what damage oh it was no damage from the earthquake didn't happen man the time is up you can come home now which [Applause] stop it now get on the bus and come home I can't I don't have no fan I lost all my money well I don't know what to tell you probably took all the money we had here now I know I know who came back [Music] I need a steak a nickel or dime I got nothing but quarter I know where I get a quarter it's my own money get out of here before you go to jail I lost my money I'm going to jail oh Elizabeth I'm coming join you honey I'll be the one that's weird [Music] foreign [Music] [Applause] [Music] friends if money's free without us [Music] ing you down [Music] foreign hey what's the matter with you probably look like you've been in an accident worse what could be worse than being in an accident being on a chicken truck well I hate to say I Told You So pop it at your own fault no it's not as the Russian fault it probably said something didn't deliver we should sue them for what failure to deliver the quiver why don't you just forget about it pop and chalk it up to experience and the next time don't believe everything you read yeah sorry Spirits I saw all my merchandise for less than I paid for it and I lost Overland in Las Vegas then I went to jail to try it out you were drunk no no no it was three cars in the fountain and I jumped in got mine out of it I absolutely you what while you were gone I called it the Johnsons and I told them why you wanted to sell and they said if we didn't give them the money back they were going to sue us for misrepresentation seems it is a law in this state against what you did yeah call them earthquake a Subway laws I did learn something son and I'm sorry that I said that she was created and the Jews are dummy because when you call those Johnsons back and it got our house back [Laughter] foreign thank you [Applause] why don't you call him Johnson's back and I said in the house for a thousand dollars calling yourself baby going Las Vegas [Applause] [Music] thank you [Music] [Laughter] [Music] [Applause] thank you [Music] well let's see how we did this week got 10.50 for the lamp paid 4.98 for it less 75 cent for the bulb seven percent tax total profit on the lamp 36 386.54 total loss on the computer 3.95. come in [Music] what's the matter on Esther you might pull me a shot of booze out of what just an ounce of alcohol please please I mean I've never seen you drink before my hair yeah [Applause] this stuff is made really big but not as big as I thought okay now is there something wrong you want to tell me what's the matter that man is the most miserable low down sneaks sliding snakes keep your voice down on this he's upstairs sleeping I ain't talking about your father oh you and Woody had a fight huh drinking and smoking ain't so bad but the way he looks at other women is disgusting it can't be that bad oh no when he walked down the street I had to put a bib on him to keep it from drooling all over yourself [Music] why does he want to look at other women look I tell you what look everything is going to be okay all right now we'll go for a walk and we'll talk it over and you'll feel a lot better you'll see Lamont you are a fine young man yeah but I feel so sorry for your fun you feel sorry for my father why you feel sorry for my phone because even the I never had a drop of alcohol in my life I know cheap liquor when I taste [Music] in the Box come on come on in I said come on here everybody [Music] oh I just have some juice you know ah I think I've lost the will to live but you ain't lost your will to drink why are you so upset uh Esther and I just had to fight the end all facts but you put you in the face let me do it for you you don't pray I think it's designed through wait a minute not through that's too much now that's serious business yeah well I know it's serious but I've had enough look 30 years 30 years of marriage and you know in marriage vitals go off the street you know through sickness and through health and uh the better or worse and the main thing is just do us part I didn't know what I think of that what killer you know the one thing that really drives me crazy the way I should always accuse me of running around with other women Fred I really want to make my man friend I'm asking you as a friend okay then now here's what to do uh food around what I mean I fooled around for real food around just food around uh to make uh jealous and then she'll that'll make you appealing to her and she wants you back I can see the two of you back together now appealing and appalling oh my God that's no good break I I don't know any girls you don't want to leave that to ready Freddy I mean let me get my back look out you gotta look like in here 15 years of the biggest hits including some oldies and some goodies it sure is huge you you sure know a lot of women know any diffusion it says I don't know too many women but I just got lined up here and listed three different ways see in alphabetical order then I got them in sizes and then according to their most recent performance it's no use spread I'll never be a Romeo like you well that's true you sending me the time you want to hey look here I think I think I met a girl the other day be perfect for you oh really yeah see I met in the supermarket see I was in here buying some corn and she's advising lima beans and we both each other and immediately Circle attacks this is right here uh Laverne Gomez part French and part Indian Hispanics and I need the best part for you I got a phone number well I don't know Fred maybe I'm maybe I'm acting a little Hasty you know maybe I still knows that's bad yes she is she's dead with it I'll tell you the truth Vanessa was a little girl a guy drove up beside her and offered her some suckers to get under his car hey Fred now Esther's still my wife well you have my sympathy I just go ahead and call the girl here well all right but but what am I going to say to her well you know it said don't just be nice let's mean thing see the trick is these girls just to relax and don't try to put on no heirs just be calm okay hello there yes this is Baron de Sanford now A friend of mine and uh according to his actions I'm sure he got the hot to talk [Applause] yes now go ahead and make a dick with her and I'll go fix a spot of coffee okay hello lover uh he just alert Woody here yes uh I'm fine thank you I would love to meet you too yeah you feeling any better on Esther oh I think so you know maybe when I can work something out he's not such a bad man you know I'm sure everything is going to be just fine on us now look let's go on Alice and I'll get the keys to the truck I'm driving home all right all right I feel better [Laughter] you know that's really funny you know you have a great sense of humor say listen uh why don't you drop by sometime hello guys and fix the leak under the kitchen [Applause] [Music] would you please forgive me it was all my fault but just forget it Esther maybe we can try again huh well if you cut down on drinking and smoking I promise I won't be jealous of you and other women and find me appealing huh well it might be pretty hard but sure okay perfect oh hey now that's what I'd like to see that's that's beautiful yes what are you doing here I mean what am I doing here well Wolf Woman don't usually come out hey papa don't you dig yourself man can't you see that Uncle Woody and all that stuff back together again yeah oh well then you won't be wanting this coffee Woody why not well you don't want to be staying awake married to that that's enough with the EXO spread I'm going home with my wife come on you tell them baby we going home hello [Music] go get some cement we'll make us a statue laughs [Applause] [Music] hey wait a minute where you going I will not stay in that house with this man no more mama can I sleep in your room sure [Music] [Applause] stop Fred Sanford lies here 1908 1975 from an overdose of ugly he sure ain't talking to me huh and what you want me to do fell on us down the street [Music] [Applause] back to normal well that's good if you don't say nothing to her and she don't say nothing to you it won't be no argue good morning good morning on Esther I hope you slept well last night yes I did thank you sit down I'll give you a cup of coffee thank you [Music] thank you [Applause] [Applause] mama Hulu couch I know you haven't been in years poor little walls I feel so sorry for you they have to stay here and hear the language that comes out of this house you ought to be glad you ain't got no eyes to see who's talking to you [Applause] won't you move your smelly old big flag get the nap Up on the Roof enough on your head wow you all being eaten they take a jackass I thought you two wasn't gonna talk to each other but son I wasn't gonna say a word but she came down here and tried to turn myself in wall against me you listen listen your ears [Applause] [Music] thank you hello I heard about your aunt and uncle so I thought I'd drop by to see if I could be of some assistance when I heard the disheartening clamor of a personal altercation it was hurt it was him her him just stop it Lamont I believe we have here of 4 15 what's a 4 15. unsolved domestic squabble now Mrs Anderson I should know that we policemen are specifically trained in the psychological problems and aggressive tendencies between espoused couples so now why don't you why don't you try to settle your little differences amicably and intellectually what you should do is run right home look your husband straight in the face and sing it's so nice to have a man around the house that was just a little love madcap musicality you know that I threw in I try to ease the tension a bit too because is going to get a divorce and she'll be staying right here with you but uh well probably for no more than six months oh no six months son call for his lawn and tell him I'm calm cool and ready to be collected these police cars written in crayons but see they didn't do it yet but I'm getting these two love birds together so I can get that Buzzard out of my house well I see you still haven't learned your lesson sure I am look where I got the bouquets right here so see it's sitting right there in front of Esther's face so it wouldn't have to see it all right I just don't want to have nothing to do with it I'm going upstairs and get cleaned up I don't know what I'm doing come on in hey buddy hey friend say I got this invitation to dinner for a master oh isn't that wonderful this is so lovable so warm she's such a such a such a thing yeah yeah listen to this Fred roses are red mustards are green come over for dinner and we'll lick our flakes clean [Music] I'm happy Oysters Rockefeller let's get it on the glass and for dessert something got nibble uh Twinkies flambe listen to get together enjoy yourself oh Fred you didn't have to go to all this truck I know that just enjoy the champagne then darling champagne the best without the best from your husband Woody French wine Straight From The Vineyards of JCPenney's [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] foreign [Applause] [Music] [Applause] afraid Lamont I'm happy to announce that astronaut getting back together and see that thing I knew what I was doing Fred Sanford the King of Hearts come here hi I'm Jackie Laverne system the jacket reverse system that's right she said that's a fella over here who wants to swing foreign it's no mistake I'd like you to meet Fred Sanford your Gypsy Prince [Applause] [Applause] I got lots of cash cows [Applause] thank you [Applause] cuddles David I'll ask the call man she said everything is fine at home at her and Uncle witty how was your day with Jackie fluid a disaster movie where yeah Sound of Music the sound of music is not a disaster movie it is when you're walking down the highway jacket and she slipped on a Milky Way and crushed me and us to death [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] thank you [Laughter] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music]

Channel: Nur Gardening TV

Views: 115,358

Keywords: Sanford and Son, Sanford and Son arthur, Sanford and Son full episodes, three's company, threes company, Sanford and Son then and now, Sanford and Son cast then and now, Sanford and Son theme, Sanford and Son tv show, The Jeffersons, The Jefferson, The Jeffersons full episodes, The Jeffersons pilot, Sanford and Son 2023, best of Sanford and Son, Sanford and Son Full Episodes, The Jeffersons Full Episodes, The Jeffersons 2023, Team HP

Id: m7mW-M_Knxk

Length: 96min 14sec (5774 seconds)

Published: Mon May 29 2023