r/StoriesAboutKevin - He Put WAY Too Many Chillis

what's up guys welcome to daily dose of Reddit this is your host Zach and today's subredditizarre stories about Kevin all right uh here we have a story called a very long story about a very special Soldier part two if you've read my last story which we have welcome back now we're going to fast forward three months we're now in Iraq and I'm looking leaner meaner and with a promotion to boot I have been promoted to private first class I'm waiting in the chow line when I immediately sensed a great evil I heard my name being called from behind me and there was the Kramer standing near the end of the line she initially tried jumping forward and cutting behind me but a very Gruff Sergeant behind me shoved her out and she had to go back but that didn't stop her from finding me at my table as it turned out she was sent with a group of 10 additional soldiers to our unit our company he actually deployed shorthanded so these troops were sent to us to supplement us the Kramer had noticed that I had been promoted since our last meeting and attempted to convince me that through some weird logic she's still technically outranked me this only made me laugh and I couldn't even finish my lunch she tried to guilt-trip me due to her lost promotional status but my patience for her had since run out so like last time I'll try to condense the next events into separate points that occurred over the next few months leaving her weapons in body armor outside of her quarters for several hours only for them to be found by a lieutenant she was then ordered to wear her gear wherever she went so it wouldn't go missing attempted to draw down on an Iraqi Merchant who she claimed had shorted her change I'm pretty sure that means that she pointed a loaded gun at an Iraqi Merchant for any sort of disciplinary action given to to soldiers when they do stuff like this or is it all just who cares Drew down on her own teammates after he made a funny comment about her and she defended her actions by saying that's how they choked this caused her to have her weapons taken away for a brief amount of time I was taught this by someone I don't know who but basically don't point a gun at something or someone unless you're willing to kill it this was the last thing I was witness to I had been previously injured and was sent home shortly after the event so I wasn't there for all of it apparently not long after coming to Iraq she rekindled her affair with Jack Black it didn't take long for her to get found out again though and this is the part I still make fun of Jack Black for our leadership had been hearing rumors of soldiers hooking up after hours so one night they decided to do a Health and Welfare inspection one of the big tip-offs was the Kramer's roommate who is tired of dealing with Jack Black being in her room as they were checking rooms they did find several couples but the kicker was in the Kramer's room the leadership initially didn't find anything until they heard a sneeze come from a wall Locker the leadership opened it up and found Jack black naked at this point both Kramer and Jack Black had lost all rank I was already back stateside when this happened but it still did not end there oh boy is this what is the Kramer I don't like Kramer though she's not some sort of lovable idiot she's a freaking stupid person that points guns at people and sleeps with people that shouldn't be slept with other than by their significant other all right this one's called a very long story about a very special Soldier part three this is the final part I promise at this point I was back in Texas due to injuries I received in combat I won't say how I was injured out of respect for the family of those involved but I will say that I got more air time than Tony Hawk and not on purpose man I've been so obsessed with thps lately after I had received a few Awards including a surprise promotion to specialist I was given some news the Kramer had been kicked out of Iraq the story behind this would be sad if it were anyone else but since it's not anyone else it's not that sad apparently she was given her weapons back and allowed to go back on missions on her first day back her Squad uncovered a mass grave apparently she got excited about seeing a dead body in begged to go look at it later that day she claimed that she was having nightmares attributed to seeing a dead body over the course of a month she refused to go on any more missions and an army chaplain pushed for her to be sent back when she returned she initially tried to get buddy buddy again with me and another old acquaintance that same acquaintance called her on her Beaver sausage as the Kramer still owed her a ton of cash that she claimed she needed before deployment turns out she just didn't have any beer money and blew it on whatever of course she was forced to pay it back now initially she had assumed she would be staying gone as a rear detachment Personnel someone who stays behind to run day-to-day operations of the company while being on the rear detachment with us she got up to her usual shenanigans such as stole several medals from our supply room these included a Purple Heart a Combat Action Badge a Sergeant's rank an air assault badge and a Good Conduct Medal with the intent of making herself look like a hero to the VA in Seattle wow how ironic she stole a good contact badge we caught her through and through and barred her from the supply room as a side note I want to mention that she was not from Washington she was from Tennessee but she claimed Washington because she had relatives there tried to convince several younger brand new soldiers that she was some kind of genuine war hero she would regularly show up to random Barracks parties within our Brigade footprint at these parties she would regularly steal any beer that wasn't shrank and take it to a room one of these parties was a turning point half of our basic training company ended up at hood and one of our fellow trainees let the new guys know that she was full of crap well when the Kramer showed up up to one of these random parties she proceeded to get completely wasted after she became combative the soldiers at the party hog titer with duct tape and left her in front of one of our other soldiers rooms I was called in the middle of the night to help carry the Porpoise to a room I wanted to leave her hogtied till morning but I was told that was a bad idea we also confiscated all the beer she had stolen at this point which was around 13 cans and seven bottles she tried to get it back but our rear Commander asked her for her ID she was only 20 so she couldn't get it back she was also told she was banned from the other Barracks now for whatever reason the Kramer was under the impression that Jack Black's wife was her bestie to this day I have no idea what her thought process was behind this well at one of the FRG meetings for our company basically a meeting for Army Wives to decide how to support their husbands we were informed that Mama Soros would be attending she was a sitting chairman in this group and held some sway within the company initially we had her go to a room but she went to the picnic tables in front of the company for a cigarette we didn't know this when the FRG came in they told us the Kramer had went to the Gazebo and Mama Soros saw her mama Soros was Furious but we ignored it for the time being well the FRG decided that our tiny office wasn't good enough and they wanted the Gazebo instead our rear Commander then tasked me into one of the sergeants emphasizing me to move her well we went out and asked her to move to a room and she stupidly told us make me I was done in my at the time caveman logic I grabbed her by the collars of her uniform and hoisted this Stay Puft Marshmallow woman up and tossed her to the ground my sergeant was slightly dumbfounded since I wasn't exactly an aggressive person despite referring to my thought process as caveman logic as she was getting up she tried to square up with me but I planted a perfect Spartan Kick to her chest yelling at her to get to a room she then got the idea and went to a room we went back inside and I told the FRG that she was moved well when we got out there Mama Soros had spotted her hanging out in front of her room watching us I signaled for her to get back in her room and this time she listened the meeting then went off without a hitch that weekend she tried to go to Mama source's house to talk Mama Soros pulled a sword she had mounted on her wall and chased her off about five months before our company was set to return our first sergeant arrived to give a briefing in his briefing he informed several of the rear detachment Personnel if they didn't have any pending medical issues that he'd be expecting them to return to Iraq with him while giving this briefing he made eye contact with the Kramer who acted complacent of the situation and further informed us that we would need to schedule a meeting with him if we wanted to stay in several of us stepped forward but in private he informed us that he was only really targeting two people one of them being the Kramer well the Kramer continued to play stupid and never scheduled the appointment for the week the first sergeant was back as soon as the first sergeant left of course she was all about re-enlisting the rear Commander straight up told her no that he was not endorsing her not long after we were called by our brigades reenlistment office to come and get her the rear detachment Commander had me accompanying him over to drag her out if she got combative he heard about the fight and had been trying to poke the bear to see if it happened again she listened to Wesson left shortly after the separation paperwork was filed during her out processing I was made her driver she initially thought this meant I was her chauffeur but I wasn't having that a couple of times she tried to smoke in my car while I was driving I'm not a fan of cigarette smoke and would usually pull the car over of course she would get angry and I told her I'd keep driving if she put it out she put it out the first time but then as soon as I'd start driving again she'd try lighting up again and I'd again pull over making her late to her appointments after getting shot down and being told that she was not going to be borrowing anyone's car she started trying to give me bad directions to her appointments this dragged on for a while before she finally realized that the only one really getting in trouble for her inability to make appointments was her she finally calmed down and accepted her fate as far as the icing on the cake goes I have some decent tidbits since this all occurred from 2005 to 2007 almost exactly two years she had to repay a rather Hefty bonus the final bit came as she was leaving right after she got into her taxi to be taken to the airport she closed the door and was waving bye to us at that moment the rear detachment Commander revealed that he had some of her beer and passed it all around to us we then clanked the bottles together and collectively yelled good riddance all the while she stared at us in shock I have no contact with the Kramer nor do I intend to have any she still tries to add me on various forms of social media but I always decline at one point I looked at her profile and saw that she was briefly a security guard at one of the shopping malls either in Olympia or Tacoma Washington but nowadays she's a youth pastor I really feel sorry for whoever she's influencing but at the same time I really hope she got her act together yeah I I agree maybe since it's been like well over a decade I'm sure she's matured a bit You Gotta Give the benefit of the doubt especially when it doesn't hurt to do so you're not gonna talk to her anything well anyway Opie thank you for sharing these awesome stories and thank you for your service I enjoyed reading about Kramer but I don't like Kramer which I guess yes you did a good job all right this story is called caregiver Kevin my partner has cerebral palsy it's severe enough to where he cannot use his hands to do daily tasks and as such he relies on caregivers to help him eat and get dressed due to brovid19 he lost two caregivers although thankfully not to anyone getting sick and has been relying heavily on one in particular so he was trying to get at least one more on board which didn't go very smoothly caregiver Kevin was a middle-aged guy who supposedly has experience in the type of caregiving my partner needs basically cooking cleaning feeding and dressing evidently he was lacking in two of these areas these incidents took place on the same night and left my partner and I Furies one my partner ordered Indian food he's way into chicken tikka masala and coconut naan coconut naan is much different from regular naan it's a dirt and basically tastes like a candy bar with a bread instead of a chocolate coating the texture is weird as a result as well and the raisins don't help this particular night my partner also got kir which is an Indian rice pudding and the restaurant also gives rice with every meal Pro tip to my three people out there who actually make cute um mix coconut flakes into the cute it's so good Kevin in his infinite wisdom has apparently never eaten Indian food so instead of asking my partner how he likes it served simply mix the rice with the tikka masala and the sweet coconut Naan in the rice pudding after some somewhat forceful prodding and explanation Kevin threw away the completely inedible concoction while talking about how we were wrong and Indian food always gets mixed together again he apparently has never eaten Indian food and is in his late 40s I mean he's not wrong though most rice dishes you do mix them together in the end so I after telling him my partner needed a new meal he went to the fridge and grabbed the meal that he prepared for the following day all caregivers cook a meal or two ahead my partner takes one bite and starts coughing and gagging when his throat clears he starts screaming what the frick no no freaking effort talks like this to caregivers even when one caregiver basically dropped him on his head he didn't get that mad something is seriously wrong the meal is basically stir fry with bell peppers onions mushrooms and some pasta and chicken not even mixed together just separately on the plate as I'm trying to piece together what's going on my partner vomits all over the floor I Rush him to the bathroom and give him a bucket while Kevin just stays in his chair completely Frozen while my partner is basically sobbing in the bathroom and dry heaving I asked Kevin what he did to the food well I know it was he said he doesn't like spicy food but I do so I decided to make his food spicier because it's always better that way dead silence my partner cannot physically handle anything spicier than a very mild chicken tikka masala a single jalapeno mixed in a taco could give him Killer heartburn for several hours and can make him nauseous cranberry juice gives him heartburn too there's a reason spicy food is banned from being made for him and why his meals tend to be a bit Bland for some people's tastes how spicy Kevin well since stir fry should be a bit spicy I saw the two red peppers in the fridge so I figured what the hey it's not like anyone can't handle a bit of heat and I saw some hot sauce in the cabinet so I figured out it would go great with the pasta and the stir fry I apparently turned so white that I looked just as sick as my partner so you're telling me that for a single meal you used two habanero peppers and a giant serving of ghost pepper sauce both of which are labeled with my name on shelves labeled for my use only and after being told quite clearly to not make anything spicy well he ordered Indian food so I figured it would be okay it's his fault for not wanting to mix the Indian food properly again he apparently has never eaten Indian food wow it sounds like a good meal though I love spicy food but yes if someone can't handle spice don't don't be a jerk to them and Spike their food because yeah spicy food is great and I love it however if you don't like it it just hurts that's all it is don't forget to like subscribe and hit that Bell to never miss an episode [Music]

Channel: Daily Dose Of Reddit

Views: 2,382

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit funny, daily dose of reddit, daily dose of internet, daily dose of memes

Id: 2KLqKX4Tzjg

Length: 17min 8sec (1028 seconds)

Published: Wed Jan 18 2023