welcome to r/r off my chest where Opie discovers her deep dark family secrets our next Reddit post is from areu my daddy for background I'm a 39-year-old woman and I grew up in a family marked by domestic violence and child abuse my father Hank used to hit my mother until one day when I was old enough and I stepped in front of him from that day forward my father took all of his anger out on me and my mother was all too ready to let him he's been arrested for domestic violence and we moved around every 2 to 3 years once Child Protective Services in our new area was called when I was little I used to beg my mom to leave him but she would always remind me that she had three kids me and my two younger brothers no education Beyond a high school diploma and no work history Hank wanted her to be a stay-at-home mom to this day I've never seen anyone stand up to him besides me and they're still together to this day in spite of my childhood I went on to be rather successful growing up watching my mom in this relationship made me never want to be financially dependent on a man I earned two full ride scholarships to college and took out student loans to put myself through the rest of my schooling I'm now a doctor with a large practice living 1,000 Mi away from them and I've been no contact with Hank for almost 10 years except for recent events ever since the pandemic the need for services in my line of work has been unprecedented and I've been hiring pretty much non-stop since 2020 there's a shortage of available providers in my area and it's been tough finding qualified people to hire I belong to an online group of other practice owners in my area who are also in my particular field of work this group has been so valuable and supportive through the stress of the pandemic and the aftermath of our community so a couple of months ago I was scrolling the group and someone posted about a new free background check website that they said was very thorough I like the price price of free so I figured I'd run a background check on myself to see how good it really was I figured I'd already knew what would come up well this site was super thorough because I found my parents marriage certificate on there the thing is it was dated 3 years after I was born this didn't line up with the story that I was always told growing up for reference my parents had always told me that they were high school sweethearts and got married right after graduation and had me one year later my parents were never affectionate with one another and they never celebrated their anniversary growing up so I never suspected anything was up I called my mom and I asked her when her anniversary was and she took a long time to respond as if she was doing math in her head she lied to me at first but I asked her if she wanted to try that answer again she played dumb until I asked her if the date such and such rang a bell the phone went silent and I asked her to explain herself she then told me that she and my father father never wanted me to know that I was born out of wedlock I was Furious about being lied to my whole life but I also didn't believe that she was telling me the whole truth I hung up the phone and immediately ordered both An ancestry DNA kit and a 23 and me test to be overnighted to me the next morning I took a picture of both tests and texted them to my mother I told her I was too angry to talk to her just yet and asked to schedule a phone call with her that Friday I told her that would be her only op opportunity to come clean and if I found out she was keeping any more lies from me after that I would have to reconsider having a relationship with her Friday came and we had our phone call my mother told me that she had gotten pregnant in high school and her boyfriend's family moved him to Florida after that I was elated that Hank was not in fact my biological father but instead my adopted father but I was mostly infuriated and felt betrayed that my mother would let some man adopt me and then treat me so cruy my whole life emotions were high and I berated my mother for this it wasn't my finest hour since then my PTSD from childhood that I'd worked so long in therapy to manage in my 20s has come back full force I searched the internet for people in my situation in hopes of finding a support group or Community but it's kind of a rare problem to have after wrestling with the idea I finally made a post on my private Facebook account asking people if they had any recommendations or resources thankfully it paid off and I was put in touch with the researcher out of California who specializes in identity trauma and I found an online group of individuals who have experienced finding out that they were adopted later in life and many of them had traumatic childhoods as well it was such a relief to not feel so alone I've been connecting with DNA relatives to search for my biological father and I'm in the process of changing my last name well I gained some information on the DNA websites which revealed that surprise surprise my mother was lying about my biological father so I called her back up to ask for more information about my biological father she became defensive and angry with me for wanting to know more information about my biological family she called me ungrateful and then asked what do you want to know that I was a there do you feel better I lashed back out at her for letting hang to all of that horrible stuff to me over the years and I asked her how she could sell out her own child like that she then told me that I was a difficult child who needed discipline because you wouldn't be controlled I told her that she should have terminated her pregnancy with me and she ruined my life again it wasn't my finest hour I hung up on her and blocked her last week I received an 8 page season assist letter threatening to sue me for defamation from my Facebook post if I don't take them down the thre R was from Hank's lawyer to be honest I'm still scared of Hank but I'll be damed if I let him get away with bullying me and preventing me from speaking my truth I've had Hank blocked on Facebook for almost 10 years but somehow they had screenshots of everything I posted I never posted anything that wasn't the God's honest truth I'm upset and nervous but I won't back down and I won't let him control me anymore I'm in the process of retaining a lawyer so I'm not looking for legal advice I just needed to rant op so I'm not a lawyer I'm not super well versed in legal matters but I'm pretty sure that anyone can write a cease and assist about anything I'm pretty sure I could send a cease and assist to all of my viewers telling them to stop watching other YouTube videos and only watch my content I'm pretty sure AAS and assist is just a letter that basically says please stop doing this thing but it has no legal bearing whatsoever so Han sending you an eight page ceas and assist is just pointless it doesn't mean anything and even if he does Sue you you're speaking the truth so what do you have to worry about I think you're more afraid of Hank because of your trauma than because of the actual threat that he's presenting to you right now which I understand I'm just saying this because stand your ground op nothing Hank can do right now can really hurt you also man how do I say this I'm surprised to learn that you still have a relationship with your mother and then each time that you got angry at your mother you said that it wasn't your finest hour which suggests to me that you feel guilty for calling out your mother even though in my opinion your mother is just as bad as Hank possibly even worse than Hank like I really can't tell what's worse a child abuser or the mother of a child who lets her child be abused so I'm not criticizing you op clearly you've got a ton of trauma so maybe this is your way of coping with it by still talking to your mom but honestly I think you'd be better off cutting both Hank and your mother out of your life entirely they're toxic horrible people and you're way better off without them our next Reddit post is from felis verrada I received good news last week and I really can't share it with anyone because it's becoming more and more of a dark hobby of mine I got a guy arrested after I found him in underground chats last month bragging about what he did this guy gave me enough information to find the victim and after a lot of hard work I found her Instagram I contacted her and and she immediately contacted the cops and got him arrested this isn't the first time I've done this and I've been filing police reports of several other guys who I've come across but this is the first time that I actually found the victim and helped the lawyer with the evidence and got real feedback of my actions and it feels so good to have helped her and I'm so proud of her strength that's it I just wanted to share because I'm super happy op handing out some vigilante justice nice our next redddit post is from deleted I cheated on my wife 4 years ago I'm a 38-year-old man and my wife is 41 I regret it to this day and I've never cheated again since we have two small kids and when she found out she moved out life was hard on both of us and we were miserable I love my wife more than anything and losing her was excruciating after a few months apart I begged her to come back and we took it slow going to therapy and just trying to build our life together back up she moved back in after a year and everything was back to normal again we were even stronger and our relationship grew we're very happy together I finally thought our life was perfect again about a week ago a man showed up at my door and when I opened the door he was confused then apologized for mixing the days up I was supposed to fly home with my kids the next day my wife took over and she went back to the guy car and they talked for 5 minutes and he drove away I asked her who he was and she said he was just a friend he came to pick her up since I was supposed to be at my parents but he mixed the days up I was shocked so I asked her if she was sleeping with him she was so unbelievably unbothered looked at me for a moment and said yes I was speechless I asked her are you sleeping with others and she said yes I asked since when and she said since we got back together she was calm the whole time talking about it like it was normal she asked me why it was okay for me and not okay for her and when I said that I never as much as looked at another woman since I cheated she was surprised at first then she laughed at me she said she just assumed that I was still cheating so she thought that if I could then so could she I cancelled my trip to stay with her at home but she said she was sorry she already made plans I got very upset and started yelling at her she said that if I didn't like it then maybe we weren't supposed to be together then she said that if I kept yelling she wanted a divorce WTF buddy op come on man are you really this blind your relationship is over dead finished no more just accept it and move on because the two of you are never going to be in a loving relationship again you literally after around and you found out our next Reddit post is from Ericson's diary I still can't comprehend what happened I guess I just need to get this off my chest I'm having a vacation in Spain because my family has an apartment here a few days ago I was just browsing through my phone in this apartment complex our walls are not soundproof not at all each resident can hear what the other ones do like cook talk Etc I could suddenly hear some really loud moans and creaks since my room is right next to the wall separating us it's not a big deal but it went on for hours I I was starting to feel pretty uncomfortable so I put my headphones on to block it out as it was happening during the day I could hear the wall being banged between us and I just hope they weren't breaking anything so now earlier today I saw the wife of the neighbor while taking out trash she told me that her family would appreciate it if I would stay quiet after 10 p.m. because I have a bad habit of watching TV until midnight I apologized to her and asked her in return could you be a bit more quiet during intimacy I know that I have no right to ask that and I acknowledge that then she told me that she and her husband hadn't been intimate in years I apologized and left I'm now writing this post a few hours after the encounter I've been hearing screaming coming out of their Apartments I think I ruined their marriage I feel really bad about it as they also have a young kid I feel bad for telling her that but at the same time I didn't know I'm really sorry for the kid op I understand the guilt that you're feeling I think that's somewhat natural but let's be super clear here you didn't ruin the marriage the cheating husband ruined the marriage our next Reddit post is from loud complex my husband suggested poly Amry a few years ago and I love it we're 5 years into our marriage with 3-year-old twin girls after the girls were born my husband pushed for a polygamous relationship and at first I was against it he kept pushing and I finally said yes at first when he would be out with someone else I would cry I debated divorce for a while after I cried and processed everything I realized how over him I was I also realized that leaving him would put me in an awful position and the girls would have to live their whole lives moving houses every other week then while I was deciding what to do I realized the perks my husband works full-time while I teach yoga part-time in the morning I get great insurance through his work a great place to live and barely pay any bills he worked from home most days but I slowly convinced him into going into the office after I get home from my morning yoga classes around 9:00 a.m. I then pushed him to go on more dates and I would do whatever I wanted with the twins we go out on playdates with my mom's friends we see movies go to Parks do anything we want my husband is almost always gone at this point on multiple dates with multiple women I get to pick what I want to watch every night after the girls go to bed I rarely have to clean up after my husband because he's gone all the time I basically get all of my bills paid for I get a free place to live if I wi a night off I just tell my husband I have a date and he takes care of the girls or takes them to his parents' place I typically don't have a date I just go shopping eat at a place by myself or read a book at Starbucks I'll even do girls nights and get us hotel room so none of us have to Uber home I've gone on a couple dates but honestly I don't really care to date our relationship ship is basically over but I enjoy the perks of it now our next creddit post is from deleted my great-grandfather passed away 2 years ago he left me $50,000 in his will I was surprised because we didn't know each other at all the money was locked away until last week anyways I have $115,000 in credit card debt $20,000 in student loans and a $10,000 mortgage so my idea was to pay off my debt and put whatever was left into my savings well my girlfriend says that she wants us to use that 50k to get a down payment on our own house right now we live in my house I bought it 10 years ago dirt cheap at $70,000 it does need some remodeling but I made it work and now it's a cozy place she keeps saying that it's our money but it's my inheritance so it's my money if I pay off my debts it'll cut down my monthly expenses by 70% the only remaining expenses will be food water El electricity and miscellaneous my car was paid off last year Opie I don't really know why you're making this post because it's very clear what you should do and it sounds like you already know what to do so yeah this is your money it's not your girlfriend's money pay off your debts man because yeah technically it's your money now but if you use that 50k to buy a house that's in your and your girlfriend's name then suddenly that 50k becomes half her money that was r/ true off my chest and if you like this content check out my podcast where I publish the exact same episodes also hit that subscribe button because I put out new Reddit videos every single day
