[Pearl Means] Well, I think it's important
to understand, to begin with gender roles are important. You know in Western society that's
looked ... frowned upon, but in indigenous societies we have very real gender roles that we
adhere to. So that's how we begin to define who we are, what our responsibility is and create the the
boundaries for that. [Interviewer] In your way, what is the feminine role and what is
the masculine role? [Pearl Means] Well, we're charged with giving life, maintaining
life, sustaining life. So that involves wellness - emotional wellness, nurturing, the
foods that we feed ourselves and our families, the responsibility of nurturing our children and
recognizing that our men need nurturing. Nurturing is a natural inherent characteristic for women
because we are capable of giving life. With the male it has to be learned. So we recognize that
with our men and our young males. So the first few years of a young males life is surrounded
by the mother, the auntie's, the grandmother, so that they can feel and learn of the nurturing
and love before they go off to become a boy, and a young man. [Interviewer] And within your
marriage, if you could just briefly to talk to us about what is the balance within your
marriage with the masculine and the feminine, of the matriarchal and the patriarchal? [Pearl
Means] Well we ... because we recognize the difference - we honor the differences, we can
celebrate the differences. I recognize my husband strengths and I try not to argue with them, and at
the same time my husband recognizes and celebrates my strengths. So there's ... it eliminates any
competition. And males we know are very pragmatic, they are very strategic thinkers, problem solvers
and that's what they're they're charged with. And because we as women, we have an inherent
power that you can't necessarily see or define, but you can feel it. And when you operate within
that power, and that's very much respected in indigenous societies - in fact, in Western
society, women after the second change of life are discarded. Yet in our societies, that's when
we really become fully recognized and celebrated. And because we're at that point coming from
a perspective of experience. We're no longer dealing with the hormonal changes and imbalances,
so we're able to be more critical thinkers and we have ... we always maintain that woman power that
guides us and directs us. So we really hold a celebrated part in our society, as well as our
relationships amongst our families. The clans, the individual, normally it's the eldest female of
that clan has the last word. So there's a lot of respect. [Interviewer] We could learn from that!
Mr. Means, tell me about your wife's strength? [Russell Means] Well first, I want to say
something about ... men go from diaper to diaper. Simple fact, you need a woman at the
beginning a life to take care of you and at the end of your. And if you're foolish enough
not to recognize that throughout your life, you'll never know love, as a male, you'll never
know love. And that's the one thing I appreciate. You know there ... a mother's love doesn't stop
with her children, it goes to her mate and to be recipient ... excuse me ... of that deep love,
that is stronger than I could ever hope to be. Wow! I am so blessed. I am so blessed. And recognizing that as a male, I will always
throughout every portion of my life need nurturing, you know. And you can't get it by
yourself. You can't get it from the mirror. You only get it from your life mate. And I like I say,
I'm so blessed. I've made a lot of mistakes in my life, but at least, with my Pearl, I've been ...
the great mystery has watched over me. And I ... you know, I'm a typical little boy. I
struggle against some of her wisdoms and, 'No, I don't want to do it that way.'
And then I start feeling a little bit sheepish and I realize she was right, you
know. So I make a decision based on that. The guidance that the females give to the male
never stops from diaper to diaper. And the women do not go from diaper diaper. They go from
diaper to a full flower and a beauty. We men ... we have shorter life expectancy. So that's
why indigenous society, matriarchal society, matrilineal way of living is based on a lot
of intricacies. For instance, we men do not marry until their feet, their mature body is
firmly planted on the ground -they have their path ahead of them for the rest of their life -
then they look for a woman. A contemporary woman, no that woman's already been married and had kids.
He looks for the young woman who is entering her first budding of flowerhood to marry, because in
matrilineal living you understand you're going to live a shorter life, who's going to take
care of you? You need a mother at all times. Now to a patriarch, that sounds ... that
sounds ridiculous. And even to the female patriarch that sounds ridiculous, 'Well, you give
us all the work and all the responsibility.' Hey, you're the only human being that goes through
two changes of life. It gets more beautiful with each stage of your life. We men don't
get to go through that, we don't get to understand the completeness of nurturing.
You know, we never outgrow our childhood.
