r/Trueoffmychest My Wife Cheated on Me with a Clown!

welcome to r slash true off my chest where op's wife cheats on him with a literal clown our next reddit poses from mike's throwaway for me it's humiliating enough to get cheated on by my wife but in my own home with the clown that we hired for our son's birthday okay i realized the initial amusing nature of this idea and if it had happened to anyone else i'd probably laugh my wife insisted on hiring a clown for my son's birthday despite my protest because hey who the f hires clowns anymore and b i have a mild fear of clowns i gave in to my wife because i love her and now that's the biggest regret of my life she was pissy at me all day and she disappeared during the party around the same time that our clown was on break i'll skip the details but i put the pieces together pretty quickly i'm currently sleeping in the guest house i just needed to vent and then because people were begging op for details op posted an update okay okay i'll try to keep my cool because this whole thing feels so ridiculous and like i said i'm humiliated i had noticed that my wife and the clown were chatting in the kitchen right after his break he was making her laugh which i guess he's paid to do it didn't seem overly flirtatious so i went about enjoying the party later when i returned to the kitchen neither of them were there i wandered around the party looking for my wife not too concerned with where the clown was at all anyway i eventually hid to the study and she literally this is where it gets ridiculous had some clown makeup on her lip and cheek i pointed it out to her and she wiped it off without explanation then she escorted me away from the study a few minutes later i was with an eyeline of my study and the clown peeks his head out and then waltzes back into the party he finished his shift but he seemed more distracted and he kept glancing over at my wife who was clapping with the kids once the party ended i noticed something peeking out at the top of her dress being suspicious i took it out and it was the clown's business card tucked into her bra that's when i confronted her and she confessed almost immediately down in the comments fog for days says exactly what i was thinking i had a co-worker insist to his wife that they hire an elsa impersonator you know the character from frozen he had been sleeping with her for six months prior sorry but i have to agree with other people in this thread that she was sleeping with the clown before the party yeah i agree opie it's just a little like suspicious strange like who insists on hiring a clown anymore in 2022 our next credit post is from throwaway sleigh the title of the post is my late boyfriend's memorial picture that his family posts whenever they talk about him was his reaction to my boobs the picture is beautiful he had glowing blue eyes and the most beautiful smile the sun was shining on his golden blonde hair he'd look like an angel in the picture the smile that had been used in every facebook and instagram post was induced by me flashing him to get a nice picture i forgot about it entirely until i saw it in an old facebook post so now the picture that his family keeps posting of him on social media is his genuine reaction to his girlfriend's boobs i think that's exactly how he would have wanted to be remembered opie i think you're taking the subreddit name true off your chest a bit literally here our next reddit post is from clean stable and the title of the post is tomorrow i'm going to ruin his life i've been with him for three years now we planned on getting married when our lives settled down i wanted to start a family with him i loved him more than anyone else in this world i've sacrificed so much for him i've moved away from my home turned down jobs so i could stay with him and stood by his side as he went back to school i gave him my world and then he cheats on me i found out over a month ago the scumbag got cocky and i found out he was cheating on me with two different women one is a teaching assistant at his university and the other is his best friend's girlfriends i am livid i'm writing this pose choking back venom i loved him so much he was my world but now he's gonna be the world that i burn to nothing but ash i pay for everything since he quit his job last year to go to school i was more than happy to help him i make enough money to support both of us the only upside is that the student loans are in his name with no connection to me it'll financially hurt me to push this scumbag out to sea but i'll survive i've held out for a month enough time to create what i call the day that his world burns tomorrow we're hosting a party i arrange for his family to come but my family sadly won't be able to make it i've packed everything valuable already and the suitcases in the back of my car my brother will come to the event tomorrow to take back the car that's in my name that this dirtbag drives to my parents house our joint account which is all my money anyway is already empty this event is going to be great he thinks it is for us to announce our engagement to his family what will actually happen is that i'm gonna dump him i've already taken a job out of state and have lined up a new place to live i'll start by telling everyone what he's into the screenshots of him asking his friend's girlfriend to pee on him and i'll also announce all the other degenerate fantasies that his deranged mind came up with i'll hand him the notice to vacate because i've already broken our lease he'll need to be out by the end of the month i'll then tell him that i've told the university that he's sleeping with one of his teaching assistants and it's too bad that i won't see the fallout from that his friend also has a message for him that i'll deliver informing him that his friend group never wants to see him again as well and with that i'll leave i will not look back i will set his life on fire and walk away okay so for this next story before i start telling the story i'm gonna tell a story from my own life because it'll provide some important context for this upcoming story when i was in college i had a creative writing class and this one guy in class wrote about a wedding and in the story he said something like oh man you see that flower girl she's so hot i hope i can get her number after the wedding or something like that and all the girls in the class were acting really like weird around the guy who had wrote that in a story and we found out later from the teacher when he read the story aloud to the class that the reason for that is because flower girls are typically children in weddings i didn't know this the guy who wrote the story didn't know this and most of the guys in the class didn't know this however most of the girls in the class did know this so all the girls are like what why does this character in the story want to get the phone number of some child so anyways i'm sharing this story with you because it's kind of funny and because if you aren't aware flower girls and weddings are typically little kids like really really young we're talking like 10 to 6 years old anyways our next reddit post is from throwaway accounts my stupid ignorant sister asked my other sister and her boyfriend who are dwarves to be the flower girl and rain bear in her wedding because she thought that it would be cute all of us are over 30 years old and we don't have kids neither my dwarf sister or her husband have developmental delays she's a medical coder at a hospital and her boyfriend is an insurance underwriter they're just regular adults who happen to be under four feet tall when they were both asked to be in the wedding party they thought that it would be as bridesmaid and groomsmen not in roles that children do there are kids invited to the wedding but they're taller than my sister and her boyfriend so they were asked instead because my bridal sister thought that it would be cute i was stunned when she told me that she picked these roles for them and didn't see a problem with it i can't believe her ignorance and both my sister and her boyfriend are obviously upset okay so yeah obviously this is super super super insulting but i have to wonder opie is it possible that your sister is unaware that this is a job that normally kids do because like i said i was like 23 when i found out that flower girls are supposed to be kids the whole classroom of guys in the classroom that i was in had no idea that flower girls are typically kids so in her defense it's possible that she doesn't know but if she does know then yikes our next reddit post is from dolce gabbana my wife came out this month and i feel like i'm not allowed to be mad my wife just came out she saw it fitting with it being june and all her dad recently passed he was infamously homophobic so much so that he disowned my wife's brother for being gay we've been together for 24 years we started dating at the age of 20 and married at 25. we're now 44 and 43. we had a family three kids now between the age of 16 to 10. their lives are about to be torn apart from our divorce as i said we started dating when i was 19 and she was 20. so i gave her my entire youth while my friends were out partying with other women and experiencing their early 20s i was inside with my girlfriends while my friends had finally made it out of college and started working and living alone with their expendable incomes i was married when my friends were in their late 20s and early 30s i was with my wife and our baby everything that i gave up was worth it however i loved my wife and i was willing to give those things up to be with her to me the sacrifice was worth it she didn't feel that way though what i thought was two decades of bliss was agony for her she was just forcing herself to be with me we only made love once or twice every few weeks i drove myself crazy trying to figure out what i was doing wrong but it's just that she didn't want to be with me now i'm mad i'm furious with her and hateful towards her and yeah i get it she was so far into this lie that it was difficult to find a way out however she still lied she lied to me for nearly a quarter of a century i built my life with someone who i thought wanted to be with me on this lie that she fed me i gave her over half of my entire life i gave her my everything and she didn't even want it and now she expects me to understand she wants for me to be supportive and to not see her as a villain in this but i can't what she did is villainous what she did is worse than cheating this is heartbreaking and i can't help but hate her but i can't even act like i hate her i have to keep a unified loving front for my kid's sake that way they can still love their mother and not see her as the villain the way that i do i just hate this and i hate her man i'm with the op i think that what she did lying to you for 25 years is actually worse than cheating on you because if she cheats and that's just yeah it's a betrayal but it's over it's done you can process it you can move on you can get it divorced but this is 25 years of lying and deception that's just i don't know how you can do that to someone man i i mean i can sympathize with her that she was in the closet and that her dad was a homophobe but what does it have to do with you the solution to that if you don't want to upset your father is to not have any partners not to ruin the life of some random guy just because you need a beard for your entire life our next reddit post is from sun grounding i'm a 31 year old guy and i took my terminally ill friend's virginity before she passed today is her one year anniversary since she passed and i can't stop thinking about her she was my friend for six years her cancer came back aggressively she told us she doesn't want to go through chemo again so she planned to enjoy the time that she had left before that she was also kind of a homebody who was only close to a small group of friends which was us one night when we were all drinking she admitted to me that she was still a virgin but she doesn't want to lose her virginity to just some stranger she said she wants to lose her virginity to someone that she trusts before she goes and that person was me she didn't force me to do anything that i didn't want to she asked me but she was willing to drop it and just pretend that it never happened if i decided against it but i agreed and we decided to make it extra special we got a nice hotel room and set up fake candles all over the room to make it more romantic that was the first time that i ever passionately hugged with someone that i loved but i wasn't in love with if that makes sense it was still a very intense experience but not in a bad way there was still a lot of emotions even though she seems so happy that she got to lose her virginity to someone that she trusts part of me wonders if i did take advantage if i was wrong for saying yes it's just hard because i miss her so much but i'm just glad that at least i got to give her something before she left op i wouldn't beat yourself up about it sick people have needs too and she asked you so i don't see how this could possibly be interpreted as you taking advantage of her our next reddit post is from monamoose my girlfriend and i live together my day starts off much sooner than hers does i'm usually in the office by 6 30 am which is about the time that she starts waking up i'm one of the first people in the office so i always put headphones on and listen to music as i start my day i get about 15 minutes of music before it stops and i get the notification that the output device has changed this is because we have a google home that's hooked to my spotify account when my girlfriend wakes up she starts her day off by telling google to play a certain song that way she can listen to music when she's getting ready i always just leave my phone open to see what she's listening to and when she heads out around 7 30 i get my account back i'm sure she has no idea that she's participating in this little routine and i have no intentions of telling her sure it'd be easy to swap it to her own account but i love to know that she's awake and starting her day listening to her favorite songs another benefit of this is that i know what our current favorite songs are so when we get in the card together or we're just sitting around i know what songs will spark joy some days i think she's on to me we're both very happy together and i plan on proposing here in a few weeks i'm excited to spend the rest of my life with her opie i like to imagine that while you spy on her music listening activities meanwhile she found your reddit username so she spies on your reddit posts that was our slash true off my chest and if you like this content check out my podcast where i publish the exact same episodes also hit that subscribe button because i put out new reddit videos every single day

Channel: rSlash

Views: 274,839

Keywords: reddit, r/, rslash, r\, sub, subreddit, best of reddit, reddit top posts, top posts, top posts of all times, funniest posts, funny, comedy, funniest reddit posts, funny reddit posts, funny reddit, fails, cringe, offmychest, trueoffmychest, r/trueoffmychest, r/offmychest

Id: 6fcZFHzv1CI

Length: 15min 17sec (917 seconds)

Published: Sun Jul 17 2022