Sammy J & Randy - 2016 The Big Three Oh!

Tommy Little: Now it is time to go absolutely wild, for Sammy J & Randy!!! Randy: WOAHHHH How's that for an entrance? Sammy J: Look at that! R: How's that for an entrance??? SJ: Hello! What a thrill it is to be here celebrating 30 years of the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. R: Oh! It's so exciting to commemorate the occasion with my skinny compadre Sammy J and I thought we would play our favourite number uno song. Sammy J: It's called the black and white song. R: Oh, I love the black and white song. Both sing: Black and white song, black and white song, black and white, black and white, black and white song. R: It's a good song! SJ: A good song R: It's a good song. SJ: It's a strong song. R: It's a solid song SJ: It's that sort of strong comedic material the Melbourne Comedy Festival has been encouraging for three decades now. R: Hmm but it's not just the Festival itself it's the people of Melbourne you know. R: The people in Melbourne are getting behind the Festival you know. R: Because the people in Melbourne, they're always so welcoming. SJ: Very welcoming. R: The people in Melbourne are sooooo welcoming. SJ: Very much. One female audience member was being particularly welcoming to you last night Randy! R: Yeah we're not gonna talk about that... SJ: I note R: Yep. SJ: From the hotel room next to yours. R: Moving on. SJ: Paper thin walls separating us R: Gonna leave that there. SJ: Sounds like she was welcoming you all night long. R: Not going to talk about it. SJ: Welcoming your whole body. R: Keep it to yourself SJ: Welcoming your whole brains out. R: Hush now. SJ: What was her name Randy? R: Lucy. SJ: Lucy Littleton? R: Lovely Lucy Littleton. *crowd laughs* SJ: Lovely Lucy Littleton who lives down Lancefield Lane? R: LOL *crowd laughs* SJ: Larry Listerfield likes Lucy Littleton. R: Larry Listerfield left it too late. SJ: Lucy's leading Larry on. R: Leave Lucy alone!! SJ: Lucy's lying to Larry! R: Lose the liturgical lesson Lord Lovington. *crowd laughs* SJ: Logically Lucy loves Larry. R: Look, Larry's left longing in the loins. *crowd laughs* SJ: Lucy's lampooning Larry's limb...? R: Larry's little legless lizard left Lucy lethargic. *crowd laughs* SJ: Lucy labelled Larry lacklustre?? R: Larry's a loser! SJ: Larry's lack of life skills led to loving lager, leaving a litany of lawyers lined like lemmings lusting for litigation. R: Ohh! Leave Lucy alone lest Lucy learn that loneliness leaves lovely ladies lamenting lost liaisons. SJ: I'm literally largely lost. R: Lucy let me lick her labia. *crowd laughs* SJ: Leaping Lucifer! R: I loved lapping little Lucy's little lovely lactating lagoon. *crowd laughs* SJ: Lucy Littleton's a Labrador. R: Yeah, I'm not proud of that. *crowd laughs* *music plays* SJ & R sing: Do do do do do do do do. Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh aah aah aah aah SJ: It was a Monday when we took the car and drove it to the shops. R: I think it was a Tuesday. SJ: I'm pretty sure it wasn't. No, you're right it was Tuesday. Both: Coz Derrick had the permit. R: It's a clearway on a Monday. SJ: Yeah but we parked there Both: so it must have been a Tuesday. SJ: When we took the car... R: Did Derrick give that permit back? SJ: He said he'd leave it when he went to Queensland. R: We should chase that up. SJ: We will. Both: Still SJ: we were in the car. Driving to the shops. R: I'm serious that permit wasn't cheap! SJ: Relax we'll get the permit back. R: That's what you said about the vacuum cleaner! SJ: Well that was different he's got allergies. R: Like what?!? SJ: You saw the rash. R: It's eczema. SJ: He has to clean the carpet because his cats got hairy bollocks. R: He should get that thing desexed. SJ: He can't. He breeds them it's his way of coping with a difficult divorce R: As far as I can see his only allergy is giving back the sh*t he borrows from his neighbours. SJ: So we were driving north. R: I mean the guy can still afford to go to Noosa. SJ: Yeah, what's your point? R: He should just buy a vacuum cleaner!! SJ: Look, I lent it in good faith. How was I to know he'd take it interstate and give it to his niece. For her first communion. R: I didn't know he had a niece. SJ: It's complicated. See his sister had a friend that died she's barren so she felt obliged to care for her. R: So it's not actually his niece? SJ: Well not by blood. R: That's even worse. I can't believe he gave our vacuum cleaner to a random stranger! SJ: So we were driving north. R: South. SJ: South towards the... R: North? SJ: But it was Northern Suburbs. R: South. Both: That's right the map was upside down. But we got there in the end. SJ: Parked outside the fish and chip shop. R: For a chop? SJ: Milk bar? R: Hardware? SJ: Baked goods? Both: No haberdashery. It's next door R: to the house and home shop. SJ: We went in and bought a vacuum cleaner. Both: When we came outside we had a parking fine. R: Because Derrick had the permit. SJ: He said he'd give it back. R: He didn't! SJ: Evidently R: I won't be patronised. SJ: I'm trying to tell a f*cking story. R: Well tell it then! SJ: I will. R: Good! SJ: I'm telling it right now. R: Well go on tell it the... SJ: Yes, I'm trying t... R: Just f*cking tell it SJ: Fine I'll tell it! SJ: We were driving home after the shops. R: But when we pulled into the driveway. SJ: Felt a bump. R: Got out. Both: And realised we'd run over Derrick's cat Both: Who was being held by Derrick at the time. We took the permit from his cold dead hand and ran away. Good times. *crowd applause* SJ: Thanks Melbourne!! R: Happy Birthday baby!!! Tommy Little: Give it up for Sammy J and Randy!!

Channel: TheMelbComedyFest

Views: 1,436,420

Keywords: Sammy J & Randy, Melbourne International Comedy Festival, The Big Three Oh, The Comedy Channel, Comedy Channel, Big Three Oh, Comedy, stand up, comedy competition, Micf, Stand up, comedy, funny, comedy festival, Melbourne, Melbourne comedy, Melbourne international comedy festival, festival, just for laughs, Edinburgh fringe, gala, comedy gala, Australian comedy, aussie comedy, comedy central, funny video, sammy j, randy feltface, musical comedy, ricketts lane

Id: TqkKPT-fUJk

Length: 4min 48sec (288 seconds)

Published: Sun Jun 26 2016

Reddit Comments

[u/toast888]

"The guy can still afford to go to Noosa"